this is my stetson hat

chewbaccaaah  asked:

Please tell us about the Very Tall Gentelman

Mr. Drossel lives across the street from my parents. He’s about 6′7″, always wears a black stetson hat, black kid leather gloves and long black duster; and looks like a mix between Clint Eastwood, Slenderman, your favorite grandpa and a barn owl. He’s very soft-spoken and perhaps needlessly articulate, but in a very engaging way and I’ve never heard him raise his voice, ever.

He’s one of the best lawyers in the county and becuase I watched his dog/took care of his garden all the time when I was in middle/highschool and he was consulting for the FBI on something and was thus out of town all the time, he did all my family’s legal work (wills, architecture permits, that dust-up with the school, etc.) at a very steep discount.

His dog was a totally blind, fat little sausage of a Westie named Princess Anistasia.  She has since Passed On, but Mr. Drossel is looking into adopting a new dog, and has apparently been considering a three-legged animal of indeterminate breed but it looks like a small incursion from the Dimension Of Hair.

Explained: wot in tarnation meme
  • “What in tarnation” is a slang phrase in Southern American English that loosely means “what the hell.” This meme involves captioning images and figures with variants of the phrase “wot in tarnation.”
  • According to The Daily Dot, this meme references a My Little Pony character named Applejack, who wears a Stetson cowboy hat and has the catchphrase “what in tarnation!” However, referencing the character from My Little Pony is no longer an integral part of this meme.
  • This post from 11 December 2016 is an early example of the meme on Tumblr.
  • In January 2017, Tumblr user @bajirou posted an image of a shiba inu wearing a cowboy hat, captioned “what in tarnation”. (This original post has since been deleted, leaving only reblogs.)
  • Subsequently, in February 2017, wot in tarnation became a popular meme on Tumblr.
  • As a meme on Tumblr, it often takes an image-based format. The image typically features some person, character, etc. in a cowboy hat. Accompanying the image is a caption that is a variant of “wot in tarnation.” Often the word “tarnation” is replaced with a word or phrase that roughly rhymes.
  • The meme on Tumblr can also simply be a text post with a variant of the phrase “wot in tarnation.”
  • Click here to see examples of the wot in tarnation meme.

Where the Stetson Really Went:

*Waverly and Wynonna are hecka drunk at Shorty’s*

*Drunk Champ approaches, wearing a stetson*

Champ: “How'da'ya like me now? I figured out that the only reason you’re dating that ridiculous cop is because of the hat, so now that I’m wearing hers, can you see I’m way better than her?”

Waverly: “Go away, you’re drunk and an overall cruddy human.”

Champ: *Whiny voice* “Listen to me and give me a chanceeeeeee.”

Wynonna: “SHE SAID GO AWAY” *Puts hand on Peacemaker*

Champ: *Tries to grab the gun, starts wrestling with Wynonna*

*Big bar fight breaks out*

~ A minute later ~

Nicole: *Responding to 911 call about bar fight with guns involved*

Nicole: “HANDS UP! EVERYONE STOP WHAT THEY’RE DOING! YOU ARE ALL LIABLE TO BE CHARGED WITH AGGRAVATED- *Sees Champ* “IS THAT MY HAT?!?!?!?!”

Champ: “So what if it is?”

Nicole: “All charges are dropped, but YOU’RE UNDER ARREST FOR THEFT.”

Waverly: “Nicole, are you sure? As much as I hate Champ, it’s just a-”

Nicole: “IT’S NOT JUST A HAT, IT’S MY MF'ING AWESOME STETSON.”

Champ: “Woah this isn’t even fair-”

Nicole: “SHUT UP THIS IS COMPLETELY STANDARD OPERATING PROCEDURE”

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Folks, I’m goin’ down to St. James Infirmary,
See my baby there;
She’s stretched out on a long, white table,
So sweet, so cold, so fair.


Let her go, let her go, God bless her,
Wherever she may be,
She will search this wide world over,
But she’ll never find another sweet man like me.


Now when I die, bury me in my straight-leg britches,
Put on a box-back coat and a stetson hat,
Put a twenty-dollar gold piece on my watch chain,
So you can let all the boys know I died standing pat.


An’ give me six crap shooting pall bearers,
Let a chorus girl sing me a song.
Put a red hot jazz band at the top of my head
So we can raise Hallelujah as we go along.


Folks, now that you have heard my story,
Say, boy, hand me another shot of that booze;
If anyone should ask you,
Tell ‘em I’ve got those St. James Infirmary blues



luke had always loved a good southern belle and that’s why he instantly fell in love with you the moment he saw you. he loved that you always wore bright yellow sundresses and that you brought him lemonade out to the field when he was done rounding up all the cattle. from the moment you met, all your friends told you two that you were going to end up married and you didn’t doubt it. you carried the glass of fresh lemonade out to your boyfriend, watching as he switched his weight from his hips - light blue plaid shirt tucked into his levi’s and complete with a belt with an intricate buckle. he smiled as you approached, taking the glass from your hands gratefully and chugging it down. “you know,” he said, his bright blue eyes meeting yours from underneath the brim of his stetson. “you’re always gonna be my girl,” he grinned, grabbing his hat and placing it upon yours. and you knew it was true, you would always be his with all of your heart

for anarchyaustralia‘s cowboy!5sos blurb night!

7

Summer Uniform

Casual Basics To Get You Through The Heat

If you catch me around the city this summer, I’ll most likely be wearing some variation of this outfit. It’s easy, comfortbale, and still looks half stylish so basically it’s a win for me. Tanktops are slowly replacing solid tees and again relaxed trousers in lightweight fabrics are replacing skinny jeans to give my legs more room to breathe. And although I was never really a “hat” person, after my first fedora, I’ve been kinda sold on the look. It’s nice to switch things up from my usual snapback to add some variety to my looks. What does your summer uniform look like?

Wearing:

Stetson Hat // Urban Outfitters Tanktop // Kild Official Pants // Birkenstock Sandals

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