this is shit isn't it :(

I’ve had the worst two years of my life (and that’s saying something) but earlier this year I found something that made me feel like I had a purpose, like me still being here mattered even just a little. My life revolved around it; it centered me. No matter how bad everything else got, I still had that. Then it got taken away and I just…I’m spiraling. I don’t know how else to describe it. It all feels so pointless now. Everything.

I checked myself into the hospital on Tuesday night because I thought it was the best and safest place for me to be, but being here hasn’t helped. I’ve been sobbing non-stop for three entire days, I haven’t slept, I haven’t eaten, I can’t remember having an anxiety/panic attack until this morning or if I have it’s never been that intense, my entire body has been shaking for hours and I can’t make it stop even though the nurses gave me meds to calm me down.

Until this week I’ve always found the dumbest reasons to not entirely lose it no matter how shitty my life got, but I think this finally broke me.

“What’s the point?”

I keep asking myself that over and over trying to come up with some answer and for once I’m drawing a blank. I thought there was one, but I don’t think that’s true for me anymore. Maybe I was wrong before. I don’t know. I actually don’t anymore.

Today’s the day I finally,finally got my certificate in the mail that allows me to apply to college!

My one year long internship ended over two months ago and since then it’s been a back and forth with the authorities,it’s been so stressful but now I’m finally holding it in my hands.

Every single stressful thought I ever had about this since I left school is just gone.

I’m so fucking happy.

anonymous asked:

I'm not transphobic but there's no way the transgendered peter parker headcanon would work in the way of physical appearance, there's no way a trans guy could every achieve the muscles that are required of Spider-Man or any superhero. I'm not transphobic, but you trans guys will always have feminine builds and it isn't realistic for you to say that transgenders could look like buff superheroes or even just strong men. Sorry.

okay putting aside the fact that you are blatantly transphobic despite how much you say “i’m not transphobic” and also putting aside the fact that while peter parker does develop muscle definition he is still known for being very small and lean even after being bitten by the spider, let’s just take a look at some trans guys who will never be able to have the physique of superheroes or of strong men in general:

and that’s just a few of the many trans guys in this world, some of which are fat, or skinny, or curvy, or muscular as fuck – you know, like any other human being. can cis people stop acting like they know shit about what trans people look like.

Lars of the Stars

Your two complicated sons

Expectations:

Reality:

it never ceases to amaze me when gbtq dudes who understand the concept of saying “i hate straight people/i hate cis people” as a way to vent frustration with a homo/transphobic culture and not a direct statement about individually hating every straight/cis person in the world still shit themselves when women (esp lbtq women) say “i hate men”

and when i say it amazes me i mean it doesn’t surprise me at fucking all

A doodle of a Dab for all your fast dabs needs

@the tower of joy
  • Lyanna Stark: *dying* Ned, please promise me you'll take care of him
  • Ned Stark: *holding little baby Jon* I promise Lya
  • Lyanna: You know Rhaegar probably would have wanted to name him something Targaryen sounding, like Jaeharys or Aemon or something...
  • Ned: Jaeharys is okay I guess-
  • Lyanna: But fuck that bitch, my baby's name is Jon