this is not yuri

anonymous asked:

Victor lost Yuuri while out shopping in Japan so he goes asking locals in cute broken Japanese "I lost my husband will you help me?" and people are super nice so they're like "sure, what does he look like?" and Victor started tearing up and says "he looks beautiful" hahaha

LMAO the locals are probably like “????” and victor’s like “oh oops sorry” [brings up a pic of yuuri from his phone] “HE’S LITERALLY THE MOST BEAUTIFUL MAN ON EARTH”

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1st year Slytherin!Yuuri got everyone in the house confused, how is this pure puffball got sorted in the snake’s house???

P.S. Pichit is a good friend. Treasure him.

2 years earlier before Yuuri grew into a fine Eros

-Hogwarts/Durmstrang AU-

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anonymous asked:

Everybody talkin about Hiroko showing Yuuri's baby pictures, but what about Yuuri meeting Victor's parents for the first time, seeing his baby pics, and discovering he was a bald baby except for a tiny tuft of silver hair at the center hahaha cute

LMAO THAT’S ADORABLE

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mjau? what is a “boyfriend” ??

Hmmm, that is the dark haired boy I see on my kitten’s glowy rectangle.

He seems like a good cat and a calming purrresence for my kitten. He’s always less cranky when they talk. My kitten always picks up the things on the floor and puts them away before talking to this Meowtabek on the rectangle, like a good kitty should. He is learning!

i think he may paw us a visit soon?

astrakiseki  asked:

For a crack mental image: Consider young Yuuri having videos of his learning how to stop. Including running into walls a lot.

Yuuri comes back from the supermarket to find the worst thing he could possibly imagine. 

Victor and his family (and a few inn patrons) are all gathered around the tv in the dining room. At first he isn’t overly concerned because it isn’t entirely unusual for Victor to draw a crowd. 

But when he hears his mother’s giggle combined with Victor’s “Wow!” he knows something’s up. 

He puts the groceries in the kitchen and warily makes his way over to the small gathering. Before he can see what they’re watching, a laugh ripples through the group, Victor’s bark of laughter the loudest. 

“Oh, Yuuuuuri!” Victor calls with a wide smile when Yuuri puts a hand on his shoulder.  He turns to the right to face Yuuri, but in doing so gives him a view straight to the tv. 

And there, on the screen, is tiny, chubby Yuuri, tears in his eyes, but a determined look on his face, as he stands on the ice with wobbly legs. He recognizes the video straight away. It’s a home movie Minako took when Yuuri was first learning to skate. “No.” He whispers. 

He immediately tries to get in front of Victor, dearly hoping the damage hasn’t already been done. 

“Ah, Yuuri, you’re blushing,” Victor (un)helpfully points out. He slings an arm around Yuuri’s shoulder and pulls him in close, effectively blocking Yuuri’s attempt at distracting him.

The young Yuuri on screen goes barrelling across the ice and smacks into the boards with a ‘thud’. Yuuri buries his head in Victor’s chest in shame with a groan.

“Ah,” Victor sighs with smile, “I always thought you would have been cute when you were young. But you’re just adorable! I think I’ve fallen more in love.”

“Thank you, but please turn it off,” Yuuri mumbles into Victor’s chest, his face red-hot. 

Victor laughs, pressing a light kiss to the top of Yuuri’s head. He turns to Mama-Katsuki and says, “Thank you, but I’ll watch the rest later.”

She smiles at him, pressing a hand to her cheek. “Oh, that’s fine. I have many more tapes. You just have to ask.”

“I’m going to burn them before you can,” Yuuri tells him. There’s no way Victor’s ever going to see the video of him trying his first spins. 

The crowd groans in protest as Mama-Katsuki turns the tv off. 

“It’s nice to know someone so talented started off the same as everyone else.” One of the older men says. 

“Mmmn,” Victor shakes his head. “I think you started off pretty impressive,” he whispers. “You should have seen how bad I was when I first started. Bruises everywhere.”

“You have videos too?” Yuuri asks, looking up at him. He’s seen Victor at most stages of life, but never as a small child. 

“Maybe,” Victor shrugs, looking at the blank tv. “How about…” he glances down at Yuuri, and says with a wink, “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.”

Here’s an unsolicited headcanon that literally nobody asked for:

I’m a big proponent of the idea that to make your relationship a healthy one, you’ve got to accept the fact that sometimes the person you love is going to be petty. Sometimes you’re going to be petty. We’re all petty sometimes.

But Viktor and Yuuri are petty in very different ways.

Viktor is petty in that he still says things like, “You just wouldn’t understand,” instead of trying to explain himself because that’s what he went so long doing. He also has a bad habit of taking it personally when Yuuri doesn’t comment positively on a new shirt or pair of pants. And, of course, like Yuuri and his Bad Tie, Viktor is constantly running a monologue under his breath about the bad fashion choices of those around him.

“Orange is not your color, honey,” Viktor mumbles under his breath, referring to a woman walking past them wearing an orange-paisley pantsuit.

Even Yuuri can agree that it’s hideous, but he’s not sure why Viktor feels the need to point it out. Someday, somehow, someone is going to hear him, and he’s going to have to talk a person out of punching his husband in the face.

“You did a spread in Teen Vogue where you wore safety-monitor-orange pants and a neon green shirt,” Yuuri tells him, remembering it vividly because it was horrible and awful but that didn’t stop fourteen-year-old Yuuri from keeping it shoved under his pillow for…purposes.

“Ugh,” is Viktor’s succinct reply.

Viktor being petty about fashion makes sense to Yuuri, though. In a weird sort of way.

Likewise, it makes sense to Viktor that Yuuri is petty about food.

See, this is a learning curve for Viktor because his Yuuri is a sweet, beautiful and loyal person but he would probably get into a physical fight with someone over his favorite foods? Like, the first time Viktor eats the last of Yuuri’s favorite frozen yogurt Yuuri won’t let him touch him when they go to bed. 

This is such an odd concept for Viktor because his whole life it’s been like, “Oh? You want some of my food? Yes, here!” If it will make someone happy, Viktor would forfeit his favorite part of any dish so that a person he loves could have a moment of joy.

Yuuri on the other hand, sometimes warily stares at Viktor for a full ten seconds before allowing him to reach in and grab a (Small, Viktor) handful of the chips he’s eating.

“We’re married,” Viktor pouts, munching slowly on the four (4) whole cheesy poofs Yuuri allowed him.

“And?” Yuuri says, staring with determination at the television.

“I promise to love and support–”

“I am loving and supporting you,” Yuuri says. “You’re not married to my cheesy poofs. They don’t have to.”

This is the point at which Viktor usually lunges for the bag, and the aforementioned physical fight usually happens. Yuuri and Viktor usually look up from the subsequent heavy petting session twenty minutes later to realize that Makkachin has eaten the remaining chips and is now walking around with the bag on his head, bumping into the walls.