this is shitty but whatev i loved this part

samwell high school hockey

ie. the one where lardo (the art teacher) convinces jack (the history teacher) to help her and bittle (the home ec teacher) coach the junior girls hockey team at the school they all teach at, and then watches the two of them fall in love, while she deals with her feelings for shitty (the law teacher, who coaches the senior girls hockey team)

(on ao3 here)

Part of the reason why the staff at Samwell High School got along so well, was because everybody knew when to keep their mouth shut.

Nobody asked Ransom and Holster if they were dating yet, and nobody asked Shitty about his family, and nobody said anything when Dex got particularly touchy near the end of the month, when rent was due and they hadn’t been paid in a while, and nobody asked Jack Zimmermann about hockey either.

It was an unspoken rule, and it was one that Larissa Duan had spent her first few years as an art teacher aggressively enforcing, so she was more than a little bit surprised to find that, after all of that, she was the one who was breaking it.

Still, desperate times called for desperate measures, so she squared her shoulders, waited for a group of freshmen to pass her in the hall, and then she knocked on Jack’s classroom door.

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Labor and Toil, Part 4. A Rowaelin Fanfiction.

Hey, sorry this so long! I really don’t know how I feel about the ending, but whatevs, you all will just have to tell me about it. Anyways, here it is, and I will probably do some form of an epilogue or the scene where everybody meets the new Princess, idk. Love you all!!


 Aelin Galathynius was having a shitty day so far.
Even though, soon she supposed, it would be one of the happiest days of her life. But right now, it was pretty shitty.
 With another long groan, she fell back against Rowan, her damn dress damp with sweat. Rowan carefully placed an icy cloth on her brow, murmuring soft words in her ear. She savored the feel of his hands running down her arms in careful, soothing motions. Aelin made herself open her eyes, and found Rowan’s eyes trained on her.

  “What?” She bit out, harsher than she’d meant to.
Rowan pursed his lips, a frown tugging at the corners of his mouth. “How do you feel, Fireheart,” he said with Fae softness.
 She wanted to snap at him, tell him that she felt like she was pushing their child out of her womb, but she leashed herself.
 “I’m tired, sore, and I feel nauseous.” She said plainly, wriggling back against him, leaning her head against his shoulder.
Yrene made a noise from the end of the bed, and got up, getting a glass of water, which she offered to Aelin.  She took it gratefully and sipped from it slowly, the cool water calming her insides. Rowan lifted the cloth again and sent a jolt of ice through it before placing it on the back of her neck. Aelin sighed again, handing the glass back to Yrene, who took it and pressed her fingers into the hollow of her wrist, checking her pulse.
   “You really are doing well, Aelin, and you are moving along quickly, I wouldn’t be surprised if the baby was here by tonight.”
 Aelin nodded, but said nothing, as she could feel her gut begin to tighten and cramp. “Rowan—”
Her mate knew what she couldn’t say, and intertwined his hands with hers’.
 “You can do this, Aelin, breathe,” he murmured in her ear. “You’re doing brilliantly, love.”
Aelin felt something shift, and she let out a scream, pushing as hard as her body would allow. Yrene moved to the end of the bed, bracing her hands on either of Aelin’s shins.
A sharp intake of breath met Aelin’s ears and panic rose in her chest.
  Behind her, Rowan tensed. “What? What’s wrong” He snapped.
Yrene let out a chuckle, and raised her head. “Just keep pushing Aelin, you’re doing wonderfully.”
  Aelin didn’t feel the least bit calmed, but did as she was told, digging her nails into Rowan’s hands as she pushed.
 A savage groan escaped her and she felt her already hot face heat further, but she couldn’t bring herself to care as Yrene gave her a brilliant smile.
 “I see a baby, Aelin.”
Aelin’s words were caught in her throat as she threw back her head against Rowan’s shoulder, tears forming in her eyes as pain ripped through her.
  “You really are almost there, Aelin. I just need a few more pushes, then you can see your baby,” Yrene murmured softly, gesturing for one of the fresh faced young women to come to stand next to her.
 Rowan, she noticed, had gone silent, and she reached a hand back to grab his shoulder. He started a bit, then kissed her hair.
  “I’m fine, Fireheart, don’t worry about me, just focus on the baby, you can do this.” He mumbled into her hair, but Aelin knew his nerves were getting the better of him, but she didn’t say anything. Because the same was going on inside of her, but that didn’t matter, because they’re baby was almost there and Aelin was ready to meet her child.
  So she released Rowan’s shoulder, and inhaled deeply.
“Aelin, when I tell you to push, push. Understand?” Yrene stated, her voice steady and even. Aelin gave a weak nod, and slid her hand back into Rowan’s, the comfort of his scarred skin and callouses calming her.
  But something felt different, something was—
 “Push, Aelin.” Yrene demanded, and Aelin groaned as she pushed, trying not to focus on the insanely uncomfortable feeling. She panted heavily, then hissed as Rowan slid out from behind her.
He came to stand beside her, his eyes burning into hers.
“Keep pushing, Aelin. You are doing beautifully, Princess.”
  Aelin gave a tortured scream as something inside her shifted.
No. No, something was wrong.
 “Yrene,” she gasped, her fingers clutching the sheets.
“Something’s— Not right!” She screamed the last words, fisting a hand in her hair.
  Oh, gods! No, her baby…
Please! Please, she begged the gods, let my baby live, let me live!
Aelin couldn’t form a thought— she couldn’t breathe, to many things were happening. She couldn’t breathe!
Rowan made a small noise, meeting her eyes. “Aelin, you’re going to be fine, don’t think like that—”
But then Yrene was ushering him out of the room, growling just as loudly as Rowan when he began to argue.
“Rowan!” She shouted desperately, wanting to scream at Yrene for forcing him out of the room, but the healer was right.
 Right now, the healers needed the room.
Yrene dashed back to the foot of the bed, running a cool cloth up her leg.
“Aelin, you— Breathe deeply, keep breathing. We are going to deliver this baby, so help me Silba. Sanetur, help the Queen with her breath, Mulier, I want you to help me with the baby, she is coming a bit awkwardly!”
 Aelin vaguely sensed Yrene shouting something else, but she could only focus on the words swirling around in her head.
 Stay, Aelin, don’t leave, not after all we’ve done, stay Aelin. You can do this, love. Keep breathing.
 It was Rowan, through the bond.
“Rowan,” she whispered, fighting fiercely against the darkness that loomed.



   Rowan paced as he heard shouting from the other room.
He fisted a hand in his hair, swallowing once, twice, three times. Just trying to calm himself.
 Oh gods, never in his life had he felt so helpless, so utterly unable.
“Please,” he whispered to the empty room. “Let her live.”
  Another guttural scream echoed in the room and Rowan nearly fell to his knees.
He plopped down on the couch, bowing his head.
“Please, let her and the child live,” he whispered. “Please, please.”
He didn’t even know who he was praying to, and he didn’t even care.
All Rowan Whitethorn wanted to hear was that his wife was all right.
  For another ten gut wrenching minutes, Rowan sat there listening intently, hoping to glean some form information from the near silent room. But then—
 A wail cut through the silence, then hoot of joy. Rowan felt his eyes fill with tears, and he scrambled off the couch, bolting towards the door. His child was on the other side of that door. Rowan began to push open the door, but was met with one of the young healers throwing it open. His breath caught in his throat at the sight of a squirming pink baby in the arms of Yrene.
  “King Rowan, come in!” Yrene shouted, and he stepped to her side, eyes flicking from Aelin to the baby and back again about a million times.
 Aelin was panting, tears streaming down her face as she stretched out a hand for her child.
“Rowan, our baby, let me hold her, please, Rowan.” She begged, tears falling down anew.
But Rowan’s attention caught on that word— her. He glanced back down at the babe, who was being checked by the healers.
 It was indeed a little girl, her head covered in fine silver-white hair— like his own.
He stepped to Aelin’s side, grabbing her hands in his and pressing kisses to her brow.
“Let them check her, Fireheart, let them check, then we can see her.” He murmured, his voice cracking with emotion. The healers began to wipe the babe with a cool cloth, cleaning the child.
 
  Rowan felt the world go silent as Yrene walked to him, holding out the child.
Tears fell down his face as the woman gently deposited the girl in his arms, murmuring something he couldn’t hear. The breath escaped him as the child reached out a clenched fist, gurgling nonsense.
  “Rowan,” Aelin mumbled, reaching out her hands.
   Rowan nodded distantly, turning slightly to place the girl in Aelin’s arms. She was so tiny, and her eyes— they were Aelin’s eyes.
Aelin sobbed as the babe reached out a fist to grasp the finger Aelin had begun to wiggle before the small child.

   Through the haze of his love and utter amazement, Rowan sensed Yrene coaxing something to Aelin’s lips, which she drank without protest. The healer murmured something about being back in a little while, they would need to check Aelin in a few minutes. But the three women left them in near-silence, the only sounds the soft cooing of Aelin as she brushed her fingers along the child’s head.
 Something inside Rowan broke at the fierce love and warmth flowing from Aelin, her eyes
  Rowan sat down gently, trying not to jostle Aelin as he wriggled onto the bed. With a small grunt, she shifted her legs and leaned her head against Rowan’s shoulder. Rowan didn’t think he’d breathed in the past ten minutes.  
 “Name,” he rasped, a hand coming up on its own to settle on Aelin’s hand.
Aelin wet her lips, leaning down to kiss their child. “Evalin? I think it would fit her?” Aelin’s voice was tired, but not weak. No, it was as if the child had sent a jolt of energy through Aelin.
Rowan kissed his mate’s head softly, “Your mother’s?” He paused, running a careful finger across Evalin’s brow.
“A fitting name indeed.”
Aelin huffed a laugh, sniffing delicately as tears started falling again. “She’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen,” Aelin breathed.
 All Rowan could do was nod.
   Rowan Whitethorn Galathynius had been on the earth for over three hundred years, and in that moment, watching his wife kiss their baby girl’s forehead was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.



   Aelin Galathynius was tired, more so then she wanted to admit, but she stayed awake, talking quietly with Rowan as the healers did a final check on Evalin, and looked her over. They gave her a bitter tasting tea that was supposed to help any bleeding, and a mild pain tonic, soon after they left, murmuring their blessings as they went.
 Aelin sighed in contentment as she held Evalin to her breast, sleep tugging at her eyes. Through her exhaustion, she felt Rowan shift a bit behind her.
“Rowan?” She mumbled, her tongue heavy in her mouth.
“Hmm?”
“I want a message sent to Lys and Aedion, and one to the Cadre. Tell them it’s a girl, and that we’ll see them tomorrow,” she paused thinking. Maybe it was selfish of her, but right now, she couldn’t bear the thought of anyone interrupting their little bubble of solitude. “Tell them not to worry.”
 Rowan hummed and slid out from behind her, puffing the pillows around her before allowing her to lay back.
He looked her over, his eyes lingering on the child currently suckling at her breast. He leaned in, kissing her softly.
“You’re beautiful. Both of you.”
Aelin smiled tiredly against his soft lips, “I still feel as though I’ve swallowed Abraxos.”
 Rowan brushed a hand through his hair, the same color as their daughter’s, “Maybe, but you are still the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen, Aelin.”
  Her cheeks flushed, but she rolled her eyes, shifting Evalin a bit. “Get the message sent, I don’t want them stampeding in here.”
Rowan chuckled, and crossed the room to jot down the note on a spare bit of parchment. Aelin watched as Rowan stepped out the door.
Aelin leaned down, kissing Evalin’s brow. The little girl gave a wet gurgle of laughter, and Aelin felt tears well in her eyes again.
 She adjusted the blanket swaddling Eva, “How you doing, sweetie? Daddy will be back in a minute.”
   Aelin smiled widely as Evalin went back to her breast, and suddenly Aelin felt the enormity of what she just done.
She just brought a child, a little girl into this world, and now she sat with her daughter and her husband in their chambers.
  A trill of laughter escaped her lips and as Rowan stepped back in, he cocked a brow. “What?”
Aelin shook her head, “Nothing, come back to bed.”
 Rowan gave a brisk nod, and walked to the other side of the bed, sliding in next to her. Aelin watched as Rowan smoothed a gentle hand over Evalin’s small head, his face soft and gentle, a new sort of grin tugging at his lips.
 “You have made me the luckiest male to have ever walk this earth, Aelin.”
Aelin closed her eyes against the tears that threatened to spill, and leaned her head against Rowan’s shoulder.
 “I love you, Rowan.”
“I love you, too.”
Aelin felt Evalin pull away, gurgling a soft noise before nuzzling back against Aelin.
“I think that’s her way of saying ‘I love you’.” Rowan mumbled into her hair.
   Aelin could only mumble her agreement before she nodded off.



  Rowan watched as sleep seeped over Aelin, her head pressing into his shoulder. With a quiet laugh, he eased them both back into the pillows. He stayed up until Yrene came knocking, asking to check on Aelin once more.
The healer quickly did her work, then reminded Rowan he should get some sleep. Rowan nodded slowly, then looked down at Aelin and Eva.
  “Does Aelin need to nurse tonight? Does Eva sleep with Aelin?” Rowan felt a blush creep up his neck. He should know this.
 But Yrene gave him a gentle smile, “I’ll lay the babe down, you sleep. If Eva needs to nurse, which she will, she’ll fuss. Wake Aelin, she’ll know what to do.”
Rowan nodded, watching as Yrene gently scooped the sleeping girl out of Aelin’s arms. Evalin didn’t stir, but Aelin jerked awake.
“Is everything okay? Yrene?”
Rowan laid a hand on Aelin’s arm, “We’re putting Eva to bed, Aelin.”
  His wife nodded, her eyes still flickering over to Eva.
Rowan tracked Yrene as she gently placed the still sleeping babe in the crib. “Aelin, if you feel any discomfort or feverish, contact me. I’ll be here in the morning, after you see me you can have visitors. None before.”
Aelin gave a weak nod and closed her eyes, wriggling back into the pillows. Yrene smiled at the now-dozing queen. “Make sure she drinks plenty of water, King, she’s lost lots of fluids. And she’ll need to eat a good meal in the morning, it’s been a while since she’s eaten.”
Rowan bit his lip, Aelin hadn’t eaten all day. He’d make sure she got something in the morning.
“And make sure Evalin sleeps on her back, nothing in the crib with her.” Yrene began towards the door.
  “And Rowan,” she looked back at him, a threat in her eyes. He braced himself.
“I mean it about no visitors. Aelin needs rest, as does the baby. I’ve already had Aedion and Lysandra at my door needling me for details.”
Rowan let out a quiet laugh. He didn’t doubt that one bit.
“Good night, Rowan. Get some sleep, you’ll need it.”
Rowan bid the woman goodnight and began shucking off his clothes. In his undershorts, he slipped into bed, next to Aelin. Brushing a chaste kiss over her brow, he tucked the blankets around Aelin, and with half a thought he snuffed out all the candles in the room.
  With his thought’s whirring in his mind, and love flowing from his heart, Rowan Galathynius closed his eyes, the image of Aelin holding their child in her scarred arms flickering in his mind.

okay so shitty comes over unannounced one night right

and he brings a six pack and some pizza and wings and a movie (legally blonde) that holster recommended and also a laptop because let’s face it jack doesn’t have a tv.

and so he shows up at jack’s apartment and he’s like “man, i haven’t seen you in forever, just the two of us whatever happened to jack and shitty bonding time??” and jack’s like “shitty i saw you last monday” but shitty comes in anyway

and so shitty “forces” jack to watch the movie (bc i mean come on who doesn’t love legally blonde) and they get to the part where elle is buying a laptop in her bunny outfit and jack can’t help thinking about bitty because bitty loves bunnies and he’d probably like this movie when shitty spills blue cheese all over himself 

and jack goes to get a towel to clean up the mess and shitty’s like “it’s chill i’ll just borrow one of your shirts if it’s okay” and so he opens one of jack’s drawers?? and all he sees are?? shorts?? tiny little shorts that he’s certain jack has never worn because he’d have pictures if he did?? 

and then jack comes racing in the room and shitty’s like “brah?? what are these” and all jack can think to say is “they’re for you” and shitty is so grateful?? and he hugs jack and puts them on and jack is like???

and so one day shitty comes to the haus to pick up lardo in the shorts jack “gave” him and bitty chirps jack about it for a month

Don't screw with the designated driver.

(warning: long story)

This tale of petty revenge takes place in Perth, Australia in the early nineties, so put on some Pearl Jam and let me take you on a ride.

It was my younger brother’s birthday, so to celebrate my brother-in-law and I arranged to take him out to a Chinese restaurant in the city along with some of his friends.

Said friends arrived and the subject of who would be the designated driver was raised. I was ready to volunteer, but before I could say anything my brother-in-law essentially tossed my car keys in my general direction and declared my role to be skipper for the evening. Okay, fine, whatever, it was my brother’s night.

Everyone crowded into my shitty little Mazda 323 hatchback (held together with love and duct-tape) and the evening’s festivities were in motion.

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2

“Please be careful,” she said. Draco looked almost amused. “It’s nice that you’re concerned.”
Ginny’s next words came out of her mouth without any foreknowledge on her part that she was about to speak them. “I am concerned,” she said. “I love you.”
His head jerked up and he stared at her, an expression of absolute astonishment on his face. She stared back. She would have thought she would be fighting to keep her expression neutral, but really she only felt very calm. She had said it. Let him do with it whatever he wanted. Although really, he must have known. How could he not? When he replied, it was with only one word, and not the one she was expecting. “Why?”

absolutely shitty pic bc i was on laptop but yeah retainers part 4

in my notes i found zeros description as ‘that weird hot relative nobody likes but he shows up anyway’ so he may be that shady sadistic uncle/cousin/whatever who just comes, beats up a few nerds, brings a few presents of suspicious origins and leaves

gunther is an old veteran uncle everyone loves as he is good with the kids

and harold that big loud soccer uncle. you know the one. everyone loves him too despite his bad luck

I know this is completely out of nowhere but can I just say I love this fandom and being a part of it? Like it’s a small fandom and I recognize a lot of you just from always reblogging my things from my shit blog, or from your posts and it makes me feel so welcome and part of a community and I’m just sitting here like “omg I’m part of something” and hoping that I made some other people feel the same and it’s just like asdfghjkll- 

TL;DR : This fandom and all of you are cool as f and I appreciate it. Thank you