this is pretty jank but anyways

My subconscious puts a lot of effort into its bullshit.

I dreamed that there had been some sort of deal made that Andrew Hussie had to finish Homestuck by the end of the year or all the apocalypses would happen. All possible apocalypses.

Since the apocalypse needs prep time, things had been going subtly wrong all year, but in June everything went pretty much to shit. List of problems I observed Homestuck to have caused:

* Everything’s genetic structure is janked up, and a lot of people are like, part-bear, or can only eat this specific ambiguously-sentient parasitic flower or they die of allergic reaction, but the flowers don’t fill all their nutritional needs so they eventually starve anyway. The flowers are very pretty.

* Sea level is rising dramatically in some places and dropping in others; the English Channel is dry.

* The passage of time is fucked up, so while in some places this has all only been going on for a month, in some it’s been apocalypsing for eons.

For example, the English Channel has been dry for long enough that new intelligent species have evolved there, formed a peaceful civilization, and barred all outsiders from entry using their advanced magitechnology. This civilization… is Redwall.

* Agriculture and weather are glitching out and there’s widespread famine and drought.

Annnnd bunch of competing sets of aliens of varying levels of hostility have invaded, including:

  • the ones from The Screwfly Solution
  • Homeworld gems
  • elves (???)
  • Team Rocket (fine, I guess we’re doing this)
  • the cast of Disgaea
  • angels (unaffiliated with Disgaea or Homestuck)
  • horrorterrors
  • no trolls, conspicuously!

I had a small RV, and had formed a temporary alliance with Lapis and Jasper. I would not ordinarily have allowed Jasper inside my small RV, but her gem had been worn down by the sand at the sea-bottom, making her smaller - she was now only seven feet tall - and also extremely passive, gentle, and depressed.

So the relationship just wasn’t working for Lapis anymore, and when their body of water had dried up due to a non-gem-related apocalypse, they’d unfused, and were on their way to Beach City to ask Steven to heal Jasper. I was taking them as far as the southwestern edge of Screwfly territory, which I wasn’t prepared to enter.

(Since they’re on their way east, I guess Malachite made her way to the Pacific Ocean eventually.)

We’d been travelling with a caravan of Homestuck Cultists, who had stopped in a roofless abandoned town overgrown with beautiful but creepy mutant plants. They were very sure that Homestuck would end by the end of the year - however long a year lasts - and that the world would be saved. I had doubts and was planning to move to outer space pretty soon.

Keep reading

So… Cactus’ recent inquiries into the size of the great spirit robot got me thinking. We know that the official height is listed at 40 million feet. This just seems absurd. I mean, the diameter of the Earth is 41.8 million feet. Given the fact that the GSR was lying down on a moon, this seems a bit silly. Yes, Mata Nui is fuckhuge, but not that fuckhuge, unless the entire Spherus Magna system is bizarrely scaled as well.

Anyway, something I’ve been meaning to do for a while is figure out a more reasonable height for the GSR, one that makes sense given everything else we’ve seen. We know that the island of Mata Nui covers the GSR’s face. We know how big the face is compared to the rest of the robot. If we know the size of the island, we can extrapolate the height of the GSR from there.

Figure A:

Note the little dimension lines along the side. The north/south one, the one we care about, says 357 kio. Cool, we now know just how long the island is… in kio. Fortunately, BS01 has us covered, saying that 1 kio = 4500 feet. This makes the island 1.6 million feet long, or a little over 300 miles. This seems reasonable enough, so we can work with the assumption that the island, and in turn Mata Nui’s head, are about 300 miles long/tall.

Figure B:

The scale measurements at the side are not accurate to given dimensions of 40 million feet (assuming those are miles, this puts the GSR at less than half the canonical size). Anyway, holding a ruler up to my computer screen (I know it’s jank, but I don’t really care) puts him at about 11 inches tall, his head taking up just a bout 1 inch. Hey, that worked out pretty well. With a head roughly 300 miles tall, and a 1:11 head:body ratio, we get… 3300 miles, exactly what the dimension listed on Faber’s concept is. Cool, this means that the GSR is 3300 miles tall, or about 43.6% as tall as its stated, canonical size. While still absolutely fuckhuge, it’s a bit more reasonable this way.

TL;DR: Faber makes well-scaled, consistent concept art, which is ignored because planet-sized robots fighting each other is cooler than robots 40% of the size of a planet.