this is not what i wanted to accomplish today

Food is just food and doesn’t have a natural mealtime. This is especially important to remember when you’re dealing with mental illness that makes it hard to eat.

When I’m in a down swing with my depression, I forget to eat/don’t feel like eating. When I do get around to eating, often the only thing I want is something like pancakes, or milk, or apple sauce. And of course it’s 6pm and I feel lame for eating ‘breakfast’ foods. Or it’s 8am and I want fried chicken, and feel like a terrible person for eating dinner at 8 in the morning.

But food is just food. We assign certain foods to certain times of day culturally, but it’s not a biological thing. Your body can digest pizza at 9 in the morning and yogurt at 11pm. Are you eating food? Yes? Then great! It doesn’t matter what ‘kind’ of food you’re eating, as long as you’re nourishing that body of yours. It’s ok to have cheap ramen for breakfast if that’s all you can stand to eat. That’s ok–you ate food today!! That’s a major accomplishment when you’re dealing with an illness that tries to stop you from doing everyday person things. (Especially if you’re recovering from an eating disorder.)

Don’t feel bad if you eat rice for breakfast or muffins for dinner. Food is just food.

colorful headcanons.
  • ( send me a copic color for a headcanon )
  • frost blue: does your muse enjoy the snow and cold? or are they the type to enjoy summer more?
  • peacock blue: is your muse honest? what sorts of lies do they tell, if not?
  • lapis lazuli: does your muse prefer the idea of exploring the depths of the oceans, or the boundless expanses of space more?
  • reddish brass: how likely is your muse to step up and take the role of a leader? are they willing to take the challenge, or are they more apt to being a follower?
  • burnt umber: how stable is your muse, mentally and/or emotionally?
  • champagne: does your muse drink (alcohol)? are they a heavy drinker, if so?
  • tea orange: what is something that your muse is fascinated with?
  • malachite: has your muse ever done anything that they winded up feeling incredibly guilty for in the end?
  • olive: is your muse prone to feeling envious of others? if yes, what is it that they typically feel envious over?
  • vermillion: is your muse courageous, or would they consider themselves to be more of a coward?
  • coral: what is your muse's romantic and sexual orientations?
  • bougainvillaea: would your muse consider themselves as blunt, or do they beat around the bush instead?
  • currant: what's something that absolutely disgusts your muse (can be a person, place, thing, ect)?
  • crimson: how passionate is your muse about the things they love most?
  • raspberry: what food and/or drink can your muse not get enough of? do they indulge in it often, or is it something reserved for special occasions?
  • baby blossoms: does your muse have a favorite scent? what is it, and why?
  • mallow: what sorts of things might remind your muse of those close to them? any scents, objects, sounds?
  • aubergine: does your muse prefer the day, or are they more of a night-owl?
  • acacia: how much does it take for your muse to hate someone?
  • cadmium yellow: what subjects or topics does your muse avoid, because they bring up harmful / painful memories?
  • honey: when your muse loves someone (whether it be romantic, platonic, or familial love), how do they show it?
  • chartreuse: if you had to describe your muse with a color, what color would it be and why?
  • anise: when it comes to self-care, what does your muse do to take care of themselves? do they take care to spend time on it, or do they feel they don't deserve it?
  • new leaf: what message would your muse send to their past self, if any?
  • moss: how easily does your muse adapt to any new situations they're thrust into?
  • silk: does your muse care about appearances much? do they spend a lot of time on their own appearance, or do they just go with the flow each day?
  • sanguine: does your muse typically have an optimistic, pessimistic, or some middle ground outlook on life?
  • atoll: if your muse could go anywhere, without any restrictions whatsoever, where would they go? why would they go there?
  • cool grey: if your muse could ensure one thing for certain in their future to come, what would it be?
  • black: does your muse have a 'bucket list?' list some things your muse wants to accomplish before they die.
Studying with Mental Illness: Self-Care
  • Eating and Drinking:
    Make sure you eat food, and drink water regularly. Carry a water bottle everywhere you go if it helps. I always have a water bottle, and something I can snack on in my bag, because I tend to forget otherwise. Eat healthy foods where you can, but honestly, something is better than nothing. Take the time to eat, and drink. Nutrition and hydration is important for fueling your body and will help you focus, and stay focused. 

  • Taking breaks:
    These are necessary. It doesn’t have to be long, but you should aim to take at least five minutes every hour, and some longer ones here and there. It can be hard to stay focused, and you can burn yourself out easily if you try and study for hours on end, day after day. Listen to your needs. Getting a headache? Take a short break. 

  • Mental Health Days:
     We’ve all had those days where we’ve had good intentions to write notes on some chapters, maybe work on an assignment, read a chapter in the text book, or whatever, only to wake up, and feel like our mental illness is getting the better of us, and study just isn’t on your radar. It’s okay to take a day off to do something mindless, or enjoyable, or relaxing. It’s important to take these days when we need too. Don’t feel ashamed to take a day off for your mental health. 

  • Socialising:
    Go to that party, catch up with that friend for coffee, Skype with that friend, catch up with your dash board, or Facebook news feed, whatever it is, it’s okay to do those things. Just as long as you don’t always do those things. Not letting yourself do those things, especially when you’ve been struggling with mental illness and motivation to study, and you take your socialising away from yourself entirely as punishment, can contribute to the cycle of not studying. Find a balance that works for you.

  • Talk to someone:
    A therapist, a friend, a significant other, sibling, parent, teacher, whoever. If you trust them, and ask if it’s okay to talk to them about things that are bothering you/going on for you, then you should talk to them. Talking about things can really help you to start working through things one by one when it all seems overwhelming, and upsetting. Also, don’t be afraid to let your teachers/professors know that you are going through difficult times. Utilise the programs and resources your school/college/university has to offer. Ask for that extension if you need it.

  • Exercise/Stretching:
    It’s good to not only have a regular routine for your overall physical health, and fitness, but during your study sessions, it’s also good to get up, and move around, and do some stretches every once in a while. Just like with taking breaks, you can use those break times to incorporate some movement. Get up, walk around the house, stretch, do some star jumps (I think some people call them jumping jacks???). I am terrible with exercise regimes. I am working on trying to include walking around the block, weights and resistance, and other things into my week, because I know that exercise is supposed to help with focus, and my overall physical health. And it’s supposed to help with mental health too.

  • Sleep:
    Get some sleep, and get some good sleep! 7-9 hours of good quality sleep per night, is ideal for most people. Know yourself, and how much sleep you need. I personally need about 8 hours, anything less and I struggle. Sleep can be hard if you’re struggling with insomnia (I do) but giving yourself as much opportunity to sleep as possible (within reason), will really help. Also, taking naps during the day can really be helpful. I often take short naps when I get home from classes, because I find it helps me to consolidate the knowledge better, and revitalises my body, and my mind for me to continue with my day, as classes take a lot out of me mentally, and physically. Don’t stay up all night, you’re better off getting some sleep earlier, and getting up earlier. And take naps if you need too!

  • Be fair to yourself: 
    This is really important. Know your needs, and treat yourself fairly. Even if you don’t get everything done that you wanted, even if you had to take a mental health day when you have so much to do, it’s okay. Your feelings are valid, and you are not weak/worthless/incompetent/insert other self-hating statement here. You’ve done so well to accomplish what you have managed today. You are amazing. 

    This is the last post to my post series Studying with Mental Illness:  Some Ideas for Studying, Motivation, and Self-care. Here can find my general post, studying post, and motivation post. Thank you for reading. I know these ideas won’t work for everyone, but I hope that they might be useful to someone. Take care. 

Me: Starting today, I am going to budget my money, eat healthy, fix my sleep schedule, and I am going to manage my time to ensure what I need to accomplish gets done.

Me the next day: Yesterday I spent eight dollars on a bag of chocolate, ate the entire thing in one sitting, didn’t go to sleep until 3am, and all I did was watch RIP Vine compilations :)

hufflebee  asked:

prompt: alec finding out pride month is a thing, that gay clubs exist and asks magnus is they could go to one (bc alec finding out about safe lgbt+ spaces makes me so happy)

“all month?”

“yes, for the third time, all month!” magnus laughed at the ecstatic, almost goofy smile on alec’s face as they sat on the couch facing each other, magnus’ arms around alec’s neck and alec’s hands running up and down his sides in a soothing and comforting way.

"so it’s like….one big party,” alec chewed on his lip in a way that magnus found adorable, his brow furrowed as he thought it all out. “one big, happy, proud party.”

magnus’ smile was as soft as the sound of wind chimes. “yes, my love. it’s where you can celebrate who you are with people who understand and accept you and love you. but ‘party’ is too meager of a word to describe pride. it’s….well, it’s a time to rejoice, to look at the world and say this is who I am and everyone around me loves me for that and even though pride month is only, of course, one month long, that pride and happiness does not go away. you meet so many wonderful people there and it’s colorful and there’s so much unity and love and joy in the air that you feel like you can fly.”

alec was quiet for a second, but the smile on his face and the hope in his eyes was louder than words could ever be. “can we go?” he asked and magnus almost swooned at how beautiful he looked in that moment. he chuckled warmly and rested his forehead against alec’s.

"of course, darling. i’ll hold your hand the entire time and kiss you lots because I want the world to know that you are my beautiful boyfriend,” he kissed alec on both cheeks and poked one of them with his finger. “i could paint a rainbow flag on your cheek when we go, if you want. and we could invite everyone else to go, too.”

“ i would like that. i want to go with just you first, though. so we can be together and i can show you off,” alec said mischievously and nuzzled magnus’ cheek as his boyfriend laughed, his warm breath tickling his skin.

“i want my first pride to be with you so it can be about just us. so i can be proud of you and all you have been through, of us and what we’ve accomplished together, and of me and how far i’ve come to be who i am today. but yeah, i’d love to go with everyone someday.” alec pulled magnus in for a kiss, humming against his lips and tasting of mint and something so sweet and familiar and alec .

"i still have to take you to a gay club someday. i think you would love it.” magnus added thoughtfully when he pulled away and alec’s eyes were as huge as saucers.

"there are gay clubs, too?! that’s so amazing, beyond amazing!!!!! tell me all about them!!!!! is there one nearby that we can go too? what are they like? this is fantastic, magnus! wow, i’ve regained hope in mundanes.” alec replied breathlessly and magnus giggled, already murmuring “yes” against alec’s lips as he repeated the phrase “can we go?” at least ten times before their mouths met for a loving and tender kiss.

pulse shooting

exactly one year ago today was the shooting at pulse… and i know no one cares anymore and only like 3 people might see this but i’m too scared to voice this anywhere people i know irl will see it
when i found out, i was sitting at my grandma’s breakfast room table. we were looking at places for our next family reunion. i opened the computer to look at cabins… and as google loaded, i saw the news link… “more than 50 injured in mass shooting in orlando.”
my mom asked me what was taking so long, but i couldn’t answer. i was in so much shock because of what had happened… i couldn’t speak, or even move. once i had gotten over the initial shock, i helped to research cabins, but it wasn’t the only thing on my mind. this horrible thing had happened and i knew nothing. i opened articles, read what had happened. it was a gay night club on latinx night. this wasn’t just a mass shooting. it was a mass shooting done with the intent of being a hate crime. we went throughout the rest of the day, the younger ones wondering why some of the flags were being flown at half mast and some weren’t, and the older ones explaining that it was nothing for them to worry about. hell, i was told it was nothing for me to worry about. i was forced to research it and keep myself updated. 34 injured, 26 dead. i asked my grandma what she felt about what had happened. she told me that if she were there, she would have stopped the man or died trying. i asked her husband, he said he would stop the man and protect my grandmother or die trying. 42 injured, 35 dead. I asked my other grandfather what he felt. he said if he would’ve been there, he might not have stopped him. to this day i’m not sure how to feel about that. 48 injured, 38 dead. i lay in bed that evening, trying to make sense of why this event is affecting me at this level. is it because i knew what happened soon after it happened? is it because i’m part of the lgbt+ community? that day was the first time it really seemed like a community to me. as i try to learn more, i find that there was a near-bombing at san francisco pride the day before. my friend was there. she could’ve been… gone. 53 injured, 49 dead. the gunman shot himself after shooting all the others. 53 injured, 49 dead. he could never count in the casualties, the casualties are his fault in the first place. 53 injured, 49 dead. a week later i read a buzzfeed article that gives the audio of his phone call to the police. he claims to worship allah and be part of isis. i’m not muslim, but i’m almost certain there’s something in their holy book about peace. 53 injured, 49 dead.
today i read an article about kaliesha andino, who was injured there. she is still struggling, fighting to recover.
omar mateen, if you’re somehow reading this from hell, are you happy? is this what you wanted to accomplish? was it worth it?
i’m going to end this with the names of those who died. that is the only appropriate way to end it, i think.

Stanley Almodovar III, 23 years old
Amanda L. Alvear, 25 years old
Oscar A. Aracena Montero, 26 years old
Rodolfo Ayala Ayala, 33 years old
Antonio Davon Brown, 29 years old
Darryl Roman Burt II, 29 years old
Angel Candelario-Padro, 28 years old
Juan Chavez Martinez, 25 years old
Luis Daniel Conde, 39 years old
Cory James Connell, 21 years old
Tevin Eugene Crosby, 25 years old
Deonka Deidra Drayton, 32 years old
Simón Adrian Carrillo Fernández, 31 years old
Leroy Valentin Fernandez, 25 years old
Mercedez Marisol Flores, 26 years old
Peter Ommy Gonzalez Cruz, 22 years old
Juan Ramon Guerrero, 22 years old
Paul Terrell Henry, 41 years old
Frank Hernandez, 27 years old
Miguel Angel Honorato, 30 years old
Javier Jorge Reyes, 40 years old
Jason Benjamin Josaphat, 19 years old
Eddie Jamoldroy Justice, 30 years old
Anthony Luis Laureano Disla, 25 years old
Christopher Andrew Leinonen, 32 years old
Alejandro Barrios Martinez, 21 years old
Brenda Marquez McCool, 49 years old
Gilberto R. Silva Menendez, 25 years old
Kimberly Jean Morris, 37 years old
Akyra Monet Murray, 18 years old
Luis Omar Ocasio Capo, 20 years old
Geraldo A. Ortiz Jimenez, 25 years old
Eric Ivan Ortiz-Rivera, 36 years old
Joel Rayon Paniagua, 32 years old
Jean Carlos Mendez Perez, 35 years old
Enrique L. Rios, Jr., 25 years old
Jean Carlos Nieves Rodríguez, 27 years old
Xavier Emmanuel Serrano-Rosado, 35 years old
Christopher Joseph Sanfeliz, 24 years old
Yilmary Rodríguez Solivan, 24 years old
Edward Sotomayor Jr., 34 years old
Shane Evan Tomlinson, 33 years old
Martin Benitez Torres, 33 years old
Jonathan A. Camuy Vega, 24 years old
Juan Pablo Rivera Velázquez, 37 years old
Luis Sergio Vielma, 22 years old
Franky Jimmy DeJesus Velázquez, 50 years old
Luis Daniel Wilson-Leon, 37 years old
Jerald Arthur Wright, 31 years old

tl;dr
the orlando shooting was not okay. if you want to hear facts spouted at you from news outlets today, go ahead. sometimes, though, stories are the best way to impact lives.

Nate Bittinger

Rant:

“Man, this past month has been one to say the least.. Not for just myself but so many other people I see struggling. Recently, I feel like I’ve done some growing up. The last couple days I’ve been pretty upset about letting some people go (some other things as well). But, today I woke up with a totally different mentality. Today I woke up saying fuck all the depressing stuff that I’ve been feeling lately. I’ve got goals I’ve set and they need to get done in order to move forward with life. I’ve never been the strongest mentally or physically but today I woke up with a clear mind, knowing what I have set in front of myself and knowing what it takes to accomplish these things. People will come and go, this is a fact. At the end of the day they can be replaced, your time is something that can’t be. So, fueled by the spite in my heart I can promise that I’ll work harder now to accomplish my goals and progress on without them. I’ve always been a firm believer that if you want something bad enough and work for it, you will get it. Regardless, I’ve always had this kind of outlook in life, that I always need to feel like I’m moving forward. I see so many people out drinking every weekend then complain about not having money, etc. I wish I could see more people working at 2am, like myself, than people throwing their time out of the window. Maybe I just haven’t settled yet, who knows. As of now, I have my goals, I have 2-3 people who are willing to progress with me, so let’s get it. I’m sure some people lately may have viewed me as selfish. But, if I’ve learned anything since I’ve graduated college, I’ve learned that with most people these days you have to do what’s best for you instead of catering to everyone around you. I’ve started tracking and really taking all of my goals seriously (gym, job, art). I challenge anyone else to do the same. I don’t care if you want to be the best ditch digger, let’s set goals and let’s crush them. People said they were done messing around in 2015, how far have you really come since? “

Downgraded From A Hurricane (Lin-Manuel x Reader)

Summary: Your husband is a drama queen when he’s sick and you’re stuck taking care of him. You’d never admit it aloud but you’re amused with his antics.

Word Count: 650

Warnings: There’s virtually no plot to this, I stole lines from the video, and Lin is whiny. Other than those three things, nothing really.

A/N: I promised one more post today and here it is, right before I head out for the night. Feel free to continue to yell at me in my inbox or the tags - I live for the feedback tbh and I’d love to have some when I get home tonight.

This is 100% inspired by the beginning of a sad sadsters, this one in fact. You can blame @gratitudejoyandsorrow because she is the reason this even happened.
_____________________________

“Don’t you have work today, honey?” you entered your shared bedroom after just getting back from breakfast with your friend. You were surprised to see Lin still in bed this late in the day.

“I called in sick today.” Lin’s voice was muffled from the pillow his face as buried in but you could hear his hoarse voice and stuffed nose despite it.

“Have you taken any cold medicine yet?” your eyes scan his nightstand for traces of anything he might’ve done to counteract this flu.

“I only have enough energy to accomplish one thing today and I didn’t want my last act on this earth to be getting out of bed to take cold medicine.” Lin said dramatically and you rolled your eyes with a snort.

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Hi! I just wanted to share some great news. I graduated today! After 6 long years of dropping in and out of school, dealing with depression and anxiety and (surprise!) undiagnosed ADHD, I finally got my high school diploma at 20 years old! For anyone reading, if you still have opportunities to get your diploma, take it! Don’t give up! And if you do, keep trying for as long as you can! Even if you don’t get your diploma, you’d be surprised what you can accomplish! Just wanted to share some positivity tonight. :)

First, let me tell you about a few of the constants in my life.

When I wake up each morning, there will be a puddle of drool sloshing atop my pillowcase. I drool in my sleep. This is a constant. I’m like a garden hose that isn’t turned off properly. Another constant: someone has to clean that drool up, and whether it’s my mom or my dad or my brother or my girlfriend, every single day, one of them uses an obscene number of tissues to clean up the lake I’ve created in my sleep. My family is well-acquainted with my spit. Their never-ending care, compassion, patience, and love are powerful constants.

Next, I typically take a shower, though I can’t label this one a constant, as I’m known to occasionally abandon hygiene for days at a time. Why do I need to be clean for a day of writing in seclusion? That’s a joke—mostly.

Then I drink my coffee, and when we aren’t physically together, send a goodmorning text to my girlfriend, Hannah. Over the last year, she has become a beautiful constant in my life, one that I wake up every day grateful to know. I wait for her reply with the relaxing security that we’ll talk throughout the day, sharing our thoughts and feelings and experiences with each other, and always, always moving towards that next time together. Although much of this daily interaction revolves around food and stupid observations and making fun of each other, there’s always that underlying love—that calming feeling that we chose each other and nothing else matters. Her constant love makes each day bright.

I read if time allows it, and most days I listen to the news. By now, I’ve usually burped at least twice to reduce the explosive stomach pressure created by my overnight feeding tube. Morning burps are a disgusting constant for me.

My work at Laughing At My Nightmare, Inc. has become a unique kind of constant that I never expected. What began as a silly little idea to start a company that promotes positivity has grown and blossomed into the incredible charity that we are today. I know that every day our purpose remains crystal clear: to raise funds so that we can get people the equipment they need to thrive. At the same time that we work to accomplish that, we teach people how to live happier lives.

And since I basically just wrote our company mission statement verbatim, I want to make sure the previous constant doesn’t come off as a half-assed promotion snuck into an otherwise deeply personal post.

Working at this charity gives me a daily purpose, a reason to wake up excited. It’s not always easy and it’s not always fun, but we are making an actual difference in the lives of real people. I grew up kind of wondering if I’d ever be able to make a mark on our world with the time I have. It was a fear that distressed me to my core. In the last five years, I’ve learned that I can make a difference, and working towards that gives me such a rush of joy.

So why this obsession with constants?

When you live with a disease like mine, uncertainty is a natural enemy. Will I wake up tomorrow feeling weak or strong? How many more total days will my hands function? A year? Ten? More? Is my insurance going to cover the new treatment for my disease? Will it actually help me? When will my lungs stop working? What if I get sick?

SMA is like a chisel of uncertainty, chipping away at the solid foundation of my body and mind day in and day out.

Constants, then, become a vital defense.

When so much of my future lies in the murky shadow of the unknown, having constants that I can genuinely rely on allows me to look forward without fear or anxiety.

So even though there may come a day when I wake up and find that—oh shit—I can’t breathe on my own any more, I also know exactly what follows that: someone who loves me will grab a tissue and wipe up my drool.

"One month from now"

I have never had the foresight or thought for “one month from now.” I was always too impatient and too unhappy at the moment and I would get so caught up in just wanting to be where I wanted right now at that moment.

So today, out of nowhere, while beating myself up for screwing up, I thought, “Hey, look what you accomplished in just over a month. You’ve dropped 16 lbs. Just think of how great you’ll look in just one more month.“ And it was like a lightbulb went on in my head.

In one more month, I could look fantastic, I could have the gorgeous toned beautiful legs I have always wanted. This is the most motivating epiphany I have ever had.

5/27/17

Saeyoung - Valentine’s Day Special

  After you chose the happiest member, but with a tragic past, as if affected by a spell, you felt tired. Your body was heavy and your eyelids were closing instinctively. Just as if you hadn’t slept for days. You gave up quickly, without reading the messages.

 Some hours later, you woke up feeling a lot better. Unlikely before, your body seemed extremely light. However, you weren’t expecting that.  Everything seemed wrong.

  You were in a strange place, lying on a couch and everything was a mess. What you made you more confused was how that room was identical to Seven’s. After playing his route so many times, you were sure about it.

  While looking around, you found your phone. But seeing all those Honey Buddha Chips made you hungry. You would be so happy to eat it with Luciel.  That’s when someone suddenly appeared.

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I think the first time I watched Wonder Woman I was pretty cynical, like “oh, are they gonna go with this trope?” or “hmm, does this feel awkward at all?” but was pleasantly surprised when everything turned out nicely and the message was really meaningful. The second time I watched it, I was just absorbing every moment. The colors, the score, the character development of both Diana and Steve, the slow-motion action sequences… I cried straight from the end of the rooftop scene with Ludendorff all the way through the sun rising red. It felt good to take off the cynical lens that I’ve grown used to wearing, and to let the hope and beauty and truth of Wonder Woman fully immerse me. Every theme, every meaningful bit of dialogue feels so incredibly relevant – and Diana’s learning curve in particular hits very close to home, because I have definitely been a child who fell very hard for fairytales and then was crushed by the revelation that the real world is much more messed up than that, and so my entire mindset for the past several years has been a fine balance between “humanity doesn’t deserve anything, we’re all to blame” and “maybe it’s not about deserve; it’s about what you believe.” And the way that Diana fights to end fighting for good, the way she wants to help everyone but is told to prioritize, the way she calls out how slow and immoral society’s system has grown, and proves how much can come out of plain old action, is more powerful than any number of superheroes busting up cities over some earth-killing villain. Her story embodies the very real disillusionment with humanity that I think a lot of us feel, especially today. It’s not just an empowering tale for women; she gives us hope in the face of despair, reminding us that even though everything may look like it’s going to shit, even though a handful of world leaders are going at each other with bombs, the majority of people just want to live their lives, and if we actually all got together and followed our conscience we might actually be able to accomplish something good. “They doesn’t deserve your perfection” – yes, we may not deserve Wonder Woman, but she is exactly what we need: the beacon of hope. The insistence that humanity can do noble things in spite of our flaws. And the reminder: heroes are not all about slaying monsters and winning wars. “Only love can truly save the world.”

Happy 20th Anniversary, Buffy!

Happy 20th Anniversary to my all-time favorite show, BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER! Yep, it’s already been 20 years since the first episode of the show that changed my life aired. Buffy is the ultimate underdog show in several different ways, not only it completely blew out genre TV and horror movie conventions, but we’re talking about a show based on a failed movie, premiering on a network nobody watched. Regardless, creator Joss Whedon managed to reinvent the face of television mixing drama, comedy and horror to a heavy Comic Book influence, with amazing storytelling, clever dialogue, envelope-pushing ideas and truly compelling characters. Its influence is felt in basically every fantasy show ‘til today. Joss wanted to create a strong female cultural icon and he accomplished it, creating THE strongest one since Wonder Woman, imho. 20 Years teaching girls to be brave, to stand tall and fight back.
Unforgettable stories were told, such as Hush, a scary silent horror tale; The Body, a claustrophobic music-free episode about death; Restless, a trippy surrealistic episode; The Gift, my definition of sacrifice and what it means to be a hero to this day; and Once More With Feeling, a truly full of heart musical episode which I believe it’s the single GREATEST episode of any show ever!
However, what made it the best show ever for me was what it made me feel. I usually say I didn’t watch it, I LIVED Buffy. I was in High School when the Scoobies were in High School. I stayed with them as we’ve been together through college, first romantic and sexual experiences, heartbreaks, mourning… we’ve been through life together. I laughed with them, cried with them, and they’ve helped me during dark times. I’ve never felt that connection to a show and probably won’t ever experience it again. I’ve learned more about life, feminism, love, growing up, equality, tolerance, prejudice, respect and several other subjects with this show and its clever metaphors than anywhere else. I have no doubt I would be a completely different (and lesser) person without this show in my life. And for that, I will be forever grateful. Happy 20th Anniversary, Buffy. You saved my life. A lot. ❤️

STRESSED OUT

Request Anonymous: “Sebastian pulls his 6 year old step son out of school early to come visit the reader at her office job and they come when she is stressed out? Sorry if it’s long but I love your stuff!”

A/N: I hope you don’t mind, but I changed it from Seb to Bucky, mainly because I don’t feel comfortable writing for actual people. Also, this turned-out way longer than I anticipated

Dad!Bucky x reader

Word count: 1772

Summary: Bucky and his step-son went to give the reader a surprise visit in the office, but things do not go as planned.

Warnings: stress?  idk(GIF not mine)

Originally posted by fiorella-ms99

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anonymous asked:

Do you think she would have announced it even if she got 1st?

Maybe. What I think is that, if she announced it even though she got 1st, she would’ve done it with a smile. 

We’ve all been expecting this kinda thing this year. It either was Yuki or Mayu the first to do it. We’ve been speculating, hoping, wishing for a double graduation event. And who knows, there’s still time, maybe we’ll get one after all. But all of us have been expecting a Mayu/Yuki graduation this year. So it wasn’t really a surprise the graduation per sé, at least for me. What broke my heart wasn’t the graduation announcement. What broke my heart was the fact that she announced it the moment she, and we all, realized that, after all, that wall could not be climbed. It felt like she really was finally letting go. Like she was finally giving up on it out of exhaustion. 
That is what broke my heart, and that’s why, I think that even if she announced it after they announced her #1, she would’ve worn a smile on her face. The circumstances would’ve been different, the message would’ve been different. “I achieved my goal today, I’ve realized my dream, and now I will leave as an accomplished woman.” I would’ve loved to see that, that’s for sure. 

You see, that NGT girl, she made a speech that left a huge impression on me, at least for the part where she mentions Minami. 
She said that she asked Minami if efforts will always be rewarded. She said that Minami’s reply was: “I don’t know if efforts will always be rewarded. What I know is that there’s no such a thing as “working hard for nothing”. And I want you to prove that. I want you to be the next person to prove that efforts will always be rewarded”. And then she asks to Minami, during her speech, “Am I proving that now? Am I proving that efforts will always be rewarded here, right now?!”. But that’s the thing, isn’t it? For every person’s “rewarded effort” there will always be someone else’s “unrewarded” one. That’s how life goes. 

I would’ve loved to see her smiling tonight, tho. I would’ve loved to see her announcing graduation with a smile. A victorious smile on her beautiful, beautiful face.

Finding the right words has been challenging.

Since the moment I opened my eyes this morning I was fighting back the tears. I was trying not to wake my husband with my sniffles. I got up, and cried. I mean just tears falling, and it was at that moment I realized why am I fighting back these tears today? These are happy tears. They remind me of what I’ve done to get here. The challenges and obstacles. The victories and accomplishments.

Today is all about me. And I’m gonna keep smiling and crying as much as my heart wants. Because I earned this. Today is my day.

Thicket's Divination Get-Started Guide

Totally just jump right in there and start dabbling with shit, provided that you don’t summon any spirits. There are methods of divination that are performed by summoning, but don’t you summon. Just stick with some nifty tools for now.

Briefly, grab a pen and paper and ask yourself the following questions:

  • How does divination work?
  • Is it possible to divine without tools?
  • Where does this information come from?

I won’t give you my thoughts on this, because the point is to just question yourself and get the ball rolling. It is totally alright if you don’t have your own concrete answers. Divination worked for me when I didn’t have any answers, and it works for me now that I feel I have answers.

In general, when you divine you are going to ask either specific questions, or you will ask for a general reading and let the tools show you what they will.

For any tool (tarot, runes, scrying, etc) learning how to phrase your questions is vital.

  • It takes special skill to see very far in to the future, or very far in to the past. As a beginner, focus your questions within a range of a couple of months. Once you get a feel for things, try reading a decade in to the future and see the differences in your results.
  • Divination is about INTERPRETATION. Therefore, tools will rarely give you direct answers. If you ask questions that may only be answered directly, you are going to have a bad time. Examples are proper nouns, dates, and numbers. “What is the name of my soul mate” is not going to work with tarot cards.
  • Avoid yes and no questions. Again, it is your job to interpret. “Will I get the job” is not a question that leaves the answer open to interpretation.
  • Avoid “big” questions for now. “What is the purpose of my life” is a pretty epic question. Try, “what can I accomplish today” or “what will my week look like.”
  • Remember to write down your questions! Sometimes, the exact phrasing of a question can matter. It sucks to lay down 20 cards then realize you forgot the exact nature of your question.

Example questions to try out for any system of divination:

  • What is the personality of my soul mate?
  • What was my last past life like?
  • What message does (your higher power) want to send to me right now?
  • What is the biggest obstacle in my life right now? How can I overcome that obstacle?
  • What do I really need to know right now?
  • What is coming up in my life that I need to know about?
  • What is my biggest personality flaw?
  • What is my best personality trait?
  • What am I ready to let go of?
  • What do other people immediately notice about me?
  • What is my biggest fear?
  • What should I meditate on?

Getting started with your tools

When you acquire a deck of cards, a set of runes, throwing sticks, the I-Ching, or a nice book for bibliomancy, start small. If you are in to magic you may want to bless and cleanse your tools. I do not find this to be necessary but if you do, here is a very brief ritual for you:

Take your tool, whatever it may be. Place it on a clean surface. Hold your hand in a triangle shape (thumbs connected, pointer fingers touching). Look through the triangle at your tool. Say these words:

“By Fire, the burning spirit, be cleansed [name of tool].

By Air, the wicked mind, be cleansed [name of tool].

by Water, the rushing blood, be cleansed [name of tool].

by Earth, the graceful body, be cleansed [name of tool].

Sealed by Spirit, you are cleansed.”

Make a gesture of sealing over the tool (I will leave it up to you to make a gesture of your own). It is now cleansed and prepared for use.

Hopefully your tool will have come with a guidebook. If not, simply search for one online. Also have your notebook handy.

Begin by formulating a simple, fairly direct question. “How is my day going to be?” is perfect. Remember to write your question down. Draw a single card, cast a single rune, look for a single image in your cup of coffee. Write down what your results were, and use your guidebook or the internet to look up interpretations to help you out. Right now it’s too early to be looking for specifics. Try for generalities!

If the card, rune, image, etc., is generally good or positive, take this as a good omen. If it is generally negative, take it as a bad omen. If it is mixed or neutral, look for phrases in your guidebook or research that pop out to you. Suppose you ask, “how is my day going to be?” and you draw an oracle card related to glamouring. This is neither good nor bad on it’s own, but perhaps you can interpret that it is necessary to “put on a face” that day.

Write down your interpretations. It is okay if you have multiple or even conflicting interpretations. At the end of the day, return to your notebook and see which interpretation fit your day most closely. Ask yourself, “how did I come to this most correct interpretation?” Perhaps for one interpretation you used intuition, for another you used phrases from the guidebook, and for the third you made a guess. Keep track of how you come to your most correct answers.

Practice often! Acquire as many divination tools as you like and try them all.

Try reading for others. Offer readings on Tumblr or provide them to your friends. When reading for others, you will find that some people want to tell you everything upfront. Try to read with as little information as possible. If you come up with multiple interpretations for others, share all of them and ask your querent to tell you which one fits best. Again, ask yourself, “how did I come to this most correct interpretation?”

If you need someone to practice on, shoot me a message and I will be very glad to sit for you :) I give LOTS of feedback.

Becoming more advanced; reaching that next step

My best advice for anyone who wants to go past dabbling and get a little more serious:

  • Take notes on your readings.
  • Research your system of divination. Read books about it.
  • Experiment with your system of divination. Challenge yourself to try something totally new with it.
  • Practice! Practice practice practice.
  • Try reading for others. It is definitely different than reading for yourself.

My recommended “get started right now” divination tools:

  • Any book for bibliomancy
  • A cup of tea or coffee, with milk, for scrying (drip the milk in to your beverage and observe what images appear)
  • A deck of playing cards
  • Three pennies for the I-Ching (google I-Ching to find out how to use this very cool system of divination)
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Wow. All I can say is thank you, thank you for all the kind messages everyone has sent me. Whether it was on here or twitter, I’m amazed at the responses I’ve been getting. The love and support from this community is one of the things that originally drew me in. I never imagined my art would take me here but I’m thankful that I got to be apart of this charity stream. I want to thank all of those who donated or signal boosted the stream in anyway you could. You all helped an amazing cause today. I’m so proud of all of you and what this community is able to accomplish. <3

Double Date

@writingwife-83 requested a Anthea and Molly get the idea for a double date, much to Sherlock and Mycroft’s chagrin. Luckily our two girls know how to play their boys like a fiddle. 


“Oh do you know what would be fun?” Molly said.

“Hm?” Anthea glanced up from the rack of clothes they were picking through.

“A double date! You and Mycroft, and Sherlock and me.”

Anthea turned with a gasp, eyes alight.

Every once in a while, Anthea would ‘kidnap’ Molly and they’d scurry off to Harrods and spend the day getting absolutely lost in a lovely day of retail therapy. Anthea often said they had their best ides whilst shopping, and clearly, Molly had just happened upon one.

“You mean like a night on the town?”

“Oh no, but it’d be nice, right? The four of us at a restaurant.”

“Hmm. Our respective dates scowling across the dinner table at each other,” Anthea replied with a sarcastic grin.

“So you’ll talk to Mycroft?”

Anthea pulled out her phone. “Consider it done. Come on, let’s go to the lingerie shop. If I’m going to convince Mr. Privacy to come on this double date I’m going to need reinforcements.”

Molly snickered, but followed her lead, deciding a little something for the boudoir wouldn’t hurt her argument when she presented it to Sherlock that evening as well.

That Night…

“Let me get this straight,” Mycroft looked at his wife as they stepped into the shared walk-in closet. “You want for Sherlock and I, two emotionally private people, to go on a double date.”

“Yes,” Anthea said, hanging up her new purchases. “It’d be you and me, and Sherlock and Molly. You adore Molly, don’t tell me you don’t,” she held up a hand just as Mycroft opened his mouth. He shut it for a moment, deciding against lying.

“I don’t dislike her,”

“You adore her,” Anthea repeated.

“Very well, she’s a lovely person and I should dislike anyone but her to be my sister in-law, but that does not mean I want to go on an outing with my brother! Especially on something so intimate as a dinner date!”

“Why? Afraid you might have a good time?”

“It rather ruins the point of a date, which is to spend time with you,”

“Yes but you never spend time with your brother, and Molly and I rarely have evenings free.”

“Wouldn’t it be all the better then if we all spent our time with our respective mates and not at a dinner party?” Mycroft groused. He turned to hang up his suit jacket. “Honestly, the point of a double date, so one can argue about the wine, the bill, listen to him call me fat when we all know I’m not, or-“ he turned to face Anthea again and quite lost his words. Apparently she’d been shopping today. Apparently she remembered he liked her in lace peignoirs.

Apparently Mycroft had lost all ability reason. His stinging argument that would have kept him from the double date went flying out the window as his wife guided him through to the bedroom.

 

That Friday…

Molly and Anthea were happily chatting away, discussing the menu and what they’d accomplished that day. Sherlock and Mycroft sat quietly across from the other, now and then reaching for their respected wine glasses.

“So…how did she convince you?” Sherlock asked.

Mycroft shrugged. “Can’t I simply want to see my brother outside of work-related business?”

There was a pause.

“Molly went shopping that day too.”

Both were silent, glancing at their respected wives, then at each other. With a shrug, they lifted their glasses once more in a silent nod that they were absolutely under their wives thumbs at times, and neither minded one bit.