this is pretty much how every facebook conversation i have ends up

Some of these will not apply to many people so pls take them with a grain of salt. Also I’ve been collecting these pretty much for the two years I’ve been in college so it’s not a guide, they’re just… random I guess.

Making friends 

Warning - specially tailored for super shy people aka me

  • There’s a thing called the ‘first week window of endless oportunities’. It’s when groups are still forming and everyone’s desperate to make friends. This is the time to put your best self forward (I’m not saying be fake, just a little extra friendly).
  • Leave. Your. Door. Open. Do it. Even if you have a roommate. Best way to make friends the first week.
  • Actually get out of your room. You’re not going to meet many people if you hole up in your room. If you have a tv room or people are watching a movie, I don’t care if you’re not interested in what they’re watching, go.
  • If you have the balls to go to the room nextdoor and introduce yourself then you probably can skip this section by all means do it!
  • But if you don’t, going from door to door asking for help with your laundry takes a lot less courage + you will learn how to do laundry. Asking to borrow something (pencil, hair tie, hair dryer) also works.
  • If you’re staying at a residence hall, ask to sit with people at lunch! Nobody is going to say no, i promise.
  • Similarly if you see someone alone, ask them to have lunch with you! 
  • Also if you meet someone you get along with, as soon as you can, ask for their number ‘so you can go to the dinning hall together’. 
  • Remember people’s names - it makes people feel like you actually care about them. I know it’s hard but make an effort. Also it just gets annoying when someone asks about your name for the fourth time. Use mnemonics if you have to.
  • Asking what someone’s major is and where they’re from is standard procedure when you meet them but it doesn’t make for an interesting conversation. Think of other questions!
  • Make sure to arrive about 10 min early to your classes. There’ll be very few people and so it’ll be easier to strike up a conversation (actually people will probably talk to you without you having to say anything which is g r e a t)
  • Say yes - as a rule of thumb, your social life should prevail over your academic life the first two weeks. This is the time where you’re not really pressed for time. Say yes to watching movies, say yes to going to lunch, say yes to going to campus events (and even to parties). Obviously don’t do anything that makes you really unconfortable but do try to step out of your comfort zone
  • Make friends with an upper-classman from your same major. Or at least be on speaking terms. Talk to them on Facebook, ask them about your major, just use any random idc excuse to introduce yourself, it doesn’t really matter how you do it.
  • Don’t go home every weekend, even if you live close by. You’ll miss out on the best of campus life and some of the most fun memories with your new friends.

Keeping your old friends

  • If you know you’re going home for the weekend, try to finish most of your assignments/studying and make time to hang out with your friends. Spending time with them is the best way to keep those friendships alive. 
  • But! Don’t worry too much if you can’t come home or make time for your friends too often, you just have to make an effort to text them regularly. It will come naturally if it’s your best friend, but don’t forget to set a reminder to text other close friends at least once every two weeks.
  • You may think you don’t care now but you will once you come home for the summer.
  • If any of your friends are staying in your hometown for college, be ready for them to get another friend group. That doesn’t mean they’ve forgotten about you, but don’t be mad if they seem to have a lot more plans that don’t involve you. You can always ask to tag along some time and maybe even become friends with these people!
  • Some people you’ll just lose contact with. Don’t fret it.


  • Please print out or buy a calendar that has a whole page for each month. With boxes preferably *shameless plug*. You may think you have it all under control but there’s nothing like being able to see all your due dates, hang out plans and laundry days at a glance. (Also js but the pilot frixion are perfect to use on calendars because they’re erasable).
  • There’s so much space under your bed. UTILIZE IT.

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post-emoji movie Trauma

WARNING: the following text contains spoilers and can be considered disturbing to some readers. especially my brain, because it’s leaking out my ears after typing this.

This is the first movie ever I’ve gone to see on opening night. And let me just say that, for the record, I’m glad I went to watch with friends. Without them, I would have most likely calmly exited the room, climbed up to the roof, and dived straight off.

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1. i don’t know how to say this so i’m just going to say it - don’t text me anymore. don’t call me. don’t ask me how i am when you feel lonely. don’t check up on me. don’t tell me you’re doing well. i don’t want to hear it. i don’t want to hear it because you fucking broke me. GOODBYE.

2. hey, okay, sooo i thought i could be friends with you but it hurts too much. not that you hurt me that much. no, i’m okay. i don’t cry in the shower anymore. some nights i actually fall asleep before 4 a.m. but then there’s some nights where i think about you and her kissing and it’s all that’s on my mind for days. no, no, it’s not like that. it’s not that i love you anymore or that i’m jealous. i just hate you for what you did to me. so yeah, anyways, just thought you should know i don’t want to be friends. hope you’re doing well though. maybe our paths will cross again.

3. i told myself many, many months ago that if i wanted this to work, if i wanted us to be friends, i couldn’t talk to you about my feelings ever again. i couldn’t turn every conversation into our failed relationship. so for many, many months, i’ve been letting it eat at me instead. i don’t want it to eat at me anymore and you don’t want to listen to me whine so i think this has to end. sorry.

4. hey, listen: some days i’m fine, but the smallest things get to me. like i’m pretty sure i saw you on her snapchat story. it’s none of my business, but i’m really mad at you for it. i’m really mad that you still talk to that girl you chose over me and you still like all of these girls’ facebook photos but you never like mine. and it’s not fair for me to be mad at you for having friends or being happy, i have no right to be, you didn’t do anything wrong. but it still gets to me, still eats away at me, still makes me want to knock down your door and ask you why the fuck you had to leave, why you had to do anything you did, why i poured all of my love into you that i didn’t have any left for myself and you took it and gave it to somebody else. god, this hurts. i don’t want you to know how badly this hurts but it does. i’m leaving you and taking this hurt with me.

5. hey, hope you’re doing well, but this still feels like a nightmare i’ll never wake up from. and i’m sorry, i’m so fucking sorry, it’s not fair to you to have to listen to this shit because it’s been two whole years and i’m still not over it. and that’s my problem, not yours. it will never be your fault that i’m so goddamn sensitive. i’ve never been able to get over anything and i hate myself for it. please let me heal. please leave.

6. hey, remember the summer where i hooked up with the first guy who wasn’t you, when you had me blocked on everything and i couldn’t see what you were up to? well, i still read my posts from that summer and i was actually HAPPY. can you believe that? i was actually going about my life without you and i wasn’t thinking about what you did to me. but here i am again, thinking about it and the only thing that’s changed is that you speak to me. and i would love to be friends with you, i would, i’ve been trying so hard to be for months, but it’s making me so damn miserable. and i’m so jealous that she gets to be friends with you and i don’t. i’m sorry i’m not her. i’m sorry i never will be.

7. i’ve been ignoring your messages on purpose and you keep texting me again and it’s exhausting to have to ignore you all of the time and feel so guilty about it. i just don’t understand how you just don’t get the hint. so here’s a bigger one: LEAVE ME ALONE.

8. hey, okay, i know this is sudden but i don’t want to hear from you anymore. i don’t want to think about this anymore. i want to move on with my life and there’s no room for you in it. it was stupid of me to think that just because you’ve always been a good friend to me that we can be friends. we can’t.

9. hey. first off, i want to say i’m sorry, i just need to do what’s best for me. secondly, thank you for always being there when i needed you, but i don’t need you anymore. for now, it has to be just me. it feels like i’m breaking up with you and we’re not even dating, but this is it - this is goodbye. forever. don’t contact me.

10. all you ever did was hurt me. fuck you. i don’t want to see your stupid fucking name on my phone anymore. fucking get out. leave.

—  10 text messages i’m afraid to send because i don’t want to say goodbye to you, not again
some gorillaz headcanons
  • 2d was a teenager during the 90s which means that he knows all the lyrics to all the quintessential 90s songs. when noodle was little they would blast backstreet boys and nsync throughout kong studios and dramatically sing along and jump on the couch pretending to put on concerts. it helped get noodle used to performing and also taught her how to pronounce words in english. even now as an adult noodle will start playing i want it that way on the home speaker system and 2d will show up in the doorway twenty seconds later dramatically screeching “TELL ME WHY AIN’T NOTHING BUT A HEAAAARTACHE.” they both go OFF and have accidentally broken multiple items because they were jamming out so hard.
  • murdoc is half mexican from his mom’s side. it’s part of the reason he went to mexico after phase 1 and why he can speak spanish. he learned rudimentary spanish from visiting his mom in the sanatorium as a little kid, but since he couldn’t visit her much and she died when he was about 11 or 12 he had to teach himself the rest of the language in his 20s.

more under the cut!

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my big list of ADHD homework tips!

as a person with unmedicated ADHD, i struggle a lot with school. and being unmedicated by choice makes getting “official” help a lot harder, but this also applies if you’re someone who can’t afford to get a diagnosis and are medicated for that reason. if you’re like me, things like extended deadlines won’t help you much anyways because the amount of time isn’t the problem

anyways, i thought i’d put together a lot of my coping mechanisms to get decent grades and do my work!! of course these may not help you bc everyone’s brains work differently, even people with the same disabilities, so a lot of these may be completely useless

most of these revolve around MODERATING distractions rather than cutting them out completely

  • try to have a determined outlook, especially in the face of huge projects. for example, think about it in terms of “i WILL get this done” “i’m GOING to finish this, because i have to” “it will definitely happen”. 
  • realize it’s okay to get distracted! it happens, it’s kinda inevitable with this disability honestly. the most valuble thing i’ve learned is how to moderate my distractions. 
  • refresh tumblr often! don’t go TOO far back on your dash. the more you refresh the less there will be to see, so the likelihood of getting bored and going back to what you’re working on is higher. 
  • if possible, once i’ve refreshed tumblr enough and there’s hardly anything new, i close tumblr. i almost never look at facebook but i treat it the same way as i treat tumblr when i do. generally i keep twitter open bc there’s less i can get hyper-focused on
  • do your homework with a friend that’s good at staying focused! generally, they’ll interact with you enough but withdraw enough so you can do your own work
  • put on a show that’ll entertain you but you’ve seen before, for me this is generally bob’s burgers or like, archer
  • when writing an essay, work on the parts you have ideas for first. transitions are actually easier for me to write after i’ve written about main ideas. if anything’s stopping you from moving forward, come back to it later. it’s a lot less intimidating when you’ve written most of the rest of it
  • enlist friends! it doesn’t take too much energy to help someone with adhd pace themselves. if your friends can tell you every 15 minutes or so to write one or two sentences i found it works really well. one or two sentences is unintimidating enough for me to be able to do when someone tells me to do it, and there’s also a pretty big chance i’ll end up writing more than that
  • remember, TINY AMOUNTS OF PROGRESS ARE STILL PROGRESS! set small goals, they’re much easier to accomplish
  • if you encounter a reading that’s really hard for you to process, ie reading over and over again and not actually processing any of it, try and find a summary online or ask a friend to summarize it
  • asking a friend to summarize things is mutually beneficial, bc it’ll help their understanding to try to explain it. this goes for studying too, and having frequent conversations about what you’re studying is a really efficient studying tool! keeping the mood light and joking around is important too
  • for really difficult readings, if you have a REALLY dedicated friend, have them read it out loud to you sentence by sentence and summarize/simplify each sentence. it helps to have conversations about the material throughout too, like asking questions and whatnot

but yeah, this is basically how i got through finals and writing 9 final papers in the past two weeks? none of these require particularly great time management either 

this got kinda long but i hope it can help some people!!

EDIT: added a title and fixed some typos

All Bottled Up

This is Shklance that has been bugging me for two days now, so if you’re uncomfortable with that it’s ok to just skip this and scroll down.

Part 1

I made a part 2 😊

“Oh my god, have you heard?”

“I’m pretty sure everyone in this coffee shop heard you.” Keith grumbled, fighting the urge to turn around and glare at the woman behind him. It was 3 in the afternoon and he needed his iced coffee, it was too hot and humid for excited college girls.

“What?” Thankfully the girl she was with doesn’t seem fazed or mildly excited. Maybe she’s just as tired and sweaty as him this time of the day.

“You know that guy Ethan and the guy he’s dating? I heard they broke up like last night.”

“No way!” Or maybe not. Keith could feel the small jump the girl made on her seat considering that she was seated just behind him. Why the hell did he choose to sit here again?

“Yah. I heard they broke up in a restaurant. In a FUCKING RESTAURANT on their ANNIVERSARY!”

The girl behind him audibly gasp. Keith rolled his eyes but still listened. You can’t really blame him for listening, for one he was seated directly behind the girls; and two, the drama was quite intriguing.

“Oh no, poor Lance!”

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This is awkward

a “we’re exes who got accidentally set up on a blind date, fuck my life” au 

“I am going to murder you,” Jyn growled the second Shara Bey answered the phone.

“Honey, you’ve been trying to do that for years,” her work colleague said at once. “C’mon, surely the date’s not going THAT badly?”

She laughed without humour. 

“Yeah, of the millions of people in all of London, you have somehow managed to set me up with my ex from two years ago.”

Shara, far from being the sympathetic best friend she was supposed to be, just burst out into raucous laughter.

“Oh my god,” she spluttered.

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Moments. Chapter 4: Bait

Idea explained here

You can read all the parts here


“Hey 😊 I have a prompt that I would really like to see written by you; of course you have to decide if you want to put it in your multichapter fic or as a oneshot or if you don’t want to write it at all… we’ll the prompt is “the balloon squad reaction when they find out that Yousef and Sana are dating”.

“Hi, first I wanna say I love your writing… to the point I wake up and check if you’ve posted anything EVERYDAY. I have a prompt request if you’re still taking them… Yousef and Sana have been dating but aren’t ready to tell the ballon squad yet (Elias obviously knows cos captain) but the boys have known from day one and decide to have a little fun by hitting on Sana/baiting Yousana etc etc.. basically balloon squad + Sana banter.. Would love to see you write this… thank you xxxx”

Chapter 4: Bait

“Am I late?” Yousef asked as he approached his friends.

They were on the backyard of the Bakkoush’s –not like they were hanging out at any other place ever- when Yousef arrived. Normally, Yousef was the first one there but that day Mikael, Mutta and Adam were already there, talking to Elias, a conversation that stopped as soon as they saw Yousef, not that he thought about it much.

“No, you’re in time. They were early” Elias explained

“That’s new” Yousef teased his friends “They’re always late”

“Ha ha” Mikael said sarcastically.

“Hey Elias” Adam said suddenly “How is Sana doing these days?”

Yousef’s head snapped at Sana’s name being mentioned. It’s not like the boys didn’t care about Sana but Adam asking about her suddenly seemed strange.

“She’s alright. She’s being through a few rough weeks but she seems to be doing fine now. I guess it had something to do with her friends” Elias said

“I’m glad to hear that, I wouldn’t want her to be sad” Adam said smiling

“Oh I know you wouldn’t” Elias said winking at him knowingly

Yousef frowned and looked back and forth between his friends, trying to understand what was going on. He then looked at Mikael and Mutta to see if they were as confused as he was but they seemed pretty relaxed so he just assumed that he was imagining things. He tried to act as cool as he could, at the end of the day no one was supposed to know that he and Sana were together and getting nervous every time her name was mentioned wasn’t a good way to keep it a secret.

“So…where is she now?” Adam insisted

“She’s in her room, I think” Elias said

“Why don’t you ask her to join us?”

Okay, now that wasn’t his imagination, Yousef thought. Adam seemed really interested on Sana that day.

“I mean…so she doesn’t stay in her room the whole day” Adam said acting clearly nervous“You know…I just…”

“I get it Adam, relax bro” Elias said chuckling

“Yeah…” Adam said with a shy smile “You guys wouldn’t mind right?”

“No, of course not. Anything for you…I mean for her” Mutta said

“Yeah Elias ask her to come” Mikael said supporting the idea

Yousef kept getting more and more confused at the whole conversation. It seemed like all of them knew something that he didn’t, something that involved Adam.

“Yousef?” Elias asked “What do you say?”

“Um, yeah, sure!”


She wasn’t studying, let’s be honest. She was just messing around with her laptop, watching youtube videos, looking at facebook, things like that. She was actually feeling kind of boring when her phone beeped. At first she thought that maybe it would be the girls but then she remembered that they were all studying for a test they had the following day. She picked up her phone from the bed and looked at the texts

Immediately she opened her conversation with a certain boy that was now standing in her backyard.


“Hey boys” Sana said approaching them in the backyard “Elias said I could join us, I hope it’s okay”

“Of course it is!” Adam said way too excited making Yousef squint at him

“It’s okay Sana, we’ll love you to join us” Mikael said

“Yes, the more the merrier” Mutta added

“Thanks guys” Sana said smiling

“By the way Sana, you look really beautiful today” Adam said scratching the back of his neck

Sana widened her eyes at the comment. She didn’t know how to react. She looked at Yousef and saw him frowning, his mouth slightly opened. Then she looked at Elias waiting for some kind of reaction from him but he just looked relaxed. She finally turned to Adam kind of blushing.

“Oh…th-thanks, Adam” she stuttered

“Just stating the truth” he shrugged.

Sana smiled at him kind of uncomfortable about the situation.

“So, what is the plan?” she asked Elias trying to change the subject

“Well we can either stay here or go for a walk”

“I vote for staying here” Adam said

“I rather go out to be honest” Mikael expressed

“Yeah, I think I agree with Mikael, I’m tired of being here” Sana agreed

“You know what? You’re right, let’s go then” Adam changed his mind and smiled at Sana

“Okay…” she said “shall we go then?”

“After you” he said

Sana started to walk and was quickly followed by Adam who stood by her side. As soon as Yousef saw this he made his way to them but was stopped before he could reach them by Elias.

“Hey, Yousef, walk with me bro” Elias said

“What are you doing?” Yousef asked him

“Nothing” he said shrugging

Yousef looked at his friend trying to find out why he was acting that weird but was soon distracted by Sana’s laugh. He looked forward and saw Sana and Adam walking side by side, he was telling her something and she was laughing about it.

Are you seriously not going to say anything about that?” Yousef asked Elias pointing at Sana and Adam

“About what?”

“You told me to stop flirting with your sister when I was only teaching her how to peel a carrot and now Adam is obviously flirting with her and you’re cool with it?”

What? Where is this coming from?” Elias asked

“You really don’t see it? Look at them.” Yousef said “He even called her beautiful!”

“And you don’t think my sister is beautiful?”

“No, I do, I mean I don’t, I mean I do…I mean…that’s not the point…he’s…and she’s…and they…”

“Yousef, breathe” Elias chuckled

“Why are you so cool about this?” Yousef said frowning at him

“Adam’s a good guy, he’s my friend and I want the best for my sister. What’s best than my friend?” Elias said shrugging “Besides, she’s single and she can decide who she wants to date”

“Date? They’re not dating, they’re not going to date each other” Yousef said

“How are you so sure?” Elias asked raising an eyebrow

“Because…I just am”

“You’re really weird today Yousef” Elias said laughing “But don’t worry. I know you love Sana like a sister but I think she can take care of herself”

“Uh, yeah, sure…yeah.” Yousef said looking at the floor

Again, Sana’s laugh caught his attention. It was just him or they were staying a little bit closer to each other than before?

“You know what, you’re right. I’m just…I’m going to tell Adam something I just remembered, be right back” Yousef told Elias not even looking at him

He walked over to where Sana and Adam were walking and stood between them pushing Adam to his side while putting his arm around his shoulder.

“Hey guys, seems like you two are having fun here” Yousef said faking a smile

“Yeah, Sana is so funny” Adam said

Indeed she is” he said looking at Sana who was biting her lip amused by Yousef’s behavior.

He then looked at Adam.

“You know who else is funny? Eva. Weren’t you into her Adam? You really liked her, didn’t you?”

“Uh, yeah I did but I don’t anymore. I have someone else in my mind now, I’m looking for something more serious” Adam said looking passed Yousef and straight at Sana.

“Great” Yousef said bitterly. “You know what? I think Mutta was asking about you, you should go see what he wants”

“Mutta?” Adam asked “Why is he asking about me?”

“I told you, you should go see what he wants” Yousef said


“Just go”

Yousef pushed Adam a little forcing him to go behind them where Mutta, Mikael and Elias were talking. As soon as Adam left, Yousef started to walk a little faster indicating Sana with his head to follow him so they would be far enough from the boys so they wouldn’t hear them

Okay, what was that?” Yousef asked

“What was what?” Sana said confused

“He was flirting with you”

“No, he wasn’t”

“Sana, she called you beautiful”

“And you don’t think I’m beautiful?”

“Argh, not that question again. Yes, I think you’re beautiful but I don’t like when my friend calls my girlfriend that in front of me” he said

Sana smiled to herself, his girlfriend, it sounded so nice from his lips.

“He was just being polite” Sana said shrugging

Yousef stopped dramatically and glared at her

“Okay, maybe he was flirting but it’s Adam, he flirts with everyone”

“I don’t like it” Yousef said starting to walk again

“Oh, don’t be jealous”

“I’m not”

Now it was Sana the one that glared at him

“Okay, maybe I am”

“Well, you better act like you’re not or we’re going to get caught”

“Fine” Yousef said crossing his arms on his chest

“Just for a little bit longer, please”

“Of course” he said nodding and smiling at her

Yo, Yousef!” Adam yelled approaching him “Mutta wasn’t calling me”

“Oh, maybe I heard wrong, my bad”  Yousef said trying not to smile. “I’ll leave you two, then”

“So, we’re back here” Sana said as they came back from the walk an hour and half later “I think I’m going to my bedroom now”

“You can stay if you want” Adam said with a smile

“Yeah, thanks but I have things to do” she said forcing a smile

“Okay, it’s fine, let’s do this again sometime!!” he said

Sana nodded slightly and left, not without sharing a last look with Yousef who rolled his eyes at her.


“Hey again guys” Sana said entering the living room where the boys were

“Hi Sana! You decided to join us again!” Adam said grinning.

“Yeah, I…we need to tell you something” Sana said looking at Yousef

“We? Who’s we?” Elias asked

“Me and her” Yousef said walking to Sana and standing by her side

“Okay so…I don’t know how you’re going to react but…” she looked at Yousef waiting for him to continue

“Oh…yeah, well this might come as a shock for you but…um…”

“Ugh, is it so difficult to tell us that you’re together?” Elias asked

“What?” both Sana and Yousef said at the same time.

Elias, Adam, Mikael and Mutta burst out laughing. Sana and Yousef kept looking at them taken aback from their reaction.

“What is going on?” Sana asked kind of pissed

“You really thought we didn’t know?” Elias said “Come on guys, you’re way to obvious”

“You knew?” Yousef asked “But then why…Adam you…”

“It was all a bait to see how long you were going to last without telling us” Adam explained

“You should’ve seen your face when he called Sana beautiful Yousef” Mikael said laughing

“What about when he said I was calling Adam to keep him away from her?” Mutta said

“This is unbelievable” Yousef said shaking her head

“Oh come on bro, you’ve lasted more than we thought, congrats on that”

“I told you he didn’t like me!” Sana told Yousef “And you kept getting jealous”

“Uh, I’m sorry Sana but you’re not one to talk, you were freaking out every time I talked to you” Adam chuckled

“Oh, were you?” Yousef asked Sana with a smug smile

“Shut up” Sana said rolling her eyes “That was really mean guys”

“It was really funny” Elias said “How long were you actually planning on keeping with this secret relationship?”

“Longer than this…” Sana whispered

“Well, I’m sorry to break it to you but you two suck at pretending.”

“Do you think mom and dad…?” she started asking

“I don’t know but I think you should tell them before they find out on their own”

Sana nodded and sighed.

“I guess they’re next” she said looking at Yousef who nodded in reassurance.


This is it!

Hope you’ve liked it

Thanks for reading♥

RFA: MC is a Hacker

Ayyy this went a little downhill but everything has been stressful! Life is not forgiving, but I hope these are good enough for you!!

Admin Phae

- Honestly he finds out because you’re hitting those keys like your life depends on it
- And he’s just like ‘umm,,, you okay over there??’
- So you reply with ‘ya I’m just trying to hack this site’
- He has a double take
- ‘I’m sorry??????’
- He wonders why you didn’t tell him before
- He can understand it when you say that it just never really came up
- He can’t recall a time when it would’ve
- Although he’s a little surprised that you just came out with it
- He seems to forget that Seven is also a hacker
- Once you get through the whole only just finding out phase
- He’s asking questions left, right and centre
- He’s fascinated and super in awe of you
- Even if he can’t understand some of the technical terms you’re using
- It just adds to the impressive experience
- Even if he knew you were good wit computers before
- He still thinks of you as being like 10x smarter than before
- Even if you don’t have the slightest clue about medicine, he’ll ask you for help when studying
- Mostly it’s just tips on how to do it effectively, though
- It’s pretty cute, how much he looks up to you
- But he’s heard how dangerous it can be so he’s a little scared
- ‘It’s cool, but please don’t get involved with something dangerous!’

- It basically goes ‘oh btw I’m a hacker’
- He doesn’t register at first
- ‘Oh, that’s nice… Wait what?’
- You explain everything to him and he’s just in awe
- He gets you to tell him some stuff about it
- He always tries to find out about your hobbies / things you enjoy
- And this is no different
- You try to tell him things in a more diluted way
- Just so he’ll understand better
- Eventually you just revert to showing him
- It actually fascinates him quite a lot
- And for some
- Godforsaken reason
- About a month prior to him finding out
- You’d started automatically saying ‘I’m in’ whenever you hacked
- So you do it this time
- And he’s a little confused
- He thought it was just some weird myth
- But apparently not
- So you then have to elaborate that it was just a bad habit you formed
- Most hackers
- In fact
- Do not say ‘I’m in’ whenever they do so
- Although he always assumed that Seven was the type to do so too
- So he couldn’t say that he honestly hadn’t thought that some may legitimately say it
- But he tells you that he thinks it’s cute and you should definitely keep the quirk
- But he’s also worried about illegal things you might be doing
- So he makes you promise you won’t do anything over the top
- ‘I worry about you- but I don’t want to stop you from doing things that you like, so just don’t do anything too illegal’

[Jaehee, Jumin, Seven, V, and Saeran are under the cut]

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Christmas Comes Early

Summary: Your mom forces you to go to a premature holiday party that you would rather not attend. To your surprise, you end up meeting one of your favorite actors, Jared Padalecki. 

Word Count: 4520 (oops)

Warnings: Smut!, unprotected sex (wrap it up), oral (female receiving), somewhat public sex, casual drinking, cursing

A/N: There’s a first time for everything! I’ve never written Jared before, but this fic came to me in a dream. Hope you guys enjoy! As always, like/reblog/send me some love if you enjoyed! Tagging some people at the bottom I think may enjoy(:

Originally posted by frozen-delight

“Y/N, for the hundredth time, yes you have to come to the party. I’m sick of making up excuses for why you don’t come to events with us.” Your mom sounded so exasperated over the phone, you could practically see her rubbing her temples. Your parents wanted you to come with them to your mom’s best friend’s holiday party around an hour away from your apartment, and you weren’t exactly feeling like going on your first free Saturday in a long time. Plus, the holidays were still three weeks away. Who has a party this early?

“Jake’s not going either!” Throwing your younger brother under the bus wasn’t a classy move, but you grasping at straws here.

“He has a tournament a state away. He can’t help that.”

“But Mom, I don’t think I have time to drive out there. I’m so busy,” you countered.

“You realize we share a Netflix account and that I can see that you’re forty-five minutes into a Black Mirror episode, right?” Shit, caught, you thought. You tried to think of any other excuse that could keep you firmly rooted to your couch for the rest of the weekend, but came up short.

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Are You Alone?

There were a lot of advantages to working in a small, three person office; no gossip, no drama, and a grateful, genuinely kind boss who recognized how vital her two employees were to keep things running. There were downsides, too, like not having anyone new, or at least different, to talk to for forty hours a week and the generally slow nature of the business, which meant I probably spent more time surfing the net than I did doing actual work.

In the beginning, it was pretty much ideal; I did the work that came my way and then spent the rest of my day doing whatever I wanted (within reason, the boss lady still liked to believe I was being productive). After a couple years, however, it had started to get pretty old. The job was dull and unfulfilling and I got zero satisfaction out of it, but I was far too loyal to Tanya to leave, so I was stuck in a sort of limbo.

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The Contest-Part 16

To celebrate Supernatural’s 15th season, the producers have decided to hold a contest to cast an unknown in a recurring role as Sam’s rumored love interest.  They are doing open casting calls all over the country.  Your best friend Nikki wants to go and she drags you along.

A/N: My inspiration for Nikki is the one and only red, @oriona75.  So I am actually telling two stories here, Jared and Readers, and Sam and Gemini’s.  It flips back and forth, so try and keep up! :)

Characters: Jared Padalecki, Reader, Best friend Nikki(OC) Jensen Ackles, Misha Collins, Mark Sheppard, PA Emily (OC) Cliff, Other Supernatural cast and crew

Master List

Part 1 (all parts are linked)

The five of us ended up at one of the casinos on the strip.  Don’t ask me which one, because the next day it would all be a blur.  Jensen bought the first round of shots and we toasted the happy couple.  

“I still think you guys are nuts and totally deserve each other.”  He said before downing his shot.

“You call that a toast, Jay?”  I commented with a roll of my eyes. I signaled for the bartender to bring another round.  I raised my glass and everyone followed suit.  “Here’s to Nikki and Misha.  She is officially your problem now.”

Everyone laughed as we downed our shots.  Nikki made a face and gave hers to Misha to finish. “I’d like to remember my wedding night, thank you very much.”

Then a group of fans recognized us and bought us a round.  Things started to get a little fuzzy after that.  I remember Misha reminding us we all had panels in the morning. 

 Jensen, who didn’t have any official duties until the Saturday Night Special the next night, said it was early yet and ordered another round.  I remember Nikki and I dancing with a bunch of fans who sent over a congratulatory round when they found out Nikki and Misha had eloped.

Jared and Misha finally came over and pulled us from the dance floor.  “Come on Dancing Queen, time to go.”  Jared told me as I stumbled into his arms.

“But I’m having funnn!” I giggled.  “Hey Mish, guess what?” I whispered drunkenly.  “You and Nikki got married!”

I don’t remember the ride back to the hotel at all.

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anonymous asked:

dino > neighbor/best friend AU ~ <3

me: queen of going too far
  • good concept. great concept. lets begin.  *rubs my hands together viciously*
  • so ever since you could remember, your neighbor was this cute old lady who considered you as one of her own grandchildren
  • like she’d bake cookies, cupcakes and other fun stuff like that and always brought them over to your house for you to eat
  • also she left the gate to her backyard open all the time for you to come over n play bc she had a lot more grass than your backyard
  • basically u loved her so much not only because she baked you stuff but she was always there for you when no one else was n she was so so kind and she watched you grow up and wOW IM GETTING EMO
  • you’re in highschool now n one day when you get home from school you see a moving truck and you’re like “wait wtf” so you come over to see what’s going on
  • and cute grandma says “im getting too old to live by myself, so i’m going to move to a resting home…” and you feel your heart shattering into millions of pieces and you almost cling to her and tell her to move in with your family
  • and she sees the tears forming in your eyes and she’s like “don’t worry, my family members will be moving in!! my grandson is your age, i’m sure you’ll get along well”
  • and on the day she leaves you’re so bitter bc you’ll miss her and you’ll miss her baking and her kind words
  • you’re so bitter that you don’t even bother welcoming the family in so you just head right back inside your house
  • after moping around for a bit in your room you decide to go out to your backyard to get some fresh air or something
  • so you’re just minding your own business until you you hear a particularly loud curse word and a soccer ball just goes right over your head and lands a few feet away from you
  • judging from where the ball is, you concluded that it came from the other side of the fence,, where grandma’s backyard is,,,,,
  • you just shrug and toss it back over, n then you decide to go back inside bc you weren’t in the mood to get hit by a ball if it happened again
  • the second you get inside you hear a knock on your front door and you’re like ??? and when you go to open it you’re like………. whom
  • the boy in front of you has like.. sweat glistening on his forehead and his eyebrows are kind of furrowed and he’s wearing a thin shirt and you’re like… mom holy f*ck
  • and then he turns to look at you and in your head you’re like “dhjzHEFUH I WAS STARING SH*T”
  • and then he’s like “hi.. yeah i’m ur new neighbor… i might have kicked a ball over to your garden… is it okay if i get it?”
  • and then you finally get yourself together and you’re like “oh i already tossed it back. what’s your name?”
  • “chan! you must be y/n, grandma told me a lot about you. we’ll be going to the same school!”
  • and you’re like…. ho ly c ow grandma has an attractive grandson “cool! we can walk to school together.”
  • “that’d be awesome! see ya, y/n!”
  • and then he leaves and you’re just standing at your front door like an idiot like “why did i say we should walk to school together how am i gonna sURVIVE”
  • the first time you walk to school together it’s kind of awks, but chan’s just rly good at making conversation and by the time you’re walking home you feel like you’ve known him forever
  • that mfriends, is how u and chan became bfs (best friends)
  • chan joins the soccer team @ your school and you BET your ass is there at every game with a giant poster board of his face, embarrassing the hell out of him.. you also show up to his practices with food n stuff and he’s like “y/n.. my saving grace.. my only god(dess)…”
  • “shut up ur so dramatic.. here’s your popcorn chicken”
  • when u get ur first s.o., chan is like “if they do anything stupid i’ll kick their ass”
  • “gee thanks”
  • every day he comes over n hangs out in your backyard to do hw and then after a while he gets bored n is like “…. you wanna watch me play soccer” “thank god i thought you wouldnt ask”
  • and then you leave your homework behind to go to his backyard and watch him kick the soccer ball around idk how sports work sorry lmfao
  • and this is like a ritual for u guys like.. every day you’d walk to school together, you’d hang out together, you’d visit his practices/games if he had them, you’d walk home together, do hw together, BASICALLY YOU DID EVERYTHING TOGETHER
  • then one day ur s.o. breaks up with you and you’re pretty much “well this is how i d*e” and you know chan is gonna have a big game soon, so you decide not to burden him with your problems
  • and you’re slowly avoiding him and you start waking up earlier to go to school, pay no attention to him at school, leave the second the bell rings, etc.
  • and even though you did it not to worry him, you don’t know that you’re actually worrying him even more,, like his coach keeps telling him “get ur head together” but he can’t because he’s just so concerned about you
  • so he asks a few of your other friends if anything’s wrong and they’re like “y/n didn’t tell you?? ______ broke up with them.”
  • and chan’s suddenly like “WHAT THE HEL L??>?” and he’s abt to go to kick the ass of whoever broke your heart, but then he thinks about how horrible you must feel n he gets all emotional
  • he doesn’t know what to do so he ends up calling grandma for advice and she tells him everything he needs to know abt what u need when you’re upset
  • and you’re at home and your face is all puffy from crying (both from best friend withdrawals and from the break up) and you get a text from chan saying “come outside”
  • and you ignore the message at first but then he starts messaging you on everyplatform like facebook, instagram, snapchat, kkt, skype, etc
  • all of them just say “come out” and you’re like JESUS CHRIST OKAY
  • and you drag yourself out of bed to your front door and when you open it up you see chan with a phone in hand and a plate of cookies in the other and he just looks so so sad and your heart shatters right there
  • “i don’t know what i can do to help, but grandma told me that her cookies always made you feel better.”
  • and you can see that he has a little bit of flour still on his hands and he has the vanilla baking smell on him and you just start tearing up n you pull him into a hug n start sobbing
  • n he’s just patting your back like “there there,,, also the cookies are getting cold,,,”
  • but anyways after that event let’s just finish this quickly and say that chan went from your bf (best friend).. to your bf (boyfriend) :’)
  • EXTRA: chan texts the news to grandma and she’s just “hehe… my plan worked”

anonymous asked:

Oh my gosh last headcanons were so sad! *cries a million tears* (still beautiful though) I think we all need a feel-good headcanons now! Like, what would happen if Candy met the boys again years after school has ended? They're single and some lingering feelings are still there for both parts? :)

(in reference to this)

Sorry it took so long for this to be up but I hope you like it, i feel like something is missing from it but idk what to add… But thanks! And sorry that Kentin and Armins are really short i didnt intend for that to happen


  • I feel like Nate would just kind of freeze up and stare at you for a while, like “wait is that actually her??”
  • Depending on whether or not you guys ever got back on god terms after the break up, his approach would be different. If you were on god terms he’d probably just walk up to you like “Is that you y/n??” but if you were on bad terms he might wait until you approach him first. He asks what you’re doing lately, if you’re in college then what you’re currently studying. Small talk.
  • He didn’t really think much of you after high school had ended but after seeing you again he gets this feeling in his chest that he just can’t get to go away.
  • Doesn’t realize he still has feelings for you until maybe a little while later. Maybe a week after seeing you.
  • Let’s hope you two exchanged numbers when you ran into each other because he would definitely work up the courage to call you and invite you out for some coffee to “catch up.” He really is just testing the waters to see if his feelings are real or if it was just the shock of seeing you.
  • He’s totally realizing the feelings are real when he meets up with you. He still gets that spark that he felt when he dated you in high school.
  • He honestly would take forever to admit to you that he still has feelings for you, you might be better off confessing first tbh. But he wouldn’t just rush into the relationship though. He’d want to take time to get to know you again because you’re bound to change after a few years. I’m sure he would change too, so he wants to make sure you clash well together.
  • After a while he questions why you decided to end things with him so suddenly. He just wants to know if it was something he did or not.


  • I could actually see Castiel dating a bit here and there but never getting too serious with anyone. Just some flings. When he sees you he automatically feels that same surge of affection he felt back in high school. Not like “I love her” but like “wow she’s still so beautiful”
  • He hesitantly will approach you. If you were on good terms throughout school he’ll just go p to you like “Wow, after all these years you’re still an ironing board.” He’s acting casual but he’s actually really hot and feels like his chest is about to burst.
  • I could see him changing his appearance a bit after high school. He might dye his hair back to its natural color and wear it in a cute half up half down ponytail, he would keep the dark clothes but he’d just dress a bit more like an adult. He would compare how much you’ve both changed since then.
  • After seeing you he catches himself thinking about it a lot, and even when he tries to think of something else he thinks of something else he finds himself thinking of you once again
  • He only calls you after he actually can’t take it anymore. He’d be trying to convince himself that there was no point in trying to rekindle old fires, blah blah blah but then he sees your number and he’s like “fuck it.”
  • He would be very cautious about the whole thing, trying to feel you out, see how things go. He doesn’t want to get into something that he knows won’t work.
  • After a while, if he feels like it’s worth it to try again he’s probably going to just confess to you whether he wants to or not. He doesn’t want to think about what could have been, so he’s just going to take the chance.
  • After a long time, when he’s secure enough to know you won’t leave him again or anytime soon he’ll demand an explanation as to what the hell was going through your head years ago when you broke it off with him. He’s not mad, but he was really hurt at the time so yeah…


  • Lysander would be in a momentary state of surprise when he sees you. His eyes would go a little wide when he sees you and he would slowly walk over to you. “Hello y/n.”
  • He would talk to you for a while but he’d probably keep the conversation a bit short because he doesn’t want to take up too much of your time. But if you keep it going he’s happy to stay there.
  • He’ll find himself randomly seeing something and then thinking “That reminds me of y/n…” and he’ll just keep thinking about you without realizing it. He’ll even start to mention you indirectly in conversation while talking to Leigh or Rosa, but it just slips out.
  • He probably wouldn’t even pursue his feelings if he realized they were still there. “It’s been years, they probably have another partner.” Or “They broke up with me for a reason back then so why bother now?”
  • He honestly won’t even confess to you so if you want to get back together that bad then you better just confess to him yourself or else you’ll never get him. He knows he still has feelings for you but he just doesn’t want to impose on your life or ruin your friendship.
  • He takes the relationship slower than any of the other guys. You did break up with him very suddenly and he never got a good explanation, so he’s just being careful in order not to hurt himself again.
  • He falls for you once again but even more deeply than before and he makes sure to cherish every moment he has with you this time. He’ll always wonder why you ended it so many years ago but he won’t ask you until waaaaay later in the relationship. He doesn’t see the point in talking about something irrelevant now, but he’s also curious.


  • I could honestly see him keeping in touch with you over social media through the years. And even if you don’t talk he’ll occasionally pop up in your notifications with a funny comment, or you see him liking your pictures.
  • He’ll see a really attractive photo of you and its then that he decides to message you, probably on facebook or something. He always still found you attractive but he never acted on it until then.

  • If he was too shy to approach you then Alexy more than likely messages you without telling Armin, and asks you to meet with him somewhere. He brings Armin along who has no clue you’re going to be there and now he’s shook asf cause he wasn’t prepared.

  • You guys talked online for a few months before he began to take a real interest in you, and that’s when he decides to invite you out somewhere. You guys basically just start off as really close friends and it progresses from there.

  • Once he realizes he has feelings for you still he just confesses straight up, as long as he’s gotten some signs that you might feel the same way. If not then he’s cool with it, he’ll just like you from afar.

  • He doesn’t really intend for the relationship to go that far in the first place but after a bit he finds himself falling more and more in love with you.


  • I feel like you and Kentin would still talk here and there once school was over. He’ll text you every once in a while, and you’ll occasionally get a random phone call from him, just wanting to catch up. He’d probably be the only one of the guys to keep in close contact with you after the break up and such.
  • He probably already knew he still had a slight crush on you but he just never realized it until one day you decided to invite him out for breakfast or lunch, and when you walked in he way just like “….Woah.”
  • He starts to hang out with you more and more after that. I feel like with time he would have gained a bit more confidence so he wouldn’t be as nervous around you but he’d definitely be a little shy once he realizes his emotions towards you. You start t notice he’s always red-faced when he’s around you.
  • He tells himself not t mess this up and just stay friends. It would take a lot of obvious signs form you for him to realize that you just might return the feelings as well but he’s pretty oblivious so yeah.
  • He kind of just blurts it out after he just cannot take it anymore. Like maybe you’re hanging out again and you just look so beautiful that he can’t help himself. He takes the relationship slow but he’s very sweet and clingy even in the beginning but will back off if you ask.
  • He always wonders why you broke up with him but I could see he just deciding not to ask for fear of what your answer may be.
Call me, Maybe?

Anonymous said:
A scenario in which you get a call from telemarketer!yongguk and you answer cause you have nothing else to do/bored, so you end up actually having a conversation w/ him and he calls you like every day to sell you things bc he really likes talking to you and idk it’s just so cute to think about it ^.^ thank you! <3

Thanks for requesting!! This is like a super uber cute idea! I hope you don’t mind that I made it into a little Valentine’s Day gift to my fellow single ladies out there. <3
In case you haven’t noticed, I’ve been kind of experimenting lately; this is another part of that. It’s currently a stand alone one shot, but perhaps if you’d like to see more, I can make a second part or so.

Feb. 14th, 2017 | 7:16 PM

Another Valentine’s spent alone, aside from the pile of deadlines that can wait until tomorrow and a cat that wants about as much to do with you as [insert any of your multiple celebrity crushes]… whom obviously isn’t even aware of your existence.  Honestly, you’re better off that way anyway.  Who needs to burden themselves with a corny Valentine’s date anyway? And how lame are the gifts? Flowers that will die in a few days and take up space in your already small apartment. Cheap chocolate packaged in heart shaped cardboard that you’ll probably devour so fast your stomach will protest, and you’ll have to eat extra healthy for a week to make lesson the guilt of that unnecessary binge.  Nah, you’re better off alone… and bored.  So very bored.  

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Let me start by saying that Peter Terry was addicted to heroin.

We were friends in college and continued to be after I graduated. Notice that I said “I”. He dropped out after two years of barely cutting it. After I moved out of the dorms and into a small apartment, I didn’t see Peter as much. We would talk online every now and then (AIM was king in pre-Facebook years). There was a period where he wasn’t online for about five weeks straight. I wasn’t worried. He was a pretty notorious flake and drug addict, so I assumed he just stopped caring. Then one night I saw him log on. Before I could initiate a conversation, he sent me a message.

“David, man, we need to talk.”

That was when he told me about the NoEnd House. It got that name because no one had ever reached the final exit. The rules were pretty simple and cliche: reach the final room of the building and you win $500. There were nine rooms in all. The house was located outside the city, roughly four miles from my house. Apparently Peter had tried and failed. He was a heroin and who-knows-what-the-fuck addict, so I figured the drugs got the best of him and he wigged out at a paper ghost or something. He told me it would be too much for anyone. That it was unnatural.

I didn’t believe him. I told him I would check it out the next night and no matter how hard he tried to convince me otherwise, $500 sounded too good to be true. I had to go. I set out the following night.

When I arrived, I immediately noticed something strange about the building. Have you ever seen or read something that shouldn’t be scary, but for some reason a chill crawls up your spine? I walked toward the building and the feeling of uneasiness only intensified as I opened the front door.

My heart slowed and I let a relieved sigh leave me as I entered. The room looked like a normal hotel lobby decorated for Halloween. A sign was posted in place of a worker. It read, “Room 1 this way. Eight more follow. Reach the end and you win!” I chuckled and made my way to the first door.

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Unwilling and unable to face everyone on her own when it comes time to attend Auggie and Ava’s wedding, Riley Matthews hires a solution in Lucas Friar. Loosely based on The Wedding Date.

Part One // Part Two // Part Three

Rating: Around a PG 13/14

Notes: Sorry this took me a little bit longer than anticipated between vacation and then fighting to get the dynamics just how I wanted them… My best guess is that this sort of wait is what you can approximately expect for updates as we move forward. 

Thanks to everyone who has read, reblogged, commented, liked…whatever you’ve done to support the fic. It means the world to me. And just a reminder, I’m more than happy to chat about this or any of my other fics if you pop into my inbox. I promise I’m friendly. 

In this installment, Riley and Lucas are late to dinner, there’s some hand-holding, and Riley has a small chat with her dad. 

“It went fine.” Lucas repeats his assurance with a sigh. It’s only the umpteenth time since they had officially checked into their room that he’s said something similar but it doesn’t do anything to stop Riley’s frenzied work at unpacking her things and getting everything in the room set up ‘just so’, something he is almost positive is a manifestation of her nerves over the whole week.

 Of all the clients he’s had since he started working as an escort, Riley is definitely the biggest bundle of nerves and insecurities.

She’s also the prettiest, but Lucas really does his best to make sure he’s not actively thinking about that; it has nothing to do with the job and thinking like that is one of the fastest ways to start forming attachments. Not a good business practice.

“How can you say that?” Riley asks, hanging some of her clothing up in the room’s wardrobe. “I was completely flustered…”

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Cutting hours for Loss Prevention personnel is generally a bad idea.

I used to work in loss prevention for a regional chain of electronics stores. Let’s call it Shit Store. My job was basically to patrol the store in plain clothes and detain someone if I caught them trying to steal. I’ve worked private security before so this was a pretty nice gig.

Shit Store’s corporate policy, for reasons I cannot quite comprehend, mandated a weekly quota of shoplifter apprehensions, which we called “stops.” We needed to have at least 3 stops a week. Usually we had about 10, just shy of 2 per day, and obviously most of the stops involved expensive electronics. We paid our own salaries many times over and saved the company an astronomical amount of money.

Until one week. Saturday rolled around (our schedule weeks ran Sunday-Saturday) and all loss prevention personnel were called into the office. There were four of us. The store manager told us that only two stops had been made for the week, so we had not met our quota. He contacted corporate and they told him to give all loss prevention personnel the entire next week off to save on costs. An extra cashier would be scheduled to stand by the door as a deterrent. (I later learned that other stores were implementing this policy in order to phase out plain clothes LP altogether.)

As you can imagine, a week of no pay did not exactly go over well with us. It was particularly bad timing for me. My rent was due, my dog had some vet bills, and my nephew’s birthday was coming up. I, and all of my co-workers, did everything to fight this. We talked about how we usually met our quota many times over, How we paid our own salaries with all the stops we did, how much money we had saved the company, how laughably ineffective an untrained cashier standing by the door would be… but it all fell on deaf ears. By the end of it the manager was clearly flustered but insisted that we just stay home the next week. “Think of it like a vacation,” he said. We all had paid time off available but of course he said that we couldn’t use it. “It’s about cutting losses for the company,” he said.

Cutting losses, oh dear. If only he knew the shit I was about to pull…

We all went home feeling pissed and wronged. But before I even set foot in my door, I had the vague beginnings of a plan for vengeance.

The Revenge

Now, I had a few friends, or I guess acquaintances, who were a bit shady. They were generally straight-laced, but they themselves had friends who were even shadier. Dealers, addicts, and even a few gang members if the rumors were true. They usually hung out in one of three parks in the city limits, so after blowing off some steam at home, I began to make my rounds.

The conversation with each group followed a pretty set pattern: I would say hi but look a little pissed, they would ask how I was doing, I’d say something like “Not too good I guess, Shit Store just gave the entire loss prevention team the week off to save money! I’m gonna miss out on an entire paycheck!” A few would probe a bit and I would verify that, yes, anyone could walk into the store and take shit without having to worry about an undercover LP watching them.

I knew that my plan was beginning to take hold when someone I hadn’t talked to posted on Facebook asking if it was true that Shit Store had no loss prevention this week. Word gets around fast. All I had to do now was head to the store, grab a 30 pk of beer, and slowly drink the week away while shit went down.

People lost their fucking minds. A shit load of product went missing every day, and not just little things– people were apparently walking out with giant flat screen TVs and refusing to stop for the lowly cashier by the door (that usually wasn’t paying attention anyway). Tablets, laptops, netbooks, and consoles vanished into thin air. Several cell phones from the display case even went missing.

I would not hear about this till later, though. All I know is that on Wednesday, hardly halfway through my unpaid week off, I got a call from work. I let it go to voicemail and couldn’t help but crack a smile when I listened to it. It was the store manager asking me to come in and work a full shift because of “problems they’d been having.” You could almost hear the desperation in his voice. I knew my little scheme had worked. But sadly, I chose not to respond or come in for work that day. Even if I wanted to, I was pretty deep into a 6-pack at the time.

I got another call the following day, which this time I answered. Gee boss, I’m so sorry but I’m actually eight hours away at the beach right now. I thought going out of town would be a good idea since you said to treat this like a vacation. (Actually I was still in my PJ’s, drinking coffee and watching Breaking Bad.)

The following day I did not get a phone call. Shit Store had bused LP personnel in from other stores and had a police officer stand by the door. I’m sure the police department was happy to oblige, I can only imagine how many calls they got from Shit Store over the past week.

When I went back after my week off was up, there were two new policies that were tacked right on to the bulletin board: at least one LP associate must be on the floor from open to close, and the quota was changed from # of stops per week to amount of money saved in a month, a much more flexible and reasonable quota that the four of us would have no problem meeting. Well, three of us actually, one of my fellow LP’s made use of their week off by getting a new job, and good for them.

I never did learn the hard numbers on how much money hemorrhaged out of that store. I do know that it was in the six-figure range.

I thought about getting a new job myself, but it didn’t prove to be necessary. I guess a company that cuts all LP’s for a week must have deeper financial problems, because the whole chain folded two months later. I then got to spend my days drinking beer, watching Netflix, and getting paid unemployment for it. I ended up landing a new job with a private security firm that paid much better.

I ran into my shadier acquaintances showing off their new iPads a few days after this mess. I think I know how they got them.

Hog the Covers

Read on AO3


This was written a long time ago and I’m not re-reading it before I post it, so good luck.

Isak hogs the covers.

He claims it’s because he’s spent all his life sleeping alone, but Even doesn’t understand that argument because, up until Isak, he usually slept alone too.

Even from the first day they shared a bed, Isak hogged the blankets, and continues to do it to this very day. It didn’t matter if it was in the Kollektivet, Even’s parents’ house, or their own apartment. It always ends up happening.

And Even has had enough of it.

He does find it cute on some level, because he wakes up to Isak burrowed tight into a cocoon of blankets, but it doesn’t mean that he doesn’t freeze his ass of. Every. Single. Night.

Even has brought it up on multiple occasions, from making casual teasing jokes to “Seriously. I have to have some warmth. You don’t want me dying of hypothermia in my sleep”. But every time, no matter what the occasion, Isak brushes it off like a joke, or just as teasingly denies he does it.

Even has tried everything. He’s let Isak take all the covers and then pulled out a new blanket just for himself. Miraculously, in the morning, it’s added to the pile of blue and brown bedding that’s burrito-ed around the younger boy in the morning.

He’s tried lying half on top of the covers so that Isak doesn’t even have enough to grasp onto when he rolls over, but somehow, he almost consciously keeps tugging the blankets until they break free and envelop him in a pocket of warmth.

He’s bought them a new blanket, one that’s bigger then their whole bed. He figures that even if it makes its way over to Isak’s duvet castle, some of it will hang off enough that he can climb underneath it. But that didn’t work either. The blanket still manages to get itself wrapped around Isak twice over.

He’s even considered pulling a Malcolm in the Middle and sewing his t - shirt to the duvet.

Even can’t live like this any longer.

So, naturally, being the King of Extra, Even plans a stakeout.

He goes through the normal bedtime routine. They strip to their underwear, Even leaving his white cotton t-shirt on, they brush their teeth together, and climb under the covers. Isak lies on his stomach with his head facing Even. Even lies on his side, and soon enough, Isak drifts off into a peaceful sleep. Even, on the other hand, has only closed his eyes for a few minutes. When he is sure Isak is asleep, he reaches over onto their dresser and grabs the little pad of paper and pen, sketching to keep his mind occupied for a while.

He’s filled up a few small square pages with random doodles when inevitably, Isak rolls over, yanking the blue and brown striped bedspread with him. Even glances at the clock: 1:21. He scribbles the time stamp in the margins of his doodle paper for safe keeping. Then, not being too worried about waking Isak up (because let’s be honest, that kid sleeps like a rock), Even returns the paper to it’s place on the nightstand, flopping back down somewhat violently onto their mattress. He grabs the extra blanket he hid under the bed in preparation and snuggles into it, knowing fully that it will end up on Isak’s side of the bed in the morning, but not really giving a fuck either way. It only takes about 5 minutes for him to fall asleep.

The next morning, things go normally. Isak wakes up while Even is padding around in the kitchen making eggs. They greet each other with a “halla” and a quick peck to the lips. Isak knows there’s something different with Even today. They’ve been together long enough now that Isak notices the slight bags under his eyes, and he can recognize all the little idiosyncrasies Even has when something’s wrong. And while it doesn’t necessarily seem like there is anything wrong, Isak knows he’s up to something.

The next night Even does the same things, just to be sure the times are consistent. That night, Isak rolls over at 1:36.

The third night, things go more or less the same. Isak falls asleep and Even kinda pretends to be. But tonight, Even has his phone in hand instead of pen and paper. He swipes the brightness all the way down, keeping an eye on the time as he scrolls through Pinterest looking for more DIY projects for the apartment.

It’s around 1:15 that he sits up a little, closing Pinterest and opening a new app in place: Snapchat.

He only downloaded it about a month ago. Or rather, Magnus took his phone and downloaded it one Friday when he was too tipsy to really think much of it. Because Magnus was the one who set it up for him, the only people he had as friends were the Boy Squad, Girl Squad, Balloon Squad, and Kollektivet and friends (plus his mom, because she’s woke af). He didn’t use it that much. If he was bored he’d check to see what everyone was up to.

Anyway, the point is that he only used it occasionally to talk to people one on one, and he never posted anything on his story. So, it’s 1:15 and he has Snapchat open and night mode on, ready to catch the blanket hog in action. He sits there until 1:29 when Isak does roll over, and holds his thumb over the bubble at the bottom of the screen and waits for the red circle to close as Isak tosses and wraps all the covers and the whole duvet around himself. Even lets the video time out to ten seconds, puts a filter on it to make it a little brighter, and saves it to his memories.

The next morning as Isak rolls out of bed and is getting ready for school, he hears Even address him from the next room over.

“You know, you stole all the covers again last night.” Isak snaps his head over to he direction of the kitchen from where he is at the table.

“Nei, I did not.” He replies, his voice laced with childishness. Even returns from the kitchen with his tea mug in hand and sits down across from him.

“Ja, you did. You do every night. I freeze to death every morning, and you don’t even care. You need to do something about it”, Even says kind of smugly, raising his eyebrows as he sips his tea.

Whatever”, Isak says in English while narrowing his eyes. “You’re just sensitive”, he adds mockingly.

“You are aware that you have all the sheets wrapped around you when you wake up, right?” Even already knows he’s won this argument.

“I- but- that’s just- whatever”, Isak sputters lamely.

Even nods in a way that seems like he just confirmed plans with a friend. Now Isak knows he’s up to something.

Later that day, Isak, Even, and the rest of the Boy Squad are sitting around the courtyard chatting and eating lunch.

Jonas is retelling some anecdote about something embarrassing that happened to Magnus at a party on Saturday, Madhi occasionally interjecting a noise or a line to add the dramatic retelling. Magnus, meanwhile, sits by with a slowly reddening face as he sprinkles weak little “I did not”s and “That’s not how it happened”s through the story.

Eventually the whole conversation spirals into The Best and Worst of Magnus anecdotes, which then get weaved into The Best and Worst of Isak anecdotes, because Isak is the boy’s second choice of who to make fun of, Magnus claiming first of course. Jonas is currently reliving a story in which a girl in their elementary school class had a crush on Isak. Apparently, one day she tried to kiss him in the schoolyard, and he didn’t know how to deal with it, so he just kicked her in the shin and walked away. All the boys thought this was extremely comical, Magnus in particular, who unnecessarily points out, “It’s funny ‘cause now he’s with a boy now!” Even finds this whole story pretty hilarious and will definitely tease him endlessly about it later, but he has more pressing matters to attend to right now.

“Have I told you guys about Isak hogging all the blankets during the night?” Isak is immediately rolling his eyes, shaking his head, and saying, “Not this again, Even. You’re so dramatic.” All the boys turn to Even, Magnus’ mouth hanging open slightly, all of them silently asking are you gonna do anything about this?

Even just gives a little shrug and drops it. Its okay, because he has a plan for later.

Later that evening, Isak is lying on their bed scrolling through his phone while Even sits at the table, sketching. Isak liked Vilde’s latest post on Instagram, had scrolled through Facebook already, and was now checking Snapchat. Jonas posted a video of himself trying to film while skating, and ended up almost face planting. Eva posted a cute selfie of her and Penetrator Chris, Vilde posted a video of Chris talking about something weird and probably out of context, and Even posted- wait. Was he seeing this right? Even Even? Like, the Even he was dating that refused to post anything ever on his story Even? He clicks on Even’s name.

Over the top of his sketchbook Even sees Isak jolt upright right before screeching an ear piercing, “EVEN! HVA FAEN!? HOW COULD YOU!?” Isak doesn’t wait for an answer before he’s springing up and crossing the room to Even, who is currently tipped back in his chair resting on its back legs and laughing his ass off.

“GIVE ME YOUR PHONE”, Isak demands, and Even hands it over with a few more dissipating giggles. Isak opens the Snapchat app, pressing the three little dots on the right of the screen next to the My Story banner.  He scrolls down and presses on the video captioned “I told you, gutta”.Upon reading who all has viewed the video (Jonas, Yousef, Madhi, Mamma <3, Mikael, Adam, Noora, Magnus, Elias, Eva, Sana, Mutta, Eskild, Linn, Vilde, and Chris. So basically, everyone that mattered), Isak lets loose another sting of profanities while slamming his fists into Even’s chest and whining at the loudest possible decibel. Even is back to shaking with booming laughter while weakly trying to calm Isak down.

Needless to say, Isak will definitely get him back for this.


I don’t know if I want to continue these. We’ll see.

I wanna play your game (Biadore) - shadyqueenie

A/N: Emh…hi? This is my first fiction here. I’m kinda nervous. A week ago someone asked a Biadore following this prompt “Are you okay?” “Don’t ask stupid questions” and my mind flew away.

Super short summary: Adore and Bianca are in a club – and drunk Bianca reveals her strategies.

He/she pronouns are interchangeable. Also, English is not my first language. If someone wants to be my beta or just tell me I made a huge grammar mistake, then I will be really happy to correct! (:

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