this is really horrible i'm sorry

anonymous asked:

I'm sorry to bother you, but do things really get better? I'm 16 right now and everything I know is sadness and exhaustion and anger and then I talk to my parents and they just complain about adult life... is it worth it to go on?

oh gosh, i promise, it’s worth waiting, buddy. i know there are a lot of people who say, oh it gets better. and it does in some ways, but what it really gets is different. the people who are angry and mean and horrible often stay that way. the people who cut you off or who flip you off or who piss you off often are the same people at 16 as at 26. 

i think i hated people telling me “it gets better” because what could get better about being a mentally ill queer cuban girl in a world that wanted to eat me. i got spat out. my writing isn’t published because i’ve been rejected so many times i don’t even notice anymore. i was told a few times “make it less obviously homosexual”. what is going to get better about that, i said to myself. the memory of it will never be a nice one.

things got different slowly. like i didn’t realize until i was far on the other side of it. i wasn’t kidding in that last post when i said today i read my writing at 15 and it was painfully obvious how depressed i was. i didn’t have a diagnosis. like you, all i knew was that i was exhausted and angry and sad all the time and when i talked about it, i was told “everyone feels that way sometimes.” i felt that way all the time. in this story, i don’t suddenly wake up after turning 18 and have a magical life where it is all bunnies and flowers and loving. it took me 3 years of trying before i finally managed to quit self-harm completely. my eating disorder and i are still not on speaking terms, luckily. i’m slowly getting a handle on my ocd. i didn’t realize that the biggest thing that was changing was me.

yeah. being out of the house made it easier. away from where people knew me as a certain person. being someone new or being who i was or being in a room full of people who didn’t care how gay i was. being in control made it better. finding real and true friends made it better. being able to make my own plans and choose my own story and do more than just wait until i was old enough to be taken seriously - it got better.

but honestly it’s me. i learned how to shake hands with depression, he and i are such good old buddies i sometimes see him before he’s even coming. and i’ve gotten so good at getting out of his embrace, because practice makes perfect, same as anything. and i’ve learned things about myself i had no idea about at 16. i didn’t even realize i’m funny. i had never been skinny dipping. my only kiss had been sort of an accident. there was a lot i cared about then that i don’t care about now, because in my new world outside of that, the people i surround myself with don’t care either. i’ve worn a dinosaur onesie pajama set to eight parties now when 19 year old me wouldn’t be seen without her makeup. i wear glasses in public even though i’m nervous they make me look like a bug. i have tattoos and new piercings and a bank account (and no money) and i have love. and i don’t mean with a partner, although i’m blessed enough to say i have that as well - i mean. i just found it. i taught myself how to look for it. i figured - listen, i’m here still, so i might as well, like, try to enjoy it. and it wasn’t overnight. it still goes away sometimes. but i love so much and so easily now. i laugh more because of it. i let myself love dogs and movies and silly things. and this love sort of … makes things better. because it reflects off of everything into you. like a mirror.

at sixteen… at sixteen i was very suicidal. i didn’t know that it applied to me, because i thought i was just annoying and lazy. looking back now i always pull a face at how obvious it was, and how close i got to walking myself into a grave. it was more than a close call. death, like, waved. i actually believed i wouldn’t make it past 18. what was the point? what was the point of anything? i think if i’d told myself then, “it gets better”, i would have laughed. “maybe for you!” i would have said, “you have money and a life and you’re not like this.” but it did get better. in inches. stick around to see it. stick around to see everything wonderful that’s waiting in the wings for you. that knows your name. a fate of beautiful moments that are small and precious, like butterflies landing on fingers or snowflakes on tongues, or just sitting with a good book during the rainfall. hell, stick around to write the book, because (trust me), if you believe in your art and yourself - it can be done.

stick around most of all because what gets better is you fall in love with yourself. the world doesn’t become suddenly sickeningly sweet, even if the people around you become better and you’re given more opportunity. that’s wonderful too but… what happens is that over time, the stuff they told you stops sticking. you realize that just because your nose is crooked it doesn’t even matter because it doesn’t stop you from being the best dang ping pong player in your family. you realize you have a family, even if they’re not blood. you realize you are your own family. and you learn to take care of yourself and yes, it gets ugly at times, but you manage. and inside of managing there’s all these wonderful successes like mac and cheese and getting the bills done and the smell of clean laundry and friends that make you laugh so hard you almost pee and an apartment with plants in every corner and a hairless cat in sweaters or a dog with a bowtie or both and watching movies and reading books and seeing art, all of which haven’t been created yet, and possibly you’re the one who makes them. and managing … managing doesn’t have to be big. sometimes it’s just making a small difference. and sometimes the person you make a difference to is yourself. and that’s amazing.

stick around because, trust me, somewhere in there, you meet your younger self in your dreams and you tell her - oh gosh, i promise, it’s worth waiting, buddy.

spanish
“estas historias sirven como mi inspiración! realmente adoro como dibujan, crean sus  AU! implican creatividad! trabajo y eso es algo que admiro mucho!
espero no ser molesta con este terrible doodle! espero que les guste!”
enlgish
This stories work as my inspiration!! I really adore how they draw,create their AUs!! Involve creativity! Work and that’s something i admire a lot! I hope im not a bother with this terrible doodle! I hope you like it!-

sorry for the terrible and horrible drawing =‘C
I will make better drawings soon for you <3 

@doodledrawsthings
@majorpepperidge
@hazardgirl-art-blog
@shinyzango
@devilswinginbendy


3

I was doing warm up sketches when this AU came up lol
AU where Yura is a delinquent (with surprisingly good grades) and a transfer student Beka who also a bit of a model student who is also secretly a delinquent. Yura thinks delinquent Beka is really cool. (Otabek is like Clark Kent lmao no one recognizes him when he wears his glasses pffffttt)

Yura became friends with Beka still not knowing he is also  delinquent lmao


Don’t imagine Eridan being a drama queen and deciding that he’s not going to chat with anyone online unless they contact him first from now. Don’t think about him waiting for weeks, and the only contact he gets is Feferi telling him about what her mom needs/wants to eat, and sometimes talking about little things for a bit. Don’t imagine him crying over his keyboard as he waits online for someone to try to talk to him. 

Don’t imagine two months passing of nothing but short small talk/instructions from Feferi and one time Karkat clicked on his name by mistake and told him so before leaving. Don’t imagine at the end of this two months, Eridan being about to break down when he gets a message from Feferi, who means so well when she tells him that she thinks their moirailship has improved, that she feels so much less burdened by him “now you’ve gotten over those silly issues you used to have.” or now that he’s “learned to be less clingy”

Don’t think about him typing out agreements about how much better things are this way, through his tears and self hatred. Don’t imagine him sitting there, skin and bones because he never remembers to feed himself, crying his eyes out because he can’t take being alone anymore, but now he knows how she feels about him being an issue and he doesn’t want to stress her, 

Don’t imagine him trying to click on Karkat’s name through the tears because he’s the only one he feels like he can turn to, and sending a mic chat request. Don’t imagine him clicking on Sollux’s name instead, and Sollux accepting, because he hasn’t heard from Eridan in quite a while, and he was missing their fights. Don’t imagine Eridan pouring his heart out to Sollux, thinking it’s Karkat, talking about how he can’t take being alone like this anymore, and how nobody has talked to him for two months and how Feferi thought all those issues he struggles with so much were silly.

Don’t imagine Sollux sitting there horrified, not knowing what to do, since he has no social skills.

Don’t imagine Eridan ending with, “Kar, I need help, I can’t be alone like this anymore. Please.”

Don’t imagine Sollux staying quiet, since he doesn’t want Eridan to know he just heard everything, that and that he doesn’t know what to say. 

Don’t imagine Eridan assuming ‘Karkat’ staying silent means that he was annoyed by him, or that he agrees with Feferi and feels Eridan is a burden.

Don’t imagine Eridan ending the call with ‘I’m sorry.”

You really shouldn’t imagine any of that, it sounds quite sad. 

2

graphics and edits; brothers » we won’t stop dreaming by pinkzebra
↳ Look ahead, we can see forever. You and me, doing it together. Light it up, we can be a million stars. Look at us, don’t you see we’ve come so far, we’ve come so far. This is our place in the human race.

Okay, so, I need to say some things...

I’d planned to do this as part of my review of the latest SU episode, The New Crystal Gems, when I post it this Tuesday, and I will probably mention a lot of this again then, but I’m peeved enough that I need to rant about it now.

If you plan on watching my review, and you don’t want any aspect of my opinion of the episode spoiled, then don’t read this, I guess. If you don’t mind hearing my ideas twice, though, or you don’t plan on watching the review, then let’s talk a little bit about Lapis.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Hey! Can I call you mom? The situation at home is not good, mom is literally avoiding the fact that I'm bi, and every time she is mad at something she yells at me and it's horrible.... okay not why I'm here, but could you write something about sanvers in high school? Or something? That would be awesome, sorry if I bother you, you are really incredible and thank you for always taking the time to write and answer us. :)

Oh sweetheart, I am so so so sorry things are so tough for you right now. Please don’t forget that you are perfect and you never deserve to be yelled at, and of course you can call me mom. I am sending you all my love, darling: and you never have to apologize: you are never, ever a bother. You are worthy of all the best things, always!!! <3 <3 <3

She always walks Kara from class to class. Always.

Because Kara’s still getting used to the whole earth thing and it’s her job to take care of her and she has to take care of her and no one other than Vicky is trying to walk through the halls with the science nerd freak with the even freakier little sister, anyway.

But her stupid English teacher kept her whole stupid class a whole stupid three minutes late, so now she’s sprinting through the halls, weaving through overconfident jocks and small-looking freshmen and that girl with the gorgeous eyes until she skids to a stop outside of Kara’s algebra class.

Where Kara is talking to another girl, an older-looking girl – certainly not a freshmen, anyway, but she can’t be a junior because Alex has never seen her – and Alex knows this can’t be good.

No one in this school talks to Kara without wanting a laugh out of it.

“Kara!”

“Hi Alex!” Alex furrows her brow because she’s bouncing on the balls of her feet, the way she does when she’s excited, not scared or hurt or confused. And she’s not furiously adjusting her glasses: she’s just… smiling.

“This is Maggie! She just moved here from a place called Nebraska – have you heard of – anyway – and she asked me how to get to the science office and I was showing her and she likes my glasses and she wants to be friends!”

Alex turns her attention to the girl next to Kara. Her jeans are ripped like they’ve seen a lot of wear, and her ponytail is high and her eyes are as guarded as the beaten-up leather jacket that covers her basketball jersey.

“Maggie Sawyer,” the girl sticks her hand out, the grin she’d worn while watching Kara ramble still on her mouth, but her eyes cautious now, as she regards this new arrival.

“Alex Danvers,” Alex shakes, wondering why the core of her stomach feels this hot just from touching this girl’s hand, wondering why she seems so solemn, why she was apparently being so nice – so normal – to Kara.

“Danvers – so you’re the sister! I’ve already heard a lot about you from Kara. Apparently I’m not the only one looking to spend study periods in the science office?”

Alex grins, guardedly.

“You like science?”

Maggie stiffens, and Kara’s wide eyes flit between her big sister and her new friend.

“You find that surprising?”

There’s something in the way Maggie defends herself, something in the way her hurt is masked but somehow also oozes out of her lips that makes Alex stop, and smile. That makes her desperate to reassure her.

“No, just… exciting. What’s your poison? Bio? Chem? Physics?”

Maggie’s posture relaxes somewhat, and she shifts her backpack on her right shoulder. “All of the above. You?”

“Same.”

“Ladies, you need to be in your classrooms now!” one of the sophomore math teachers calls, and they all jump.

“Kara, see you after!” Alex pushes her gently into her classroom.

“I’ve got my study period now. You?”

“Yeah.”

“Ladies!”

“We’ve got a free! We’re going!”

Maggie grins at Alex’s indignation. “Don’t like being yelled at much, huh?”

Alex grimaces. “Does anyone?”

There’s something behind Maggie’s nod that Alex wants to hug, which feels odd, because she’s never really wanted to hug anyone but Kara. And Vicky.

“So, Nebraska, huh?” Alex asks as she leads Maggie down the hall to the science office.

“Trying to put it behind me. Kara says she’s not from around here, but that you grew up in Midvale.”

“You two talked a lot in a few minutes, huh?”

Maggie laughs gently and steps back to hold the door for Alex as they get to the office. “Kara did most of the talking.”

Alex searches her tone, her face, for mockery, but she finds only disbelief that someone can be that nice, and something that looks a lot like affection. Like relief that the girl she asked directions from wasn’t looking to hurt her.

“She seems like a really great kid.”

Alex’s heart twists guiltily. “She is.” She shows Maggie where she can set up her books, on the table where the science teachers let the nerds work and eat and rest from the stimulation, the abuse, of outside, during their free periods.

“Alex, you brought a friend!” her freshman biology teacher calls with equal parts pride and shock from her desk in a slightly separated room, and Alex blushes furiously.

“Maggie Sawyer. Just transferred, ma’am,” Maggie says in a small but trained-with-confidence voice, and Alex wonders why she had to develop it.

And she wonders why she didn’t correct her teacher – that Maggie wasn’t her friend, just a tagalong who was nice to her sister.

Because maybe she’s right.

Maybe the girl with the guarded eyes and adorable dimples – who’s already pulling out a peanut butter sandwich and offering Alex half – is going to be her friend after all.

  • -team 7 is eating dinner at the Ichiraku's, Sasuke is finished and intertwines his fingers with Sakura's under the table-
  • Kakashi: (notices and raises an eyebrow)
  • Naruto: (too occupied with eating ramen, doesn't pay attention)
  • Sakura: (sneezes)
  • Kakashi: So, is it serious?
  • Sakura: What? No, not really, don't worry sensei. It's just a common cold. It'll go away in a week.
  • Sasuke: ...
  • Kakashi: (confused but politely listening)
  • Sakura: Although a cold can turn into a nasty flu if not treated properly, and that condition can become serious pretty fast. Patients have very sore throats and can develop a horrible phlegm that has this green color when you cough it out-
  • Sasuke: Sakura...
  • Sakura: Hahah, I'm sorry, this is no topic to be discussed over dinner but I get a little passionate talking about the medical field. You guys know me, always so talkative...
  • Sasuke: Sakura, stop. Kakashi was just asking if we are dating, if our relationship is serious.
  • Sakura: (blushing like crazy) ...Huh.
The Secks

Description- Honestly it’s based completely off a (joke) YouTube video I watched during my demon phase that I’m honestly still trying to find a logical solution for. Honestly.

Genre- Smut

Warnings- Uh, sex? I really don’t know what to put for this when it’s already obviously smut

Word Count- 1020

Notes- I have no clue why I’m writing more smut the last one was shit I guess I’ve just had this idea in my head way too long also there may or may not be an appropriately timed reference if you squint…


It was but another radio show. It was but another album countdown with Jameela. Dan was bored of it. He loved his job, but he sometimes wished he could spice it up a bit. Then he got an idea.

Dan gazed up at the clock on the wall. There was but ten minutes before they had to be out with Jameela. Was that enough time? He didn’t really care. He wanted to try something new and interesting. Maybe even something a bit dangerous. This definitely ticked off all of those boxes. 

Phil was sitting on the same couch as Dan, staring at his phone.  The younger boy leaned over and pressed his lips to Phil’s, who gasped in his mouth before warming up to the kiss. Dan climbed into his lap, causing another gasp by Phil. Dan moved his mouth down to Phil’s neck, and Phil, free to speak, voiced concern.

“Dan, we’re on in ten minutes.”

“Better speed this up then.” Dan unzipped Phil’s black jeans and pulled them off, followed almost immediately by his boxers. Dan took Phil in his mouth as he pulled off his own jeans and boxers, feeling Phil get harder with every passing second. Dan let go of Phil and got onto all fours on the floor, glancing back at Phil in anticipation. 

“You do know we don’t have any lube or condoms, don’t you?” Dan nodded. “And that we’re literally supposed to be out there with Jameela in five minutes now?”

The younger boy nodded yet again, this time with a smirk. “Try new things.” And with that, Phil was on the floor with Dan. He carefully inserted his cock into Dan’s incredibly tight asshole. Dan was immediately overcome with pain, and he winced. Phil stopped, feeling Dan’s shivers, but the younger boy signaled for him to continue, and he did. 

Every second was like another level of hell for Dan, but the pain was tolerable, and Dan wanted to continue. Eventually Dan got used to the pain. “Harder.” Phil thrust harder and faster, and Dan began to quietly moan. He was in even more pain than he had been earlier, but by this point he was almost enjoying it. 

Phil finally hit Dan’s prostate, causing both of them to come. Dan moaned loudly, and Phil immediately attempted to quiet him down. “Shh… Remember where we are.” Dan took a quick moment to do so. He had somehow convinced Phil to fuck him in the middle of the radio station green room. It was an impulse they both foolishly gave into, but Dan didn’t regret it. He looked around the room, out of breath, until his eyes finally focused on the clock on the wall. They were supposed to be with Jameela five minutes ago. 

“Oh my god, Phil.” Dan pointed at the clock with horror, and Phil gasped. 

“Hurry, hurry!” They pulled on their boxers and jeans as quickly as they could and dashing out the door. 

“Phil, wait!” Dan was limping. The lack of lube was still causing him a lot of pain, and trying to run was very difficult. 

“Come on!” Phil ran to the set as quickly as he could, Dan trailing as close behind as possible. A few seconds after Phil, Dan hobbled on and sat down on the couch beside him. Jameela was already talking to them, attempting to scold them for their tardiness. 

“Your mics are off. Sit there in silence, I’ll deal with you later.” Phil adorably put his hands to his mouth, and Dan hovered his hand over his boyfriend’s knee for a second before realizing they were on the air. Dan tuned out for a minute before noticing the music change. He heard the Arctic Monkeys album and then noticed Jameela addressing him and Phil again. “I am sweating! I’ve been left here!”

“Can they hear us now?” Dan spoke into the microphone and could immediately tell he was finally being broadcast over the airwaves. 

“They can hear you.” 

“Do you want to know an interesting fact?” Dan wanted to do anything to get the topic off him and Phil. He didn’t know how he would explain if she asked where they were. 

“No!” 

Jameela was obviously not amused. Dan, however, continued his fact. 

“They are the first independent artist to have five consecutive number one albums in the UK. Album chart facts by Dan!” He was speaking, of course, of the Arctic Monkeys. He then sang the last part, hoping it would take attention away from their late appearance. It unsurprisingly didn’t. 

“Where the hell were you?” 

There was one thing Dan’s random chatter did for him. It gave him time, and he’d finally thought of a completely truthful excuse. “We were just in another room but they didn’t…” Dan stuttered, trying to find the right words while being put on the spot. “No one came to get us. We were like, ‘Oh, we must be in ten minutes, but…’” 

“Everyone came to get you!” At this point, Dan was slightly confused, as nobody did come to get them. Maybe they had been repelled by Dan’s odd moaning sounds, or the couple couldn’t hear them. Either way, it was probably Dan’s fault. 

While Dan was attempting to create a theory in his mind as to what happened, Phil took the microphone out of his hand. “We were lost.” Dan started laughing, knowing this completely contradicted what he had just said. “I’m sorry,” Phil added. What a mess. 

“You were lost in a tiny building?”

“I tried to get a chocolate downstairs and I couldn’t get out the door.” 

“I knew it. I knew there was sugar involved.” Dan turned towards the camera and flashed the signature facial expression, reading ‘this is my boyfriend, the spork, and that’s yet another innuendo he’ll never live down.’ Although he technically wasn’t that wrong. Dan let Phil keep the microphone. He didn’t really want to talk anyway. At that point, all Dan wanted to do was gaze into the distance and reflect on his horrible choices of the day. And, oh, were there many of them. 

anonymous asked:

I've been having the most crappiest months ever, my life is a mess right now and I am so fragile, everything makes me cry or feel emotionless. And to top it of my mum is having surgery tomorrow. I could really use a fluffy fic, to remember that hopefully everything will be alright. That there's a real son why I'm going through these horrible times xx

i’m so sorry this is weeks late, my love, i hope you’re doing okay, know i’m rooting for you, and here is some halloween sterek to hopefully make you feel better

*

The first Halloween back home from college is not one Stiles is looking forward to. Nor is it one he wants to celebrate with full force and a damn party.

Scott, however, is keen to embrace the festivities now they’re able to, and he arranges for all of them to go to a “sweet” Halloween do at the town hall.

Stiles mutters darkly about Winifred, Mary and Sarah coming to curse them all, and Derek (to his huge surprise) starts humming the creepy song from the start of the movie as he throws a cushion at Stiles’ head.

He’s seemingly, astonishingly, totally okay with going to a party for Halloween.

Stiles attempts to resist, but his best friend is just so damn earnest.

Derek doesn’t even try to fight Scott’s excited announcement, only asks if they have to wear costumes.

“Of course!” Scott bounces over, claps him on the shoulder, “That’s the whole point!”

Keep reading

  • Newt and Tina: *loses Jacob in a crowd*
  • Newt: Hold on I got this.
  • Newt: QUEENIE GOLDSTEIN IS A HORRIBLE PERSON AND I HATE HER!
  • Jacob: QUEENIE IS AMAZI- wait....who's Queenie? Why do I feel so offended?
  • Tina: *looks to a crying Newt*

always-make-it-gayer  asked:

I'm not sure if you watched any of Michaela's livestream on instagram but you were mentioned in it!!!! They (Michaela, Deedee, Zach, and Jennifer) were answering questions and someone I think asked about getting the livestream animated and Zach said "Let's get McKenzie Atwood to do that!!!" and it was really cute and sorry if I explained that horribly

Oh my god no I missed that part!!! Ahh that’s so awesome I’m dying, thank you for telling me!!!

anonymous asked:

Could you maybe write the reactions of RFA (maybe Saeran and V if you have time/inspiration?) to MC having anxiety issues? Like if they had an attack or they need them to order food in a restaurant or something? I really like your writing, and I feel like you could write something really good with this! (Plus I'm a lonely fuck with multiple anxiety disorders and this is just kinda self-indulgent; I'm sorry) If you can't, it's all good; I hope you have a really nice day, too!

Babe, I will always have the time for you, message me if you end up feeling too lonely I’m lonely too. Thank you so much. I love you, anxiety sucks, I know it can feel horrible when you try something new, but it could be the start of something great, please talk to me I’m lonely! I’m also a very nice guy and will always be up to meeting new people. If I don’t reply right away it’s because I don’t have internet or I’m asleep!


Yoosung:

I should have tried harder to keep his sweater, MC thought bitterly. It always made them feel so safe and secure, and like nothing was going to happen to them. And, of course, the day Yoosung takes it back, is the day Zen wants to go someplace. They could already feel the anxiety bubbling up inside of them, and they had not even left the apartment yet. Zen was due to come any time, and they knew they shouldn’t be getting themselves worked up, that it would only lead to an attack, but they just couldn’t help it.

They could already feel their breath shortening and their heart start to race. They just couldn’t calm down. The attack was upon them. They knew what they should and shouldn’t do, of course, but things like logic tend to fly out the window at a time like this. All they could hear was their heart pounding, and their short, quick gasps. There’s too much noise, a coherent thought flew by. Shaking hands eagerly pushed against their ears and grasped their hair, what seemed like their only lifeline at the moment.

-

Zen was worried that MC had hurt themselves, he had been standing in the hallway for over 10 minutes, with no sign of MC. Sighing, he turned the knob, an eyebrow raising as the door opened. He took a step in, scanning the room. In a corner was MC, curled up, hands over their ears, eyes wide with panic. Rushing over to them, he saw no immediate signs of danger, but MC gave no response. Fumbling fingers he dialed Yoosung’s number, praying to whatever god was listening that he wasn’t in class yet.

“Zen? Is everything alright?” Yoosung’s high pitched voice rang out through the speaker.

“Something’s wrong with MC, they’re curled up and not giving me any responces, I’m not sure what to do.”

“What!” Yoosung sounded panicked, “I’m coming home right now! Please make sure MC is alright!”

The line went dead.

-

“d..ng…cm…ou..oi…ic..asy…ere we go. Come on MC, pull your hands away from your head. Good, just like that. Deep breaths, come one, in and out. In and out. There’s a good MC.” Yoosung’s voice was low and soothing, MC could feel the rumblings of his voice on their cheek. They felt calm, what had happened? Oh. That’s right. A panic attack. Letting their eyes flutter open, MC blinked owlishly around the room. Letting their eyes fall onto Yoosung last.

“MC, what happened? You had Zen and I worried.”

While they didn’t want to tell, they were more afraid of Yoosung’s disappointment in them. “I.. I have anxiety,” their voice was croaky, and they hated the sign of weakness. “I usually do fine with something to help me focus on the here and now, but..” they trailed off, not wanting Yoosung to blame himself for their attack. “But, you took your sweater, and it makes me feel so safe.” MC said in a rush. A chuckle sounded in MC’s ear. Yoosung grabbed the sweater from next to him, and put it on them as best he could given the seating arrangement.

“Well, We’ll just have to make sure you feel safe, no don’t we?”

Zen:

  • Mostly MC would get anxiety about being seen with him
  • What if their picture was taken? People could look at them whenever they wanted, they wouldn’t be anonomus anymore.
  • Zen took care of that very well
  • Whenever they were feeling anxious, he would sit down and pull them onto his lap and whisper encouragements into their ear
  • They had some difficulties, but a lot of his fans were very understanding, and even if they didn’t like MC too much they would do their best not to talk about them.
  • This feels like a disappointment after Yoosung’s

Jaehee:

  • This princess always takes orders for the café and does the talking
  • MC can just make what needs to be made, and deliver it if needs be.
  • They don’t have to talk
  • Everybody who’s not a regular thinks that they are mute
  • Jaehee always seems to know when they are reaching their limit
  • “Go sit down with a cup of tea, there’s not too many customers right now”
  • Knows the best ways to calm them down

Jumin:

  • MC can’t talk to the guards
  • They just can’t
  • They are big, and scary and loom over them. Their eyes are always watching what they are doing
  • MC just doesn’t like the guards. Period.
  • Jumin is conflicted
  • Eventually the settle on the guards will not follow MC around in the building, and Jumin will let MC pick out the less intimidating guards for when they are needed

Saeyoung/Seven:

  • He’s found that laughter is the best cure.
  • He carries around note cards with jokes on them
  • He writes several jokes and notes of encouragement on MC’s arms so he’s always with them
  • Always calls to check in
  • “God 707 is watching you. You are safe.”

V:

  • The first time you go to a restaurant together it is hell.
  • His eyes are recovering from the surgery so he can’t order, and he leaves it to you to pick out what he’s having
  • Welp, fuck.
  • MC’s panicking a little
  • Actually, a lot
  • The first time the waiter comes to take their order, MC can’t form words so they just vioolently shake their head.
  • V notices something is wrong right away.
  • “What are we having?” was the whispered inquiry.
  • MC replied back, and V told the waiter when he came by.
  • “I noticed you were anxious about ordering. Is this normal? I don’t mind being your voice, as long as you’re my eyes”
  • Get a fucking room you two

Saeran:

  • The two of them are just one big heap of anxiety
  • They have to bring Seven along when they want to get ice cream
  • Looking into each other’s eyes calms them down immensly
  • Whispered I love you’s and tightly grasped hands
  • This has gotten really cheesy so I’m going to stop

I didn’t mean for Yoosung’s to turn into a ficlet, and don’t be afraid to let me know if you don’t like the way I described anxiety! I hope this is what you wanted! Let me know if you want something added or changed!

Storytime...

Something amazing happened to me today.

If you have never been bottom-of-the-barrel broke for a decent length of time then you cannot truly understand that horrible feeling when the cashier tells you that you can’t use your loyalty points because the server is down. That sick sinking feeling that happens as you come to the realization that you have to pay full price when you were counting on having the extra $5 the points would have saved you to buy the meat for dinner. That if you want to eat now you won’t later or if you want to eat later you can’t eat now.

I experienced this feeling again today at the coffee shop. I only ordered a small coffee and a ham and cheese croissant. It’s all I could afford if I used the points I’d saved up to pay for the coffee. My total was only $10.90 but I had been counting on using my points to bring it down to $6. Then she told me the system was down.

Everything stopped. My heart sank and suddenly began racing 100ks an hour at the same time and I started shaking. In the space of about four seconds I thought several things at once.

“Do I say leave the coffee? The food is more vital than the caffeine”

“Do I just leave both? I need to buy the stuff for dinner tonight and I have to get to therapy tomorrow”

“Maybe I can borrow from Mum to do dinner and therapy”

“Oh god! They probably think I’m just angling for free stuff!”

“Fuck Georgia! Just pay by card and pray you make it to next week on what’s left”

“I’m going to throw up”

“Tell them it’s fine and pass your card over for fucks sake!”

So I take out my card and start to hand it over. I’m trying to put on a brave face but clearly I didn’t do much of a job of it. The cashier looks like a deer in headlights. She doesn’t know how to handle this kind of thing. She immediately tries to reassure me.

Then it happens.

I hear a gruff voice behind me ask,

“How much does she need?”

I turn and see the older lady who came in behind me and let me go ahead of her in the queue opening her wallet and looking at the cashier.

I’m still desperately trying to convince both women that it’s fine and I’ll pay but they don’t seem to hear me. By now I’m shaking and also crying. I can tell both women are uncomfortable so I desperately try to get myself under control. It’s not working. In the madness the cashier puts through the point discount and the Gruff Older Lady pays for my order. Now not only do I still have the $5 I was counting on from my points I have the other $6 I would have paid for my coffee too.

I move off to the side still loosing my shit and crying (embarrassingly) in a coffee shop, as the cashier takes Gruff Older Lady’s order and she pays and we all wait for our orders.

The whole shop has been watching this and not said a word. I think (it’s something of a blur) I may have hugged her. And I think it made her even more uncomfortable. Anyway, I’m still trying to get myself under control. Another patron comes over and asks if I’m ok and I tell her what’s just happened and she smiles and calmly chats to me till I’m calm and her order is called. She wishes me well and leaves.

My order is then called at the same time as Gruff Older Lady. I can barely look her in the eye. I’m so embarrassed. But I’m also so incredibly grateful so I look up and give a wobbly smile and thank her again as we put the lids on our coffees. She asks if I’m short of money and I admit that I am but I’m mostly coping without looking up from the counter.
Next thing I know she is opening her wallet again and pushing the last of her cash, $30, into my hands. I try to refuse and tell her she doesn’t have to do that, I’m ok. Again the tears threaten.

“Don’t you cry again!”

She tells me in that same gruff voice she used at the counter.

“You’ll set me off! Just take it! I know what it’s like to be where you are. I’ve been there myself. I’m a bit flush this week so I can afford to do this.”

I can do nothing but stare at my shaking hand now holding $30 and thank her profusely while trying not to cry on her. She simply gives me a small smile and murmurs,

“I’ve done my kind thing for the day.”

And leaves before I can say another word.

It’s taken me an hour to write this and I’m still shaken and overwhelmed.

This woman was so kind. It wasn’t the stereotypical warm, beneficent old woman with a big hug and a cheery smile. She was real and my gratitude seemed to make her uncomfortable. Like she hadn’t realized how big of an impact she would have when she decided to do what she did. She was gruff and awkward and that is the only thing that has me convinced that this really happened and I didn’t dream it.

Well, that and the lasting embarrassment from having had such a major breakdown in a public place.

I have now had breakfast and I’ll use the extra $30 for food. And it’s all thanks to that incredibly kind Gruff Older Lady.

I don’t know how to end this except to say again even though I am sure she’ll never see this…

Thank you. Paying for my breakfast the way you did has had a far bigger impact than I think you will ever know.

Limitless


Iwaizumi had always admired Oikawa’s discipline, and his drive to improve himself at every chance he got. But, he had to admit, Oikawa was also stupidly ambitious, to the point of not knowing his own limits. In a way that helped him improve, because to him, no bar was too high. But because of that Oikawa often seemed to forget that his body couldn’t always keep up with his mind.

The spring tournament was only a few weeks away, and the group of Aoba Johsai third years was hanging out in the gym for a bit after practice, after their underclassmen had gone home. Or, rather, Oikawa was practicing his serve, aiming for more power while also trying to retain his precision, while the other boys were talking. 

And Iwaizumi, no matter how much he tried to, couldn’t keep himself from throwing a concerned glance Oikawa’s way every few minutes, knowing how prone he was to lose sight of his limits.

Keep reading