this is one of my all time favorite scenes in a drama ever

necrojade  asked:

On a happy note, what are some of your favorite things about Lance? :3

oh boy 

  • he loves mermaids
  • THE SQUEAL WHEN HE SAYS “MERMAIDS!!!” YOU KNOW THE ONE
  • “i dont need pants. im a mermaid”
  • he’s an amazing sniper and, as an archer, i have a soft spot for long-distance weapons and characters using them
  • he has pretty pretty blue eyes and they’re so expressive
  • sound effects
  • flirts with aliens at any given time, at all, like, me too??????
  • “hasta la later, keith” *dances aggressively*
  • helped pidge find money so she could buy a game she was excited about and also turned into a dolphin-human hybrid to do so. he loves her so much i want to die 
  • related: he’s probably the best older brother i bet he took his younger siblings to the beach and stayed w them all day and played with them and made sand castles and sand mermaids with them
  • literally puts his life in danger regularly to save people ???  the explosion and air vacuum thingie scenes come to mind. god he’s so good
  • that being said he can be kinda selfish (literally manipulated hunk into leaving his lion and coming w him to investigate mermaids just bc he likes mermaids) and i love that about him, i love that he’s not a perfect good boy, i wish the fandom would stop ignoring this tbh tbh
  • the entire scene in s2 where he was talking abt their plan and like, did amazing imitations. shook his butt. dabbed. literally morphed into a strange galra-humanoid thing for the sake of The Drama™
  • “that’s the tagline from like six of my favourite movies” lance is a big nerd confirmed
  • his fucking pickup lines are so funny? they’re so bad they’re good. i’d fall for them lance. i’d fall for them
  • takes the time to explain stuff when keith doesnt understand, like, they could have easily just made him make fun of keith for not getting the “vol” “tron” thing but he instead explains it 
  • also good at diffusing situations and thinking things thru *insert that god i wish that were me meme*
  • *talks fondly about his team and then immediately shits on himself* relatable tbh (but i wish he wouldnt)
  • god, his insecurities are so real they’re palpable. i think a lot of people can see themselves in him bc of them and that’s really cool
  • “is…that a cow” “mmhmmm” 
  • arguably the only paladin with any semblance of fashion sense
  • AND ON THAT NOTE HE’S A MALE CHARACTER WHO’S SHOWN TO LOVE SKINCARE UNABASHEDLY and that’s not something you ever see in media and as a cosmetician IT’S REALLY COOL BECAUSE NOW LITTLE BOYS WILL WATCH THIS AND SAY “hey lance is cool and he takes care of his skin maybe i should too!!!” like YES LANCE THANK YOU FOR DESTROYING TOXIC MASCULINITY 
  • the scene w coran and keith outside his door, when he cuts keith off with the buhububbUHBUHUHGBUHG >A< !!!!!
  • his little “yup” after shiro says the sharpshooter thing
  • HIS ENTIRE RELATIONSHIP W HUNK TBH FRIENDSHIP GOALS he looks at hunk so fondly NEED ME A FREAQUE LIKE THAT
  • *beautifully emerges from a coma to shoot someone, smirks, falls back into a coma beautifully*
  • also flirts w allura to hide the fact that he’s genuinely concerned about their situation that’s a big mood
  • flirts the moment he emerges from a fucking coma
  • flirts. so much. he’s always flirting i love that boy
  • MAMA’S BOY♥
  • when he had a squid on his head and just rolled w it
  • “this castle has gone apples and bananas!”
  • this:

edit: i forgot where i snagged this pic from but it was from one of @planced‘s gifsets :)

i coudl go on but for your sake i will stop

anonymous asked:

dark rc would you please consider writing about how victor (and the rest of the Russian skate team) had a feud with the Russian hockey team bc of their constant flirting and attentions towards yuuri (who was completely oblivious at the war waging for his heart)??

This has been sitting in my inbox for over a month and I apologize for that, nonny! I wanted to try my hand at breaking through this writer’s block and this prompt was ripe for the taking. It’s not my best work by any stretch, but it’s something at least! I hope you enjoy.

+

There are few things that give Yuri pleasure—the taste of accomplishment like cinnamon sugar on the back of his tongue after landing a quad; having a comeback so cutting that he practically draws blood; that soft murrf a cat makes when it decides it trusts him; the little green screenshot arrow appearing next to Otabek’s name in Snapchat—but they all pale in comparison to whenever the Russian hockey team visits the rink.

Keep reading

Skam season 4, episode 8: “Don’t look back in anger” - oh but I will!!

Guys, I failed with the recaps as much as Julie failed to structure a coherent season 4 storyline. So Julie, girl, I get ya.  But I’ll still rant over what I’ve just seen.

I’ve been relatively positive about the post-hiatus episodes, because as painful as they were for Sana (and me), at least they were about Sana.  I was kind of sure that everything was going to be resolved in a way, because let’s be honest, in the end everything will be fine.  Expect, this time, I won’t be fine (yes, it’s all about me.  Call me Noora.)

Anger Issue part 1

Now, this last episode that just ended.  Episode 8.  Let me get the Even and co. stuff out of the way first, because I know that it causes the most anger right now.  

In the very first clip  of this week’s episode (!!) we got an entire conversation between the Bakkoush siblings about why the friendship between the Balloon Squad and Even ended back then.  We got Elias’ view on what happened (remember how Yousef told us his version? ).  We saw a conversation between Sana and Even all those years ago where it was pretty obvious that there were a few unresolved matters between him and his former buddies.  So surely it wasn’t too crazy to expect some kind of scene that would resolve that particular storyline, right?  Wrong.  In this week’s final clip we suddenly see them all peacefully re-united, playing, dancing, singing together as if nothing has ever happened.  Now, I don’t need to be spoon-fed with every little detail, I understand that people solve things, but this was a story touched upon quite a few times this season.  So how did the boys get there?  The cute, happy scenes felt completely un-deserved. Also, dropping a teenager’s suicide attempt as background information on said character and never following up on that is not just low, it’s simply irresponsible.  Get it fucking together, Julie.  

And don’t get me started on Isak, who apparently punched Mikael in a drunk, jealous rage back at the karaoke thingy.  Um.  Ok.  I get being jealous, he did seem a bit that way when he tried snooping around finding out more about Mikael.  Still, doesn’t make sense.  But yeah, give us that striking image of a favorite character violently bleeding and being in pain.  Only to have a bullshit explanation as to why that happened.

Another issue within this storyline that made no sense:  Sana seriously thinking that her sweet, loving, kind brother is a homophobe who goes around and punches her friends.  Um, what?  And then she doesn’t talk to him for weeks, only to finally get what happened when Isak tells her that it was basically his fault?  That’s crazy out of character.  Sana knows her brother. And for her to not ask him about it earlier is insane.  

Anger Issue part 2

Ok.  Moving on to the girls.  Sana destroyed Sara by releasing private chat screenshots she took of a conversation between her and Isak.  I am a bad person, because as much as I knew that it was wrong, I cheered for Sana.  Yep.  Sue me.  When Sana finally came clean to the girls (accidentally) when it looked like Isak might bet expelled (because he took the fall for Sana), they dropped Sana.  In one of the most painful scenes I’ve ever watched on this show, Chris told Sana that the other girls don’t like her as much anymore because they felt she had changed throughout this whole bus drama.  This was terrible.  And was surely to be resolved in some kind of scene between Sana and at least one of the girls, maybe Eva who seemed the most angry.  Well….the next scene, when Sana was all alone with the awful Pepsi Max girls and which included a powerful voiceover from Sana, we suddenly see the girl squad coming to the rescue in their very own bus, happily screaming for Sana who is all happy too and gets on the bus with them.  Now, did the girls see the light and finally got that their friend must have had reasons to do what she had done?  Probably.  I can live with not getting that scene. It’s not from their POV.  But to not have a scene between them talking about it in some way later on is not ok and doesn’t make any sense.  Another storyline resolved without feeling deserved.

Anger Issue part 3

And now…the final moments of the episode 8′s last clip. Sana and Noora talk, it turns out (for Sana, we knew this all along I guess) that Yousef does indeed like her a LOT.  We learn all this through several minutes of Sana reading the texts between Noora and Yousef discussing his feelings for Sana.  Um, ok?  If this is how you want to do it, fine.  They exchange loving looks and Yousef seems to understand that things are looking up for them. We’ll get a sweet scene between Sana and Yousef later, right?  Well….I guess not.  Julie went all Red Wedding on my feelings by having a big ass dramatic scene for the arrival of…Wilhelm and boy-Chris.  It suddenly became Noora’s season again.  That was the big moment of this clip.  For real, guys. The episode didn’t end with a Sana moment, it was all about Noora and Wilhelm and I guess that’s what the final two episodes are going to be about.  Everything else has been resolved in this episode.  Don’t expect any deep talks between Sana and Even, or Sana and Yousef or Sana and the girls about what happened to their friendship.  From here on it will be the resolution to season 2.  Good luck, Julie.  It was fine while it lasted I guess.

Full Esquire Interview - CHRIS EVANS IS READY TO FIGHT

“HIS SUCCESS AS CAPTAIN AMERICA HAS MADE CHRIS EVANS ONE OF HOLLYWOOD’S SURE THINGS, WHICH MEANS HE CAN DO WHATEVER HE WANTS WITH HIS FREE TIME. SO WHY JUMP OUT OF AIRPLANES AND GET INTO IT WITH DAVID DUKE?

BY MAXIMILLIAN POTTERMAR 15, 2017


The Canadian commandos are the first to jump. Our plane reaches an altitude of about eight thousand feet; the back door opens. Although it’s a warm winter day below in rural southern California, up here, not so much. In whooshes freezing air and the cold reality that this is actually happening. Out drop the eight commandos, all in black-and-red camouflage, one after the other. For them it’s a training exercise, and Jesus, these crazy bastards are stoked. The last Canuck to exit into the nothingness is a freakishly tall stud with a crew cut and a handlebar mustache; just before he leaps, he flashes a smile our way. Yeah, yeah, we get it: You’re a badass.

Moments later, the plane’s at ten thousand feet, and the next to go are a Middle Eastern couple in their late thirties. These two can’t wait. They are ecstatic. Skydiving is clearly a thing for them. Why? I can’t help thinking. Is it like foreplay? Do they rush off to the car after landing and get it on in the parking lot? They give us the thumbs-up and they’re gone.

Just like that, we’re at 12,500 feet and it’s our turn. Me and Chris Evans, recognized throughout the universe as the star of the Marvel-comic-book-inspired Captain America and Avengers movies. The five films in the series, which began in 2011 with Captain America: The First Avenger, have grossed more than $4 billion.

The two of us, plus four crew members, are the only ones left in the back of the plane. Over the loud drone of the twin propellers, one of the crew members shouts, "Okay, who’s going first?”

Evans and I are seated on benches opposite each other. Neither of us answers. I look at him; he looks at me. I feel like I’ve swallowed a live rat. Evans is over there, all Captain America cool, smiling away.

While we were waiting to board the plane, Evans told me that as he lay in bed the night before, “I started exploring the sensation of ‘What if the chute doesn’t open?’. . .”

Oh, did you now?

“. . .Those last minutes where you know.” As in you know you’re going to fatally splat. “You’re not gonna pass out; you’re gonna be wide awake. So what? Do I close my eyes? Hopefully, it would be quick. Lights out. I fucking hope it would be quick. And then I was like, if you’re gonna do it, let’s just pretend there is no way this is going to go wrong. Just really embrace it and jump out of that plane with gusto.” Evans also shared that he’d looked up the rate of skydiving fatalities. “It’s, like, 0.006 fatalities per one thousand jumps. So I figure our odds are pretty good.”

Again the crew member shouts, “Who’s going first?”

Again I look at Evans; again he looks at me. The rat is running circles in my belly.

I look at Evans; he looks at me.

Another crew member asks, “So whose idea was this, anyway?”


That’s an excellent question.

I ask Evans the same thing when we first meet, the evening before our jump, at his house. He lives atop the Hollywood Hills, in a modern-contemporary ranch in the center of a Japanese-style garden. The place has the vibe of an L.A. meditation retreat—there’s even a little Buddha statue on the front step.

The dude who opens the front door is in jeans, a T-shirt, and Nikes; he has on a black ball cap with the NASA logo, and his beard is substantial enough that for a second it’s hard to be sure this is the same guy who plays the baby-faced superhero. Our handshake in the doorway is interrupted when his dog rockets toward my crotch. Evans is sorry about that.

We do the small-talk thing. Evans is from a suburb of Boston, one of four kids raised by Dad, a dentist, and Mom, who ran a community theater. The point is, he’s a Patriots fan, and with Super Bowl LI, between the Pats and the Falcons, just a few days away at the time, it’s about the only thing on his mind. You bet your Sam Adams–guzzling ass he’s going to the game in Houston. “Oh my God,” he says, doing a little dance. “I can’t believe it’s this weekend.”

Like any self-respecting Pats fan, Evans is super-wicked pissed at NFL commissioner Roger Goodell.

Evans won’t be rolling to SB LI with a posse of Beantown-to-Hollywood A-listers like Mark Wahlberg, Matt Damon, and Ben Affleck. For the record, he’s never met Damon, and his only interaction with Wahlberg was a couple years ago at a Patriots event. Evans has, however, humiliated himself in front of Affleck.

Around 2006, Evans met with Affleck to talk about Gone Baby Gone, which Affleck was directing. Evans was walking down a hallway, looking for the room where they were supposed to meet. Walking by an open office, he heard Affleck, in that thick Boston accent of his, shout, “There he is!” (Evans does a perfect Affleck impersonation.)

By then, Evans had hit the big time for his turn as the Human Torch, Johnny Storm, in 2005’s Fantastic Four, but he still got starstruck. As he tells it, “First thing I say to him: 'Am I going to be okay where I parked?’ He was like, 'Where did you park?’ I said, 'At a meter.’ And he was like, 'Did you put money in the meter?’ And I said, 'Yep.’ And he says, 'Well, I think you’ll be okay.’ I was like, this is off to a great fucking start.” Stating the obvious here: Evans did not get the part.

No, Evans will be heading to the Super Bowl with his brother and three of his closest buddies. Like any self-respecting Pats fan, Evans is super-wicked pissed at NFL commissioner Roger Goodell for imposing that suspension on Tom Brady for Deflategate. Grabbing two beers from a fridge that’s otherwise basically empty, Evans says, “I just want to see Goodell hand the trophy to Brady. Goodell. Piece of shit.”

In Evans’s living room, there’s not a single hint of his Captain Americaness. Earth tones, tables that appear to be made of reclaimed wood. Open. Uncluttered. Glass doors open onto a backyard with a stunning view of the Hills. Evans stretches out on one of two couches. I take the other and ask, “Just whose idea was it to jump?” Since we both know whose idea it wasn’t, we both know that what I’m really asking is Why? Why, dude, do you want to jump (with me) from a goddamn airplane? “Yeah,” he says, popping open his beer, “I don’t know what I was thinking.”

Settling in on the couch, he groans. Evans explains that he’s hurting all over because he just started his workout routine the day before to get in shape for the next two Captain America films. The movies will be shot back to back beginning in April. After that, no more red- white-and-blue costume for the thirty-five-year-old. He will have fulfilled his contract.

“Yeah,” he says, popping open his beer, “I don’t know what I was thinking.”

Back in 2010, Marvel presented Evans with a nine-picture deal. He insisted he’d sign on for no more than six. Some family members thought he was nuts to dial back such a secure and lucrative gig. Evans saw it differently.

It takes five months to shoot a Marvel movie, and when you tack on the promotional obligations for each one, well, shit, man. Evans knew that for as long as he was bound to Captain America, he would have little time to take on other projects. He wanted to direct, he wanted to play other characters—roles that were more human—like the lead in Gifted, which will hit theaters this month. The script had brought him to tears. Evans managed to squeeze the movie in between Captain America and Avengers films.

FOX Searchlight

In Gifted, Evans stars as Frank Adler. You don’t get much more human than Adler, a grease-under-his-nails boat-engine mechanic living the bachelor life in Florida. After a series of tragic circumstances, Adler becomes a surrogate father to his niece, Mary, a first-grader with the IQ of Einstein. He recognizes that Mary is a little genius, and he does his best to prevent anyone else from noticing. Given the aforementioned circumstances, Adler has witnessed what can happen when a kid with a brilliant mind is pushed too hard too quickly. Then along comes Mary’s teacher. She discovers the child’s gift, and a Kramer vs. Kramer–esque drama ensues.

During a moment in the film when things aren’t going Adler’s way, he sarcastically refers to himself as a “fucking hero.” Evans says the line didn’t lead him to make comparisons between superhero Steve Rogers (aka Captain America) and Everyman hero Frank Adler. But now that you mention it . . . 

“With Steve Rogers,” Evans says, “even though you’re on a giant movie with a huge budget and strange costumes, you’re still on a hunt for the truth of the character.” That said, “with Adler, it’s nice to play someone relatable. I think Julianne Moore said, 'The audience doesn’t come to see you; they come to see themselves.’ Adler is someone you can hold up as a mirror for someone in the audience. They’ll be able to far more easily identify with Frank Adler than Steve Rogers.”

Dodger. That’s the name of Evans’s dog, the one who headbutted my nuts and has since done a marvelous job of making amends by nuzzling against me on the couch. Evans got him while he was filming Gifted; one of the last scenes was shot in an animal shelter in Georgia. Evans had wanted a dog ever since his last pooch died in 2012. Then he found himself walking the aisles of this pound, and there was this mixed-breed boxer, wagging his tail and looking like he belonged with Evans.

Dodger is not exactly a name you’d think a die-hard Boston sports fan would pick. His boys from back home have given him a ton of shit over it. But he has not abandoned his Red Sox for the L.A. team. As a kid, he loved the Disney animated movie Oliver & Company, and his favorite character was Dodger. Anticipating the grief he was going to get from his pals, Evans considered other names. “You could name your dog Doorknob,” he says, “and in a month he’s fucking Doorknob.” Evans’s mom convinced him to go with his gut.

Right around when Evans was wrapping Gifted and heading back to L.A. with Dodger, the 2016 presidential campaign was still in that phase when no one, including the actor—a Hillary Clinton supporter—thought Trump had a shot. He still can’t believe Trump won.

“I feel rage,” he says. “I feel fury. It’s unbelievable. People were just so desperate to hear someone say that someone is to blame. They were just so happy to hear that someone was angry. Hear someone say that Washington sucks. They just want something new without actually understanding. I mean, guys like Steve Bannon—Steve Bannon!—this man has no place in politics.”

Evans has made, and continues to make, his political views known on Twitter. He tweeted that Trump ought to “stop energizing lies,” and he recently ended up in a heated Twitter debate with former KKK leader David Duke over Trump’s pick of Jeff Sessions for attorney general. Duke baselessly accused Evans of being anti-Semitic; Evans encouraged Duke to try love: “It’s stronger than hate. It unites us. I promise it’s in you under the anger and fear.” Making political statements and engaging in such public exchanges is a rather risky thing for the star of Captain America to do. Yes, advisors have said as much to him. “Look, I’m in a business where you’ve got to sell tickets,” he says. “But, my God, I would not be able to look at myself in the mirror if I felt strongly about something and didn’t speak up. I think it’s about how you speak up. We’re allowed to disagree. If I state my case and people don’t want to go see my movies as a result, I’m okay with that.”

Trump. Bannon. Politics. Now Evans is animated. He gets off the couch, walks out onto his porch, and lights a cigarette. “Some people say, 'Don’t you see what’s happening? It’s time to yell,' ” Evans says. “Yeah, I see it, and it’s time for calm. Because not everyone who voted for Trump is going to be some horrible bigot. There are a lot of people in that middle; those are the people you can’t lose your credibility with. If you’re trying to change minds, by spewing too much rhetoric you can easily become white noise.”


Evans has a pretty remarkable “How I got to Hollywood” story.

During his junior year of high school, he knew he wanted to act. He was doing it a lot. In school. At his mom’s theater. He loved it. “When you’re doing a play at thirteen years old and have opening night? None of my friends had opening nights. 'I can’t have a sleepover, guys; I have an opening night tonight.' ”

That same year, he did a two-man play. For all of the twenty-plus plays Evans had done up to that point, preparation meant going home, memorizing lines, and doing a few run-throughs with the cast. However, for this play, Fallen Star, he and his costar would rehearse by running dialogue with each other. Hour upon hour, night after night.

Fallen Star is about two friends, one of whom has just died. As the play opens, one of the characters comes home after the funeral to find his dead friend’s ghost. Evans was the ghost. Waiting backstage on opening night, he knew he didn’t have every line memorized, but he had the essence and emotion of the play down. Onstage, he remembers, “I was saying the lines not because they were memorized but because the play was in me. I was believing what I was saying.”

He was hooked. He wanted to do more of this kind of acting—real acting. He wanted to do films, in which the camera was right on him and he could just be the character, rather than theater, in which an actor must perform to the back of the room.

A family friend who was a television actor advised Evans that if he wanted to go to Hollywood, he needed an agent. Toward the end of his junior year, he had a ballsy request for his parents: If he found an internship with a casting agent in New York City, would they allow him to live there and cover the rent? They agreed. Evans landed a gig with Bonnie Finnegan, who was then working on the television show Spin City.

“I just fucked off. I lost my virginity that year. 1999 was one of the best years of my life.” Until it wasn’t.

Evans chose to intern with a casting agent because he figured he had more of a chance to interact with other agents trying to get auditions for their clients.

The kid was sixteen years old.

Finnegan put Evans on the phone; his responsibilities included setting up appointments for auditions. By the end of the summer, he picked the three agents he had the best rapport with and asked each of them to give him a five-minute audition. All three said yes. After seeing his audition, all three were interested.

Evans went with the one Finnegan recommended, Bret Adams, who told Evans to return to New York for auditions in January, television pilot season. Back home, Evans doubled up on a few classes the first semester of his senior year, graduated early, and went back to New York in January. He got the same shithole apartment in Brooklyn and the same internship with Finnegan. He landed a part on the pilot Opposite Sex. Even better, the show got picked up and would start shooting in L.A. that fall.

“I know I’m going to L.A. in August,” Evans says, recalling that period. “So I go home and that spring I would wake up around noon, saunter into high school just to see my buddies, and we’d go get high in the parking lot. I just fucked off. I lost my virginity that year. 1999 was one of the best years of my life.” Until it wasn’t.

He wasn’t in L.A. for even a month when he got a call from home. His parents were divorcing. Evans never saw it coming.

Family and love and the struggles therein are part of what attracted Evans to Gifted.

“In my own life, I have a deep connection with my family and the value of those bonds,” he says. “I’ve always loved stories about people who put their families before themselves. It’s such a noble endeavor. You can’t choose your family, as opposed to friends. Especially in L.A. You really get to see how friendships are put to the test; it stirs everyone’s egos. But if something goes south with a friend, you have the option to say we’re not friends anymore. Your family—that’s your family. Trying to make that system work and trying to make it not just functional but actually enjoyable is a really challenging endeavor, and that’s certainly how it is with my family.”


the plane, a decision is made.

“I want to see you jump first,” Evans shouts my way.

Of course he does.

Like any respectable and legal skydiving center, Skydive Perris, which is providing us with this “experience,” doesn’t just strap a chute on your back. First, you go to a room for a period of instruction. Then you go to another room, where you sign away your rights.

You may be wondering how the star of a billion-dollar franchise with two pictures to shoot gets clearance to jump from an airplane—never mind the low rate of fatalities, as Evans has presented it. So am I.

“Well, they give you all these crazy insurance policies, but even if I die, what are they going to do? Sue my family? They’d probably cast some new guy at a cheaper price and save some money.”

Thinking the answer is almost certainly going to be no, I ask Evans if he’s ever gone skydiving before. Turns out he has, with an ex-girlfriend. Turns out that ex-girlfriend is now married to Justin Timberlake. Evans and Jessica Biel dated off and on from 2001 to 2006. They took the leap together when Biel hatched the idea for one Valentine’s Day. According to media accounts, Evans was recently dating his Gifted costar Jenny Slate, who plays the teacher. “Yeah,” he says, “but I’m steering clear of those questions.” You can almost feel his heart pinch.

“There’s a certain shared life experience that is tough for someone else who’s not in this industry to kind of wrap their head around.”

We end up broadly discussing the unique challenges an international star like Evans faces when it comes to dating, specifically the trust factor. Evans supposes that’s why so many actors date other actors: “There’s a certain shared life experience that is tough for someone else who’s not in this industry to kind of wrap their head around,” he says. “Letting someone go to work with someone for three months and they won’t see them. It really, it certainly puts the relationship to the test.”

In Gifted, there’s a moment when Slate’s character asks Adler what his greatest fear is. Frank Adler’s greatest fear is that he’ll ruin his niece’s life. Evans’s greatest fear is having regrets.

“Like always kind of wanting to be there as opposed to here. I think I’m worried all of a sudden I’ll get old and have regrets, realize that I’ve not cultivated enough of an appreciation for the now and surrendering to the present moment.”

Evans’s musings have something to do with the fact that he has been reading The Surrender Experiment. “It’s about the basic notion that we are only in a good mood when things are going our way,” he says. “The truth is, life is going to unfold as it’s going to unfold regardless of your input. If you are an active participant in that awareness, life kind of washes over you, good or bad. You kind of become Teflon a little bit to the struggles that we self-inflict.”

He continues: “Our conscious minds are very spread out. We worry about the past. We worry about the future. We label. And all of that stuff just makes us very separate. What I’m trying to do is just quiet it down. Put that brain down from time to time and hope those periods of quiet and stillness get longer. When you do that, what rises from the mist is a kind of surrendering. You’re more connected as opposed to being separate. A lot of the questions about destiny or fate or purpose or any of that stuff—it’s not like you get answers. You just realize you didn’t need the questions.”

This here—this stuff about surrendering, letting life unfold, taking the leap—this is why he wanted to go skydiving. It’s why that sixteen-year-old took the leap and did the summer in New York; it’s why he took the leap and turned down the nine-picture deal; it’s why he got Dodger. Surrender. Take the leap.

And so I go first.

Oh, one important detail: Novice jumpers like Evans and me, we don’t jump solo. Thank God. Each of us is doing a tandem jump. Each of us is strapped with our back to a professional jumper’s front. I’m strapped to a forty-four-year-old dude named Paul. Considering what’s about to happen, I figure I should know a little something about Paul. He tells me he used to own a bar in Chicago. Evans is strapped to a young woman named Sam, who looks to be twenty-something. She’s got a purplish-pink streak in her black hair and says things like “badass.” In fact, Sam introduced herself  by saying, “I’m Sam, but you can call me Badass.”

At the plane’s open door, my mind goes to my wife and two teenage sons, to those I love, and to the texts I just sent in case my chute fails. Then Paul and I—well, really mostly Paul—rock gently back and forth to build momentum to push away from the plane, to push away from all that seems sane.

Three.

Two.

One.

Holy fuck.

HOLY FUCK. This is what I scream as we free-fall from 12,500 feet, at more than a hundred miles an hour, toward the earth. Which I cannot take my eyes off of. I think about nothing. Not living. Not dying. Nothing. I simply feel . . . I have let go.

Suddenly, it all stops. I’m jerked up. Paul has pulled the chute, and it does indeed open. This is fantastic, because it means we have a much better chance of not dying. But it’s also kind of a bummer. I had let go. Of everything. I had chosen to play those odds Evans had talked about. I had embraced jumping and letting life unfold.

Now I had been jerked back. I would land. Back on the earth I had been so high above and from which I had been so far removed. Back in all of it.

Once I’m on the ground, safe and in one piece, a staffer runs over and asks how I feel. I say, “I feel like Captain America.”

The staffer runs over and asks Evans the same question. He says he feels great. Then he’s asked another question: What was your favorite part?

“Jumping out,” he says. “Jumping out is always a real thrill.”


This article appears in the April '17 issue of Esquire.

10 of my favorite Korean drama couples

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Valentine’s day is coming up, so here are my 10 favorite Korean drama couples. (in no particular order)

Hong Nan Hee & Byung Hyung Tae - 9 Ends 2 Outs

If I had to choose my favorite couple of all time, Nan He and Hyung Tae would take the title. These two best friends turned lovers are still making my heart pound whenever I watch 9 Ends 2 Outs. Their knowledge and understanding of one another, as well as their constant need to protect each other was wonderfully portrayed. And Soo Ae’s chemistry with Lee Jung Jin was so on point I wondered if they didn’t date in real life.

Ban Ji Yoon & Yoon Dong Ha - A Witch’s Romance

Noona Romance are not new in kdramas but this one is probably my favorite. It was heartbreaking to watch Ban Ji Yoon fight her feelings for Dong Ha because of their 14-year old gap, but the mature take on the subject made it worth it. Plus, their kiss scenes were just too hot.

Na Bong Sun & Kang Sun Woo - Oh My Ghost

These two are just too cute. Introvert Bong Sun and top chef Sun Woo didn’t look like they were ever going to fall in love but thankfully our ghost Soon Ae helped a little. I particularly love how Sun Woo just can’t resist Na Bong cuteness. 

 Kim Bok Joo & Jung Joon Hyung - Weightlifting Fairy, Kim Bok Joo

A fan favorite and probably the best couple of 2016, Bok Joo and Joon Hyung have brought to light a realistic portrayal of a couple and their relationship. From strangers, to friends, to lovers they’ve showed us how a relation based on respect, communication and trust can work.

Cheon Song Yi & Do Min Joon - You Who Came From The Stars

If these two aren’t the definition of opposites that attracts I don’t know who could be. Using one of my favorite trope, neighbors/cohabitation, Cheon Song Yi and Do Min Joon’ love story was stellar. 

Choi Hee Jin & Kim Bong Do - Queen In Hyun’s Man

Another opposite attracts kind of story, Choi Hee Jin and Kim Bong Do made my heart pound and break and pound again. The idea that love is timeless and that 400 years of distance is not such an issue was one of my favorites out of all the love stories. 

Yoon Myeong Joo & Seo Dae Young - Descendants of the Sun

Set in the military, the obstacle they faced wasn’t just your usual parents disapproval. Seo Dae Young’ struggle to follow orders while trying to keep Yoon Myeong Joo from hurting was heart wrenching. But it’s Yoon Myeong Joo’ stubbornness that made this couple so lovable. This and their beautiful theme song.

Jang Dan Bi & Lee Do - Splash Splash Love

It was only two episodes but these two gave me feelings that some couples haven’t been able to do in 20 episodes. Their love story was short lived but so sweet that it will be remembered for eternity.  

Grim Reaper & Sunny - Goblin

Definitely the couple with the most painful story on this list, Wang Yeo and Sunny made cry like a baby. To be exact, it’s the innocent and slow approach this couple took only to find out the ugly truth that made cry. Like hurting in one life is already awful but can you imagine it being your destiny? Granted their reincarnation did get a happily ever after but it wasn’t the same. 

Go Eun Chan & Choi Han Gyeol - Coffee Prince

I love these two because not only did they do the romance but they also did the bromance. Their love story was really one that transcended genders, which was quite a feature for Korean drama. Han Gyeol struggle to understand his feelings for Eun Chan, followed by his acceptance of the situation gave me so many feelings. 

One thing all these couple have in common is how much they loved each other, they might not have made the best decisions all the time but their love is so big that it blinded me several times. 

On this note, I wish you all a Happy Valentine’s Day whether you are in a relationship or single. For those of you who are in relationship, enjoy your time with your significant other. For those you who are single (like me) don’t feel desperate and just enjoy the day with yourself or your friends. Finally for those of you who don’t celebrate/care about Valentine’s Day…have a wonderful tuesday :)

carly’s pynch fic rec

basically, i’ve read a lot of fic, some of which i haven’t seen on rec lists on tumblr anywhere and i just thought that had to be remedied so: here we go. ten fics sorted by word count. most of them are multichapter, and rated M or E.

★★★★★144k+ words, rated M, completed

light with a sharpened edge by poetic_leopard aka @winterblues

Adam Parrish works as a sober companion, but he has no idea of the storm that’s soon to hit him when Ronan Lynch turns out to be his newest client. (Or the one where Adam Parrish and Ronan Lynch are trapped underneath the same roof for six weeks.)*Ronan, to his surprise, opened his eyes. For a breathless moment, Adam was transfixed in them. They were the color of the ocean on the most azure of nights, lightning right before it struck the ground, damp hydrangeas on a fog-swept morning. Those eyes gave him chills.

this fic!! solidly one of my favorite fics! (although, i’m only recommending my favorites) ronan is a little more of an asshole than usual, but, it’s an AU so.. it works. the writing in this is lovely and poetic and leaves you hanging off of every word. 

[more recs under the cut]

Keep reading

Why we enjoy Sarah J Maas’s books:

Alright! So I finally got through all of the survey responses. I got over 300! However, I did have to throw out over 50 as many people decided to check more than 5 for likes or dislikes. And I don’t think google forms lets you limit the number they can check? Anyways, it’s fine because I still have 254 usable responses and tons of lovely quotes/thoughts/rants from all of you!!

I’ll put the data charts up top and then the long answer responses below, divided into sections.

So clearly, we are overwhelmingly here for the female characters, the character growth, and the romance. But we also like the morally grey characters, the world building, and the representation of PTSD, abuse, and mental health issues. 

I’m sorry that is so tiny, but basically, we overwhelmingly dislike the lack of diversity in terms of PoC and LGBTQ character and we also have some issues with world building, magic, and seeing our favs do problematic things. 

Also 18 of your hate Celaena lol (I love her and I know that putting that answer in there as a selection was petty af but I cannot help myself. It was all for a good laugh)


Alright, so most of us feel negatively and positively about the fandom. But a solid chunk, 34%, feels positively most-all of the time. Which is great. We are doin okay friends. Only 5.5%, 14 people, felt like the fandom affected them only negatively. 

So we clearly are here for enjoyment and escapism. And pain. 

Also, I apologize for the wet dreams one but THIS FANDOM LOVES SMUT I HAD TO PUT IT ON THERE OKAY

So 70% of the ppl reading to enjoy things and find it easy to ignore the things we dislike. 


And the long answers:

Enjoyment:

Some of us really enjoy the way she writes characters—she really makes us really care with backstory and character development:

“When I finally decide to shut the book, it takes me a minute to forget that the characters aren’t real. I’ve fallen in love with almost every single one of her characters because they’re so authentic; they go through hardships, they love, they fall out of love, they get angry, they grieve deeply, but most importantly, they GROW. I’m so impressed with who Feyre and Aelin have come to be as women over the years. The familial love that bonds the characters together is also something that I really connect to. They really would do ANYTHING to protect each other.” anonymous

“She delivers types of characters and points of view that other YA writers haven’t done. She pulls of tropes without making them boring. She isn’t afraid of calling characters out for doing the wrong thing.”- @the-heir-of-terrasen

“I think SJM’s character development is her biggest strength. I haven’t connected to so many characters in a series since Harry Potter. She is good at showing rather than telling when it comes to several moments of key character building, especially for . That I am so emotionally invested in such a wide variety of characters across two series is a testament to her gift.” -anonymous

“Her use of description and narrative really is eye-opening to the world of the characters in the most subtle of ways. She knows how to wield a character’s experiences and history to cleave new paths in their personalities, and thus makes ever-changing, ever-growing characters that are so much more relatable than most other fantasy books. Not to mention that her villains are just as mysterious and wicked as her protagonists, making even the antagonists realistic to the point of you *screaming* at the book for whatever the character has done this time.“ - @cynical-minds-for-cynical-times

“The Connection to the characters. I don’t relate so much as I do just care very, very deeply about them. I LIKE them, even if they aren’t likable people?” @squaddreamcourt

We also really enjoy how morally complex the characters are:

“What I love about SJM is that she doesn’t make things prettier than they are. She has not created a perfect world, with those perfect good characters finding a perfect happy ending. Instead she created a world that has loads of problems we’re also facing in our world and she shows us how layered and well thought out characters are dealing with them. Her characters grow and the emotional impact of their deeds is not shrugged off. I love it how everything they do has consequences and how the heroes make mistakes and bad decisions and how the villains do good things sometimes. What I love is that it’s a fascinating world with fascinating characters that gives me an unique view on our world.” @acourtofhopeanddreams

“The characters are very well-rounded and dynamic. Almost every character has a motivation for what and why they’re doing what they’re doing, which is something some villains lack in other stories. You find yourself hating the characters, but still enjoying the parts that they’re in because they are so realistic in their mannerisms and motivations.” anonymous

Her books help us deal with personal issues, and we also seem to enjoy how relatable or realistic the personal relationships between the characters are:

“I feel like her books help me a lot, for one thing because they make me feel excited and enthusiastic about something which I think everyone needs more of in their life. I also love the platonic and romantic relationships between the characters because they educate me about abusive relationships, healthy relationships, and the complications of friendships etc. I love this because I feel like it helps me understand myself and the people around me better emotionally, and puts my own personal experiences with other people in perspective. I also find a lot of the things that go down between the characters help me feel more secure about my personal life, and they help me accept myself for feeling the way I do about certain things. Also, I love just love reading them because I find them really fun and enjoyable.“ - @ashryverblue

“I enjoyed the way she wove my favorite fairy tales together and wrote compelling romance. I also connected to the characters and appreciated how she prioritized female pleasure in sex.“ - @sarahviehmann

“The representation of mentally ill and abused characters and their arcs that deals with their past and their issues that isnt “love fixes everything” -anonymous

“also like how they don’t have the common ‘no body likes me because I’m ugly I’m so sad boo ho’ because I never really related to those characters. I want to read about someone who is confident in their body and with their skills, and not someone who is whiny and needs someone to hold their hand through everything.” @a-book-love

“Feyre’s struggle with abuse and PTSD in ACOMAF was relatable and her growth is inspiring. I love her relationship with Rhys and the understanding and respect they have for one another. I love Rhys and his Inner Circle - they’re funny, kind, intelligent, strong, witty etc. I like that Rhys, Mor, Az, and Cassian are abuse survivors - it gives me hope. I love how supportive they are of one another. Of course, I love the magic and world-building in the series but the characters and their relationships are what stand out to me the most in this series.” @pencilsfulloflead

And some of us are here for the drama (myself included):

“Honestly these are the most dramatic books I’ve read, which I love. My favorite thing about fanfiction is how character focused they are, all the big sweeping emotional gestures, all the angst and drama. Give me all that shit. SJM’s books give me that but with original characters/a new world/etc. which allows me new content with those same tropey, dramatic things that I love, with good writing. “ anonymous

“GOD I WISH I KNEW, I HAVE ALWAYS CONSIDERED MYSELF BEING HELD IN THIS FANDOM AGAINST MY WILL AND BETTER JUDGEMENT. I guess I’d say the characters– while I wouldn’t call them “relatable” necessarily– are engaging, and the light fantasy trappings, digestible (though not refined) prose, fast pace, exciting-if-not-necessarily-logically-sound plot twists, and heightened drama create an exciting tableau/ fertile ground for indulgent romance narratives/ heavy interpersonal dramas, which SJM does well. There’s also lots of side characters/ unexplored plot or world-related threads prime for creative exploration that make the world fun to explore as a fic writer.“ @valamerys

“The books have an element of wonder to them; my jaw was wide open during the scene in HOF when all the witches drummed for Abraxos and during the Weaver scene in ACOMAF. Aelin never fails to make me laugh, and on the flip side, her story in HOF is my absolute favorite.” @screaming-at-billiards

And finally, this little snippet that I thought explained why most of us read for the female characters:

“that the women don’t need men to be powerful”


Dislike:

So we clearly have some issues with the diversity…

“Two black girls died for white pain (Dorian/Sorscha and Aelin/Nehemia) in back to back books.”

“I would like to see more POC and LGBT characters because I feel like with the powerful messages and arcs these characters go through it would be beneficial not only to the storyline (with experiences like racism and LGBT discrimination to add to their issues and how they deal with them) but to how people read the book.”

“She messed up big time with ACOWAR and how poorly she treated Mor’s trauma.”- anonymous

“I can’t think of a general thing I dislike about Sarah’s books. I know lack of/poorly handled diversity is an issue but as a straight white female I tend to let others speak on this as I don’t feel like it’s my place to say whether or not POC/LGBTQ+ characters are represented well/enough. Other than that there are plot points, conversations, small things, etc. that I wish had gone differently but that’s my nitpicking and personal preference.” anonymous
“Primarily it’s the lack of representation and understanding of diversity, but recently with acowar I felt she became too busy and it was a bit rushed and unfinished.” @fcyrearcherxn

“Eh I wish it [descriptions of skin color] was clearer so ppl would stop drawing illiryans white” @acourtoffeyreandaelin

And some of us have issues with world building…

“Sjm seems to think about a lot of things while writing, but she doesn’t think them all the way through. For example, the magic system, the references to mythological characters/creatures from multiple cultures and smashed together, etc. I get the sense that even if she has to outline for her publisher, there is still so much that just isn’t thought about with enough attention to detail.“ @abookandacoffee


How dislike affects our reading:

Some of us are not affected by the things we dislike:

“Not at all really, if anything it just fuels fanfiction.” anonymous

“Literally not at all. Even if there are things I dislike, I still love the characters and their stories.” anonymous

“they mildly irritate me until i get over it about 4 minutes later” anonymous

“not much tbh, I just skipped that shit lol” @squaddreamcourt

Some of us were disappointed by acowar and the world building issues it raised affected our enjoyment:

“It makes me cringe when I read it, and honestly all the issues in ACOWAR made it harder for me to get into. Some illogical (even with magic in place) things in the end battle made it impossible for me to focus on the end of the book, cause I still couldn’t get over how little sense what had just happened made. Which was the opposite of ACOMAF, I couldn’t get enough of that book.” - @nightinsurgent

Some of us are negatively affected by the way SJM has handled certain issues:

It [ Mor’s trauma in acowar] honestly ruined the entire book for me and I try to pretend like the third book isn’t even canon.” -anonymous

“Sometimes it can put a downer as I’m a POC I can sometime realise I can’t fully relate to all characters but usually i brush it off as I realise that all books have faults.”-anonymous

And some of us feel guilty for enjoying these books despite the issues:

“I have at times (particularly after major online discussions) felt guilty for taking pleasure from something that hurt another person’s feelings.“- anonymous 


How the fandom affects our enjoyment:

Some of us love the fandom and how it leads to deeper understandings of the story:

“I LOVE fandom. It makes me feel like I’m part of something and that I have people who are there for me. It also gives me new ways of obsessing about the series, and I love seeing other people’s interpretations and feelings about the books, especially when they point out things that I haven’t noticed before. It just gives me a deeper, richer reading experience and it’s like I’m always partly in the world of the books, because I’m always thinking about them and in that sense they never really leave me and are always a part of me.“ @ashryverblue

“WE RIDE AND DIE TOGETHER SO NOTHING IS TOO PAINFUL WHEN YOU HAVE EACH OTHER” -anonymous

For some of us, fandom really affects how we enjoy the books and how we think about certain aspects and characters:

“I’ve always been a critical reader but I wonder if I didn’t have a medium to see, read, and interact with my criticisms that I would let them go easier.”- anonymous

“I can mostly ignore it but sometimes it makes me feel shame for liking the books as much as I do. I also can get past it because I think some people are way to harsh and expect perfect characters which is not what I’m here for. Also, even if improvement in terms of representation is slow at least sjm has made some changes which is something most authors would never do.”-anonymous

“I get to see both sides of all the arguments and my own opinions are sometimes changed based on an argument someone might present considering any topic, which expands my horizons and makes it more enjoyable for me.” @angrydinosauryouth

“I don’t think I would care about Suriel’s death so much if it wasn’t for this fandom who made him a drama loving queen. Things like that” @jmaas-books-lover

We are disappointed with the fandom recently:

“At first I loved how we were all interacting, but the fandom has grown so negative and condemning of any differing opinions. I don’t mean people being called out others for saying abusive characters are not abusive, but people seem to go to war over inconsequential opinions that don’t harm anyone.” @nightinsurgent

“The ACOTAR fandom in particular used to be really lovely and amazing, and there are still groups with whom that is still true. Everyone let people think about and enjoy what they wanted as long as we weren’t perpetuating or justifying abuse, and it was a very supportive environment. It’s less so, now, and people are defending the text just to defend it, which is frustrating to me both as a fic writer AND a reader.” @sarahviehmann

“What gets at me is the clouds of negativity… And it seems really  hard to avoid sometimes, especially in such a small fandom. And when a few vocal members, who otherwise make good stuff, get very negative it gets worse…”

Some of us love the books despite what the fandom has to say:

“The fandom itself doesn’t affect my love of the books, I make my own opinions about them. But the fandom is severely affecting my enjoyment of being a part of the fandom.” @miladyaelin

Some of us enjoy parts of the fandom, but have serious issues with how the fandom reacts negatively to certain aspects of the books:

“Parts of the fandom really make me happy and allow me to discuss my thoughts and feelings about the books. There’s an amazing community of people. But there is a huge part of the fandom which really, really negatively affects my experience through heavy, harsh, and often unnecessary criticism. That’s not to say that we shouldn’t be critical and shouldn’t discuss the issues in her books, but there’s almost a frenzy about it now to the point where those of us who enjoy her books are made to feel bad about it. Yes, she has problems. But there has been significant improvements that no one seems to want to acknowledge. The second something new is released it’s torn into shreds and if you have a different opinion then you’re wrong. (For example, how Morrigan’s coming out was handled. Everyone has been saying how bad it was and how Sarah really messed it up, but I’m bisexual and I now really relate to Mor and the way she came out and her reasoning for not doing so before was incredibly real and believable to me. It seems that a lot of the people (though obviously not all) who criticise the lack of diversity in SJM’s books aren’t actually diverse themselves and are just on some sort of crusade to make themselves look like better people.) Why can’t some of us just enjoy a book for what it’s worth?” anonymous

Number 1 Fan

Request: Can you do one where the reader is the number one crime boss/villain and Jerome admires her so much that he follows them around until he gets caught. Maybe they become partners, he gets jealous and stuff, and it has a pretty happy ending.

Smut warning

———–

(Y/n) POV:

“Move it into the van boys! Don’t leave a dime!” I laugh as my henchmen load the bags of money. “Ohh this is gonna make me the richest woman on the planet!” I say joyfully spinning around.

“Hey boss! We got company! We got to hurry up!” I turn my attention to the banks to see them being scoped up and down by the GCPD. “I’ve got this boys. Just get the bags in there and don’t leave me like last time. If that’s done then you’ll all be dead! Understand?” “Yes ma'am!” They yell in attention.

I smile and stroll into the bank making my presence know to the cops. “Hello hello hello! How ya doing boys? Good I hope! Harvey! How’s the drinking problem? John! The kids doing good? Mollys rash ever clear up? That thing was nasty! Ah and Jimbo! How’s the air in your big fat head? Still clean I hope!” I giggle walking along the counter tops making fun.

I walk to the indoor flag pole and look up to see the open sky light. “Enough of your chit chat!” “Aww! But I was getting to the good part! Ya see. My self esteem has been kinda low lately. So I was wondering if I could show you guys a magic trick. You know the saying what goes up must always come down? Well how about what is down must go up? Any takers? No? Well fine I guess I’ll test it!” I kick the latch of the pole ties and it flings me up into the air to where I’m flying out of the sky light. “See ya around dumbass’!” I laugh as I exit through the roof.

I hop onto the top of the van and hit it twice. “Go you idiots!” They drive at 90 mph to my place and as soon as we get there they start unloading the bags into the room matching the others.

“Drink m’lady?” My butler asks as I enter the door. I smile at him and take the blue drink. “Thank you David. Any news for today?” I ask as I go to the living room. “Crime rates are as high as ever thanks to you miss. Fan basis is at it’s highest. Little girls are wanting to buy anything related to you!” I smile and look out the big window to Gotham. “Wonderful! Get Samantha for me will you?” “Yes miss.”

In seconds my maid comes running in. “Yes miss?” “Care to run me a bath? Crystals, and lavender soap as always.” I say sipping my drink. “Yes of course m’lady.” She bows to me and scurried off to the bathroom.

“Your bath is drawn m’lady.” I wave my hand away and make my way up to the large scale bathroom. The tub itself can fit 4. I strip myself of my clothes and sink into the relaxing water filled with soap and moisturizers.

My personal line begins to ring bringing my attention away from my thoughts. “Hello?” I ask into the old fashioned telephone. “Darling! It’s so good to hear your voice!” “Mom. Hey how are you?” I ask with a smile on my face. “Oh just find. Yourself?” “Just fine.” My mother scoffs into the phone. “What?” “Just fine? Come on darling! No drama? Men? Nothing?” “Mom. We’ve discussed this. I’m far to busy with business.” “Oh don’t play that game! A beautiful 17 year old woman like you is a the top of the world right now! You can have some fun!” “Business is fun.” “But doing business alone isn’t. Don’t you want to share that with someone?”

I sigh into the phone and sink further into the water. “Fine. Yes it’d be nice to have someone along, but I’ve tried the whole partner thing. It didn’t work! He was to slow! Couldn’t keep up. I need someone exciting! Someone to make me laugh, but still keep success rates at high!”

My mother laughs into the phone. “You sound so much like your father. Do me a favor darling. Put on a sexy dress, go to a club, and meet a man. Plenty will show if they hear the most feared woman in Gotham is coming. They’ll be trying to impress you left and right! Promise me you’ll give it a shot?” I sigh and smile. “Yes mother.” “Good baby! Call me tomorrow love! Goodnight!” “Goodnight mom.”

I hang up the phone and ring the bell for Samantha to enter. “Yes m’lady?” “Lay out a dress along with pumps, call a driver, and make sure the owner of Flaims knows I’m coming to have a fun night.” “Fantastic choice! I’ll be right on it!”

I step out of the tub and wrap a towel around myself drying my body. I walk into my room to see my favorite dress set out. “Oh Samantha how you read me well.” I drop the towel and get into my makeup and hair. A nice clean sexy eye with a simple puff to my lush (h/c) hair ties it all together.

I walk down to the door and David opens it for me. “Shall I stay awake to let you in?” “You know what? No. Have the rest of the night off! You too Samantha! I’ll see you both here tomorrow morning!” “Of course! Shall I make breakfast for two?” David says with a smirk. “We shall see.” I say skipping out and into the car.

I arrive at the club to see the best types of people there. The crazy ones. I step out of the car and immediately get howled at. “Hey baby! Wanna test me out? I can make a good girl into a bad bitch!” I roll my eyes and continue my way inside.

I see many cute men scattered about but non that immediately catch my eye. I’m not going to work for them. They’re going to come to me. That’s what mom always taught me.


I order my favorite drink and scroll through my phone enjoying the night out. “Well well well. Lookie here! Never thought I’d see you in the flesh.” I removed my eyes from my screen to see a well known criminal. “Do my eyes deceive me or is it Jerome Valeska?”

The red head leans up against the booth with a stretched out smile. “So you’ve heard of me?” “Well a new rising villain appears and we all want to know more. Have to keep tabs on you. Been out of the limelight for a while now.” “Well ya know. Been dead for about a year. No big deal.” I laugh and scoot for him to join me.

He can make me laugh

We talk for hours, laugh for hours, he had me smiling for hours.

“I’ve got to say. I’m a big fan. My favorite crime scene is when you hung your victim from the center of the hotel. Burnt fingerprints and face! DNA unrecognizable! Never figured out who the victim was.” I place my hand over my head. “Aww Jerome! That’s so sweet! No one’s ever kept up with a case like that before! Well except for those cops. Care to know who it was?” He leans in dazzled. “A bartender who got my drink wrong.” I shrug. “Fantastic! It’s all just fun and games anyway! If they don’t play by the rules they shouldn’t have been in the game to begin with!” “Exactly!”

I laugh and look at the time. “Past your bedtime princess?” I smirk at him and lean into him feeling the full effects of the alcohol take over. “No. Usually it’s time for someone to help me wake up. If you understand what I mean.” I smirk and toy with his fingers.

“Ohh any choices yet? Will I have to fight my way through them to get my shot?” I move my fingers to his shirt and pop one of the buttons open. “I think you have a pretty good shot already.” I smirk and stand up walking and swishing my hips for his pleasure. “Then what are we waiting for hm?” He growls in my ear biting it lightly.

Jerome opens my door for me and lets me in. My driver says no words but does raise the black window for some privacy.

I bring my lips to his in a rush for lust and passion. “Oh you’re bad.” He breathes and run his hand down my body to between my legs. “Make me worse.” I moan into his lips.

Jerome pushes my panties to the side and pushes one finger inside my pussy swerling my insides to make my body rock. “Someone’s wet babydoll. Care to tell me who that’s for?” Jerome asks adding another finger and pushing them in and out. “You’ve got to earn me screaming your name. Do that and you can do whatever you want.” I moan as he pumps his fingers faster.

I toss my head back moaning out. Jerome then attaches his lips to my neck sucking a visible mark. “Marking what’s mine.” I laugh and straddle him. “You’ve got to take it first.” I say out of breath.

The car stops and the driver lowers the black window. “We have arrived m’lady.” Jerome smiles and opens the door for me grabbing my ass as I get out. “Hm about time.” He says gripping my body in lust.

We quickly open the door and waste no time rushing to the bedroom. Jerome closes the door with me against it and strips me of my dress. “Oh a true beauty below the soft cloth you are!” He moans. I strip him of his shirt and pants and he attacks my lips the moment we’re both rid of clothing.

He lifts me against the door and rubs the tip of his cock up and down my slit coating himself with my juices.

He pushes in making my head hit the door in pleasure. “You’re so tight doll.” Jerome thrusts up into me causing me so much pleasure. He moved us to the bed and flips me over to my stomach.

He pushes himself back into my tight cunt and pounds me harder. “What’s my name doll? Scream it! Who’s filling your tight pussy?” Jerome grips my hair in a ponytail and pulls it back making my mouth open and loud moans to come out. “Jerome! Oh my god!” I scream and cum without warning. “That’s it baby!” He says and fills me up. He pulls out of me and rubs his hands up my back to my shoulders.

Jerome sets me on the bed and covers me up along with himself beside me. He brings me to his chest and kisses my head. “I have a proposal.” I say looking at him. “Hm I know I’m great but we just met doll face.” “Oh hush you big dumby! What I mean is be my partner in crime!” “King and Queen of Gotham.” He smirks at the thought rolling through his mind. “Seal the deal with a kiss.” I say with bright eyes. “Gladly baby.” He kisses me and kisses down my neck to make another mark. “Mine. My queen.”

Originally posted by sensualkisses

In honor of Valentine's Day, I thought I'd recommend my top ten favorite romance anime.

1) NANA

A frank depiction of the love/sex life of a woman in her twenties, this anime follows badass, chain-smoking, aspiring punk rocker Nana, and her clumsy, feminine roommate of the same name as they struggle to find a meaningful connection with someone in the big city, and also find themselves. Features the struggle of love vs. career, the consequences of giving your heart (and body) to the wrong person, the difficulties of long-distance relationships, and the joy and pain of living on your own. 

Warning: depicts sex, drinking, smoking, domestic violence, and a male prostitute character. Not a show for kids or anyone uncomfortable with these subjects. 

2) Peach Girl

Teenage protagonist Momo takes absolutely zero shit from the characters around her, be it her love interests or her female rivals. That’s one of the reasons I love this series. It’s got an insanely complex and dramatic plot with a million twists and turns that would be impossible to explain concisely here, but the basics are this: Momo’s years on the swim team have bleached her hair and tanned her skin, making her think her crush, Toji, will never be attracted to her and the rest of the school think she’s a Barbie-copycat bimbo. Her “friend”, Sae, bullies her constantly, and her one actual friend, Kairi, is a perverted knucklehead who she can’t quite figure out her feelings for. How can she survive the minefield of rumors, miscommunications, and mean girls that is high school?

3) Suzuka

This anime is unusual in that it’s a love story (not a harem and/or ecchi series) told from the perspective of a teenage boy. Yamato falls in love at first sight with the beautiful Suzuka when he sees her practicing her high jump, and summarily joins the track team in an attempt to impress her. It….doesn’t work, at least not at first, but Yamato vows to keep trying, because she’s the only one for him. Yamato and Suzuka are also hilariously tsundere to each other and manage to say the exact worst thing at least a dozen times. XD But, there’s also a lot of real drama here that will hit you right in the feels. 

4) Uta no Prince-sama

This admittedly cheesy reverse-harem anime follows young Nanami’s quest to write songs worthy of the seven handsome musicians she attends performing arts school with, in hopes that one day they can all debut as idols together. Many of her scenes with these boys are incredibly romantic, despite the fact that not one of them actually kisses her in the entirety of the two currently available seasons. -_- This series is full of awesome J-Pop, beautifully animated bishies, and far more heart than you’d expect.

5) Kamigami no Asobi

Revolving around a mortal woman named Yui who is spirited away to an extradimensional island and commanded by Zeus to teach the value of humanity and love to gods from Greek, Norse, Japanese, and Egyptian mythology, this reverse-harem series starts out cute and fluffy and then heads right into Feels-and-Yandere Land with no goddam warning. It also has copious amounts of manservice. ;) I highly recommend it! 

6) B Gata H Kei

An extremely frank depiction of high-school sexuality that’s also over-the-top comedy, this anime tells the story of horny teenager Yamada, whose dreams of having casual, anonymous sex with as many boys as she can get her hands on (a total 180 from the usual blushing, innocent shoujo heroine). But, every sexually liberated woman has to start somewhere, and so Yamada chooses naive, awkward gentleman Kosuda (what a role reversal!) to be her first sexual experience. But, seducing him proves much harder than she initially imagined, because he’s the most oblivious boy on the planet! This series bravely features scenes other anime would consider taboo, like shopping for condoms and visiting a love hotel.  It’s also one of the funniest comedies I’ve ever watched.

Warning: contains nudity and arguably “ecchi” scenes. 

7) Fruits Basket

A shoujo classic suitable for any age group, this anime tells the heartwarming tale of how unfailingly optimistic orphan Tohru heals the emotional wounds of a beautiful but broken clan of cursed shapeshifters. 

8) AnoHana

You’ll bawl your eyes out over the tragic love between emotionally stunted Jintan and the ghost of his childhood friend, Menma, who he was never able to confess his true feelings for (and the unrequited-ish love of his other friend, Anaru, who still lives, but wonders if she can ever compete with Menma’s memory). 

9) Ouran High School Host Club

Another classic, this anime tells an unconventional but unforgettable love story about a blue-collar, arguably non-binary teen and the ultrarich, clueless coterie of boys who she forms a host club with. It’s half parodying comedy, half feelsy drama, and all awesome!

10) Princess Jellyfish

Tsukimi is an agoraphobic, extremely socially anxious, awkward, nerdy NEET girl with a bizzarre obsession with jellyfish. Kuranosuke is a rich, extroverted drag queen. You wouldn’t think they’d fall in love, but they do, and it’s one of those stories you just need to see. 

I definitely reccomend all ten of these anime to anyone!! Have a wonderful Valentine’s Day, followers!!

-The Most Interesting Stories Aren’t Always Action-

Here​ ​is​ ​a​ ​list​ ​of​ ​a​ ​few​ ​of​ ​my​ ​favorite​ ​engaging​ ​stories​ ​with​ ​a​ ​little​ ​less​ ​action.


Shouwa​ ​Genroku​ ​Rakugo​ ​Shinju​​ ​​-Drama- Shouwa​ ​Genroku​ ​Rakugo​ ​Shinju​ ​keeps​ ​me​ ​so​ ​invested​ ​in​ ​the​ ​story​ ​at​ ​all​ ​time,​ ​with​ ​loveable characters,​ ​just​ ​enough​ ​drama,​ ​great​ ​music,​ ​and​ ​well​ ​directed​ ​scenes,​ ​it​ ​proves​ ​it​ ​doesn’t​ ​take an​ ​action​ ​packed​ ​fight​ ​to​ ​make​ ​your​ ​heart​ ​race.


Sakamichi No Apollon -Drama-
Maybe my opinion is slightly biased because of my love for jazz, but the way sakamichi no apollon explores romance, music, and the everyday drama and lives of these characters, had me hooked from episode one.


Beast Player Erin -Fantasy-
Now technically there is a bit of action in this series. BUT I would argue that the majority of the series is a coming of age/political story, with love both familial and romantic, and a touching story about the relationship between a girl and a magical beast, i’d say it’s worth a watch.


Mushi-shi -Fantasy-
Mushi-shi is a great story for those who enjoy the feeling of exploring in a world of fantasy. As it follows a man wandering the world following rumors of possible mushi, and helping others, you’ll find yourself sucked deep into a well built fantasy world with background music that you only WISH you had IRL.


Ristorante Paradiso -Romance-
This one is a little different from most others on this list, the story revolves around a woman off to find her mother and the man she left to marry. She finds herself uprooting into a new life working in the strange restaurant her mother and secret stepfather run, making friends, and falling in love, all the while no one knows she’s even her daughter.


House Of Five Leaves -historical drama-
This show has great characters and unique art and atmosphere that set it apart from other shows instantly. And if you’ve ever wondered “what would a show about samurai be like without all the actiony fights all the time?” this show answers that question.


Sora No Woto -Military-
Though it’s a military show, it rarely ever has all that much action. The show IMO focuses a lot on themes of hope in times of war, showing how it affects the people involved. It also focuses a lot on characters overcoming their problems and building relationships with one another in a kind of bittersweet way.


Hozuki no reitetsu -Comedy-
It felt to me like a good idea to throw in a nice comedy at the end of a list with so many bittersweet titles. Hoozuki focuses on “life” and Business in hell, with a dark and sometimes dry adult sense of humor, in a strange slice of life setting i found this show to be an enjoyable and a relaxing watch.

justanotherhamiltrash  asked:

Hi there, do you have any recs for long drarry fics? I'm not very good at finding them

Hello!! I’ve done a rec list for long, slow burn fics in the past, so please check that out because I love every fic on that list to death! But OH MAN I could talk about long Drarry fics for the rest of my life, so here are some more! All very long, but not necessarily slow burn this time ;)

What We Pretend We Can’t See by gyzym (131K)- Seven years out from the war, Harry learns the hard truth of old history: it’s never quite as far behind you as you thought.
This is the only one I am going to copy from the slow burn rec list, because I just want to rec it every day of my life. It is quite literally my number one favorite fic ever, and I am not exaggerating. Do you see how serious I am right now? I am never serious. This fic is so amazing it turned me serious. I’m not even going to summarize it again because if you trust me at all you will just go read it nooooooow.

Turn by Saras_Girl (307K)- One good turn always deserves another. Apparently. 
Of course in the middle of declaring my favorite fic ever, I had to remember Turn and how utterly brilliant it is and how I’ve reread it and it was STILL utterly brilliant the second time and have a crisis because MAYBE THIS IS ACTUALLY MY FAVORITE FIC???! Aaah help, I can never choose! Anyway, are you a drarry fan who hasn’t read Turn yet? Really? Well, in that case FUCK YOU BECAUSE I AM SO JEALOUS YOU GET TO READ IT FOR THE FIRST TIME YOU LUCKY BASTARD. *ahem* Anyway, in this amazing fic, epilogue-compliant and worn-down Harry goes to an alternate dimension in which he is happily married to Draco, owns the best pet snake ever, and makes furniture for a living (love artsy Harry <3). It’s truly a masterpiece, and as always with my recs there is a happy ending, so don’t worry!

Tales from the Special Branch Series by femmequixotic (272K so far)- (Summary is from the second part of the series, which is the first long installment: Lost in Your ArmsThree months after their brief encounter, Draco has almost forgotten about Potter–or so he tells himself. Then a Dark wizard shows up on the Auror radar and all hell breaks loose. Draco will have to choose between everything he holds dear–everything he’s worked so hard for–and a few stolen moments of passion with a certain green-eyed Inspector, once his sworn enemy and now something rather different entirely. He’ll make the right choice, won’t he? Who is he kidding? He’ll ruin everything, as per usual. Bad choices and the name Malfoy go hand in hand.
This series is a WIP, but a regularly updated one and the FIRST CHAPTER OF THE NEXT BOOK IS BEING RELEASED TOMORROW AND I AM SO EXCITED!!! I feel so lucky to be following along with it as it comes out, because let me tell you, this is an instant classic! There is lovely forbidden fornication between a boss (Harry) and his subordinate (Draco) (the prequel was written for the kink fest so you can bet the sex is SCORCHING), a very compelling mystery/case, and truly brilliant characterization! I identify so much with this Draco. And I also love that Harry isn’t the perfect flawless cinnamon roll he is often portrayed as in fics. Everyone in this series is very human, and I am just dying of excitement to find out what happens to them next! I know I’ve already gushed about this fic in several other places recently, and I’m sorry to repeat myself but I really can’t get enough! PLEASE JOIN ME IN ROOTING FOR @femmequixotic AS SHE KINDLY DEDICATES HER SOUL TO US ALL FOR THE NEXT BIT OF HER LIFE <3

Secrets by Vorabiza (395K)- Beginning with Draco’s unexpected arrival at the Dursleys, Harry’s summer after sixth year becomes filled with activity and many secrets. As his summer progresses, Harry generates several unexpected allies as he finds himself actively becoming the leader of the Light side. 
OMG it’s the first fic I ever read!! The fic that brought me into the fandom! I have suuuuuch a soft spot for this fic, and it is just so so so good! It’s probably my favorite adventure/wizarding war plot of all. Harry is just so confident and he embraces his Slytherin side and really Gets Shit Done, and it’s SO SATISFYING. Also, I love any fic in which Draco helps with the Horcrux hunt. Also there’s a baaaaaaby (no mpreg) and mentor!Snape, which is really nice. This fic was written post-HBP, but is SURPRISINGLY accurate in its predictions. Oh, and the sex is super hot too ;)

Checkmate by Naadi (245K)- Draco has the perfect plan to get Harry Potter and challenges him to a game of Dare Chess. But is it love, or betrayal, he has in mind? A real chess game is played throughout the story.
This fic is so lovely! It’s an “alternate 7th year AU”, written after Goblet of Fire. It’s fluffy and funny and lovey and then dramatic and passionate and YEAH I LOVED IT. The real time game of chess, in which Harry and Draco take turns making “moves” (on each other) is just such a wonderful idea. Read the author’s note for more info! 

Leo Inter Serpentes by Aeternum (658K combined so far)- Just one conversation between two eleven year old boys goes slightly differently, and the world changes. Just how much will be different with Harry being sorted into Slytherin, and how much will stay the same?
SLYTHERIN HARRY ALERT SLYTHERIN HARRY ALERT! Yep, a Slytherin Harry rewrite, and a REALLY GOOD ONE. Like usually I love the idea of Slytherin Harry, and then once I start reading I either find I’m bored because everything is just a repeat of canon or I can’t get into it because everyone is so OOC. But not this one! This fic is engaging and different enough from canon to be interesting and I love the eleven-year-old baby drarry friendship that eventually turns to romance! This fic also features benevolent mentor!Snape, which I suppose is either an enticement or a warning depending on your preferences. You SHOULD be warned that it’s a WIP. But the author is currently actively posting the 6th book, and I have hope it won’t be abandoned :)

Any Instrument by dicta_contrion (131K)- Draco Malfoy wouldn’t go back to England for anything less than an exceptional case. Being asked to figure out why Harry Potter can’t control his magic might be exceptional enough to qualify.
Okay I have a HUGE thing for healer!draco and this fic portrayed him so so so perfectly. Harry is having complications with his magic after an operation gone wrong. So Draco comes from France and of course they can’t get together because Draco is Harry’s healer but OMG THE UST and then let me just say that when they finally do have sex, it’s the most beautiful, moving, heart-stopping sex scene you will ever read. Like, I felt it in my soul. And the character development is so compelling and there are literally no flaws in this fic whatsoever.

Starts With a Spin by Maxine (120K)- It started with the spin of a bottle, and now Harry and Draco have gotten themselves so far into their own game there’s almost no way out again. Except to keep playing.
AAAAH this fic has all the teenage drarry feels! They’re so in character, always trying to one-up each other! And like these constant party games are happening and they’re being “forced” to go further and further with each other by their friends until they’re actually having sex, and YET THEN THE WAR IS STILL ON AS WELL, and it’s just super well-written and great! Another classic :D

Changing of the Guard by Lomonaaeren (210K)- Need a perfect stranger? Ask Metamorphosis. Harry Potter runs the business secretly and becomes whoever’s needed for each occasion. He’s not sure whether he should be more surprised, worried, or amused when Draco Malfoy comes to Metamorphosis and requests an actor who can play his boyfriend so that his parents will disown him. Yet Harry has even more dangerous choices after he creates Brian, Draco’s “perfect” boyfriend. Draco doesn’t know who Brian is, but he’s trying to find out—and now so is Harry.
Aaah Lomonaaeren! Drarry writer of my dark, dark heart! And yet I know some people aren’t huge fans of her style and I don’t want to be reccing her fics all the time, so I try to keep the Lomon recs relatively infrequent. But if you are looking for long fics and you do like her style, I’m pretty sure she can keep you busy for like an entire year. This woman is more prolific than Steven King, and it’s a true blessing. As for this particular fic, Harry basically has Dissociative Identity Disorder, but he has been making the most of it by running a whoever-you-need-for-hire business. Only then Draco arrives, and Harry’s world had to come crashing down at some point and that point is NOW, and the drama is just so so good and this fic gave me ALL THE FEELS. It’s possibly my favorite of her fics :)

screaminghyuk  asked:

hi mom your blog is my favourite on tumblr i love your writing so SO much!! if and when you have the time can you do the neighbour au for vixx? if it's too much then the maknae line will do (i've read all of your stuff multiple times over + you're the reason im into seventeen and got7 ily) thank you in advance!!

omg this is so sweet thank you so much!!
im glad you’ve come to love 17+got7!!!

Ravi 

  • sometimes he doesn’t leave his apartment for days. you can tell because his mailbox overflows but you can hear the music from his apartment for like a week straight,,,,,,,and then sometimes you’ll see him leaving his place at like 3 am dressed like he’s going to a Very Fancy club 
  • “it’s the life of a composer,,,,,,,i don’t sleep for like ever and when i finish i have to go and get drunk with the person who paid me to write the song”
  • his apartment is essentially his recording studio, all the instruments and his computer are in the living room and it’s so crowded he bumps into his piano everytime he tries to get to the kitchen
  • likes collecting those little lego figurines and they’re like everywhere. on his computer, above his microwave, probably in his bathroom near his shampoo
  • wears some,,,,,,,,interesting outfits that always become the talk of the block
  • likes to try and keep everything clean but at some point he’s so into work he doesn’t realize he’s spilled cola under his desk chair and the laundry hasn’t been done since hyuk got a solo i mean what now
  • you know ravi is a composer,,,,but you aren’t really sure what that entails
  • until your best friend hakyeon, who happens to be close to ravi is over at your place and is handing a list that is titled “how to keep ravi alive” and you’re like what
  • and hakyeon is like,,,,im going on a trip to europe for a month and usually i check in on ravi when he writes but i won’t be here and everyone is busy and i need to make sure he at least eats something,,,,but i can’t so please,,,,,,,,,,,,,,do this for me
  • and you wanted to refuse at first because you don’t even know ravi
  • but hakyeon is a sweet person and he promises he’ll come back with something nice from europe for you so you decide fine, how hard can it be to just check up on a person
  • TURNS OUT when it’s ravi it is kind of hard
  • because the first day you literally come into his home and try to introduce yourself 4 times before you realize he’s so sucked into his computer he can’t even hear you
  • you check his fridge and there’s just,,,,,some old wine and like???? take out that smells Suspicious
  • and you throw it out and come out of the kitchen to tell ravi he needs to eat but then he looks up at you and screams because hOw DID you gET in here,,,,,and you’re like IVE BEEN HERE FOR HALF AN HOUR and ravi is like?????? i never noticed
  • but he apologizes as soon as you explain what hakyeon told you and he’s like embarrassingly rubbing his neck like,,,,oh don’t listen to hyung im fine on my own
  • but you think about his refrigerator and how sunken-in his eyes look from probably not having sleep and you’re like ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,no i think hakyeon was right you need someones help
  • so you grocery shop and you buy coffee, red bull, energy supplements - whatever he needs to stay up
  • and hakyeon is only gone for a month but in that month you get to know ravi better than most people
  • how he works tirelessly, day and night, on 5 seconds of a song. how he gets angry with himself for not being able to write a melody. how he refuses to sleep until he’s met his goal
  • and the perseverance and creativity in him really shocks you because wow,,,,you’ve been living next to such a hard-working and talented person and you never even knew it
  • but also ravi you’ve worn those basketball shorts 4 days in a row take them off please
  • at one point you asked if ravi had brushed his teeth and he said something you couldn’t even understand so you went to the bathroom, came back with his brush and a cup of water and were like “open up”
  • and ravi was like ????? and you were like “ill brush your teeth while you work”
  • and it was,,,,,,,,,,oddly very intimate
  • and ravi may or may not have suffered like (3) mini heart-attacks
  • but when hakyeon comes back and ravi is done with his song you revert back to being,,,,,,just neighbors
  • until ravi needs to shut himself in for work again and you get a call from hakyeon where he’s like “you need to know something, ive been trying to make sure ravi is ok this past week but he keeps calling me by your name and when i tell him hello - im hakyeon he lets out a deep sigh and long story short i think ravi grew an attachment to you”
  • and you’re like??????? me????? but also,,,,,,,,you can’t help but smile a little
  • and you go next door and let yourself in and you’re like “ravi?” and you see he’s asleep with his head on his desk and you go over to get a blanket to cover him with but when you do, tucking it around his shoulders
  • you hear him murmur something low and you lean in closer and hear him say thank you along with your name
  • and when you come back to check on him again in a couple hours he’s awake and seeing you, it makes him actually stand up from his computer (something he does not do often when he works)
  • and he’s glowing, his sharp features all turning soft as he sees you
  • and you’re like “hakyeon told me you missed me” and ravi is like “AH,,,,well,,,,,,,kind of,,,,,i just,,,hakyeon nags at me and you were nice to me-”
  • and you get this smug look on your face and ravi is faltering under it and you’re like “here i brought some fruits over for you to snack on, but also -”
  • and you press a paper slip into his palm and ravi’s eyes widen and you’re like “it’s my number, so you can call me instead of hakyeon”
  • and you don’t see it as you go into the kitchen with the fruit but ravi literally gathers what little energy he has to do a little happy shimmy dance
  • and he tapes your number to the side of his computer screen and whenever he looks at it he gets this goofy grin on his face,,,,,,,,,because hehe,,,,,,,i have my crush’s number,,,,,

Hongbin 

  • only person in vixx who makes his bed in the morning 
  • lives a pretty simple and clean life, likes consistency and has one of those big calendars on his wall where he writes down all his future plans and probably even has like a workout schedule
  • park hyo shin album shrine in his bedroom complete with framed autograph
  • the type to have like candles ,,,,,,, that are in the shapes of like flowers it’s cute
  • bunnies have always reminded me of hongbin so maybe if he lived apart from vixx he’d have one that he jokingly names like wonshik but no no it’s real name is something cute like whatever the korean is for like carrot soup or something LOL
  • idk why but he likes pastel polka dots imagine him with pastel polka dot bed sheets he’s such a cute person
  • people are always surprised that he doesn’t have like,,,,,one billion mirrors in his house because like how can one Not look at a face like that
  • but in reality those kind of things make hongbin really shy,,,,,,like he’s just like,,,,im not handsome and everyone in the building is like IF that isn’t the biggest lie i have Ever heard with my own two ears
  • everyone in the neighborhood has a crush on him. it’s unavoidable. it’s hongbin fever
  • you’ve lived next door to him for a longtime so you guys are pretty familiar with each other,,,,,but the problem is everytime he meets one of your friends. they fall for him
  • and end up begging to come over just for a glimpse of him and then when they try to ask him out
  • hongbin awkwardly like ,,,,makes up an excuse as to why he can’t date them and they get sad and you’ve seen this happen five times and you’re just like ?????????? what is his type ????? what is he looking for???
  • but you’re not gonna ask him that because well like That’s Rude 
  • but one night you actually end up over at his place because your tv broke,,,,and the premire of your favorite drama is on and hongbin was kind enough to let you in to watch it
  • and during a long commercial break you look down to see hongbin sitting at the table, writing down something and you decide that hey you’ll never have another chance to be alone like this with him
  • so you lower the volume a bit and you’re like “can i ask you something?”
  • and he nods without looking up and you’re like,,,,,, “ive lived across from you for like four years and ive never seen you,,,,,,,with someone,,,,that wasn’t from your friend group and this is probably super invasive but - are you seeing someone?”
  • and hongbin’s eyes go wide and he like looks up in silence
  • and you’re like “,,,,,,is it like an arranged marriage thing????? am i asking too much this is rude im sor-”
  • and hongbin shakes his head and is like “no,,,,,i just,,,,,,,,,” and you’re like ?????? and he kind of sadly laughs
  • and is like “,,,,,the person i like hasn’t come to a realization yet.”
  • and you’re shocked because hongbin. prince of your neighborhood. actual living art is harboring a one-sided love????
  • and you can’t help yourself you’re like “who is that blind? i mean,,,,,,,,anyone who looks at you is enchanted”
  • and hongbin laughs because that’s what he does. compliments make him shy
  • but then you go back to watching your drama and you don’t notice hongbin has stopped writing and suddenly you hear in a very quiet voice: “were you,,,,,,enchanted by me?”
  • and you look down at him and you’re like “are you asking if i liked you?”
  • and hongbin swallows a lump in his throat but builds up the courage to nod his head and you’re like “of course,,,,,,but i knew it was a longshot i mean ,,,,,,,,do you know how popular you are? it’s like falling for an idol-”
  • but suddenly hongbin is up and he’s like “don’t say that.” and you’re like is he embarrassed??????whats going on??????
  • but he just takes a seat next to you and he’s like “it’s you,,,,you’re the one i wanted to confess to me.”
  • and you’re so shocked,,,,,,you literally drop the remote and hongbin is getting red the longer you stare at him wide-eyed
  • until you’re like looking over at the tv and the drama is a kissing scene and then you look back at hongbin and you’re red now too
  • and you’re both red and there’s kissing in the background but you know what there should be some kissing in this apartment too
  • because you both like each other so why not
  • but when you do kiss him you’re like wait. wait. is this real did i fever dream this-
  • and hongbin takes your hand and puts it on his face and he’s like “it’s real.”

Hyuk

  • big tall meme 
  • who can’t figure out how to cook a meal for himself but can reboot a computer and probably fix your tv in less than ten minutes
  • for the sake of this au,,,,hyuk is Nerd. as in his whole apartment is full of like action figures and comic books and video games and dirty socks and,,,,,half eaten bags of potato chips, opened cans of redbull
  • your usual college boy whose friends are all part of the e-sports club at school like c’mon
  • of course how could i forget, his movie collection of sci-fi alien flicks is the only thing that’s organized on his bookshelf
  • everyone in the building comes to him for help like the ladies need help with their broken microwaves and hairdryers while the dads don’t get why their son managed to break the new computer (hyuk looking at the sticky keyboard: uh,,,,)
  • and he does it for free for elders but the teenagers who go to him to learn how to game or upgrade their setups he’s like “my work isn’t cheap. 20 bucks an hour on nothing.”
  • hakyeon: stop pandering from teenagers
  • hyuk: ,,,,,,i have no idea what you are talking about *hiding his piggy bank which literally says ‘money from gamer nerdz’ jokes jokes
  • you know hyuk is handy with,,,,,electric stuff and whatnot so when your lights go out in the middle of the night even though you paid all your utilities like last week,,,,you know the man to go to
  • and when hyuk opens the door you’re like “whats up, my lights are out and im not sure if it’s a fuse box thing or -”
  • and hyuk is like “i got you let me come over”
  • but as you’re walking through the hall of your apartment you realize, you don’t have a flashlight and you’re like my phone is somewhere on my sofa,,,,,let me fell around
  • but you have literally zero light and it’s night out and you think you’re heading toward your sofa but you feel something soft standing in your way
  • and you’re like touching it and you’re like it’s soft,,,,but hard???
  • and warm????
  • wait is that t-shirt
  • and you’re like hold up
  • “hyuk??? am i touching you????”
  • hyuk: “yep”
  • you: “why didn’t you stop me what th-”
  • hyuk: “it was fine, i liked it.”
  • and you turn pink, thankful for the lights off and want to swat his hand but you don’t know where that is until you feel his hand take your wrist
  • and he takes his phone out of his pocket and shines it on you and you’re like heY
  • and he’s like “hehe cute” and you’re like excuse me what
  • and hyuk is like “nothing, lead the way”
  • and when you get to the fuse box you hold the phone and see hyuk work with the wires. you notice the light shading his handsome face, a set jawline and wow,,,,his height????
  • and you’re like this is the first time im looking at hyuk and going ‘he’s hot’ what the HECK is wrong with me
  • and hyuk finishes in under five minutes and all your lights turn back on and he smiles
  • and it’s so,,,,,cute his nose is adorable did you just notice that??? why are you having all of these thoughts about your neighbor??
  • and he’s like “all done. how’d you like to pay me?”
  • and you’re like “i think i have some cash- but,,,,”
  • and hyuk grins because he’s like “yes,,,,,i don’t want cash”
  • and you’re like oh,,,,,,,,and you’re like “ok lean down-”
  • and hyuk does super duper excited that he’s about to get a kiss
  • but instead you pinch his cheek and go “ill order us pizza, don’t think im easy han sanghyuk.”
  • and with that you turn around and hyuk is just like: that was sexy 
  • you: shuttup what kind of toppings do you want?
Malec Goodies Part 1

This was supposed to be longer but anyway.

Here it is!

A collection of Malec Writing Goodies. My Malec fanfic rec. Well written fics with amazing writers.

As always, if you know the author and want to give me a hand, please tag them :)

A Fated Pair (Omegaverse) by @katychan666

Series about Alpha!Alec x Omega!Magnus…. 

A good kind of drug by  @imjustoutofideas

After getting a minor surgery, Alec is a little bit ‘high’ from the morphine he was given as pain relief. Fluff ensues.

A Pirate’s Life For Me by @lecrit 

Note: All the love you need and want between your favorite OTP, where one is a prince and the other one is a pirate. There’s a lot of angst, maybe a few tears, you can be sure of that but it’s oh so worth it, fluff and shameless innuendos.

A World Uncertain by @broodingalec 

The overwhelming passage of time has been a topic of avoidance between Alec and Magnus ever since the two started dating. With their lives so fragile and unpredictable under the threat of Valentine, they have managed to leave the concept in the back of their minds for a later date, hopefully somewhere in the far future.

This method of coping is pushed even further in the wake of Sebastian, Valentine’s son and Clary’s brother, taking a new and increasingly cruel step into their lives. The threats that are piling up against them seem to be rising to nearly insurmountable heights, but under the pressure of it all, the idea of the future that would come in the aftermath of success is beginning to haunt Alec’s dreams at night just as often.

Aftermath by @battlemagnus

It used to be that Alec always fit securely inside a neat little box inside Magnus’s head. He was a Shadowhunter, yes, but he was… he was Alec. He was a protector.

And my heart is set on you by  @lightwoodlesbians

Or the, 'we’re putting on a fund-raising play to save our old drama department’ au (ft. bonus: 'we had a thing in high school but i haven’t seen you in years and oh god you’re even more attractive than i remember’)

Aren’t You Cold? By lethargical

Alec dislikes the Winter. A lot. So when his apartment’s heating stops working, he decides to ask his neighbour for help, little did he know his neighbour was glittery and oddly familiar…

August by @glambertal

“What was your first time like?”

Magnus looked up at him slowly, one eyebrow arched curiously. “Why?”

Alec shrugged as if he weren’t mortified. “Just wondering. You don’t have to answer.”

Magnus just hummed and bookmarked his page, setting the book down. “It wasn’t nearly as good as yours, if that’s what you mean.”

Bang Me Like Your Drum by hckycrzy07

Magnus Bane is a pre-med student at NYU just trying to graduate. He’s stressed enough and could do without his friends pestering him about his boyfriend. It’s not that he’s embarrassed or closeted or something. He just wants to keep his boyfriend to himself, thank you very much. Now, if he could just get his friends to understand that, his life would be a whole lot easier.

or Magnus has a secret boyfriend that all of his friends have been dying to meet but Magnus just keeps refusing.

Big days and fragile nerves by @katwriting

It’s the day that Alec is supposed to become the official Head of the Institute and he is a tiny bit nervous.

“Nervous?”, Magnus said softly.
Alec let out a shaky laugh and scratched the back of his neck in a nervous gesture. “You have no idea.”
Magnus sighed. “Oh, Alexander. You have absolutely nothing to worry about.”
“Yeah, sure”, Alec scoffed, running one of his arms up Magnus’s side and cupping his cheek with his hand, “only every single shadowhunter in New York waiting for me to screw up.”

But some of us are looking at the stars by @lecrit

There aren’t many things that Alec loves as much as he loves the stars.
Most nights, he just likes to sit on his balcony and watch the eerie darkness drape over the sky and the silver glow of the moon, surrounded by the stars shaping constellations he knows by heart.

This is a special night for him and his son. The only night in the year Alec lets Max stay up after midnight, so they can watch Perseids meteor shower together on the rooftop of their building.

Alec doesn’t expect to find out they weren’t the only ones to get the idea.

Build your hopes up like a tower by alecsmagnus

They thought he never heard them.

But he always did.

Burnt by redappleblossom

The rest of the scene that Magnus deserved at the end of episode 12.

But In the Morning We Rise by @alittlebriton

“Mmmkay,” Magnus sighs without opening his eyes and shifts to allow Alec more access. “You can wake up the rest of me if you want.”

Alec knows he doesn’t mean it quite the way his brain interprets it - he just means he can keep up the kissing - but his brain leaps ahead and makes him flush, his body getting warmer. But why shouldn’t he? Magnus was his boyfriend; he was naked in bed with him. He could definitely wake up the whole of Magnus if he wanted. Just because he hasn’t done it before didn’t mean it wasn’t a good idea. 

Set before Episode 9 Bound By Blood - Alec wakes Magnus up in new ways.

Closed Doors Don’t Lie by @actuallyredorchid

When the summoning of the Memory Demon reveals that it’s not only Clary’s memories that have been meddled with, Alec finds himself being pushed off the path set out for him and onto a different one.

Communication by NotEvenThat

It didn’t matter if Alec hadn’t meant to upset him. Ragnor was dead. Valentine was back. The Clave wanted to document Downworlders, like they were cattle. Magnus was breaking down and he needed Alexander to leave before he really lost it.

Or how I think the Malec fight will go in 2B.

Communication Is Key by LS_5Ever

Everything was going great for Alec and Magnus. Alec no longer cares what Maryse thinks, and apart from Jace and Izzy’s constant teasing, he couldn’t be happier. Then, all goes downhill when, after a great day, Magnus starts ignoring him. What did he do wrong? If only Magnus would tell him, he could try to make it better.

Or the one where Magnus thinks Alec is cheating on him but in reality he’s not, but Magnus doesn’t know that because the two of them don’t communicate enough.

This will only be about 5 chapters unless I feel like expanding the story a bit.

Count to Ten and Breathe by @baneismyexistence

This is just a little drabble that came to me after watching 2.12.

Dancing in the Devil’s shoes by @marieruby 

His legs are not working. No matter how much he tries, the swirling mess in his head makes it impossible to walk anywhere, take any action. It’s the last couple of days all over again. He wants to cry but the tears are dry. He wants to scream but his voice is gone.

His voice is gone.

——-
The aftermath of 2x11 and the consequences of the bodyswap for Magnus.

Everything’s Embarrassing by @rosegoldhell

Magnus is a single father. Alec is a 4th grade teacher.
Both men are scared of relationships, but secretly crave to have something more one day, life just keeps getting in the way.
But their plans of living single lonely lives doesn’t last for long, when Rafael and Madzie Bane decide to play Matchmaker.

Explosive, Corrosive (Self-Preservation) by  GideonGraystairs (TrxyesSivan)

This was how they worked; angry in different ways, but always at the same time.

Keep reading

Period Drama with mama - Damian Wayne x Batmom (reader)

Summary : Batmom (you) is very fond of period dramas, it’s her guilty pleasure, and the rest of the family often mocks her for that…until one day, one of them stick around to actually watch it with her. 

Just a short little little thing because of reasons. Hope you’ll like it !

(My masterlist blog here : https://ella-ravenwood-archives.tumblr.com)

_______________________________________________________________________

You don’t really remember how it happened, the only thing you were sure of is that you were watching the 2006 mini-serie of “Jane Eyre” when he started to stick around to watch things with you. 

You were so surprised at first because…

Bruce hated period drama with a passion. He thought they were stupid, too long, ridiculous, cheesy, snob…He had a plethora of words to describe his dislike of the genre. He always got grumpy when you called him your “Mr. Darcy”, saying that he was totally not aloof, introverted, arrogant, etc etc…Every time he said such a thing, you laughed, because that’s exactly how he was with most people. You, your sons, Alfred and his very few close friends being an exception. Actually, scratch that, even with you guys sometimes he could be a bit of a dick. You thought he fitted perfectly into the role of Fitzwilliam Darcy…and that made him hate period dramas even more. Especially since you constantly teased him about how Colin Firth looked better than him…Erf. Damn those British shows. 

Dick, Jason and Tim felt the same, hating them too, for the same reason Bruce didn’t like it. Even the only one you thought you could rally to your cause because most period dramas happened in his home country, Alfred, couldn’t stand it. They all couldn’t stand it. And would oh so often make fun of you for liking them. They weren’t ever mean though, it was just affectionate teasing because they really didn’t get why you liked period dramas so much. 

So when Damian sat next to you on the couch, curious about those “shows you watched that they all hated so much”, you were almost stunned. And when he stayed, and asked you to call him whenever you wanted to watch a period drama, you thought you were going nuts. But turned out, you weren’t. Your youngest son, Damian, really took a liking to the stuffs. Against all odds. Because for real, all of the others hated it so much…Which was a shame (for them), because you and Damian beyond loved them ! And sometimes, you would speak of nothing else but that, driving the rest of the family insane.

Keep reading

5

Bontenmaru-hen is an amazing manga!! Anyone whose a fan of the infamous Date Dragon Duo will love this story! Though the manga was published back in 2014-2015, I finally got my hands on it recently and will now do a short review, while keeping it as spoiler-free as possible.

First of all, the artwork is absolutely stunning! Drawn by the amazing Yoshihara Motoki, one of my favorite manga artists! A seinen style manga, the bold lines and heavy shading really emphasize the seriousness of this drama between Katakura Kojuro and Masamune during their early days together. Some dialogue is based on the ‘flashback’ scenes in the SB4 game sprinkled throughout Kojuro’s route. Mainly, how young Bontenmaru’s wild raging needed to be redirected into more productive actions, and it’s up to Kojuro to tame this wild young dragon…by any means necessary, for the sake of the Date clan.

Very intense, even violent at times, and quite touching in others, it shows how these two strong-minded men slowly came to realize, through carefully chosen words and actions, that they could rely on each other, and develop a bond of trust that nothing would ever break. And that only by facing your inner darkness can one truly shine…

This is a powerful story that, by the end, it had me in tears. Even though I have huge limitations in reading Japanese, the way it’s printed has hiragana and katakana letters next to the more challenging kanji words, so it’s somewhat easier to figure out the words and phrases. Honestly, it made reading some of the more dramatic dialogue even more powerful, since I was almost studiously reading it. I highly recommend this manga, especially to you Date clan lovers.

Thoughts on Creation Club &  “Paid Mods”

Admittedly it’s been years since I’ve been a modder, but here are some rough, bullet point thoughts. 

  • Don’t think of this as paying modders for mods, because it’s not really that. Think of it as Bethesda hiring third party developers and giving them a cut of the profits rather than a salary. The relationship here is between developer and publisher, with milestones and dev support, not one of a company providing a storefront and taking a cut. 
  • Bethesda is investing far more money and effort into this than anyone ever has before. They’re dedicating QA and localization time to the mods, and, if the talk of milestones is accurate, also the attention of a producer or two. While their previous attempt could very well be characterized as a cash grab, with the company exerting very little effort, they are definitely committing a lot to making Creation Club work. Additionally, it sounds like a lot of the content on the Creation Club is going to be made by traditionally paid developers, so freelancers aren’t shouldering all of the burden. 
  • Videogame production varies widely in staffing needs during different stages of a project. In the early stages, they’ll need a boatload of programmers and a few artists and designers. In the later stages, they’ll need a bunch of artists and designers while the programmers are relegated to bug duty. Creation Club is likely a way to keep the studio occupied and earning money (thus, not laid off) while they do not have anything to do on a proper big project. Remember the gamejam from after Skyrim? This is the opportunity to release those projects while supporting the studio. 
  • This may very well also be a way to occupy the content creators of Bethesda while the programmers do something about the engine, like everyone’s been asking. 
  • While this is a new thing for singleplayer Bethesda games, this is pretty much the same sort of thing as the Crown Store for ESO or any other MMO. The addition of 3rd party (mod) content is the only “new” thing - and it is barely new when we consider that companies already frequently outsource DLC (or even main game) content. The only difference is that the developers are now approaching the publisher rather than the other way around. 
  • The Creation Club will cause has caused division in the community. Part of it is due to the perception and the function of the program (choosing certain modders, meaning real or perceived favoritism/elitism, putting money into the equation), part of it is due to the nature of the community (modders as a whole are a fickle and drama-filled bunch). This is natural, for now, but I do not think that it must, much less should, persist. Modding has always had its superstars, those modders whose names everyone knew, mods everyone recommended, opinions everyone respected. It has always been a cult of personality and timing as much as it has been of quality. Unless someone is already full of themselves and a total ass, getting into the Club isn’t going to magically ruin them. 
  • Many modders will not participate in the Club, due to ideological opposition, unwillingness to submit to a publisher-style relationship with Bethesda, dislike of the software, inability to publish their sorts of mods on the platform, etc. While the first people on the platform will undoubtedly be well-known names (Bethesda would be foolish to not launch with some famous support), the smaller ecosystem may very well prove to be a boon to less famous modders. Fewer mods = better chances that someone will find your mod.
  • I would go so far as to say that we owe it to modders to give this thing a chance. Someone releasing a new bow on Nexus, nearly six years into Skyrim’s lifespan, isn’t going to get much traction. Someone releasing a bow into a brand new, curated and supported system, showcased front and center to an audience of millions of console players? Suddenly, that newbie modder has a chance. But only if we don’t chase them away with flames and accusations of treason first. Instead, we should encourage them, even if we don’t intend to ever spend money on their product. That newbie modder can be nurtured into a helpful and vital part of the community, and may release free content down the line, too. 
  • (If you ever run into a great mod/art/fanfic/theory/etc. that you want me to look at and talk about, please do send it my way.) 
  • It bears repeating: don’t flame, threaten, or otherwise harass the people who want to sign up for the Creation Club. I saw a lot of this the first go around, and that is the real toxicity in the community, not modders wanting to get a little something back. 
  • Every hobby has someone making money from it. It’s why Etsy, Redbubble, Amazon self publishing, Patreon, etc. etc. etc. exists. The fact that some fan artists are able to live on their fan art hasn’t stopped other people from making fan art. The fact that a Skyrim modder got hired by Bungie didn’t shut down the Skyrim modding scene. Neither will people making a few bucks through this new thing stop everyone else from modding. 
  • If people do withdraw their mods due to this, or stop giving advice, or otherwise become dicks, it is because they were already dicks to begin with. See the above. 
  • In other words, just how well this works (or doesn’t work) is mostly up to us, the community.
All right, fuckers. Lets talk about Rat Queens, the comic so amazing I breezed through all three volumes in a day and a half and then almost cried because there was no more to read

For decades, the fantasy genre has had that moniker not just because it dealt with fantastical things like dragons, magic, elves, and other such things, but because it was also a genre where men’s chauvinistic fantasies ran wild, where women were often little more than helpless damsels in need of being rescued, and even the ones who weren’t were dressed up as objects of male fantasy, wearing armor that made no sense, which served no practical purpose. It was all about the male gaze, it dominated the genre for a very long time.

In recent years there has been an effort to overthrow that long standing norm. Many have pushed back (such as the pathetic “Puppy” movement at the Hugo awards recently, a group of voters who banded together specifically to get works that were pro-women, pro-poc, and pro-lgbtq+ to lose) and the result has been a renaissance of the genre, with projects that are inclusive of all genders, sexual identities, and races. Recently these previously ignored or demeaned groups have come to the forefront, leading several titles in the genre.

One of those title is Rat Queens, a comic about an all-female team of adventurers living and adventuring in a D&D style world.

Note: I read all three volumes, so there are some teeny spoilers, but I avoided anything really big. And most of it is character stuff and not plot stuff.

The Rat Queens are violent and magically inclined badasses, but they’re also introverts, nerds, hipsters, stoners, and emotional fuck up. Despite the fact that they use swords and magic to take down monsters in a fantasy world, they’re real.

They also obliterate the idea of what a sexy female fantasy character is. They have wide hips and big thighs, flat chests and real boobs that are sometimes floppy. Their tummies roll when they bend over. These aren’t four female fantasy characters with the same unrealistic, typically sexy body. Their bodies are all very different, and they’re all very sexy.

Hanna would probably be considered the leader of the group, if the Rat Queens really had a leader. She’s a half-elven demon who desperately tries to had that latter part. She’s also a skilled magic user, relying more on her spells than her blades in a fight. She’s a loud mouth, surly, combative, and wonderfully vulgar. 

She’s also in an incredibly complicated relationship with the head of the city’s guard, Sawyer. 

Her story and backstory really does seem to anchor most of the story, but I really think that’s just because the story is unfortunately finished. We were definitely getting foundation to really explore the other characters’ stories in more depth, but stuff behind the scenes caused the series to be put on hold indefinitely, so they never got to the point of digging into the other characters like they did Hannah. (I’ll talk about the behind-the-scenes drama at the end of the post).

Dee is an incredibly powerful cleric who just happens to not believe in the deity that grants her powers. She was raised in a cult that worshiped an ancient god and she learned her powerful magic there, but she had doubts that led to her leaving home to figure things out on her own. 

She’s also a nerd and an introvert who prefers a book to most people. She struggles with how much she misses her family, and the pain of leaving behind her parents, her siblings, and her husband while also struggling with her faith. 

Like Hannah, she also favors magic in a fight, but where she really comes in handy is with her curiosity and her fondness for research. One of the things that I really like about Dee is how not sexual her character is. Not because the sexuality displayed by the other characters is bad (quite the contrary) but because every woman is different when it comes to their sexual appetite and their enjoyment of sex, and it’s wonderful to see a character for whom sex and romantic relationships is not a major part of their arc.

Violet is a hipster dwarf who loves stabbing things with her sword. As long as too many other people don’t start loving it, too. Whereas Dee and Hannah use powerful magic in fights, Violet charges in pointy end first, looking to cut apart as many baddies as possible.

She’s also a huge dork who tries so hard at being badass that it almost negates her actually badassery at times. She’s very, very much a hipster, who left her life with the dwarves and shaved off her beard because she felt stifled by her culture, and then grew the beard back when she saw that other dwarven women were shaving their beards, too.

She also really likes sex. While Hannah and Betty are definitely sex-positive and definitely have sex during the course of the story, I think Violet is probably shown to be the most sex-positive and most sexually active. Her boyfriend is an Orc named Dave (or “Orc Dave”, as he’s a member of a group of adventurers called “The Four Daves”) and she is not subtle about the fact that she wants him, and she is not shy about sharing the facts of their sex life once she has him.

Finally, there’s Betty, the cutest little smidgen ever (from the art, I’m guessing “smidgen” is equivalent to gnome). Betty likes drinking, fighting, candy, drugs, and girls. And, specifically, one girl.  

Betty’s got it bad for a chick named Faeyri, but Faeyri’s not crazy about Betty’s friends, especially Hannah, who can get pretty combative when drinking. In between all the fighting, the adventuring, and the magic, we get a sweet little love story that actually presents a relationship with very real and honest problems.

While Betty loves to get stabby, and while her small size often serves as an advantage in battle, her greatest contribution to the group might be her skills as a thief and her ability to read people. She can look at any place and figure out how to get her teeny tiny form into it in the most covert way, and she can look at any person and read them look a book. 

But no matter how clever she is, she’s still a huge weirdo who loves candy, drugs, and her friends.

The women of Rat Queens are all so different in so many respects, and they’re all so flawed and real. The series is hysterically funny, full of so much heart, and a must read for any fantasy fan who loves well written female characters. This fast became one of my vert, very favorite comics of all time.

Unfortunately there are only three collected volumes + one issue. The original artist was arrested for domestic abuse, and though he ultimately wasn’t charged, he was not brought back to continue as the series’ artist. They did find a new artist for what would be the third volume, but ultimately, according to the series’ writer Kurtis Wiebe, they didn’t really mesh, and now the comic is on hiatus indefinitely. From searching around the internet it looks like the plan is to eventually continue it as a web comic, but Wiebe is currently writing the new series Bounty (which is another great female-led comic, this time taking on the also-until-recently male dominated genre of sci-fi. I’ve only read the first issue but I adored it, and I can’t wait for the TP to come out, which will happen the day after my birthday), so I’m not sure when it’s actually going to happen.

While it’s definitely a bummer that the story just kind of… stops, and we don’t know for sure when it will continue, you have to read Rat Queens if you have any kind of appreciation for stories led by strong female characters, and especially if you’ve been disappointed by other fantasy stories, and especially if that disappointment largely came from the misogyny, lack of diversity, and homophobia in the writing. I’m getting emotional from how much I love Rat Queens, that’s how good this series is.

esquire.com
Chris Evans Has No Interest in Walking on Eggshells

CHRIS EVANS IS READY TO FIGHT

His success as Captain America has made Chris Evans one of Hollywood’s sure things, which means he can do whatever he wants with his free time. So why jump out of airplanes and get into it with David Duke?

The Canadian commandos are the first to jump. Our plane reaches an altitude of about eight thousand feet; the back door opens. Although it’s a warm winter day below in rural southern California, up here, not so much. In whooshes freezing air and the cold reality that this is actually happening. Out drop the eight commandos, all in black-and-red camouflage, one after the other. For them it’s a training exercise, and Jesus, these crazy bastards are stoked. The last Canuck to exit into the nothingness is a freakishly tall stud with a crew cut and a handlebar mustache; just before he leaps, he flashes a smile our way. Yeah, yeah, we get it: You’re a badass.

Moments later, the plane’s at ten thousand feet, and the next to go are a Middle Eastern couple in their late thirties. These two can’t wait. They are ecstatic. Skydiving is clearly a thing for them. Why? I can’t help thinking. Is it like foreplay? Do they rush off to the car after landing and get it on in the parking lot? They give us the thumbs-up and they’re gone.

Just like that, we’re at 12,500 feet and it’s our turn. Me and Chris Evans, recognized throughout the universe as the star of the Marvel-comic-book-inspired Captain America and Avengers movies. The five films in the series, which began in 2011 with Captain America: The First Avenger, have grossed more than $4 billion.

The two of us, plus four crew members, are the only ones left in the back of the plane. Over the loud drone of the twin propellers, one of the crew members shouts, “Okay, who’s going first?”

Evans and I are seated on benches opposite each other. Neither of us answers. I look at him; he looks at me. I feel like I’ve swallowed a live rat. Evans is over there, all Captain America cool, smiling away.

While we were waiting to board the plane, Evans told me that as he lay in bed the night before, “I started exploring the sensation of ‘What if the chute doesn’t open?’. . .”

Oh, did you now?

“. . .Those last minutes where you know.” As in you know you’re going to fatally splat. “You’re not gonna pass out; you’re gonna be wide awake. So what? Do I close my eyes? Hopefully, it would be quick. Lights out. I fucking hope it would be quick. And then I was like, if you’re gonna do it, let’s just pretend there is no way this is going to go wrong. Just really embrace it and jump out of that plane with gusto.” Evans also shared that he’d looked up the rate of skydiving fatalities. “It’s, like, 0.006 fatalities per one thousand jumps. So I figure our odds are pretty good.”

Again the crew member shouts, “Who’s going first?”

Again I look at Evans; again he looks at me. The rat is running circles in my belly.

I look at Evans; he looks at me.

Another crew member asks, “So whose idea was this, anyway?”


That’s an excellent question.

I ask Evans the same thing when we first meet, the evening before our jump, at his house. He lives atop the Hollywood Hills, in a modern-contemporary ranch in the center of a Japanese-style garden. The place has the vibe of an L.A. meditation retreat—there’s even a little Buddha statue on the front step.

The dude who opens the front door is in jeans, a T-shirt, and Nikes; he has on a black ball cap with the NASA logo, and his beard is substantial enough that for a second it’s hard to be sure this is the same guy who plays the baby-faced superhero. Our handshake in the doorway is interrupted when his dog rockets toward my crotch. Evans is sorry about that.

We do the small-talk thing. Evans is from a suburb of Boston, one of four kids raised by Dad, a dentist, and Mom, who ran a community theater. The point is, he’s a Patriots fan, and with Super Bowl LI, between the Pats and the Falcons, just a few days away at the time, it’s about the only thing on his mind. You bet your Sam Adams–guzzling ass he’s going to the game in Houston. “Oh my God,” he says, doing a little dance. “I can’t believe it’s this weekend.”

Like any self-respecting Pats fan, Evans is super-wicked pissed at NFL commissioner Roger Goodell.

Evans won’t be rolling to SB LI with a posse of Beantown-to-Hollywood A-listers like Mark Wahlberg, Matt Damon, and Ben Affleck. For the record, he’s never met Damon, and his only interaction with Wahlberg was a couple years ago at a Patriots event. Evans has, however, humiliated himself in front of Affleck.

Around 2006, Evans met with Affleck to talk about Gone Baby Gone, which Affleck was directing. Evans was walking down a hallway, looking for the room where they were supposed to meet. Walking by an open office, he heard Affleck, in that thick Boston accent of his, shout, “There he is!” (Evans does a perfect Affleck impersonation.)

By then, Evans had hit the big time for his turn as the Human Torch, Johnny Storm, in 2005’s Fantastic Four, but he still got starstruck. As he tells it, “First thing I say to him: 'Am I going to be okay where I parked?’ He was like, 'Where did you park?’ I said, 'At a meter.’ And he was like, 'Did you put money in the meter?’ And I said, 'Yep.’ And he says, 'Well, I think you’ll be okay.’ I was like, this is off to a great fucking start.” Stating the obvious here: Evans did not get the part.

No, Evans will be heading to the Super Bowl with his brother and three of his closest buddies. Like any self-respecting Pats fan, Evans is super-wicked pissed at NFL commissioner Roger Goodell for imposing that suspension on Tom Brady for Deflategate. Grabbing two beers from a fridge that’s otherwise basically empty, Evans says, “I just want to see Goodell hand the trophy to Brady. Goodell. Piece of shit.”

In Evans’s living room, there’s not a single hint of his Captain Americaness. Earth tones, tables that appear to be made of reclaimed wood. Open. Uncluttered. Glass doors open onto a backyard with a stunning view of the Hills. Evans stretches out on one of two couches. I take the other and ask, “Just whose idea was it to jump?” Since we both know whose idea it wasn’t, we both know that what I’m really asking is Why? Why, dude, do you want to jump (with me) from a goddamn airplane? “Yeah,” he says, popping open his beer, “I don’t know what I was thinking.”

Settling in on the couch, he groans. Evans explains that he’s hurting all over because he just started his workout routine the day before to get in shape for the next two Captain America films. The movies will be shot back to back beginning in April. After that, no more red- white-and-blue costume for the thirty-five-year-old. He will have fulfilled his contract.

“Yeah,” he says, popping open his beer, “I don’t know what I was thinking.”

Back in 2010, Marvel presented Evans with a nine-picture deal. He insisted he’d sign on for no more than six. Some family members thought he was nuts to dial back such a secure and lucrative gig. Evans saw it differently.

It takes five months to shoot a Marvel movie, and when you tack on the promotional obligations for each one, well, shit, man. Evans knew that for as long as he was bound to Captain America, he would have little time to take on other projects. He wanted to direct, he wanted to play other characters—roles that were more human—like the lead in Gifted, which will hit theaters this month. The script had brought him to tears. Evans managed to squeeze the movie in between Captain America and Avengers films.

In Gifted, Evans stars as Frank Adler. You don’t get much more human than Adler, a grease-under-his-nails boat-engine mechanic living the bachelor life in Florida. After a series of tragic circumstances, Adler becomes a surrogate father to his niece, Mary, a first-grader with the IQ of Einstein. He recognizes that Mary is a little genius, and he does his best to prevent anyone else from noticing. Given the aforementioned circumstances, Adler has witnessed what can happen when a kid with a brilliant mind is pushed too hard too quickly. Then along comes Mary’s teacher. She discovers the child’s gift, and a Kramer vs. Kramer–esque drama ensues.

During a moment in the film when things aren’t going Adler’s way, he sarcastically refers to himself as a “fucking hero.” Evans says the line didn’t lead him to make comparisons between superhero Steve Rogers (aka Captain America) and Everyman hero Frank Adler. But now that you mention it . . . 

“With Steve Rogers,” Evans says, “even though you’re on a giant movie with a huge budget and strange costumes, you’re still on a hunt for the truth of the character.” That said, “with Adler, it’s nice to play someone relatable. I think Julianne Moore said, 'The audience doesn’t come to see you; they come to see themselves.’ Adler is someone you can hold up as a mirror for someone in the audience. They’ll be able to far more easily identify with Frank Adler than Steve Rogers.”


Dodger. That’s the name of Evans’s dog, the one who headbutted my nuts and has since done a marvelous job of making amends by nuzzling against me on the couch. Evans got him while he was filming Gifted; one of the last scenes was shot in an animal shelter in Georgia. Evans had wanted a dog ever since his last pooch died in 2012. Then he found himself walking the aisles of this pound, and there was this mixed-breed boxer, wagging his tail and looking like he belonged with Evans.

Dodger is not exactly a name you’d think a die-hard Boston sports fan would pick. His boys from back home have given him a ton of shit over it. But he has not abandoned his Red Sox for the L.A. team. As a kid, he loved the Disney animated movie Oliver & Company, and his favorite character was Dodger. Anticipating the grief he was going to get from his pals, Evans considered other names. “You could name your dog Doorknob,” he says, “and in a month he’s fucking Doorknob.” Evans’s mom convinced him to go with his gut.

Right around when Evans was wrapping Gifted and heading back to L.A. with Dodger, the 2016 presidential campaign was still in that phase when no one, including the actor—a Hillary Clinton supporter—thought Trump had a shot. He still can’t believe Trump won.

“I feel rage,” he says. “I feel fury. It’s unbelievable. People were just so desperate to hear someone say that someone is to blame. They were just so happy to hear that someone was angry. Hear someone say that Washington sucks. They just want something new without actually understanding. I mean, guys like Steve Bannon—Steve Bannon!—this man has no place in politics.”

Evans has made, and continues to make, his political views known on Twitter. He tweeted that Trump ought to “stop energizing lies,” and he recently ended up in a heated Twitter debate with former KKK leader David Duke over Trump’s pick of Jeff Sessions for attorney general. Duke baselessly accused Evans of being anti-Semitic; Evans encouraged Duke to try love: “It’s stronger than hate. It unites us. I promise it’s in you under the anger and fear.” Making political statements and engaging in such public exchanges is a rather risky thing for the star of Captain America to do. Yes, advisors have said as much to him. “Look, I’m in a business where you’ve got to sell tickets,” he says. “But, my God, I would not be able to look at myself in the mirror if I felt strongly about something and didn’t speak up. I think it’s about how you speak up. We’re allowed to disagree. If I state my case and people don’t want to go see my movies as a result, I’m okay with that.”

Trump. Bannon. Politics. Now Evans is animated. He gets off the couch, walks out onto his porch, and lights a cigarette. “Some people say, 'Don’t you see what’s happening? It’s time to yell,' ” Evans says. “Yeah, I see it, and it’s time for calm. Because not everyone who voted for Trump is going to be some horrible bigot. There are a lot of people in that middle; those are the people you can’t lose your credibility with. If you’re trying to change minds, by spewing too much rhetoric you can easily become white noise.”


Evans has a pretty remarkable “How I got to Hollywood” story.

During his junior year of high school, he knew he wanted to act. He was doing it a lot. In school. At his mom’s theater. He loved it. “When you’re doing a play at thirteen years old and have opening night? None of my friends had opening nights. 'I can’t have a sleepover, guys; I have an opening night tonight.' ”

That same year, he did a two-man play. For all of the twenty-plus plays Evans had done up to that point, preparation meant going home, memorizing lines, and doing a few run-throughs with the cast. However, for this play, Fallen Star, he and his costar would rehearse by running dialogue with each other. Hour upon hour, night after night.

Fallen Star is about two friends, one of whom has just died. As the play opens, one of the characters comes home after the funeral to find his dead friend’s ghost. Evans was the ghost. Waiting backstage on opening night, he knew he didn’t have every line memorized, but he had the essence and emotion of the play down. Onstage, he remembers, “I was saying the lines not because they were memorized but because the play was in me. I was believing what I was saying.”

He was hooked. He wanted to do more of this kind of acting—real acting. He wanted to do films, in which the camera was right on him and he could just be the character, rather than theater, in which an actor must perform to the back of the room.

A family friend who was a television actor advised Evans that if he wanted to go to Hollywood, he needed an agent. Toward the end of his junior year, he had a ballsy request for his parents: If he found an internship with a casting agent in New York City, would they allow him to live there and cover the rent? They agreed. Evans landed a gig with Bonnie Finnegan, who was then working on the television show Spin City.

“I just fucked off. I lost my virginity that year. 1999 was one of the best years of my life.” Until it wasn’t.

Evans chose to intern with a casting agent because he figured he had more of a chance to interact with other agents trying to get auditions for their clients.

The kid was sixteen years old.

Finnegan put Evans on the phone; his responsibilities included setting up appointments for auditions. By the end of the summer, he picked the three agents he had the best rapport with and asked each of them to give him a five-minute audition. All three said yes. After seeing his audition, all three were interested.

Evans went with the one Finnegan recommended, Bret Adams, who told Evans to return to New York for auditions in January, television pilot season. Back home, Evans doubled up on a few classes the first semester of his senior year, graduated early, and went back to New York in January. He got the same shithole apartment in Brooklyn and the same internship with Finnegan. He landed a part on the pilot Opposite Sex. Even better, the show got picked up and would start shooting in L.A. that fall.

“I know I’m going to L.A. in August,” Evans says, recalling that period. “So I go home and that spring I would wake up around noon, saunter into high school just to see my buddies, and we’d go get high in the parking lot. I just fucked off. I lost my virginity that year. 1999 was one of the best years of my life.” Until it wasn’t.

He wasn’t in L.A. for even a month when he got a call from home. His parents were divorcing. Evans never saw it coming.

Family and love and the struggles therein are part of what attracted Evans to Gifted.

“In my own life, I have a deep connection with my family and the value of those bonds,” he says. “I’ve always loved stories about people who put their families before themselves. It’s such a noble endeavor. You can’t choose your family, as opposed to friends. Especially in L.A. You really get to see how friendships are put to the test; it stirs everyone’s egos. But if something goes south with a friend, you have the option to say we’re not friends anymore. Your family—that’s your family. Trying to make that system work and trying to make it not just functional but actually enjoyable is a really challenging endeavor, and that’s certainly how it is with my family.”


In the plane, a decision is made.

“I want to see you jump first,” Evans shouts my way.

Of course he does.

Like any respectable and legal skydiving center, Skydive Perris, which is providing us with this “experience,” doesn’t just strap a chute on your back. First, you go to a room for a period of instruction. Then you go to another room, where you sign away your rights.

You may be wondering how the star of a billion-dollar franchise with two pictures to shoot gets clearance to jump from an airplane—never mind the low rate of fatalities, as Evans has presented it. So am I.

“Well, they give you all these crazy insurance policies, but even if I die, what are they going to do? Sue my family? They’d probably cast some new guy at a cheaper price and save some money.”

Thinking the answer is almost certainly going to be no, I ask Evans if he’s ever gone skydiving before. Turns out he has, with an ex-girlfriend. Turns out that ex-girlfriend is now married to Justin Timberlake. Evans and Jessica Biel dated off and on from 2001 to 2006. They took the leap together when Biel hatched the idea for one Valentine’s Day. According to media accounts, Evans was recently dating his Gifted costar Jenny Slate, who plays the teacher. “Yeah,” he says, “but I’m steering clear of those questions.” You can almost feel his heart pinch.

There’s a certain shared life experience that is tough for someone else who’s not in this industry to kind of wrap their head around.”

We end up broadly discussing the unique challenges an international star like Evans faces when it comes to dating, specifically the trust factor. Evans supposes that’s why so many actors date other actors: “There’s a certain shared life experience that is tough for someone else who’s not in this industry to kind of wrap their head around,” he says. “Letting someone go to work with someone for three months and they won’t see them. It really, it certainly puts the relationship to the test.”

In Gifted, there’s a moment when Slate’s character asks Adler what his greatest fear is. Frank Adler’s greatest fear is that he’ll ruin his niece’s life. Evans’s greatest fear is having regrets.

“Like always kind of wanting to be there as opposed to here. I think I’m worried all of a sudden I’ll get old and have regrets, realize that I’ve not cultivated enough of an appreciation for the now and surrendering to the present moment.”

Evans’s musings have something to do with the fact that he has been reading The Surrender Experiment. “It’s about the basic notion that we are only in a good mood when things are going our way,” he says. “The truth is, life is going to unfold as it’s going to unfold regardless of your input. If you are an active participant in that awareness, life kind of washes over you, good or bad. You kind of become Teflon a little bit to the struggles that we self-inflict.”

He continues: “Our conscious minds are very spread out. We worry about the past. We worry about the future. We label. And all of that stuff just makes us very separate. What I’m trying to do is just quiet it down. Put that brain down from time to time and hope those periods of quiet and stillness get longer. When you do that, what rises from the mist is a kind of surrendering. You’re more connected as opposed to being separate. A lot of the questions about destiny or fate or purpose or any of that stuff—it’s not like you get answers. You just realize you didn’t need the questions.”

This here—this stuff about surrendering, letting life unfold, taking the leap—this is why he wanted to go skydiving. It’s why that sixteen-year-old took the leap and did the summer in New York; it’s why he took the leap and turned down the nine-picture deal; it’s why he got Dodger. Surrender. Take the leap.

And so I go first.

Oh, one important detail: Novice jumpers like Evans and me, we don’t jump solo. Thank God. Each of us is doing a tandem jump. Each of us is strapped with our back to a professional jumper’s front. I’m strapped to a forty-four-year-old dude named Paul. Considering what’s about to happen, I figure I should know a little something about Paul. He tells me he used to own a bar in Chicago. Evans is strapped to a young woman named Sam, who looks to be twenty-something. She’s got a purplish-pink streak in her black hair and says things like “badass.” In fact, Sam introduced herself  by saying, “I’m Sam, but you can call me Badass.”

At the plane’s open door, my mind goes to my wife and two teenage sons, to those I love, and to the texts I just sent in case my chute fails. Then Paul and I—well, really mostly Paul—rock gently back and forth to build momentum to push away from the plane, to push away from all that seems sane.

Three.

Two.

One.

Holy fuck.

HOLY FUCK. This is what I scream as we free-fall from 12,500 feet, at more than a hundred miles an hour, toward the earth. Which I cannot take my eyes off of. I think about nothing. Not living. Not dying. Nothing. I simply feel . . . I have let go.

Suddenly, it all stops. I’m jerked up. Paul has pulled the chute, and it does indeed open. This is fantastic, because it means we have a much better chance of not dying. But it’s also kind of a bummer. I had let go. Of everything. I had chosen to play those odds Evans had talked about. I had embraced jumping and letting life unfold.

Now I had been jerked back. I would land. Back on the earth I had been so high above and from which I had been so far removed. Back in all of it.

Once I’m on the ground, safe and in one piece, a staffer runs over and asks how I feel. I say, “I feel like Captain America.”

The staffer runs over and asks Evans the same question. He says he feels great. Then he’s asked another question: What was your favorite part?

“Jumping out,” he says. “Jumping out is always a real thrill.”