this is shitty i know but hey

Imagine: Bitty keeps vetoing all of Jack’s clothing options because he knows Jack dresses like a robber. Jack eventually just lets it go and asks Bitty for his OOTD and tries to assemble his own outfit accordingly, but he keeps sending the messages to the wrong chat - 

SMH Group Chat
Jack: Hey Bits what are you wearing today
Jack: wrong chat
Shitty: brah keep it in your pants
Holster: noiCE
Ransom: getting that bitty booty and its only 1:30 in the afternoon
Bitty: honey….
Jack: for the dinner! tonight i mean! with my parents! I’m not sexting rn
Holster: LOOL not “right now” but theres othER TIMES???
Jack: stop 

Falconers Group Chat
Jack: Hey Bits what are you wearing 
(”Jack: for brunch tomorrow” - message not sent)
Marty: kid
Poots: holy shit zimmboni’s getting freaky
Thirdy: wrong chat lol
Tater: booty shorts and heels)))) very sexy u like
Jack: :/ 
Tater: can u tell b more pie please im finish last one((

Family Group Chat
Jack (out on a run): Bits what are you wearing
Jack: nO wrong chat im asking for clothing options
Alicia: sweetie it’s ok
Bob: v neck and dark wash jeans and an apron
Jack: ….
Bob: we flew in a day early we’re in your apartment im standing right in front of Eric
Bob: we are making apple pies
Bob: surprise!!!!!!

anonymous asked:

hey hi I just wanted to let you know that I have been having such an incredibly shitty day and I wanted you to know that you've helped me smile a lot today so thank u I hope you're having a great day :^)

aw i hope things get better and im v happy i could make u smile thats a nice feeling <3

Rewatching the first Sailor Moon episode on animelab (which I would love to have a bigger catalogue because servicewise, it’s much superior to Crunchyroll in not freezing all the fucking time), and I always forget that Luna really does do a pretty shitty job explaining the whole Hey You’re a Senshi Now, Go Risk Your Life in Battle to, you know, a fourteen year old girl.

It’s basically “Oh hey, sup, I am a talking cat. You’re a destined warrior. Here’s a pretty brooch. No, I’m not going to explain what it does, just try it out. Okay, now go fight. I’m not going to tell you what magical attacks you have until you’re cornered and about to die. There you go, wasn’t that great?”.

I actually have a lot of fun playing with it because Sailor Moon shouldn’t exist and didn’t exist in their past lives, so where the fuck dd that brooch even come from and did Luna just decide that Moon’s weapon would be her tiara, and it was so?

Pretty much none of it makes any sense if you spend longer than 0.2 seconds looking at it, is what I am saying. 

lesbianstarterpack  asked:

hey! I help questioning sapphics/lesbians acquire urls for their sideblogs that haven't been taken by lesbophobes (since that's been a real issue as of late). can I please have a promo?

ooh, nice! i didn’t know that was a problem? that’s so shitty? lmk if there’s anything i can do to help. 

hey fellows @lesbianstarterpack is doing some good work go follow them

clarifying edit: lesbophobes are shitty, you are fantastic. 

jack in the future just wants to talk about bitty to literally anyone who will listen???

“hey, want to see some pictures of my husband, eric? he’s so cute. i love him so much”

@ new falcs trainer: oh, sure, dude!

@ receptionist at the doctor’s office: oh all right then

@ waiters at restaurants: do you mean the man currently sitting across from you

@ shitty: brah i know him???

@ bitty: honey

where is my very soft time traveling fic featuring zimbits where they meet their grown-up selves with 2.5 kids via stanley cup magic just so I can read a scene like this:

Shitty (coming downstairs to kitchen for breakfast): oh hey Bob. I didn’t know you were visiting us. Nice flow, when’d you get it? Who’s the cute blonde dad behind you?  Also why are there children in the haus–
Older Jack (juggling his toddler, who is playing with his hair): …I’m Jack.
Shitty: haha okay–(focuses on Jack’s face, spits out coffee)–holy

  • Jack: Hey Shits, I was wondering if you could help me?
  • Shitty: Sure bro, what's up?
  • Jack: I'm planning on proposing to Bitty soon and practicing would help so could I practice on you?
  • Shitty: First of all, why didn't you tell me sooner that you were planning on proposing to Bitty, DO YOU KNOW HOW BIG AND FUCKING AMAZING THAT NEWS IS??
  • Jack: I was obviously going to-
  • Shitty: AND OF FUCKING COURSE YOU CAN PRACTICE ON ME! Let me just get into character.
  • Jack: Thanks, this means so much but really, all I need you to do is stand-
  • Shitty: *clears out his throat and bends his knees until he's about Bitty's height before speaking in a terrible Southern accent* Oh Jack, my darling.
  • Jack: ...Why are you like this?

anonymous asked:

hey yo i don't know if you've done something like this before but can you recommend fantasy books that aren't racist, sexist, homophobic, ableist, or anything like that because rn i am in need of something Not Shitty™ to read please and thank :))))

yes of course!!! i hope this is helpful :))

  • six of crows by leigh bardugo
  • six of crows by leigh bardugo
  • six of crows by leigh bardugo
  • Six of Crows by leigh bardugo
  • six of crows by Leigh Bardugo
  • six of crows By leigh bardugo
  • siX of cRows by leiGh bArdUgo
  • six of crows by leigh bardugo
  • six of crows by leigh bardugo
  • six of crows by leigh bardugo
  • SIX OF CROWS by leigh bardugo
  • six of crows by LEIGH BARDUGO
Something That Needs to be Addressed

Hey guys!

I don’t like making anyone feel sad or feel like crap because I don’t like that being done to me. This post is for anyone dealing with the immigration ban. For anyone dealing with the impending Anti-LGBT discrimination approved executive order being put into place. Or anyone that Shitty Trump chooses to point his baby finger at. You have a home here. You have friends and family here. If you want to vent, by all means do so. I know that Trump is making it a living hell for a lot of people. But that doesn’t exist here. Regardless of race, creed, sexuality, or anything else people choose to hate for no reason, this blog is a safe space. And though I may never meet any of you IRL, I want you to know I love you and to stay safe in this chaotic world.

If you’re an introvert, follow @introvertunites

Homestuck Characters as Let's Players Because I've Jumped the Shark
  • John: Has been at it for years and has a lot of subscribers because of it, everyone posts gifs of him reacting to different games talking about how pure and sweet he is, when he is none of those things
  • Rose: Does reviews and extensive walkthroughs. Very to the point, but will also set time aside to completely wreck a shitty game design or a nonsense plot with snarky commentary.
  • Dave: Nobody really knows why he has five million subs. He doesn't even use face cam or a decent mic, he just records 10 minutes of pure self indulgent monologue over any random video game. What's this guys secret?
  • Jade: "hey guys! welcome my weekly animal jam stream! counterstrike is pushed back a week because i got banned from my favorite server because they thought i was hacking...but that's okay! how are you doing today everyone?"
  • Jane: Gets a lot of hate from people who think she's completely sold out to her main source of sponsorship, when really she just supports the product
  • Jake: One of those European Youtubers that uses a crap ton of slang from his country of origin and has a near incoherent accent. Fails to grasp stealth based games. He also does a lot of live action videos of him taking different YouTube challenges of dubious levels of safety
  • Roxy: "Yeah, this is your average RPGMaker MV based game, the sprites are the basic pack you get in the game and they forgot to sync up the walk cycles on the NPCs so they aren't running into eachother all the time...OH MY GOD A CAT IM GONNA GO PET IT!"
  • Dirk: Professional editor, doesn't have his own channel but he does occasionally show up in videos with Jake and Roxy, to the point where fans know who he is. Doesn't really want to have his own channel because he feels that would involve pandering to the intelligence of the average Youtube user. Has far too many self image issues to put himself out there as anything more than just the dude behind the scenes making everything click.
Animation Studios' Production Styles
  • Disney: Once a trail-blazer but has since found a formula that works for them and now has trouble straying from it.
  • Pixar: Will give literally any inanimate object or abstract concept feelings. Ironically has trouble writing stories about actual humans.
  • Dreamworks: Has everyone from the seasoned writers to the secretary's preschooler write down ideas and then picks one from a bowl. Makes a movie out of it no matter what it is.
  • Blue Sky: Ya know how Disney has a few successful films about talking animals? Yea lets do that. Only that.
  • Studio Ghibli: Anime is an art-form. We seem to be the only ones that think so.
  • Cartoon Network: Shitty reboots and Steven Universe leaks!
  • Nickelodeon: What the fuck is Avatar? Hey kids want to see another season of Spongebob Squarepants?
  • Warner Bros: Does anyone remember us? Bugs Bunny? Loony Toons? Ring a bell? O-oh I guess we could just make another Lego Movie...
My Queen

Drabble Prompt: “I am no longer a princess. Now, I am a queen.“   

Pairing: Sam x Reader

Requested by: @shadowpriestess6


“Sammy…”

“Sammy!”

Dean swears under his breath, watching the scene before him. He keeps trying to get his brother’s attention but it’s obviously not working.

“I’ll text your stupid ass then.” Dean growls as he watches your drunk frame dance on top of the library table.

Library. NOW!

Dean doesn’t know how it happened but you’re ridiculously drunk. A lot more than usual. At first, seeing you prance around in a crop top and boy shorts was pretty hot.

It was funny seeing you dance to a shitty pop song you’ve been blaring throughout the bunker. But now it’s just getting on his damn nerves.

Keep reading

Beautiful Things// Carl Grimes Imagine

MASTERLST REQUESTS

(PART 2// SORROWFUL THINGS)

(PART 3// MYSTERIOUS THINGS)

A L E X A N D R I A

So it was official. Carl and Enid were a thing. I guess I saw it coming, with all the longing looks and lingering touches they shared. I could see the couple now, holding hands under the table and laughing together as they ate. I stared a while longer, eventually tearing my eyes away from the two and going back to poking at my spaghetti.

That right there is all I ever wanted with Carl, ever since I was 14. But no. This shitty world just got ever shitter. I guess any real friend would be happy that their best friend was ‘getting some’, and I really did try to look enthusiastic while Carl rambled on and on about how pretty Enid’s smile was or how she 'Just gets me, you know’. Yeah, well I got Carl. I know Carl better than he knows himself, yet that never got me anywhere.

Daryl nudged my shoulder, breaking my depressing thoughts.

“Hey kid, you’re not touching your spaghetti, usually you inhale the stuff, what’s bothering ya?”

I sighed again, and glared pointedly at Carl and Enid.

“Ohhh the new couple, chin up y’/n, it’s his loss you know.” Daryl said, I could see his sympathetic smile out of the corner of my eye and could feel anger bubbling up inside of me. I didn’t need people’s pity just because I can’t get a man. Fuck that.

I ignored Daryl’s comment, and shoved my plate away from me, my fork clattering to the floor as I stood up. I looked around for a second, my dramatic actions causing interest around me. with on last glare at Carl, I stomped away, slamming the door behind me for good measure.



                                             //The Next Day//

After my mini tantrum yesterday, I decided to make up for the drama by volunteering to do an extra shift on lookout today. I was headed to Rick’s house to tell him when I heard someone shouting my name. I froze instantly, thinking that it was Carl, and was wondering whether to make a break for it or confront him when an arm was placed on my shoulder, turning me round to face..Ron.

“Jesus Christ you’re hard to keep up with” He rolled his eyes at me, leaning over to catch his breath. I rolled my eyes right back, but let out a breath that I hadn’t realized I was holding in.

“What do you want now Ronald.” I said. Ron and I were moderately good friends, but we’d been hanging out a lot more since Carl started following Enid around like a lost puppy dog.

“No need to be so bloody moody y/n, just wondering if you want to come to mine and chill for a bit, since I’ve got the morning off.”

I considered doing the right thing and offering my services to protect Alexandria, but decided that reading comics and talking about how much I miss the internet was a better use of my time.

The two of us walked back along to Ron’s house in a comfortable silence. Until Ron decided to break it.

“You wanna hear my opinion on Carl and Enid?” he asked suddenly, turning to me.

“Not really no. But you’re gonna tell me anyway so go ahead.” I sighed. I was kinda tired of hearing all about them now.

“I think you and Carl would make a much better couple. Enid’s not even that nice, trust me when I say I know.”

I appreciated that Ron was trying to make me feel better about the whole situation, but putting Enid down was not the way to go about it.

“ I don’t hate her.” I blurted out, surprising even myself.

“She’s actually really nice. She’s lovely, she’s so good for Carl, I mean look how happy she makes him. I could never do that.”

Ron was surprised at the point of view I was taking.

“Well, to be honest y/n, everyone thinks you hate her, with no help from your little outburst yesterday.” He nudged me playfully as a rolled my eyes at him.

“Yeah well I’m just a dramatic person, you’ll get over it” I flicked my hair and sped past him., strutting a little, making him laugh.

“Yeah yeah y/n you keep joking, but you know you’re just jealous. Also feel free to keep strutting because I am loving the view I’m getting right now” Ron shouted from behind me cheekily.

I huffed, but stayed walking in front of him, thinking about his comment.

Was I jealous? Of course I was, I want it to be me in Carl’s arms, me making him laugh, but instead all I got was ditched as soon as another girl entered the equation.

What annoyed me most was that.. I didn’t hate Enid. She was more beautiful that I could ever be, and although she was a bit weird, she’s kind and thoughtful.

I guess it would be a lot easier for me if she was awful. that would mean I could hate them together with good reason. But no, she just had to go and be nice, making me feel like a selfish bitch whenever I felt anger bubble up inside of me when I saw them walking hand in hand, or kissing under the big oak tree, or laughing together as they looked into each other’s ey-

“Y/N! WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU GOING? MY HOUSE IS BACK HERE YOU TWAT!”

Oh. I turned on my heel and looked at my surroundings. Ron was right, I’d walked right past his house and was nearly at the end of the street by the time Ron shouted at me. I huffed and stomped back, brushing past him into his house, muttering that I wasn’t a twat.

I ran up the stairs to his room, knowing the route well, I opened his door, ready to lie down with some comics and forget about the whole thing when-

oh for the lOVE OF SPAGHETTI

There, sitting on his bed, were Enid and Carl with their hands still closed around each other’s.

“Oomph, what the hell are you doing standing in the- oh. um. hello?” Ron was as confused as I was as the four of us looked at each other.

Cal looked right at me before clearing his throat and beginning his explanation.

“Oh um, dad told us to come and get you both to tell you about the meeting for tomorrow’s run, and Daryl told us that Ron had gone to get y/n to go to his house so we thought we’d come here to get you, but you took ages so we went inside and now you’re here and um, um yeah. ha” Carl finished awkwardly, scratching his head with a small smile and looking back down at his shoes.

'Oh. Right. Do you want to stay and chill with us then?“ Ron took it surprisingly well, but the quick side glance he gave me showed that he just wanted to make me uncomfortable. That prick.

Enid nodded with a grateful smile and reached to grab some comics from Ron’s side table, handing one to Carl and scooting over on the bed, patting the spot next to her and looking at me.

um. no, sweetie, sorry.

I pretended not to see her gesture and sat on the floor and we all read comics for an awkward half-hour, until I couldn’t take the tension anymore and told everyone that  I didn’t feel well and was going to head home.

"I can walk you back, i-if you want?” Carl said to me. I was surprised he was speaking to me, since we hadn’t really had a proper conversation for two weeks.

“Nah I’m ok, just going to head home, plus I don think your girlfriend would like that very much anyway.” The words came out of my mouth before I could stop them, and everyone looked at me shocked.

I ran out of the room and down the stairs before anyone could say anything, especially Enid.

I walked the rest of the way home. Why did I have to go and fuck things up even more, Carl will be pissed at me for speaking to his girlfriend like that, and even if he isn’t, I couldn’t even have a conversation with him without wanting to burst into tears and tell him everything.

As my house came into sight, I let a few tears fall when I saw the porch steps Carl and I used to sit on a talk about anything, nothing and everything. I had it all, but now he’s telling Enid all his hopes and dreams, looking up at the stars with her, hugging her, loving her.

I wiped my tears away.

Beautiful things just don’t happen to girls like me.

This is gonna be a thing

Hey, this is shitty-check-please-aus, I’ve decided that I really want that thing I reblogged about a cutthroat kitchen-style fanfic spree to be a thing so I’m starting a side blog to make that happen without getting lost in all the notes on that post.

hit me up here if you want to:

  • Compete in this very fun trainwreck
  • Give me ideas for how I should try to organize it
  • Tell me what twitch and rabb.it do and what would be possible for organizing a streaming element to this thing (cause some people have expressed interest in that)
  • give me ideas for potential sabotages
  • let me know times when other fandom events are going on so I don’t, for example, steal the thunder from the women of check please week
  • any other ideas you’ve got that you’d be cool with me stealing

Let’s make some fun, bad fanfic.