this is no time for puns

thanksgiving: bbs style

Evan: organized a funeral for the turkey that delirious ‘killed’

Delirious: stabbed the turkey all while laughing maniacally; now in jail behind the couch for foul murder

Tyler: drunk, ranting about how much these biscuits suck but he’s actually the one that baked them

Mini: calls it cheat day, holding 4 full plates of only mashed potatoes

Daithi: has not slept in days, drunk, trying to prove that turkeys are literally just aliens sent to change the course of european history

Brock: crying, also drunk, occasionally whispering thanksgiving puns to himself promptly followed by downing a shot of fireball

Marcel: same as brock but he’s on the floor and wearing a turkey hat

Anthony: drunk, joined tyler on the biscuit rant, carved a dick into the pie

Brian: wasted, guarding couch jail, thinks he looks stoic and serious and cool in his ‘totally legit prison guard’ shades but looks like a creep

Lui: stole half the food and disappeared without a trace

Scotty: just came here to have a good time and is honestly feeling so attacked right now?

Smii7y: in jail behind the couch for anthony’s crimes against pie

Kryoz: stoned, offered to suck brian’s dick if he’d let smitty out of couch jail (brian said maybe.) 

Ohm: officiating the turkey funeral

Cartoonz: drunk, blasting dubstep, brought pumpkin cheesecake cupcakes and has eaten half of them by himself

Bryce: left after 5 minutes of this chaos

Imagine S.Coups making Woozi flustered by constantly complimenting the younger on everything he does, even if it’s something simple.

lumosleah  asked:

What would getting to know SP be like? 💕 Love your work by the way!!!

1) THANKS UR A SWEETIE, 2) SHABANG:

  • First things first, sweet pea is not an open person at all. He finds its really hard to open up to people about anything other than his anger but it’s the emotion he’s most comfortable with 
  • He really enjoys playing pool and when he’s in his element, that’s when he’s most relaxed. you can literally see how much of a neanderthal he is 
  • Despite trying to maintain the macho man vibe, he’s a total clown 
  • Jokes all the time 
  • Really bad puns, too (terrible. literally the kind that make you go shut UP pea)
  • Super sensitive about certain topics so you make an effort to avoid the following: northsiders, classism, the lack of funds going towards southside high 
  • Sp is really adamant about everyone in riverdale having the right to a proper education 
  • Sp being a lowkey nerd and lying about his grades
  • Watching sweets rip on fangz all the time bc he’s not taking school seriously 
  • Or anything seriously, honestly 
  • Starting to realize that sweet pea is an incredibly passionate person and everything is driven by his emotions instead of logic 
  • Hence the nickname 
  • He’s also really physical (not just in a bad way). He offers condolences by patting people on their shoulders, on their backs, touches their arms to calm them down, wrapping an arm over their shoulder, giving awkward but well meant side hugs
  • If you stare him down when he’s angry he’ll crack a smile eventually 
  • He responds to being called ‘jackass’ and isn’t always pissed about it 
  • Actually not a jackass 
  • If he tolerates you, he’s actually very nice 
  • Loyalty is his biggest policy 
  • Will go down swinging for you
  • Definitely expects the same in return 
Tripping Over the Blue Line (39/45)

It’s a transition. That’s what Emma’s calling it. She’s transitioning from one team to another, from one coast to another and she’s definitely not worried. Nope. She’s fine. Really. She’s promised Mary Margaret ten times already. So she got fired. Whatever. She’s fine, ready to settle into life with the New York Rangers. She’s got a job to do. And she doesn’t care about Killian Jones, captain of the New York Rangers. At all.

He’s done. One more season and he’s a free agent and he’s out. It’s win or nothing for Killian. He’s going to win a Stanley Cup and then he’s going to stop being the face of the franchise and he’s going to go play for some other garbage team where his name won’t be used as puns in New York Post headlines. That’s the plan. And Emma Swan, director of New York Rangers community relations isn’t going to change that. At all.

They are both horrible liars.


Rating: Mature
Content Warnings: Swearing, eventual hockey-type violence
AN: Welcome to Los Angeles, hotbed of NHL drama. At least in this version of the NHL. It gets real dramatic guys, but Roland Locksley is here to be painfully adorable in front of media hordes, so there’s some give and take. We’re closing in on the end of this whole story and your continued feelings and thoughts and clicks just absolutely blows my mind. You’re all incredible. Screaming the praises of @laurnorder, @distant-rose & @beautiful-swan forever and ever. 
Also on Ao3, FF.net & tag’ed up on Tumblr


“Is it always sunny here?” Will asked, squinting up at the sky like he was actually in pain.

Killian rolled his eyes and Roland laughed softly next to him, tugging on the bottom of his jacket and while he certainly wasn’t about to complain about sunshine, it was fairly hot. And they couldn’t take the jackets off.

He wouldn’t complain.

He’d just sweat to death. Probably.

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Nightwing x Reader: Good Fortune

Anon: could you do 44 & 48 for Nightwing?

44. “Damn. You’re hot.”

48. “Don’t call me ‘babe’.”

Word Count: 2142

Warnings: None!   

A/n: I rewrote this, like, seven times. I hope it is satisfactory!


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bobstropajo  asked:

Happy Buh-rthday! (i hope this isn't the millionth time you received this)

I’ve received a few Buh-thday puns and I love every one of them and every one of you. I hope everyone has a great Nov 20th!

anonymous asked:

Being besties with sweets would include...

BEING BFFS WITH SP INCLUDES:

  • Listening to really lame, really corny jokes
  • Bad puns
  • Laughing at really inappropriate times  when your together and everyone hates it
  • Bc its always during serpent meetings 
  • When FP’s tryna be serious and you two dickheads are in the corner snickering abt a really bad joke he told 4 days ago 
  • Overeating all the time 
  • Playing pool and having to be on his team or else you’d lose
  • Subsequently beating his ass at darts 
  • Pinky promises 
  • Easily offended whenever someone’s talking smack about him 
  • Likewise he’s ready to roll heads whenever someone’s talking smack about you 
  • SP having to have approval of any guy you think about seeing 
  • Genuinely concerned for your happiness
  • Coming to you with whatever girl problem he has 
  • Always listening to you gossip abt girl drama even tho he doesn’t care
  • Reacting to it too
  • ‘Omg she did that?’ ‘yeah man’ ‘oh my gosh no way’
  • ROLLING UR EYEBALLS ALL THE TIME BC OF HIS SASS
  • Sp giving u the real life shit when u do something stupid and he’s gotta play big brother for a second or u’ll dig ur hole deeper 
  • Likewise putting him in his place when he starts on a power trip
  • he probably maybe definitely calls you boss.

a short, belated birthday gift for @mundocrayzer based on the idea suggested. hope you enjoy it!

direct ao3 link

Len’s never been a fan of tattoos.

Oh, sure, he’s as much of a prison bird as the next man over (the next man over typically being Mick), and he knows the assumptions. He knows how people speculate that his reluctance to disrobe actually means that he has a lot of them, possibly even a full Yakuza-esque shirt of them.

That’s silly, of course - what’s the point of art if it’s never displayed? Len just hates taking on his shirt, that’s all. Doesn’t like being vulnerable like that.

Also, he’s easily chilled.

Pun intended.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

1 *HELIOPHILIA SPOILERS*Why me first?? lol its gonna have to be in sections cause its not gonna fit in one ask. Ima number them lmao. Heres the thing, I'm a mixture of a cold realist/hopeless romantic. I can really appreciate it because its beautifully realistic. Irl happy endings are unlikely to occur. Its an unconventional happy ending in its own way, because the characters both have an exclusive mutual understanding of their time, love, and paths. A painful understanding of the final resolve.

(Cont.)

“2 *HELIOPHILIA SPOILER* Also, I like that in her first sight of her she was coming out a bookshop, carrying a book.. when in the beginning Camila taught her how to read. I love when things are full-circle omg. And for me its symbolic of different chapters in life (oops pun lol) as in, the then and now. I enjoy that it shows clarity in that they’ve found ways to move on, C with child and L with partner, to make the “now” worth while.

3 *HELIOPHILIA SPOILER 😩* Part of my reflection is this, love and the ability to hold onto it is a fleeting thing, but memories and moments are not. This fic made me so reflective afterwards lol, I felt quite sad, empty and even nostalgic. I love stories that can make me feel the pain they’re trying to convey, and almost feel it physically. But I love it. Enough of my emo ass, now you go please, cause I’d much rather see what you have to say lol”

————-

Okay first of all, I know I should have re-read the epilogue so I’ll know what I’m talking about. But I don’t want to lol. That shit made me cry, and I rarely cry. I only cried reading that fic and YMMS.

Anyway, I’m all for that kind of ending, in fact I’m used to it because it’s quite a usual trope in literature, (although it’s rare in Camren fics, and I would prefer endgame here coz I read Camren fics to escape, not to cry my ass out lol).

And you may have noticed (in my fics and how I answer asks) that I too am a bit cynical when it comes to love and happiness (fleeting, unstable).

BUT, here’s my tiny issue with regards to the ending (otherwise, it would have been a beautiful epilogue for me)…

Camila spent ten years (idk, a lot of years) pining over Lauren. Lost in her own memories and nostalgia, so much that her marriage crumbled, her husband felt that Camila really wasn’t 100% there… The nostalgia and memories of an old flame prevented Camila from FULLY moving on and living her life, her heart not being able to fully open to another person other than Lauren. In fact, her only joy was her kid. Other than that, she spent years feeling incomplete.

Sure, she was able to function properly. She lived her life as expected of her. But like I said, there has always been a Lauren-shadow looming over her, reminding her of her happiest romantic moments, and paralyzing her with her questions of what-ifs.

So fast forward to that bookstore scene. She sees Lauren with a book and with a guy which she was looking at the same intensity and love as Lauren did to Camila before. So it means Lauren has fully moved on. She’s happy. Because one could not look at another person the same way as your great love if one hasn’t fully moved on. And the fact that she has a book, is a symbol of Lauren carrying all the good parts of her relationship with Camila (her teaching her to read) which has turned her into a better person.

So Lauren is happy, she reads, she loves her boyfriend the same way (maybe even more) she loved Camila. It’s a perfect ending for her.

But Camila, other than her kid who’s her pride and joy, hasn’t fully moved on. Because if she did, she wouldn’t have spent her conscious moments scanning for that green eyes in the crowd, out of habit, reliving her memories, and wondering how her life would have been if she found Lauren in those ten years (I’m still not sure how many years it was really lol).

And then the moment when their eyes briefly meet. This scene hurts me the most. Their eyes meet, they recognize each other, they smile, and went on their separate ways.

I mean, for real!??? It wasn’t just a fling. It was literally a life and death love story. Camila taught her how to read which Lauren has carried on her life, and Lauren also saved Camila in more ways than one. The leAst they could do is have coffee and catch up. They don’t even have to get back together or rekindle their romance. Just one quick hi hello let’s have coffee. I mean, I have shown more excitement over a simple school acquaintance than that 😫

And after that, Camila moves on as well, basically accepting that Lauren is now happy and has moved on. So it’s like something in her has lifted and she feels lighter and shit.

So basically, all ends well. They’ve become two happy adults who used to love each other in another period of their lives. Life goes on. Love comes and go, it’s reality. And it’s the memories that shapes us as individuals. I get it.

But it felt a little like a cop out ending (not overly nitpicking the author’s ending, this is more like how I felt. Because I do get the sentiment behind the epilogue, and as I’ve said, I have no problems with those kinds of endings) – the reason I said that it feels like a cop out, is because Camila spent her ten years not FULLY MOVED ON. And just like that, one eye contact, one smile, everything’s okay? Okay so maybe I get that it’s what she needed – CLOSURE. But the realistic thing or reaction for me was for them (or at least one of them) having a tiny desire to AT LEAST want to say hi. Maybe an hour of catching up, or that usual vague promise of keeping in touch (I mean is the government still keeping them apart?)

It felt like Camila was half-living those years wondering about Lauren, and sure, she finally got her closure once she saw Lauren, but it just felt too sad for me (sad for Camila).

That kind of connection and memories deserved more than a brief eye contact and a smile. It’s not like they have amicably separated or fell out of love before. No, they were torn apart. That is a situation that’s different than agreeing to go their separate ways. That’s what made it harder for Camila to move on, because Lauren was yanked away from her. It wasn’t voluntary..

I had an ex and I saw him at the mall maybe 8 years after, and it was like a half second eye contact and half a smile, and that’s it. Our tables were next to each other. It’s like nothing happened on my part, tho I’ve seen him trying to get my attention several times. My point is, I get that the epilogue feels realistic as well, because in reality, love is one of the most unstable feelings in this world. One moment you’re willing to die for that person, willing to sacrifice everything to be with that person, but then next thing you know you don’t feel anything anymore. That person simply becomes a shadow of your past.

So yeah I get it. But like I said, Camila and Lauren has bigger impact to their growth, I wanted a little more. I felt that Camila deserved more. Fuck, I deserved more after wading through the lack of indentation. 😭😫 (lol I’m just kidding, that story is one of my favorites.)

anonymous asked:

Hello! I know not a lot of people ship erestoria, but can I have some erestoria headcanon pls?

Sure thing! 

  • These two have a very intense emotional bond. They recognize in each other all the weight each one carries; they see a kindred spirit who has persisted despite great suffering. And because of this, they easily open up to one another and share their burdens, forging a connection built on trust and honesty that becomes unbreakable. They know each other’s deepest secrets, longings, and fears, and know what they need in a relationship to make it work. They are emotionally compatible before all else, and that bond carries them through the darkest of times. 
  • Eren makes puns constantly because he knows that Historia will either groan and roll her eyes, or laugh really disproportionately, and he honestly loves both reactions. 
  • Historia hates it when people pick her up and carry her places, even when she’s hurt, because it makes her feel weak and pitied. Eren recognizes this, but still tries to carry her all the time anyway to try to reverse her mindset and have her realizes that he’d doing it because he loves her. She still acts mad, but thinks it’s kind cheesy and romantic and lets him carry her around the house from time to time to let him feel like Prince Charming. 
  • They constantly have the coffee vs. tea debate, with Eren on team coffee and Historia on team tea. It’s something they argue about all the time, and it’s adorable. 
  • Historia is Eren’s study accountability partner. He gets off-track very easily when it comes to school work and he is the world’s worst procrastinator, but she makes sure that he actually studies and gets all of his work done on time. She will sit in a room with him and will either work on her own stuff or just watch him work until he finishes it. She also helps him with stuff when he gets confused, and is generally a great influence when it comes to academics. She knows he’s got potential and refuses to let him waste it. 

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anonymous asked:

mmmmmmmmmm give me some Shanks Headcannons - mun of a shanks blog

You gotta ask my friend JJ if you want some real good stuff but I’M HERE AND I CAN GIVE YA SOME

- Shanks is that type of guy that has a random allergy but still puts himself at risk because “yolo right” and everyone is so done with him

- (Modern AU) when his sis Rouge went into labour (both with baby loof and baby Ace) he had to lay down on the waiting room floor because his blood pressure went downhill (MAN DOWN MAN DOWN!!)

- Shanks really, really, really likes collecting weird stuff. From seashells to bottlecaps, coins to even pencils. The man needs a hobby.

- He’s that type of guy that loves making puns. LOOK AT HIM

- Every time someone says something funny he tends to let out a really loud snort (so it can echo and everyone will know he’s amused)

I HAVE MORE BUT THESE ARE THE IMPORTANT ONES OK

9

MEGA DOODLE DUMP!

1- Satarii gets drunk~
2- This last splatfest made for the best title Pun. I was a Sci-Fi King.. hehe
3- Apparently I am a jigglypuff because I pout so much.. ;w;
4- Angelito and I are a Toad and Goomba? Whaaa
5- Hey I’m Meme- I’m also Meme! and we’re the MEME TEAM!~
6- … Someone brought up smoking Eclairs and getting high off of them.. Idk?
7- EVERY TIME WE GET A MOON IN MARIO ODYSSEY, WE ALL SHOUT ‘I GOTTA MOOOOOOON’ as loud as we can. It happens A LOT. It is great! <3
8- Moon Meme featuring Angelito lol
9- I AM AEROSPRAY TRASH, AND PROUD DAMMIT~

@angelvphotography

She’s the betta half of the two