this is not a dish towel

a random assortment of life tips

by me, 20 year old who is so clearly great at adulting. (not really, but i’ve been living on my own for a couple years so i sorta know how this thing works.)

  1. coconut oil is the solution to everything - dry skin, frizzy/dull hair, cooking, removing makeup…everything.
  2. be nice to people working service jobs.
  3. change your pillowcases every week if you have bad acne. hell, you should change your pillowcases every week even if you don’t have bad acne.
  4. don’t put regular dish soap in the dishwasher.
  5. carry your school ID with you when shopping and always ask stores if they give student discounts.
  6. sleep naked. trust me on this.
  7. put a damp paper towel over your pizza before you reheat it in a microwave so that the crust will still be soft, not chewy.
  8. you don’t need to color sort your laundry if you put the washing machine setting on “cold”.
  9. drink a glass of cold water after a long cry - it’ll make you feel better.
  10. despite what others might say, you can be friends with your exes.
  11. make sure “find my iphone” is set up and turned on.
  12. save your loose change and deposit it into your savings account at the end of every month. over time, a little change makes a big difference.
  13. it’s okay to call your parents and ask for help. they probably know how to get that stain out or remedy a sore throat better than you do.
  14. air drying (as opposed to tumble drying) your sweaters helps the fleece inside stay soft and fuzzy longer.
  15. always double knot your running shoes.
  16. emergency sewing kit. get one.
  17. flavored condoms are for oral sex, not penetrative sex. 
  18. carry a small notebook and pen with you wherever you go. write when you feel inspired, even if no one will ever read it.
  19. never underestimate the healing power of cute animal videos on youtube.
  20. learn how to say “no”.
  21. be the kind of person you need in your life: support yourself. accept yourself. comfort yourself. love yourself.
  22. be open minded, question everything, challenge yourself, and learn to look at things from different angles.
  23. you are the most important person in your life - act like it. put yourself first.
  24. growing up isn’t about getting your shit together - it’s about learning to accept the fact that your life will never be as perfect and put together as you’d like it to be.
  25. screw the idea of “unconditional love” - it should always be conditional. your love is valuable as fuck; don’t give it to people that don’t deserve it.
  26. remember that you are under no obligation to remain the person you were yesterday. allow yourself to grow.
  27. challenge your limits, say yes to things that scare you, be open to new experiences, and live fully.

anonymous asked:

John realises how selflessly Sherlock takes care of Rosie, and it helps him realise that Sherlock is actually a person truly and completely capable of loving. Much more than any other person he has ever known.

John and Rosie have been living back at Baker Street for two months when Rosie starts crying in the middle of the day.  John is up to his elbows in soapy water at the sink, trying to clean all the dishes from the mess that was lunch, and Sherlock has been sitting at his microscope for the past hour, hardly moving, working on some experiment or another.  John knows better than to attempt to ask him to help with the dishes when he’s so engrossed.  

Rosie just sits in the middle of the sitting room, screaming.

John curses and, in his haste, he accidentally drops one of the sippy cups, successfully spilling water all over the floor.  He sighs and leans down to pick it up, chucking it back in the sink and throwing a towel down over the spill.  He’ll have to clean it up later, after he calms Rosie down.  It isn’t until he’s almost got his hands completely dry, however, that he realizes Rosie has stopped yelling.

He looks over and almost drops the towel.  Sherlock is standing by the window, Rosie curled up in his arms.  He’s got his lips pressed against her head, and he’s murmuring quiet words that John can’t hear.  Rosie hiccups and takes deep, shuddering breaths, her fists curled into Sherlock’s robe.  After a few minutes, she lays her head down on his shoulder.

John doesn’t know how long he stands there staring at them, and he can’t quite pinpoint why the image of them together like that is making his chest hurt.  He’s seen them play together in the past couple of months; he’s seen Sherlock play Rosie the violin; he’s seen Sherlock read to her.  John’s eyes slide back to the microscope at the table where Sherlock’s abandoned slides and samples sit. 

It wasn’t that he thought Sherlock was selfish enough to ignore a screaming baby in favour of his experiments.  But…Sherlock had been known to tune out almost everything when he was working.  He’d even tuned out the fire alarm once when Mrs. Hudson had accidentally set her stove on fire.  John had had to drag him out of the flat.

But somehow, at the first sign of Rosie’s distress, Sherlock had been pulled from his work.  And now, as John watches, he thinks about all of the other times Sherlock has done something like that in the past few months, smaller things that John hadn’t quite taken note of at the time.  Ignoring texts from Lestrade; coming home with new nappies when John hadn’t even realized they were almost out; emerging from his mind palace when Rosie climbed up onto the sofa with him.  Little things that seemed so small and yet weren’t.

John swallows hard, setting the rag aside, and that’s when Sherlock looks up at him, just the ghost of a smile gracing his features.  John smiles back, and his throat feels tight because Sherlock is happy like this.  He’s content with John’s child in his arms, rocking her until she’s calm, abandoning his own wants for hers.

Rosie falls asleep in Sherlock’s arms, and he takes her upstairs to put her into her crib.  When he comes back down John has made up his mind, and he’s never seen Sherlock look so shocked as when John kisses him right then and there.

Being Roommates with Overwatch Characters:

Genji: Very quiet and respectful, never eats your food. But he never sleeps, so that can get awkward. Sometimes he does his ninja training in the living room at like 3am. When you go down to yell at him he has mysteriously vanished…

McCree: Super friendly, super messy. He will always invite you into his room to watch this cool video he found on YouTube that you’ve certainly already seen, but he just found it. He thinks the fridge is more of a communal zone. You can take his food, and he can take your’s. He prefers to cook meals to share though, not that he’s any good at cooking. Is often hungover in the mornings.

Pharah: Isn’t home a lot. She’s very focused on her career. Her interactions with you are very formal at first, kinda stiff and awkward. It will either stay that way forever, or one night of drinking and video games will break the ice and give you a million inside jokes.

Reaper: Just the worst roommate ever. The second he’s done with something, he drops it on the ground. Beer bottles? Check. Towel? Yep. Laundry? You once found a pair of his boxers in the refrigerator for fucks sake Reyes, why is this here? NEXT TO MY MILK! He always claims he was the last one who did dishes. He never does dishes.

Soldier 76: The weird roommate you met through Craigslist who seems quiet and reserved at first, but once he gets going on his conspiracy theories and how THE SYSTEM IS BROKEN he will never shut up. Constantly plays CoD on the couch. Never seems to go to work, but always pays rent on time. Does the chores with military precision.

Tracer: Lives outside of time, quite literally. So be prepared to remind her of appointments, when rent is due, that it is not in fact the weekend so could she stop playing Just Dance so loud past eleven? It’s frustrating, but she’s so much fun to be around you forgive her.  She is on first name basis with all the bartenders in the neighborhood, and drinking with her is always an epic adventure.

Bastion: You bought this old thing on eBay. They said it was non-functional, but it immediately sprang to life in your apartment. It spends all its time out on the balcony, where a flock of birds have made it their home. Every once in a while you wake up in the middle of the night to find it crouched in the corner of your room in turret mode. Then you realize someone was being loud outside and it got scared.

Hanzo: There are two Hanzos. Calm, collected, brooding Hanzo, and I’LL TELL YOU WHEN I’VE HAD ENOUGH SAKEsshdhshjkfk Hanzo. Hanzo is normally very organized, his room his spartan and he made a chore schedule that he treats like it is law. But about two times a week he gets shit faced on expensive sake, cries about his brother, tries to fight a house plant (claiming it knows nothing of honor when he falls on his ass), and ends the evening on the balcony, pegging passersby with perfect precision with YOUR HOTDOGS THAT HE STOLE FROM THE FRIDGE, HANZO COME INSIDE.

Junkrat: Just, an absolute disaster. Your apartment has become a junkyard. Scraps of machines all of the place. And it smells terrible because he’s constantly mixing weird chemicals in the bathtub. You’ve started showering at the gym, and are terrified when you have to pee. You’ve had three minor fires in the place since he moved in, and you’re pretty sure he’s a criminal. You’d call the cops, but his… boyfriend? You’re not sure. His giant man partner keeps coming around and staring at you silently and you’re just trying to stay alive, okay?

Mei: Is terribly sweet and friendly, but messy and forgetful. You can’t get mad at her, because she always apologizes profusely when she forgets to do the dishes or take out the trash or that this is her week to buy toilet paper. She’s often wrapped up in her work, and loves to go on exuberant explanations of the science involved that you don’t even half understand. But you smile and nod along. She’s just so excited, you can’t interrupt her. Her bedroom is cluttered with items she collected from her travels and adventures, mixed with scientific equipment and climbing gear. She always wants you to come on nature hikes. They are beautiful but exhausting. That girl has boundless energy. The only time she gets mad is if you try to throw away a recyclable.

Torbjörn: He is constantly making noise, hammering, laughing like a maniac, riveting??? WTF is he doing in his room???? He’s very cranky and opinionated (do not bring up Omnics, trust me), but after a few beers he has some of the most amazing stores you’ve ever heard. He keeps his mess to his room and only forgets to do his chores every once in a while. But food in the fridge is going to disappear and he’ll get very defensive when you ask him about it. Also, long golden beard hairs! EVERYWHERE! in the bathroom! Clean out the drain when you’re done!

Widowmaker: The most intimidating person you’ve ever lived with. Hell, ever met. She will walk around in nothing but a towel, but it’s actually kind of terrifying? Like she’s daring you to say something to her??? You’re pretty sure she’s killed at least two people in the neighborhood. No one can prove it. You feel like she’s constantly watching you in your room… you’ve looked for cameras and found nothing. She leaves for days at a time, and then suddenly appears silently in the middle of the apartment. You didn’t hear the front door open????? WTF IS HAPPENING???? She leaves all the chores to you, will pretend she only speaks French if she’s not in the mood to talk to you. You’re pretty sure you’re going to be found dead in the bathtub and there will be no records of your roommate…

D.Va: Almost never does chores, acts like she did you a favor when she finally washes a single dish. Is constantly live streaming from the couch. You haven’t been able to watch TV since she moved in. She invites you to play games just to utterly destroy your ass at them. She got sponsored by Doritos and Mountain Dew so now the apartment is full of that crap. She acts like that’s her contribution to groceries because she saw you eat a chip. You thought she hated you until someone on her stream called you a loser and she tore them a new asshole. Is this what having a sister is like???

Reinhardt: Snores like a freight train is rumbling through the apartment. You can hear it through the walls. Through your earplugs. Nothing helps. He is incredibly helpful and friendly though. Always does his chores, does a few of your’s if you don’t stop him. Loves to cook dinner, but will always make the weirdest German fusion food. Any nice thing you do for him gets the most enthusiastic thanks that it makes you want to do nice things for him all the time.

Roadhog: You’ve seen some shit, man. Shit you can never tell anyone. Mostly because it would damage Roadhog’s bad ass reputation, and you will not make him angry. His room is full of plushies. He sleeps on them in a big pile. He spends all day playing Animal Crossing and he helps paint your nails. His weirdo boyfriend? You don’t know, small manic man partner comes over sometimes, but you managed to get them to not set off any explosions in the house(by claiming to protect the plushies). When Roadhog first showed up, you were terrified. But he’s turned out to be a really sweet guy. When you’re not on his shit list. You will do anything not to get on the shit list… A UPS driver damaged his limited edition Rainbow Sparkle Bear, and you heard the screams……..

Winston: Spends all his time in his room on his computer. He’s nice enough when he comes out, but that’s usually only for more peanut butter. He’s kind of shy and awkward around you at first, but one day you ask about the glory days of Overwatch, and you get a story hour of epic proportions. After that he is your buddy. Tracer comes by sometimes, always bringing a fresh batch of bananas. Winston tries to act insulted, but you always catch him eating them later. He forgets to do his chores, a lot. He always promises he’ll get around to them. After this experiment is finished… It never gets done.

Zarya: Your living room is now a gym. She moved in a professional looking weight set and bench. “This is just for casual,” she tells you. She constantly makes “helpful” remarks about your physique. She thinks if you just did some deadlifts, your legs would be much stronger. Much more solid. You are like noodle. She tries to train you on the weight set in the living room. She proves that she can benchpress you, and then gives you some fifty pound weights “For a warm up”. May god have mercy on your soul.

Lúcio: Just the nicest roommate ever. He will sit on the couch with you until 3 am talking through your problems. He baked you a cake on your birthday. Is it your day to do chores? He saw you weren’t feeling well, so he just did them this morning. Don’t worry about it, fam, I got you. He only asks you for things on behalf of others. Will you help him organize a fundraiser for the local kid’s soccer organization? Come to a protest to improve the working conditions in factories? Could you maybe drop off this extra portion of dinner to the old lady next door on your way out? Say hi to her cats for him. The only thing that can be annoying is he can get lost in his music and forget that it’s super late. But when that wakes you up, you usually just go and sit down in his room and watch him work on his latest tracks.

Mercy: You really won’t see her that often. She is an incredibly overworked doctor. She is a very kind and patient person, but you can tell she is constantly bone tired. You don’t even ask her to do chores, you just do them all yourself. She barely ever uses dishes or makes a mess anyway. She leaves you little cakes she bought at the bodega as a thank you every now and then. Most of your communication is through post it notes, as you are often on completely different schedules. She seems nice, but you don’t really know her.

Symmetra: Everything has to be just so. She doesn’t even let you do chores, she doesn’t trust that you did them right. She will say the bathroom is filthy when it looks sparkling to you. She is constantly creating little robots to do work for her, so you don’t feel too bad letting her clean? She is incredibly sheltered, and can get hostile when you challenge her world view. But at the same time, you can tell she’s lonely and hurting. With small gestures here and there, maybe you can become friends.

Zenyatta: Just, the chillest bro you have ever met. He floats around the apartment and doesn’t eat anything so he doesn’t cause messes. He still helps with the chores, because it is more balanced that way. When you go through a break up he will listen and give you advice that honestly makes you feel better. He invites you to mediate, and makes it sound like a really great activity. His pupil, Genji, is always coming around. Zenyatta is so happy to see him. Neither of them eat, but Genji makes you ramen sometimes and its SO GOOD. They are both cinnamon rolls, and your life is better for knowing them. Occasionally Zenyatta knocks something over as he floats by, but that’s about the only drawback.

Transference (M) – Chapter 05

cr. [X]

Summary: During a routine visit to the local bakery, you stumble upon an intriguing business card and figure, what the hell. The business arrangement becomes…mutually beneficial. Y’all know where this is going.

Pairing: Hoseok x Reader

Genre: Angst, Smut

Word Count: 10,216

Warning: Tantric!Hoseok, therapist/client relationship, sexual themes, BDSM, shibari, dom/sub roleplay, profanity.

A/N: Here is the long awaited Hoseok POV chapter. If you haven’t read Chapters 1-4 already, I highly recommend doing so by using the links below.

Chapters: 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05

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my favorite thing about fanfiction is that there’s an audience for everything, like I’ll be all shocked posting something like ‘what the hell, I just saw a fic where Dean and Cas were both dish towels??’ and sure enough at least one person will unironically reply to it with “OMG this is my jam do you have a link??” and I think that’s wonderful, bless you all

A Green Witch’s Herb Bread

This is a bread recipe I have grown so familiar with that it’s taken up root in my bones. If you’ve got a good relationship with the bread and can hear when it’s springy and when it needs to be kneaded, you can forego the measuring cups too. This will make a honeyed brown bread, perfect for Mabon (as it incorporates wheat, honey, and the hearth), or it can be formed into circular loaves with the Solar Cross cut into them for other witchy occasions.

1 packet yeast

4 cups half white, half whole wheat flour

Several tablespoons honey

1 bottle dark beer (like a porter) - must be room temperature. Trust me on this one.

1 egg, beaten

Herbs of your choice

Put yeast and honey in a bowl and add the beer. Stir gently and allow to rest til foamy (about 5 to 10 minutes, longer if needed). Add pinch of salt and beaten egg. Mix in flour gradually, using a wooden spoon if you can, until the dough forms one cohesive mass.

Turn the dough out onto a floured surface and knead it! Use short, rapid strokes in cross directions, folding the dough over in half every other time or so. Work your intent deep into the dough at this time, and incorporate any herbs you wish to add (for Mabon: Use rosemary, crumbled walnuts, and rhubarb). Fully cover the dough in plastic wrap or a clean dish towel and let rise for at least an hour. Return, and punch down the dough, re-wrapping it and letting it rise another hour or two. Form the dough into two equal loaves (you can form a pan shape out of oven-safe tinfoil if you need), cut a design into the top to allow for splitting, lightly dust with flour, and bake at 450 degrees for about 20 minutes.

Let cool for at least another 15 minutes before cutting to serve! I’ve had nothing but excellent results with this bread, and even when it looks like the crust has been burnt to all hell, it has usually done no such thing and the springy and fluffy insides make all the time worth it. Plus, the herbs can be substituted seasonally for each feast day and celebration!

Blessed Be,

Ash

Kiwi: Part One

A little impromptu mini-series based in Jamaica during the writing/recording of Harry’s new album. Enjoy. xo



The music in the bar was pounding as the sounds of the Caribbean flowed through the humid air. It was a small establishment, one that could probably only accommodate for two hundred people at most. It definitely wasn’t a tourist place; most of those were on the other side of the island with the copious amounts of resorts and hotels that offered travellers sanctuary.

Harry wasn’t there to vacation, though. He was there to write and record his new album.

The bar, “Pipo’s Shack”, was about a ten minute walk from the recording studio that Harry had been working in for the past little bit. It had been a productive couple of days; he’d spent the first night there having a few beers and getting to know his team better. After all, they were going to be working together until this thing was done, so they might as well be comfortable with one another. They all got along splendidly, and the handful of songs they’d managed to bang out so far were promising, but not quite right yet. After a couple of days of straight work, Harry decided that he needed a night off to himself.

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Things I learned you’ll actually need for your dorm after one year of college that you probably won’t see on pinterest

So, I recently finished my first year at college (which was definitely an adventure, and probably one of the best years of my life so far) and I’ve made a few mistakes, but none that couldn’t be fixed. For example, I really didn’t do adequate research as to what I’ll actually need for my dorm room because I was too busy fantasizing how I was gonna diy decorate my dorm room into a pinterest masterpiece. Anyway, I quickly learned my lesson.

Basically, your dorm room isn’t just for display. You live there. It’s gonna get messy, it’s gonna have to store a lot of stuff, and you’re not always going to have time to keep it in pristine condition because life gets crazy. But you can deal with it, I promise, and for all the new freshman prepping for their first dorm experience, I want to give some advice on how you can be prepared for what college life actually hits you with.

Alright, so I actually ended up being in a triple (so I had two roommates) which meant I had even less space than the average broom-closet sized dorm room and I had two people I had to get along with. Thankfully, we all ended up being really close and very considerate of each other, and I am incredibly grateful for it. We learned our lessons together, and this is the list of stuff we came up with:

1. Vacuum: Get a real vacuum, maybe a cheap one (not like a crazy dyson), but a real one. Not just a handheld one (like we had) because it won’t be enough. Girls shed hair. A lot. (especially three long haired girls like us) People might accidentally spill a bag of powdered sugar on your rug, or you might rip open a bag of cereal a little too vigorously, or, more seriously, you might break something like glass and you don’t want anyone cutting open their foot on a shard. 

2. Swiffer: If your floor was linoleum like ours (that’s why we needed a rug, which I’ll mention later), then it will get dusty and dirty. Having a swiffer is just nice to have because once you vacuum your rug clean, you don’t want the dirt on the linoleum getting on the rug. Plus, it’s gonna a rain and there’s gonna be mud. It’s gross.

3. Brita filter: So my dorm was actually the absolute best freshman dorm not just because the people were amazing, but because we had sinks. IN OUR ROOMS. It is just so CONVENIENT. Anyway, I am fully aware that not everyone is as lucky as us and the only sinks will be in the bathroom. A Brita filter pitcher is nice to keep in your fridge because you can have fresh clean in your room at any given moment.

4. Trash can: We had three in our room for each person but they kinda ended up being shared based on location in the room, but yeah. You need somewhere to throw away stuff.

5. Plastic bags or just garbage bags: And not only do you need a place to throw away stuff, you need plastic bags or garbage bags for clean disposal. And trash piles up real fast in your tiny room, so you’ll need to replenish these bags very often. I learned from my mom that you always have a place to store your plastic bags, and so we had a designated plastic bag drawer where we kept all the bags from our local campus convenience store, or the drug store, or wherever. Trust me, it’s saved lives. (as in, barf bags)

6. Command hooks: So we had to bunk two beds and loft another to have enough room and it’s kind of a pain in the ass to constantly climb down to throw something out so we had a trash bag hanging from a command hook on my roommate’s lofted bed and yeah. That bag has saved lives. (same situation as above) Plus, you can hang hats, bags, towels, little caddies for your toothbrush off of these hooks and it’s just so nice because you don’t lose things.

7. Clorox wipes: Again, stuff gets gross, and you’ll unfortunately need to clean things (ie your mom doesn’t clean everything for you anymore). Have two packs stored because you never know.

8. Dish soap: Real dishes need to be washed well, or else you’ll get sick.

9. Sponges: For the dish soap. And the dishes.

10. Windex: For our mirror, which we wrote on with washable marker, and I killed ants with it too. 

11. Storage for food: Something airtight so bugs can’t get to it, like a trunk. We also had mice sometimes go into our vents. And then into people’s rooms. They’re looking for a warm place to hide, and food. Don’t leave food out is the lesson. But also have food in your room! Our room was well known to always have food and its really nice when you’re staying up late and everything is closed.

12. Tissues: Freshman plague is so real. You will most certainly get it, and probably several times too. 

13. Vitamins and medicine: Your immune system is gonna get a work out in college. Help it out with some vitamin C tablets. Have some tylenol or advil for headaches and aches and pains. And side note, if you’re really sick, just go to the health center, you don’t have to suffer through it.

14. Slippers: Get a comfy, cheap pair (because sometimes dorm hallways are gross, especially on the weekends) that you can wear all around your building and still be comfy.

15. Power strip: So much stuff needs to be plugged in and you definitely won’t have enough outlets between you and your roommate(s).

16. Printer: Okay, this seems a little unreasonable, but we were lucky because my one roommate had a spare one at home (how though??) and I have frequently said it is my favorite thing in our room. It has come in clutch so many times. But if you have a campus printer near you, or if its too expensive, it’s fine not to have one. But if you do get one, I would recommend getting one that is NOT wireless. University wifi doesn’t like you using other wifi (ie it won’t work). Get a printer that has a cable.

17. Plastic plates and forks: We have real dishes and silverware too, but plastic stuff is just easier clean up.

18. Rug: I almost forgot about this one.The floor gets cold and a rug also makes a room feel homier. You and your friends are gonna sit there and bond all that fun stuff, and someone might even sleepover on it (if they have a sleeping bag).

19. Chairs: So we actually didn’t have any other chairs other than the ones that university gave us for our desks and those are okay and everything, but some of our friends had these amazing, foldable, springy chairs that were so comfortable and also a lot of fun, and I am definitely getting one for my room next year. 

Other things you might need but might forget (maybe?):

Razors

Umbrella

Rain boots

Rain coat

Extra towels

Contact solution

Favorite mug

Tea

Stapler

Make up wipes

Facials

Lamp

Of course, this is not an exhaustive list, you’ll definitely need other things (like a fridge, microwave, sheets, pillows, decorations, etc), or see that you really don’t need some of the things I’ve mentioned. Honestly, do what you feel is best and good luck! I loved my first year at college! Like basically everyone, I had some trouble adjusting at first. I felt pretty lonely in the beginning too, but once you start going, things start to fall into place. I met some great people, had some great classes, and honestly, I’m going to miss my first year–even with all the excitement of being an upperclassman next semester.

I hope this helped and that you have just as great of an experience in your first year as I did–actually, even better!

Idiot Jar- Avengers x Reader

Request: Thank you Anon! Hope this is what you were thinking of!

“Hi! Would you consider doing #50 with a mix of all the avengers? Maybe especially Bucky?”

Prompt: 50. “I’m starting and idiot jar. Anytime you do or say anything idiotic, you have to put at least a dollar in it -more depending on how stupid the thing you said or did was.”

Notes/Warnings: None. (If I am forgetting anything please feel free to let me know and I’ll add it)

Originally posted by corneillee

Originally posted by temptatiolicious

  “I’m just saying, If I were able to time travel, that’s the first place I’d go.” Tony finished as he and Steve walked into the kitchen. You grabbed a towel and dried your hands from washing dishes.

 You looked at them with a curious raised eye brow. “I’m intrigued, Tony.” You started. “Where is it you would go?”

 Tony blushed and shook his head. “Nowhere. It’s nothing.”

 “No,” You pressed and crossed your arms. “I wanna hear this.”

 Steve grinned and ducked his head, trying to hide just how hilarious this was to him. “Go on, Tony, tell her where you’d go.”

 You looked at him expectantly and waited stubbornly for an answer. Tony shifted his weight and rubbed the back of his neck.

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It is a kind of love, is it not?
How the cup holds the tea,
How the chair stands sturdy and foursquare,
How the floor receives the bottoms of shoes
Or toes. How soles of feet know
Where they’re supposed to be.
I’ve been thinking about the patience
Of ordinary things, how clothes
Wait respectfully in closets
And soap dries quietly in the dish,
And towels drink the wet
From the skin of the back.
And the lovely repetition of stairs.
And what is more generous than a window?
—  Pat Schneider, The Patience of Ordinary Things
While The Boys Are Away | Bobby [M]

Originally posted by sugutie

Anonymous said: Could I request a smut bobby? Where it’s your first time sleeping together? Thank you!

Anonymous said: can I request Bobby smut where you guys have been dating for a while and have the first time at his dorm when no ones over but nearly get caught at the end💜

Warning: Fluffy smut. Oral, cunnilingus, and very vanilla sex.

Word Count: 3,266


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Sunday Morning

A Shawn Mendes one shot.

A/N: Umm, so this is really fucking cute? Tooting my own horn here, but I’m a sucker for morning Shawn and family man Shawn and older brother Shawn and domestic Shawn and this has all of the above. Hope you enjoy xoxo

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3

“Hey 😊 Could you do a reader x Klaus where the reader lets Kol drink some of her blood to help him heal after being seriously hurt and Klaus gets super jealous? Thank you!!” 

This morning you woke up alone in the bed you share with your boyfriend, Klaus Mikaelson. Your head was pounding and you were especially dehydrated from the drunken night out you had yesterday with your girls. You definitely regret getting so wasted.

The first thing you did was throw on your pajama pants, because who wears pajama pants to bed? Especially when you share a bed with the hottest Mikaelson brother, well, in your opinion that is. 

The walk to the kitchen was definitely a pain. Your feet were dragging to the floor and your faced looked as if everything was too bright.

“What puts you in such a mood?” Kol notices while he’s in the kitchen drinking a glass of water. You were surprised it wasn’t a glass of blood this time.

“I’m so damn hungover. Please don’t mess with me right now, Kol.” You weakly grabbed a cup from the top cupboard.

“Perhaps I can cure you of that.” He suggested.

“Huh?”

“My blood. Have at it before I change my mind.” Kol bites into his inner wrist, then puts the dripping blood into your empty glass that you held.

You hesitated, looking back and forth at the blood-filled glass and Kol’s face. You never thought about trying vampire blood to cure a hangover. If it really works, then you’re going to go out drinking more often.

“Would you prefer wasting your day being hungover?” Kol added, turning his grin to a not-so-amused face.

“Okay okay.” You put your hands up in defense, then proceeded with drinking until the glass was empty and bam! Just like that, you were all cured as if all those shots you took last night never happened. “Wow.” You said in disbelief.

“And you probably wondered why Nik wakes up peachy the morning after he drinks.”


You were singing your favorite song in the kitchen as you were washing the last of your dish from the yummy leftover spaghetti you just ate. Kol was sitting on the island on his iPhone. Here to ruin the fun, Klaus walks in with a puzzled look on his face.

“And how is it that you’re all better? You appeared nearly dead before I left.” Klaus questioned, furrowing his brows.

“Uh, Kol gave me his blood.“ You said, wiping your hands dry with a towel.

“It’s not like you were at your bloody death bed, love. Those extra minutes of waiting for your significant other will not kill you.” Klaus shot you a glare. What’s gotten into him?

You and Kol glanced at each other because the two of you were caught off guard at how jealous Klaus was being. “Okay? Got it boss.” You replied, then walked off to your bedroom. You weren’t in the mood to get into an argument with the big, bad original hybrid.

You were curious why it was such a big deal. Klaus has a habit of getting slightly jealous when it comes to men hitting on you, but vampire blood? From his own brother? Even Kol knows how much you are in love with Niklaus, so you don’t see why your boyfriend was being such a grump about it.

“Well, that was quite uncomfortable.” Kol hopped off of the counter to head to the living room but Klaus stopped him before he had a chance to take another step.

“Please enlighten me Kol as to who gave you permission to do so.” Klaus implied, looking as if he wanted to rip Kol in half.

“Pardon? I wasn’t aware that it was a crime to cure a hangover.”

“I find it quite obscene as my sweetheart wasn’t dying now, was she? I won’t hesistate this time to make that dagger your best friend as I’ve also noticed you have been overly friendly to Y/N for my taste.” Klaus scolded.

“Nik, Nik, Nik, you’re always for the dramatics.” Kol chuckled. “Would you rather me be ill-mannered with Y/N?”

“I’d rather you keep your distance.” Klaus growled, then dramatically walked off.

Company Is Coming Feat. General Hux
  • Hux: COMPANY IS COMING WE NEED TO CLEAN THE FINALIZER NOW NOW NOW PEOPLE
  • Hux: I want this place looking like Canto Bight on ice in one minute !
  • Hux: Ren, if you haven't made your bed it's too late now; just throw it away !
  • Hux: COMPANY IS COMING GET RID OF THE COUCHES WE CAN'T LET THE NEW REPUBLIC KNOW WE S I T
  • Hux: Armitage Hux to the rescue again. WHERE ARE MY CO-COMMANDERS ?
  • Hux: PHASMA THERE ARE MUFFINS ON THE COUNTER.
  • Hux: REN THAT'S A DISH TOWEL ! WE NEED A HAND TOWEL !
  • Hux: welcome to the First Order. We eat mud and sticks and live outside.
  • Hux *while pointing at an orchid flower*: someone please get Kylo Ren's lesbian plant out of here.
RFA+Saeran Suicidal MC

Can you write headcanons for the rfa and saeran with an mc who wants to kill herself because she feels like she doesn’t matter and nothing she does will ever matter

I got this prompt before things went downhill on my end, and I’m so sorry it has taken me a while until I was able to write this for you, anon.

I really hope you’re doing okay, and know that you’re loved. Please if you need help, remember to talk to loved ones, friends, or to look up suicide hotlines for your area (Google as an incognito mode if you’re stressed about your history). If you’re thinking of therapy I used to use BetterHelp.com. They had an app and it was nice not having to voice all the negatives, just writing them down. And some places offer free therapy as well.

Do not be ashamed for wanting/needing help. It’s so much better than the alternative.


Zen

- He showered you with compliments on the daily.

- He didn’t know you. You were still just some person behind a text message screen.

- Why did he care so much?

- Out of the camera’s prying eyes, you locked yourself in the late Rika’s room, curling up beside her bed.

- She was so much better than you in every way, so much more lovable, likeable. No one ever batted an eye to you unless it was just to be flirted with.

- You knew those advances would go away the moment they saw you for who you were.

- Some over-depressed whiny fuck.

-  You covered your face, hating how harsh you had to be to yourself, when you heard the phone ring. You peaked over, the action seemingly taking over a year, but you recognized the face on the ID.

- Zen.

- You answered, a low “Hello”, to which he acted surprised to.

- “Eh? Are you sick? Did our RFA princess get a cold?

- Silence. Long enough that you heard him shuffle with the phone, probably to check if you were still on the line.

- “Mc? Hey, are you okay?

- “Why do you care?”

- “…What kind of question is that?

- You scoffed.

- “Hey, whats up? What’s wrong?

- “What, you going to just flirt with me? Save the damsel in distress who you don’t even know?” You swallowed, the action making your throat feel like it was being torn apart. 

- “I do know-

- “No you don’t! You don’t even know what I look like, let alone how I act! How I really am! Just some selfish fuck up who can’t even compare to that Rika girl you all keep talking about!”

- Silence again, and your felt your heart manage to break even more. “That’s what I thought, you can’t even-”

- “No, I’m still here. I’m listening.

- “To what?”

- “To you. To you venting. Mc, please just. Keep going.

- Out of anger you did. Anger towards yourself, towards the group. He listened. He listened as anger turned into broken sobs that had your chest heaving.

- He kept quiet for a moment, making sure he wasn’t interrupting you again.

- “You’re right, I don’t know you. I don’t know what you look like, but you know what? I don’t care. Because while I don’t know you that well, I know already you’re a good person. You’re helping us while your heart is so burdened with stress, while you have the weight of us on your shoulders. Do you know how many others would do that? None. In fact, the one that did is gone now. And even as upset you are with us talking about her, you’re still willing to help, you’re still willing to listen to idiot romantics like me, while you’re struggling so much. But you know what? We’re here for you. These strangers that you’re taking care of, we’re here for you too. No matter how silly, no matter how late, you can call me. Text me. If you feel like this please, please, just talk to me or one of the guys who makes you feel more comfortable, if you can’t talk to anyone else. Just please, yell at me, blame me, but god please don’t do anything to yourself.

- “I-I-I’m so ssorry-”

- “Don’t. We all have our bad moment. When I see you at that party, I’ll give you all the hugs I can’t give you right now, and all the ones no one else was able to give you. So stick around until then at least, okay?”

- You nodded, even though he couldn’t see you. “O-Okay.”

- He stayed on the phone with you to calm you down, getting you to agree to sleep on the couch so Seven could make sure you were okay. He stayed on the phone for hours, just listening, singing at times, humming encouragement. 

- And when the two of you finally met, he couldn’t let go of you, and you never wanted to let go of him.

Jumin

- He was used to coming home and you greeting him with a smile, warming his heart and taking the stress from work that day. Even Elizabeth 3rd didn’t have that effect all the time

- But seeing you curled up on the bed, motionless, face soaked in tears, had him dropping his suitcase and rushing to you

- “Mc? Mc, are you alright?”

- You weakly looked up at him, dried eyed threatening to tear up again. “No.” God, every part of you hurt admitting that, but you just wanting some emotion to grace you, something other than pain and numbness

- “Do I need to call the doctor? It’ll just-”

- “No, no please, just.” You weakly reached out for his hand, and he immediately grasped yours. Even just tilting your head felt like it took your whole energy reserve away. “I need you.”

- He laid down beside you, pulling you into his arms. “Love, please. What’s wrong?”

- “I don’t know what to do anymore.”

- “About what?”

- “I’m such a fucking waste of space Jumin, I can’t do anything right anymore.”

- He jerked away slightly, looking you in the eyes.

- “Don’t you dare even begin to think that. Don’t you dare.”

- Tears starting spilling from your eyes again as you were forced to look directly at him, your shoulders shaking.

- “But I am-”

- “No,” He kissed your forehead, but his voice was stern, even slightly shaky. “You are the most amazing thing to happen to me, you are the best thing to grace my presence each morning I open my eyes, you are so much more than that, mc. Please.”

- You had never seen Jumin cry, but now you felt it. He was holding you tight, burying his face in your hair, as he struggled to keep composed as his body shook.

- “Please, mc. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

- You clung tightly to him, muttering a mantra of apologies as he made a mental list of how to help you exactly.

- He would going to start telling you he loved you six times a day, kiss you every moment he could, call you every small two minute break he had just to tell you he thought of you. 

- God, just anything. Anything to keep you here with him, and to feel like yourself again. Not this husk.

Jaehee

- Jaehee knew a few of the signs, just from excessive research she did after hearing about the late Rika.

- Maybe a few other reasons

- The two of you were closing up the shop for the night, you washing the dishes as she swept. However, she had stopped ages ago, watching you stare at a knife with a dead-eyed half lidded stare.

- She knew. 

- Slowly, she walked behind you, taking your hands in hers and getting the knife away from you, holding you from behind.

- “Mc, don’t.”

- That’s all she said. She wasn’t even 100% sure that was what you were thinking, but you bursting into tears on the spot confirmed it.

- She cut the sink off, wrapping you in one of the fluffy clean towels, rocking you back and forth as you sobbed into her.

- She wanted to cry, felt like she needed to, but she held it in. For you, just for you. Just anything to make you happy.

- “Jaehee, I can’t- It’s so painful- I can’t even breathe-”

- “Shhh,” She kissed the back of your head, waiting for you to cry it out.

- When you finished, she turned you around, kissing the corners of your eyes.

- “We’re going to get you to a doctor.”

- “Jaehee, no-”

- “Yes,” Her voice cracked a bit, and she took a deep breath. “Mc, you are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I’ve learned so much about myself, I’m finally enjoying my life again, I feel like I finally learned what it’s like to feel alive-”

- “With me gone, you’ll-”

- “I’ll break, I’ll be in shambles. And I never, ever, want to see you like that. I never want to see your beautiful, shining, radiant face devoid of life. If that happened, I’d die, Mc. I would just stop.”

- She took a moment to rub her eyes, then to kiss you.

- “Please, please, just talk to me. I promise I love you, I promise I will do everything I can. Just please, god. Don’t hurt yourself.”

Yoosung

- Everything had been numb until now.

- Bad grades? Still workless? Numb.

- Yoosung drowning in games while you silently and mentally begged for his attention? Numb.

- You weren’t even sure what had snapped in you today, but as he was discussing a test he failed, sad over it, but a bit happy it wasn’t as bad as his past grades

- And you just broke down in tears

- He froze up, trying to figure out what he said wrong as you buried your face in your knees.

- “Mc? Mc, what happened? Are you okay?”

- He gingerly touched you, scared of provoking more tears, but when you leaned a bit closer he managed to bring your face up to look at him.

- “Mc, please, please, tell me what is wrong.”

- He was so scared. Were you going to break up with him? Did someone hurt you? What was happening?

- After a few moments of choked sobbing and garbled mutterings, you managed to clear your throat enough.

- “Yo-Yoosung, I can’t stand this anymore.”

- Oh god, you were breaking up, weren’t you? He took a deep breath. “Stand what?”

- “Just, I don’t fuckcing know,” you covered your face again. “Living. I can’t.”

- His heart sunk. Immediately he pulled you to him, tears already leaking.

- “Do-Don’t you dare. Don’t you dare, Mc. Please, god, don’t you dare.” He couldn’t bring himself to say the word, he didn’t want to even jinx it. “Please, god, don’t. I don’t know what I’d do.”

- You outright wailed.

- “I don’t have a job, I’m such a disgrace, I just-”

- “No,” He pushed your face into his shoulder, refusing to have you keep on. “You don’t know how much you mean to me, or the people around you. God, please, I went through this with Rika, Mc, just please, please, let me help you. I couldn’t-” His voice broke, “I couldn’t help her, please, god, let me help you.”

- The two of you broke down, just rocking back and forth on his bed, sobbing together. You, feeling so ashamed and sick. Yoosung, so scared and guilty. 

- After the two of you cried it out a bit, he covered you in kisses, refusing to stop until he felt like you knew how much he loved you. 

- He’d nearly beg Jumin to have him help you get help. He didn’t care if he had to become a slave to C&R for the rest of his life. Anything was better than losing you.

Seven

- No matter what you did, how much you told him you loved him, he pushed you away. 

- You couldn’t understand why for the life of you. He was so in love with you a while ago, and now it’s just this?

- It was you, right? You did something. You weren’t who he thought you were…Right?

- He didn’t even notice you leave the house.

- You threw your phone somewhere outside, and just walked. Walked until your feet felt sore, until your legs couldn’t take it.

- When you finally stopped, you were at an old park bench. It was late in the afternoon, almost dark, so no kids were around. You sat down, and held it in as you thought about what you were going to do.

- There was a river nearby, so that was an option, wasn’t it? And if you truly needed to you could fashion your sweater into some noose. It wouldn’t be too hard if you had your phone.

- Phone… Right. You threw that somewhere, didn’t you? You couldn’t even look up proper ways of killing yourself, could you? Managed to fuck up right until the end.

- You laughed to yourself, and as you did it slowly turned into hiccups. Into sobs.

- Soon you were sobbing on this abandoned park bench, like some fool. Some lovestruck fool that had no one to love her back.

- You didn’t know how long you were there, not until a loud screeching noise hit your ears, causing you to blink at the bright lights in front of you.

- “Mc? Oh thank god, thank god.”

- Seven ran to you, pulling you off the bench and hugging you tight.

- “I was so scared, I was so fucking scared. Are you okay? Are you hurt-”

- You shook him off, shooting a bitter glare his way.

- “Why do you care?”

- You could see the life leave him. He instantly teared up, reaching for you.

- “God, mc, I do, I do, god i do please. Please please, please pleaseplease, don’t do this-”

- “What, push you away like you-”

- He pulled you into a sloppy, wet, kiss. His tears mingling with his inability to kiss properly.

- “I know I’m an asshole, I know I don’t deserve you. I just get so scared- I’m so gross, so disgusting, so stupid, Mc. And you’re so smart, so kind, so fucking calm. And I don’t deserve you, not in the slightest, but here you are,” He managed a weak, choked, laugh. “Finally realizing…”

- He held you close, refusing to let go, as he sobbed into your chest. “God, mc, please. Come home, lets talk, and then you can beat me within an inch of my life, but please god don’t leave me, don’t, not like this. Not like this, just any other way, not like this.”

- You put your stubbornness aside. Still angry, but longing some validation.

- The two of you settled in his car, awkwardly cuddling in the back seat in the abandoned parking lot, trying to calm down enough to drive.

- And in that time frame, you realized he was just as scared as you were. Once he heard your plans, he begged you to get help, he even promised he would come along to therapy, just anything so you didn’t harm yourself like you were thinking. He needed to know you were safe, and he would never forgive himself if he couldn’t stop you.

- But you knew for damn sure he wasn’t going to push you away anymore, not even if his mind told him to. You deserved more.

Saeran

- When he saw your recent search histories, he nearly broke down himself, recognizing a few of the searches as ones he used to look up himself.

- You, the wonderful woman who welcomed him with open arms. Despite those he hurt, despite him trying to hurt you. When you first saw him, you immediately hugged him so tightly, whispering on how thankful you were that he was alright.

- Something he would never forget.

- And here he was, reading the results you got for painless suicide methods. Once he saw one connected to your recent behavior, he shot out of his seat and sprinted to wherever you could be.

- When he found you, he was the one to break into sobs. He was so mad, so fucking mad, that he couldn’t stay composed, but he needed you, he needed you so bad.

- He fell to his knees, clinging onto your legs.

- “Mc, please god, please don’t do it, please for fucking gods sake don’t leave me alone, don’t leave me with an empty bed and guilt, god Mc I can’t take it, I can’t.”

- As soon as he started sobbing, you connected the pieces pretty quickly, and felt your own tears pour.

- You slowly met him on the floor, where he held you in a death-like grip, begging you without any shame.

- “Why, why, why? Why?”

- “I’m just. Worthless, Saera-”

- “Don’t you fucking even think that for one moment. I’ve killed people, mc, I’ve killed people worse than you, I’ve beaten people. God, Mc, I’m worse than you. If anything I’m the one more deserving to go rather than you.”

- He broke down again, ending up blubbering. “If you go I don’t know what I’d do. You’re the only thing keeping me sane, please god Mc, please don’t. Please. Please.”

- He just kept begging, and you started to wail.

- The two of you stayed on the floor just cuddling each other, unsure of what else to do. It took hours until the both of you could stop crying, until the both of you held hands so tightly and talked about the help for you to get.

- He would do anything, just anything, for his beautiful heaven like sky not to be taken away from him.

Make You Close Your Eyes

SPN FanFic

~Sam can sometimes be a mean tease, but it’s always worth it in the end.~

Sam x Reader, smidgen of Dean

2,438 Words

Warnings: Smuttiness of the Sam variety

A/N: This is my entry for @wheresthekillswitch and @emilywritesaboutdean Do It Like Team Free Will Challenge! My gif prompt is in the fic. This is also for @because-imma-lady-assface who wrote up this prompt and let me fly with it. Hope I did what you had in mind (recognize the title?) Big ups to my Sis @idreamofhazel for the beta and love. Feedback is ALWAYS loved. Please enjoy responsibly…

It started at dinner.

It was nothing fancy, just spaghetti and meatballs, something you’d been craving for a while and finally had the time to make. You sat next to Sam, watching with a smile as across the table, Dean practically licked his plate clean. As you watched Dean, you felt Sam watching you. He rested his head in his hand, leaning against the tabletop; a loving grin playing on his lips and making his dimples pop.

You were not oblivious to the look in his eyes, but you ignored him and finished your food, laughing as Dean slurped a long, sauce-covered string of pasta into his mouth like a child. That’s when Sam stepped up his game. His left hand dropped below the table and brushed lightly against your knee. Again, you ignored him, pretending not to notice the touch. His fingers danced up your leg and curled around your upper thigh, settling there with a light but suggestive pressure.

You peered at him quickly, but kept up your facade of not being affected by his actions. His eyes were lidded and his grin had faded into a teasing smirk that gave you a sneak peek into his thoughts. His hand shifted again, his long fingers sliding down to press firmly between your legs. You gasped and swallowed hard, clearing your throat to calm yourself and not let Dean see the blush that had surely crept over your cheeks. Sam’s fingers pressed down again and you knew for sure, tonight… it was on.

Keep reading

bailci  asked:

Solangelo + “You didn’t do the dishes, I’m not doing you.” ?

(I am really really sorry it took this long, also apologizes on the quality since this is my first short prompt text god help me)

It was never really a surprise to Nico that Will is as lazy as it gets. He knew this before, and nothing really changed when they moved in together.

He’s learned to live with multiple of Will’s less attractive qualities. He’s okay with the fact that Will can’t cook at all, that it’s always Nico in dinner duty. Will’s snoring used to keep him awake for hours, but it’s become endearing, a reassurance that the man is there, that he’s not making this up. They have created a working system around Will’s tendency to leave wet towels on the bathroom floor, and the son of Apollo has learned to expect the damp towels wrapped around his pillow. There’s been progress.

But what really bugs Nico day after day, week after week, month after month, is that Will leaves the dishes until morning.

It’s not even that big of a deal. Will keeps saying he doesn’t mind the dishes, that it’s only fair dishes are his duty since Nico cooks. There’s no real reason why the dishes couldn’t wait until morning, Nico knows that, but the fact that it’s only because Will is lazy is really annoying.

That’s what Nico’s thinking on a Thursday night. Not the cop show rerun on the TV. Not the cat purring by his thigh while he absently strokes her fur. Not Will’s hand on the small of his back, or his lips on his neck, or the fact that Will’s weight feels really good on top of him. No, Nico thinks about the dishes he can see in the corner of his eye, peeking from the sink like mongoose from the desert.

Will shifts and lies now properly on top of Nico, disturbing the cat and sending her away to search for another place to nap. Nico lets out a small sigh, partly in contentment and partly annoyed at himself for not being able to get in the mood.

“You know what we haven’t done for a while?” Will mutters against his neck, and it sends shivers down Nico’s spine. He lets his hands roam Will’s back, dipping lower until he can slip them to the back pockets of Will’s jeans and squeeze. Will’s whole body shivers. “That. Please, Nico. I want it.”

It’s actually kind of funny. Most of the time they are so in sync that Nico knows what Will wants and needs without either of them having to say anything. More often than not Will picks up on Nico’s mood and adjusts, and vice versa. But on this particular Thursday night Will is perfectly clueless about the fact that the dishes in the sink are pissing Nico off.

(Or maybe Will knows. Maybe he just decides to ignore it. Nico wouldn’t put it past him.)

Nico squeezes again, and nuzzles his nose to the side of Will’s head. His lips trail until they find Will’s ear, nipping there and enjoying every little sound Will makes. 

When Will’s hips jerk and he lets out a real whine, Nico almost regrets that he already made up his mind about this.

“You know what, Will?” he whispers in a seductive way against Will’s ear, really loving the way it makes Will sigh against his pulse point. “You didn’t do the dishes, I’m not doing you.”

It’s cruel. It’s horrible and wrong and messed up, but it works. Nico knows it the second the words leave his mouth, knows from the way Will stiffens and gets up enough to look Nico in the eye.

“What the fuck, Nico.”

“Dishes first”, Nico says smoothly, still caressing Will through the thick material of the jeans. He cocks one brow up, challenging Will to complain as he presses their hips together pointedly. “You do that, and I’ll be waiting for you in the bedroom. Who knows, if you’re quick enough you might get a reward.”

Nico is pretty sure Will has never been so eager to do the dishes before.