You wanna know why I’m in love with you?“ He asked as he ran his hand along my jaw.
“Sure,” I answered feeling as if my heart could explode at any moment.
“ I fell in love with the way your laugh is always the loudest in the movie theater or the way your facial expressions always give away how you feel. The way you smile & freak out when you see puppies makes my heart want you. Or when you take a shower & your hair starts to curl. & when you say you hate it I don’t understand because to me it’s fucking beautiful. I fell in love with the way you feel so intensely. & your sarcasm is something that I just can’t live without. & the way you want everyone to be happy gives me hope that not everyone in the world is cruel. I love how sunsets and thunderstorm bring you pure joy. & you have the faith of a child that makes me want to protect you even though you’re the strongest person I know. I’m in love with everything that has to do with you.
I never quite understood why girls would cry over their broken hearts, or whine about how much ‘he loved her’ or spend their days constantly thinking of him. But then I fell, I fell hard. And it all became so clear: the late nights, endless tears, the constant babbling. It suddenly made perfect sense.
I do not like being presented with such nice things, such nice people, such nice opportunities and not be able to appreciate them just because somehow I always feel that something’s missing. I don’t want to keep thinking about what I’ve been missing when I already have an awfully nice lot. I have been living better than half of the world, never starved nor beaten nor bruised. And yet I am sad. I do not want to be but I am. Because I’ve been given the things I need to live but I’ve been missing the things I need to feel alive.