this is old but i just realized i forgot to post it

kittyheartsgot7 : I haven’t talked about him in a while. I was going to describe this perfection but something hit me really hard today. I was so busy focusing on his looks and jokes I forgot behind that smile is loneliness, sadness. We are always expecting him to be perfect. We are pressuring him so much to the point where he was compelled to go on a diet. We gave him an illusion that being slim is being perfect. This is wrong. Haters won this time and we lose our old Jackson who was full of life, who used to have thick thighs and was proud of it. It’s too late to realize what we did but I still think there is hope to bring him back. He seriously deserves all the happiness in this world. He is someone who tell us to be healthy but ends up getting sick and worn out for us. He tells us to ignore haters but ends up listening to them and goes on a diet because they said he is fat. I feel so hurt thinking of the situation he is going through. He have fans who expect him to be perfect. He have family but very far from him, he have friends I don’t know if they are even real (except GOT7). I am not trying to judge anyone but I think I have enough experience to tell if he is going through a hard time or not. If only we could give him 1% of what he’s been giving to us trust me he would be much more happier. Please take a moment to think if you’re actually supporting him or pressuring him? Take a moment to think if you actually love him for being a good human being or for being an idol? I learned my lesson and I will try my best to bring our old Jackson back. I hope our fellow ahgases will do the same

cr. kittyheartsgot7 inst

I really miss Narnia. It was like my first fandom I think and now thinking the movies are over and books- obviously years ago. All I see now are gifs sets on tumblr occasionally which remind me of Narnia- anyway the point of this text post is that I JUST REALIZED that will be for the maze runner and divergent and hunger games etc. They will be the movies that everyone saw/read “years ago”. It will be that occasional gif which will appear on people’s dashboards, the occasional text post, the occasional meme, which  remind them of the times of that fandom which they couldn’t even believe they forgot about up to this point.
AND THAT MAKES ME SO SAD.
HOWEVER HOW OLD WE GET, WE MUST NEVER FORGET OUR FANDOMS.

2

It was like 10203838484884848484 degrees in the gym tonight. I realized that throughout the day I did not drink as much water as usual so that caught up to me a bit. I still tried to work as hard as possible in Zumba without overdoing it. I forgot my ponytail holders today so it was a hair down, extra sweat in my face type of evening.

I was looking through old posts again and decided to use some of that motivation I once had to motivate me again in the present. I don’t need to compare myself to others or dwell on what I think people think I look like. Just gotta give my best whether that means a long sweaty workout or a rest day on the couch. Something feels a little different this week. (I know it’s only Monday) I think part of it is booking my flight home. I just would like to feel strong and confident as I go back and see people I haven’t seen in 9 months. I couldn’t be happier as to where I’m at physically (like location and job) and I would just like to be in a real good spot mentally too. This is a lot of rambling. I have a lot of thoughts and feelings guys.

It was a successful Monday.

I feel like I need to have watermelon for dessert tonight because it’s a day of the week that ends in a -y.

Little things that bring us joy:

1. The way your creamer emerges in your coffee and makes a pretty pattern

2. When you wake up in the middle of the night and realize that you still have more time to sleep

3. Buying new clothes and being excited to wear them the next day

4. Finding jeans that fit perfectly

5. When your crush texts you first

6. Finding out that you’re not the only person who didn’t do their homework

7. When your parents say that they’re proud of you

8. Being so excited for something the next day that you can’t sleep

9. Reading over an old book that you forgot about

10. Taking a good picture of yourself

11. When a baby curls their tiny hand around your finger

12. Discovering new music

13. When someone compliments you

14. That first sip of coffee in the morning

15. When your makeup turns out perfect on the first try

16. Acing a test that you were worried about

17. The cold side of the pillow

18. The feeling after you’ve finished a good conversation with someone you love

19. Cutting your hair and being happy with the new look

20. The moment you catch your crush staring at you

—  Part 1 // D.P