this is not what i wanted to accomplish today

Hi! I just wanted to share some great news. I graduated today! After 6 long years of dropping in and out of school, dealing with depression and anxiety and (surprise!) undiagnosed ADHD, I finally got my high school diploma at 20 years old! For anyone reading, if you still have opportunities to get your diploma, take it! Don’t give up! And if you do, keep trying for as long as you can! Even if you don’t get your diploma, you’d be surprised what you can accomplish! Just wanted to share some positivity tonight. :)


Wow. All I can say is thank you, thank you for all the kind messages everyone has sent me. Whether it was on here or twitter, I’m amazed at the responses I’ve been getting. The love and support from this community is one of the things that originally drew me in. I never imagined my art would take me here but I’m thankful that I got to be apart of this charity stream. I want to thank all of those who donated or signal boosted the stream in anyway you could. You all helped an amazing cause today. I’m so proud of all of you and what this community is able to accomplish. <3

I am a musician, a writer. I am attaining two bachelor degrees in five years. I am receiving a Bachelor of Music Honours Specialization in Music Education and a Bachelor of Arts in English Language and Literature. I am a peer writing counsellor. I am a faculty student council president. I am an incoming student Senator representing the arts. I am a volunteer within my community, helping toddlers and babies begin early music education. 

Society has taught me to not be proud of my accomplishments, to not celebrate these achievements, to keep my head down and to not flaunt my successes. 

Today, I celebrate. I celebrate what I have done despite the odds being against me, despite being raised in a STEM-based family, being the youngest of my generation and the odd one out for pursuing the arts. I celebrate my victories, my perseverance when I wanted nothing but to quit, to resign to a meaningless life because I am always fighting.

Today, I know I’ve won.

Above all – today, I celebrate being a woman. 

Finding the right words has been challenging.

Since the moment I opened my eyes this morning I was fighting back the tears. I was trying not to wake my husband with my sniffles. I got up, and cried. I mean just tears falling, and it was at that moment I realized why am I fighting back these tears today? These are happy tears. They remind me of what I’ve done to get here. The challenges and obstacles. The victories and accomplishments.

Today is all about me. And I’m gonna keep smiling and crying as much as my heart wants. Because I earned this. Today is my day.

Happy Selfie Friday!! 

Today I received my diplomas, so I can say that I finally… FINALLY!! finished uni 🙊

Now the world of adulthood is waiting for me…noooo i don’t want to grow up!, I finish an important stage in my life and now it’s timeto start a new one. I couldn’t have done t without the love and support of all of you so THANK YOU!!  ❤ There were many times that i wanted to quit and i even questioned my desire to study what i studied, but i made it, it wasn’t easy but i did it ☺ and now i feel proud of myself for not giving up. And here is a little message for all of the students out there, “I know it’s hard, the stress becomes your closest enemy, and self doubt is a regular thing, BUT DO NOT GIVE UP!! remember why you decided to do it, keep your goal in mind and try as hard as you can to overcome these problems, because at the end you will make it, you will accomplish your dreams and the happiness will overwhelm you, IT IS WORTH IT! , so do your best and keep fighting!”  😁 


Another 16 miles down. I told you I was going to ride like the wind until my surgery! Boy was it beautiful out there today, wind was not too bad, tons of people out enjoying the day, what a way to spend an hour and change!

I don’t care for how the web version of T arranges photos, I want them to be in a particular way and order. Sorry for the long list of images when it should be 2 sets of side by sides.

So, today, I saw more bikers, walkers, runners and joggers, homeless, people playing frisbee golf, people playing with their dogs, families and more. I -love- that part of riding. Well, the homeless guy, not happy about that, but I’ve given him water and food a few times when I’ve seen him before, so I have done what I can. But everyone else, a people watchers dream.

And, I accomplished some good old fashioned hard workout action. Well, I worked hard, my heart didn’t, thanks to these dang (not dark) meds. I never got over 111bpm and should have been hitting 140+. I rode hard, pushed myself, and panted when stopped, yet my heart was chill. Stupid heart, go faster whenI push you!

But all in all, a good way to spend a Saturday. And if the weather keeps up, I’ll do this every day until either the weather doesnt permit or I have surgery on the 29th.

Can’t stop this train.

Being busy is a form of laziness - lazy thinking and indiscriminate action. 

Being busy is most often used as a guise for avoiding the few critically important but uncomfortable actions.


Tim Ferris, Tools of Titans

Much (possibly the majority) of what Tim Ferris peddles is snake oil that lacks evidence. That being said, I have highlighted many, many passages in Tools of Titans. This was one of those sections. 

My To Do list usually has two or three truly important tasks and 10 to 20 distractions. 

“Being busy” is often a code for “these distractions are keeping me from what I really want (and really need) to accomplish today”. 

how to stay happy

are my intentions good? will my decisions unneccessarily hurt others? am i speaking kindly to others? am i validating other people’s feelings and listening? have i had enough water, food, and sunshine today? what have i done to earn a sense of accomplishment for today? have i answered “how am i feeling today?” with something other than food/drugs/alcohol? did i tell my family i love them? are my needs and wants clearly catergorized? did i shower and put on clothes? have i been to doctors and dentists? are my animals well loved and fed and groomed? is my house clean enough to be functional for everyone who lives here? am i looking for a new way to be happier? always.

How to start studying - 12tips&tricks
  1. Remind yourself how grateful you are for having the opportunity to learn something new everyday. 
  2. Make your bed (I know. It may sound silly but seriously, it helps) 
  3. Go to the bathroom and do what you need to do. Then, splash some water in your face to wake you up (because we are all tired)
  4. Prepare your study desk/place. Take away anything that may distract you. 
  5. Write down the things you want to study/accomplish today.-  A quick review of Administrative Law? Read a book of Commercial law? You sit there and you’ll know what to do. Ideas doesn’t come from inactivity. 
  6. Go get your books and notes
  7. Grab some highlighters and pens. 
  8. Get a healthy snack and some water. - In my case, today I picked some grapes and a cup of tea. :)
  9. Pick a powerful study playlist. - I’d recommend some baroque music, movie soundtracks, jazz or electro (for hardcore subjects). It’s better when there are no lyrics in it.
  10. Turn off your phone. OR if you really need it, put it on silent mode. Just ignore all the notifications. 
  11. Take a deep breath. Remind yourself who you want to be in the future and what does it take to be that person. The answer (most of the time) is stydying. The fact that you aren’t were you want to be should be enough motivation. 
  12. START. Make it yours. Own it. - You got distracted? It doesn’t matter. START AGAIN. And again and again. Until you accomplish your goal for today. 
studyblr question tag ✿

thank you for tagging me @alilstudying xx

1. What [subjects] are you currently studying?

ap lang, h world civ, h alg II, h anatomy & physiology, german II, painting, and 2d art

2. Who would you say is your biggest influence?

definitely my parents. they’re immigrants from mexico and have gone through so many obstacles to get to where they are today. they have accomplished so much from having absolutely nothing. they make me realize how privileged i actually am. i just want to make them proud. i love them so much.

3. What’s one country you’d like to visit?

this is so hard!!! i want to go everywhere!!! okay, ummmm… definitely Japan since i love the food and culture! but i would also love to visit Germany or the Netherlands or Greece or Spain or Mexico or Dominican Republic… traveling is a huge passion of mine.

4. What’s your favorite book?

i don’t read that often; maybe the catcher in the rye by j.d. salinger or 1984 by george orwell

5. What do you do to keep yourself motivated?

i just think about the future and my dreams. i just envision myself doing what i love. seriously, nothing motivates me more than picturing myself being successful.

6. What language(s) would you like to learn?

japanese, french, korean — learning languages is another passion of mine

7. Which holiday do you prefer, Halloween or Christmas?

christmas!! — i love everything about the season! everything seems a lot brighter and happier during this time. plus, being mexican + christmas season = pozole and tamales

8. How old are you?

sixteen; seventeen in december.

9. Favorite season?

winter! — bc christmas! and i love snow and cold weather. i hate sweating and feeling hot. i am insane lol.

10. Who is your favorite band/singer?

i’ll just name 5… the weeknd, frank ocean, fka twigs, asap rocky, and majid jordan. i am a huge fan of rnb & hip hop, but i really like all types of music.

11. Have you had a good day today?

well, i am on spring break. i am getting 8+ hours of sleep, less stressed (for now) and my skin is clearing up, so i would say it’s been pretty good.

i tag: @sharknctes @hobifulstudies @studyblrsarah @peachacademics @vivalastudy @hadleystudies @studynapz and anyone who wants to do it … (sorry if you have already done this xx)

The Original Cool Girl

Urban Dictionary defines “cool girl” as “a girl who is not a girlfriend. Shares interests, hangs with, and (optionally) sleeps with a man she is interested in. Inevitably she becomes a ‘cool girl’ and becomes ineligible for girlfriend status” or “a mythological being based on the concept that there are women out there that are not bloodsucking, money-grubbing whores.” (Ummm, I’m not sure what women you’re dating that at bloodsuckers, but clearly you’re in the wrong fetish. Also, sex should always be optional.) 

Caroline Bingley is the original Cool Girl, but she’s the Cool Girl no one wants to be. (Believe me, I know from personal experience that you don’t want to be in love/pursue your brother’s best friend. It doesn’t end well.) The term “accomplished woman” seems a little dated for today’s times, but it can easily translate into our definition of the Cool Girl. 

“No one can be really esteemed accomplished who does not greatly surpass what is usually met with. A woman must have a thorough knowledge of music, singing, drawing, dancing, and the modern languages, to deserve the word; and besides all this, she must possess a certain something in her air and manner of walking, the tone of her voice, her address and expressions, or the word will be but half deserved.” 

This 19th century Cool Girl definition is less applicable in a 21st century light, and personally, I don’t like Urban Dictionary’s definitions. I think they’re not thorough enough, and honestly, I can’t get past the phrase “bloodsucking, money-grubbing whores”–going out on a limb and assuming that this phrase was written by a particularly bitter guy. Also, my understanding of the Cool Girl is that she is exactly what guys want to date, not that she becomes “ineligible for girlfriend status.” 

I will turn to the most accurate definition I’ve ever found of this phenomenon: Gillian Flynn’s Gone Girl.

Men always say that as the defining compliment, don’t they? She’s a cool girl. Being the Cool Girl means I’m a hot, brilliant, funny woman who adores football, poker, dirty jokes, and burping, who plays video games, drinks cheap beer, loves threesomes and anal sex, and jams hot dogs and hamburgers into her mouth likes she’s hosting the world’s biggest culinary gang bang while somehow maintaining a size 2, because Cool Girls are above all hot. Hot and understanding. Cool Girls never get angry; they only smile in a chagrined, loving manner and let their men do whatever they want. Go ahead, shit on me, I don’t mind, I’m the Cool Girl. 

Let’s compare Gone Girl’s definition with Caroline Bingley’s definition of an accomplished woman–a definition that I will assume she extends to include herself, though she doesn’t state this connection explicitly. Caroline Bingley may or may not be an accomplished woman by her own definition, but it remains that she is the Cool Girl no one wants to be. Just think of the up-keep!

Elizabeth Bennet is not afraid to call out Darcy and Caroline as they harpoon the general public of women who do not meet their standard of an accomplished woman.

“I am no longer surprised at your knowing only six accomplished women. I rather wonder now at your knowing any…I never saw such a capacity, and taste, and application, and elegance, as you describe united.” 

Men actually think this girl exists. Maybe they’re fooled because so many woman are willing to pretend to be this girl…I’d want to grab that poor guy by his lapels or messenger bag and say: The bitch doesn’t really love chili dogs that much–no one loves chili dogs that much! And the Cool Girls are even more pathetic: They’re not even pretending to be the woman they want to be, they’re pretending to be the woman a man wants them to be. 

This leads me to the conclusion that the Cool Girl is simply a mask, contoured, Maybelline’d, and sculpted, to lure men. Temptation to be the Cool Girl is seductive. But who wants to put up with a guy’s shit just because it’s easier than being alone, or it’s too much work to look for something better, someone who allows you to be yourself, without your mascara mask. 

I’m not the Cool Girl.

I never will be. In high school, I always wanted to be one, though. You know, the girl who always dresses perfect, wears heels to class like all the girls on Pretty Little Liars

But I listen to Legally Blonde the Musical while I workout. I can no longer watch Law & Order because I get too paranoid. I love the Twilight series. I genuinely enjoyed watching Bratz the Movie with Chelsea Kane and PLL’s Janel Parrish.

And I hold out hope that I’m going to magically come across Rupert Grint someday and live happily ever after in his estate in Hertfordshire. 

(I once read that he ended up at a fan’s house because he was just too nice to say “no.” That could have been me–she says half-kidding, half-deliriously hopeful.)

But I can honestly say that it’s a whole lot easier being yourself than maintain an image of a fake you. I think being Caroline Bingely would be exhausting. She seems like the kind of girl who is always on, and why wouldn’t she be when she’s trying to catch a husband? Elizabeth Bennet never tried to be something she was not. She always seems to say the first thing that pops into her head–even if it was not necessarily the best thing to say/do. 

I admire her for sticking to her guns in a time when women needed to lock down a man as quickly as possible. As Charlotte Lucas phrased it, “In nine cases out of ten, a woman had better show more affection than she feels.” 

In 1813, Charlotte was entirely right–as demonstrated by Bingley’s easily persuaded mind when Darcy convinced him of Jane’s indifference. 

It just makes so much sense. In a time when marriage was really a woman’s only means for survival in the world, I understand Charlotte’s logic. It becomes even more influential when you consider the Bennet family’s estate was entailed to their cousin–a cousin who Elizabeth refused to marry upon principle.

I’d like to think I’d have the courage of Elizabeth under similar circumstances, but I’m not sure I would. 

I know for certain that I am not the Cool Girl, not one of those girls who has a lot of guy friends, not particularly interested in sports or video gaming. I’m not interested in creating a different version of myself just to find a man. 

But sometimes being a fake version is easier than being yourself, than opening yourself up for someone to really get to know. But vulnerability isn’t necessarily a weakness. There’s always the risk that someone won’t like you once they get to know you. But there’s a Darcy out there for every Elizabeth. Of this, I am certain. And I will find him. (And by “him,” I mean both Rupert Grint and Darcy.)

5 Questions To Ask Yourself This Morning To Advance Your Career

Finding the right questions to ask is also tough, but you’ll find that these five can help you evaluate exactly where you are, exactly where you want to go, and how you’re going to get there:

1) What Did I Learn From Yesterday?

2) What Is My Goal for Today?

3) Do I Like Where I Am?

4) Where Do I Want to Be?

5) What Can I Do Today to Get Closer?

Here’s why these are important questions to ask.

tag game

tagged by @studytherin thank you so much!!:)

1. what subjects are you currently studying?

philosophy, math, physics, literature, english and chemistry 

2. who would you say is your biggest influence?

my family 

3. whats one country you would like to visit?


4. what’s your favourite book?

too hard, i think ‘i’ll give you the sun’ 

5. what do you do to keep yourself motivated?

i think about the future, all the things i want to accomplish

6. what language would you really like to learn?

italian? korean? norwegian? french? 

7. what holiday do you prefer, christmas or halloween?

CHRISTMAS is my fave 

8. how old are you?


9. whats your favourite season?

fall is fave 

10. who is your favourite band/singer?

i don’t have one 

11. have you had a good day today?

yes, so far so good!:)

i’m tagging : @sortastudying @studynessy and everyone who wants to do this! just say i tagged you.

There’s one thing that always gets me emotional, no matter what. Watching the growth of eSports throughout the years has been an incredible journey. From championships that had 200 seats to selling out the biggest stadiums in the world in a matter of seconds. I’ve been a gamer my entire life, and watching this passion of mine grow has been nothing sort of extraordinary, and I am truly honored to be a part of this industry alongside all of you. Gaming isn’t some ugly hobby that you hide in your basement anymore, it’s one of the biggest entertainment industries on the planet, and it’s something that I’m going to be involved with for the rest of my life. I want to thank everyone who has ever played a video game from the bottom of my heart, what’s been accomplished today would’ve been impossible without the groundwork laid by those before us. There is nothing that fills my heart with more joy than watching a stadium full of people cheer at an amazing play, to hear the roar of the crowd shake the very foundation of the building. I love the video game industry more than anything else in my life, and I love each and every single person who’s supported it in one way or another. Game on, my friends.

Dating Kwon Soonyoung (Hoshi) Would Include-

- ok but this small bean would shower you in compliments 25/8 and he even did it before you were dating

- “oh hey (name) you look nice today. like always”

- ok but if you compliment him back he’ll get all shy and blushy and you’re just like bOI

- he will do aegyo for you if you’re sad and dance to beyonce songs to cheer you up

- speaking of beyonce

- if you have a little accomplishment he’ll be more proud than you are and be like-


- ok he’s just so cute and loves cuddles and kisses and pda and love ok

- so make sure you shower him in those things because it will make him happy for the whole day 

- ok but if he has an interview and is asked about you he’ll get so excited and will lose subject and just say what he loves about you which is literal everything about you

- he’ll say something really cheesy like “you’re my whole world” and mean it and he’s just so loving towards you

- ok but let’s be real he’ll teach you all the dances and he’ll start rambling on how cute and perfect you are when you make a little mistake

- ok but if you comment how perfect this bean is he’ll get so embarrassed and it will mean a lot to him

- ok but he gets childishly jealous

- you’re sitting on the couch? jealOUS WHY ARENT YOU SITTING ON HIS LAP? you’re petting a dog? wHY ARENT YOU RAKING YOUR HANDS THROUGH HIS HAIR?

- ok but he loves getting surprise kisses from you he just lives for them ok

- he’ll liking kissing your cheek and holding your hand a lot

- he seems like the type to put your hands in his pockets if they get cold


- flippity flop stop being perfect

- ok but lowkey has a photo album on his phone filled with pictures of you sleeping ok (i promise u this bean isnt a stalker he just loves u very much and wants to see ur pictures when hes away on tour since he misses you a lot)

- ok but dating this boy will mean a lot of love, pda, complimENTS, PLAYFUL FITES AND DANCING AND DSJHFSJDHGSJDH ok fLUFF

Dating Series Masterlist

To Do List for Monday, March 20th

Nate recommended yesterday that I scale back my self-expectations for a single day so I can actually get what I want to do accomplished, so here is my revised Translation To Do List for today:

  • 2 FTEs
  • small request

Depending on how awake I can manage to stay today, there might be extra stuff I finish, but for my own sanity this is what I’m going to commit to for today.



Today I gave myself a little bit of “me time”, but also did everything I wanted to accomplished today. I finished revising and learning my Constitutional law notes. One of my favorite subjects 💖
Also I cooked nice breaking and delicious lunch. It’s so important to give yourself a reward for hard work ✊
Yesterday I did 7 pomodoro sessions and today only 6,but all of them were really productive. I don’t know what I’m gonna do tomorrow because of Nowruz.
Have a nice time of the day wherever you live.

(ok,sorry I can’t take nice and high quality pics,but I’m trying my best)

Article: Subtleties in Markings

Something a lot of people already know in the furry fandom is what their character looks like, but what if you want to accomplish something more specific or want to make a new character with different goals in mind? Today I’d like to discuss a topic about subtleties. What can certain subtleties do to make a character “read” or “feel” a certain way?

In addition to that, what if you have a body type that doesn’t match your character, but you’d still like to work with what you’ve got? This article will explore fursuit character design elements and aesthetics like dimorphism and body shape.


Dimorphism is differences in shape that can be pushed to make a character “read” as a more masculine or feminine shape, other times these elements can be diminished to be ambiguous, or mixed to make a character more, or less, androgynous.

Let’s take a moment to think of examples of dimorphism. When you think about human dimorphism, it is often physical characteristics of areas such as chest and hips. On animals, lions are an obvious example; Dimorphism is present in a mane or not. In other animals, dogs for example, body structure can sometimes be ambiguous, but dimorphism can be seen more clearly in the face and head structure. Studying the differences in your target animal species by appearances reflected in their dimorphism can help you bring those exaggerations over to your costume creations.

Male Siberian husky, left, and female Siberian husky, right, showing dimorphism in face and head structure, as well as size difference – but size difference may not be able to be accomplished in a costume piece.

Now think about how certain shapes and strokes (on a basic level) can feel more masculine or feminine, harder or softer. Its always really subtle, but this can be another aspect of exaggeration when designing both a character’s markings or foam shaping for a certain look. On their own, some examples are extremely subtle, but with additional features it can complete the dimorphic look of a character.

Masculine-reading hard strokes & shapes
*Angles, such as jagged or sharp shapes
*Square shapes and straight lines
*Triangles and wedge shapes
*Thick or heavy lines

Feminine-reading soft strokes & shapes
*Curves, such as scallop or smooth shapes
*Circles and curved lines
*Rounded and tapered shapes
*Thin or delicate lines

Exploring this, we can try to think of examples of these themes that could be used in a character’s markings to emphasize body type. For a character to read more masculine, an upper body marking near the chest can form a sharp V with a straight stomach line. For a character that is intended as more feminine, the body marking near the chest can form a U shape with a curved, hourglass shaped stomach line.

In using these themes in a head base sculpt, they can also be applied to the underlying shape of the character. For a masculine head shape the features can be more angled, forming more chiseled and structured features. For a feminine head shape, the features can be made softer and rounder, and with more delicate features. These are of course examples of the extremes, but you can decide on the right balance for your character’s design, especially if your goal is something androgynous or ambiguous.

We can think about using these shape concepts to our advantage when designing a character to have a certain dimorphic aesthetic during the planning stages of the character creation process and when sculpting headbases and making decisions on facial features.

Body Shape

What if you want to emphasize a different body type from your own? Say for example the wearer of the costume is a thin person, but you want the character to have a chubbier look to it, or if the opposite is desired. Or even if someone with a feminine build wants a character to have masculine proportions to diminish their body shape, again, or if the opposite is desired.

Body shape elements do not have to end up being fully padded costumes, they can be present in marking design choices, or even body proportions such as in the head and paw sizing, or down to the head shape – these are ways if you choose not to take advantage of any padding at all, you can still have the ability to make a character have a certain “feel” to it.

When considering the size you want your character to look in the end, know that your character is already going to be larger-than-life. So proportions can play a big role in having a large or small appearance. A proportionately large head can make the wearer’s body look smaller. A very small head will make the wearer’s body look bigger in proportion. So big head and big paws can all serve to reduce and diminish a human body shape, or a person’s size. It definitely takes careful balance though. Because too-big heads on a person with a thin build can set off thoughts of big-headed mascots or bobblehead-style toys to your audience. However, this sort of size may be more appropriately suited to someone who is a person with a larger build. So your, or your wearer’s, body type should be considered in the character design process so you can stay proportionate.

If your character is a solid color, and marking color changes aren’t in play, definitely consider playing with proportions. Wanting to look proportionately skinnier in-suit means bigger paws, bigger head, bigger feet. If on the other hand you want to show off your body size, a smaller head and smaller paws can serve to do this.

Color and fabric choice proportions are another excellent way to make a wearer look thinner or wider. Many characters feature color changes but those who are one solid color can rely on fabric changes in patterning, from a shorter to a longer pile fur in the chest, tummy, and/or sides. Deliberately planning these marking and fabric changes when you pattern and how wide or narrow they appear can affect the final look of a character. Making them “feel” wider, thinner, or even dimorphic.

This character, Binturong, uses fabric changes to outline the tummy width, additionally, the fabric changes given were patterned as hard and straight lines.

If using white secondary markings as an example, a lot of white on a tummy makes a body look wide, a little strip of white on a tummy makes a body look thinner. If you want the look of a wide chest, angled white into a V makes a wide look to the chest and a small strip below it makes a thin-looking tummy. Another shape associated with “softness” is rounded edges. Using those can make the character look “softer” visually, especially if you are aiming to create a soft chubby character look.

This character, Beef Jerky, was intended as an ambiguous character, but because I pushed the soft, round shapes, it is more often that this character ends up reading as “feminine” due to the subtitles in the markings and facial shaping, not just due to the performer’s body shape.

I hope this article gives you some thinking points on fursuit character design subtleties and how you want your character to look. Try drawing different concepts discussed in this article on varying characters featuring different body types and see how you can make them look!

june 29, 2016.

Today I start listening to my soul.

I will do what I want, eat what I crave, drink what I want, write whatever comes to mind, speak how I feel, and love with my heart. I do not need a relationship to feel loved. I do not need company at night to feel happy. I am capable of giving all those things to myself and those around me. Anything I want to accomplish, I can do so on my own.