this is not meant for any of my followers ok

(Still doing the eulogy thing - it’s been a long time coming, ok?)

If I still have any followers around who followed me because of Sleepy Hollow, who reblogged my fangirly posts or angry meta rambles or sent me asks/anons: Thank you. It meant more to me than you’ll know and I enjoyed the ever-loving hell out of all of you and being in the fandom, even if it ended the way it did. 

Shady Hollow, you know we’re family for life as far as I’m concerned, bound together forever by our shared bitterness and misplaced love for this stupid show. 

Orlando Jones: Thank you for being awesome. 

<3

New URL

Hey y’all, just wanted to let you know that I changed my url from @femminazi to @bisexualandcaffeinated . I chose my original url before I understood anything about triggers or PTSD. While I do want to be clear on the fact that, as a Jewish woman, my old url was never meant to offend, I now realize that it is inherently harmful. Additionally, I do not want to deter any new followers or anyone from reblogging my posts because of an outdated url. Thank you for understanding.

Tagging some mutuals and/or people I think might notice.

@informative-feminist @therearelizardsinthepudding @were-all-queer-here @flimsyatbest @thecoolestgay @eccentric-nae @whereiputmystuff  @fakesmilesandlittlewhitelies @el-p13 @fiaspice @aliensunlight @nubianangel @bravelion96 @yes-this-is-not-ok @uniquelyunattrative @theunkolanut @chapsticklesbian1 @southernbitchface @catsandmadteaparties @feminismandhappiness

anonymous asked:

If I was to write a fic for your ABO Futurverse AU how would you feel? Would you be ok with it or are there plans for a fic in the future?

First of all, I’m very flattered and incredibly honored that you like my AU enough to be interested in writing for it! Thank you so much! ;A;

So please don’t think that any of the following is directed at you personally, because it’s really not, it’s much more general. But given the number of times I’ve received similar asks, I also feel the need to reiterate how I feel about asks requesting to tell stories that I am currently creating.

There are many different forms of story telling, and fics are just one of them, and the most common derivative work story telling in English fandom. Comics, while much rarer, are also a legitimate form of story telling. The ABO Future!Verse AU is made up of a series of comics (both oneshots and ongoing), illustrations, and long text headcanons, not necessarily continuous. I have a story to tell, and I’m telling it through these varied mediums. It may not be in fic format, but it’s still a story, no less legitimate than a fic.

I completely understand that given the kinds of content you usually see in English fandoms, many illustrations and comics are very short glimpses into a potential story that don’t go much further than that, which may then be fleshed out by fic. I understand that AUs like my own that have both heavy world building and hyper specific detailed plot but are NOT in fic format are relatively rare.

But please understand that in assuming that my AUs require fic to tell a story, I the creator feel that I am being told that my story-telling is inadequate, that I can only provide supplementary materials so others can play in the playground I’m still in the process of constructing. To me, it is the same as though I were writing a long ongoing fic, and someone comes up to me to ask if they can write my fic. Like, I’m flattered but…I’m writing it? Like right now? I’m working on telling the story? I have so much already detailed, so many things that I am picking and choosing from to share with you that others don’t know about yet, so many things that I’m still developing. I have a “canon” for this AU, a canon that only I currently know.

So again…I’m really glad you enjoy my work and that it inspires you. It’s honestly one of the greatest honors a creator can receive. But at the same time, I’d like to tell my own story, and while part of me would like to say sure! go at it! create for my thing! Another larger part also feels that I haven’t shared nearly enough of the plot or characterization or relationships or anything that other people could create story-content from it, and even if they did, I wouldn’t want to risk accusations of stealing your ideas if it happens to already overlap with something I have planned, so I’d avoid them if possible.

If I have a completed work or a non-plot centric or complicated/specific AU work (for example, just a single image or short comic with no context, meant to be understood as is), knock yourself out, be inspired! I mean credit for inspiration is super appreciated but most people don’t I’ve learned, so no need to even ask really for that? ^ ^; But if it’s something that has a story that I’m telling, so ABO and Inferno really, possibly KnB AU if that goes anywhere, I’d prefer for now if you could leave that playground to me ^ ^;

I hope that made sense, sorry my response got really long! ^ ^;

(also note, this part was originally in the tags but I figured I should move it up to the main text: this is in no way saying don’t write fics that are of similar genre/theme inspired by my work if you like it!

Like ABO? Like poly? Like them both together?? I don’t own that, knock yourself out, I want to see more of it too!! Want to write it with the same specific set of canon characters I used? Go for it!! Want to use parts of the general world building post as a setting for your own completely unrelated story? Permission already granted so long as I’m credited! But my exact plot + my OCs I’d prefer you leave to me ^ ^;

Fanart I tend to be more okay with, in the sense that a single visual depiction of characters isn’t particularly gonna contradict my own canon. Is there a way to do this with writing? Possibly, but it’s more difficult…)

Advice

A/N: so the basic idea for this came from a little scene in The Holiday (If you remember the movie you’ll probably recognize it soon enough?)  It’s another Elucien Modern AU yay :)


Lucien tugged the deep hood back from his face, shaking the frigid rain from his coat as he strode with purpose through the revolving door of the department store.  Generally speaking, he was pretty heavily in the utility over luxury, living a comparatively spartan life when juxtaposed with his peers.

It probably started with his childhood, stereotypical as that sounds, since he’d had more brothers than anyone needs who all enjoyed swiping his belongings and roughing him up for good measure.  He’d only tried going to his parents once each, his father grunted out something about being a man and dealing with it, while his mother took more direct action with his siblings.  Which lead to more roughing up, and a six year old Lucien deciding fewer and less desirable belongings was best for everyone.

Couple this with his brief stint as a soldier, and things end up with an individual who is less than enamored with storing up material objects.

Still, even he has a guilty pleasure in the form of designer silk pajamas.  Really, it was Rhysand’s fault, Rhysand and his stupid gag gifts.  Rolling his eyes with a huff, Lucien stepped quickly onto the escalator, soon tiring of the slow pace and walking up the last half dozen steps, coming face to face with one of the increasingly more realistic ladies lingerie mannequins.

Letting out an impatient grunt to cover his growing blush, you’ve seen a woman before, A real one.

“Excuse me sir, can I help you?”

Startled, Lucien turned somewhat clumsily, “I’m just,” he paused when he finally registered who he was addressing - beautiful rounded cheekbones kissed with blush, a sloping nose spattered with freckles and ending just slightly turned up, and a long slim neck gracefully-

Her cheeks reddened some, now more a natural phenomena than the original rouge created color as she cleared her throat, “Looking for something in particular?”

“Er- yes.  Pajamas.”

She - Elain according to her golden name tag - smirked at that, gesturing behind him with her head, “I could be wrong, but I think you’d prefer a different department.”

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Hey so I'm new to the whole Furby scene and I've just heard about lgfurb and noticed they've interacted with some of my posts in the past.. do you want me to unfollow you because of that? I didn't have them blocked until now because I didn't realise and I feel guilty for having them interact with me because I didn't know better. I don't support any of the stuff they stand for, i'm glad I never followed them and I'm checking now to make sure I didn't unknowingly interact, but what makes you ok?

Oh no no no its is ok,I meant it as people reblogging stuff from lgfurb and interacting with them.I know not everyone is up to speed on them.

I just don’t want anyone who supports them to follow me.your good my guy!

Ok so...

I just went on a huge unfollow spree. Not because I’m upset with anyone or anything like that, but bc I realized I didn’t know practically any of the people I was following (almost 400 blogs!) and over half of them were completely inactive (haven’t posted in over six months) or were simply “aesthetic"blogs I mass followed when I first joined tumblr. If perchance I accidentally unfollowed you, a mutual, with my fat over eager fingers, pls pls pls message me. I didn’t meant to unfollow ant mutuals.

But NOW I need more blogs to follow, and I’m leaning more toward fandom/entertainment stuff these days. So if you post anything for the following or simply just enjoy it, pls like this post so I can check out your blog and follow you.

iZombie
Modern Family
Morcia
Jessica Jones
Young & hungry
Blackish
Brooklyn nine nine
Casual (on Hulu)
Grandfathered
Fresh off the boat
Sleepy hollow
Bob’s Burgers
You’re the worst
last man on earth
Archer
Difficult people
Anything Jane Austen
Grimm (I’m so behind though)
AHS (haven’t started the hotel season)
Classic rom/coms

Also, if you don’t post a lot of those things but still want to fangirl over things, always feel free to message me, with the new system or anons… It doesn’t matter.

In general if you have a blog that posts a LOT of pretty much anything I will check you out. My dash has been a slow sad place lately, and I need to be entertained. And my “follow” is not contingent on you following me back, in case you were wondering.

hey!! this is my ‘thank you for 700+ followers!!’ giveaway!! 

it’s amazing to have gone from about 19 followers to over 700 in a year! thank you so much for following me & saying nice things about my drawings. 

maybe you remember in february when i sent out watercolor valentines to some people…? (see here & here.) this will be kind of like that, but structured like an actual giveaway vs. a first-come-first-serve situation…!

just like before, i’ll be mailing out custom watercolor cards! there will be 3-5 winners (depending on how many people participate lol) chosen on june 6th.

quick conditions:
- please be following me (or any of my side accounts)!
- 1 like & 1 reblog per person, for a total of 2 entries. please don’t use sideblogs for extra entries! 
- request must be a fandom i’m interested in (i.e., 1d or neopets lol). 
- must have a way for me to contact you (askbox open or tumblr IMs) & must be comfortable giving me an address to mail it to. international is OK! 

thanks! bye! 

first off, sorry about this sad edit, i rushed through it in like two seconds so just, yeah. //still crazy pissed that kiras gone so it had to have her in it// and this isn’t exactly a follow forever just more of a blog appreciation, following someone forever isnt really realistic so.  

and secondly, im going on a trip tomorrow so i won’t be online for a week and id thought id make this before i forgot and all of these blogs are my absolute faves, i adore them.  

anyways if you’re not on here, it could just be that we haven’t been following each other for very long or that i dont see you on my dash a lot. regardless i love you all. literally itd gr8 if u all’d be my best friends like rn youre amazing ok. and honestly ive never felt more included in a fandom before, joining you guys was such a good decision (◕‿◕✿) 

shoutout to the lovely networks i am so happy to be apart of:

stilestrashnet liaydennetwork ladypacknet blakesquad

***also if you’re in any of these networks and youre not in here its a mistake youre meant to be in here, let me know if that happens so i can add you***

a-c

adelaidekanie - allisonagrnt - allisonmccalling - allvdia - angelnewtsargentchris - argentsbeta - bansnee - bellamyblak - bellamry - belliamy - bilesbilinksi - blakesmilitia - bluesargeant - bodyshotcal - brasons - bretalbott - calumfood - chervoletimpala - clumhood - codyschristain - coltanhaynes - couldntfake - cutelucas

d-k

danielssharmans - derekhail - detectivesquadstydia - dnbarliam - doritochris- dracmalfoy - dumble-whores-army - dunofficial - dylstrome - everlarkers - ewmurphy - finnick - ghostydiaginyweasleys - groskis - gxnnyweasley - hafbloods - haydenliams - hemmingslip - hemmoan- hommyandzaddy - instapregnant - iriwins - itsmuke - kirayukimura - kitsunaye - kkiitsune

l-q

lashtonpunk - leksarke - liaamdunbaarliamdenbar - liamdnubar - liamdunbrrs - liamdunibar - liamdvnbar - liamshayden - liarmdunbar - liaydan - liemdunbars - lindseymorgns - lonelylocal - lukehcmmings - lydiahs - lydiamcrtin - lydiaparrish - lydiastilinks - lydiastilinks - lydiiasmartins - lydstilinsk- madgesgoldpin - maliatete - maliawerecoyotes - malietates - malydira - mamamccalls - matthewperrys - mattsdaddarios - michael5sos - michaelbjorden - michaelclifford - murphys - natialiedormer - neilmackays - obriensbutt - octaviusblake - obriensbutt - patroculos - pegcartr - perfhood - quiddltch

r-z

raptorsqquad - raven-wick - ravunrxyes - reileyblue - ridicalum - romerohaydns - ronaldweaslay - scottisbae - scottmicall - scottmkcall - sebastianstantrash - sgntsbarnes - sheriffstilynski - sheriffstillinski - snerekhale - sravenreyes - steakpanties - stiilesbanshee - stilescoras - stilesxmartin - stillinskys stopcalum2k15 - stora - stydiaah - stydixa - tonystakrs - trashstiles - tylerioseph - unofficialrockstar - unresists - vodkaclifford - wandamavximoff - wolfedhale 

+blogroll containing other amazing blogs

youhavebeencumberbatched  asked:

Heyo, my gf and I are planning a Simon and Baz cosplay for a con in March. I tweeted at Rainbow Rowell asking if she had ideas for the crest that would go on their sweaters. She said "Hmm...I feel like you can really improvise this. I mean, wands, stars... What could represent speech?" Now I'm not exactly sure what she meant by representing speech, but I was wondering if you, or your followers had any ideas?

Hey! Ok first of all, I love that you are cosplaying as Simon and Baz omg. I hope it turns out well!

Secondly, on redbubble there are some sweaters already with like watford logo’s like these two: (left x)(right x)

maybe that can help you?

I also asked some people and @simonandtyrannus came up with this:

which looks pretty darn awesome, so if that suits you, you could try to make something like it?

About the speech thing, I honestly wouldn’t know. Anybody else have any ideas?

Anyway, I hope you find something that suits you and I would love to see that cosplay! Good luck!

And this chapter “Did Nothing Wrong and is 100% innocent” Award goes too… Emil?

Ok, Just follow my logic here for a sec. Our crew current situation is complex and a direct (and indirect) result of the actions and choices of many characters plus just plain old fate. But guess who can’t, in any way, shape, or form, be held accountable for anything that is happening right now? Well, that would be Emil.

anonymous asked:

hello! i wanted to ask if there is not going to be an official concert for wings, im a new fan i apologize if its a dumb question

Hi anon~ Not a stupid question don’t worry! Ok so there are no confirmation from bighit yet about any concerts. But, there are talks of concert organizers in diff countries being in contact with bighit about a tour. So, the following are just my insights about this. These are not confirmed in any way:

1. If we’re meant to get the album S then we might get in march~april which means a comeback at that time.
2. This is bcoz I feel like there’s still one more album before they do Episode 3.
3. Bangtan has a trilogy concert series and we’ll know at the end of tomorrow’s fanmeeting if we will get one soon. They usually announce stuff at the end of the fanmeet.
4. If they do have Episode 3 in the 2nd quarter of 2017, then they will do a world tour for it. Just like Episode 2 last time.

But yeah these are mostly just wishful thinking and speculations :)

2

WHY HELLO FRIENDS. This is my first follow forever and I meant to post this as soon as I got to 2k oops but you guys love me so it doesn’t matter. This amazing heart ripping edit was made by the beautiful, the wonderful, the harshly pizza judging Rheana. Any who this is a post of all the people I am deeply in love with or I love them enough to put up their crazy shit. If you are not on here PLEASE PLEASE do not be upset. It doesn’t make me love you any less. I love all my followers more than I love breathing ok.

500yearssofwinter // brezbebe // calumornia // classykeaton // clifdork // clumsykeaton // cosmickeaton // dammitperrie // dirtybongobeats // drewhadtobail // drewsbanana // dxlanobriens // e3peace // emblem3 // emblunt3 // embluntz // emblxm // exblem3 // ftwemblem3 // gotmuke // hellyeswes // hemminq // inspiringstromwick // kaetonrobert // keatoncravings // keatonmeout // keatonthecat // keytons // ladychadwick // lukeblvd // marrymichael // mblem3 // mckeaton // meorientai // nosnapwes // ofbutts // okaywelsey // schmidtxstyles // sleepychadwick // sleepywesley // wesleus // wesley5sos // wesleybluntberg // wesleystrombang

I would write notes for you guys but that would take a long ass while so.

I’m pretty sure that some of you nice peeps may have accidentally started following my blog recently when you actually meant to follow J. Bizzle’s adorbz selfie blog.

I’m sorry to disappoint. It’s OK if you wanna unfollow. NBD. I actually don’t know much about J. Bizzle or his hi-larious shenanigans. All I know is that J. Bizzle has a really small head and likes to wear ginormous hats and stuff

The management of Lazy Dad’s Guide to Everything regrets any misrepresentation or uncontrollable bouts of nausea and/or diarrhea this may have caused. Thank you.

Cat and Mouse

    For ease of access please find below links to all my previous stories;
Sam and Dean Series                        Requests and Stand Alones
Lil Winchester                       Heart Song
A Love She Never Knew       Dear Diary
High School Sweethearts      Reader Title Challenge
Enjoy my lovelies.
Regards,
Bec
Xxx

                                                 Stand Alone
                                             
Cat and Mouse

Authors Note: This is story I mentioned last night. Once again its long, but I will post the whole thing. xxx

WORD COUNT: ah about 4500

    ‘All I’m saying is that maybe calling her first might have been the better option,’ Sam grumbled as they pulled up in the driveway.
    ‘It’s Y/N, why the hell would we need to call her?’
    ‘Because it’s Y/N, she’s not like Bobby or anyone else Dean she’s more private. The only reason you know her address is because you went through her purse, she never actually gave it too us.’
     ‘And whose fault’s that? If she had of shared it I wouldn’t have snooped.’
     Sam just shook his head at his brother. This was not going to end well, not for the boys or Y/N. Dean couldn’t help but feel excited as he shut off the engine to the impala. They had met Y/N on a case a year ago, and met up a few times afterwards to help each other out on hunts. She was a small time hunter, worked alone usually. But she was quiet, mysterious, and it suckered him in. He loved trying to figure her out, and considered it a challenge. Y/N knew what he was doing so fought even harder to stay private.
    ‘It’s more apple pie than I pictured,’ Dean commented shocked.
    ‘Yeah can’t argue that.’
    The two boys looked at the well cared for front yard, the steps that lead up to a porch with a bench seat on it. Dean grinned when he saw Y/N asleep on the seat, music in her ears and a book in her lap. He approached quietly and went to go wake her up, he didn’t realise however she had sensed someone watching her. Given the events that had taken place recently, she was on edge. As Dean leaned in to pull her earphones out, she punched him in the jaw, sending him stumbling back. Her eyes flew open and her hand went straight to her mouth when she realised who was there.
    ‘Oh my God, Dean I am so sorry.’
    ‘It’s fine,’ he chuckled holding his jaw, watching as she sat up.
    ‘What are you two doing here? How the hell did you even know where here was?’
    ‘Ah we were in the area and got wind that there was a job around. And as for your address, Dean sorta lifted it from your drivers license.’
    Dean watched as her face darkened as Sam spoke.
    ‘You should go. The job is fine. I have it handled.’
    ‘With a punch like that I can believe it,’ Dean smirked.
    ‘I was sorry until I found out you invaded my privacy.’
    ‘Aw come on Y/N, let us help.’
    ‘You should have called first. I could have met you at a motel,’ she sighed.
    ‘Why a motel when you have a perfectly good house?’ Dean questioned, still running his jaw. She had a good arm.
    ‘I keep my private life private for reason Winchester. Having you come up and let yourselves in takes away any security or distance I put in place.’
    ‘Huh?’ Sam asked.
    Y/N just shook her head. Dean watched as she stood, he could have sworn he saw her wince but it was only for a second and then gone. She was shorter than normal. He looked down and realised she was barefoot. He had never seen her without heels before. He looked her up and down and realised he had never seen her like this before.
      She was in a maxi skirt and t-shirt, normally she was a jeans and tank top type.  Her hair was down and natural, it was a lot longer than he thought, it came down and sat at her waist, natural curls and waves in it. She normally wore it up in a bun or braided, but regardless of how she wore it, he never knew how long it was. It was also lighter than he thought, more natural highlights in it. Her face was make up free and it suited her, gone was the eyeliner and smoky eyes. He could see her few freckles and the natural blush she had. He loved it. The look was more relaxed, more natural, more her and she looked gorgeous. He frowned as he wondered why she would hide it behind the mask, the make up, the outfit. He didn’t understand why she didn’t dress like this more often. She looked hot either way, but this girl in front of him was one you could picture spending time with, watching a movie, eating breakfast, hell even cooking breakfast with. The other Y/N they worked with on hunts was more the hot love them and leave them type. He had considered several times, seeing if there was a chance at a friends with benefit relationship. He figured she would have been up for it. But to see her now in front of him, there’s no way he would suggested it. No way he would want it. This woman in front of him, was one you made love to, one you shared the bed with all night and woke up to the next day. One that was a man’s rock not just a release and that just drew him in even more. Despite all his reservations and commitment issues.
    Y/N could feel Dean’s eyes on her, and she averted her own to avoid looking at him. When she did and she saw him frowning she knew what was going on. He didn’t like what he was seeing. No one ever did, but it suited her fine, it suited how she chose to live her life. She was for all intensive purposes a superhero with a secret identity. Ok well maybe not quite like that, she was a hunter with a secret personality. To hunt, there was no way she could be herself. Y/N was too innocent, too kind, too girl next door. It almost got her killed when she first started hunting. So she changed, became harder, tougher, more of a ‘no bullshit’ woman. But she struggled to keep up with it, she hated how emotionally detached it made her. So she made a choice. She reduced her hunting commitments, and chose to live a normal life, her life, who she was and be true to herself, but still hunt occasionally. When she hunted, she took on the her other persona, kept her normal life hidden and it worked. It gave her a way that she could have an out if she ever needed. Most hunters or demons never got close enough to her to be able to recognise her make up free, except the damn Winchesters.  This was what happens when you find yourself comfortable with people, when you allow friends in the hunting world. The lines blur and are crossed and danger follows.
    ‘Just go, please.’
    ‘No, now I’m worried. Are you ok?’
    ‘You’re here, at my house, without an invitation, against my will. No Dean I’m not ok.’ Her words came out harsher than she meant. She realised she was still hurt over his look before. Not that it should matter, the two of them were friends and nothing more. Despite any feelings that came up, they were staying only friends. She had considered more, maybe friends with benefits/booty call relationship, but with how he made her feel some days that would be too hard. And neither of them did relationships so friends and friends only, if that was all they could be. But given how she felt about herself, how self-conscious she was at times. It did nothing for her mood right now.
     ‘I’m fine, I just don’t like mixing business and home life.’
     ‘Why?’ Sam asked.
     ‘Because I don’t.’
     The two men followed Y/N inside her home. Looking around, the home was well and truly apple pie. There was a patched work blanket over the back of the chair, wood fire place, coffee table. It wasn’t too girly, or too masculine, it was a great balance. This was one of those places that you felt at home in, one you knew you were fine to put your feet on the couch or place a beer on the table without a coaster. One you knew without a doubt there was food in the kitchen if you were hungry. Nothing made your mind or body scream awkward or “ok what can I do?” It was that sort of place that screamed comfortable and home.
     Y/N walked through the living room and into the kitchen, grabbing Dean an icepack from the freezer and wrapping it in a towel, before giving it too him. Dean looked at her kitchen, it was the same as the lounge. Old fashioned homely.
     The boys sat at the table and watched as Y/N pulled a cast iron pot from the stove and stirred it. Both boys took in the smell it was amazing.
  ‘The jobs not looking to be that difficult,’ she commented as she got them a beer.
    ‘Any idea on what it is?’ Sam asked.
    ‘Demon.’
    ‘Ok, so the plan?’ Dean asked, placing the ice pack on the table.
    ‘You leave, I do my job and everyone’s happy.’
    ‘How about, we stay, we help and you explain all this?’ Dean challenged.
    He watched as her face changed, something he said upset her. Probably all of it.
    ‘Have you found it?’ Sam asked trying to change the subject. He already felt bad that they had invaded her privacy, especially when she didn’t want them here. The last thing he wanted was to upset her more.
     ‘I have it narrowed down to a couple of locations. I was planning on heading out after dark.’
    ‘Where?’
    Y/N got up and lead the boys to the hall down the side of her staircase. They followed her down the stairs to her basement. Here the homey feel of her home left and the tough, industrial isolated life of a hunter appeared. Her basement was more of an ops centre, there was a computer, lore books, maps, notes from the current case, other cases, a treadmill, kick boxing bag and mat.
     ‘This is more the Y/N we know,’ Dean commented quietly to himself. He didn’t see Y/N’s face as he spoke, but Sam did. Some days he wished his brother would learn to keep his mouth shut.
     Y/N felt her heart drop, while it didn’t surprise her it still hurt. She knew she was someone else around the boys, but the essence of who she was, was still the same and apparently if you take away the hunter look they didn’t like her. Well most of the essence, they didn’t know she enjoyed cooking, but that said she had never had the chance to show them either.
    ‘Yeah, sorry for the disappointment,’ she muttered.
    Dean looked up then, and saw the pain in her face.
    ‘Crap Y/N I didn’t-‘
    ‘It’s fine. Forget it, so here’s what I know…’
    Dean watched as she switched into hunter mode; her eyes darkening slightly, that soft sweet look fading off her face, she pulled her hair back into a bun and out of her face as she pulled files she had put together. Dean felt his chest get tight, she looked amazing with it down. He realised then he wanted nothing more than to run his fingers through it, it was something he could picture himself doing. Sitting watching tv together, even while they researched, just absent mindedly playing with her hair.
     ‘So yeah, that’s about it. Like I said I have it under control. There’s no reason for you to stick around.’
    ‘We’re here Y/N, we might as well help,’ Sam offered.
    ‘Fine, whatever. Shower and bedrooms are upstairs. Dinner’s almost ready if you want something to eat.’
    Y/N walked off leaving the two men alone in her basement.
    ‘Dude what the hell?’ Sam snapped at his brother.
    ‘I didn’t mean it how she took it,’ Dean sighed.
    ‘I told you we should have called,’ Sam told him, flicking through the papers she had given him.
    ‘I’m glad we didn’t,’ Dean muttered. ‘We would never have seen this side of her.’
    ‘I get the feeling, no one is meant to see this side of her.’
    ‘Maybe, but I’m glad we did.’
    The boys walked upstairs and into the kitchen watching as Y/N finished off dinner. She placed it on the table and sat down.
    ‘Smells good,’ Dean commented. ‘What is it?’
    ‘Carne Guisada, Mexican beef stew,’ she explained handing them the bowl or tortilla chips.
    They ate quietly and Y/N cleaned up when they were done. Dean offered to help, but she just shook her head. He felt terrible, and had no idea how to explain things. She was now even quieter and more reserved then normal. Y/N went to walk out the kitchen when Dean grabbed her arm.
     ‘Y/N I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. I’m-‘
     ‘It’s fine Dean. Just leave it ok?’
     Sam watched the two of them and quietly got up and left.
     ‘No it’s not fine. I didn’t mean to upset you, I never want to upset you. I just mean we are so used to seeing this other side of you, that this apple pie life version of you is unexpected.’
      ‘Ok.’
      Dean watched as she walked off, knowing it wasn’t ok.
      Y/N came out later dressed in what the Winchester’s considered normal for her. Dean looked at her and couldn’t help but feel the other Y/N looked better.
      ‘Well I’m heading out, up to you if you are coming or giving it a miss.’
      ‘Do you at least want to come up with some sort of plan?’ Dean asked.
      ‘I figured I would go in kill it, come home, shower, go bed,’ she shrugged.
      ‘Ok, that will work, but you know we are coming, we can figure out which building to hit first? Try and sort out what it wants.’
      ‘I know what it wants, and it’s not getting it.’
      Dean watched as she walked towards her garage and opened the internal door leading to it. Sam looked at him and both boys ran out to catch her.
       ‘Y/N,’ Sam called. ‘What does it want?’ he asked once they reached her.
       ‘Can you shift the impala?’
      ‘What does it want?’ Dean asked her. ‘Don’t stress we can take baby.’
       ‘My car’s fine,’ she sighed.
       ‘Y/N?’ Dean growled, he was getting annoyed now. More because something wasn’t right, there was more to this that she had told them, more than the information she had given.
       ‘Fine, we take your car,’ she snapped, grabbing her duffle from the boot of her mustang and heading out the front.
        ‘Damn it Y/N, what the hell does it want?’
        ‘You’ll find out soon enough.’
        The trio went to three different warehouses, before almost giving up.
        ‘There’s one more place,’ Y/N said quietly.
        She gave details, it was one she was hoping to avoid. It was the location of a hunt gone wrong not long after she started. A young girl had died, she was hoping he wasn’t there. She didn’t need the memories.
        Dean pulled into the empty carpark, he looked in the mirror at Y/N, her face unreadable. He had a bad feeling about this.
       ‘How about telling us the rest of the story before we go in?’
       ‘How about you learn to but out? Stay here, I will be back soon.’
       ‘That’s not going to happen,’ Sam sighed.
       He watched as she took a deep breath and got out the car. They walked through the door, Sam and Dean checking each corner. Dean started to freak out, Y/N was just walking straight through the warehouse, no concern for her safety. She wasn’t even carrying a weapon. Dean grabbed her arm and shoved her against the wall. He had had enough. This, what she was doing was dangerous and crappy and was going to get her killed.
        ‘What the hell is going on?’
       ‘A demon hunt apparently, now get out of my face Dean or I’ll give you a matching bruise.’
       ‘There is more going on then you are letting on. Spill.’
      Y/N pushed him out of her face and went to walk off, but Dean reached out around her waist with one hand and pulled her back. He heard her gasp with pain and stopped. Lifting her shirt he saw bruising covering one side and a rather nasty stab wound, which had now started weeping again from where Dean had caught the stitches. .
       ‘Son of a bitch,’ he growled. ‘You shouldn’t be here.’
       ‘I have a job to do Winchester. Now get out of my way.’
       Y/N stormed off the boys followed, once this was over they were getting answers. One way or another.
       They entered a room and Y/N flicked on a light, she glared at the walls in front of her covered in her photos. The son of a bitch was stalking her.
       ‘What the hell?’ Dean asked.
       ‘If you are man enough to stalk me the least you could do is be man enough to face me,’ Y/N yelled. She turned around, looking to the rafters waiting for him to drop on her.
       ‘What fun would that be, my love?’
      ‘More than you realise.’
       ‘If I come play your friends don’t get to join in. I’m not one for sharing my toys.’
        ‘Suits me just fine.’
       Dean stepped forward and spoke in her ear.
       ‘I am not letting you deal with this alone, what the hell is going on?’
       ‘Demon trying to kill me. I want to return the favour. I told you go home.’
      ‘Son of a bitch.’
       Y/N swore as the lights went out, but it didn’t stop her, she pulled her demon knife and waited. The hunt had been going long enough, that she could tell where he was.
        ‘I need you to back off Dean. I mean it.’
        ‘No.’
        She heard a noise and spun, the demon landing a fist to her jaw. She returned the punch, breaking his nose.
         ‘You know it kills him when I make you bleed?’ the demon sneered as he swung a knife and cut her arm.
        ‘You know I don’t give a flying fuck, he’s dead already.’
        Y/N spun and kicked, hearing the demon crash into the wall.
         ‘No Y/N he’s not. You see I’ve kept him for you, a pretty little gift for a pretty little thing.’
        The demon moved and Y/N could no longer tell where he was. The light’s came back on and she watched as he pointed a gun in her direction.
         ‘He screams for you, what he feels is rather pathetic really. Love, at least it’s what he believes is love. You should hear his disgust when I screw around with the others, when I take the whores from the bar back to party. He sits in the little corner of his mind and sobs. He did always plan on you being his first and last.’
         Dean watched Y/N from behind the demon, he could see the flicker of devastation in her eyes, he wanted to kill the bastard in front of him but something about the look on Y/N’s face made him stop. He watched as her lips moved but only slightly, it realised what she was doing, he watched as she got part way through the exorcism and the demon snarled at her.
         ‘I don’t think so my love. You do know I will just come back.’
         The demon watched the smirk appear on her face, it made him uneasy. This girl had changed in the last 12 months he was beginning to think she had a chance at killing him.
         ‘I’ll be back my love, I always do. Next time I will make it more worth the trip.’
         Dean lunged for the demon to stab him, Sam not far behind. But what happened next happened too quickly, and yet it was like time slowed. The Demon shot the gun at Y/N, Dean watched in horror as she dropped. The demon smoking out and the body he was in dropping dead.
       Dean ran for Y/N as she started standing up.
       ‘Cam!’ she screamed, trying to run to the body. Dean grabbed her and stopped her. Sam shook his head, the body on the ground was already dead.
       ‘He’s gone Y/N, I’m sorry.’ He held her as she collapsed in his arms. She was that distraught, she no longer felt the pain in her shoulder from the bullet.
        Dean picked her up and carried her to the impala, leaving Sam to remove all traces of Y/N from the walls and the body.
        ‘Take me home please,’ she sobbed.
        ‘Hospital first, that needs stitches.’
        ‘Police will ask questions. I can deal with it.’
        Dean took her home and helped her fix up her shoulder. He felt bad for leaving Sam to find his own way home, but he knew he would understand.
        Y/N grabbed a beer and headed outside and sat in her hammock. Dean stood in the door watching her. Not sure what to make of it or her. Eventually deciding to go join her.
         ‘Cam was my boyfriend, of well forever. We grew up next door to each other. Starting dating at like 10,’ she laughed softly. ‘We went through medical school back home together and came over to the US for a holiday before starting work.’
       ‘Home?’
       ‘Australia. I got hit on by some guy in a bar and I turned him down. Things started getting weird, things went missing, it was just weird things. Anyway, Cam had organised this picnic but the weather came in, some massive storm. So he did some candle lit indoor picnic, turns out he was planning on proposing. He had just pulled the ring out when the demon possessed him. It attacked me and some guy came in and tried to exorcise it but failed it disappeared. He told me what it was and well it’s been a game of cat and mouse the past 3 years. Apparently it’s fun for him.’
      Dean felt his anger building, he didn’t need the light to see the tears in her eyes, he could hear it in her voice.
      ‘Your side?’
      ‘He attacked after a salt and burn a few days ago.’
      ‘Why didn’t you call in help?’
      ‘I thought I could out run him, hide, not involve anyone else.’
      ‘Thus the two sides to you?’ Dean questioned.
      ‘If people can’t recognise me, they can’t pinpoint where I have been. I have a tattoo that prevents him from tracking me. So he has to find me each time.’
       They sat quietly for a while, Dean brooding and trying not to loose his temper. She should have come to them, should have asked for help. He understood why she kept it a secret but still.
       ‘Come back with us, we can help find him, keep you safe,’ Dean offered.
       ‘Thanks but no. I don’t do friends or relationships or anything. I’m a lone ranger, at least until he’s dead.’
       ‘You don’t have to be Y/N, we can help.’ Dean offered, rubbing a thumb along her knuckles, the action startling her.
       ‘Dean… I don’t… I can’t.’
       ‘I’m not trying for that,’ he replied shocked, he wanted to yes. But crap even he had morals of some sort and now wasn’t the time. ‘I just want to keep you safe Y/N.’
       ‘I doubt it would work out, having me around,’ she said quietly, thinking back to earlier.
       ‘Why wouldn’t it?’
       ‘Really? You aren’t exactly keen on the real me Dean. This right now, is my mask. What you seen when you arrived, is what you get. And that wasn’t exactly something you approved of.’
       ‘Wait, what? No. I love what I saw. I told you, you took it the wrong way.’
       ‘Sure.’
       ‘I’m serious Y/N, I love the laid back, relaxed homey you. It’s much more appealing and just feels easier to be around than this hunter version of you. It’s real you and the one I want to see.’
        He watched as she shifted. Y/N’s shoulder was starting to ache, the hammock was a bad idea, she was going to struggle to get out.
       ‘Can you help me out of this?’
        Dean nodded and helped her up, wrapping her in a hug.
       ‘Let us help you Y/N,’ he whispered as he kissed her head. It surprised her how much comfort that one action provided. How much safer she felt right now, with him. She thought back to the times she had shared a motel room and how much better she slept. It was tempting, but sooner or later it would all end bad.
       ‘I don’t do relationships Dean, even friendships and hunting partners. They all end up dead.’
       ‘That’s not a new thing for us,’ he laughed.
       Y/N left to go to bed. She woke the next morning, to the smell of pancakes.
       ‘If I go with you, it’s only until we find him and kill him,’ she said as she walked into the kitchen the next morning.
       ‘We can work on that for starters,’ Dean commented handing her a coffee giving her a lob sided smile.
      ‘I go as me, I’m done hiding behind make up. It takes too long to put on.’
      ‘Less crap to travel with, we’re good for that.’
      Sam walked in, and looked at her. Dean had filled him in last night. He knew how hard it was, the pain she was in right now.
      ‘No promises of a hunky dory, buddy type relationship. I will be keeping myself.’
      ‘I think I understand that, but we can work on it,’ Dean grinned.
      ‘I have a thing about fast food, I can’t handle it for long periods of time.’
      ‘We have a place, we are based at and you have here. So we can move between the two. Stop for a few days or weeks at which ever we are closer at, between hunts,’ Sam offered. ‘I’m not a fast food fan either.’
       ‘If you are happy to cook like we had last night, I will rent a house every night of the week,’ Dean commented. He watched as she considered it, playing with the material on her skirt. He did love those skirts.
       ‘I’m going to regret this aren’t I?’ she sighed.
      ‘Never, it will be great,’ Sam grinned.
      ‘I want one of my car’s at your place,’ she demanded. ‘If things go south I want to be able to leave.’
      ‘Deal, Sammy can drive it there seeming as your out of action.’
      ‘If either of you are hurt, targeted or I even think you may be in danger. I’m gone.’
      ‘Deal,’ Sam said.
      Dean glared at him, that wasn’t happening. Regardless of her worry. He was not letting her face this demon alone. He also had no plans to let her out of his sight until this demon was dead.
       ‘I guess it means I’m packing,’ she frowned standing and heading to her bedroom.
       ‘It’ll be ok, I promise,’ Dean commented as he walked into her room. Watching as she shut a draw. ‘The bunkers the safest place in the world. And I promise, I won’t let him hurt you again.’ He watched as the tears formed in her eyes again, he pulled her into a hug, and just held her while she tried to calm herself down.
       ‘We’ve got your back Y/N. I’ve got it. He’s as good as dead.’