this is one of the most important things i've heard in a long time

How I ship Gency:

I like to think that Angela is a kind but very very tired soul that continues to push herself beyond her limits for the good of humanity. She’s constantly trying to improve medical science and works long hours to make it happen. She will sometimes go days without sleep on the job and forget to eat. Over the years, it has made her jaded - almost dead inside. But she does what she must.

One day, a body is rushed to her by Blackwatch all the way from Japan. She has never seen this man - or what’s left of him - before, but he’s obviously very important to Overwatch’s interests if he was rushed to her to be saved. So she begins the grueling process of breathing life back into his body. Thanks to the advances in medicine that she has pioneered, she is able to save the miraculous, weak heartbeat in him. Regardless, she still works for months slowly rebuilding him and salvaging any organic parts possible. All the while he is comatose.

The first time he awakens, he is disoriented, angry, and violent. Angela has to call for back up to restrain him so she can explain where he is, what has happened, and that he is safe. Gabriel Reyes enters during this time. Reyes doesn’t beat around the bush. He tells the man - Shimada Genji - that he was saved because they need his knowledge of the Shimada clan in order to dismantle it - that he will be instrumental in taking down his family business. Angela is horrified. She’d never been told to what end Overwatch needed this man - only that he held valuable information. She only guessed who or what he could be. Perhaps an important diplomat or undercover agent - but not an outsider. Not someone who would be in their debt for life. Her operations on him were costly. There was no way Overwatch would do that and expect nothing in return. Though they worked for the safety of the world - Angela knew they were not a charity.

She shoots a piercing glare in Reyes’ direction - saying silently, “This is NOT what I signed up for! We WILL talk about this later!” Reyes ignores her look. He waits for Shimada’s response. The man is silent. Thinking. After a pregnant pause, his gaze crawls up to their faces and a chill runs through Angela’s spine.

“I could be more than just information,” he says with seething rage boiling in his eyes. Reyes lifts an eyebrow. Angela can’t breathe. Shimada continues, “It would be my pleasure to assist in destroying my brother’s empire.” His lips curl at the word brother.

Reyes and Shimada exchange hard stares at one another. Reyes is the first to speak. “What are you asking, boy?”

“Let me personally assist on this project. On the field. I know more secrets than just the business of the empire - and how to exploit them. I am already a trained fighter with extensive experience in stealth and… Other fields of interest to your organization.” The menace in his gaze reveals that he speaks the truth.

Angela leaves abruptly. She doesn’t need to look at Reyes to know that he will accept Shimada’s offer. She is so very tired.

She assists in Shimada’s recovery. She fine-tunes his motor skills. She helps him learn to walk again. She helps familiarize him with his new functions… She refuses to comply with Blackwatch’s request to integrate weaponry into his cybernetic body. She hates weapons. She hates violence - it’s what stole her parents from her in the war. She has only ever killed in battle when absolutely necessary and in self-defense, and she has no intention of making instrument of death.

They confiscate her medical files on Shimada-san. She is told she will no longer be his overseeing doctor. She does not see him for a long time.

She cannot help but worry about him. She spent months caring for him in his most vulnerable state, yet here he is working for Blackwatch with cybernetic weapons and enhancements. His new armor covers his face. She has not seen it since the day he awoke.

Over the years, she occasionally hears of strides made in the Shimada Empire Project. Inside jobs. Sabotage. Assassinations. She always thinks of Shimada-san.

Then everything goes to hell.

With the Swiss headquarters razed to the ground and Overwatch outlawed by the PETRAS Act, Angela is alone and so very tired. Overwatch and Blackwatch agents have scattered across the Earth, she among them. Despite the weight of the world on her shoulders, she can’t help but wonder in the back of her mind what Shimada will do now. His rage and bitterness had driven his actions since the day he was revived. Where would he go with no organization or project? She worries.

A year passes. She receives a letter - a hand-written letter?? It’s covered with postage and forwarding stamps to multiple addresses. It is from Shimada. The contents are awkward with apologies and abundant with reluctance at even writing to her. He is apparently staying with the Shambali monks in Nepal under the teachings of Zenyatta Tekhartha. He writes that Zenyatta insisted that he begin writing letters to someone in his life as a part of his healing process. Healing process? He ends the letter with an apology for bothering her.

“Healing process”… Her heart warms at the thought. She writes him back, expressing that she is not bothered by his letters and informing him of her current mailing address for future ones.

For the next three years she looks forward to every letter. She is still overworked. Still trying to better the world. Still so very tired. But his letters remind her that working to help others heal is valid and worth the pain. His transformation is gradual, but evident. At first he is guarded - only sharing bare minimum details of his lessons. As they exchange letters, however, she begins to see his walls crumble as he shares more personal thoughts and feelings. He even starts to inject wry humor into his script. She doesn’t know for certain, and maybe it could never truly be this way, but Angela believes she is getting to meet the man from before the fight with his brother. He asks that she refer to him by his first name, Genji, so that he is not reminded of the name he shares with his brother, Hanzo.

Genji still refers to her as Miss Ziegler.

The Overwatch recall blindsides her, yet she travels to Gibraltar as soon as possible… She knows where she belongs. She writes Genji from Gibraltar informing him of her new address. She does not receive a reply. She worries.

One day, several weeks after the recall, a stranger covered from head to toe in intricately designed garments appears on their doorstep, an omnic companion in tow. Winston greets them hesitantly, Angela unconsciously stands slightly behind the gorilla. The stranger stares past Winston and into Angela’s face, saying nothing at first. Several moments pass. The omnic places a hand on the man’s shoulder, and he seems to relax a bit. He is hesitating. Why? Slowly, the man lifts his hands to undo the headdress covering his face, all the while keeping his gaze locked on Angela.

A moment more passes as he unties the cloth around his head. Then all at once the headdress is off, leaving his face naked.

Rich brown eyes meet hers, steadied with courage. Pale, old scars marble his face, crawling upward and across his cheeks, nose, and lips. His mechanical jaw clenches in apprehension. His black hair is plastered to his forehead from the headdress he’d been wearing not long ago.

Angela cannot breathe as she looks upon the face that she has not seen since the day she revived him.

Genji.

She is hugging him before she realizes what she’s doing. His arms hover over her back, shock evident in his face. Pulling back and wiping joyful tears from her eyes, she apologizes for surprising him.“But,” she adds with a wry smile “you surprised me first! So we are even.”

The shock in his eyes melts into something softer that she cannot name. He chuckles. “I suppose you are right, Miss Ziegler.”

She feels a prick of annoyance at his formality, but quickly squashes it. After all, she’s just heard him laugh for the first time. She smiles genuinely. “You seem well, Genji.”

What passes across his expression can be described as nothing other than the purest of inner tranquility. The corners of his lips upturn just slightly. His gaze is soft, unguarded as he looks into her eyes. The shadows of the violent rage that boiled in his soul so many years ago are nowhere to be found. “I am a different man now. I am whole.”

Her heart squeezes. Tears blur her vision and she cannot help grinning as the joy for him thrums throughout her body. “…That is wonderful!” she manages.

She is the furthest thing from tired.

Sometimes people need to heal before love can blossom. Falling in love is not the cure-all. But loving others, building those relationships through the thick of it all - that is one of the most important bonds you can ever have.

anonymous asked:

I haven't gotten around to voltron season 2 yet because I've had tons of school work. But I've heard it's nowhere near as good as the first season. What were some of the problems with it?

Off the top of my head, my biggest beef was with the writing lmao.

  • Hunk/Lance/Allura were kind of pushed to the side to focus more on Shiro/Keith (and sometimes pidge) which would be… fine… but Hunk/Lance/Allura’s characterization was often sabotaged to either make time for Shiro/Keith or to develop those two further
    • Basically: H/L/A were reduced to a more one-note/flattened version of their season 1 selves, especially in Hunk and Lance’s case (There was a BIG increase in fat jokes and ‘lance says d*mb shit’ moments)
    • Allura’s character arc was so… poorly handled lmao. Like yeah, she was wrong, but the way the narrative framed her as almost this villain, it was so bad ughhhhhhhhhhh.
  • I wasn’t a huge fan of the pacing?? I felt like some things were just… rushed, when I expected them to be more drawn out. Like the separation thing, I thought they would milk that more.
    • Also some Really Important scenes were totally skipped?? Where were my reunions… where were my reactions… (y’all know what I’m talking about)

Overall, the plot was good and the animation was as fantastic as always. I enjoyed the exploration of the Lions and the reveal of some new powers, etc. But the writing dropped the ball so hard, lmfao. It felt like most of the progress from Season 1 was just…….. reversed, or dropped entirely. 

You know there’s a problem with you show when a bunch of teenagers shitposting on the internet can write your characters better than you can lol :/

anonymous asked:

Genji, Mccree, Mei with an s/o struggling with their anxiety or self doubt about themselves like they feel like a burden? I'm very sorry I've just had a rough month

Sweetheart, please don’t apologize. I understand having a rough time, whether it be with friends, family, work, school, or just yourself. I’d be happy to write for you, and if you ever want to just message and chat, I’m willing to lend an ear. I just hope maybe this cheers you up a bit

Mei


  • Like any woman, she is observant
  • So even when you think your hiding your stress and anxiety and those thoughts in your head…she can tell
  • Mei notices when your eyes burn with self loathing when you make a mistake
  • Has seen how your fingers dig into your skin till you bleed, heard you berate yourself under your breath, seen the bitter prick of tears in your eyes when you face obstacles
  • It breaks her heart every time
  • Being Mei, she isn’t sure how to help you but she takes it upon herself to try and find a solution
  • Finally, Mei decides that although she cannot take away your fears, your anxiety or those doubts that fill you, but she can try to bring a smile to your face and show you that even if you don’t believe in yourself, she does
  • One day after a rather long and grueling mission, you were feeling at one of your lowest points when you walked into your room. It took you a moment but you noticed something on the bed.
  • There was a single white lily flower, a box of your favorite chocolates, and a jar. Lifting the jar, you saw a note on the top. ‘Please take out on piece of paper every evening. Take out two on the worse days.’
  • Opening the jar, you saw it was jam packed with papers. Taking one out, you unfolded the small pink paper and you gasped softly. ‘Your smile takes my breath away!’. For a moment you stared, and then hold the paper close.
  • Reaching in, you pulled out one more. The yellow slip opened to reveal a picture of you and Mei making snow angels in the winter beneath a big pine. It read ‘You’ll always be my snow angel’.
  • Holding the two papers and staring down at them, you felt slowly all the negative emotions melt away. Tears filled your eyes, and you didn’t make a noise as a pair of arms pulled you close from behind. Turning, you buried your face into her neck and knew that in her own way, she was trying to make you feel better.
  • “Thank you.”

Genji

  • More then most, Genji can understand doubting in yourself and feeling anxious about things. When he became a cyborg, between the hate he harbored for his brother and the confusion and doubt of being a cyborg, Genji had been a mess
  • Of course, he also knew it was different for everyone. So it tore him apart seeing how you struggled with yourself
  • Especially when you seemed to devalue yourself and your hard work
  • A lot of the time he tried to give you as much praise or encouragement as he could, to show you that your effort was noticed but unfortunately, it never seemed to really hit home with you
  • One day Genji went to check on you after being called by Ana. Apparently you had a melt down during the Bombs Activation and Deactivation class. Automatically the two wanted to make sure you were okay
  • As he came up to the door, Genji stopped when he heard your voice. Peeking in, he could see you on the bed with your head in your hands, crying
  • He heard as you told yourself that you were worthless, that you would never be able to contribute to the team. That you’d only let them down.
  • Unable to bear hearing this, Genji shoved open the door. Startled, you sat up but before you could do anything, you were pulled tight against his chest. His hand brushed through your hair and you heard him take a shuddering breath
  • “Don’t say that. I beg you. y/n, i know…that you cannot see what i do. But i see a strong, selfless hero who will do anything to protect the people around them,” he said in your ear, needing you to know how he saw you, even if you didn’t see it yourself.
  • Taking off his mask, he lifted your chin and gave you a soft kiss. You couldn’t understand why, why he was so sweet to you when you felt like you weren’t good enough for him or Overwatch.
  • But before you could speak, the tears still sliding down your face, Genji caressed your cheek. “Do you know what i admire most about you? Its the fact that you try your very best at everything, no matter how impossible the task, because whats most important to you is the people you protect and defend. Mistakes might be made…but what makes a hero is that you will continue to fight and stand up for those who can’t,” Genji told you quietly.
  • Slowly, as those words rolled over and over in your head, the frustration and anger towards yourself ebbed away. Genji was always so kind to you…it was impossible not to feel the love radiating from him
  • “I just don’t want to let you down,” you whispered.
  • Genji smiled tenderly and shook his head.
  • “You could never let me down, y/n.”
  • And with that, you knew that he would always support you.

Mcree

  • Jesse could always tell there was something wrong but a lot of the time, he couldn’t exactly put his thumb on what the problem was
  • A little less observant, most of the time he thought you were happy with how well you were doing
  • It was like he was your own personal cheer leader, except instead of pom-poms he had pistols
  • But a few months into your relationship he started to really notice that something was up with you, the way your face fell at moments or the way you’d stare off into the distance looking troubled, and all Jesse wanted was to make it better
  • Feeling restless one night, something kept niggling at the back of his mind. A thought, or perhaps more of a feeling
  • To stop his paranoia, Jesse got out of bed wearing nothing but his pajama bottoms and his belt, before heading to your room to check up on you. Honestly, he expected everything to be okay. But in the dark room, as he opened the door slightly, he heard quiet sobs
  • Slowly, Jesse pushed open the door and slipped in, shutting it without your notice. Seeing you curled up in the fetal position on the bed made him want to cry too, but right now his job was to soothe you
  • You jumped as the bed shifted and a warm, muscled body pressed against you. Strong arms pulled you close, and the feeling of a beard tickled your neck. That and the scent of cigars told you who it was even before he spoke.
  • “Don’t cry, darlin’,” Jesse whispered, his voice soft with worry. His Texas accent was soothing, as was the deep lilt of his voice.
  • The fact that he’d caught you in the middle of a break down embarrassed you. Without a word you tried to hide in the pillow but he was having none of it, pulling the pillow away.
  • Turning you, Jesse moved to sit against the headboard with you in his lap. “Don’t hide from me, sweetheart. Please tell me whats wrong. I might be a dumb cowboy but…but i still want to be here for you,” he murmured. It only made you cry harder but Jesse just rocked you and rocked you into his arms.
  • Silently he just rubbed your back as you let out all the tears that had been building up for such a long time. Finally, when the dams were empty, you admitted to Jesse the truth behind your feelings and how you were always worried of failure or screwing up, and how you doubted in your capabilities. Jesse didn’t speak a word, humming an old western tune softly in the darkness as he pet your hair and held you. Finally, you finished and waited for him to make fun of you.
  • It took a moment but Jesse pressed a kiss to your forehead. “Its not stupid to be afraid to screw up,” he said softly. “Its not stupid to doubt yourself. What your feeling is okay. That’s why you have me. I’ll always be there for you, baby. So please, no matter how dumb you think it might be….tell me what you feel, okay?.”
  • It felt strange, hearing Jesse say it was okay. This was the first time you’d told anyone how you felt. But as you laid there on his chest, exhaustion from the crying starting to fill you, you couldn’t help think that maybe it would be okay.
  • As long as you had Jesse there, maybe his love was all you would need to be able to push yourself in life.
Nemesis Mine

Chapter 1

Chapter 2. Baz.

Simon is starting to heal. It’s been a few days and I’ve been watching him almost constantly, usually when he’s not paying attention (I’m always looking at him when he’s not paying attention). I notice the way he carries himself and how he never flinches when his shoulder or his arm brushes against a wall or bumps into another student, so I finally decide that he’s really fine. He hasn’t been seriously hurt.

He looks up and smiles when I walk into our room, collapsing in my desk chair.

‘Hey, Baz,’ he says. ‘Long day?’

Simon communicates in shrugs and fragmented sentences. We’ve been roommates since we both started at Watford at the beginning of the year and after a few weeks I realised it’s just the way he is.

‘You have no idea,’ I say with a groan. ‘My tutor is a complete git.’

He’s flicking a pen back and forth between his fingers, and it flies across the room. He blushes and laughs.

Simon also blushes easily. I try not to have too much fun with it.

‘Look, do you want to go out for dinner?’ he says casually once he’s retrieved the pen. He sets it down on the desk and folds his arms.

I raise an eyebrow. Simon loves the food we get in the dining hall, especially the fact that our meals are included in our accommodation and are already paid for, meaning he can eat as much as he wants.

‘I would love to,’ I say, and his entire being seems to light up. (Fuck.) ‘But I can’t. I’m behind on my assignment, and I’m busy tonight.’

He pouts. ‘Behind as in due in a week, right?’

I roll my eyes. ‘Yeah, so?’

‘So that’s not behind by most people’s standards, smart-ass.’

I smirk. ‘Fine. I’m barely on time with my assignment.’

‘Great, then you can go out with me,’ he says with a winning smile.

Words, Simon, I want to chide him. He’ll either not use them at all, or he uses them to imply things that he probably doesn’t mean.

‘Nope. Sorry, Simon, but I really am busy.’

Sometimes I just want to say fuck the superhero life and walk away from my family. I’d much rather go out for dinner with Simon than go chasing bad guys. (The chasing itself isn’t even so bad. It’s what comes after.)

‘Doing what?’ He sticks out his chin and stares me down, defying me not to give him a straight answer.

Oh, Simon. I wouldn’t lie to you if I didn’t have to.

‘Meeting friends,’ I say, avoiding his eyes.

Meeting friends in dark alleys in the middle of the night. That’s what I always imply, and it sounds dodgy enough that he knows not to ask any more questions. I suppose Simon thinks I’m in some sort of gang or something. It seemed like the most plausible excuse as to why I keep coming back hurt late at night. Soccer practice stopped sounding believable after the first two weeks.

‘Right, meeting friends,’ he echoes. ‘Guess I’ll see you later then.’

‘Yeah, later, Simon.’

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Autistic people are often framed as having only a singular, heavily involved "special interest", or perhaps 2 or 3, to the absolute exclusion of anything else. While I know this is likely true for some, I can't imagine that every autistic person ever doesn't have multiple hobbies or interests pursued with varying degrees of engagement. The sense I get from the NT-written things I've encountered make autistic folk seem very one-dimensional. I'd like some help clearing this up, please!

This is one of those topics that hasn’t really been researched, as far as I can tell, so I’ll be sticking to my usual method of speaking for myself and inviting autistic followers to add their thoughts. I can in no way claim to speak for everyone, but am happy to share my perspective.

First off, let me explain how a special interest works for me with a simple metaphor: falling in love. When I first come across a new special interest, its eyes sparkle at me from across the room. I get a tiny taste of it, a fragment of information or a glimpse of a picture, and a spark flies, and a fuse lights, and a bomb of euphoria goes off in my head. This thing, this thing right here, is quite clearly the most amazing, important thing I’ve ever come across. This thing is frigging incredible, the best thing that’s ever happened, and the world needs to know.

I become obsessed. I gobble up information wherever I can find it. I learn everything there is to know as quickly as I possibly can. I become an expert on this thing in a remarkably short amount of time. This is LOVE, man. Well, more accurately, this is infatuation. Puppy love. That drug-like rush of chemicals in your brain when you feel you’ve found THE ONE. I talk about it constantly, much to the annoyance of those around me who just don’t quite understand why this thing, this one thing, is so amazingly great that I need to rant about it to the exclusion of everything else in the world. (Especially since they’ve heard it all before.) Just talking about it gives me a rush of euphoria. Sometimes I can see that those around me aren’t interested, but I just can’t stop. The words pour out of me, the excitement radiates off of me, I can’t be ignored, can’t be interrupted. This is like nothing that has ever happened before! Surely, if I can explain it well enough, everyone else will see, too, right? Right?

If you’ve never been in this kind of love, you might not have learned this lesson yet, but here it comes, folks: that kind of love doesn’t last. That euphoric high that results when your brain decides to take a bath in happy chemicals - it’s just physically impossible to sustain it. Eventually, the high, the firey passion, wears off. For me, this usually takes about a year. I’ve read and watched and learned everything I can about this thing. It’s been the center point of my life for a long time, the thing that gets me out of bed in the morning. And one day, suddenly, it just… doesn’t hold the same appeal. It’s not that I don’t love it anymore! I will always love it. But the love changes. It becomes the old, familiar love that comes with time. You don’t get that high from being together anymore, but that doesn’t mean you don’t enjoy each other’s company. You no longer try to persuade the world that this one is the one, is the best thing ever. You no longer need to. This love just settles into the back of your mind, always there, always a comfort, always ready to give you a hug when you need it.

The expertise I’ve gained from all my intensive research, that stays. I will always know just about all there is to know about that thing (at least, all there was to know when I was researching it). I’ll always be able to call that knowledge to mind later on, when it’s useful. And I’ve developed quite the reputation for being a “know-it-all”. I always seem to have some random, obscure fact right on the tip of my tongue, and it’s usually debunking some common misconception that my friends would just as soon keep on having rather than feeling like they’re constantly under attack by that one girl who just HAS to know EVERYTHING.

But it doesn’t feel that way for me. A key difference I’ve noted in communication between autistic and allistic people, and the source of a large percentage of our miscommunications in life, is this: allistic people communicate to bond emotionally and to establish and display power and dominance or submission. Autistic people communicate to share information. When I correct someone, it’s because I know that if I was wrong, I would want to be given the correct information, so I could stop being wrong. But when an allistic person is corrected like that, they take it as an attack on their status, a display of power, and a denial of their feelings. The “golden rule” doesn’t always work. It’s a constant problem.

In any case, I have always been described as someone obsessive. Someone who finds one thing (although it’s often two, three, even four things at a time) and just obsessively learns everything about it and won’t shut up about it for months and months on end. And that really does seem to be true, in a sense. I have very extreme levels of interest. Either something is amazing and I need to know everything about it, or it just doesn’t catch my interest at all. There isn’t much in between.

On the other hand, due to all the many special interests I’ve had over my more than three decades of life, I have built up quite a broad range of interests. I never lost any of them. All of those things still interest me now, and when someone brings one of them up in conversation, I still get a spark of the old obsessiveness deep inside. As a result, I now seem to have a wide range of interests, some of which I’m overtly obsessive about, and others which I keep on file, ready to pull out whenever they’re needed. When I was young, that probably wasn’t the case. It’s likely that I may have been viewed as somewhat one-dimensional as a child, obsessed with just a few things and completely uncaring about everything else. (And when my parents, trying to make me act “normal”, tried separating me from my special interests, the pain was as crushing as being forced to leave your True Love because the rest of the world doesn’t want you to be together - and only made my obsession stronger.)

What I want you to understand is that I don’t see that as a negative thing in any way. An allistic person might see that narrow range of interests and think “oh the poor thing, it’s like she lives in a tiny world and is missing so much of life!” But from my perspective, it’s allistic people who are missing out. Allistic people never seem particularly interested in anything, not by my standards. From where I’m standing, it looks like allistics just drift through life, dabbling in a little of everything but never mastering anything, never finding any real interest, never getting any real, intense joy out of any of their hobbies. An allistic person might say to me, “Yeah, I do a little crocheting, but I’m not really that into it.” And in my mind, I’ll think… then why do it at all? How horribly unsatisfying must it be to go through your entire life, never falling in love with anything you do? Never feeling that euphoria that I get to experience over and over again every time I find a new interest?

Autistic and allistic brains are specialized differently. Allistic brains are best at navigating social rules and structures and internalizing broad strokes and large categories. They look at a table for the first time and think: “That’s a table.” And that’s pretty much as far as they go. They might spend a few seconds to note the material or color or overall condition of the table, but that’s it. 

Autistic brains are specialized in details. It means we have more information to process, all those details without any mechanism for discarding the ones that aren’t important, but it also means we get to see everything about something. I see that new table and I can get lost in tracing the patterns of the grain for hours on end. Sure, it takes me longer, but I get a lot more out of it, and I get a joy from that which allistic people just don’t seem to get.

It’s similar with our interests. Allistics have broad interests, dipping their toe into the shallow ends of a thousand different pools but never really diving in. Autistics have narrow but intense interests. We absorb every detail, and in doing so experience an intense and wonderful euphoria. Honestly, sometimes I feel sorry for all the allistic people in the world who never get to experience that. The poor things… ;)

-Mod Aira

For me, I can have both special interests and normal-level interests. Just because I have stuff that I really really love and am passionate about doesn’t mean I can’t also have other interests, that I’m not quite as passionate about but that I like to dabble in from times to times or as a part of my routine. I do not feel however the urge or will to research them in more depth. There is joy that I can derive from it, but there is not the same “drive” to pursue it. I’d say that’s the main difference between a regular interest and what we call a special interest: a drive to learn about it, talk about it, read about it, build projects about it, engage with it, that is much stronger. So one person can have one or a few special interests, but I’d say it’s not always to the exclusion of everything else.

I think the intensity of special interests, their “obsessiveness” and whether or not the person likes to engage with other subjects that their special interests depends a lot from one person to the next. My special interests sound less intense than what Aira is describing, and I may have more varied non-special interests. So really I’d say this is something that depends a lot from one person to the next.

I also want to add that just because someone has a narrow range of interests doesn’t mean they’re one-dimensional: I’ve seen a special interest described as a lense through which you understand the world. The world is large, and even if you have only one such “lense”, that’s a lot of things to discover with that unique point of view.

-Mod Cat

anonymous asked:

I feel proud but sad. I've finally got myself to see how invalid most if not all of the aphobics arguments. But the sad part is because of really wtf arguments I've heard recently by multiple headstrong ones: Closeted folks do not face systematic oppression and are not LGBT. And I've seen: Trans people who say down with cis or hate on cis folks aren't actually trans and are faking to just be special snowflakes. I am pretty past their bull now, but wow some have done a turn.

You know, I think the most profound thing I’ve learned from watching the various intracommunity discourses over the last decadeish has been just how incredibly damaging a single piece of bad logic can be, and how many more terrible terrible beliefs can snowball out of a commitment to just one idea. That’s really, I think, where so much of this comes from and why people on the exclusionist side all tend to eventually adopt such a startlingly similar set of biases and hatreds, even if they didn’t start out that way. Just one bad belief will lead to another and another and another, as long as you’re holding true to the bad foundational logic that got you to the first one.

And that’s been an important learning experience for me personally, because I had the misfortune of coming up to some extent through radfem circles, because some of their beliefs spoke to the scared, hurt teenager I was at the time, and I spent a long while trying to convince myself that I could have some of their beliefs and ignore the ones I found distasteful.

But that’s not how it works, because every single one of those beliefs was ultimately based on the same Bad Logic, so even the ones that I agreed with on the surface were poisonous at the core, and ultimately unsustainable. It took me a long time to deprogram myself and start seeing the toxin that pervaded everything in that community.

And that’s the same toxin that’s now spreading through every single part of REG communities and leading them all to continue to adopt increasingly more hateful [and, let’s be real, TERFier] beliefs. The roots are poisoned, and that means every branch is going to be too. I don’t know how to convince people to open their eyes and start seeing that, but I do know that pretty much every person I’ve ever seen who switched sides after being an exclusionist went through a similar process of realisation.

-Dew

Lego Trash Rambles

listen, I really like the idea that lego joker and harley are platonic gay bffs. but I also headcanon that when they first met in this universe, joker had a mega huge super crush on her. he was all smitten and blown away by this cute smart af arkham psychiatrist, staying put longer than ever just so he could figure out how to get himself a session with her.

finally, he does.

they actually have a great meeting, full of their usual chemistry, and literally he just opens up to her without another thought. no tricks, no malice, no head games, just honesty. and she’s all like ‘whoa everyone always told me joker was like the bad guy, and maybe this is all a clever ruse, but…. something tells me…. it’s not??’ so they develop this deep patient-doctor relationship and keep bonding, but eventually he does break out again. 
of course, he gets into deep trouble, not even batman-related, and she hears word of it. not that she’s been keeping special tabs on him or anything, how unprofessional would that be? ahahaa ironically, she has been getting more and more interested in this idea of moonlighting as a super criminal to better understand her patients, so why not tonight? hasty decision made, she rushes to the joker’s aid as harley quinn for the first time, kicks some butt, and then helps an injured mr j back to his hideout where he’s just shook like ‘fuckin calm down heart, you can’t afford an attack right now’. once he’s healing, they hang out all night and talk some more, maybe play some video games, and suspend all their usual titles for the first time in a long time, really just connecting. j asks finally why she even came out tonight, all dolled up in crime, and she tells him her reasons, sort of embarrassed with how it all sounds out loud.

“it’s pretty stupid of me, huh? I mean, I could’ve easily died…”

“no no harl! not stupid…. risky, sure… but you said you did it…. //// for me?”

“uh well not… I mean… yes, I heard you were in trouble… and so that was to save you… or help you… or… uh….”

“no one’s…. ever come to my rescue before…”

she meets his honest confession with a pure sunshine smile and that’s when he knows, hoo boy, mr j you did actually die tonight. alert gotham, alert batman, the clown is finally slain.

he doesn’t return to arkham that time, but she continues to moonlight as harley quinn, usually with him, or to assist him, because he does know what he’s doing and can offer her the most guidance and protection as a novice. plus, friendship. after a while, it’s clear to her that her talents lie more in this world than a clinical one, and she finally converts full time to joker’s no. 2.  
not too long after making the switch, mr j, ecstatic and overwhelmed with her moving in, ramps up his flirtations full force. harley is at first amused, not sure whether he’s serious or it’s just him being him. eventually though, he legit makes a move, and she finds herself reciprocating. they become friends with benefits for a long time, and don’t necessarily deny the boyfriend/girlfriend title, but aren’t really set in it either.  
however, once harley’s interactions with ivy become much more intimate than just the occasional run in or gal pal hangout, it’s clear to her that she’s really better as bffs with joker than as lovers, and it tears her up for a long while trying to figure out how to tell him. she also knew he’s had it really bad for bats this whole time, and has never blamed him, but feels maybe that is worth pursuing more? eventually she sits him down and has a talk, the most terrified she’s ever been in her life. joker can see how freaked out she is about hurting him and that actually makes everything a lot easier to take, because they’re still so important to each other regardless of romance. he’s like “harl, no, don’t cry it’s ok monkey-face, we can just be platonic if you want? like I won’t lie, I’ll miss kissing that mug, but I don’t want you to feel bad about things for me. im still your boo-boo.”
and she just crumbles in his hug.
literally me too, we don’t deserve gay lego joker you guys

happily, the switch back was really easy for them to make, and sure, they lapse and will still share the occasional kiss or ass slap, because, come on. look at them. but really, it was such a good decision for them both that nothing was really ever awkward. to this day, they’re still the gayest of friends, and the best dynamic duo in crime.


and that’s the story of how my weak heart just wants joker to be really good and respectful to harley, his one and only psycho circus princess.

lottaillustrates  asked:

Hi, you had some great tips on your Etsy post! I've literally just opened up my shop and was wondering if you have any tips for beginners – what to keep in mind when starting up in Etsy and how to make your shop noticed? I love the idea of selling on Etsy and have been buyer for a long time, but I'm finding it hard to start out if you don't have a huge inventory of products yet, so maybe you have some thoughts on how to build up your shop and get customers? Thank you, your blog is awesome! :)

Hi there! I remember checking out your shop the other day actually! You have super cute drawings already and your product shots are great! For anyone interested, here is their shop.

Here are a couple of the most important basics:

1) Etsy’s search engine is weird af. Those weirdly long and repetitive titles everyone uses? That’s to bump up their search results. Use really long titles that are super repetitive and really get the point across of what you’re saying. If you need ideas, search what you think could bring up your products and check out what everyone else is saying! Also say what you said in your title in your first sentence of your description - this is a really big one. And use all the tags you’re given! Even if you’re being a repetitive, Etsy loves repetitive.

2) Try to have at least 10 items in your shop all the time. I’ve heard this one repeated all over the internet. Having 10 items will bump up your shop in search results. If you don’t have 10 items? That’s cool, just work on getting more items in your shop! Set a goal. If you want to make money, you do have to treat it like a job. I personally try to list 1 thing each weekend, since that’s when I have time. I make them on Saturday and photograph/post on Sunday. So work on building up to that 10!

3) Social media! :D So this one is honestly the biggest/hardest for me personally. It’s really important to advertise your stuff. Instagram seems to be a big one for where I get my traffic to Etsy. And post behind the scenes type pictures or alternate product shots you ended up not using, not just the product shots you use on Etsy. To build an audience, make sure you post stuff, but more importantly - go through tags you are posting in and interact with other people’s stuff. You’ll see a big difference in your growth.

4) Get reviews! It’s really important to build up reviews in your shop. If you have someone you know IRL that wants to commission something, or someone contacts you outside of Etsy. Set up a custom listing for them to purchase and ask them to post a review when 

Hope that helps! Let me know if you have any more questions.

If you’re interested in some Etsy tips about your shop let me know and I’ll check it out :)

anonymous asked:

Hello Sasha. Your blog really stands out from the pack! Congratulations on being so aware at such a young age. I've lurked for a bit on your blog and a few others, but I've decided to share this with you. I think you'd be most receptive. I'm a Psychologist who works in Marketing and Advertising. It seems a strange match but in those fields it's important to 'get inside people's heads' in order to create successful campaigns. As a result of my work, I've had the opportunity to consult the con't

teams of actual celebrities on managing their social media footprint. Never in a million years has anything I ever worked on turned so dark so quickly. We went from talking about very standard things like what types of ‘fan service’ social media users best respond to, to talking about staging things for press. That’s not odd, but it was the things they wanted to stage. They went negative. They talked about staging cyber bullying attacks and leaking private pictures. Thankfully I worked con’t  for an ethical company, so our suggestions and plans were quite normal. But during those consults we were told of a staged event. This is what I wanted to share with you. It involved a girl group. Their team was actually intimately involved in stirring up drama. They weren’t embarrassed. They laughed about it. This is the story they shared. A plan was hatched to get two of the girls upset with each other just before a public appearance. This is the craziest part. The goal was to con’t get them to have a real fight in public, then act as ‘sources’ for the press so that they could methodically milk the press for ongoing headlines. When we asked why, they said 'going negative’ doesn’t hurt the brand these days like it used to and that we should know that. As long as they could control the type of negative, they felt it would actually make them more popular as a group. It’s true that scandal doesn’t always sink a brand especially in the show business arena. There was no con’t argument from us. It was just shocking to hear, at least for me. But the plan went like this, Team Member 1 went to Singer 1 and told her of some unpleasant things Singer 2 did and said. At the same time, Team Member 2 told Singer 2 the same about Singer 1. Mind you, this was happening as the girls were in hair and make-up preparing for an event. They wanted them to confront each other but not behind the scenes. They wanted it public. Well, they took them to the venue in separate cars hoping con’t they’d be ready for a catfight by go time. It didn’t work. One seethed quietly and texted on her phone and the other was in tears being consoled by the rest of the girls. They didn’t fight. They didn’t even speak to each other. It was a cruel trick played on them and meant to be played on the fans too, all at the hands of the people they trusted with their careers. I can’t say what girl group outright only because my job didn’t and doesn’t allow it. But I’m sure you have a couple of guesses or five. con’t I work for a different firm now doing similar work. That’s still the craziest real story I’ve ever heard. Now I spend alot of time lurking on social media because I do research that helps businesses and celebrities 'take the general public’s temperature’. Most fan blogs are pretty innocuous and some are obnoxious. But I think yours is basically on the right track. I can’t say anything definitive about One Direction from direct knowledge. I can say Simon Cowell doesn’t have a good rep. con’t And not just him, but pretty much all of the Managers of the younger celebrities are thought to be pretty sleazy. I have a branding meeting to get to in a few minutes so I’ll end it here. I’ll still be around here and there, lurking. Take care! 

Girl group Anon again. I forgot to say I personally asked why they didn’t have the girls pretend to fight and one person matter of factly responded with, “They can’t act.” That was an important bit to the story! Bye again. 

Wow, hmmm, ok, wow.  I guess we’re talking 5th Harmony here. 

I really am trying to not get too deep into any of Simon Cowell’s other artist drama. Because it seems pretty much all his artists have consistent drama and it’s ridic. And 1D is more than bad enough. But this is an interesting story. 

Ngl nonnie, I went looking at my blog stats to match up the time stamp to who was in my ask box and find where this came from. I can’t find you. I’ve had suspected astroturfers go ghost on me before. I would like to know how you did that, just as an fyi for future reference. And also if you come off anon, we can talk privately. I just have general questions.

But anyway, if true, this is an incredibly shitty thing to do. I don’t follow 5th Harmony closely at all. So I can’t gauge whether or not there was any tension between them at any point. 

Did those people say what they would’ve done if it worked and these girls argued or had a hair pulling fight in public that later was traced back to them? I guess they didn’t fear being fired, right? And what happened since they didn’t fight? Did the team members get confronted for being so messy? Also, were the stories they trotted with true or not? More questions.     

I’ve suspected for a long time that younger artists are the most susceptible to being exploited in really ugly ways. And I knew fans were gaslighted, but the artists too? Shit. That’s an angle I never considered before. That’s next level nasty and manipulative.

As always, grain of salt to everyone reading this. But thanks for sharing nonnie.  

ETA: Thanks for the blog love! 😊

anonymous asked:

hey i really appreciate your blog and all the things you have to say about v3! so i was just wondering if i could ask you about the ship tenmiko because i've only read the first chapter but i've heard everything that happens in the game and they are my absolute otp!! but now i'm hearing some people saying that tenko is a creepy stalker to himiko and that himiko is really annoyed with her and doesn't like her and i'm just wondering if thats true or not cause it makes me worried

Himitenko is one of my favorite ndrv3 ships, anon! It’s got a lot of depth and good potential, it’s healthy, and it’s absolutely adorable. One thing I found myself really liking was the fact that there were certainly problems that needed to be worked on, on both sides. It feels a lot more realistic to me when a ship addresses the fact that even good ships involving two really good people still can have issues to work through. Nobody’s perfect, after all.

There’s no need to worry: anyone who says that Tenko is a “creepy stalker” or that Himiko doesn’t like her at all didn’t quite get the point of the game and the developments that happen as a result of Chapter 3, in my opinion. Regardless of whether people ship Himiko and Tenko romantically, their dynamic is extremely plot-relevant and essential to Himiko’s character development. All three of the ndrv3 survivors become close to a particular individual, and all three survivors are forced to grow and develop when the person close to them dies. For Saihara, that person was Kaede. For Maki, it was Momota. And for Himiko, it was Tenko.

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superpuppywoman  asked:

Hey! A question, if you don't mind.. What exactly does the whole alpha/omega/beta thing entail? I'm very confused lol, I've read a couple of fics with it but I just don't have an understanding of the concept :/

AIGHT *cracks knuckles* friend, you came to the right place. i love explaining ABO to people! i’m going to try to keep this on a need-to-know basis, but the biggest thing is that people do sooo many variations on this trope that this is a rough approximation at best.

at its basis, ABO (alpha/beta/omega) is a trope that came out of the supernatural fandom in the early 2000s (or so?) that essentially gives people certain types animalistic qualities, and this creates the context for a biologically-obligated D/s type situation. WAIT before you go about getting turned off by the animalistic qualities thing, let me explain. First: there are three genders in ABO society, and typically these can all be both male and female; you can think of these as sort of secondary genders (with vocab words bolded cause literally what am i doing with my life @ this point):

Alphas

  • the DOMS BOIII
  • are physically bigger, stronger, and more aggressive than the other genders
  • have a rut, or a period during which they’re rlly rlly horny 
    • usually just a few days, sometimes up to a week
    • sometimes fuck or die, or otherwise just v uncomfy to endure without an omega
    • the frequency of ruts depends fic to fic, usually once every few months
  • have a highly developed sense of smell (in some fics, enough to tell if an omega is pregnant, or in distress) and also produce their own alpha scent 
  • you’ve probably already heard about the thing that makes them really fucking weird, but here it is: alphas have knots
  • knotting is when (and there’s no elegant way to say this, christ) the base of an alpha’s dick swells up as they come inside an omega, thereby locking them together
    • typically the knot goes down (and they stop… coming) after some time– can be an hour or more, depending on the fic
    • size of knot varies individual to individual, fic to fic. plum to grapefruit. god help you if you got the grapefruit
  • temperamentally tend to be v aggressive and confident– they make good execs/CEOs/presidents and typically hold power in a lot of ABO societies
    • like omegas, they have a hindbrain and a forebrain, forebrain being essentially human rationale, and hindbrain dictating animalistic sexual drive. hindbrain becomes most active during rut
  • also like omegas, alphas usually present, or start displaying alpha characteristics (slang: “pop a knot”) when they go through puberty 
  • female alphas are sort of the grab-bag of the ABO universe; i’ve read them written with anything from a full on dick to a retractable dick to no dick at all and just alphalike behavior at large. some fics pull them off better than others. i still think they’re rad

Betas

  • pretty much us
  • the boring ones, usually VASTLY outnumbering the coexisting alpha and omega populations
  • one thing that does vary is their perception/treatment of the alphas and omegas– sometimes they’re completely oblivious, and sometimes they can smell omegas when they’re in heat, though it doesn’t affect them the way it does alphas
  • also often dictate the political/social standing of alphas and omegas; betas can treat these genders as anything from freaks to gods
    • a huuge subtrope in ABO is the repressed omega plotline, where either society is struggling to emerge from a traditionalist society in which omegas are seen as nothing more than property, or is still in the midst of this 

Omegas

  • sub sub sub sub
  • strangest of the bunch by far holy shit
  • have the ability to carry children, regardless of gender (that’s right: MPREG)
    • idk. mpreg is its own animal fam im not gonna get into that shit here
  • major key: self lubricating (yes, even the men, you know what this means)
    • their natural slick is involuntarily produced, and often has a highly potent scent that drives alphas nutzo
  • have a heat, the partner to an alpha’s rut; similar rules apply, but they need to be fucked, instead 
    • have an extremely strong in-heat scent during that drives alphas to want to mate with them ‘
    • heats leave omegas incapacitated, very feverish, and weak, requiring an alpha to “help” them through it
    • accordingly they aren’t always in their right mind during heat, and that’s when noncon type shit goes down 
    • heats usually end after frequent knotting, or pregnancy 
  • the nape of an omega’s neck is a v special and important place !!
    • if bitten here by an alpha, according to most fics, the alpha will create a claiming bite and form a bond with the omega. usually these bites are depicted as a wound or scar that never fully heals, showing their ownership of the omega in a permanent way
    • in some cases, i’ve seen a mental/metaphysical bond form via bite as well
    • if pinched, held, or bitten here, an omega will also completely boneless. think kittens, or puppies ((this s l a y s me when authors include this))
  • tend to usually be cast as superemotional, mentally vulnerable, and predisposed towards dependent behavior 
  • can take suppressants to prevent heats and pregnancy; often, prolonged use is dangerous and results in negative health affects 
    • another classic subtrope: the rebellious omega. usually a professional who wants to keep their job/achieve a position not afforded by their omega status so they hide their gender, and it comes back to bite them in the ass

wow ok so that way waay more than anyone wanted to know. yikes. can you tell i like this trope???? but yeah! if you have any more questions, let me know!

some fic recs for reference: star wars, star wars, spn, gradence 

anonymous asked:

hey! i don't mean to be annoying or anything but i was just wondering what you thought of 13 reasons why? I've heard some people say it's horrible rep for those with mental illness and others praise it and since you're mentally ill and studying psych (and one of the calmest people when it comes to discourse lol(, i wanted to know if it is problematic or not?

Hi! You’re not bothering me at all. My very long and probably very disorganized answer (sorry, I tried but there’s so much to talk about) is under the cut, but overall, 13 reasons why isn’t problematic per say, but it has it’s faults. 

Trigger Warning: Discussion of suicide and depression below. 

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coffeebeansandwitchythings  asked:

Chinese is on my list of languages to learn, and while I'm excited to start it eventually, I've heard it's incredibly difficult. How are you experiencing learning the language so far? Is it worth it to you? Do you have any advice? (:

thank you for your message! honestly, we see everywhere that chinese is the hardest language to learn and all, but it doesn’t have to be true. first i think it depends on your native language and also the other language you’ve learn before - for me chinese, and especially writing, isn’t that hard because i’ve learn japanese before so that was a big help! it might depend on what your weak/strong points are when learning a new language (if you’re bad at grammar like me, you’ll love chinese haha)

my advice is to first focus on tones (as it’s one of the thing most chinese learners struggle with) listen a lot of chinese! being music/drama/tv reality… i was struggling a bit in oral comprehension and i found that watching a lot of chinese tv shows was a big help! chinese characters are also one of the reasons why people think of chinese as a difficult language - remebering them might seem like a lot of work (and it is) i personally find the writing so beautiful i don’t care haha - the joy you’ll feel once you’ll be able to read (really anything) definitly makes all that hard work worth it haha - finding fun ways to remember a character (instead of just writing it a hundred times) definitly works better. learning the radicals is also really important!

mandarin chinese is a beautiful language and while it may be difficult sometimes, it’s a lot of fun~

yes but there’s also 

  • ‘I’m hella sick but not old enough to purchase cough medicine and that sounds really pitiful coming from a college student but would you please go buy me some NyQuil???’ au
  • 'We made a bet at the beginning of the laser tag game to see who was better and guess who won. It’s time to pay up.’ au
  • 'Who keeps using my wifi?’ 'Literally everyone, your password is hella easy to guess.’ au
  • Tried to unlock the wrong car in the parking garage au
  • 'I’m on the FBI’s most-wanted list for killing a fuck ton of people, but calm down I just wanna date you bc your face is v smoochable and you give me butterflies.’ au
  • See also; 'Dating a most-wanted serial killer and never getting a heads-up before they come home covered in blood so you’ve gotta be ready to draw the curtains and hide a body every time you hear a car pull into the driveway’ au
  • 'We really should not have played Monopoly’ au
  • Life-sized version of Clue in the old manor on the hill au
  • 'I originally followed you on Instagram bc you’re hot and I’m thirsty but now I’ve developed actual feelings for you bc you’re a genuinely good person’ au
  • 'Fuck me you’re cute why did we have to meet on the one day I decided to stay in my sweats??’ au
  • 'I went to the bar last night bc I just got dumped and wanted to drink away my pain but then one thing lead to another and somehow I broke into your house thinking it was mine and now I can’t find my left shoe but are those waffles I smell?’ au
  • 'I saw that you were reading Eleanor and Park have you gotten to the part where she leaves him and if so can we talk about it because not a lot of people have read this book and I need a shoulder to cry on.’ au
  • 'You passed out in Disneyland and I’ve been taking care of you for the past two hours oh my god are you okay??’ 'Yes I’m okay but who the hell are you supposed to be?’ 'I’m the face character for Peter Pan but that’s not important’ au
  • 'I don’t really know you but I noticed that this creep has been trying to chat you up even though you’ve already turned him down, so I’ll pretend to be your boyfriend/girlfriend  until they leave you alone.’ au
  • Bonnie and Clyde au???
  • Attend same-sex privet schools that are right across the street from each other au
  • Masquerade au
  • 'I don’t like you and you don’t like me but our best friends just died in a car crash and left their one-year-old daughter in our custody so now we’ve got to act civil and end up falling for each other’ au
  • [Basically a Life As We Know It au]
  • 'Found your number inside of a library book that looks like it hasn’t been checked out in ages and decided to text you to see if it worked au
  • 'The biggest rule of immortality is to not get involved with mortals but whoops I was in a coffee shop one day and fell in love with you and now I’m freaking out bc in the grand scope of things we don’t get a lot of time together but fuck no please don’t leave me not yet no.’ au
  • 'I just moved into the apartment next door and I am 100% sure that it’s haunted bc this building used to be a hospital and anyway I heard I noise coming from inside the walls can I please just crash here for the night?’ au
  • 'I know that you’re really into school and probably don’t want to risk your spot on the college football team, but would you mind if I smoked in our dorm room??’ au
  • Followed by 'Nah, I don’t care, as long as I can shotgun some smoke from that pretty little mouth of yours.’ au wow that got sexual and I am not sorry.
  • Went to the beach for the first time au
  • Ancient Rome au
  • Rival team captains who know nothing about personal space and constantly get into fights where they end up face-to-face every single game until one day one of the coaches yells at them to either kiss or get back to the game au
  • 'Hey, so I might have just robbed a bank right now and I kind of need a getaway car, would you pleeeeeaaase help me I can pay you back in sexual favors but also cash.’ au
  • 'I know that you don’t know me, but you were on the receiving end of my girlfriend/boyfriend’s heart donation and being around you kind of makes it feel like they’re still here I’m sorry if that’s kind of weird.’ au
  • 'Shit I wasn’t watching where I was walking and ended up spilling my Rockstar all over your white sweater I’m so sorry here have my jacket.’ au
  • Caught yelling at Go, Diego, Go in the hospital waiting room and after an awkwardly long period of silence the other person joins in bc they’ve got nothing better to do with their waiting time au
  • 'The person living in the apartment across the wall to mine is a nymphomaniac and yeah okay they’re p hot but it’s v hard to write an essay on feminism when all I can hear is sexual screaming.’ au
  • It’s three am, I just wanted some clam chowder, and some how I ended up on Hollywood Bl. can you please tell me where a good restaurant is I think I’m going to cry.’ au
  • 'Fuck my ex just walked into the restaurant with their new girlfriend/boyfriend could you pretend we’re dating so they don’t think I’m hung up on them I swear I’ll pay you later.’ au
  • 'I work at the daycare that you drop your daughter off at every week and she got me sick.’ au
  • 'So I know we just met but it’s raining and my tent has a hole in it, could I sleep in your camper with you?’ au
  • 'Okay okay okay I know we’re just friends and I don’t want anything to change that but I may have told my mom that we’re dating so she would stop trying to set me up with people would you be up to going to my sister’s wedding as my plus one so my mom won’t know I lied?’ au
  • 'Hit me, we’re on college campus and you’ll have to pay for my tuition’ au
  • 'Your headphones aren’t plugged in all the way so that hardcore porn fic you’ve been listening to for the past ten minutes has been broadcasting through the bus on full volume.’ au
  • The Breakfast Club au
  • Wimbledon [the movie] au
  • West Side Story au
  • 'Constantly getting confused as the girlfriend/boyfriend of the lead singer for a heavy metal band bc I’m always going to concerts and getting backstage passes but I’ve never even met the lead singer until the day he/she got drunk and we hooked up in his/her tour bus [whoops now we’re actually dating shh]’ au
  • 'It’s two am, we’re standing outside of our apartment building bc someone pulled the fire alarm, and you look cold and unprepared, do you want to share my blanket?’ au
  • Heartache On The Big Screen au
  • Breakfast At Tiffany's au omg pls
  • 'The zombie apocalypse started two years ago I can’t believe I still have to work at this fucking book store.’ au
  • Long Way Home au
  • We like each other but our dogs don’t so I’m going to have to ask you to stop taking this walking route you attractive fucker’ au
  • 'Sometimes, your soulmate and the love of your life don’t end up being the same person. And that’s something I had to learn the hard way.’ Au

vavisuallight  asked:

Just found your blog and I love it! Do you have any great tips or master posts for APUSH? I've been in need of some help :)

Thank you so much! :) Sorry I’ve been late in answering this. I’m hoping to scan my APUSH notes and put them up before my third quarter ends so people could use them if they wanted. My APUSH teacher has us read chapter by chapter, taking notes and usually answering discussion questions she provides. I find it really helpful to take notes on graph paper so I can add things in and leave space to add information from class and the textbook in chronological order. Here are some links to resources and information I thought might be helpful:) 

*APUSH consumed quite a bit of my study time due to chapter assignments/annotating documents/filling out organizers that were mandatory for the class and note taking/studying of my own

*If you are taking the class this upcoming school year and have a textbook or resource available, I recommend reading through the first few chapters to familiarize yourself with the setup and how long each chapter will take you

Chapter Comprehension Questions:

WPHS Chapter Assignments (These are similar to the discussion questions, good review for tests, not mine/my teachers)

Effective Education Essay Question Database (Old essay questions, not the most interesting to review but helpful)

 Free Online (AP) U.S. History Textbooks:

Open Culture Textbooks (listed under U.S. History) 

American Pageant Textbook Chapters (This is the American Pageant version I use, this is so helpful)

Chapter Summaries:

AP Study Notes (This is my favorite, they have chapter summaries and vocabulary terms)

Study APUSH (This has really nice short bulleted summaries and important topic review, it is missing a few chapters)

 Sciorilli APUSH Review (A PDF of the entire course review that matches up with the American Pageant, 13th Edition)

Review Resources:

Adam Norris APUSH  (Adam Norris’ chapter review videos are a nice way to review for tests)

Jocz Productions APUSH  (Jocz Productions APUSH review channel, typically a little longer than Adam Norris)

Cengage Chapter Tests (Based on the American Pageant textbook, 12th edition) *

Cengage Chapter Tests (Chapter tests, American Pageant textbook, 11th edition) *

*The information is typically the same/similar in all editions but the chapter divisions are different 

Other Tips:

- Color code each chapter and keep the color scheme when completing timelines or referencing the time period

- Review previous chapters as well as the testable ones to review events leading up to the current time

- Reviewing just by rereading and annotating text or primary source documents is great

- Have you heard Hamilton? Revolutionary/Constitution era US History but it’s fun

- Talking through history like a story with friends/family is a fun way to study


:)

anonymous asked:

Hey, sorry if this is a stupid question (you totally don't have to answer it if it is), but I was wondering what the difference between bisexuality and pansexuality is? I tried looking online but there's a lot of conflicting answers, so I don't really know which is the right one. I've also heard some people say that being bi, as opposed to pan, makes you transphobic. Is that true?

hi! it’s definitely not a stupid question. i’m always happy to talk about bi stuff.

first of all, and i think this is the most important thing: being bisexual does not automatically make you transphobic.

there is nothing inherently transphobic about bisexuality. you can be bisexual and transphobic, absolutely, but there’s nothing actually linking them together because you can also be transphobic and gay, or straight, or pan. there’s nothing exclusive about bisexuality that makes you transphobic. anyone who tells you that is biphobic.

now, as for the difference between pan- and bisexuality, it gets a bit trickier. 

  • more often than not, the definitions overlap, which is why it’s so hard to explain the differences. it also depends on how you define bi- and pansexuality. for example, i identify as bisexual, but if someone else were to define me solely based on my dating history, they might say that i’m pansexual because i’ve dated/been involved with both girls and nonbinary people. a lot of people believe bisexual people only date men and women, which isn’t true at all. i’ve dated nonbinary people & i’m just as bisexual for it.
  • a lot of the time, it comes down to personal preference. i could identify as pansexual if i wanted to because my experience & the definition of pansexuality overlap sometimes, but i feel a deeper connection with bisexuality. it resonates with me in a way pansexuality doesn’t. for other people it’s the opposite way; maybe on paper they “should” be bisexual, but pansexuality fits them better so they identify with that instead. both are good and valid!
  • the myth of bisexual = transphobic comes mainly from the prefix “bi”. it is believed that because bi literally means 2, bisexuality is defined as “attraction to men and women”, which excludes nonbinary people and is thereby transphobic. this is not true. most, if not all, bisexual people i know define bisexuality along the lines of “attraction to 2 or more genders”. this can, and often does, include nonbinary genders.

now for some more general definitions!

  • pansexuality is about not having a gender-based limit to your attraction, or that gender isn’t a big factor (or even a factor at all) when you decide who to date. pansexual is about being attracted to people regardless of their gender. from my understanding, this means that gender doesn’t really factor into your attraction to someone.*
  • bisexuality is about attraction to 2 or more genders. this could mean attraction to men and women, or women and nonbinary people, or men and nonbinary people, etc. there are many variations of bisexuality. being bisexual doesn’t necessarily mean the same kind of detachment from gender as pansexuality does. bisexual people experience attraction towards multiple genders but that attraction doesn’t always look or feel the same. that’s one of the reasons i identify as bisexual; because gender is a huge factor in my attraction to someone. i don’t experience the same kind of attraction to for example men and women, and the impression i get from pansexuality is that attraction looks/feels more or less the same regardless of gender. i could be wrong though!*

* pan ppl are welcome to correct me on any of this!

tl;dr there’s no clear-cut difference between pan- and bisexuality. at the end of the day, it’s about preference. bisexual and pansexual practice, like who you date or sleep with, often look the same. therefore the key difference is within the individual person who might feel more or less comfortable with either label. the myth that bisexual people are inherently transphobic is rooted in biphobic ideas of what the “bi” in bisexual means.

Seduce me Christmas fanfic (SamxMika/Reader)

I slowly opened my eyes to find myself, not surprisingly, staring at Sam’s bare chest. His

arms wrapped around me with his chin resting on the top of my head. I sighed happily and rested my head on his chest. After a while, I turned my head to look at the clock.

12:30 December 24.

Christmas eve.

When I realized what day it was, I bolted straight up, smiling brightly. As a reaction to my sudden movement, Sam growled. He didn’t move from where he was, but he made it obvious he was annoyed.

“Sam! Get up! It’s Christmas eve!” I said, shaking him a bit. He didn’t budge.

“Come on! We have stuff to do today! James, Erik, Mathew and Damien are coming

over to help us set stuff up!”

Sam’s only response was him groaning and rolling over on his side. This was starting to annoy me.

“Sam come ON! We have stuff to do today.” I urged, while getting dressed. He lightly started snoring. I growled, but no matter how much I tried to persuade him, he wouldn’t get up. Suddenly an idea came to mind. It was a death wish, sure, but it would definitely wake him. That and I felt like teasing him.

“Sam~” I said, knocking against the bed frame. “Do you want to build a snowman?

I saw him open his eyes and glare at me.

“Mika: don’t you fucking dare.” I giggled.

Come on let’s go and-”

“I swear to god if you finish that verse.”
Plaaaaaaay~”

“That’s It! You’re dead!” He said, throwing off the blanket. As soon as he did, I ran out of the room, giggling. At least I had gotten him up. I silently prayed that Sam wouldn’t use his super speed while I threw on my boots and coat and rushed outside.

I ran behind a tree and looked around. Sam was nowhere in sight. I started getting nervous. Where was he? I looked over my shoulder to see if he was behind me. Suddenly I felt my back hit the snow below me. Shocked, I looked up to see Sam, Pinning me down with a mischievous smirk painted on his face

“Gotcha doofus.”

I was pinned against the snow covered ground, with Sam on top of me. Snow was pressed against my skin, but Sam’s warmth eliminated any cold I should be feeling.

His head went down to my throat and he started planting kissing against my neck. It wasn’t long before he started nipping at the soft skin.

“Ah-! S-Sam…”

I bit my lip, trying to contain what little control I had left. Sam let out a chuckle against my skin.

This tease.

Suddenly, I heard the sound of snow being moved, and realized one of his hands was no longer pinning my wrist down.

“Huh-?”
Before I could finish whatever I was gonna say, I felt snow being shoved into my face. I felt Sam sit up and howl in laughter.

“SAM!” I shouted, shoving him off of me. I wiped the snow off and dried my face with my scarf, glaring at him. He smirked at me, and he made it painfully obvious he was trying to hold back his laughter. I punched him in the shoulder and looked away from him

“Now we’re even.”

“Yeah whatever.”

After an amount of time I looked over to him, and I could see a twinge of of regret in his amused expression.

“Heh, sorry. You alright?” he said, apologetically. Or, as apologetically as Sam could be. I chuckled, letting my bitterness subside.

“Yeah, I’m fine. My face is a little cold though, courtesy of you.”

He chuckled again before grabbing my chin and leaning forward to kiss my nose, Causing a blush to invade my cheeks. He pulled away, smirking smugly at me.

“Better?”

I wanted to say yes, but my mouth wouldn’t form the words I wanted to speak, so I just nodded.

We both stayed like that for a while, Sam still holding my chin in his grasp. It wasn’t long until he brought my face closer to his, eyes half lidded, gazing into mine. Finally I pushed forward and closed the distance between us. Sam wrapped his arms around me as I moved my arms up and around his neck.

Time seemed to stop there, with me and Sam kissing, sitting in the snow.

Hell, time seemed to stop any time I was with Sam. He somehow made my heart pace quicken with everything he did. Everytime he spoke to me, every time he flashed that toothy grin of his, every time he let out that husky chuckle, every time he said he loved me, and every time he showed me just how much he did.

He wasn’t perfect, but he was perfect for me. And I wouldn’t trade him for anything else.

“HEY! ARE WE GONNA DECORATE FOR CHRISTMAS OR DO YOU WANT US TO LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE?!” I heard a familiar voice yell.  Sam and I pulled away from each other and snapped our heads to the owner of the voice.

It was Matthew who shouted at us, along with the other brothers smirking at us.Even James. They were all standing not to far away from us but Sam shouted regardless.

“HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN THERE?”

“Long enough to see you two making kissy faces at each other!” Shouted Matthew.

“We came over to help with the decorating, but we can come back later if you two want to be alone together~!” Shouted Erik.

Sam scowled at his brothers before getting up and charging at them, causing them to both yelp in fear and dash into the house. I walked over to James and Damien, who knew better then to tease Sam. James looked at me with a suspicious smile and an eyebrow raised.

“Care to explain, miss?”

“Not particularly. Wanna come inside? It’s cold out here.”

“You didn’t seem very cold back there.” Damien teased. I felt my cheeks warm up again.

“Or I could leave you out here both to freeze.” I said. With that, we followed Sam, Erik, and Matthew back into the house.

When we had opened the door, we saw Sam chasing his two brothers around the house. I sighed and loudly clapped my hands together, interrupting their game of cat and mouse and causing them to look at me.

“Alright everyone, let’s get organized.”

“That’s what i’m supposed to say.” complained James.

All of us had gone to the dining room, and discussed how we were gonna do this.

“Oooh! This is so exciting!” Said Matthew.

“Why are you so excited?” asked Sam

“Because this is our first Christmas! And also we get to decorate…For the first time in forever!”

“Matthew: I already had to teach Mika what happens when you sing Frozen songs around me. Do you need to be punished too?”

“Ooooooooh, so that’s what that was, huh?”
Sam blushed before looking at me, and then looking down at the floor.

“A-ANYWAYS!”

“Aaaaaanyways. So, Matthew’s got the cookies, James has the tree, Damien has the stockings….Erik what are you doing again?” I asked. He put a finger to his lips and winked to no one in particular

“That’s a secret princess~”

“Riiiiiight.” I said suspiciously.

“And me and Sam are in charge of hanging the lights and stuff. Sound good?” I asked. When they all nodded, we broke off to to the job we were assigned. It didn’t take very long for Sam and I to place lights, holly, bells, ext. (Mostly thanks to his super speed) on almost every part of the mansion.

For some reason though, Sam would only let me hang stuff where I could reach. He would not let me use the ladder. Why though? It kind of irked me but at the same time, it made me happy that he cared for me.

Occasionally I would start humming Christmas carols. Tis the season after all. Sam was fine with it (as long as it wasn’t anything from Frozen) and I even heard him sing the lyrics very quietly under his breath. It made me want to giggle, because he was so cute, but I didn’t because I knew if I did he’d stop and feel embarrassed.

Eventually we reached the archway that separated the kitchen from the entrance room of the mansion. Of course, I couldn’t reach it.

“I’ve got this.” said Sam. But I put my hand on his shoulder and stopped him from climbing the ladder he had just sat down.

“No, I've got this. You’ve done most of the placing things on the high stuff and now I want to do something.” He looked at me,his expression half blank, half concerned.

“But what if-”

“Sam. I’m not gonna fall, got that? I’m not that much of a klutz.” He looked like he wanted to argue, but eventually he sighed and stepped off the ladder.

“Just be careful, alright?”

I smiled reassuringly at him before climbing the ladder. Halfway up, I felt him place his hands on my hips, as if trying to keep me steady. At the moment, I felt a feeling of annoyance and irritation for my incubus. I looked over my shoulder at him.

“Sam: I’m. Fine. It’s not my first time climbing a ladder.”

He stuffed his hands in his pockets and looked down at the floor.

“Right.” He pressed his back up against the wall and left me to place the string of holly and bells across the walls. Eventually he spoke up.

“So why do humans do this? You know, celebrate Christmas and stuff?” He asked

“Well, apparently it’s the day Jesus was born. And Christians felt like that day needed to be celebrated. So: Christmas.”

He nodded. It was my turn to ask a question.

“So, do you have holidays in the abyssal plains?”

He bit his lip, taking my question into consideration.

“Not really. I mean, we celebrated eachothers birthdays but not sure that really counts. Hell, If you can even call it celebrating.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well: when it was one of our birthdays: we would all sneak away and spend the day with each other. Whovever’s birthday it was’s mom would spend some time with them too. It wasn’t really a big extravaganza, especially when we had our dad to avoid. He’d always work James to the bone so we barely saw him, Erik had his mom to deal with, and me, Matthew and Damien would just kind of do our own thing so we were rarely in the same place at the same time.”

“Hmm…I see…” I tore my eyes away from my work to smile at Sam. “Well, you’re not there anymore! You’re here! That’s what’s important!”

A momentary look of surprise crossed over his face before he beamed up at me

“Yeah, I guess it is.”

I looked back at what I was supposed to be doing at something caught my eye that I didn’t notice before: a small green plant with white berries and a red ribbon tied onto it.

Mistletoe? Who had hung mistletoe? I looked down at Sam, who was standing under said mistletoe, and I felt my cheeks slightly heat up at the thoughts circling around in my head.

Somehow, while I was spacing off, I had lost my balance and started to fall backwards.

“KYAAH!”

“WOAH!”

Sam had caught me, and now I was in his arms with him carrying me in his arms like a bride. How was it that we always end up in these predicaments? Though, I wasn’t complaining.

“You alright?” He asked

“Y-Yeah.”

“Good.”He said, putting me down on my feet. He scowled before leaning his forward to nuzzle my forehead to his.

“I told you to be careful doofus.” I closed my eyes and smiled

“Right. Sorry.”

“Well, well, well. Would you look at that.” I heard a someone’s (Cough cough Erik’s) smug voice say. We glanced to see, yet again, the brothers had snuck up on us at the worst possible time.

“Ah, I knew placing mistletoe would be a good idea.” said Erik. So this was his doing. Dammit Erik.

I was blushing from ear to ear, but Sam just stared quizzically at me and his brothers.

“What’s…Mistletoe?” Oh lord how was I supposed to explain this to him?

“Um-w-well, when two people are standing under the mistletoe, they have to-um…” Luckily/not Luckily I didn’t have to explain beyond that because Damien had finished my thoughts for me.

“They have to kiss.” he said, nonchalantly.

I saw Sam’s face flush a shade of red and an surprised look cross his face before I looked down at the floor with the same amount of embarrassment.

“W-WHA? WHY? THAT’S DUMB! I MEAN, WE DON’T HAVE TO IF WE DON’T WANT TO! IF YOU WANT TO THOUGH- NOT SAYING YOU HAVE TO BUT-”
“You’re blowing it Sam!” said Mathew, trying to be encouraging but failing miserably. Sam snapped his head back to glare daggers at his younger brother

“SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU-”

While his head was turned, I took the chance to press a kiss against his cheek, making him freeze in surprise, and blush a deeper shade of red. He looked back at me, and I smiled.

“We may.” I said, trying to make another Frozen reference. If he was angry or annoyed at the reference, he didn’t show it as he leaned in and kissed me.

The other brothers (mostly Erik and Matthew) let out whistles or said “Yeah you do it!” but we payed no attention to them as we melted at each other’s touch.

This was one, if not my favorite, things I loved about Sam. Not just his kisses, but the how I could feel the love and passion he had for me every time his lips touched mine. It made me wonder if he could feel the love and passion I had for him every time we kissed. Although i’m pretty sure I already knew the answer to that question.

Sam loved me, and I loved him. The decorations could wait, Santa could wait, and Christmas could wait. All the mattered to me right now: was being in the arms of the man I loved as we savored the feeling of eachother’s lips, and melted in each other’s embrace.

That was all that I needed in order to have a truly merry Christmas.

Thought of leaving another NSFW cliff hanger, but I decided to just write an actual NSFW and save it for later ;)

anonymous asked:

*curtsies* Dear Duke, I'm sorry to bother you, but you give the best and most coherent advice I've ever found. Do you have any tips on making more graceful scene changes, rather than the dragged-out thing I have going in my current WIP?

*Curtsies* One of the best pieces of advice I ever heard in a writing workshop was “Don’t provide taxi service for your characters.” We don’t need to know how they get from Point A to Point B–most readers will assume the most logical form of transportation if you’re changing locations, and there’s no reason to bore them in the interim. Little hops across time and space are necessary to make the narrative flow, so to hell with being graceful. Chop that shit off at the knees and move on to the next thing. Ideally, you want the structure of a scene to mimic the structure of the whole book: the tension should rise until it’s at the utmost and then boom. End it. Next scene. This is what makes a reader want to keep reading. There’s no need to dick around after the main action has passed, with people awkwardly saying goodbye and looking for their keys and leaving the room. I often find myself stopping on a dime after the last important piece of dialogue. In much the same way, I like to pick up in media res, because it keeps the story from dragging. As long as you find a way to tell the reader where they are and what they’ve missed within the first few lines of a new scene, you’ll be fine. 

Here’s a thing I think a lot of writers forget: Readers are smart. They don’t need you to provide a minute-by-minute itinerary of every character’s day. Drop them in the middle of things. Cut them off when the important stuff’s been said and done. They’ll catch up, and they’ll be much less likely to get bored. Try this for an exercise: Decide what’s absolutely indispensable in each scene and draw a big red line before and after that indispensable stuff. Cut everything outside those red lines. Cut everything you possibly can. Scenes can have cliffhangers or abrupt, sudden starts. Real life doesn’t have smooth cinematic transitions from one important event to the next, so don’t worry about having a nice fade in and out. Worry about getting the story told. 

anonymous asked:

Hey dude I've been following your blog for a while and you got some really cool animations. I myself am trying to learn how to animate but I don't know where to start. So my question to you is where do I start to learn how to animate? Like are there any books I should read or tutorials you would recommend. Thanks for your time man I really apreciate it.

First off, thanks for the compliment and thanks for following me!

I don’t really think there’s any one way, but…

As far as books go, I’d say Preston Blair’s Advanced Animation is probably the best place to start. The name’s pretty misleading- It atcually starts form the very basics. It’s where I started when I started getting more serious about animation, and I’d say it has probably been my biggest help. Learning good construction skills has helped me tremendously with my animation and art. You may have a lot of awesome ideas in your mind, but that won’t help much if you can’t translate them to paper (or tablet, or whatever you may use).  Learn about construction, how lines and features wrap around forms, clear and distinct poses, perspective, etc. Don’t trace the examples, but make your own copies of them step by step and compare them to the images given. Your copies don’t have to be perfect- what’s most important is that you’re learning how and why something looks the way it does.

When I first started copying I made the mistake of trying to make my drawings look exactly the same as in the book, causing frequent frustation. I’d spend forever on one drawing, not really absorbing and understanding what the goal was. Now, that doesn’t mean you should be careless about it… You do want them to look close. Just make sure to go step by step, checking your progress along the way. You’ll get better the farther you go.

You might have taken a look at those pages and thought “Well, that’s interesting and all, but I don’t exactly plan on drawing these old ‘40s Disney-style characters any time soon…”

That’s totally understandable and perfect because the next step is to use the tools you learned from copying those drawings and apply them to your own drawings. After all, what’s the point in copying and learning all those principles if you aren’t going to use 'em? I’d also recommend some life drawing every once in a while. Draw people and objects and learn what things actually do look like and not just what you think they look like. Once again, apply these principles to your own drawings.

Like I said before, though, there’s no one way. That’s just the way I happened to learn. Some people can pull off amazing drawings and animation without a bit of construction!

As for learning actual animation… Watch and study the best! Take influence from both classic and modern animation. I love watching old Warner Brothers cartoons- especially those by Bob Clampett, Tex Avery, and Chuck Jones- and seeing how skillfully they move their characters. I also love anime, too. There are TONS of talented Japanese animators with unique styles and techniques. I have so many favorites I can’t even list them all, but SakugaBooru (occasional 18+ content there so beware) has a huge selection of awesome animation gifs and webms from just about everybody. Whenever you get a chance, browse around the site. Watch and analyze different animators’ works and study the underlying principles. Learn to recognize what’s great and what isn’t. Go frame by frame and see how things move, then try it out for yourself. If possible, check out rough animation too. Preston Blair also goes a little bit into animation (walk cycles, squash and stretch, etc.) later on in his book. I’ve also heard a lot of people recommend The Animator’s Survival Kit, but I haven’t really taken a look at it.

So, yeah, this is a big post coming from somebody who hasn’t had any type of formal training. Please don’t take my advice as the end-all be-all (…is that right?) Everything I’ve learned about animation so far has come from the internet, and I’m still just scratching the surface. There are still tons of things that I need learn and get better at (walk cycles still scare the heck out of me), but I’m going for it. Just look around and explore, both here on Tumblr and the rest of the internet. There’s quite a bit of treasure out there.

Some random tips and stuff:

-When animating, start with the basic forms first. Animating something that has a lot of details can be tricky and I find it easy to lose myself. Starting with the simple parts helps a bunch.

-This is probably just me, but I seem to have some sort of issue when it comes to erasing parts of a drawing. I tend to just draw over it, and over time that gets messy. Soo…. er, don’t be afraid to erase.

-If you’re making a project that’s a bit longer or more complicated than the usual gif or something, have a plan. Srsly. Storyboards help. I’ve learned that the hard way.

Miscellaneous recommendations:

-John K Stuff. Say what you will about him, but he gives solid drawing advice. Tons of information here that has also been a huge help in my learning. Also has some great animation lessons. I’d recommend it for those 16+, though.

-Animation Resources. They have the whole Preston Blair book uploaded.

I hope that wasn’t too long. If you or anybody else has any more questions please don’t hesitate to ask!

onsereverra  asked:

Apologies if this is something you've talked about in the past and I've missed it, but would you be willing to talk a little bit about being single? I'm not in a relationship and don't foresee entering into one anytime soon, and some days I'm totally comfortable with that, but some days I can't help but wonder if I'm missing out, even though I feel like that's not right for me right now. I would love to hear your thoughts on being okay with being single when a relationship feels like the default

I’ve been sitting on this one for awhile, but today I’m in a comfy pajama-wearing hockey-watching beer-drinking rewrite-working kind of mood so I’ll take a stab at it.

There’s a big difference between being alone and being lonely, and the Venn diagram where they intersect is different for everybody. You can be surrounded by people and in a committed relationship and be crushingly lonely, but you can also be alone and not lonely at all.

I am single. I have always been single. I have never been in a long-term relationship. I don’t know why this is, I mean I think I’m fairly awesome and reasonably attractive. Between you, me and the lamppost, I could have had a relationship a number of times if I wanted it, but my standards are probably unrealistic. It’s just the way I’m wired that I FAR prefer being single to being in a relationship that isn’t up to my standards but I’m in just to avoid being single. I have never in my life felt a drive to be coupled, or felt distress because I didn’t have it. So perhaps I’m not the best person to ask, because I really have never felt like I was missing anything. I don’t know if that’s a result of the way I was raised, or just an accident of my personality.

A lot of it probably has to do with the fact that the people around me have never made me feel like being in a relationship WAS the default. My family have NEVER given me the “so when are you going to get a partner” talk, or wondered when I was going to “settle down” or asked for grandkids or implied that I was somehow lacking because I was single. I never got that pressure from them. They have always valued me and the life I’ve made for myself on its own merits. (Part of me wonders if they never thought I COULD have a relationship since I’ve been fat my whole life, so they set about valuing other things about me just assuming that nobody would ever want me, but that’s another discussion)

My father once told me that he admired that I’m so comfortable in my own company. I think that’s a big part of it. I have worked hard to make the inside of my own head an interesting place to live, and myself a rewarding person to hang out with, since I am the person I spend the most time with. 

I have days when I think I’d like to have a partner, someone to share things with. I have other days when I think I wouldn’t want to up-end my entire routine and my life the way I have it. Nothing is without downsides in life. In general, I love my life.

But I definitely sometimes think…why has nobody ever loved me? Why do other people get to have that, but I don’t? Do I not deserve it? Am I just unlovable and hopelessly unattractive? Part of it, I’m perfectly aware, is that I don’t put myself out there for it very much. I might not be an easy person to start a relationship with. I’ve had a lot of first dates that I thought went great and then I never heard from them again. I shrug it off, mostly.

Mostly.

It’s important for all of us, I think, to separate ourselves from the idea that we are not enough by ourselves. I require nobody to complete me, I am a complete person in my own right. I have a lot to offer, but I don’t need a partner to be the recipient. I am not alone in life and I can honestly say that I very rarely feel lonely (if ever). I value myself, my own company, and I don’t let not having a partner keep me from doing anything I want to do.

I’m honestly not sure right now how well I’d deal with having someone constantly in my life all the time, or sharing my living space. I’m so set in my ways at this point. But if I were to meet someone who was worth making those changes, I’d do it. But if I don’t…it’s okay.