What's up buttercup?
A/N: I know this one is a little choppy and kind of just cuts off but I thought it was a good way to end it. This is probably one of my favorite things I’ve written so far just because I’m a sucker for this crap. Plus…omg 46 followers?! Last I checked I was at thirty something or another…Thanks you so much for all the follows and the notes. I love love love you guys💜 With that said, I hope you enjoy it, and thanks for reading ❤️❤️
MATURE LANGUAGE AND SUGGESTIVE DIALOGUE
Three minutes…two minutes and fifty nine seconds…two minutes and fifty eight seconds…
You didn’t pay any attention to the stopwatch on your phone. You didn’t need to, you were counting down the three minutes in your head. Anxiety rushed through you, just thinking of all the ways this could turn out even though there were only two paths this could take in the long run:
Pregnant or not pregnant.
Two minutes and thirty seconds…two minutes and twenty nine seconds…
You first suspected you were pregnant when you had been rifling through your bathroom drawers looking for a bottle of nail polish remover and you saw it.
The unopened box of tampons you bought almost two months ago, having run out of them while you had your last period. Without having to ponder it, you knew there was a definite possibility you could be pregnant. Nail polish remover forgotten, you bolted out of the bathroom, grabbed your wallet, keys, shoes, and broke several traffic laws to get to the nearest convenience store as fast as possible.
You hadn’t bothered with picking out the ‘most effective’ test. You grabbed the one with the digital screen that you knew would be the easiest to read and slammed money next to the cash register, barely waiting for your receipt.
Now here you were, an hour later, sitting on a closed toilet lid, hands wringing in your lap.
One minute and forty seven seconds…one minute and forty six seconds…
The white stick kept a heavy presence on the bathroom counter. You stole quick glances at it, imagining it flashing “pregnant” at you once the timer was over. Just thinking about this kind of outcome scared you to no end.
What the hell were you going to do with a baby?
It’s not like you didn’t have a stable job or home. You were a responsible adult. Theoretically, you could take care of this baby. But you just weren’t ready. This wasn’t supposed to happen until maybe one or two years after you got married and currently your relationship status with your boyfriend was serious but not marriage serious.
'Oh my god, Wade. What am I going to tell Wade?!’ You screamed internally.
This whole new can of worms brought on a fresh wave of fear. Wade had never said anything about wanting kids, it hadn’t come up yet.
You snorted, “Well it’s definitely going to come up now.”
You hadn’t even known you said the words out loud until Wade’s voice came from the other side of the door,
“What’s going to come up now?” He semi shouted so you could hear him.
You froze in panic, 'What the fuck is Wade doing here? He wasn’t supposed to be home until tomorrow!’
“Suggums, is everything okay in there? Need some help with the shower?” He asked suggestively.
At that moment, you were speechless. It was like your brain had become a blank slate. You scrambled for something to say, something that wouldn’t make him any more worried than you were.
'Maybe if I don’t say anything at all, he’ll go away…
…Yeah because that’s not being rude at all to the father of your maybe baby,’ you scoffed at yourself and ran your hands through your hair. You looked back towards your phone timer to see how much longer until you’d find out if you were going to be a parent.
One minute and twenty three seconds…one minute and twenty two seconds…
Wade, still on the other side of the door, grew increasingly concerned as your silence went on,
“(Y/N), honey, seriously is everything okay?” You could hear the worry in his voice and knew if you didn’t answer him, he would definitely break down the door.
“Yeah Wade, everything’s okay,” your voice came out unexpectedly raspy from the emotion clogged in your throat. Tears were starting to sting your eyes, threatening to roll down your cheeks. Wade, of course, saw right through this and busted the lock then walked right into the bathroom. It was a rare day where he wasn’t dressed in his Deadpool suit, but jeans and a black sweater with a t shirt on underneath it that depicted a kitten swinging on a wrecking ball.
You furiously wiped at the tears in your eyes and tried to get in a deep breath so you could have some semblance of calm. Wade strode through the open door, like he hadn’t just broke in. He saw you sitting on the toilet lid with red puffy eyes, and looked around for anything that could explain your mood.
“What’s wrong sugar toosh, happy to see-”
His brown eyes found your phone and more importantly, the pregnancy test, lying on the granite bathroom counter. Wade seemed to know what it was right away, without having to ask. Never one to shut up, Wade’s eyes widened comically as he let out a quiet,
You simply nodded your head, keeping your face down towards your lap, even though you could feel his eyes burning through the top of your skull.
“Is this because of all the sex we’ve been having? You know, it’s perfectly normal to be horny all the time, you don’t have to be pregnant to have those kinds of hormones, you know what I’m saying?”
Wade tried to joke, hoping you’d look up at him. When you kept your head hung, he let out a sigh and crouched down in front of you.
“Hey, talk to me, ah…there’s those sexy eyes I dream about every night,” he charmed.
You chuckled, glad Wade wasn’t completely furious with the situation. Knowing you couldn’t shut him out forever you explained,
“I might be pregnant-”
“I deduced,” Wade interrupted with a smirk on his face. You smiled and ignored him, pushing on through your words,
“Obviously it would be yours-”
“Obviously,” Wade repeated, this time getting a laugh and a push to the shoulder. He laughed with you and raised a callous hand to cup your cheek. Wade tilted his head as if he was taking you in, trying to decipher every little curve and edge to your face.
“So what’s the big deal? Or are you overcome with such joy at the prospect of birthing my prodigy that you couldn’t hold in the happy tears?”
The way Wade boasted about himself was one of your favorite things about him. The first being how well he was taking this so far. No one in the history of ever would be this calm learning that they may have accidentally impregnated someone.
You were cut off by the shrill alarm of the timer on your phone going off. Before you could read the test, Wade’s hand shot out and hid it behind his back.
“Wade, what are you doing?!” You shouted, and made a grab for his arm, desperately needing to find out whether or not the purchase of a crib was in your future. But Wade only shushed you and held a finger up to your lips,
“Nah ah ah, just wait a minute. Let’s talk about this. Why are you so upset?” Wade questioned. He raised his nonexistent eyebrows and waited for you to speak.
You let out a deep sigh and shrugged your shoulders,
“I don’t know. Just…”
You were at a loss for words until a sudden incredulousness took over you,
“Why are you so calm about this?! How?!” You shouted, throwing your hands up.
Wade merely laughed then patiently waited for you to calm down with him before he gave you insight. A couple minutes and a long silence filled with your heavy breathing later…he told you,
“It’s because I can’t stop thinking about a little kid running around this place, a little kid who I will love unconditionally and who will love me too. No matter how fucking disgusting my pizza for a face is. And I can’t stop thinking about how much I love you. I know you like to be prepared for things and this probably threw you for a loop, but everything is going to be okay. I promise.”
By the time he finished, Wade’s thumb was gently running across the top of your cheek. A new bucket of tears spilled over at Wade’s confession, making you feel more in love with him than you were five minutes ago.
“Plus a baby would give me an excuse to keep watching Teletubbies.”
A laugh bubbled up out of your throat and suddenly you weren’t so scared anymore. Suddenly, the prospect of a baby wasn’t so terrifying and something you were starting to want. And if there was anyone you would want it to be with, it was with Wade.
You cleared your throat and clasped your hand onto his,
“I love you too, you know,” You croaked out. Wade smiled and nodded his understanding. He then abruptly stood away from you and brought the test out from behind his back.
Wade blankly stared at the test in his hands, there was nothing in his expression to give away the result.
With each passing second, you grew more and more impatient. Finally, he looked up at you and met your expectant gaze with a frown. As you saw the corners of his lips tug down, your heart unexpectedly plummeted and you knew what the little screen read.
“It’s negative isn’t it?” You asked, defeated. Wade didn’t say anything, just kept looking at you with that same frown, giving you the time to ramble out random thoughts,
“You know what? It’s okay. We don’t need a baby right now, it’s fine. It’s not like we were trying or anything. This is not disappointing at all. It’s probably better this way.”
You stood and wiped the tears off your cheeks and headed out to your bedroom. Wade followed you, then stopped at the entrance to your room, leaning against the door jam. He quirked a hairless eyebrow and watched you through your vanity mirror.
“Do you really think that?” Wade asked seriously.
You halted your process of drying off your eyes and really thought about his question. You wanted to scream no and cry about the baby that never existed. You didn’t think that this was better than the alternative at all. But still, you shrugged a shoulder at Wade and stuck to your guns. Fake it till you make it, right?
“Well suck it up buttercup because you’re pregnant.”
Wade’s words stunned you in place and caused you to whip around to face him,
“What?” You breathlessly asked.
Wade nodded as your feet ungrounded themselves and nearly ran over to Wade. You stole the test out of his hand and read the little screen that spelled out 'positive’ in little digital letters. A warmth of happiness you had never known before spread out all over your body and put the biggest smile on your face. Wade broke you out of your daze with his next words,
“Looks like we’re going to need to get Al down here to assemble a crib.”
Before he could prepare himself, you tackled him in a bear hug, dropping the pregnancy test to the floor. Wade let out a boisterous laugh and wrapped his arms around your waist,
“There we go, that’s more like it.”
His large hand rubbed circles on your back and he buried his face in your neck. You clutched onto his broad shoulders for dear life, never wanting to let go. Needing to show him how much you loved him, you pulled back and framed his face with your hands so you could bring your lips to his.
Wade responded strongly, cupping the back of your head and encircling your waist with his arm. When the need for air arose, the both of you broke apart. Wade pressed his forehead down onto yours and stared into your eyes with pure adoration.
Without warning, he dropped to his knees and slid a hand to caress your still flat belly,
“Hey there little one, it’s your daddy. You probably can’t hear me because you probably don’t have ears yet but you should get used to the sound of my voice now. They don’t call me the merc with a mouth for nothing. Well, your mommy calls me the merc with a mouth for a whole other reason, and that’s probably one of the things that led to you being alive. She cannot resist the talents of my tongue-”
You smirked when Wade let out a sharp “Ow!” after you smacked him on the back of his head.
Wade laughed and brought his other hand on top of your stomach and pushed your shirt up. He moved his head and hands around, looking and feeling for something.
“You’re gonna get so fat.”
The sudden statement caused you send another smack to Wade’s head but you still laughed and looked down at his face.
You took in the brightness shining from his eyes and the absolute glow his smile portrayed. Seeing that, you knew everything was going to be okay.