((I’m so, so sorry for being so inactive lately, it might sound weird that I feel guilty for something like that, but yes I do, I really, really do.
A lot of stuff has been going on lately with me, both online and in real life and I’m pretty much emotionally drained right now at this point. I can no longer focus on stuff whether that would be talking, writing, drawing, rp’ing, gaming or whatever else. So please, do not feel like I’m ignoring you, I have a lot on my head as of right now.
Yes, school plays a part in this, but it’s not only that. I have interns coming up and I’m literally sending solicitation letters out like crazy and next week I will even get a solicitation.
But that isn’t everything, a lot of the stuff also comes from online. All I’m trying to do is have a good time, to get along with people, to have fun roleplaying, to get to know new people and whatever else there can be done out there. I’m not here to pick sides, to chose between friends, to go with the popular headcanons, to call headcanons canon, to like problematic stuff, to spread hate, to talk behind a person’s back, etc.
If I ever, ever do any of these things, then I’m not, I repeat not doing it on purpose and you can just come to me, ask what it was about. Likely I will see my mistakes and apologize immediately. Because hurting people, or making them uncomfortable is the last thing I wanted to do.
It hurts me that people are talking behind my back, spreading lies about me. It hurts me, that people believe those lies and just start disliking me without even asking me about it first. It hurts me that people, people who I get along with, are blocking me out of nowhere, without even telling me why. It hurts me, that people are literally telling me that I should headcanon said and said headcanon because they are canon according to me. It hurts me that I just can’t have my freedom of expressing myself, without feeling like I’m in danger.
I feel so stressed lately just by seeing stuff on my desk, just by hearing things, that sometimes I literally start panicking. At this point I’m so extremely scared that everything I say is wrong, that everything hurts people, that everyone is getting tired, bored or growing annoyed by me. And I don’t want that, and if that’s the case, I’m deeply, deeply sorry, ya’ll.))