this is shit but i already made it so

anonymous asked:

Please tell your children not to touch me!!! I'm not good with people touching me in general but I'm even more in the "can't say much" boat when kids are involved- customers have already lied and said I made their kids cry to try and get free shit, so I'm extra cautious about any little thing they could run with. But don't let them keep grabbing me!! Teach them about boundaries and consent please!! Or else you'll get mad about me parenting your gotdam spawn

anonymous asked:

That "Feels" song would be better if Rihanna was the singer and Lorax wasn't in it. Pharrell is the only good thing about that song. Like KP is a good singer but the auto tune on her voice was unnecessary and she just didn't vibe with what Pharrell was already doing. A song with these two should have been much better than "Feels". And what was with the bargain basement discount bin music video. It made the song worse. It's so cheap and corny looking. No wonder the song is #43 on iTunes.

All I see is the #43 on iTunes chart 😁.
I’m satisfied already 😆

A song made by 3 assholes who shit on TS deserves that # spot 😁. They deserve all the flop in the world 😊.

10

all my friends are stressed up to their eyeballs right now, and as it’s exam season hell in the UK, i made a ““helpful”” powerpoint about it. ft. shitty clipart. on a calming pink background b/c it’s pretty and i like it
Enjoy my friends, i hope this helps :)

10

I HAVEN’T BEEN ON TUMBLR IN FOREVER SO TAKE THIS AS MY APOLOGY- So yeah i made a ton of klangst :’) So here’s the gist: Keith’s fear is to be rejected by someone he truly loves (cough Lance cough). And so he had a nightmare where Lance had gotten a concussion and suffered from amnesia, which is what I’m calling this little thing lol (DISCLAIMER: I hand’t realized until after I had already sketched that the end dialogue is kinda from Dirty Laundry, and I’d like to note that that’s not what happened, I had just thought ‘oh hey this is really angsty I’ll put that in there until i realized ‘oh shit that already exists’ so yeah, sorry about that ;v; DO NOT STEAL/COPY/TRACE ANYOF MY ART: PLEASE GIVE CREDIT IF REPOSTED

4

hush little baby, don’t say a word
and never mind that noise you heard
it’s just the beasts under your bed
in your closet, in your head

Coffee Shop AUs I need as someone who works in a coffee shop

AUs where both of them are baristas:

  • AU where business is really slow so Person A and Person B start doodling on the hot sleeves for the cups and compete to see whose doodles the customers like better and then A starts doodling on B like hearts or some cute shit

  • The new manager (Person C) is an Asshole and is making them scrub the floor with bleach (been there, done that, it sucks) and they bond over complaining about C
  • Dealing !!! with annoying customers!!!! And standing up for each other/bonding over the assholes! Example annoying customers from my experience as a barista:
    • That customer who orders a cappuccino not knowing what it is and then getting upset when its not a latte (u baristas out there feel me)
    • when you run out of somehthing (like cold brew or the sodas in the cooler)  and they ask you to look in the back and then throw a fit bc they don’t get what they want (this happened to me once, a grown ass man threw a tantrum bc we didn’t have milk for his goddam cookies tf)
    • when you make them wait for more than two seconds to take their order/ make their drink and they get pissy
    • when its slow and the customer watches you make the drink and start making comments like bitch let me do mmy job
  • Person A and B don’t normally work the same shift but A is covering for C and goddam, B is fucking cute
  • when there’s a rush and the cafe is understaffed so its just A and B and they have to work together to make like seventeen drinks and personal space stops existing bc you gotta get those drinks made ASAP ( I can’t count the amount of times my coworkers and i have been all up in each other;s space trying to work around each other to make drinks). Bonus points if A is already pining for B and is getting flustered about close quarters. Extra bonus points if B notices and starts being a llittle shit about it and gets even more in A’s space ;)))
  • bonding over making fun of ridiculously specific drink orders (not until the customer is gone tho don’t be rude)
  • A is new and B teaches them how to make drinks and shows them the ropes and maybe starts flirting bc the newbie is a hottie ;)
  • when the rest of their coworkers + manager ship it
  • When regular customer (Person C) comes in and makes chit chat and assumes A and B are dating and one (or both) get flustered
  • CLOSING TOGETHER AND BEING ABANDONED BY THEIR COWORKERS TO CLEAN THE FUCKKNG DISHES AND IT TAKES FOREVER AND THEY BOND OVER THE FACT THAT THEIR COWORKERS ARE ASSHOLES WHO LEFT THEM ALL THE CLEANING TO DO
  • I need more coffee shops AUswhere theyre both baristas @ fanfic writers pls

Baby Girl (Jungkook/Reader)

Prompt: May I request a Jungkook smut in which you are bf and he has always seen you just as a kid because you’re younger than him. He doesn’t mind being shirtless around you or you hearing him talk about the last night’s girl with a friend. To the point of you getting so frustrated about him not treating you as a woman and plainly thinking of you as his cute and innocent girl friend that one day you start dry humping him saying something along the lines: do I still look that innocent to you (oppa)? thx

Genre: Smut, Slight Angst, Slight Humor, College!Au, Best Friends!Au

Words: 3.5K+

Author: Admin Nan

Summary: It was a boiling summer day you realized your attraction for the cute, older boy next door. 

Tags: Swearing, Dry humping, Thigh riding, Sub!Kook, Oppa, Park Jimin - Reader Discretion is advised.

Originally posted by jeonsshi


Keep reading

the best parts of the raven boys (featuring me crying)

- adam and ronan literally dragging each other on moving dollys behind the bmw like what nerds

- “if it had a social security number, ronan had fought with it”

- noah told them like 400 times that he was dead why was this news

- ronan being so extra about picking fights with declan. school? sure. monmouth? hell yea. nino’s parking lot? let’s fuckin go!!!

- the first thing blue ever sees ronan do is run into the light hanging above the booth at nino’s #clumsygay™

- ronan’s number on the nino’s bathroom stall door (honestly what the fuck)

- president cell phone

- gansey describing his friends as “the sulky one” and “the smudgy one”

- take a shot every time blue or adam call gansey condescending 

Keep reading

bad | 07

  He was the cliché bad boy. He was the guy you couldn’t stand. He was the handsome, hot kid who made girls go weak in the knees. He was a brat. You had never liked him one bit, but you had also never gotten involved with anything concerning him. Until one day, when you were in the wrong place, at the wrong time.

Originally posted by mvssmedia

MEMBER: jeon jungkook x reader (ft. kim taehyung)

GENRE: smut, romance, fluff

WORDS: 10 243

WARNINGS: mature & sexual content, profanity, dirty talk & other filth

| 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07coming soon

A/N: please beat my ass for taking over a fucking month with this. hopefully it was worth the wait tho ;). writing this killed me.

Keep reading

let me help you fall in love with tanaka’s character (i’m gonna cut some parts from the first volume of the manga).

this is tanaka ryunosuke. he appears for the first time in the manga on vol 1 . he’s a second year and as you can see, he’s got that delinquent boy look going on. oh, and you’re gonna see that facial expression a lot, it’s his signature. it’s meant to intimidate people, but, no, just no, it’s hilarious af. 

guys, guys, guys, tanaka is a dork. we love dork characters, right?

he’s so simple minded. he’s just like bokuto. i’m dying.

whether you’ve watched the anime or you’re reading the manga, you probably know that the weird duo knocks off the vice principal wig, leading to daichi kicking them out of the gym. this scene is right before any of that happens. daichi is trying to talk to hinata and kageyama, but they’re just too absorbed in arguing that they do not hear him. tanaka is scolding them because daichi san is talking. he respects the third years a lot and wants the first years to respect them as well. we love respectful characters, right?

and here is the part where i start talking about how good of a senpai (and a person) tanaka is. this guy wakes up at 4 to let those two practice in the gym without daichi knowing (heh). this is obviously not the only time tanaka looks out for his kouhais. there are so many scenes in which you can see tanaka taking care of the kids. my favorite one? it’s probably the one from the OVA. if you still haven’t watched it, go watch it, because if you still think that tanaka’s nothing more than a funny gag, you’ll understand that you’re wrong. so wrong.

he is such a caring person. karasuno, his teammates mean so much to him. when hinata and kageyama don’t pass their exams, they need to re-do it, but in order to practice with the others in tokyo they need a ride. in the OVA you see tanaka asking his sister if she can do this favor for him, at first she tells him no because it’s an at least four hours drive, but then she sees her brother counting his savings. guys, guys, guys, here me out, tanaka’s willing to use his own money for hinata and kageyama. unfortunately he doesn’t have enough, but do you know what he does to provide a ride for them? he kneels in front of his sister and begs her. and he did not tell anyone how hard it was for him to provide a ride for hinata and kageyama. y’know, he deserves being called tanaka senpai by everyone everyday of his life, tanaka is the man

but this, this is probably what i like the most about him. this is just an example, okay? here we have tsukishima, telling them about kageyama’s nickname. tanaka has never liked people talking shit about others. look at his expression, he’s mad. he’s gonna scold tsukishima, but daichi stops him. this happens not a lot, but a shit amount of lots. tanaka is always ready to shut up people who belittle others. he steps up for kageyama, he is always there for hinata, he’s always ready to say “no, don’t say that you’re great” whenever someone is self depricating or he’s ready to fight whenever they talk shit of his friends. he’s such a good character, guys. 

(oh, and have i already told you how strong this person is? when oikawa’s targeting him he puts himself together. all by himself. most players wouldn’t be able to do that, they’d be so down because they’d made a lot of mistakes, but tanaka? not tanaka, bitch. tanaka is stronger than that. tanaka is better than that. tanaka slaps himself and receives that powerful serve.)

tanaka is in my top 5 favorite haikyuu characters and now you kinda know why. i think there’s so much more i need to say, but this post is getting too long. but please, give a little love to tanaka ryunosuke. call him tanaka senpai. he deserves it.

“I’ve been sitting here for three hours trying to figure out what to do.  I need to make a sale.  Rent is due in a week and I don’t have the money.  I’m already starting to miss payments on a loan I took out recently.  I made two cold calls today and both of them went like shit.  I’d never do anything bad to get money, but who knows.  I’m beginning to dread going home.  My kids are small and want …to be with me all the time, but I’m so stressed that I have no patience.  I’ve been losing my temper easily.  We were at my brother-in-law’s house this weekend, and he’s doing much better than I am.  His kids have a bunch of toys.  My son kept begging me to buy the same stupid little toy truck that his cousin had.  And I yelled at him to forget it.  I only had enough money in my pocket to get us home.”

(Lima, Peru) See More

alright! *cracks knuckles* let’s talk about klance! i know all these points have been made in other posts but i’m just irritated and want to make my own post lmfao. i don’t understand people who say keith and lance don’t have any chemistry/potential/”romantic” moments…like…are you watching the same show that i’m watching? you don’t have to like the ship, dude, but there is no denying there’s something going on.

lance, your bi is showing.

do i even need to talk about the, “we are a good team” scene? this was ridiculously gay. holy fuck. tender hand holding. EVEN THE WAY KEITH SAYS LANCE’S NAME IS TENDER. they just sit there holding hands the whole time. they could have let go, either one of them could have let go, dude. keith wasn’t helping lance up. he kneeled down next to him and just…fucking held his hand? those soft smiles? lance doing the “fond eyebrow raise”? gay. and i know the purple lighting is from the galra crystal, but like…wow this whole set up was romantic as hell. seriously, sit back and imagine if one of them were a girl. boom, romantic. everyone would see it. so why is it so hard for some of y’all to see it here? not to mention the fact that we never actually saw the supposed “cradling” (i refuse to believe “I cradled you in my arms!” refers to this hand holding. there has to be more. a full on cradle). that was probably so fucking gay. AND THE EPISODE RIGHT AFTER, WHEN LANCE IS IN THE HEALING POD, KEITH BEING AN IMPATIENT LITTLE FUCK, FULL ON POUTING, TAPPING THE POD BECAUSE ALLURA WON’T LET LANCE OUT OF IT YET. EVEN THOUGH SHE SAID “JUST A FEW MORE TICKS.”

like, this boy can’t even fucking wait a few ticks because he just wants to see lance. there is no way to deny that he wants to see lance, talk to him, probably about their bonding moment. i bet he thinks everything is going to be different between him and lance now. 

he’s also the last one to walk away from the pod. *eye emoji* why did they choose to show that? what was the Point? then, when lance comes out of the healing pod, keith gets this precious little smile on his face. he’s happy to see him. looking forward to talking about feelings and shit, most likely.

but! lance instantly flirts with allura and keith just says, “Classic.” he then proceeds to look salty as fuck with his signature broody arm crossing included. this poor boy. you’re killing him lance, you really are.

not to mention the many other times he has appeared jealous when lance is flirting. (”Jealousy, thy name is Keith.”) i’m not posting screencaps of all those moments because i’m so lazy and like i said, all these points have been made in other posts and i got other shit i’m focusing on. 

here it is, the iconic, “We had a bonding moment! I cradled you in my arms!” scene. listen. i honestly can’t even think of a reason why keith would bring this up, unless he has a big fat crush on lance. it just did not fit into the conversation at all. let me type it out for y’all even though you probably don’t need me to. we’ve analyzed this to hell and back already but…

Lance: “Wow. Thanks, everybody. Sounds like the mice did more than you, though.”
Keith: “I punched Sendak!”
Lance: “Yeah, apparently after I emerged from a coma and shot his arm off.”
Keith, looking completely fucking devastated: “We had a bonding moment. I cradled you in my arms!” (his voice CRACKS)

honestly, he looks like he just witnessed his world fall apart around him. #mood

i don’t know about you, but this would not be my reaction unless, like i said, i had a big fat crush on the other person. he looks so betrayed, oh my god. and lance…wow. lance says, “Nooope. Don’t remember, didn’t happen.” now, is it just me or is this totally lance being a little shit about the fact that keith didn’t remember him in the first episode when they’re saving shiro? i bet it is.

alright, now this here, this is my favorite. this screenshot is titled “GAY this is so fucking GAY” in my files because um? their faces? those are very fond and tender expressions. this whole scene was so gay i stg. keith was flirting up a storm with this boy and it was amazing. let’s not forget that the planet lance was on with nyma highkey had the bi flag colors and there was two rainbows in this episode. symbolism, guys. these things mean a lot and are very important in animation. (there’s a lot more symbolism that many people have pointed out, including what i said above but my ass don’t have the time to put them all here)

the flirtation is strong in this one. here’s some more moments (i probably didn’t put them all idk i can’t remember) where keith is either a) flirty or b) looking at lance with that oh so soft expression. he doesn’t really look at any of the other characters like this (definitely not at allura lmfao), at least not that i’ve noticed. correct me if i’m wrong. 

wow keith you’re soooo cool…

a very underappreciated Soft Look.

this whole scene kills me every time, i love everything about it.

PROUD OF LANCE FOR COMING UP WITH A SICK ASS PLAN!

this still haunts me. it haunts all of us. why!!! did!!! he!!! say!!! it!!! like!!! that!!! you can hear the winky face in his voice. the way he says this is equivalent to 100 winky faces. if you don’t think this is blatant flirting, you’re a lost cause.

of course you were. of course. you want his attention. it’s okay, we know, lance.

LOOK AT THAT SMIRK KEITH IS SPORTING!!! anyways, that is the face of someone flirting. i make the same damn face keith makes when i flirt. if one of them were a girl, IT WOULDN’T EVEN BE A QUESTION. IT WOULD BE OBVIOUS FLIRTING AND PEOPLE WOULD SHIP THE HELL OUT OF IT. but no, they’re two boys. dudes bein’ dudes. just guys bein’ bros. wow, what a great bromance.

now, just for shits and giggles, let us compare how keith looks when he’s literally cradling allura in his arms vs. when he’s holding hands with lance.

he deadass looks like this -_- with allura. there’s actually a fucking…slight frown on his face now that i really look at it, oh my god. even when allura removes herself and blushes, he still looks like that. now, wouldn’t you think that, hm…if they wanted it to be known that keith wants to smooch allura, they’d at least put a slight blush on his face to match allura’s or maybe have him appear to be a little flustered? 

he’s gay. i can’t imagine him not being gay. (imo, him being galra is a big metaphor for him being gay. coming to terms with who he is and “coming out” to the other paladins. everything hunk says to him in “The Belly of the Weblum” are common things straight people say to gay people. a lot of people in the fandom seem to agree with this, but maybe we’re all just reaching idk) i just feel like…someone who likes girls would have a different reaction than keith’s when faced with a beautiful girl like princess allura in their arms. yeah, i know, this has already been said. but!!! it’s!!! true!!! all of their “romantic” scenes together were awkward, forced and came right out of nowhere and keith just…had no reaction. compare that to all the faces he’s made at lance. yeah. the difference is ridiculously obvious.

there’s honestly so much more i want to add to this, stuff from the comics and more subtle things (including a screencap of lance’s face in “Escape from Beta Traz” when he’s talking about keith and how he does cool shit. boy had the most fond expression known to man. u know the one), but everything has already been said by someone else. i’ll end it by saying this, again, because i’m really fucking salty: if one of these boys were a girl, there would be ZERO question about the purpose of these interactions. it would all be seen as flirting and romantic. it’s such a common trope. red and blue. fire and ice. they balance each other out. peace the heck out.

The Backflip Bandit

So I had mentioned to a friend of mine that I was reopening a Pathfinder campaign and he showed interest in joining, so I gave him a trial run. If he liked it then he could stay. He made a Rogue Elf and wanted to be a generic thief. Since all the other players are level 5 already I gave all the new characters a good bit of downtime to catch up, so that means mostly 1 on 1 sessions of 90% improv with maybe some other players watching. A little note about this kid is he is a bit unpredictable when he is upset, and one of our other PCs just messed with him and threw him in a garbage can.

Me(DM): So you are in a Garbage can, what do you do?

Rogue: I sleep here for 12 hours…

Me: Ok… 12 hours pass, what do you do next..?

Rogue: I get up and look for some food.

Me: You smell freshly baked bread and follow the smell to a bakery.

Rogue: I sit down and smell for a half hour.

Me: Right… people look at you weirdly as you sniff the air for 30 minutes.

Rogue: I ask the lady behind the counter for a cake.

Me: She offers you one fresh cake for 10 gold.

Rogue: I buy it to go and take the cake.

Me: Ok.

Rogue: I roll acrobatics to do a backflip out of the store…*fails*

Me: … you try to backflip with a cake in your hands, but you instead land face first into the cake, hurting yourself.

Rogue: I sit there and shovel cake into my mouth in self pity.

Me: … everyone who sees you wonders if you are alright.

Rogue: I get up and smash my face through the display case…*fails strength check*

Me: You bounce your head off the glass.

Rogue: I do it again…*fails*

Me: Everyone is wondering if you are mentally insane.

Rogue: One more time…*succeeds*

Me: Everyone looks in shock as you smash your face through solid glass, taking 4 damage.

Rogue: I steal a cake from the display case and attempt to backflip out of the store…*succeeds*

Me: Everyone is too scared and confused to notice that you just stole a cake.

Rogue: I sprint down the road holding the cake high above my head until I reach the river. I roll acrobatics to cross the river with a backflip. *Crits*

Me(clearly confused and shocked): You make it across the river without getting wet, cake completely intact.

Rogue: I run to the farmland and look for animals… *succeeds*

Me: You find some cows..?

Rogue: Perfect…I place the cake on the ground and roll to tip the cow by backflipping over it…*SUCCEEDS*

Me: The cow has been tipped, it thrashes about on the ground for a while…

Rogue: I go back to pick up the cake and sit down next to the cow. I shovel some cake in my hand and ask the cow if it wants any…*Fails Handle Animal*

Me: The cow hoofs you in the butt from its downed position.

Rogue: Oh well, more for me.

This was an extremely random and exhausting encounter, I had no idea what to say or do after this. However, after he got this out of his system he became a little more serious and actually did some roguish things.

To this day he is referred to as “The Backflip Bandit” and rolls acrobatics for backflips CONSTANTLY to retain his title.