this is so old but o well

Alright you guy wanted to see my old comic crap? Well here you go

I

W A N T

T O

D I E

And this was all 3-4 years ago, god i’m so glad I can draw shit like this now

2

a conga line of goobers

  • What she says: I'm fine.
  • What she means: Heather Duke has a jeep, why did Macnamara have to ride the bus? Sure Duke was an ass, but did she really make her friend ride the bus? Unless she didn't have her license, but in that case, did she also ride the bus? I mean I don't think that would fly with her, right? She would bitch at her parents to give her some other way. But would she really still make her so called friend still ride the bus? Why does Macnamara not ask for a ride? Is she afraid of Duke? I mean it would make sense if she was because Duke has the ability to ruin her like Chandler used to be able to, but why is Duke more popular than Macnamara, is it because she's bitchier? Maybe it's because she's meaner in general? Or she's just louder? Either way, Macnamara was the more liked of the surviving Heathers, so wouldn't she "inherit" the throne? Or maybe Duke was the only one who wanted it. But in all of Duke's popularity did she really have to make her friend ride the bus? Would no one else give Macnamara a ride?
Lance and Matt BROTP (Latte)

Okay okay so we All know about the amazing langst potential with Matt around

But after that?

I just really want them to be best bros

-

Along the way they start talking. They discover that their sense of humor is almost the same and they have aLOt in common

-

*Keith walks into the room*

Matt: “is that a fucking Mullet. Who is that angsty teen over there”

Lance: “Thank u God for Pidge`s brother, Matt Holt, and my future husba-”

Pidge: “LANCE EW NO.”


-

*Green lion flying through the air*

Lance, muttering to himself:
“Oh shit whaddup-”

Matt, basically shouting into Shiro`s ear :
“-HERE COMES DAT BOI”

-

They talk about family, about how they both miss their moms. Lance tells Matt how he looks alot like his brother at home. Matt is just like “dude I can be your brother until u get back home” because that’s what Lance did to Pidge and Matt is forever grateful for that. He wants to return the favour.

-

What if one day they go on a diplomatic mission together and they managed to convince the aliens that voltron’s anthem was All Stars by Smashmouth??

They also manage to convince them that the sign of the alliance with Voltron is a finger gun dab?

Like dabbing but with finger guns

So like the Leader wanting to please Voltron commands their army to line up and yeah like there is a whole troop of millitants standing intimidatingly in front of the team. And then Suddenly the general shouts
“ATTENTION!” and all those scary buff ass soldiers dab in perfect syn c

The team LOSES their shit. Pidge is red faced, cackling , Hunk is wheezing so hard tears just keep streaming down his face, Keith is a little confused but chuckles, he is glad to see the team happy. Shiro is fighting hard to keep a straight face, his lips are turned up at the corners and his shoulders are shaking. Allura is just???? Coran is just shakes his head fondly because its That Thing Lance told him about and tries explaining it to the princess.

-

Lance introducing Matt to his “chill time”

It includes fabulous self care. Eg: face masks, nail polish, etc.
(“Katie touch my leg it’s so S m O O Th”)

Matt introduces Lance to his own “chill time” as well

Very fucking dramatic. It consists of launching themselves out of their lions, switching off their comms and screaming about how ‘life is a biTCH into the dark abyss of space where no one can hear them.

-

I bet they do little sleepovers where they gossip and do the whole self care routine

It will also usually include BLANKET FORTS.
And passwords and codenames.

Keith: “Cowboy McEmo”
He has to sing “Old McDonald had a farm” but instead it’s “Keith McEmo had a farm” or just brandish his knife threateningly

Pidge: “Gremlin” “WhatthehellisaPidge”
Has to say how cool Matt is in sonnets

Hunk: “Babe”, “Bro”, “Sweetheart,” basically any pet name in the world
Doesn’t need to do anything. But he insists and brings a snack or two anyways

Shiro: “Space dad,” “Naruto Scriptwriter”
Has to admit Matt is better at Mario Kart than he is (despite Matt being horrible at it)

((Thank u to my friend on Insta u know wh9 u are))

anonymous asked:

I solemnly challenge you to complete the song. "Somebody once told me/ The world already known me/ Just because both of my parents are dead. I was looking kind of dumb/ with my finger and my thumb/ pressing my lightning scar on my forehead."

No.

(Well, the spells start coming and they don’t stop coming,
Death eaters came, so I better start running,
When does this Chosen One stuff get fun?
I got a wand, wish I had a gun.

So much to do, so much to see,
But not down on Knockturn Alley.
Malfoy’s here, think I gotta go.
That kid is up to something bad, you know.

Hey, now, you’re a wizard, Harry Potter, and so
Hey, now, you’re a saviour, beat the Dark Lord, gotta go
Your spells won’t win you the gold
Drink the felicis, do what you’re to-o-old.)

Jikook fic recs masterpost

Hi everyone! So, as any jikook shipper, you all know that there is a variety of great fics, old and new, about our fave ship. I, personally, tend to like reading more about the new ones (not because the 2014 ones aren’t good anymore, but like, u know what i mean, dynamics of the ship changed).

So as someone who spends……. alot….. of their free time reading and writing fics, and as someone who’s been in the fandom for a couple months now, i tought it would be a good idea to write down here some of my faves for you, old shipper who thinks they’ve read them all, or new shipper who doesn’t know where to start :) 

I’ll try to recommend complete ones for the most part, and recent ones, but you know…… some of ‘em are classics. Here are my personnal all-time favorites.

Let’s start ! (in no particular order)

* - awesome

** - extra-awesome

*** - life-changing

1. Constraint, by Harlot. ** One shot, 40k, complete. “Jungkook is young and he is more acquainted with confusion and poor-decision-making than he’d like to admit. Despite being only 19 years old, he sometimes argues that he’s been through and seen some shit. He is never sure where he’s going to end up and he’s not entirely sure what kind of future is waiting for him. He is often not sure of a lot but he is certain—absolutely certain—that he’s not gay.
Alternatively, a story in which Jungkook meets Park Jimin and doesn’t like him whatsoever. There’s just something about him… there’s just so much about him. Jungkook really can’t stand him. In fact, he can’t stand him so much he can’t quite seem to get him off of his mind.
” ((So this one is quite lengthy, i know, but totally worth it ! Jungkook is a real douche in the beginning, but his reactions are so believable and relatable that you forgive him instantly. Great caracterization. Smutty parts in the end.))

2. Loverboy, by gangbang. *** One shot, 9k, complete. “this much jimin’s figured out: sometimes, somehow, his words make people fall in love with him.” ((Okay so this one is my personnal favorite, if I had to chose from all the jikooks fics, and probably all fics of all ships of all times, this would probably win the 1rst place. There’s something about it. Magical realism. Ansgt. Incredible storyline and characterization. A+++))

3. More golden than a golden snitch, by arborescent. ** Series of 3 One shots. 4k for this one, complete. “Everyone knows that the first year Slytherin seeker Jeon Jungkook’s biggest fan is not from his own house but a third year Hufflepuff named Park Jimin.” ((Okay so another old one… but a true classic. This one is a series so be sure to read the 3 of them, aren’t long, but truly amazing. HP au, with a lot of misunderstandings, a tsundere jk, and a fluffy muggleborn jimin. Don’t have to have loved HP to read this.))

4. And back again, by novilunar. * One shot, 3k, complete. “Jimin wishes he could stay away from Jungkook.” ((Ok so this is also an old one BUT i had to link it cause i read it 4 times by now and it is  THE fic that started me into Jikook. Basically, Jimin doesn’t do one night stands, and thats all jk does. Jimin falls. Happy ending. Great writing. Good smutty parts. Love it.))

5. The Bet, by jonghyunslisterine. ** 11 chapters, 46k, complete. “Where Jeon Jungkook makes a bet that he can get the notoriously single Park Jimin to sleep with him by the end of the semester. Needless to say, things don’t go exactly as planned.” ((Okay, another old one, classic, that you probably already read. If not, then  d o   i t. Quite lengthy, but a safe bet. Great great great character development. Jimin is such a complex but lovely being and jk is such a douche but then gets it and it all goes well in the end. The jeonlous is gold. University setting, and jk’s concerns about school are so well written and so relatable. Great one overall.))

6. Flowertalk, by soranosuzu. * One shot, 3k, complete. “Jimin works in a flower shop and Jungkook is a delivery boy who drives a pastel pink van.” ((Tooth rotting fluff. Short and sweet, perfect for when you’re feeling for it.))

7. You’re ripped at every edge (but you’re a masterpiece), bykafeuka. * 3 chapters, 34k, complete.  “Jimin swore there was nothing worst than having Jeon Jungkook as a sergeant.(Or,In which Jimin was forced to enlist in military and he was under the sexgod Sergeant Jeon’s monitoring division and god, Sergeant Jeon really needs to stop being a douchebag)” ((Ok so this one is maybe not an ultimate fave, but it’s only b/c of the end. Overall, it’s great, tho’. Military AU. Sexual tension. JK is sexually frustrated and frustrating. JM is a rich boy. Both characters are douches. Loved the idea.))

8. One upon a time share, by namakemono. * 5 chapters, 32k, complete. “Jungkook is in desperate need of a vacation, but spending two weeks in Namjoon and Hoseok’s timeshare in Okinawa with his recently separated ex of three years was probably (definitely) not what he had in mind.” ((I don’t know why i like the ex trope so much??? anyone with me??? there isn’t enough of those. JK and JM broke up, but their friends are still friends. And want them back together. Oops. Love it.))

7. White T-shirt and Brown Timberlands, by Rose_gold715. ** One shot, 11k, complete. “Jimin is filing for divorce after eight years with Jungkook. He needs to let go, and yet, he wants to hold on a little longer.” ((Aaaaand another ex trope, but not really. Established relationship that doesn’t go well for a while, but happy ending. Original idea. Kinda angsty, and heartbreaking. Loved it.))

8. You’re a hard soul to save with an ocean in the way (but i’ll get around it), by namakemono (great author ok bye). ** One shot, 20k, complete. “Jimin has the whole ocean at his fingertips, but for some reason he can’t help but look up to where the humans are, and wonder what it’s like to be part of their world.(or: the Little Mermaid AU that no one asked for)” ((Ok so now move on to something a lil’ fluffier. I DID NOT KNOW HOW MUCH I WANTED A LITTLE MERMAID AU. But i did. Jimin w/ red hair. Rich boy JK that has to take care of him. Funny and cute. A little jowel of a fic.))

9. You Don’t Bring Me Flour, by superbroc. * One shot, 3k, complete. “In order to graduate, Park Jimin must convince cute grocery cashier Jeon Jungkook that this sack of flour is his beloved child.” ((Soooo funny. Happy and fluffy. Great when you’re in the mood for something lighter.))

10. Let’s play for keeps, bykaythebest. * One shot, 4k, complete. “Jimin plays games for the entertainment of the Internet. Poorly. In fact, his entire schtick seems to be entirely based on how terrible he is. JimJams tries. He rarely succeeds.” ((Youtuber AU. Funny. A lot of Pining. What’s there more to ask.))

11. A touch of sin, by pettey. *** 10 chapters, 102k, complete. “After his transfer to a quiet seaside town, Jeongguk was prepared to face a year of uneventful CID work, but found himself dealing with a series of strange murders instead.” ((ULTIMATE FAVE OF THE MOMENT. Last fic I actually read, yesterday, in the middle of the night. Terrible idea, ‘cause it’s so spooky. I’m not a fan of gore, so i was scared when i read the hashtags, but really there isn’t that much, and it’s so well written that you barely notice it. The story is so well written and plot-driven. It could litteraly be a book. The universe is so intriguing. Ghosts. Witchcraft. JK is a cop, JM is a witch, sorta. Weird murders happen, JM is suspected. Sexual tension. So soooo much sexual tension. Characters are amazingly written. Slowbuilt. The end is bittersweet, if you don’t like much of happy endings, you’ll love it, if you only like happy endings (like me), you’ll love it too. Also there’s smut. And amazing song recommandations.))

12. Nu ABO: A Memoir by Park Jimin, by decompositionbooks. ** 6 chapters, 34k, complete. “The world didn’t think it was necessary to give him a guide when it shoved all of these omega hormones at him, so here it is, Park Jimin’s handbook on dealing with heats, unrequited love, and Jeon Jungkook.” ((You kids are so lucky to be able to read this fic in one go. I had to wait for every chapter. E v e r y   o n e. I know not all are fans of ABO dynamics, but try this one, please. It’s so good. Jimin is hilarious. Jungkook is emotionally constipated. Sexual tension. Jealousy. Great writing. A+))

13. Leave Your Mark, by snarcsics. *** 3/10 chapters, 49k, not completed. “The first time Jimin meets a gaunt, small beta boy named Jungkook in the examination room of Namjoon’s lab, he can’t seem to take his eyes off him. The second time he sees Jungkook it’s because he refuses to eat without him. The third time they meet, Jungkook is more teeth and claws than Jimin can handle.” ((OK SO I KNOW THIS FIC IS NOT COMPLETED. BUT LISTEN it’s worth it. Ohhh so worth it. Plus the author tends to finish all of her fics. Superd kind, replies to all comments. This fic is the beginning of a masterpiece. Not like any ABO. The plot is so great. The characterization is A+++. So much tension. So intriguing. JM is an omega. JK is a beta that will become an alpha artificially cause they are extinct. It doesn’t go so well. Please read it. Trust me on this one. You won’t regret it.))


So this is all of my ultimate favorite fics! I still have plenty I would like to recommend, but I figured too long posts annoy everyone. Tell me if you liked this list and if you would like me to do some others :) I was thinking about doing thematics ones, like fluffy, smutty, angsty… Tell me if that would be something you’d like! 

If you have any fics to recommend me, please please please do so!

This fandom is great. This ship is great. Don’t forget to comment on the stories you read to encourage these fabulous authors!

Thank you for reading!

r u KIDDIN me with that deleted scene like look they are such an old married couple, chirrut saying “yes yes” and waving his hand in the general direction of where he knows baze to be and meanwhile of course baze is actively doing shit that will Get Them Out Of There and could chirrut be helping? of course he could. is it more fun to stand there and troll his husband about his staunch atheism? absolutely.

and baze physically dragging chirrut out of the cell, he is not gentle but only bc he knows he doesn’t need to be?? they know e/o so well i’m? no one else around them may as well even exist the rest of the world is just static you can tell they’re each easily the most interesting thing to each other for miles around in every direction

and they’re both grinning as they escape because explosions? rogue pilots? this is the most fun they’ve had in years and also because they both know the other one thinks they’re full of shit and they’re both totally fine w/ it and it’s hilarious to them god they’re so in love ok this whole movie was basically Baze and Chirrut’s Second Honeymoon (With Probably Only Slightly More Revolution Than the First Honeymoon)

The Friendly Wager (Part 2)

Summary: AU. Reader and Bucky Barnes are neighbors and best friends. After yet another bad date, reader comes home to find Bucky with his typical weekend target. They decide to make a wager about dating, but is there more on the line than reader cares to admit?

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Word Count: 2,613

Warnings: language, fluff, sarcasm, complete and utter denial, social drinking

A/N: This is my submission for the lovely Kait’s ( @bionic-buckyb) 5k AU Challenge. Congrats on the followers, friend! My prompt was “Can you please come over so I don’t feel so alone?

Part 1 - 2 - 3 -

Originally posted by upper-east-side-elite

Keep reading

BTS reaction when they develop a crush on you @ a variety show

Anonymous said: BTS reaction when they at an variety Show with an female Idol and Start to have a crush her!?

I swear the reaction requests in my inbox have been sitting there for so long, I’m sorry guys T^T

Here it is though! I hope you enjoy ^_^

Also!! I wrote this reaction in a slightly different way (I’ve changed the tense a little) let me know if it works well or if I should go back to the old way ^o^

(Y/G/N) = Your Group Name [just for clarification cx]


Rap Monster (Namjoon):

Originally posted by gukiee

Being the leader of the group, Namjoon would be most engaged in the activities, answering many of the questions sent their way, and even translating questions from international fans for the other boys. However, he’d feel himself getting distracted by the sight of you sitting on the stool, your cue cards in hand, your legs swinging as a warm smile rested on your face, genuinely enjoying the company of the boys. 

As you were also the leader of your own group, Namjoon would have seen you around before, be it at award shows or on broadcasts, admiring your outgoing personality and your natural beauty. So to see you sitting here in front of him, as the host of the variety show no doubt, he feels himself wanting to impress you. And so, he puts even more thought into his answers, occasionally looking down with a smile.

When you speak, he listens intently, his attention focused entirely on you, his lips stretching into a smile, dimples indented on his face as he feels a new feeling of attraction to you, your presence uplifting his mood immensely. Your smile warms his heart, as you both make eye contact, grinning at each other, to the amusement of the other boys, and even the other hosts. 


Jin (Seokjin):

Originally posted by theseoks

Jin would gaze at you adoringly as you spoke, the others all laughing at your playful banter, his hands propping up his chin as he watched you. Not wanting to make you feel uncomfortable though, Jin eventually looks away, instead putting effort into everything he is asked to do, in an attempt to impress you.

Even when it comes to the dance segments, Jin is the first to jump up, giving it his all, a smile on his face the whole time. He glances over at you occasionally, curious about your reaction. When he sees you smiling, nodding in encouragement, his heart swells, and the other boys notice his clear change in mood, giggling and chuckling to themselves as they all watched Jin being completely enamoured by you.

Noticing Jin’s behaviour towards you, you couldn’t help but smile and giggle, feeling touched that he might think of you in that way. And so, your behaviour signals to him that you feel the same way, nodding encouragingly at him and grinning at him, your gaze often sliding over to look at him. The boys of BTS try to muffle their laughter, as they notice the two of you discretely flirting with each other, making sure to tease Jin about it afterwards. 


Suga (Yoongi):

Originally posted by mn-yg

Yoongi would be sat next to Hoseok, on the set of Star Show 360, listening and nodding away as the hosts asks questions, chuckling at the other boys’ antics. He casually joins in with the talk, cringing at Jin’s dad jokes, and sighing at everyone who actually laughs at Jin’s jokes.

“Do you actually find that funny?” He asks in disbelief, while Jin hits the table, laughing at his own jokes.

The show progresses, and a special guest is announced to help with the next segment. The boys perk up in curiosity, everyone looking towards the entrance waiting to see who this guest is.

You walk through, your hair bouncing as you grin at everyone there, the boys cheering politely. Yoongi continues to look at you with curiosity, recognising you as the rapper of (Y/G/N). He’s seen you perform before, your undeniable charisma and surprising skills catching his attention.

So, when he spots you walking in, an air of confidence surrounding you in the way you held yourself, he leans forward, all his attention now focused on you. As you lead the next segment of the show, he realises that, while you are confident, you’re still down to earth as a person, your laughter and jokes bringing a smile to his face, and even urging laughter from him.

“Yah, so you laugh at her jokes but not mine?” Jin exclaims in mock offence, shaking his head, and yet unable to stop his own laughter as Yoongi simply laughs, his lips curling up into a gummy smile. Yoongi looks up at you, your cheeks dusted with a light pink as you returned the gaze, a warm smile on your face.


J-Hope (Hoseok):

Originally posted by yoonkooks

Your idol group would be on Weekly Idol along with BTS for a special episode. The atmosphere is lively, the set alive with the sound of laughter, even the cameramen trying to muffle their own laughter at the hilarity that ensues. Hoseok notices you from the start, your outgoing and funny personality bringing a smile to everyone’s face.

Everyone quietens down while the hosts introduce the Random Play Dance segment of the show, starting with your group. You stretched your arms out, your face lighting up with determination, gesturing to your group to get up. Being the main dancer of your group, Random Play Dance would be your favourite segment of the show, a chance for you to both show your skills and also have some fun in the process.

The segment commences, the music echoing through the set, as the boys of BTS watch intently, Hoseok focusing especially on you. You laugh and shout out as you all frantically try to find your position, but once you get yourselves together, your group powers through the choreography, making only miniature mistakes here and there. Cheering spreads through the set, from BTS and from the hosts themselves. The music suddenly changes up though, and instead ‘Fire’ by BTS plays, to the shock of the boys and to your group. After a second of confusion, your lips curl up in a smile, and you begin pulling off the moves effortlessly and almost flawlessly, causing Hoseok to jump up from his seat, waving his arms in the air excitedly as he watches you with awe.

The music finally stops, and you wipe the sweat away from your forehead, a huge grin etched onto your face as you notice Hoseok staring at you adoringly, his heart fluttering as a new feeling settles in his chest.


Jimin:

Originally posted by reneemallen

BTS would be live on After School Club, sitting together on stools, laughing and casually answering questions. You would be one of the hosts, along with 15&’s Jimin and DAY6′s Jae, a grin resting on your face as you interview the boys and introduce the different segments of the show. You genuinely enjoy hosting at ASC, your playful banter with both the boys and the hosts filling the room with laughter.

Jimin would seem weirdly shy, constantly looking down at the floor with a smile, a rosy pink dusting his cheeks. When he thinks you wouldn’t notice, his eyes dart up to stare at you, butterflies frantic in his chest, as he realises he’s beginning to develop feelings for you. The sweetness of your smile, the way you seem like you truly enjoy their company, the way you tease the other hosts with a laugh. He doesn’t realise how long he’s been staring until the hosts are watching him curiously and expectantly, their eyebrows raised, a smirk dancing across their lips.

“Jimin?” You ask, waiting for an answer. “Okay, well, I guess we’ll move on.” You try not to laugh, your cheeks turning a light shade of pink under his gaze.

He looks down at the floor once again, slightly embarrassed at being caught. Jungkook sitting next to him nudges him, teasing him about you, a mischievous smirk on his face. Jimin only laughs, hitting him on the shoulder lightly. He looks up while Jae introduces the next segment, only to see you staring at him, your lips curled up in a pretty smile. You wink lightly at him, before turning to face the others, and once again, Jimin blushes, wondering if he had imagined the whole thing.


V (Taehyung):

Originally posted by jeonthegreat

Taehyung would be oblivious to the fact that he has been staring at you for a lengthy amount of time, his mouth wide in a box smile, hands pressed to his face from how his heart swells at the sight of you. You’re sitting composed yet a mischievous twinkle dancing around your pupils, as you shuffle your cue cards, explaining the next segment of the show.

Out of the corner of your eye, you notice Taehyung’s adoring gaze, and you try to hold back your own smile, attempting to remain as professional as you can. You can’t help the small smile that twitches on your lips as the sight would be too adorable to behold.

Trying to hold back his own giggles, Jimin would lightly elbow him, in an attempt to stop him from staring so much.

“Tae,” Jimin whispers, trying to look natural while his giggles begin to escape, “You’re gonna creep her out with your staring.”

“Huh?” Taehyung snaps out of his trance, a dusty pink flushing his cheeks as he finally realises that he’s been staring so long, and that you likely noticed by now. He averts his eyes elsewhere, looking around the room, before his eyes come to rest on you again, and this time you’re the one staring, a grin on your face directed towards him. He feels his heart flutter, and returns the grin, making a note to approach you after the episode recording is done.


Jungkook:

Originally posted by hohbi

Jungkook would be a little restless as his group sat by yours, the distance a bit too close for his own comfort. While the rest of his group seem relaxed and engaged as always, Jungkook would struggle to sit still and composed, his eyes darting around as he tries to avert his attention away from you, sitting only a short distance away. He doesn’t know how to act around you, how to act normally, when you are igniting all sorts of feelings in him, when you are causing his heart to back flip in his own chest.

His eyes quickly slide over to glance at you, his heart once again jumping as he realises you’re looking over at him, giggling ever so slightly at his awkward composure. His eyes widen, and he looks away again, trying to focus on what the host is saying, hoping that the hosts won’t ask him a question in his flustered state.

“Jungkook,” the host says, smiling over at him. “What do you think?”

Jungkook looks up like a deer caught in headlights, his mouth opening to say something, and yet no words come out, as he realises he has no idea what the topic was.

Giggling, you lean over to discretely whisper to him, telling him what the topic was, and what they are trying to ask him. Jungkook sighs in relief, finally engaging in the conversation and answering the question as best as he can, the attention finally diverting away from him.

He smiles at you in gratitude, trying to ignore the butterflies in his chest, and you simply wink at him, grinning as you turn back to face the others, leaving Jungkook sighing in slight relief.  


archiveofourown.org
with quiet words I'll lead you in

More continuation of the slow burn langsty klance ask 8,^)
Chapters: 1/1
Author: strikinglight
Rating: Teen and Up Audiences
Warnings: none
Summary:
“You were screaming,” Keith tells him. “I heard you through the wall.”

That wall, Lance wants to point out, is supposed to be soundproof. It shouldn’t let you hear anything, no matter how hard you listen. What he says instead is “I can’t breathe.”

“Take it slow.” Keith’s voice is steady, but as Lance’s eyes struggle to focus his face is a blur. The image goes shaky and then comes clear, shaky then clear, like looking into water. “Pretend it’s low tide. Tell me about the ocean again.”

when that TF porn image went viral on twitter people were like “ugh this is an awful statement about women” and then when it turned out to be porn they were like “oh wait, its a J/O fantasy, not ideological, never mind lol”

and I think as a culture we’ve become so hesitant to criticize things that give people boners that we can’t acknowledge how the image is both very horny AND ideological

i mean come on, look at the terms invoked in the fetish: “bimboification” and “de-bimboification”. the thing was basically a modernized erotic remake of this old chestnut:

I do think this hesitance to criticize erotica stems from a good and well-meaning place, specifically arguments that have emerged in support of sex-work and gay rights– arguments that we can’t condemn or legislate against what consenting adults do, sex-ways. and this is a valuable principle!

but I don’t think it logically follows that we shouldn’t ever analyze erotic art or critique the messages disseminated therein; if we adopt that idea, we’re essentially creating an anti-discourse shield around anything that incidentally gets someone’s rocks off, and I don’t think that’s productive

this has been my thinkpost about the “de-bimboification” horny comic that went viral on twitter for some reason okay bye

The Signs As Quotes From Fanfictions
  • Aries: so will you explain why you're trying to end the world for no reason
  • Taurus: He doesn't understand why children are so tall these days. Whatever happened to good old dwarfism
  • Gemini: I see I've walked in on an extremely professional moment of conversation.
  • Cancer: Look at him changing subjects SO QUICK- THE FUCKING USAIN BOLT OF CHANGING SUBJECTS.
  • Leo: I don't know why I said dildo. Im sorry, okay? It was just the first thing that came to my mind
  • Virgo: I'm gonna be spending the rest of my life with a complete psycho goddammit
  • Libra: I won't let someone who talks in emoticons judge my grammars.
  • Scorpio: Well, in that case im a 46 y/o woman named Tigress looking for hot singles
  • Sagittarius: this is turning out to be a pathetic fart of a night
  • Capricorn: I hope your feet don't smell like expired ass
  • Aquarius: I don't trust anyone who puts coconut flakes on their hamburgers
  • Pisces: did u or did u not download weirdass foot porn on the studio's laptop I will pee on everything you love
Call Boy Winwin (Winwin x Reader)

AYYY WAZZZ UPPPPPP MY BABESSS!!!! I’m back and ready to make y’all bust A NUT! People said it wasn’t possible, Winwin, an angel, a precious baby, could never be a call boy. Well…listen up children: yOU CAN DO ANYTHING U SET UR MIND TO SO HERE WE ARE! I’m super proud of this one and happy how it turned out, so please ENJOY!!!

P.S. Winwin’s ears and lips were literally sculpted by god fite me in the quad

Originally posted by fairyprincewinwin

The popular cozy cafe was ridden with customers, leaving you squeezed in a corner on a fluffy cushion with your cup of tea in hand and balancing a book on your knee. Luckily you sat directly next to a big window, allowing you a view of the whole street, where fashionable young couples and groups of friends were strutting about hand in hand, arms looped together like destiny knots.


You sipped your chamomile, feeling unsatisfsfied with the bitterness of the drink. You had a sweet tooth like no other, preferring your herby drinks to be drowned in sugar. Tucking your book under your arm, you made your way over to a neat little table that held cream and sugar, decorated with sweet smelling flowers and vintage knick knacks.

You made a move for the sugar when a much larger hand knocked into your own, causing you to jump and apologize, spilling some of the tea down your hand with a yelp. You winced at the pain and finally looked up at the other person, “I’m so sorry! Please excuse-,” you quickly recognized that familiar gorgeous face and plump lips, “Winwin!”

He had on a concerned look, seeing the way your hand had turned an angry red, all splotchy and painful looking, “_______! Is your hand okay?”

“Oh,” you looked down at it with a blush, not believing your luck. You turned back to him with a sheepish smile, “It’s fine, I guess.”

He gave you a look, taking your book and cup from your hands and leading you over to the table where he was sat at, his things sprawled over the surface. He grasped your hand gently, lifting it up in the dim natural light to see what the damage was, “I’ll go ask for some ice. You should go to the bathroom and run your hand under some cold water while I’m doing that, okay?”

You flushed with embarrassment, as you mumbled your reply through red cheeks, “O-okay.”

You scurried off to the bathroom as the skinny dark haired boy walked over to one of the servers and asked if they could spare a bag of ice. You entered the restroom and turned on the brass faucet all the way to the coldest setting, gingerly sticking your hand under the freezing stream to relieve the pain. You stayed that way for a few minutes before you felt like you’d had enough of women walking in and giving you strange looks, returning from the bathroom to find Winwin had grabbed another chair and pulled it beside his, a respectable distance away.

You sat down, greeting him with another smile, “I got a bit tired of people giving me weird looks in the bathroom.”

He let out a small chuckle, an adorable little sound that seemed to match so well with his deep accented voice, “That’s okay, they managed to give me ice.” He reached for your hand again, looking up at you for permission with pink ears before you placed your hand in his, “Here, this should help a bit.” He pressed a plastic bag of ice wrapped in brown napkins to your hand, the cooling effect alleviating some of the pain.

“It’s not that bad,” you joked, covering your grin with your free hand. “I’ve burned myself worse on my curling wand, this is nothing.”

He laughed again, making your heart sing along to the sound, an addicting lilt you’re sure you could here for the rest of your life. You dared to look over at him, through a curtain of hair, “So…what’s my best friend doing at my favorite cafe?” You poked at his arm, “Last time we were here, I distinctly remember you saying something like, ‘This place is too crowded, I don’t like it.’”

As you mocked his voice, Winwin pouted, turning his gaze toward the window so you couldn’t see his blush, “W-well I just thought I would give it another try. Besides,” he countered, “they have the best coffee.”

“Fair enough,” you smiled, glancing down to where he softly cupped your hand in his. “It’s been awhile since we hung out, Winwin. I miss you, I’m a lonely hermit without you.” You tried to sound like you were joking, but truly, you missed him like a starfish missed the salty water of the sea.

He didn’t reply for a moment, hesitating, “I-I’ve been busy with work.” He lifted the ice pack, inspected your hand before replacing it, “I didn’t expect that I would barely get any free time,” he met your gaze, sincere, “I missed you too though.”

You blushed, trying to find something to say back, searching, “So how has your job been? Do you like it? What was it again…? A bellhop?”

Winwin nodded eagerly, “Yep. And you know it’s really interesting because I get to see so many fancy people, it’s crazy.”

“I’ll have to visit you sometime,” you smiled, rolling your eyes. “When I finally get paid that is.”

“Oh, yeah,” he seemed to remember something, looking interested. “How’s working at that bookstore going?”

“It’s nice,” you bit your lip. “But the old couple who run it always seem to forget to give me my paycheck…or actually write it at all.”

Winwin furrowed his brow, “Why don’t you say something, dummy?”

“Because I can’t seem to bring myself to do it,” you dramatically sighed, resting your chin in the palm of your hand. “They’re just so old, but really sweet. And sometimes I think they can’t understand a word I say at all.”

Winwin laughed, finally taking the ice pack off, looking satisfied at how much better your hand looked, “Well that stinks. At least your hand is better.”

“You should kiss it better,” you teased, half-joking, secretly half-serious. “Then I’ll feel completely healed,” you recovered by laughing obnoxiously loud. Nice one, you moron.

“O-oh, okay, I mean sure.” The dark haired boy stuttered, lifting your hand fluidly and gently pressing his plush lips to the back of your hand. He let them rest there for a second too long to seem more than friendly, allowing his lips the secret pleasure of just feeling you skin.

He blushed and pulled away, face completely red, “There, happy?”

“Y-yeah,” you mumbled, heart racing as you retracted your hand and pressed the back of it with your fingertips. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” he took a shaky breath and checked the time on his phone, nearly smacking himself as his dark eyes widened, “Shoot, I’m going to be late.”

“To what?,” you asked, curiosity bubbling up inside of you as you watched him gather his laptop and books, hands a flurry.

“To work,” he exasperated, slinging his bag on his shoulder. He murmured to himself, passing a hand through his hair, “They’re going to be so mad.”

“Get going then,” you smiled gently, tucking his phone into the back pocket of his pants. “And don’t forget to text me when you’re off so we can hang out again, okay?”

He managed a smile, his petal pink lips quirking, “Yes ma'am. See you later.”

“Bye,” you waved as he quickly walked away, weaving in and out of customers with his slim dancer body until he reached the door. You’d already turned away, so you didn’t see the way he looked back at you one more time, longingly, his eyes soft.

You looked down at your still pink hand, thinking of the way his lips had felt against it, a pang in your heart. Feeling like a love sick puppy, and an absolute loser, you pressed your lips to where his had been, pulling away only to wrap your arms around yourself sadly. How pathetic were you, to be the girl who falls in love with her best friend? But falling for Winwin was inevitable, you knew you felt something for him the day a mutual friend introduced you to one another.

You shook yourself, mad that you were so upset over something like this. But you couldn’t help it, you couldn’t deny your heart, that was foolish. So you packed your things up, needing council and comfort, you went to the one person who’s advice you held above all other’s.

~

You arrived at the chic apartment building, shiny and new, full of hip young people and newlyweds. You felt jealous and out of place as you passed all the couples holding hands, fingers itching to mimic the gesture, but grasping at empty air. You were grouchy after the elevator ride when you finally reached the sleek dark brown door of a certain apartment. You pressed the doorbell impatiently, hearing from the other side of the door shuffling footsteps walking over.

The door opened up to reveal the gentle dark eyes and strong jaw of Taeyong, a smile on his lips, “_______! You actually showed up.”

You scoffed, punching him in the arm as he snickered while you walked in, “Save it Taeyong, I’ve had a day.”

“'A day’?,” he wondered sarcastically, “Are you on your period or…?”

You flopped on the couch facedown, your voice muffled, “Oh my god, shut up. This is why I don’t come over here often.” You groaned into the downy cushion, “You just pick on and bully me.” Sitting up and looking around you asked him, “Where’s the girlfriend?”

“Yeah, yeah,” he rolled his eyes, making you scoot over so he could sit down too. “She’s at a…lesson right now. So what’s up? You seemed kind of upset on the phone.”

“I’m not upset,” you said, worrying at your bottom lip. “It’s just…I feel like Winwin doesn’t want to hang out with me anymore, that I make things awkward and-”

“_______,” the older boy interjected, “To Sicheng, you’re his universe, he practically revolves around you. Do you know how many time I’ve had to sit through him being a primadonna and whining about how he misses you-”

“Wait, what?,” you blubbered, turning your body to look directly at him, eyes wide.

Taeyong looked at you like you had grown two heads, “Yeah, you two are literal morons. He’s had the fattest crush on you since the moment I introduced you to him at my birthday party.” He smirked at you, poking you teasingly, “And we all know that little Miss here has had the hots for our resident prince since day one too.”

You blushed, happy but embarrassed by the fact that everyone could see Winwin’s feelings far more plainly than you. You picked at a loose thread on your sweater, quiet, “What should I do then? He’s always busy with work, being a bellhop of whatever it was-”

“A bellhop?,” Taeyong questioned, furrowing his eyebrows. “Sicheng doesn’t work at a hotel at all.”

You were taken aback, “What do you mean? He told me just today that he had to leave for work and that he was a bellhop at some hotel.” You felt betrayed, “He didn’t lie to me…did he? Why would he?”

Taeyong sighed, unsure of how to approach the subject, knowing fully well Winwin should be the one to tell you. After all, if Winwin wanted to date you, you were going to have to live with what he truly did for a living. The older boy placed a warm hand comfortingly on your shoulder, “_______, don’t blame him for lying to you. He just doesn’t want to disappoint you or scare you.”

“What?,” you replied, eyes full of confusion. “Taeyong, I really don’t understand-”

“Sicheng is a call boy,” Taeyong blurted out, eyes hard and gauging your reaction. “He’s a male prostitute.”

You felt your stomach drop, not expecting an answer like that at all. Quiet and sweet Winwin a sex worker? You couldn’t even fathom it.

“How?,” you quivered, hands shaking as you digested this new piece of information about your best friend.

“It’s not my business to tell you,” Taeyong murmured. “That’s Sicheng’s part to tell, I’m not going to steal it from him. Better to hear it from the horse’s mouth anyway.”

You bit your lip, nodding, looking down as your phone buzzed and reading the name of the subject of your conversation. It was Winwin, telling you he had nothing going on tonight, no work.

No work.

You don’t know why, but your fingers moved on their own accord, typing out a message asking Winwin if he wanted to hang out at your apartment later. You might as well get it over with, you thought. Better to have him hate you now, rather than later.

Winwin’s reply was fast, excited with many emojis as he said that sounded good.

See you then.

~

Your palms itched as you paced around your small apartment, talking to no one in particular as you reassured yourself, and maybe your house plants.

“Listen, ______,” you eased yourself onto your futon. “Being a…call boy doesn’t change who he is to you. He’s still Sicheng, still Winwin.”

Your mind just kept taking raking through memories of times you’d spent with him, searching for queues and indicators of his true feelings for you. You also thought of what might have prompted him to make such a drastic occupational decision, he seemed too…innocent for such a job. But according to Taeyong, Winwin had been going strong for a few months now, since he started his second semester at the university you both attended.

Lost in your thoughts, you barely heard the mechanical ding of the doorbell, nearly jumping out of your skin as it rang through your tiny abode. You stood quickly, “Coming!”

Patting down the comfy and loose dress you’d decided to wear before striding cautiously over to your front door, you nibbled nervously on your lip. You reached for the door, gingerly turning the handle and opening it to reveal the sweet smile of your best friend, “________.”

Seeing him almost made you forget everything, a smile mirroring his, “Winwin.” You held out your arms and he rolled his eyes, swooping you into his.

He held onto you, comically rocking you back into your apartment, “Been a while since I’ve seen your place, but you’re still a plant hoarder. Killed any of these ones yet?”

You playfully shoved him, shutting the door and crossing your arms, “Hey, those ones died because I bought them from some cheap convenience store.”

“Sure, if that’s what you want to call it,” he teased, shrugging off his coat and still observing your humble abode. “It’s really cute,” he mentioned, hanging his jacket next to yours and softly striding in. “Everywhere I look it’s you.”

“What?,” you blurted, snapping back to attention after dazing off staring at his strong looking back.

He chuckled, “I said you’re everywhere. This apartment really has your style.”

“Oh and what’s that?,” you countered, joking around as you plopped on the couch. “Messy?”

“No,” he pouted, collapsing next to you and stretching an arm on the back of the sofa. “It’s cozy and cute, just like you.”

You hoped the dim lighting of your living room hid your blush as you stuttered your thanks, “O-oh, thank you. I tried.”

Winwin smiled gently, but his face shifted and became more concerned, “_______, I’ve been wondering, are you doing okay?”

You were startled by his question, confused, “O-of course! I’m perfectly fine!”

You answered too quickly for his liking and he narrowed his eyes, “I’m serious. You can tell me anything.”

Your heart lurched, causing you to frown and furrow your brow, “But you can’t tell me anything? Winwin, trust is a two way street.”

It was his turn to look confused, “What do you mean? Did I do something wrong?”

You sighed, grasping his hand and giving it a tight squeeze, “No, it’s just…” You couldn’t find it in your heart of hearts to tell him, so you lied, “I just worry about you sometimes, that’s all.”

You gave him the best reassuring smile you could muster and he gave you a crooked one, relaxing his shoulders and murmuring, “You don’t need to worry about me, _______. You’re the one burning yourself on chamomile.”

You laughed lightly, and then it grew quiet again, like both of you knew what had just happened wasn’t real, a safe lie. Trying to lessen the tension you wiggled your cell phone, “Wanna order take out…?”

“God, more than anything,” Winwin breathed, snatching your phone from your hand and looking up your favorite restaurant, not even asking what you wanted to order before he called the place. He knew you all too well, and he saw through your lie.

You flipped on the television, finding one of those channels that played the same movie over and over for a whole day. Finding one you both liked that had just been released on dvd, you went to your closet and grabbed all the blankets and pillows you could carry. Winwin had already dimmed the room, letting the soft glow of one lamp and a few candles illuminate his face, making you completely stop where you stood. His tan skin looked golden in the light, and you could see the brown flecks in his dark hair, eyes reflecting the yellow light of the lamps. He looked so at ease, like this was the first time he had relaxed in weeks, and the bags underneath his eyes were indicators of that.

You felt a lump in your throat, realizing how much you’ve missed him, and how you wanted to make this night special for him, a night for him to just relax. You walked over and playfully dumped the soft blankets and pillows all over him from behind the couch, making him jump and reach over for you. Winwin pulled you over the couch and into his arms, tickling you furiously as you screamed with laughter, “S-Stop, W-Winwin…!”

He pouted as he stopped his assault, “That’s what you get, you know I don’t like being scared.”

You giggled softly, letting your head fall back against the pile of blankets as Winwin cradled you in his arms. The boy let the moment fade into silence, still not letting go as he gazed at you with longing, watching as your eyes fluttered closed and your chest still heaved from laughing. He wanted to tell you so badly, to let you know how he felt, how he had always felt.

He even wanted to tell you what you already knew.

He could ruin this friendship by confessing, or, if by some miracle you felt the same way, he would still have to deal with the fact that his job wasn’t one that appealed to most. He can’t even imagine how you could feel alone in bed, wondering who he was going to be fucking that night, where, and when he would come home. You would probably worry if he really did love you, or if you were just simply a distraction for him from his job.

But you were so much more to him, you were his best friend, and he could never cause you that much pain. He already lied to you, and now, Winwin already knew that you knew. You were trying your best to hide it, but he could tell that you were still struggling to accept that that was his reality.

Seeing you look so beautiful and at peace made his heart hurt, he wanted you to know. Maybe you would be able to accept, and maybe you would be able to be with him. In that moment, Winwin realized if he didn’t tell you how he felt and what he did, he would regret it for the rest of his life.

Taking a deep shaky breath, Winwin’s perfect lips parted gently, “_______.”

“Hm,” you hummed, eyes still closed and your body still relaxed.

“Look at me,” he murmured, allowing you to sit up and move out of his lap. “Please.” Brow furrowing, you did as he asked, pulling one of the blankets into your lap for some semblance of comfort as your heart raced.

“There’s something I need to tell you,” he swallowed, eyes reaching yours for a split second before darting down to his hands. “I should have told you weeks ago, but I was so afraid. I was so scared of losing you that I lied, and only to you.”

Winwin looked up at you again, dark eyes hard with shame and fingers clenching, “I’m a call boy, _______. A male prostitute.”

You blinked, swallowing painfully as you realized that this was reality and everything Taeyong had told you had just been confirmed.

“I didn’t know.”

“You knew,” he murmured, eyes turning downcast, ashamed. “You just didn’t believe it.”

“What do you want me to say Winwin?,” you murmured, reaching out to cradle his head against your chest. “I realize now that you haven’t changed, you’re still Winwin to me, no matter what you do for a living or what lifestyle you choose to have. You’re still my Winwin, okay?”

You heard him give a shaky breath, sniffling once as he brought up a hand to wipe his eyes. You couldn’t stop what came pouring from your mouth next. If now was the time to confess all harbored secrets, you had to tell him yours too.

“And you already know something too, Winwin. You’ve probably known for so long and I must look like an idiot for never telling you-”

Your words were cut off as Winwin lifted his head and cupped your cheeks, placing his perfect mouth on yours without a sound. Your eyes were wide with shock, hands shaking as you gripped the blanket, could this really be happening…?

Your thoughts were confirmed when he began to move his lips against your, kissing you tentatively at first. You let your eyes close, senses heightened as your fingers released the blanket in your lap and found his thick hair. His kisses grew more confident, breathing in such a way through his nose that your heart thudded in your chest as you realized what you meant to him.

Winwin kissed you fiercely, gasping as he dragged your bottom lip with his teeth and drew you into his lap. You straddled him confidently, never wanting to be so close to someone before and feel all of them, every touch, smell, and taste. Your friend slowly pulled away, lips lingering on yours as one of your hands came up to feel how hard his heart was beating through his endearing pink sweater.

His breath ghosted across your lips, as he gave a tentative smile, “I didn’t know.”

“You knew,” you repeated his words from earlier, though they were filled with joy and mirrored his shy smile. “You just didn’t believe.”

“But I do now,” he murmured, already leaning in and pulling you impossibly closer.

“But you do now,” you whispered right before he swallowed you whole again, his hands already wandering to places you had only dreamed of him touching.

The wet sounds of your kisses made you moan quietly against his lips, never having kissed someone who was so good at it before. Winwin was a natural, and no wonder he found a talent for sex, because your panties were already beginning to dampen from under your loose dress. You couldn’t help the way your hips started to move against him, body naturally seeking a way to feel more, and to make him feel good as well.

He gasped from the sensation, prying your mouth open with his tongue and ravaging you with it. He tasted like caramel coffee and cream, so addicting that you rubbed your tongue against his in order to taste more. He pulled away and chuckled, hands on your hips and still allowing you to grind softly against him, “Taste good?”

You nodded, biting your lip shyly as you slowed your roll and mumbled, “Sorry, I didn’t mean-”

“Stick out your tongue,” he whispered gently, a smile on his plump lips and a thumb running soothingly on your hip.

You did as you were told, mouth open and tongue out as you wondered what he could possible be wanting to do to you, not that you were complaining. You were surprised and so incredibly turned on when his own tongue came out and swirled around yours, pulling it into his mouth and sucking on your wet muscle sensually. You could taste the caramel and the sweetness of the cream even better as your eyes fluttered close and you moaned loudly. Your hands found his sweater, grasping onto it tightly as your hips increased their pace again, loving the way his rough jeans rubbed your clit through your panties. Your dress had completely ridden up your hips, and Winwin’s hands couldn’t help grasping your thighs and squeezing them with a groan.

And just like that, Winwin pulled his mouth away, looking at you through his lust with serious dark eyes, “_______, we don’t have to, not today.”

You sobered up quickly, looking directly back at him with a clear mind, “I want to, Winwin. I want you.” You grabbed one of his hands and squeezed it gently, bringing it up to kiss his fingertips as you added, “Please.”

His lips parted and he smirked shyly, looking so cute and hot at the same time that you wanted to throw yourself off a building, “Okay, but I’m not going to fuck you, I’m tired of fucking.” He kissed your nose softly, resting his forehead against yours, “I’m going to make love to you, and you’re going to be my first and only.”

Your heart swelled as you kissed his cheek, pulling him into a hug as he stood up with your legs wrapped around his waist. You buried your face into his neck, realizing you wanted loving Winwin more than lustful Winwin. He carried you to your bedroom, letting just the glow of the moon and the city light his path as he laid you down carefully.

He crawled over your body, slipping your dress higher and higher until it was over your head and somewhere on the floor. He left a trail of kisses over your stomach, the deep hum of his voice soothing against the skin, “I never really enjoy it,” he said, reaching behind and undoing the clasp of your bra, “Fucking, I mean. It’s too…detached and unfeeling.”

He continued, your chest arching into him as he massaged your breasts, “You may feel everything that’s happening…the touches,” he leaned down and took one of your peaks into his mouth, releasing it with a pop. “The hands, the fingers,” he reached and tugged your panties down your thighs, fingertips dragging over your skin before grazing over your dripping core. “But that’s not really feeling, is it?”

You mewled as his thumb rubbed your clit generously, swallowing your moans with his mouth, “N-no.”

“Feeling are those touches,” he murmured against your lips. “But with someone you love.”

He stilled his hand, and you ceased your sounds of pleasure, watching as he looked down at you with eyes clouded with adoration. You smiled, brushing his hair from his forehead, “Are you saying you love me right now?”

Winwin blushed, hand retreating from your wet heat, “Y-yes.”

“Don’t,” you grabbed his hand, bringing it back to your lower lips and helping him insert a finger. “Show me.”

You tentatively reached down and began to rub him through his jeans, “And I’ll show you.”

It was a switch, from a shy boy with a crush, to a man who wanted nothing more than to worship your body and feel everything with you. He quickly rid himself of his sweater and you watched as goosebumps raised over his tan skin, fingertips arching across his chest. He shivered and pumped his fingers in and out of you at a steady pace, his cock aching to feel the slickness that his fingers felt.

No words passed between the two of you, touches and looks told everything as Winwin removed his pants, watching with a small smirk as you gazed at his member. He felt confident, wanting to ask just once, “Am I what you expected?”

You gulped, sitting up to push him onto his back, as you murmured in reply, “You’re what I want.”

Winwin groaned as you stroked his cock languidly, enjoying the sensation of his veins and the slickness of his precum. Feeling adventureous and eager to please, you let your lips wrap around the tip, letting go only to place a long kiss on it. The boy let his head roll back, a hand weaving gently into your hair, cursing as you took him in. Your head bobbed quickly, feeling his thighs tense beneath you as he whined, “______, I want to come with you, please stop…!”

You gave him one last long suck, releasing him with a pop and a trail of saliva on your lips. You moved over him, scared for a moment at what this all meant. You were sleeping with your best friend, a call boy, who are trained to make a woman think she’s their entire world, just so they can make a buck. Winwin saw the panic in your eyes and rolled you over, pressing your bodies together so you only felt him. His voice was hard, but his eyes were soft, “Stop. I know what you’re thinking and it’s not true.”

He leaned down and kissed you chastely, tucking your hair behind an ear, “I’m not here as Sicheng the call boy, _______. I’m here as Winwin, your Winwin, who was a stupid lovesick idiot the moment he laid eyes on you.”

“Do you really love me?,” you choked out, wiping away the tears that spilt softly down the sides of your face. The unconfident girl inside of you longed for him to scream yes, to reassure your thoughts and hopes.

Winwin cupped your cheek, forcing you to look directly into his gentle brown eyes, “______, you won’t ever know how much I love you. I can only dream about you seeing yourself the way I see you.”

He leaned down and sealed his words with a kiss, making you smile against his lips as happy tears escaped your eyes now. You shifted your hips, indicating that you were ready for him, and he responded in kind. Gently parting your legs, he positioned his member above your entrance, looking you in the eyes as he slid into you with almost no hindrance. It was like you had found the missing half of yourself for the first time, the feeling of him sheathed inside of you.

And perhaps you did find your other half in that moment.

Winwin let out a sigh of relief, gaze still trained on your face as he allowed you to adjust and make the first movement of your hips. You gasped, rolling yourself up to meet him, feeling the way he rubbed and slid past your walls over and over. It was intoxicating and beautiful to see the look of sheer love and adoration on his face, all for you to kiss and mirror.

Without a word, you silently passed the reigns of power over to him, allowing him to set the pace and take control. His movements were passionate and precise, making you feel as though you were moving with him as one, not two bodies. He bent down and buried his face into your neck, leaving kisses and whispering your name with hot breath, the mantra slipping past his lips without a break. A hand slipped down to stroke your sensitive bud, rubbing in the same rhythm as his hips, heightening your feeling of pleasure.

“Winwin,” you moaned softly, addicted to the sound of his skin slapping against yours and of his gasps as he sped up, close to his high.

His thrusts became more erratic, choppier and, for a split second, animalistic as he rutted into you and rubbed your clit to completion. The two of you cried out each other’s names, hips still frantic as you savored the feeling of euphoria at the same time as one another. Winwin rubbed you until your thighs shook from overstimulation, wanting nothing more than to see to it that you felt your fair share of pleasure. Your head rolled back and you squeezed your eyes shut, fisting the sheets as he slowly finished his assault on your sensitive bud.

He pulled out carefully, but not careful enough to catch the seed that spilled from your heat and onto the sheets. He smiled gingerly, but you just waved away his worries by pulling him down for a kiss, dragging him to lay beside you in the moonlit room.

You watched the reflection of yourself and the moon in the dark pupils of his eyes, and he in yours. True love was beheld by the two of you as you stared into each other’s reflections both ways. He pulled you close, body tucking against his in such a perfect way you could weep at the feeling. He smiled contently and kissed your forehead, tucking you beneath his chin and humming softly as his eyes slid close.

Drowsiness slowly pulled you down into her warm embrace, but the only touch you felt was Winwin’s. You waited until it seemed like he would fall asleep before kissing his lips tenderly and whispering, “I love you too.”

WTNV - Who should you fight?[Long version]

Cecil: Insult Carlos and you’re blacklisted forever. Will most likely say mean things about you over the radio and make sure everyone hates you. May or may not imply you’re doing illegal things in hopes you’ll get re-educated.

Carlos: WHY??? He’s so pure??? Do you just like hate science and want to see a cute man cry?? Monster.

Old woman Josie: Erika Squad will defend her. They will beat your ass and not gaf. She’ll knit a sweater for your corpse.

Tamika: Which book do you want imprinted into your skull? 

Kevin: I dunno man I mean he decorates his studio with blood and at least once that blood was that of several grown men that could have out muscled him but somehow didn’t. Good luck I guess? Try get him whilst he sleeps. If he sleeps.

Lauren: Apparently her weakness is books and she doesn’t have Strex behind her now so please, do : )

Dana: Do not be fooled by her adorable voice, she will wreck you. She has seen some shit man, she had been through too much and will dispatch your ass without thought.

Steve: Will probably let you win unless you insult his family. Compliments you on how well you decked him so you feel encouraged. Beating him will leave an eternal pit of sadness in your stomach.

Station Management: ???????????? hope there’s enough left of you to have a funeral with.

Earl: He’s a scout and a chef. He will go Hannibal Lecter on your sorry ass. This town is full of people that fight to the death every day and he was trained as a child to do this. Although if you remind him of how depressing his life is he’ll probably just sit and cry lmao

Computer: It’s a machine and you could literally beat it by picking it up and dropping it. Well done, you just robbed a child of her first/only friend, you monster.

Faceless old woman: Can’t hit what you can’t see lol

Hiram: L I T E R A L  F I V E  H E A D E D  D R A G O N

Roger Harlan: I mean he’s like eight so it’s an easy win but would you feel good about it?

Glow Cloud: Foolish creature how dare you try and strike the almighty Glow Cloud. That which rules over us all. That which knows all, that which is all. ALL HAIL. ALLL HAIIILL.

The Beagle:  ẃ̲̞̠ͅh̸̡̥̹̫͇̻͍̱̯̰͎̪͇̦̺̟̯͍͢͡ó̸̸̮̮̬̗͘͠s̩͕̝̩͍̕͡͝͞ͅ ҉̸̣̖̣̣̦̲̲̜̗̞̘̗̕͞ͅa͇̜͇̹̱͜͠ ̛̱̳̱͓͖͍̻̜̼̰̖̻̯͝ͅg̝͓̲̘̙͈̳͇̙̩̖͝o̷̹̣̤̱͟o̴̧̙̜̞̦͙̼̩͍̤͍͡d̵̵̢̗͖̯͈̪̻̗̫̝̘̩̣̹̦̺͎̕͟ ̢̘̣̲͖̜̤̻͙͙̘̘̼̪͕͚̣̕͘͡ḅ̸̶̰̤̳̲̬̥͍̩͓̰̼̪̰̣̝͖̤͟͠͞o҉̛̹͈͚̤̲̙̦̝̖̪͡y̶̨͖̘̖̳̗̜̣͚̦̼̞̘͈̯͍͝ͅ?

2

4.19.17 //
gays in a church

I wish I was an ostrich ✘ Sebastian Smythe Imagine (Smut) ✘

✘ A/N: I’M BACK! Finally post something again o/ 

I explained what happened in my last post, in case you missed it, a little summary: problem with the loader, school took my time, finally posting the old requests and starting to write the new ones, hopefully, wednesday (so, no promises to write and pos a new request before Wednesday). But you can still request!

Oh, and I’m kind in love with Savitar. (and nope, I don’t want Iris to die t.t).

I have to say, I wasn’t expecting this one to be that long!

Well. MY FIRST SMUT, YAY! Hope you like it c:

Thanks @lyss-91 for beta!

✘ Request: Could I have a Sebastian imagine please where you are a member of new directions and are competing at Nationals and fuck before the main show getting caught by your group? Thanks x

 Warning aka disclaimer: S M U T and shame xD

Originally posted by grantsass

 “I can’t believe you said I was as attuned as a dying goat.” You giggled as you entered the dark room, knowing that Sebastian was already there, he always arrived before you on any date. Mainly a sex date. “You used to do better with your insults, Sebastian.”

“Says the girl who called me horse’s teeth. You were so original, (Y/N). What happened to stealing Santana’s insults?” Sebastian said wryly and you rolled your eyes, little taunts like these were normal in your secret relationship, and they were actually fun. But now all you wanted was not to talk. You raised your arm to try to find the switch and turn on the light, you didn’t know what that was since Sebastian was the one to send a message saying that he had found the perfect place for both of you to wish each other good luck, which obviously meant the perfect place for him to fuck you, and sent you the way. 

He could have added an ‘after you turn right in the last hallway, you will see a green door where everything will be dark and I will not let you turn on the light, making you sexually frustrated’ because Sebastian held your hand before you could do anything to illuminate the place.

“Seb!” You protested, but any complaint you had in mind was soon replaced by your body bristling and your breath being gasped as you felt his body pushing yours against the wall: strong enough for a mute thud, weak enough for no pain to arrive. “Sebastian…” Your tone had completely changed from frustration to bargaining.

Sebastian laughed against your neck, and his breath, which you knew had a taste of coffee and mint, as always, against your skin made you sigh.

“When you get up on that stage, everyone will look at you and no one will know that you are mine, and they will want you.” Sebastian’s hands traveled to your waist, squeezing it, making sure you were there with him, listening to every syllable he said. “But you’ll know you are mine, and I’ll make sure to make that clear.” He smiled with obvious malice and a kind of anticipated lust. Sebastian put one of his hands on your thigh and up, the fact that you were in a dress just made it easier for him to work. You could already feel wet, as by the words of your ‘enemy’ as the tingling that his fingers provided, and the torture that was how slowly they were going. He pulled your panties away with one of his fingers “You’re so wet, babe,” Sebastian murmured as as he placed two fingers inside you at once, and you bit your lip to choke out a moan as he placed another finger, moving them inside you.

“Sebastian…” You moaned softly, knowing that Warbler knew exactly what that meant.

“What, darling?” He said, faking an innocent tone as he began stroking your clit with his thumb, still moving his 3 fingers inside your pussy. You let out an almost “ah” and pressed your body forward, feeling his erection against your body and making his fingers go even deeper, making it turn to his time to moan instead. You took off his tie and threw it to the floor, putting your hands around his neck.

“Seb, please. I need you now.” You lowered one hand to his arousal, caressing it over his pants.Sebastian growled and used every willpower inside him to pull away from you, taking off his clothes as fast as was humanly while you did the same. In the exact second that you let your last piece of clothing fall to the floor, he picked you up and put it on what looked like a table.

“Oops!” You laughed at the sound of something falling, but your attention soon changed focus as your boyfriend began to suck your neck. ‘’You’ll end up leaving a mark.’’ You warned, not really complaining.

“That’s the goal,” Sebastian said as he parted his mouth from her neck and you took his cock in your hand, stroking it. “Fuck ,” Sebastian snarled and walked away from you to put the condom he had left in the pocket of his blazer, the Warbler couldn’t stand another minute without fucking you.

“SEBASTIAN!” You screamed in pleasure when felt him inside you without any warning. Sebastian started fucking you, moving his hips quickly as you did the same, making him go deeper, just like you did with his finger. You leaned in for a rough, clumsy kiss, the two showing how much they needed that, each other’s, your bodies together.

While his hands tightened your hips, your hands scratched at his shoulders, your lips were connected just like the rest of your bodies, you realized something: you were completely at the mercy of that boy. 

“(Y/N)… ” Sebastian gave a weak moan against your lips and you knew what that meant, and you were close too. Before any of you could catch up the liberation, the light was turned on. You closed your eyes, no time for a reaction, but Sebastian bent down and grabbed his blazer, covering his ass, taking his cock off you and using his own body to cover you. A voice screaming the word traitor made you wake up from your trance, widening your eyes at the sight of the New Directions staring at you two.

Being an ostrich to stick your head into a hole didn’t seem like a bad idea.

“Um… Hi?” You said, feeling your face burn. You were NAKED in front of your Glee group!

‘’Hi? Seriously, (Y / N)? “ Mercedes was the first to speak.

"You could give your beloved virgin vagina to anyone, but you had to choose our gay enemy?” Santana said angry, almost screaming. You were afraid Snixx would come at any moment, if it was not the one who had just spoken.

“I don’t think he’s gay, Santana.” Rachel said, and then you noticed that she had her back to your and Sebastian’s… situation.

“Can you guys please get dressed?” Kurt basically begged.

“Well, if the idiots get out of here, we can finish what we were doing and get dressed.” Sebastian rolled his eyes at that vision, even though, in the position they were in, he could only see some of the members with his head turned.

“I’m not leaving here until you two explain what’s going on!’’ Santana exclaimed, she was 100% sure that wasn’t going to let you and your need for sex take her and New Directions trophy.

’'Santana, I know you would give anything to be in my place now, but this is my girlfriend. ” Sebastian mocked.

“Girlfriend?” Tina asked confused, hadn’t Sebastian hit on Blaine before almost blinded him? Wasn’t he gay?

“(Y/N) has a penis? ” Brittany asked, trying to understand what was going on.

“No, all she has is the ability to betray her own friends right under their noses.” Santana said, her irony and coldness taking form into her words.

“Guys, we’re dating, but can’t we talk about this later?” You asked, you just wanted that situation to end.

“That would be hilarious… if it was not disgusting.” That was Sam.

“Right, people. We should leave them alone.” Blaine tried, but it was obvious that Santana was not going to let a situation like this go easily.

“You’re what, a spy? Did you give our songs to him? Besides giving something else.”

“She’s not a spy, Satan.” Sebastian defended you and you sighed, knowing you would have to reveal your relationship to your friends who did not so discreetly hate your boyfriend.

Actually, your relationship was more than exposed. So…

“I think you blinded her, Sebastian.” Santana smiled wryly at the double meaning of the phrase.

“What are you… Wow!” Mr. Schuester widened his eyes as he met his students in such a situation. He turned his back, just like Rachel. “E… Everyone back to rehearsal room, let’s (Y/N) and Sebastian get ready.”

“But M…’’

’'Now, Santana!” Will ordered, and she rolled her eyes, walking into the dressing room with her teacher and the rest of the Glee Club.

You put your forehead against Sebastian’s shoulder and sighed, still embarrassed and knowing what you would have to face in less than five minutes.

“I’m fucked.’’ You said and Sebastian smirked, never losing his humor.

’'Literally.”

Wrapped Around Her Finger

Pairing: Reader x Dean

Warning(s): None, slight AU

Word Count: 934

Prompt: 47. “Are your nails painted?’

A/N: This one is so fluffy, I love imagining the boys as fathers, I think they’d make the best dads. 



“I’m home!” You yell, closing the door tiredly behind you. You’d been called into the office unexpectedly this afternoon, so what was supposed to be a day spent at home with your family turned into a hectic day of trying to help out your co-workers before they all drowned under the amount of work they had to do.

“MUMMY!” Your 4 year old daughter ran to the door to greet you, leaping into your arms. “Hey Olive, what are you still doing up?” You question your daughter. It was 10 o’clock, and she was normally in bed well before this. You look at her face and see that she must have been giving herself a makeover, as she had baby blue eyeshadow poorly smeared onto her eyelids and pink on her lips and the surrounding area. She nods her head in response, looking slightly guilty as she rests her head on your shoulder. “Me and daddy were having so much fun though.”

At this, your very sheepish looking husband walks around the corner. Dean was dressed in sweats and a plain grey shirt, and you were in wonder how he always looked good, even when he wasn’t trying. “Hey babe,” he gives you a quick peck on the lips, to which Olive makes her disgust well known before you head into the lounge. There were toys strewn all over the floor, looking like she had gotten out every single plaything she owned and thrown it around the room.

“Wow, you and daddy really were having fun huh?” You give Dean a pointed yet amused look, to which he shrugs and grins at you. “Well first we were playing hungry hippos, then the princesses at the castle needed our help, and then we were doing makeovers, you know how it is. So much to do so little time.” You laugh at his exaggeration and look to see that Olive’s breathing was getting heavier and her eyes were shut. “Get her to bed and I’ll clean up in here,” he states. You raise your eyebrows in questions, to which he nods affirmatively.

You get a facecloth and wipe Olive’s makeup off of her face, much to her displeasure and get her into pyjamas. You tuck her into bed and Dean comes in to say goodnight. “Can I have a bedtime story mummy?” She asks you, even though she’s fighting to keep her eyelids open. “I think it’s probably for the best if you just go to sleep baby,” which causes an instance pout to form on her face.

“Oh c’mon, one story couldn’t hurt,” Dean says. You can’t help but smile as you turn to look at him. “You cannot say no to that girl, can you?” You whisper to him, making him smile in response. “Babe… How could you say no to that face?” You laugh and turn to kiss your daughter on the head. “Daddy’s gonna read you a story, I’ll see you in the morning.” You exchange ‘I love you’s’, and as you exit the room you hear Dean begin to read her favourite, Thumbelina.

You get ready for bed, and once you’re done you walk to stand at the entrance of Olive’s room. She was fast asleep, and you assumed she fell asleep as soon as Dean had started to read to her. Dean remained by her sleeping form, humming something softly to himself as he gently stroked your daughter’s forehead. You stood there watching him for several minutes, your heart swelling at the sight before your eyes.

Eventually Dean stands to leave, smiling when he sees you at the door, walking towards you and shutting her door behind him. You smile up at him and he wraps his arms around you, engulfing your body in his own in a much needed embrace. “Busy day?” He enquires, causing you to laugh. “No busier than the day you’ve had,” you say in comment of the state of the house. He chuckles at your statement and pulls away from you slightly so that he place a tender kiss on your lips.

He reaches up to stroke the side of your face, but a flash of colour makes you grab it before he can. “Are your nails painted?” You ask incredulously, grabbing his other hand to examine them. In fact, they were painted. Dean had blue, yellow and pink nail polish smeared on his nails and a lot of the surrounding skin as well. You laugh and look up at him, him laughing along with you, looking slightly embarrassed. Your husband was always so masculine, you never could have imagined him letting anyone do anything like this to him.

“Well, she’d already done hers and she wanted to keep painting nails,” he states matter-of-factly, only causing you to giggle more. “You really don’t know how to say no to that girl do you?” You say with a shake of your head. He shakes his head in agreeance with you.

“I never thought I’d see the day a woman would get the best of me, but she has me wrapped around her finger.” Your laughter dies off and you look at the kind face of your husband, the one who had given you a family and made your life feel complete. “Well… her and one other.” He finishes, to which you lightly slap his arm for being so cheek.

“I love you,” he says, his green orbs making your stomach flutter just like the day you’d first met. “I love you too.” Your lips meet again, but you can’t hold back a smile for this one.

Okay (Tom x FemReader) Fluff

Originally posted by peterparkerimagine

(( Gif not mine - dang he cute tho ))

(A/n): So so so so I changed the request a bit so that the reader and Tom aren’t actually dating yet but it’s okay because I think it turned out fine

Request: Greetings my dear, I’m wondering if you have time that is if I could send in a request? Tom Holland x reader, where reader and Tom are dating but reader is younger like 18 or 19. And Tom sometimes feeling that he’s too old for her and just some reassuring fluff please :)

Warnings: Swearing ??? Fluff dude

_____

“So but like, are you gunna’ do anything about it, kid?” Robert pondered.

I don’t know!” Tom cried, throwing his arms up. He was now second guessing harbouring his secret in the Robert Downey, for all the wrong reasons.

The young brunette sighed in frustration and collapsed his gaze to the floor. “I kinda’ don’t want to do anything about it..” he mumbled.

Robert laughed and formed an ‘O’ with his mouth. He strut over to Tom so he could pat his back. “Well son, you came to the right place.” he grinned “Uncle Rob has got you covered.”

The brit’s face twisted in misunderstanding, lifting his head to show it to Robert.

“I don’t know, boy, I don’t know.” Rob sighed and stood straight “So, um, why aren’t you just telling her straight forward again?” he asked and began to pace around Tom.

Tom couldn’t help but let a sound of anguish slip his lips. Even he didn’t know what he was thinking, but he was stubborn.

“I’m like twenty and she’s what? Just turned eighteen?”

Rob choked on a laugh “So?” he turned towards Tommy and snickered quaintly “That’s like, what? Two years?”

“Exactly! It’s weirdddd. Why do I have to like her?”

Robert’s eyes looked intently at Tom’s form sitting on a prop box.

The cast was on break, most of the cast, because you were filming a scene with Anthony right now. Tommy found this to be a perfect time to ask Robert about his little (big) crush on you and how he should act on it.

“Well that’s simple,” Rob said and smiled; beginning to pace circles around the young brit “because she’s very smart. Her brains are unmatchable. She has really, almost glowing eyes. A beautifully perfect fit for her face, if I say so. (Y/n) is also really fucking funny and honestl–”

“Alright, I got it!” Tom sneered, glaring at Robert. Jealousy. “So what?”

“Once she gets done, in twenty two seconds, tell her.” Robert smirked, stopping in place. He was quite sure of himself.

Hell no–” 

“Hey Tom! Rob~” you waved.

“Holy shit…” Tom muttered.

“More like,” Robert snickered “Ah shit!” he exclaimed as he stumbled a bit toward Tom, knocked him off his box and into a standing position “Sorrryyy Tommy! Didn’t actually see you there, ha ha. I’ll have to go now, I hear, like, god calling; I need to pray. Adios!!”

And then Rob left the room.

“Idiot.” you laughed and walked a bit toward Tom. “What’s up with him?”

“O-Oh like he said. Needs to pray.” Tommy laughed quietly “Pray that I don’t kill him and everything he loves.”

“Hm?” you hummed and tilted your head up to look into his chocolate eyes.

“Oh nothing~” the brunette said.

“You kinda’ look like you have something to say…” you laughed.

Tom took one deep breath and you prepared yourself to listen; smiling to yourself kindly.

“That you are really really fucking pretty and nice and kind and I like your acting style and the way you do your hair and that you are almost sassy but also considerate and that you can help people without even saying anything and really just that–”

You couldn’t help you eyes widening in internal shock as the brit ranted on; smile faltering. Apparently Tom saw that as a sigh you thought he was insanely stupid for feeling the way he was.

“Oh my– I’m really sorry. I know I’m like twenty and you just turned eighteen but… but like, I have this like…. I’m sorry..” his look fell to the floor, eyes misty.

A hearty laugh bellowed from your throat before you noticed he was going to cry.

“Oh my god, Tom!” your hands flew to his cheeks, panicky. You drew his head to look at your face. “No, no don’t cry! You’re okay, this is fine, you aren’t weird for this.” you explained softly.

Tom sniffed a bit. “Really…?”

“Yes, it isn’t weird that you are twenty and I’m eighteen. Two years could mean jack shit to me.” you went to pepper his face with small kisses, landing one softly on his lips.

“This is okay.”

_____

(A/N): This seems short to me lmao I think this is okay