this is real and if you don't think so you're irrelevant

anonymous asked:

All the best Stucky writers have been up and deleting their blogs/AO3 pages/all online references to their work lately, like they're ashamed of their fanfic and don't want anyone in the "real world" to see it after they've moved on. You're not planning on ghosting us anytime soon, right? I don't think my heart could take it.

No, my Anonymous friend, I’m not planning on deleting anything, and can’t imagine I’d ever delete my stuff off AO3. But as much as I appreciate the praise embedded in your question, I have to respond to the rest of it because it makes me very uncomfortable.

I’m sure you didn’t intend to be, but I feel it’s desperately unkind to label these fandom authors—who have given us so much joy and laughter and angst and tears and hours of reading pleasure, asking nothing in return but a comment here and there—as being ashamed. Given the timing of this ask and your mention of the real world, I can’t help but infer that you’re alluding to a particular author which, if you are, is tremendously unkind, given how much they’ve given us over the years, including a warning so we could download and keep their stories.

There’s a lot of reasons why someone might leave fandom, and a lot of reasons people might prefer to leave no trace behind, and they’re not about shame. People move on, people change, people’s lives go in different and new directions, things happen in people’s lives that send them away from fandom, or away from writing, and there will be as many reasons for that as there are people who move on. To use myself as an example: years ago I walked away from my old fandom for very personal, non-fandom related reasons, and I deleted everything simply because it hurt too much to leave it (some fics on a fandom specific archive survived because I’d lost the password and email). It had nothing, nothing, to do with shame.

Making the jump from fandom author to published author is another reason someone might remove their fics or fandom blogs, because I can imagine many reasons why someone in that position wouldn’t want their real name to be linked to their fandom works. I’ll never be in that position (I’ve negative desire to be a published author), I know next to nothing about publishing, but off the top of my head: contractual, agreement short of contractual, an intention to revisit plot or story, desire for clear demarcation between your writing lives, or the fact that, however much we might wish it otherwise, in some authorial and media circles fanfiction is still a thing to be mocked—if there’s an inextricable link between your real name and your fandom works, you could very well be inviting those works to some day be used against you. The only way to break that inextricable link would be to remove the works completely.

In the end none of those reasons matter. It doesn’t matter why. A fandom author’s reasons for removing their work, or deleting their blog, or wanting to ensure their real world identity can’t, or can no longer, be linked to their fandom identity are completely irrelevant. They are none of our business. And to label these authors, these people (because they are people, with full rich lives and identities outside of the fandom sliver we see), who’ve given so much to fandom, as ashamed of their fandom past is terrible. 

Losing stories you love is sad, it’s heartwrenching—I know, there’s stories gone from AO3 that I’ll miss forever, but I still remember them, how they made me feel and why I loved them. So please, my dear Anonymous, focus on that. Remember that. Remember everything these authors have given you, every minute of joy, and be kinder.

anonymous asked:

it seems like some ants think that they're taking the higher ground by telling people they're upsetting or frustrating to block them. like saying "don't interact! block me!" when discourse gets heated gives them a sense of being the bigger person, or pretending to admit they're wrong or problematic by agreeing the person should block. i wish they could have civil, logical arguments. in real life in a debate you don't get to yell "block me then!" to avoid situations where you're in the wrong.

Yep! There’s no anon or block or blacklist features in the real world. Makes you wonder how ants will deal in a workplace environment, where they can’t “block” someone who disagrees with them.

I wish they could have civil, logical arguments too. I would love to see a shipper have a nice, fair debate with an ant, but every attempt I’ve seen has been in vain. 

A shipper sends a simple question to an ant? They respond with a meme or an irrelevant video or the Bee Movie script. 

A shipper makes a quick point that completely dismantles the ant’s argument? Their response is completely ignored, the ant won’t even acknowledge it.

A shipper responds with a multiple paragraph answer, complete with linked sources? The ant comes back with a “lol you expect me to read that novel?! The fact that you had to write so much to justify your gross ships proves you’re wrong. I’m not reading that!” 

I personally PM’d an ant to have a discussion once. We went back and forth and they were civil for the most part. I threw my flag in first saying, “look, we’re just going in circles, we’re obviously not gonna change each other’s minds. thanks for your time and for being nice.” They replied by telling me I’m “unsafe to be around minors” for shipping 0tayur1 and then immediately blocked me so I couldn’t even defend myself.

I’ve never once seen an ant have a proper discussion with someone. They’re childish. They always resort to name-calling, and then ignoring or blocking when they’ve been proven incorrect, because they’re too damn full of themselves to admit that they’re wrong. 

anonymous asked:

What you're doing is so lesbophobic. You are not in a lesbian relationship!! Stop erasing real lesbian's identities. Being trans doesn't make you a woman. It makes you a TRANS woman, which still means you are biologically a man, so you can by definition, not be a lesbian. So stop, you are hurting real lesbians with this shit. I feel sorry for young lesbians who don't find any representation in the LGBT community when you say that a biologically male person can be lesbian.You're hurting people!

Oh, here we go… I suppose this was just a matter of time. Okay, here’s the short version for those that don’t like to read long posts.

What you really mean is that I’m not a part of your narrow definition of a “real lesbian”. Well, too bad. I’m sorry you feel that way, but I know many, many lesbians who don’t share your view and lovingly welcome people like me into the fold. In fact, I’m pretty sure that you’re just a tiny, vocal, shrinking minority and I really don’t care that you have a problem with me. Sorry to be so blunt about it, but I don’t.

Longer version time… Yes, my chromosomes are coded such that I was born with male reproductive organs but, for whatever reason, my brain didn’t develop to match. I feel, act, behave, look, sound, and am accepted by the people I know as a woman. I am happily married to someone else who is the same as me in that regard. When she and I go about our lives, no one sees anything other than an attractive couple of women together. 99.9% of people smile warmly at us when they see us together. Most people we talk to probably walk away thinking something along the lines of, “what a nice lesbian couple.” So explain to me how that hurts “real lesbians”? Where do my genetics or reproductive organs factor into those interactions in any way? Hint: they don’t. They’re invisible to how the world sees me, thus irrelevant.

So let me ask you, why the hell are you so hung up on something that doesn’t change a thing about how I interact with the vast majority of the world? Why should that disqualify a trans woman from being a “real lesbian”? How does that erase you in any way? How does that effectively nullify the representation of cis lesbians (of which there is an abundance) in the LGBT community?

Oh, and side note… I’ve always been clear that I’m bisexual. So is my wife. So technically, we’re two women in a bisexual relationship. It’s the rest of the world - people much like you, in fact - trying to erase bisexual identities that wants to say I’m a lesbian in a lesbian relationship. But I digress…

I understand that when people see us walking down the street, they can’t tell we’re bisexual by looking at us, so I let that go because I’m not hung up on invisible things. Speaking of invisible, they also can’t see my genes or reproductive organs. No, they just see a couple of women holding hands. Hmm, kinda like “real lesbians”.

Next point, but first a note to my readers. In this next paragraph, I’m going to extend the asker’s faulty logic in order to make a point. This doesn’t reflect my actual beliefs. That said…

You’re focused on how I’m “biologically male”, thus I can’t be a woman, thus I’m harming “real lesbians”. Let’s run with that logic then and see where it leads, shall we? If you’re born a cisgender woman, “biologically female”, then you’re born into a body that’s “biologically supposed to be attracted to men”. I guess that means you’re hurting “real women” with your “shit”. I really feel for all those young heterosexual girls who can’t find representation in their straight communities when you say that a biologically female person can be attracted to women.

Sounds like a steaming pile of B.S., right? Yep, and that’s exactly what your argument sounds like. After all, it’s almost word for word, just zoomed out a bit so you can better see what it really is that you’re saying.

I don’t know what trans women ever did to you to make you feel like your charming brand of bigotry is justified, but it isn’t. Let it go. It’s ugly.

and once again, TG has gone overboard

No. No I don’t think Mutsuki killing his parents and a cat and going all…uh, snk shall we say, on Torso’s ass.

And I mean that literally.

Is ok.

Nah, I don’t believe people get free passes because they have a tragic backstory.

But that’s the thing.

Ya’ll are calling this a brilliant twist, but I’m more tired by it than anything.

Yes. Everyone’s crazy. With abusive parents.

Abuse begets abuse.

Everyone’s dark and horrible.

The world is dark and horrible.

Look at me I’m edgy.

Symbolism. Metaphor. I’m sure there was a K somewhere in a panel to symbolize Kafka.

Or some insect symbolism.

But anyway back to Mutsuki.

At this point I’m not particularly shocked, just making circular motions with m index finger asking Ishida to please move this along.

You know there’s a tv trope called darkness induced audience apathy.

It’s basically where if everyone is morally gray and the world is too dark and no one is sympathetic, then it stops being a brilliant and edgy portrayal of human nature and starts being very hard to care about.

And lazy writing, because real human beings aren’t all psychopaths and murderers.

And this is weird but uh, victims of abuse don’t always go crazy and start hurting other people.

But of course, I read TG, which means I must assume my best friend is going to kill and eat me, because the world is unfair.

The world is full of dark and horrible people and moral ambiguity….because you know, darkness is my soul, there’s no god, death is inevitable, being kind to people just fucks you up.

But back to audience induced apathy.

Maybe most of you aren’t there yet because the type of people who can excuse Torso are the kind of people who can excuse anything and still see every character as a sweet cinnamon roll deserving of a happy ending.

I don’t fault you for that.

Actually I do, but it’s irrelevant right now, so I won’t go there, we aren’t going to discuss whether Mutsuki or Torso is more deserving of pity.

But I think I, as a normal person with a working objective brain, am just really tired of people being revealed to be crazy and/or abused by their parents allllll along, I mean I’ve never had child abuse feel so cheap.

Yeah that’s the word.

Cheap.

It’s how all this feels, you know.

I never liked that Kaneki’s mom was revealed to be abusive all along.

It made more sense narratively and emotionally to have her just be weak.

It was actually really unique to have a kind mother who was too kind and died because of it, which then sets the stage for her son to fall for the same pit fall—-oh no, she was an abusive bitch. You just forgot.

Ok.

Add him to the list, I guess.

Everyone and their mother was abused.

I’m actually a little surprised it hasn’t been revealed that Kaneki’s father abused his mother.

You know, abuse begets abuse. It’s a cycle.

Everyone who’s horrible has to have been abused by someone else.

Everyone’s “sympathetic”, which is code for everyone’s an asshole and you just have to choose who’s less of an asshole.

Just like in real life.

Oh wait, people actually aren’t all that sucky, despite what your angsty 14-year old edge master grunge lord ass might think.

Victims of abuse can be normal.

Perpetrators of abuse can just be born assholes.

Jeffrey Dahmer didn’t have a damn sad backstory, his parents got a divorce.

I guess that gave him the right to start eating penises, huh?

ALRIght TG fandom, I get it, you wank off all over this “abuse is a cycle” crap, I get it, horrible people make good people do horrible things, it’s science.

We’re listening Ishida.

What’s your point?

Where are you going now?

how are you going to resolve it?

Is ANYONE going to break that cycle or are you just going to go the easy route and let murder continue happening because THAT is also cheap.

You can’t just throw around he killed his parents, his mother was actually abusive all along and he just forgot about it, parents were killed by ghouls and now they seek revenge.

I mean I guess you CAN, but you shouldn’t.

I mean ok, Seido? Insane, Killed his parents. Mutsuki? Insane, Killed his parents. Uta? I’m sure he had abusive parents that he then killed.

Eto? Also insane. Killed her dad, mom died of dead mom syndrome.

Touka? Plot twist, parents killed by the CCG.

Nishiki. I don’t even remember his backstory other than he and his gf boned and it’s romantic, I can’t even remember, I think I’ve been deluged with way too many other back stories.

Do we have an Arima backstory?

Anyone wanna bet his parents were killed by ghouls?

Or they were abusive and forced him into the icy cold shell he is today because they expect him to the greatest ghoul killer?

Everyone in the CCG pretty much has the dead parents eaten by ghoul backstory.

It’s literally in the CCG mission statement to Adopt any and all kids with emotional issues.

Urie?

I’m sure he killed his parents too and just forgot about it.

I’m just so very tired, first of Torso getting excuses, and now Mutsuki just being revealed as just as bad.

Like…I just don’t care now.

Someone die so we can just get out of this damn arc.

And can we get back to Kaneki?

We spent way too long on these new main characters only for them to die pointlessly (Shirazu, Kanae, a bunch of CCG characters I don’t care about but who inexplicably got screen time like Hairu and Kijima, also some other guys who got killed after surviving ALL of Tokyo Ghoul), and now we’ve got Mutsuki being morally grey.

Ooh that’s new.

And Urie is possibly going to kill Mutsuki and I suppose I’m supposed to be devastated and realize how fragile and delicate our perceptions of morality are?

But no, I’m just going to see Mutsuki’s death being caused by the same thing that caused Shirazu’s death: everything sucks and we shouldn’t care about characters because they’re all secretly evil and it’s of course because of abuse.

Gotcha.

Really taught me a lot, thanks man.

anonymous asked:

Howdy: I have a few questions regarding the post about monosexual privilege. I'm not disagreeing with anything you're saying really, I guess I just don't understand how one would define "privilege" then? I'm genuinely not understanding how gay men and lesbians having access to resources bi people don't is not privilege?

Just a warning, but this is going to be very long. I go into a nuanced critique of privilege / oppression discourse and into more detail about how it applies to biphobia. I have talked about these issues a lot in the past, so if you are interested, I encourage you to search biphobia in my search bars and check the biphobia tag on my blog.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

I know the ending upset you a lot but... I feel like you're jumping around and latching onto other people's theories way too much to justify it, without critical thought on them?There's been a lot of "THIS EXPLAINS EVERYTHING" instead of "This is interesting, here are the pros and cons that support/don't support this theory" and putting your own twist on them, because it seems like your support slowly ebbs away as other people bring in their own criticisms of those theories to you?

If it looks like I’m relying on other people to do the thinking for me, that’s because you’re completely right. I’m not putting a whole lot of extra, unguided thought into the ending. I know that; I’ll make no illusions about it.

Because I *can’t*.

I can’t think about Homestuck canon at all yet without this angry, anxious feeling welling up in my gut and forcing me to chant “don’t think about it” to myself in my head like an insomniac warding off night terrors. Which is a pretty fitting thing to say when I CAN’T SLEEP. It’s past five AM and my lights have been off for hours and I was tossing and turning sleeplessly in bed, and now I’m writing a teeth-gritting comment about Homestuck on my blog again just to let off some steam, because shit about the unresolved, pointless state of most of canon keeps occurring to me and making me want to eat my pillow.

You guys *deserve* cohesive, critical thought and analysis trying to piece together what that ending meant, for the conclusion of the comic and everything that came before it. That’s why you followed my blog in the first place! And I’d do that for you if I could, but I’m not in that state yet. So all I can do is show you some work from people that *can* put in that effort, because I’m too caught up in my emotions to properly consider the comic.

If it looks like I’m stumbling back and forth between linked theories and opinions looking for a panacea, unsure what to even believe, that’s because I am. I’m not USED to being in a position where my emotions are stonewalling all rational analysis of a topic I care about. It’s frustrating the hell out of me and I feel like a lesser person for letting it get to me this way.

What can I do? Up my medication dosage?? I thought reading substantial stuff people were writing to make sense about what’s right and *wrong* with it would help me come to terms with it, but it’s not. Because Andrew’s being a coy bastard and locking away everything the ending could possibly mean or NOT mean behind a wall of nothing, and I can’t even apparently be satisfied in what I might find WRONG about the ending because there’s a good chance he actually meant something COMPLETELY DIFFERENT and I can’t even be sure what I’m supposed to be upset about. FUCK. If he even did an AMA and came out and just said something like “the classes’ real definitions were never that important so I chose to leave them permanently unclarified”, THAT WOULD GIVE ME SOME SOLACE because I could at least KNOW I was wrong about his intentions and be mad about it, but I CAN’T BE MAD ABOUT IT YET BECAUSE HE REFUSES TO CLARIFY ANYTHING SO I CAN’T EVEN FEEL SETTLED. We cared about SO MANY of the details and plotlines, can’t you at least TELL US whether or not you really did so we don’t sit here NOT KNOWING whether or not you cared about them, which feels EVEN WORSE??! Were they irrelevant to you all along, or were they important but sacrificed on the pyre of some greater meaning we’ve yet to appreciate? WHICH ONE IS IT??! WE CAN’T FEEL CLOSURE UNTIL WE KNOW!!! JUST SAY *WHICH ONE*, THAT’S *ALL WE NEED*!!!!! …Saying you didn’t care about those details is something we can handle. It just means we were wrong about what mattered in the comic. But NOT saying ANYTHING is tantamount to saying, “I don’t care about whichever readers ever did care about the details,” and that feels SHITTY.

I hear an album might drop on 6/12; let’s hope Andrew uses that opportunity to actually take a moment to clarify… FUCKING SOMETHING, ANYTHING, INSTEAD OF LEAVING AND NOT ANSWERING A SINGLE GODDAMN LINGERING QUESTION AT ALL, EVEN INSIGNIFICANT ONES. A-N-Y-T-H-I-N-G. He used to talk us up a STORM in offhand comments when his work didn’t clearly get across what was going on. “Because game development” isn’t the sort of excuse for silence that leaves us… not feeling pretty much fucking abandoned.

Just, make a substantial comment about the comic or two when the album drops, Andrew? Please?? I really want an excuse to buy the album like I bought each other one when they came out, back when I enjoyed it all so much, but I literally get sick to my stomach hearing any Homestuck music with things regarding the comic sitting as-is. I really want to enjoy that music again……

krisjennerscousin  asked:

Wow that vlog just showed how much you've diluted yourself into thinking you're not trans and that you're a real woman and you don't need to deal or talk about trans problems cause you're still invisible... Your privileged because ur lucky enough to pass, ur vlog was rly snarky to non passing trans, you're one of them (trans) yet you keep brushing that identity off of you, just because you "pass" doesn't all of a sudden mean being trans isn't a big part of your life. Cause it is. It's who u are

Sweetie, i dont brush off my identity. I dont deny that im trans. I simply acknowledge the fact that because i pass i haven’t dealt with the same degree of transphobia that a lot of women have felt. Because i pass, how i am handled by the world is very different than people who are visibly trans. Do you know what that’s called? Do you know what I’m doing by acknowledging that? Checking my privilege. In the same way that white people need to understand that there are things in this world that were made for them. I, as a trans woman his read as cis and really only ever has been read as cis, need to acknowledge that I have privilege. There’s a difference between denying that im trans, which we wouldn’t be having this conversation of that were true, and discussion how irrelevant being trans is to me at this particular phase of my life.

My gender may be a huge deal to you but it isn’t to me. There were things that idealt with on a daily basis that made my gender constantly remain on my mind: my name wasn’t change, gender marker wasn’t changed, didnt have the right clothes, was surrounded by people who misgendered me because they knew me pretransition. None of those things are present in my life currently. So i dont conciously think about my gender because it’s something that genuinely doesn’t come up in my life outside of the intenet. Thats my reality. That’s not me denying shit sweetheart.

The reality is that you are a little boy who doesn’t really get what this conversation is about. I have only ever been viewed and treated as a woman for a very long time. That shapes my views on a lot of things. I dont get why you feel the need to tell me what my life is. Honestly. I have a hunch though: you kinda sound like a person thats questioning their gender. Many early transitioners I’ve interacted with are very bitter about stealth trans women. Which i dont really get but i guess that if you’re in a situation where thats what you want and you think you cant have it jealousy is the natural progression. The reality for me is that most people on my life dont know that im trans. Despite having a youtube channel were i discuss it, most peop, including the people i live with, dont know that im trans. What you need i understand is that trans people are diverse. Some trans people identify as trans and others dont. I dont identify as trans. Trans is my history but it’s not who I am. Trans is a part of me but it isn’t my idebtity. I dont identify as a woman, i am a woman. And thats how i feel.

Would you like me to help you find trans resources in nyc? These young trans girls always attack me and they never seem to get that i can be your best frien or your worst enemy. You decide.