this is so attractive to me

anonymous asked:

I ran into a old hockey teammate of mine and I asked her to hang out. She said sure, but later in the day, she messaged me on Facebook saying that she doesn't want to be around me because she thinks I'll hit on her.... Jokes on her tho, she's not even my type. She got really pissed after I told her that lmao

I love when homophobes get told they aren’t attractive to us, they get so pissy lmao. Good on you honey.

-Mom Em

anonymous asked:

Is it a common ace thing to sooo not understand why people would want to date someone they don't know? Or is that generally normal? Because for the life of me the concept of dating someone you don't already like is so weird!!

It’s common. I personally do (barely) understand why, but only because I spent years in the dating scene. Basically, people get the itch for physical intimacy, so you go on a few dates with a stranger that you sense potential with, and some minimal mutual attraction eventually sprouts.

- Fae

anonymous asked:

Pt. 1 I can't believe there are actual chiam shippers out there. Like that's an actual thing. What bothers me is that they don't find the relationship creepy. I thought to myself well hey Shakira and Pique are 10 years apart and I love them! So maybe I'm just being a hypocrite?? But they MET when Pique was 23 and Shakira was 33.

Cheryl met Liam when he was 14. That’s a child. I work with high schooler’s and I’m only 21, but I cannot imagine even finding the ones that are 18 attractive because they are children to me. I’m there as a mentor and advocate, not as someone who is going to prey on them. Idc if I run into them later in life when they’re 23, like it would still be wrong because I was at some point an adult who watched over them during their teen years.This whole thing is just so messed up.

Honneeeestly, you hit the nail on the boob for one of the (many, many, many!!11!!) reasons why I make this face every time I think of Cherliam:

The way Cherliam has been presented in the media especially has real pedophilia overtones. They’ve sexualized interactions between 14 and 16 year old Loammy Jean with a 24 and 26 year old woman who was positioned to be like his mentor.  Liiiike. Nope. Naht today. Please take it back, keep it, bury it in the yard, gross. 

anonymous asked:

Could you help me find a fanfic, where Dan was an actual star (or something like that) and Phil is this nerd who hasn't got a lot of friend. Dan's "star-vibe" attracts people, so he's really popular. (Spoiler ??) It ends with Phil playing the guitar for Dan laying in a field, and it turns out Dan has like flown to the sky, to finally go home. I think Phil played A Starlit Sky by The WorkDay Release or The Light Behind Your Eyes by MCR. If you can find it I woulf be forever grateful

Two Roads Meet - Phil Lester, a shy, poetic hipster, is talented at a lot of things; social interaction not being one of them. But when his best friend Tom, a popular socialite, wins a competition for a Road Trip, Phil suddenly finds himself meeting a whole new group of friends, including the total stud Dan Howell; a flirt-machine in a leather jacket. But will Phil’s awkwardly interesting personality intrigue Dan, or completely freak him out?

Could it be this one?

February 25th, 2017

So tonight I met someone that’s so awesome and I felt special and wanted for the first time in a long time. We have such good chemistry and it was like my actual first date and not just sex with someone. It was nice and the conversations were nice and he loves Lana Del Rey so I automatically connected with him. He’s low key famous kinda, he was in a few movies and he’s on local tv at least a few times a week. I’m getting better at picking guys. It was definitely a night to remember and I know he’s into me and he complimented me a lot and told me that he’s happy that he met me. I don’t wanna rush into things and I wanna see where this goes. Did I mention his body is like a pornstar? Well it is! He’s so attractive and he kept telling me that I’m attractive too (I know he wears glasses but damn he must really be blind). He just made me feel good and I like that. He’s 10 years older than me but I don’t care. Aaliyah taught us in the 90’s that age ain’t nothing but a number lmao. I just wanna be happy but I also don’t want to get my hopes up with this guy cuz like most guys, they aren’t shit. The thing with me though is that if you give me any type of affection or attention or show the least bit of interest in me, I catch feelings. I mean ultimately I want a relationship but I’m nothing more than a fun night to most guys. I wish it wasn’t like that but that’s how it is. Pray for me and that things work out for me!!!!!!

anonymous asked:

Hi,I was wondering how you and mod oka met each other and what your "story" was? :)

It all started with that message on a chubby-chaser dating site. I felt attracted to him because of his views on feminism. I wasn’t a feminist back then but I have always been attracted to politically opinionated people who I think I can learn from. 

Then long talks on Facebook including a small piece of music that I wrote for him since he played clarinet

And when I sent it to him on Facebook chat he didn’t reply in 3 days so I thought I scared him for life and he didn’t want to talk to me ever again xD

Then I bought a plane ticket to California in August 2013 for a three months visit. So before the 3 months ended, we knew we wanted to stay together forever and got married in Halloween of 2013

(My costume was Íñigo Montoya from The Princess Bride)

So I sent the forms to ask for permanent residency and 4 months after it was granted. And here we are xD

- Mod Guillermo

I’m so confounded by the way we’re raised to value attractiveness as the ultimate achievement in life. The never ending race to achieve something so abstract, its such an unnecessary burden on us. I spent the first half of my life trying to figure out what constitutes beauty and ultimately defining myself as ugly and nothing else because of constant comparisons and insults from boys which eventually shaped my own view of my appearance. I took more stock in insults from men than in compliments from anyone else because the world taught me the superiority of the male gaze. Words like “beautiful” have no absolutely meaning to me now coming from men because I learned at a young age that those weren’t words for me and have no association with my face, my body. Now that I’m older and find myself “fitting” the standards of beauty my subconscious is torn between flattery and disgust. The little girl in me feels flattered and successful in being the recipient of attention and compliments while being a man’s ideal but the current me feels uncomfortable, confused, and slightly wronged. When boys/men hit on me I feel like I’m playing the wrong part of a script and I can’t comprehend the concept. It’s hard for me to grasp the idea of beauty, it’s fluctuation, and it’s forced significance over the course of our lives.

anonymous asked:

I'm a lesbian and matched with a ftm dude on OKC. Seemed cool, we chatted. His profile said he wanted friends too. Few days later, propositions me out of the blue. Tell him thanks, but I'm only attracted to women. And he got...offended? Accused me of not knowing what trans is. Explaining that he still 'had those parts' and so on. I said it seemed pretty damn offensive to sleep with him just because of his anatomy and he got even more offended? Did I do something wrong there? I'm so confused.

no honestly i think you were the respectful one in that situation. i mean he personally may view himself that way but most trans people won’t like being singled out as their anatomy, and for many people they find that they would be doing someone a disservice by sleeping with them if they don’t have an attraction to people who identify how that person identifies but made an exception for trans men (for example) because they may have more familiar anatomy for you as a lesbian. operating dating profiles is difficult for trans people at times, but i think you were within reason here and though i myself like to date queer women i wouldn’t particularly be comfortable dating someone who exclusively identifies as a lesbian for example because i’m not a woman and that is what lesbians are attracted to. this situation seems pretty uncomfortable all around, and he should have respected your identity as much as you seemingly respected his. 

anonymous asked:

hey hope you dont mind me asking but for you as a pansexual, this includes not just having interest in men/women but also circumstantially, trans persons correct?

There are different definitions of being “pansexual”, so I’m just going to explain what it means to me. It basically just means I don’t look at gender when it comes to falling in love/being attracted to someone. I can be attracted to a person of any gender, be it male, female, non-binary, agender - really, I don’t care for that. It’s a concept that just does not make sense to my ability of feeling sexual and romantic attraction towards another human being. I mostly refer to myself as “bisexual” too, because people usually don’t know what pan is, but they know bi. Bisexuality is pretty much just an umbrella term for sexualities where you’re attracted to more than one gender (yet again, there are different definitions for bisexuality too, but that’s the most common).
When it comes to being attracted to trans people, bear in mind a trans man is just a man. Any heterosexual woman can be attracted to a trans man. A trans man is a male person.
Try seeing the “trans” label as an adjective. A trans woman is a women that is trans. Still a female. Still able to have male heterosexuals feel attracted to her. 
You don’t have to be queer to feel attracted to trans individuals, because they’re just regular people.
If you fall in love with genitalia though… ugh okay? How are you able to guess that? There are a lot of trans people you’d never guess are indeed trans. Don’t let this rule your head or who you fall in love with.
Now since attraction is usually something sexual, there are people who only feel the hots for someone looking a specific gender image. You can be attracted to people who look feminine, or people who look masculine. There are people who only feel attracted to people who look androgynous and that’s totally alright. But remember, a person can look and dress male and have stereotypical male interests, yet still identify as female and vice versa. The world is full of different individuals and honestly you can’t really compare one woman to another, there are always differences that might make you feel attracted to the one, but not to the other. Labels change and so do people, that’s just natural. And honestly, if you ask me, even if you are heterosexual, I really think that under literally billions of people of your own gender there’s gonna be one you could feel attracted to, no matter how strongly hetero you are. But that’s just what I think and I won’t go around and say “you have to try being gay for once lol”, because that’s not how this works.

tl;dr: I’m into any gender and yes, trans individuals fall under it.

Thank you for asking and thanks for showing interest in the topic, because to me it’s a highly important one. (:

anonymous asked:

My friend told me she knew she was gay because she thinks any type of girl is pretty/gorgeous/beautiful, but she only finds feminine looking men cute or attractive to her, she also said it's bonus points if they're wearing make-up but stressed that while she thinks they're attractive she doesn't feel an attraction to them

YEAH THATS ME!!!!! i very VARY rarely find men attractive at all and even if i see a SUPER attractive guy my thoughts are “you look good, i appreciate that! i want to be your friend” and not “this guy is so hot i feel romantic + sexual attraction” like the idea of dating a guy repulses me, i like the psychological connection that you have when dating girls

Tell me about your relationships.

I am 30 years old, and I don’t know what a healthy romantic relationship looks like. From some issues in my background, I half-expect any man I’m with to flip out at any moment. I have lived in a world in which this has happened, so I can no longer imagine a world in which it doesn’t happen. I don’t know what normal, we-can-work-through-this-respectfully problems look like, and what get-out-as-fast-as-you-can problems are. I have no frame of reference, no schema, and as a result, I repeatedly find myself in scary and emotionally-damaging situations.

This guy–my now ex-boyfriend–seemed pretty great on all the usual fronts (attractive, compassionate in his job, etc.). But he was deeply insecure. It affected every aspect of his interactions with me. He needed constant reassurance. I mean, I could have said, “I find you so attractive!” on repeat for three entire hours and he still would have been suspicious that I didn’t truly mean it and that he was ugly. I tried very hard to show him I was there for him–through showing up consistently and on time, small thoughtful gifts, near-constant physical touch, whispered affections, physical presence, etc.

And yet, he claimed that he had never felt less loved or cared for. I came to wonder if there was anything in my repertoire that could provide him what he needed, but I was committed to trying everything I reasonably could. I listened to him, I empathized, but I did not always agree or acquiesce to his requests. He now claims that my “coldness” was “emotionally abusive” and he never felt a moment of love from me.

And then, he broke up with me under awful circumstances in a foreign city and then send a barrage of nasty, mean-spirited texts. I didn’t know he even had those words in him.

How do I avoid getting into a situation like this in the future? My radar is totally defective. Seeing happily-married couples in respectful relationships is like me examining wildlife in Antarctica; it is totally foreign and mysterious to me.

Please, tell me about disputes with your spouse that you have resolved favorably OR tell me about situations that caused you to reasonably end a relationship. Tell me about situations on which you look back with regret and wished you’d ended it then. I need some sort of roadmap.

i just came out to my friends (well, one of them confronted me and i just confirmed tbh but that’s not the point) and they are so supportive i’m crying?? like i was so scared to come out and i’m still shaking and my heart beats like it’s crazy but i’m at peace? yet i’m still nervous that somehow something will change. You know, the ‘you are a girl and i am a girl and you are bi so that obviously means you are attracted to me’ crap. But on the other hand i no longer have to pretend that i don’t like girls and it has been really exhausting.

anonymous asked:

Do you have any other couple friends or pals that are in an age gap relationship? Do you ever find yourself wanting to meet other couples in similar situations?

I have friends in smaller age gaps like 10-15 years. Ours is larger than most of my pals. My last relationship was with a woman 20 years older than me.

So here’s the deal. I like Gunsmoke, The Carol Burnett Show, Arlene Francis, Marlene Dietrich, Greta Grabo, Amanda Blake, The Golden Girls, etc etc etc

Quite often women who share these interests are of a different generation than me. So besides finding older women much more attractive, they also share my interests much more frequently than someone my age does.

To me it’s more about that. I don’t really care how old someone is. If their values, interests, morals, etc are similar to mine then I’m probably going to be friends with them. If I’m attracted to them on top of that I’d pursue them romantically.

My wife swept me off my feet with her personality and slayed me with her being the sexiest woman alive. So like… that’s why we’re together.

But swerving back to the initial question, I don’t care in the slightest if our age difference is reflected in couples around us. It’s not even something we think about all that much. Everyone tells us we act the same age in a way, my own parents don’t even notice our age difference anymore and my mother is younger than Glo.

It just makes sense for us.


okay so the reason why i don’t ship bughead is because they have no romantic chemistry whatsoever, and i don’t think they would really click as a couple? like, they’re wayy better off as bros. and yes, i do ship jarchie, and yes, i do endorse asexual jughead AND before you bash me with the “you can’t support ace jughead and ship jarchie at the same time!!!1!1!!1!21!1!1” BEING ASEXUAL DOES NOT MEAN YOU ARE AROMANTIC! asexuality is the lack of sexual attraction to anyone, whereas aromanticism is a lack of ROMANTIC attraction to people. romantic and sexual attraction ARE NOT the same thing, so jughead still can fall in love with a character, there’s just probably not going to be any sexual activity going on.

LONG Story of a Short Body

Hoo-boy! Alright. Well first of all, I want to thank my tumblr-lovers @zerocarb and @hello-newman for encouraging me to share my body journey, and to @fatmaninalittlesuit for creating the promo that inspired sharing it. (I know I missed the promo!! Truly appreciate the idea, though. Writing out my story and eventually sharing it has meant a lot to me, it’s been really therapeutic!) I’ve been all over the board and my body’s changed a TON in the process of me finding peace with it, so I’m including pictures. It’ll probably end up being a little NSFW/underwear-y, and potentially triggering, so please peace out now if that aint cool. 

I’ve been pretty average-sized most of my life, and fell hard into the hair dyeing/concert-going scene in highschool, and that look+lifestyle really stuck for a really long time. And that was great! Someone’s not attracted to me? It’s probably because I’m too badass! I’m feeling down about my appearance? I’ll just change my hair! In many ways, my “look” kept me from dealing with how uncomfortable I felt about my hips and thighs and square face: things I privately felt really, really uncomfortable about! But I was comfortably distracted. I come from a family of marathon running, carb-restrictive health junkies and convincing myself that my punk rock sensibilities were more significant than our HUGE differences in health allowed me to ignore our huge differences in health. 

Q: Could I have possibly chosen a better picture to illustrate the difference between me and the rest of my super healthy, wholesome family?

A: No! 

It’s probably worth mentioning here that my first “serious” relationship began in High School, and while I hate giving significance to the opinions of some dumb 17-year old, my high school sweetheart DID tell me I was stocky and un-feminine, DID tell me my mom was hotter than I was, and DID encourage me to skip meals to lose weight. He also once implied that his sister was hotter than me, so he was obviously fucking nuts. Anyway. I was young, impressionable, stupid, and sadly those opinions REALLY stuck. Hell, here’s a telling picture of us at prom. As you’ll see I’ve always had a terrific sense of loyalty+humor. (also look at that poor little chick who totally wasn’t fat. ugh. what a jerk.)

I dumped him as soon as I got to college, where I promptly started singing in a punk band, and making bank performing burlesque with other tough-as-nails women. I gained the freshman 15, I wrote songs about how much he sucked, I hooked up with his best friend, I was killing it!! I didn’t think about my body. I was happy and strong. I could eat a burrito faster than most of the giant punk rock dudes I lived with. I shotgunned beer. It was a really good time in my life and probably the last point in my life where the size of my body wasn’t really an issue for me or the people around me. My body type was “fierce.”

I kept performing, and kept feeling a lot of pride about my femininity and my badassery, until I couldn’t afford (financially and time-wise) to continue doing burlesque. I “retired,” and decided to take some time for myself. Chill with the hair, confront the body stuff. 

Five or six years ago, (halfway through my second stab at college and really not THAT long ago,) I started a Tumblr in an effort to lose 15 pounds. I had a wedding to attend in a few months, I was in a dying relationship, all signs pointed to lifestyle change. I struggled through the loss of the first pound and the second, I logged and weighed and blogged, I joined crossfit, I worked hard. Lost 15 pounds. Dyed my hair a “normal” “color.” And your girl looked GOOD. 

And I felt great! Then one day I happened to skip all my meals and lost a shit ton and I guess the rest is history. The weight started melting off, and I became addicted to seeing those numbers drop faster than I could figure out how wrong that addiction was. In five months I went from 112 pounds to 80, I lost my period and my boyfriend and all my friends. I started drinking heavily. My hair fell out. I had one of those awful xXxbOnEsXxX tumblr accounts for thinspo. My friends stopped giving a shit. It went beyond vanity, beyond weight, it just became who I was. My parents and doctor pulled me out of the grad school program I had worked for years to get into. It was infantilizing and infuriating. I was placed in a weight gain facility that didn’t let you sit up or use stairs without a doctor’s express permission. This paragraph is a real cluster-fuck, but that’s how it felt. It all happened really fast. I have a lot of really glam pictures from this time in my life, but I have no interest in glamorizing this disease that Tumblr often glamorizes. I’m only gonna share this really unflattering progress gif from video that I took a few weeks before I hit weight rock-bottom, none of the attractive stuff. (trust me, without the giant wig i looked positively alien.) (hell WITH the giant wig i look positively alien.) I weigh 83 in these pictures and my lowest was 78, not that it really matters.

In the same way that I became determined to lose the weight, one day I just woke up determined to get better. I quit the outpatient treatment I’d been attending for 8 months, I was just sick of people watching me eat/telling me how to eat/making me feel like the anorexia haunted me even as I slowly gained the weight back. I had my last awful meal in treatment on a Thursday, and that Friday I went to a party and met a cute boy. Poor dude unwittingly entered into some crazy that night, but I learned to eat food and gain weight with him in a way that was more impossibly joyful than…well, than it was with three therapists staring me down. I started birth control, reckless-lover doses of pizza and wine, and more -ahem- body appreciation than I’d had in weeks, in years. I stopped exercising. I was introduced to the joys of fried seafood on the beach. I gained all my weight back and then some, though I never ever stepped on a scale. I met him at around 120 pounds and when I got an open container ticket from a cop outside his house 3 months later, that cop estimated me at 135. Higher than I’d ever been.

Anyway, so I forced myself to sit at that weight for awhile. Be chill. Breathe. Get drunk, eat food, not care. And I succeeded in those things! But believe you me the weight gain took its toll. I stopped letting people take pictures of me and post them online, I never made eye contact with my reflection. I just WASN’T HAPPY in my body. And people really freak out when you tell them that after anorexia! But you’re still a person after recovery, and I just felt like I was drinking too much and eating too much and gaining too much to be comfortable in my own skin. It wasn’t what I wanted, it isn’t what I want. It’s hard for me to even look at that picture above because even my face looks wrong. Bloated, hungover, unhappy. I wasn’t feeling strong, so I slowly started taking steps to eat better and take better care of myself. It wasn’t easy, for the last few years I’ve cycled through restricting/bingeing, drinking too much, crash dieting. It wasn’t until recently that the weight loss finally started to stick, that I finally learned to treat my body better.

(Also I ended up marrying that cute boy!)

Anyway, so here I am. I’m 8 weeks into a really HEALTHY, challenging, SLOW AND STEADY weight loss attempt. Every day I am careful to stay in the sweet spot, to stay safe but still maintain a deficit. I have lost about 11 pounds from starting, but I’m trying to avoid the scale. I want to feel comfortable in my own skin this summer, and I want to turn 30 at a lower weight than I was when I turned 20. (I’ll be 30 in November, where does the TIME? GO?!) I feel bad that I spent so much of this description talking about my ED, but that’s life. Miraculously, I don’t really feel like it’s affecting my weightloss in a negative or dangerous way this time. They say addicts are super good at losing weight (well, they said it on revenge body ONCE) and I believe my old obsessive anorexia traits DO help me stay super focused and disciplined, (like I will never ever lie on my food logs, I will weigh every morsel of food for better or for worse,) but my goals have remained really realistic and I haven’t been restricting or wanting to. I’m doing my best not to shy away from muscles and gainz, doing my best not to freak out over how necessarily slowly the scale is moving. Anyway if you read this far you’re a real GEM and I appreciate it. I will reward you with my official BEFORE picture, taken January 1st 2017, wearing THE most unflattering shorts I own, next to me this morning. This is not a fair comparison because those shorts+pose would make anyone look bad, but woooo 8 weeks of progress. @zerocarb I know you have been waiting for this day for a long time. THIS IS FOR YOU.

God those shorts. What was I thinking?

Anyway I wanna hear about your journey, too!!!!! <3 Thanks for indulging me, this was really motivating therapy. My husband’s gonna read this tonight too, we don’t talk about the anorexia much, and I’m happy for him to know his important role in my recovery. ANYHOW sorry it was so long, hope it was interesting! 

anonymous asked:

It's been 3 months for me too and I still feel so attacked by how attractive Colin as Graves is. How am I so attracted to him, it just doesn't make sense

Or does it make perfect sense?

anonymous asked:

I grew up in the time before pansexual was even a term. I identified as bisexual because I was attracted to both male and females whatever they identified with. I now wonder if pansexual would be a more accurate term for my sexuality. I'm trying to wrap my head around it, forgive me :)

Okay so I am a proud member of “I identified as bi for a long time before deciding pan fit me better” club so I’m going to kind of explain why I felt label wise pan fit better than bi.

Personally, I don’t care about how other people identify. I get attracted to them anyways, always have even before I was really able to admit it to myself. When I identified as bi it was because I was just starting to get into the LGBTQ+ community. I didn’t know a lot about all the sexualities (or genders) and hadn’t heard of being pan. Honestly it took me a few years after I admitted I might be bi (which for the record? The fact that I used to say ~might~ when I’m way more attracted to other girls than I am guys is hilarious really) to really even actively learn about the rest of the community. After a while I kinda just realized that dude I just don’t care what gender someone is or identifies as like… at all. I get attracted to all kinds of people of all kinds of genders and not all of them really fell into the categories of just guy or just girl and the bi label just kind of didn’t fit as well as it used to at that point.

For a while I just kind of “who even knows” at my sexuality… And then I heard about pansexuality and it just seemed like a better fit. Maybe it’ll be the same for you or maybe not (I have a bi friend with a genderfluid boyfriend lol). There’s no concrete way for someone else to tell you which of them should you better it’s kinda the type of thing you have to figure out as you go.