this is so gay i need to stop doing this

anonymous asked:

I'm super ashamed and embarrassed of being/identifying as bisexual because of all the biphobia I've witnessed. It's really fucking with my mental health and idk what to do. It's to the point where I just want to identify as straight, but I know that giving into biphobia and heteronormativity aren't the answer. I'm just lost. Our sexuality is always trivialized and I can't complain about it without being mocked. How do you guys deal with this?

I feel this. Biphobia is the largest cause of creating what is known as The Silent Majority - Bisexuals being the largest percentage of queer people and yet the most misrepresented.

I deal with it by surrounding myself with people who accept Bisexuals, people who cheerlead Bisexuals, and people who love me for me and for my Bisexuality. Aside from it being a good way to maintaining a positive self-image in regards to your own personal Bisexuality, it’s a good rule to live by in general. I also deal with it by educating and stepping in when I see Biphobia.

Spreading information to those otherwise unaware to Bi stigma helps! That’s why it’s always important, for those who aren’t Bi and care, to be a good Bi ally and educate people on the effects of Biphobia, including studies showing, for example, Bisexuals suffering from more mental health issues like depression and anxiety than their Gay/Lesbian counterparts. When we see biphobia existing in general cishet society (where we’re facing homophobia on top of biphobia) we turn to our safe spaces, our queer spaces, but in our safe spaces as well we’re not as safe as we should be. We desperately need these spaces especially since studies show Bisexuals face more sexual violence than their Gay/Lesbian and Straight peers. So when this support system we should have gets taken away for who we are - that’s Biphobia. And it does real actual harm towards Bisexuals. 

“No one is hanging you for being Bi, Biphobia isn’t a thing!” well that’s the interesting part! In addition to dealing with Biphobia, which has its own ugliness as briefly mentioned, Bisexuals also deal with homophobia! (internally and externally, as previously mentioned). So in these moments, when we retreat to our safe spaces to recoup, and we’re forced to behave differently or be not what we truly are, or constantly questioned in regards to the validity of who we are, it does damage! It’s a cycle of violence and further reinforces this notion that, in LGBTQ+ spaces - despite being a very present letter in the acronym, queerness is conditional instead of something inherent. Bisexuality is inherently queer, has its own unique queer experiences, is a marginalized identity through and through, deserves better treatment, and deserves equal support. 

This being said, cause these things need to be said, understanding that these concepts are present and being able to live a happy life are possible. What helped me out of my internalized biphobic/homophobic rut was coming to terms with the fact I wanted to be happy. My bisexuality wasn’t going to change, so I knew the only thing to do at that point was to accept it and learn to love it. There are also SO many Bisexual allies out there! The real world isn’t Tumblr discourse 24/7 I promise you and I can’t tell you how many times my gay and lesbian friends stop me whenever I start thinking biphobicly and step in to reinforce I’m queer and worthy. Bisexuality is beautiful. Your bisexuality is beautiful. It may be hard right now but I promise you it does get better.

Using The Word "Sinning" Isn't Wrong

I feel like I need to clear something up. I see all these posts like “stop using sinning and saying u need Jesus when talking about gay ships. It’s homophobic” blah blah blah
I know not every shipper sees it the way I do, but I feel many others might, so let me try to explain right quick. We don’t use the word “sinning” to describe these otps because they’re GAY, we use it because the situation that we have put that particular otp in is incredibly sexual and sometimes disgusting. It has 0 to do with the sexuality or gender of the ship. Good lord, I once read a fic of my gay otp where one of them put a banana in the others ass while having sex (years ago, I was reading a lot of weird shit). Calling something sinning or saying “I need Jesus” when referring to a ship has fuck all about them being gay. It’s the incredibly graphic sexual situation we put them in that is the “sinning” part. If I read the stories I do now with straight ships, I’d still comedically call it sinning because of how vivid and graphic the sex is in these fics. If I were to watch a straight couple where one of them paddled the other one on the ass then proceeded to tie them to a bed post and fuck the day lights out of them while they were gagged, I would still end that with “Holy shit, I need Jesus.” Why the fuck do you think pictures or fics about two dudes cuddling is not tagged sinning??
We ship these ships because we love and believe in them. What, do you think we ship them, but then secretly we’re like “yeah these two are a beautiful couple, BUT THEY’RE SUCH SIN OMG THIS IS GROSS AND DISGUSTING I CANT BELIVE THIS.” I can guarantee, that is not the case. The “sinning” term is just our way of trying to convey that what we are reading is intensely graphic, so please stop making it seem like this term has anything to do with sexuality when IT DOESN’T. AT ALL.

My parents think I only watch shows with gay characters in it, so I thought I’d do a little experiment and go through my Netflix cue, picking out T.V. shows with LGBT characters.

The Fosters - I have no excuses for this one.
How to get away with Murder - that one just showed up, I swear.
Glee - okay we all knew this one was coming, stop acting like it’s a surprise. Why do I need to defend myself? Maybe I just love Grease.
Quantico - technically that guy wasn’t actually gay, and I in no way made him my favorite character because I thought he was gay. I’d never do such a thing.
Lost Girl - let’s be honest, this show is on there because Anna Silk is a goddess.
Grey’s Anatomy - just showed up as well. And also that in no way made Callie one of my favorite characters…
American Horror Story - who doesn’t watch American Horror Story? I don’t even need to explain myself.
Supergirl - can we all just say, Alex is the cutest little baby gay to grace our screens.
Orange is the New Black - honestly, yeah, I watch this cause it’s hella gay. I’m not ashamed.
Faking It - this one…okay, I get it, I’m gay asf. Sue me.

You did this to me - All of my life! You made me!


                                     One!
                                               Two!
                                                           Three!

                                                                        Four!

  • Steph: Tim and Kon, sittin in a tree.
  • Dick: K-I-S-S-I-N-G!
  • Kon: for the last time, Tim and I have never made out!
  • Tim: It was just mouth-to-mouth!
  • Steph: wait
  • Tim: oops
  • Dick: are you saying that you have put your mouth on Kon's?
  • Damian: don't be vulgar, Grayson
  • Tim: yeah, okay, Kon SAVING MY LIFE is not making out
  • Cass: awww, you save each other!
  • Kon: we're teammates. it's what we do.
  • Cassie: he never gave ME mouth-to-mouth....
  • Kon: you never needed it!
  • Duke: how do you....even know mouth-to-mouth?
  • Kon: all heroes should know it!
  • Kara: yeah okay but who taught you?
  • Kon: I learned in the Teen Titans
  • Cassie: Teen Titans never taught me....just saying...
  • Kon: stop being gross!
  • Dick: Are you saying that being gay is gross, because if so, I am very disappointed in you--
  • Kon: THAT'S NOT WHAT I SAID
  • Jason: 's what it sounded like
  • Tim: Kon calling people who are gay gross would be hypocritical
  • Steph: and why is that, Timbo?
  • Tim: uh
  • Kon: I'm bi, okay?????
  • Kara: interesting. And how does Tim know this?
  • Tim: we're friends. We talk.
  • Steph: let me guess. It's 3 am, neither of you can sleep, Kon creeps into Tim's room--
  • Kara: Kon sits on the end of Tim's bed, they stare into each other's eyes--
  • Cassie: Kon says, softly, staring at the moonlight lighting up Tim's face--
  • Duke: "I'm bi, Tim."
  • Dick: "Bi....for YOU."
  • Tim: THAT NEVER HAPPENED
  • Steph: sureeeeeeee it didn't
  • Donna: that's how Dick came out as pan to me
  • Dick: sort of. I mean, I didn't say I was pan for her, but there was the moonlight, and the beds, and the 3 am part--
  • Damian: that never happened, Grayson
  • Donna: oh yeah it did, punk
  • Jon: I wish I had a friend I was that close to
  • Kara: why, Jonno? you got something to tell us?
  • Jon: No! I just wish I had a good friend...
  • Steph: Damian, you're such a terrible person, look at his little face
  • Damian: how is this about me, now? I thought we were talking about Drake and the clone!
  • Cass: we can talk about both
  • Jon: no, no, it's not Damian's fault--
  • Jason: that he's a little punk? yeah, it is
  • Damian: can we please go back to talking about Drake and the clone's mating habits?
  • Tim: JAY HOW DID YOU COME OUT AS BI?
  • Jason: walked up to the guy, made out with him, and said "hey, Roy, I'm bi" and he said, "That's funny, your pants were saying--"
  • Kara: OKAY JASON THERE ARE SMALL EARS HERE
  • Damian: Danvers is right, nobody wants to hear about you and Harper's disgusting habits
  • Steph: right, let's talk about CASS and Harper's disgusting habits!
  • Cass: Harper Row is the most beautiful girl to ever exist.
  • Steph, Tim, Kara, Dick: awwwwwwww
  • Duke: this doesn't mean you're off the hook, Timberly
  • Tim: suRE IT DOES!!!
  • Cass: no, I'm pretty sure we never learned where Kon learned CPR
  • Kon: Tim taught me, okay????????????????
  • Dick: I KNEW IT!!!
  • Steph: did you make out??
  • Kara: was it romantic??
  • Tim: NO!! We used a dummy, just like how we learned it with Batman!
  • Cass: oh
  • Donna: boring
  • Cassie: I expected more from you
  • Barbara: If it helps, I found footage of them on a rooftop last week....
  • Tim: NO NO NO
  • Kon: THAT NEVER HAPPENED
  • Steph: BABS MY HERO LET ME SEE
  • Tim: NOOOOOOOO
  • [everything descends into chaos]
  • Bruce: You asked why we never have family get-togethers, Clark. This. This is why.
  • Clark: I'll admit I wasn't, uh, expecting that. At all.
  • Diana, eating popcorn: I was!

Okay Earpers let’s have a little chat. I keep seeing tweets and posts and things about people saying that they’ll be mad at Emily if Wayhaught breaks up or has any unhappiness for any period of time. But guys. Those are unrealistic expectations. It’s a show about demons and other supernatural characters. It’s a drama. The characters go through rough stuff sometimes. Waverly and Nicole are occasionally gonna have fights. They’re gonna have bad stuff happen to them separately and as a couple.They might even break up for a time. It’s a drama. Dramatic things are going to happen sometimes. But this is no reason to get angry at Emily or anything. She never promised there wouldn’t be any drama between Waverly and Nicole. In fact she said there probably would be drama between the two of them. As Emily said “I can’t just have them sitting on a couch” Sometimes bad stuff is gonna happen with them and to them. You have to prepare yourself for that. But as Emily has proven she is trustworthy. She loves Wayhaught and she knows about the bury your gays trope and the damage it causes. She’s proved we can trust that she’ll treat these characters with respect. And if she stops treating the characters with respect by all means call her out on it (Politely) But by this I don’t mean yell at her whenever Wayhaught is unhappy or breaks up. That might happen from time to time. I mean when she actually starts treating them with actual disrespect. (Which I honestly doubt will ever happen but if it does and we do need to call her out we need to do so POLITELY and RESPECTFULLY with SPECIFIC examples and why we think said storyline is disrespectful not just “I hate you Emily”.) Emily has never said there would never be any drama. There’s gonna be drama. Emily has even stated herself there’s going to be drama. It’s a dramatic show. But in times where you’re worried that maybe what’s happened to us before with queer rep is going to happen again, I shall direct you to a quote Emily Andras said herself. “You have to believe that even when they’re fighting they’re fighting for each other” Waverly and Nicole aren’t going to be happy 24/7. But as Emily says. You have to believe that even when they’re fighting they’re fighting for each other.

Yo honestly,a lot of grown men hate on Odell Beckham. Like if you go on any post about him on social media,80% percent of the comments from men are them callin OBJ gay,making homophobic jokes,stupid shit like that. Simply because the Nigga enjoys life,dances,can be a lil emotional,and is popular among women. Now idk if the OBJ is gay nor do I care,that’s his sexuality and it should be respected. It just always intrigued me how these grown men can be so focused on tryna police Another man’s masculinity. Like,don’t they realize their need to gossip on whether Bruh is straight or not is way more “feminine” then anything He does? Cmon my Nigga,stop hating and go do some “MAN SHIT” build a house,chop down a tree,use “For Men” lotion or some shit.

ML Wonder Woman crossover headcanon

Sooooo I just saw Wonder Woman (awesome movie, I am So Very Gay for Diana, well most of the amazons to be honest), and when it showed where she works in the modern day, well… I couldn’t resist this.  Seriously, someone stop me with these headcanon posts.

  • It didn’t take long for Master Fu and Diana to gravitate towards each other.
  • They end up having weekly tea together at Master Fu’s, because sometimes you just need to talk to someone who understands, a little, about what you’re going through.
  • Diana’s seen what’s going on with all of the akuma.
  • She nearly had a hissy fit when Copycat stole the Mona Lisa.
  • YOU DO NOT MESS WITH HER MUSEUM GOT IT.
  • However she has even less of an idea of where to find Hawkmoth than the others, and there’s no way she can purify akuma, soooo
  • On Master Fu’s request, she says out of the fights.
  • One day during tea, though, Master Fu asks for a favor.
  • Ladybug and Chat have been doing wonderfully, but they’re still just kids, and untrained for actual fights.
  • Honestly they’ve been muddling through and hoping for the best and Fu and Diana can both see that.
  • Fu is too old, otherwise he’d have already done so, but…
  • He asks his old friend if she could see about giving them a little training.
  • Diana’s not sure, she has no real experience with training someone else, especially those with powers that she has no way to figure out.
  • “Basic combat skills are still doable, though, and you’re probably the only hero on the planet who can train Ladybug with her yoyo.”
  • Diana agrees to give it a trial run.
  • Master Fu passes on to Marinette that he’s arranged for training for her and Chat, and to meet their teacher at this place and time.
  • Diana arrives early and hides, watching as Ladybug and Chat Noir show up and begin bantering and teasing and flirting with each other as they wait.
  • It hits her just how tiny and young they are.
  • These are KIDS going into battle.
  • She almost backs out then and there but she couldn’t live with herself if she left them defenseless.
  • The high pitched noise that Chat makes when she steps out to greet them could shatter glass.
  • “OH MY GOSH YOU’RE WONDER WOMAN YOU’RE THE MOST AMAZING HERO EVER.”
  • Ladybug is less gush-y but still as awestruck.
  • They are decidedly less awestruck by the end of training that night.
  • And plotting how to get back at Master Fu.
  • THEIR EVERYTHING HURTS.
  • But they also don’t want to disappoint the slavedriver Wonder Woman so they keep coming back for more training.
  • Diana told herself she wasn’t going to get attached.
  • Haha how’s that working out for ya.
  • These kids are adorable and precious and she loves them.
  • Chat is just a walking ray of sunshine and goofy smiles and awful jokes and a bonedeep sadness that she wishes she could wipe away.
  • Ladybug is a tiny little firecracker that would have been right at home among the Amazons, a born leader and strategist who’s still sweet and kind and brave in the way that only true heroes can be, where you’re terrified but will still put your life on the line to do what’s right.
  • One night it’s just her and Chat for training because Ladybug had a family thing she couldn’t get out of.
  • And the sunshine kitty is just so down and his heart isn’t in training.
  • So she goes and gets them a couple pints of ice cream and they sit down on a roof and she gets him to spill.
  • And it all comes out, the loneliness, his father’s emotional abuse and neglect, everything.
  • And Diana is sitting there trying not to crush her spoon in her fury because who could ever hurt this sweet sunshine kitten?
  • That’s it, he’s her son now.
  • No take-backs.
  • Chat is so very confused but he’s not going to question why Wonder Woman is suddenly mothering him.
  • The mothering quickly extends to Ladybug, even if she doesn’t need it like Chat does.
  • She tells them where to find her as a civilian, in case they ever truly need her help.
  • One day, a blonde teen boy ends up in her office, carrying a backpack and looking upset.
  • Before she can even ask-
  • “Did you mean it?  When you said…”
  • And it hits her all at once that this is her cat son and he probably just ran away from home and she recognizes his face from the ads all over Paris and yup this just got a lot more complicated.
  • But Diana’s never let that stop her before, so she’ll find a way to help Adrien.

Omake:

Later, at the Hall of Justice:
Batman:  Wonder Woman, why do you have a boy in a leather cat suit under your arm?
Wonder Woman:  He’s my son now.  No takebacks.

My dear lgbt+ children, 

Sometimes people slap the wrong label on us, 

Some do this on purpose to hurt or upset lgbt+ kids. “So, you’re basically straight.”, “Stop trying to be special, you’re just gay.”, “That’s not even a thing, you’re just…” Maybe they’re uneducated about lgbt+ terms, maybe they’re bullies. What they have in common is that they don’t actually care about you finding a label you feel comfortable with: They just want you to feel bad about the one you are currently using. 

I’ll never understand how people get joy out of making others feel unhappy but i do know that we don’t need to listen to those people. Their opinion on our labels doesn’t matter. 

But sometimes people slap the wrong label on us and honestly just try to help. They’re lgbt+, too, or they are supportive, they do their best to educate themselves about lgbt+ terms, they’re sweethearts and so you come to them asking for advice, they get excited and say “Oh, i know, you are That Label” - and you are more confused than before. That Label just doesn’t feel right. It doesn’t fit perfectly. You may even fit the definition and see where they got that idea but something’s not right. 

Situations like that can be more confusing than plain insults would ever be, especially if you’re new to the lgbt+ community and all those terms seem overwhelming. You may feel like they have to be right because they know all those definitions and you never heard some of them before. 

Or maybe they don’t slap a label on you but instead drown you in advice what to do. This is especially common when someone comes out as trans. “Oh!”, they say, “You have to take hormones! You have to get surgery! You have to get a binder! You have to choose a new name! You have to…” and all you really need right now is a hug, not a to-do-list. Or maybe they get super excited about helping you find a partner, want to make accounts on lgbt+ dating websites for you, introduce you to their “other gay friends”, take you to a gay club.. And well, you never signed up for any of that. 

You may wonder if you are being ungrateful. You may wonder if you’re required to accept That Label or sign up on those websites. You may even worry that you’re not really lgbt+ because your heart doesn’t jump with happiness at their help. Please know that you don’t have to do anything.  

Nobody but you can decide those things. You are the only one who can decide which label fits. You are the only one who decides which next steps (if any) you will take. Does that mean that we can’t ask others for help? Of course not. Other people can be wonderful resources of wisdom and love. Talking to others can help you figure out the right label. Other people can hold your hand as you take the next step (or as you say “no, thankyou” to any steps). 

Just know that other people’s well-meaning suggestions are just that: suggestions. You can take them, look at them, try them on and say “Yes, this fits” - or take them off and say “Thankyou but this doesn’t fit”. 

With all my love, 

Your Tumblr Mom

I honestly can’t believe that this needs to be said but queer is a slur thrown at LGBT people. If you 

  • 1) do not experience same-sex attraction (=you are not LGB)
  • 2) are not trans (=you are not T)

the word queer is not yours to reclaim (and also is not yours to use towards LGBT people without their explicit permission). 

And even if some LGBT people have reclaimed it, the word hasn’t magically stopped being a slur, so please be kind and stop using queer in every other fucking sentence when you are talking about LGBT people.

mom's reaction to the bmp princes

me: ok so here are the princes. tell me what u think of them

mom: u need to stop bothering me with your questions.

mom: this is the third time I’m suspicious of u.

me: why?

mom: hes sneaky

mom: wipe that shitty grin off his face for me.

me: u don’t like him do u?

mom: no.

mom: he needs to brush his hair

mom: but its better than urs

me: thanks mammy

mom: he reminds me of that gay collage kid u know.

me: but hes black

mom: idc

me: ok

mom: hes a flower boy

mom: weak

me: so mean

mom: hes the weak one

mom: so girly

me: ur so harsh on him

mom: he looks like one of those kpop stars

mom: I feel like I can break him easily

mom: hes like casanova

mom: he looks loyal

mom: i like his hair

mom: kinda dorky

mom: tough boy here

mom: he looks like that boy u use to like

me: u will never mention him again.

mom: oh wow

mom: wow

mom: wow

mom: so good

me: u ok

mom: wow

mom: are u smitten?

mom: hes the beast

mom: hes my fav

mom: can i have him

 mom: works bc i’m not married

me: I swear in that moment we were all my mom

mom: wtf does that mean

me: this man, hes my favorite

mom: shut up I’m talking

me: ok

mom: he seems pissed off

mom: his hair is like a lion fur

me: mane?

mom: yea whatever

mom: hes ok

mom: weak but clever

mom: he looks like one of those secretive abusive husbands

me: wow ok

mom: he can be nice but hes cold

mom: he looks like a cat

me: he hates cats

mom: all abusive husbands do

me: o_o

*there was an awkward silence to this*

The Outsiders meeting their author, S. E. Hinton

S. E. Hinton: So these teenagers were totally attacking me on Twitter saying that you’re gay and stuff but I told them off, don’t worry.

Dally: What the fuck?!

S. E. Hinton: Yeah I know right? Weirdos.

Dally: No like what the fuck, not cool man.

Steve: Yeah, these kids respect you and you diss them?

Soda: They bought your book and put money in your pocket.

Darry: You would be nothing without them.

Pony: Not to mention that it’s their interpretation, and you should respect that. 

Johnny: They look up to you because you created something that makes them happy.

Two-Bit: They’re your fans, and you should treat them with as much respect as they do you.

Tim: Who cares if we’re gay? Does that really matter?

Curly: These kids are adapting something they love to present times, making it timeless.

Angela: The fact that they’re able to do that with your work should make you proud.

Cherry: Many authors don’t get that with their writing.

Marcia: And you get angry at them?

Bob: And you shame them for loving what you made and taking it farther?

Randy: Maybe you’re the one that needs to be told off.

S. E. Hinton: Stop this, I wrote you, I created you and made you what you are, so you should respect me!

Pony: Yes, you wrote us. But you wrote us in a way that we were able to tell what’s petty and foolish. You wrote us so that we know right from wrong . And right now, we’re exercising that skill.

*silence*

Soda: Plus, we actually are gay.

why the hell are people getting so upset about people shipping certain ships? guess what? PEOPLE DON’T CARE WHETHER OR NOT YOU LIKE WHAT THEY SHIP!!!! stop being an ass and harassing and attacking people for shipping what they want. there is no logical reason to do so. there is a flaw in every ship and there will always be someone that ships a ship you don’t like. so i don’t understand why people feel the need to put in time to bash fans and a ship just because it’s not your ship. just let people ship what they want. it literally costs you nothing to be a decent person and leave a source of joy for someone unblemished and free of your cruelty.

literally whenever tumblr does something we hate, no matter how much users complain and protest it, they never change. they have a long history of not giving a shit about our feedback. i hate this. i dont want to stop using this site but if this continues i might. if we want them to fix this, give a shit about it at all, we need to do something big. idk, @ other lgbt bloggers, maybe we should boycott tumblr. i feel like it wouldnt affect them at all. i feel like theres literally nothing we could do. maybe a petition? idk honestly im just spitballing but i wish i could do something i feel so awful and powerless and disrespected 

I’m really sick and tired of lesbians thinking bisexual women are just “experimenting” or “are secretly gay inside”. That I’m using you to figure myself out. That I need you to help me. I’m not broken. I’m not greedy. I’m not your project to fix and help “convert”. Stop spreading bullshit. 

I’m also really sick of straight men asking me to have threesomes. My sexuality isn’t some fetish. My sexuality isn’t an invitation to talk to me like a sexual object. I do not exist to spice up your love life. I do happen to be a person so interact with me like a person.