this is shitty does not equal we have the worse oppression of anyone ever

Anonymous asked: tbh, jeysiec is a woman we should feel sorry for. nothing proves misogyny more than that: she literally puts all her value on the fact that she’s not attractive to men. if that’s not being brainwashed by the patriarchy, idk what is

witwitch:

She is brainwashed by the patriarchy, exactly.

I used to feel sorry for her but that got to be a bit difficult after years of interacting with her. She will never support another woman.

From the top post on her blog right now:

You complained that I was complaining about not receiving male attention and the negative effects that the first group has on me as a result. That isn’t and will never be cool. At all. Never. Literally fucking never.

She literally blames women who complain about cat calling for the shitty way she feels, and I’ve had this conversation with her hundreds of times, she doesn’t think women should ever complain about getting male attention because when women complain about the harassment they face in their own lives, she views it as a personal attack against her.

Her logic is that “pretty” women should shut up and learn to like men’s harassment because otherwise ugly women will be jealous and sad, because ugly women can empathize with the men being rejected and apparently pretty women can’t. Everything is black and white to her, she has no concept of nuance, everyone who has ever gotten a date exists as a stereotype to her.

She thinks women should feel happy and blessed to get attention from any man at any time. You should see her views on the “friendzone” and how when you do nice things for people that means they owe you attention and love.

She is a male supremacist.

What she wants from women is for us to be like, “Yes you are right, male attention is the best thing ever and it totally determines our value!”

What she wants is for women to sit down and shut up and learn to love being harassed, the way she would if she could.

That is what she wants us to say, because she is a male supremacist. She does not want to be helped, not even secretly deep down–she does not want to love herself, she wants other women to hate themselves as much as she does.

She genuinely just wants other women to suffer out of (irrational) jealousy, which she is completely consumed by.

She literally thinks women are just spoiled brats for complaining about harassment. If you try to get her to understand your side, she’ll just say “pot, kettle.” which is the same line she has been doling out for 5 years.

I don’t think i have ever seen anyone stagnate in personal growth as much as she has. She is 33 years old and hasn’t changed a single opinion in the years I have known her.

This is what happens when you do not process out your internalized misogyny. This is what happens when internalized misogyny consumes a woman so completely that she blames other women for her lack of attention from men, that she blames other women for making her feel bad when men are the ones rejecting her and telling her she has no sexual value to them. She is buying in to what patriarchy says, does not question patriarchy, instead blames women for not conforming to it like she would if she could (which she has stated–that she would love to be harassed if it meant she could be pretty to men).

She does not want to be helped. She has made that clear for many years. There was a time when I tried to be her friend and sympathize with her, but she was not interested in anything beyond blind agreement and subscription to her male supremacist dogma.

theunitofcaring:

Okay, you know what? You’re behaving disgustingly here. What jeyseic said:

You should talk about your personal experiences as your personal experiences. You should make it clear that you do not speak directly for anyone but yourself/yourselves.

Because the problem is, you people don’t do that. You go YesAllWomen. You go, “all women are catcalled,” “all women are oppressed by men”, “all women live in fear of men”, all women this, all women this.

And you know what? A lot of us women are really fucking tired of that because it’s toxic towards us. It’s toxic for us who don’t match your damn claims. It’s toxic because we’re erased from sharing our experiences on an equal level. It’s toxic because it makes us feel like there’s something wrong with us as women if we don’t have the same experiences. It’s toxic because sometimes the solutions proposed for your concerns make ours worse. It’s toxic because some of the insults and vilifications you use against men catch us up in it because we share the same traits you’re denigrating. It’s toxic because if we have experiences that don’t match the narratives we get demonized or erased. And so on, and so on.

Especially that last one. For example, I’m a woman who was mostly abused by other women, including all of the physical assault I’ve received being from other women. So the fact that feminists have framed the question of violence against women as being solely about predatory men attacking innocent women is yet another avenue of toxic messages I have to put up with on a regular basis. The toxic messages that my experiences with said violence are lesser or that I’m even making them up. The toxic messages that I’m suffering from “internalized misogyny” for complaining about my experiences.

She wrote several thousand words on this. You don’t have to make ridiculous bullshit claims about what her real agenda is, she is outright telling you. And if someone says they’ve hurting because of the things you’re doing, diagnosing the real problem as being “brainwashed by the patriarchy” and “desperate for male attention” and “a male supremacist” is about as cruel a response as I can imagine.

Sometimes people disagree with you. Sometimes they disagree not because they are pitiable victims but because they are people whose life experiences led them to different conclusions. Sometimes they have considered and rejected the conclusion that they feel the way they do because of internalized misogyny, in which case you should respect that. And regardless of whether you’re capable of respecting that or respecting them, lengthy diatribes about how they are an object lesson about what happens if you fail to reject your internalized misogyny are disgusting behavior.

Also, hi. I agree with everything she says here; I think that not all women are catcalled, that it’s common for women who aren’t catcalled to have shittier lives than women who are catcalled (which doesn’t mean there are any problems that would be solved with more catcalling), and that categorical claims about the experiences of all women are exclusionary and ableist. That #YesAllWomen was a travesty that made me sick to my stomach and made it clear to lots of vulnerable women we would never be respected, valued, or fought for in the feminist movement. And that the focus on violence as a thing men do to women in certain activist spaces provides cover for abusers and bullies and erases the experience of victims of bullying, abuse and violence by women, to the point of making those spaces deeply unpleasant for abuse survivors whose abusers were women.

I’m saying this because I’d rather you levy incredibly insulting, infantilizing, false and vicious personal attacks at me than at jeyseic: she’s already getting anonymous harassment from your delightful followers because of this argument, so surely you’re ready to pick a new target? The fight against catcalling is often framed in a way that actively hurts women, and even at its best does nothing for the most vulnerable ones. Tell me all about how brainwashed I must be.