this is shitty don't look at me

OMGCP characters as things my mom has said to me
  • Bitty: It's 3:30 in the morning and you have a sociology report due tomorrow why are you making a cheesecake
  • Jack: Hey could you step away from your hyperfixation for a second and look at this shirt design?
  • Ransom: [as im huddled in a ball under my bed] Is this because of school, the future, moving out, or all of the above?
  • Holster: I'm banning Moana songs from this house and it's all your fault
  • Lardo: If you don't stop drawing on your arms ill tape your fingers together
  • Shitty: WE GET IT, YOU'RE LIBERAL, JUST LET US EAT DINNER IN PEACE FOR ONCE
  • Dex: Did you...did you kick the dishwasher and then fix it BETTER than before you broke it?? ((note: this was a total accident))
  • Nursey: You look like a lesbian hipster in a portland vegan bakery
  • Chowder: If you called me in here just too tell me how nice your friends are AGAIN i'm adopting you off
  • Whiskey: Stop pretending you're cool we all know you cried over the Homeward Bound movie
  • Tango: I'll answer all of your questions about technology back in my day in a second just please for the love of god let me take a bath
  • Ollie&Wicks: How long have you been in the house?? i haven't seen you in like 3 days
  • Ford: You'd be a great politician, you're good at ordering people around and have a face that makes people inherently trust you
  • Johnson: please stop making me think about if i'm real or not while i'm buying toilet paper
  • Kent: You're never gonna get a boyfriend, your only redeemable quality is that cats like you
  • NOTE - im very very gay and like girls a Lot but im still in the closet, which is why these seem so uncharacteristically Hetero™
hamilton songs as things my family/friend group has said on our New Zealand trip (act 1)
  • alexander Hamilton: it's me, that bitch from that island
  • aaron burr: who are you and who are me and who are they
  • my shot: the gangs all here hahaha! [whispers] i don't think I'll survive this.
  • the story of tonight: when I'm gone... remember me [falls into the kiddie pool dramatically]
  • the Schuyler sisters: my life compromises of shitty flirting and people forgetting I exist
  • farmer refuted: if we fight like an old married couple then you... you look like a... a-a... a dog!
  • you'll be back: I miss you but I'll never admit that to any one but this chip I'm about to eat
  • right hand man: I'm not that cool and can't handle any big responsibilities why are you giving me this egg
  • a winters ball: how do you wink
  • helpless: i FUCKING do
  • satisfied: well there goes another unfortunately attractive missed opportunity
  • the story of tonight(reprise): I'm not drunk you are
  • wait for it: the drying machine has been drying my clothes for three hours but I'm too scared to open it in case my clothes haven't dried yet.
  • stay alive: I may be on the verge of death but I'm still a raging homosexual
  • ten duel commandments: this bitch bout to be SHOT
  • meet me inside: ive got 100 problems and daddy issues are 89.78% of them
  • that would be enough: I fucking hate you why won't you love me
  • guns and ships: the freNCH FRY IS ZOOM ZOOMING
  • history has its eyes on you: when I was your age...
  • yorktown(the world turned upside down): violin more like vioLIT
  • what comes next: this bitch really thinks that she can just leave hold my hoops girls. [ten seconds later] WAIT I don't care never mind.
  • dear theodosia: look at this tiny human IVE CREATED IT LOOK AT IT!
  • non-stop: all I do is work baby [eating chips on a couch watching food network]
5

I’m like six years late to the fandom but here’s some terrible Valentines from everyone’s favorite Roman LARPers

send them to the profligates you least wish to kill

Hospital experience a year ago
  • <p> <b></b> *me being in the hospital for some shitty muscle, so not for diabetes*<p/><b>Nurse:</b> So Kilian, time to check your bloodsugar<p/><b>Me:</b> ugh okay<p/><b></b> *checks*<p/><b>Nurse:</b> and?<p/><b>Me:</b> it's way too high, it is 21 mmol/l<p/><b>Nurse:</b> how many units would you normally inject for this?<p/><b>Me:</b> around 8 units<p/><b>Nurse:</b> well, since you are under our care, we need to ask the doctor first. Let me make a call, I'll come back to you<p/><b></b> *nurse calls and comes back*<p/><b>Nurse:</b> the doctor said to inject 2 units<p/><b>Me:</b> thats way to little. But I'll do that. Don't look weird if it doesn't really go down<p/><b></b> *nurse comes back to check my BS again*<p/><b>Me:</b> it it still above 15 mmol/l<p/><b>Nurse:</b> wooowww how is that possible? What happend? Did you eat anything? Did you really inject yourself 2 units?<p/><b>Me:</b> you know what happend?<p/><b>Nurse:</b> wellllll????<p/><b>Me:</b> people uncapable of understanding my body, force me to do whatever they think is right... so I'll inject whatever I want and you are gonna tell the doctor that.<p/><b></b> A doctor who I don't know, who doesn't know me, tells me to inject way too little insulin while I had diabetes for like 7 years. I know my body stupid fucks<p/></p>

the-fifth-key  asked:

My sister and I both live at home, and at the moment, both my parents are on a 4 month holiday so it's just us two. My sister got a cat last year (even though I'm very allergic to it and fleas) which has been alright cause it's mostly an outdoor cat. But last week, my sister decided on short notice to move in with her boyfriend and can't take the cat with her. She wants me to look after it even though I'm really allergic and generally don't like it anyway. What should I do?

I don’t think you should take it. It was shitty for her to get it in the first place while living with you, and it’s utterly unreasonable of her to decide to foist it off on you because her life decisions are making her unable to care for it. This cat’s welfare is not your obligation, and it’s not fair to you to put you in this position. 

Also, it’s worth noting that you’re likely not going to take great care of an animal you don’t want, don’t like, and have health issues related to. Even if you intend to and try really hard, resentment builds up and can affect the cat’s quality of life. That’s not fair to the cat. 

Help her rehome the cat if you’re worried about it’s future care - or if you’re worried she’ll just abandon it - but you definitely don’t have to take it yourself. 

anonymous asked:

I just need to get this off of my chest because it just annoys me so much. One of my friends who is also trans knows that I don't identify as a cis male instead I identify as agender. They know I use they/them/their but they refuse to use proper pronouns for me. But, here's the kicker, they bow down and worship this YouTuber who identifies as nonbinary and always remembers to use their correct pronouns. They straight up told me that I don't look that much like someone who's agender.

Sounds like a really shitty friend! I’m sorry you’re dealing with that, you deserve better.

Things wrong with TVD series finale

- Stefan died

- Katherine as Elena had a better reunion with Damon than the actual Elena

- Stefan died

- Bonnie didn’t find a way to bring Enzo back

- Stefan d i e d

- Elena and Jeremy didn’t have a scene together

- Stefan still died

- Steroline had such a shitty goodbye

- STEFAN DIED

- The writers left so many unanswered questions

- oh would you look at that, Stefan still died

anonymous asked:

So, when my work cut my hours from the shitty 20 a week to 4 a week, i started looking for a job as a cake decorator at a large retailer. Better pay, better hours. got the job, and left notice at my restaurant that i can only come in for them 2 hours on sunday. Now they're upset that i found another job, and are trying to schedule me more. I already told them i don't have the availability?? they've got a 15 year old working 35 hours because they don't want to spread hours around.

2p's As Things I've Said Part 4

2p America: goddamn Oklahoman wind can suck my clit

2p China: soo do you think if I told her the truth she’d be mad at me? Because I’m about to tell her

2p England: fuck I burnt my hand getting the pan out

2p France: I want to go home and take off my pants

2p Russia: I didn’t get out of bed to hear people act like idiots all day, do your school work

2p Canada: I jokingly asked about the brand of your underwear… you didn’t have to tell me, you know?

2p Germany: she’s mad at me because I woke her up and asked if she wanted burritos

2p Italy: what? You think I’m scared of you just because you’re taller than me

2p Japan: He said “you need to stop taking videos, you fucking suck”

2p Romano: I swear to god the next person to tell me I look like shit will be bitch slapped. I know I look like shit, I am shit

2p Prussia: I’m so ready to fucking sleep

2p Spain: suck on these titties bitch, I don’t need your shitty attitude

( Shocker!! I added Spain!! His name is Andreas)