this is my spiral into insanity

It’s time write unnecessary posts about kids’ shows.
The catchy musical climax of “Face The Music” has been, in my opinion, a masterful payoff to an insane Season-long build-up. Each part of Ruberiot’s ballad dealt with a different “shade” of the show’s plot and really proves that all of this was carefully planned from the beginning. Other than that, it was actually visually appealing and very well-animated.

This season’s recurring theme was all about Star refusing to face her problems and how she rather preferred to run away from them. This eventually spiraled into keeping dangerous secrets. This latter part was kinda solved in “Raid The Cave”, with the princess finally telling the truth to her parents.

The apple never falls far from the tree however, as Moon does exactly the same thing as her daughter, but with the Magic Council instead, which understandably gets really mad at the Queen when they find out what happened at Glossaryck. One could argue that she did it for all the good intentions of this world, which I have no doubts it’s true, but the point still stands: if you keep secrets like this with the people you love, or people that *should* be informed about such things, the unmentionable will eventually hit the fan and get back at you and your fancy royal dress.

And speaking of secrets, in the spirit of Season 2, whenever Star messes up, the Universe calls her out for it, and this time is 911 material, because it’s a freaking murder. Once again, pretending that such issues do not exist is not going to help you, especially when friends (and best friends) are involved. However, I’d say that the point is not really “Star should have told Marco about her feelings” but more like “Star refused to acknowledge that those feelings existed”, which is not really different from the whole “running away from your problems” theme of this Season.

Basically, the song sequence single handedly dealt with lore (everyone finding about Star’s mishaps with the spell book) and Starco, kickstarting the heartbreaking events of “Starcrushed” and who-knows-what in Season 3. 

TL;DR: “Face The Music” has a great satisfying climax that should not be overlooked, considering what happened in the following episode.

note to self: a fic called ‘timebreaker chronicles’ or similar where it’s literally just how different ot3 configurations come about, all involving the same two people thanks to timeywimey shenanniganry

ladynoir > lady/noir/lady, chat/lady/chat

adrinette > adri/mari/adri, mari/adri/mari

marichat > mari/chat/lady, mari/chat/adri, mari/chat/mari, mari/chat/chat

ladrien > lady/adri/lady, lady/adri/mari, lady/adri/chat, adri/lady/adri

did i get them all

and then, because this is already horribly self indulgent, hit ‘em all with a/b/o

and then invert the a/b/o

and then fuck with the reveals and maybe the ages and maybe the backstories and then slip sideways into kwami swaps and


it would never, ever end

I’m so f****** pissed right now. All of us are constantly distracted, our monkey minds are racing non stop and we’re feeding our minds and bodies with toxic shit day in day out. We’re so damn privileged, yet most of us don’t wake up in the morning feeling truly blessed and grateful for what we have. We are so blessed to be born into circumstances other people in different parts of the world will never experience, no matter how hard they try. Most of us feel lost and are damaged in one way or the other. Numbers of people suffering from mental and physical illnesses are going through the roof. Most of us are trying to fill this screaming emptiness inside with materialistic possessions no one actually needs. At first, it looks like we’re more connected than ever, globalization leaves the impression that it brought us closer together, yet there are so many people suffering because they feel meaningless and lonely. We get into huge fights about the smallest things, we can’t seem to solve big social issues that have been around the same amount of time humans have lived on this planet. We write books and make movies about heaven and hell while we’re already living this! Heaven and hell is all around us, we just need to wake up and see that! Instead we spend billions of dollars on creating art, cars, fashion, yoga studios or holiday resorts. Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with art, music or traveling. But the price is too high to do all these things out of habit, in a mindless and wasteful way. And by the end of the day these things don’t even manage to make us happy anymore because we’re already on to the next thing. We’re insanely addicted to having more and more and more. We’re always in a rush, always trying to be somewhere else or someone else. We attack, we waste time, resources and energy non stop. If someone is outspoken about animal rights or is trying to make the world a better place, they get called a tree hugger and a “weird hippie” and is asked to stop smoking weed or drop acid, and to grow the fuck up. Meanwhile the ice is melting, trees are dying, climate is changing at a pace that leaves scientists surprised. Sure, they saw it coming, but not this quick. We’re actually close to the 6th big extinction period in the history of the earth. Let that sink in. Why isn’t everyone on their feet trying to fix this? What the fuck are we doing? Scientists say we have maybe 20 years to fix this mess we made. So what the hell are we doing? Being on tumblr, Netflix, instagram, being busy making a living, being busy caring about what others think, being busy exploiting other humans, even the people we call our “loved ones”, and of course the planet that is our home.
I stopped being a vegan because I was tired to be looked down on, I stopped being active and outspoken about environmental issues because at some point I felt like I was being annoying. And, you know, life was happening. I was doing what we’re all doing: trying to make money, trying to be okay with not being appreciated in my job, trying to be in a relationship, trying to be someone, trying to make myself happy, trying to fit in and feed this insanely flawed system. Even though I knew better, I got tired and went back to doing what everyone else is doing. I shut my mouth and made myself believe that I tried. Meanwhile I also felt like there were so many social issues that had spiraled out of control that it seemed silly to me to focus on trying to produce less trash and work towards a more environmentally friendly lifestyle. And I’m so mad at myself right now, and so mad at this whole situation. Why isn’t everyone else angry? Why are our ego driven, social problems so much more important than the massive damage we’re causing? Why aren’t we giving a shit about Mother Earth? Why is it more important to us to lose weight, look good, be liked, fit in, make no one angry, be famous, have lots of followers, fulfill our dreams? I really really don’t get it. I can’t continue to talk about these fucking small first world problems anymore, things that don’t matter the slightest when you look at the bigger picture. I was so numb and blind. It’s time to wake the fuck up. I’m not saying mental illnesses don’t matter. I’m not saying social issues aren’t real and bad. But we can do something about it, we don’t have to follow the same old patterns and routes we’ve been on for too long already. We don’t have to waste time and energy on feeling desperate, being overwhelmed and inactive. We have so much power, it’s time to use this power in a good way. I’m so tired of all these damn excuses.


my bf and i were playing roblox and it quickly down spiraled into this

(im the one yelling at him and he’s the one saying “bro i get ass every night”)

Carry me pt 4

Carry me (Saeran x MC)

Fandom: Mystic Messenger
Pairing: Saeran/MC -you
Rating : M
Mentions of abuse (nothing graphic!)
Summary: AU where all of the RFA are completely obsessed with MC the princess of the story, they become so very obsessed with her that they keep her in a golden cage. The RFA is the bad guy and the MC is tormented by each and every one in the RFA. Until her prince comes and saves her. Or at least tries to. 

In this part the Gatekeeper (Saeyoung) have more special moments than before. Who is the leader and how will he affect our heroines life?

Author’s Notes: Mc is a princess like/former dying star~~ everyone is enthralled by her beauty and pure heart~ Hope you like it so far! ₍՞◌′ᵕ‵ू◌₎♡


Save me, save me from everything that is holding me back from soaring high above the vast blue skies with you. Unleash these cold, iron chains that are keeping me from you; unleash me from this pain and let me feel your warm embrace, let me feel your hands around my waist. I want to breathe you in, I want to recall your smell, but it has been so long I am afraid that I am about to forget. Though I am constantly wishing for a miracle to just let me go, to let us be one, to finally be together. I constantly fear that I might lose myself inside this cage and in time even lose all of the special memories we made together and in time lose all memories of you. If it wasn’t for the random visits from the gatekeeper, I would by now, probably be guessing if I might have made you up. 

There were no signs of you ever being here, ever stepping through those gates, setting foot in my heart like you did on that day. But the pain, I feel of not having you near is clearly a sign that you ought to be. That you must exist somewhere out there and not just in my heart. 

The gatekeepers visiting kept me sane and he has been trying to ease the pain by being somewhat kind to me. He hasn’t let Zen enter through the gates no matter how much he screams at times or if he cries out for me. I have felt bad for him, I did somehow feel his pain and I did wish to ease the pain, but the gatekeeper made me promise not to let him enter. Zen was…not well enough to be left alone with me, so they decided to let him be off of the drug he craved so much – the drug being me. On the other hand, Yoosung was allowed to visit. I was completely flabbergasted at that – for it was him who has hurt me much more often than Zen ever did and it was Yoosung who broke me so often. But alas, I had no saying in the matter, they thought Yoosung was too nice, too sweet to hurt me too badly. And I must confess that he was actually very kind to me. It was strange how he at times could be very kind and would spoil me rotten with his kindness and his presents but at times his darker side would come up and he would try to corrupt me. His sweet side loved to dress me in pretty dresses, play games with me and cook me food. He loved to make me sweets and he would usually see me as a sweet, cute girl. Although he seemed so loving, so gentle and just so sugary sweet, there was darkness inside of him. A kind of darkness that could only be found in people who lost a lot in their lives. Yoosung did seem like someone who has lost something very special to him – a former lover or someone else? I didn’t know, since he never spoke about it as openly as one would think, he kept most of his pain deep inside of him – all of which made him become more vicious. 

As he was in his darker modes all he wanted, was to sink low and he would take me with him if I allowed it. At times his darker self would turn out to be very sweet, but his sweetness was hidden behind pity. Like today when he came to visit me, his eyes were full of pity. His behaviour was akin to that of a disobedient child. He would slap me and call me a whore but in just a split second he would kiss the wounds he left behind and stare at me with pity. It was a game that I never could win and it would always make me feel strange. For at times I liked his companionship and I even thought at times that he was a kind and gentle boy, but he would often inflict pain that not one of them would ever do. He was just a strange boy that tried very hard to be a man.

He left soon enough, after he kissed me all over, after he played his perverted games. He might seem innocent but between the sheets was the one place where he was able to let himself go and let his desires run wild. He could be as free as he desired. Most of the times he would envelop his whole body around me – he seemed almost like a snake, holding me tightly to his body. His hands would slide everywhere they could, he was gentle and teasing. Every time he touched a new spot that made me go wild he would tease some more. 

He loved to nib at my skin. He was like a small animal. Nibbling, kissing and licking that was all he would do. But most of all he loved to pound me, my legs over his shoulders and he would kiss them in between the pounding. But his gaze was unbelievable, filled with so much love and care – only at those times I truly knew that he loved me. Somewhere deep inside of him, hidden behind all the insanity he did actually love and care for me, but after so many times of being hunted down, hurt and loved at the same time – I was afraid that I would stoop to his level and become insane. 

After he finished, he would – almost demand – that I was bathed by him and afterwards he would comb my long hair. In a way he loved me, praised me but also despised the idea of having to share me. It made him go mad and in that way it was easy for him to hurt me. After he hurt me he would go crazier – it was a never ending spiral. Yoosung was far gone and it was in a way his own fault and the fault of the leader. For the leader thought it was good for the members to let out their deepest, darkest selves out on someone who could be hidden from society and how great is it, that all of them including him felt so strongly for me?  Afterwards he dressed me in a way the next visitor would want – this time a baggy shirt that was as big as a dress, thigh highs and no underwear. Either it was Jumin or the gatekeeper, Jaehee visited me yesterday so it wasn’t possible for her to visit that often – she liked to visit once a week. She told me that she felt dirty if she visited more often, she did need me but her craving and lusting for me was almost as sweet as having me. 

I waited patiently on my little sofa and decided to sing, it soon was a song of great anguish and sadness. My dearest, if you only knew that all the songs I sing, all the tears I shed are for you and only for you. I beg of you to come and take me far, far away from here. I gaze towards the gate where I know that you are waiting, waiting to come and save me. You are there watching over me, smiling patiently to come to my rescue. I could only hope for you to come and be with me. My voice was now hoarse for I started to shed some tears and they ever so rudely interrupted my train of thought. Also someone else interrupted my singing with their clapping. 

“I do love your singing, little canary.” Spoke the gatekeeper ever so sweetly. 

Though he used to be quite abrupt with me at the beginning and he seemed to hate me, he changed, ever so slightly. The words directed at me were much kinder, sweeter and soft spoken. His touches surprised me, but they were there and gentle. He took care of any wounds the visitors might have left behind and he would just talk and listen. He was a companion I longed for so long. But I never could fully trust his kindness it was just something that I couldn’t get used to, no matter how much time has passed and how many encounters we might have had. I never could believe him. He did try though. I might know though, why I never could believe him, the reason; were his eyes- they always seemed to be shrouded in mystery. 

To be a man able to hide so many secrets and with such ease was something that deeply frightened me. It was hard to put into words what actually frightened me, maybe it was the unknown, maybe it was the fact that he was so alike to Saeran, the one I wanted to be close with, maybe it was simply the fact that he was the one who held me behind these bars. It was him who didn’t free me, but let the canary sing behind golden bars. 

The gatekeeper sat next to me and looked at my body. “Are there any new wounds? Either you speak honestly about them or I will have to do a thorough check up on you” 
I winced at that, for his examinations aren’t pleasant, he never did anything that would make me go through pain, but he would often get annoyed by the amount of wounds or marks some of them would left behind. The whole ordeal of having me here and sharing me with each other might seem incredibly strange. I might have been locked up for a long time and I might have only lived as a star – but even I know that this whole situation is indeed strange. 

But it was the price I had to pay to even be alive. I was living a life that was painful and I might seem like a tortured princess, but the truth was a little different. I loved those times when Jumin would let me walk outside the villa with him. I loved being able to breathe in the fresh air, I loved to sing and I loved to learn new things and somewhere in my heart I did cherish these broken people. I must love them, since I let them make love to me. 

How did it feel, all of these things happening it goes something like this; hate me, break me, kiss my wounds, love me, push me away, hold me close, crush me, let me feel as good as new; but let someone save me sometime soon before I break apart. So before the gatekeeper could rip the shirt from my body, I stood up and pulled it off me. By now the only light that shone inside were the moon and stars, so I wasn’t as embarrassed as I used to be in daylight. He turned my body all around and noticed the hickeys on my legs and neck. 

Yoosung is always very thorough with you isn’t he?” Said the gatekeeper in a joking manner at which I only shrugged. “How can you still joke about it, when you always get so mad at them, especially at Zen and Yoosung?How can you say that you like me when you let me go through all of it every day?”

He sighed at that and pulled the shirt over my head. “You know that I can’t save you, it’s not my place to do something of that sorts, he has to save you or the leader has to set you free and you chances of getting either of those two are slim. He hasn’t been here in what 4 months?” 

“3 months.” I corrected him in a small voice. 

“Well 3-4 months makes no difference he left you behind is all I know. And I am trying to protect you, if I was a prince I would save you and keep you for myself. But by now, don’t you think they have become much nicer to you? It seems that the leader talked some sense into them.” 

Though I was angry at the part of Saeran abandoning me, I had to nod at all of them being nicer to me, but it didn’t change the fact that they were far away from differentiating from real love to obsession.  After some thinking I realised something, after being here for so long I never, even once have seen the leader. I always imagined him as an old, fat man who had a weird fetish but he never visited me, so I spoke up.  

“How come the leader has never visited me? You all speak of him so highly yet he never even once was here. Why?”

The gatekeeper only smirked at that, he stood up and stretched his arms out. “Well sweet puppet, do you think it was me who demanded you being dressed like that? You know Jumin’s taste and I would rather have you naked before me than that. But you do have some strange sixth sense don’t you? You see, the leader made an agreement with all of them. He too would visit you and if they would even try to harm you as they used to, he would destroy them all.”

I only sat there shocked, that - this situation wasn’t what I wanted, I hardly got used to all of them visiting now there was another person who would come and see me?

“If the leader wants it, he might be the only one in the end who can have you. So you should behave, sweet canary.” At that he leaned to my face and kissed my forehead. “Be a good girl, ok?” And so he disappeared. I waited in the dark, so I decided to light some candles.

 I walked to some of them surrounding my couch and lighted each one, while singing softly. Then I felt a small tap on my shoulder. 

So I turned around to see a tall handsome man, far taller than me and slightly taller than Jumin. He had teal coloured hair and beautiful eyes and he wore a beautiful, enchanting smile, which made me blush ever so slightly. 

“H-how may I help you?” I finally spoke up.

Ah, what a beauty no wonder they want you so badly.” He spoke and by then he went on one knee while taking hold of one of my hand and kissing it softly.

 “Greetings lovely princess I am the leader or as most people like to call me V. But you may call me as you wish, my goddess.” Speechless I only managed to nod in understanding. How can someone as charming as him be the leader of such an organisation filled with people like them? He took my hand and leaded me to the couch. 

“Let us sit and talk for a while, what do you say? My turn isn’t limited to any sort of time, so we can spend time freely with each other.” I sat down as wished and stared at him, I didn’t know what to ask of him so I only stared which followed to him blushing deep red. 

“P-please don’t stare so openly at me, you may not be aware of your beauty but you have a strong influence with your appearance.” My head tilted to the side and I questioned him. “What do you mean?” 

His hand found its way to mine and he grasped it gently. 

“At first I made a deal with the wizard, I wanted a woman as beautiful and enticing as the universe, I wanted a woman that was pure as freshly fallen snow, I wished for someone who could change and help me and my friends, to help me where I couldn’t. So then I found you, or you found me. You were barely “born” as a human so you may not recall, but the first thing you did - was  to run into my arms. You see, dearest princess it was you , who chose me.”

I chose V?


CS AU - The Librarian

Killian Jones, the Librarian, has spent most of his tenure working alone. When Belle hires his new Guardian, former police captain Emma Swan, the two immediately clash. The time they don’t spend ignoring one another is dedicated to arguing.

After separating from each other on a quest to reclaim the namesake of Captain Hook, Emma overhears the Lost Boys planning to ambush the Librarian and use him for their own mischief. As much as he annoys her, Emma takes her job as his Guardian seriously, and sets out to find him.

She discovers Killian just before the Lost Boys have him cornered, and startles their ambush. Together, they fight off the Lost Boys. When Killian demands to know why she came back, she merely says, “Because I’m your Guardian. Because it was the right thing to do.” With the tentative bonds of trust forming between them, they set out for the Jolly Roger.

I͍̝͖͓ͨ̑̓̚’̮̫̗͈͒ͩͥ͛̊͡M̵͍̭̖̼̱͚̥̎̔̐̀̐̈́ ͉͎͉̆̑̈́J̟̙̒̑̐͘U͎͈̖͉̓S̞̘̝Ţ͇̗̙̼̌ ͓̳̲͎̝̿͋͟Ḁ͚̭̯̗̻͉̊ ̩̲̣̳̺͚̇̅̆ͮ͑B̳̠I̶͓̗L̯͕̭̑ͮ́L̙̤̣̮̖̟̆̉ͭ̚,̱͗ͯͯ ̣̭̙̩͂̂͆͆̓̕ͅỸ̮͈̤̟̤̫͙ͨ͆̔́ͭ̽͢E̠̮͙̽͂̓̂S̻̘̣ ̤͂ͤ́͆͊ͩI̖̭̖̝͋̍͗̇̇̔̊͢’̴̗̫͙̜̪̺̙̉M̜̗ ̙Ơ͎̖̜͖̼͒̈́̂͋ͯN͛̓̏҉̹̟͉͍̮L͓̼̆ͥ͐ͪY̼̫ ̈́̒̈́͒Ä́̂ͫ̉ͫ͜ ̯͓̭̰̈́̌ͥͫ̉͑͌B̲̱̗̠̯I̦͔̦͇̰̳̜̍͑̌ͣͧ̔ͮ͡L̡̤̫̯͓͗̓L͍͆͂̕


So I was looking at the Midori journals, which are cool but insanely expensive, and decided to make my own version with inserts you can slip in, to replace my red spiral notebook and make it easier to keep my past journal entries organised.

This is what I wound up with! I made a bunch of sections to in Libre Office. A spell log, tarot journal, etc. And I put a little spell in Theban in the center crease of each of the pages to help me with their intent, and some crystal chips as a charm on the spine.

06|28|16 this week’s (obviously mostly empty) spread, ft. my favorite quote in the world that’s insanely special to me (bottom right corner) I’m pretty proud of it

supplies: muji A5 dotted spiral, muji 0.5mm purple gel pen, a fancy kuretake pen my friend got me (it’s all in japanese that’s all I can say about it??) another basic black muji pen

Bicycle Day April 19, 1943 

Animated by Psychedelic Preacher.  My Art | Shared Art

April 19, 1943, Hofmann performed a self-experiment to determine the true effects of LSD, intentionally ingesting 0.25 milligrams (250 micrograms) of the substance, an amount he predicted to be a threshold dose (an actual threshold dose is 20 micrograms).Less than an hour later, Hofmann experienced sudden and intense changes in perception. He asked his laboratory assistant to escort him home and, as use of motor vehicles was prohibited because of wartime restrictions, they had to make the journey on a bicycle. On the way, Hoffman’s condition rapidly deteriorated as he struggled with feelings of anxiety, alternating in his beliefs that the next-door neighbor was a malevolent witch, that he was going insane, and that the LSD had poisoned him. When the house doctor arrived, however, he could detect no physical abnormalities, save for a pair of incredibly dilated pupils. Hofmann was reassured, and soon his terror began to give way to a sense of good fortune and enjoyment, as he later wrote…

… Little by little I could begin to enjoy the unprecedented colors and plays of shapes that persisted behind my closed eyes. Kaleidoscopic, fantastic images surged in on me, alternating, variegated, opening and then closing themselves in circles and spirals, exploding in colored fountains, rearranging and hybridizing themselves in constant flux …

The events of the first LSD trip, now known as “Bicycle Day”, after the bicycle ride home, proved to Hofmann that he had indeed made a significant discovery: a psychoactive substance with extraordinary potency, capable of causing significant shifts of consciousness in incredibly low doses. Hofmann foresaw the drug as a powerful psychiatric tool; because of its intense and introspective nature, he couldn’t imagine anyone using it recreationally. Bicycle Day is increasingly observed in psychedelic communities as a day to celebrate the discovery of LSD.

My favorite characters... What's yours ?

Here’s my favorite characters ♥

Originally posted by magswoods

“Raphael’s hand tightened on the hilt of the knife. His knuckles were white. He spoke to Magnus. “I have no soul,” he said. “But I made you a promise on my mother’s doorstep, and she was sacred to me.”
“Santiago- ” Sebastian began.
“I was a child then. I am not now.” The knife fell to the floor. Raphael turned and looked at Sebastian, his wide dark eyes very clear. “I cannot,” he said. “I will not. I owe him a debt from many years ago.”  - Raphael Santiago

Originally posted by nephilimdaily

“ What? Come out of the coffin? Do you have any idea how she’ll react? “ - Simon Lewis

Originally posted by kittycheshirestuff

“Got some advice for you though. Man to man. If you think of staying just because of Emma, don’t bother. You see, she swore off romance ago when she got her heart broken. And she’s never gonna change her mind, so..” - Enoch O’Connor

Originally posted by fandcm-world

My version of events sounded perfectly rational until I was forced to say the words aloud, and then it sounded insane, particularly on the day I had to say them to the police oɽcer who came to our house. I told him everything that had happened, even about the creature, as he sat nodding across the kitchen table, writing nothing in his spiral notebook. When I ɹnished all he said was, “Great, thanks,” and then turned to my parents and asked if I’d “been to see anyone.” As if I wouldn’t know what that meant. I told him I had another statement to make and then held up my middle finger and walked out. - Jacob Portmann

Originally posted by stormborn

“Fuck you! Don’t worry about it! I’ve been staying at Ian’s since you’ve been in the can, bitch! Guess what we’ve been doing, daddy! We’ve been fucking! And I take it! He gives it to me good and hard, and I fucking like it.” - Mickey Milkovich

Originally posted by mickeymilkovichjpg

“Bring it, bitch.” - Carl Gallagher

Originally posted by vyprens

“You know what, man? Don’t do me any favors, okay? I-I can fuck any guy here. I don’t need your cisgender ass.” - Trevor

Originally posted by rihannafenty

“ It’s okay. You don’t have to stop. “ - Theo Raeken

Originally posted by showandwrite

“ All those years, I kept a secret from the world, a shred of faith. See, I never believed that life the universe, a higher power, whatever you want to call it, nothing would allow us to suffer so much without knowing true love. It’d just be too cruel and when I look at you, my faith is rewarded. Bonnie Bennett to me, you’re the whole damn world. “ - Lorenzo St. John

Originally posted by noorasseatre

"You don’t know shit about how this is going to end. I mean, we might get a nuclear bomb dropped on our heads tomorrow and… And… Then discussing this is just a waste of time, so I suggest that you just screw about talking about the future. And then the two of us will just take this thing completely chill. Let’s play a game. It goes like this.. It’s called Isak and Even : Minutt fo minutt. It.. It’s about that the only thing we need to worry about is the next minute. You up for it ?” - Isak Valtersen

Originally posted by pequicks

You’re a bit brainy. I like it.” - Christoffer Schistad

Originally posted by skamdaily

“ What an awesome guy you are! What happened that made you have such an inferiority complex that you have to piss on the feelings of a first year girl to feel cool? Were you never validated as a child, or? Did mommy never compliment your drawings? Or did daddy never come to any of your graduations? You didn’t have hair on your dick in 7th grade and you were bullied for it? Anyway, you have to seriously get over it and start behaving like a human. Stop walking around like a fucking cliche. “ - Noora Saerte

Originally posted by izzylightfray

“I love you Lukas, please wake up.” - Philip Shea

Here’s my favorite characters…who’s yours?

crazyycatt  asked:

3. “The world is black and white until you meet your soulmate” AU for snowbaz? Pretty pleaseee 😊

Thanks for the prompt ❤️❤️

It’s hard to understand just how many shades of grey there are between white and black unless you’ve experienced it firsthand. How you can tell that an apple is the same red as a fire truck without actually knowing what red looks like. How I know that Simon Snow’s eyes are the same blue as the shirt I have hidden at the bottom of my closet, the one I only take out and wear when he isn’t around. How you can tell when someone blushes because of the grey that’s a little bit darker than they grey of their skin, which is a tanner grey than someone else’s, paler than another person’s. It’s a color with so many facets.

I hate it.

Some people are lucky. Sometimes they don’t have a soulmate, and the world is in vivid color from birth for them. They don’t even understand, can’t comprehend what the rest of us are missing, because it’s so normal for them. Others meet their soul mates while they’re still so young that they hardly remember the monotoned world of their childhood.

But some people never meet their soulmate. Some people meet their soulmate and never touch them, just go about their daily life until one day they die still waiting for the burst of color that will never happen.

If your soulmate dies, you never get to see color. If you already met them and they die, the world goes back to black and white and grey, and you know exactly what happened no matter where you are.

That’s what happened to my father.

The call was really a formality, when Watford gave their condolences over the phone. “I’m so sorry, Mr. Grimm,” they said, words that he already knew he was going to hear over and over, because the world had already faded from the colors he’d grown to love into the grey that was beginning to spiral him towards insanity and depression. “She died protecting your baby boy.”

No wonder he hates me. A vampiric toddler instead of your soulmate? What a fucking trade off. What a fucking tragedy. They say that if you love your children enough, you can keep some of the color after your soulmate dies, because you still have a little piece of them, a little piece of that love. It’s his own fault that he’s been plunged into complete darkness, his own fault that his heart is closed off even to his own offspring.

It’s not going to happen to me.

I’ve been sure that it’s Simon since the first time I saw him. Since the Crucible began pulling me towards him and I had to shake his hand, I just had to- except I couldn’t. Because he was my soulmate. Even in my tiny eleven year old heart, I knew that. And I knew what came along with soulmates. Despair. Disappointment. Death and destruction. So I stuck my tiny hand in the pocket of my suit jacket and shook his hand through that, just enough touch to get the Crucible off my back, with just enough of a barrier to keep me from seeing the color I’m sure I would if I ever touched Simon.

It’s happened in my dreams over and over, but I don’t know what colors look like. “Red is like fire,” they tell me, “and blue like ice. Yellow is the sunshine.” I don’t understand, and I’m never going to. Because Simon Snow is my soulmate, and he’s never going to know.

He’s here now, the moonlight streaming in and lighting him up like a star in the sky. Soft snores come from his mouth and a thin stream of drool seeps from the corner of his parted lips. I’ve never seen anything more beautiful. I turn over and go to sleep.

The second closest I’ve ever come to touching Simon was in third year. He was shouting at me, nasty things, and all I wanted was to pound his idiotic face in. All I wanted was to see the blood pour out of his nose and know that it was my fault. I caught my fist mid air, screamed “Anathema” even though we were outside, and ran as fast as my feet could carry me to the Catacombs.

The closest I’ve ever been to touching Simon is right now. My heart is having a wild party in my chest, and it invited all its friends. I can’t see, I can’t hear, I think there’s butterflies in my brain, I think I’m going to vomit. He has my by the collar of my shirt and he’s got one finger pointed at my face, terrifyingly close to the tip of my nose. I stare at it with both eyes, looking cross eyed and tiny and frightened, even though I’ve got a good 4 inches on him and I’m pretty sure I could kick his ass if it came down to it (as long as it wasn’t a magical battle). I can smell the smoke rolling off him in waves, and he’s so close that his breath hits me and he must have eaten bagels for breakfast because in the midst of the morning breath is a hint of cream cheese. He’s so close. I can’t breathe, I can’t fucking breathe.

“Get out of my face, Snow,” I choke, trying to scramble backwards without pushing him away, afraid my bare hand will brush his bare arm.

“Who’s gonna make me?” He taunts me. When he smiles, I can’t tell if I want to spit in his face or grab him by the back of his neck and take him down, kiss him until I can’t feel my lips, not let him up until morning. Probably a little bit of both. If this were a scene in a movie, he’d kiss me and I wouldn’t have to worry about it. Or he’d knock me the fuck out and I’d wake up with the world in color. But this isn’t a movie, so he lets me go and shoves me backwards, both hands flat on my chest and storms out of the room.

When it happens, it’s the dumbest reason possible.

He doesn’t have his fucking shoe tied. Of course he doesn’t, he’s Snow. We’re in fifth year and he doesn’t know how to tie his goddamn shoes. I have half a mind to bend down and do it for him.

I’m about to snap at him, about to whirl around as he follows me about a foot too close to the football field (“There’s no rule against me playing at the same time as you, Basil”) when it happens. When that little fucker trips up on his shoelace and face plants himself into my back.

It’s barely a touch. It’s a millisecond brush of skin, his cheek against the back of my neck, but it’s enough. As I see the shift, I understand why people say blue is like ice. Because my body feels like ice, and the sky is blue, and that’s exactly how I feel.

I run before he has a chance to get up.

It’s disorienting to move as one color after another fades into my vision. There’s more green in the world than I ever would have imagined, on the leaves and in the grass and even my uniform. The sun looks more white than yellow, and it’s still just as blinding. My shoes are bright fucking orange, and I decide right then and there that orange is not my favorite color.

The world in color is a sensory overload. I try to make it to the Catacombs, where everything is dark anyway, but I can’t run that far with my head spinning like this. I fall down over a tree root and curl up at the base of the trunk, trying not to cry.

The inevitable footsteps are Simon’s. I can tell because of the way he’s plodding through the forest, as if he’s trying his damndest to step on every twig and crunchy leaf in the damn thing. “Baz?” He calls out. I’m too afraid to look up. Too afraid by what I hear in his voice, too afraid of the sticky blood I can feel congealing on my face from my fall, what he might think that means. Too afraid that maybe, just maybe, he didn’t see the colors at the same time I did. I’ve never heard of one-sided soul mates, but who the fuck knows? It’d be my luck.

It’s obvious when he sees me. The plodding stops, and he walks up in a gentler manner. Like he’s only trying to step on half the twigs in the forest. “Baz? I think we need to talk.”

“I think we need to not do that,” I say (ever so eloquent, Basil).

“Could you look at me? For once in your life could you not be a prick and could you look at me?” there’s something a lot like pain in his tone. It intrigues me. But I can’t. I can’t look at him. Simon Snow in black and white is difficult enough to handle- in full color, he’d surely kill me at the sight of him.

“I can’t.” I hate how pitiful I sound, so pitiful that I feel his hand on my back, rubbing small circles into it. I flinch away from his touch, as if it isn’t already way too late.,/p>

“We’re soulmates,” he says, like it’s that simple. Like it doesn’t ruin everything.

“I know.”

“Did you know that my eyes are blue? I looked in a mirror. They’re a really nice blue. Did you know that cardinals are red? I didn’t know that. Penny’s hair is purple, Baz, it’s purple. Did you know that?” Have you seen purple yet? I brought a purple flower that I saw. To show you. In case you haven’t seen it. It’s my favorite.”

It’s impossible to hold back the bitter laugh gathering in my throat. When it comes out, it’s stillborn. A dry, ugly, dead thing. It quickly turns into a sob. I look up at Simon, because what the hell else could go wrong, and he’s beautiful. The git.

“You’re covered in blood,” he says worriedly, wiping at it with the sleeve of his sweatshirt. “Here’s the flower.”

It’s a pretty little thing, and purple is a very nice color. I reach out and take it, realizing that I no longer have to be careful not to brush Simon’s hand with my own. “Thanks,” I manage to sniffle out.

He looks at me like he’s trying very hard to figure something out. “What?” I snap, harsher than I intended.

“I just don’t know what color your eyes are,” he says, almost to himself. “They’re green and grey and blue and brown… Is there a name for that?, ”

“Eyes like that are called hazel,” I tell him, and he nods in recognition of the name. I’m surprised by the information. I didn’t know my eyes were hazel.

“Like the Kelly Clarkson song?” He asks, standing up and offering me a hand. I take it and he helps me to feet.

“Yes, like the Kelly Clarkson song,” I laugh.

“Here,” he says, handing me the bloody sweatshirt. “Clean yourself up, so I can kiss you.”

My jaw drops practically to my knees.

I feel… not great. I haven’t been eating super well although that’s mostly bc there’s nothing in the house rn and I haven’t been sleeping and I haven’t really been writing bc I can’t get it together bc I haven’t been sleeping or eating, etc etc. I started spiraling again about the touch starvation thing last night so I was just awake at a stupid hour and really hungry and a little lonely and feeling pathetic. I feel like. creatively drained, kind of. and anxious re: job stuff bc I have a meeting w my counselor next week and I haven’t been hunting bc I’m waiting to hear about this barista job but she’s insanely busy and told me that, so I’m hanging around waiting to talk to her and trying not to chase and I literally just don’t want to work anywhere else bc I’m a baby so I’m gonna have to go to my meeting at the employment agency and tell the grownups I haven’t done my homework, Again, and and and. rah.

Sorry I haven’t posted in months.   I’ve been in a pretty bad place mentally, and it feels like a lot has happened.   I’m making a video about it now which I’ll post tomorrow.   

Every time I thought to tell you about why I hadn’t posted for a while or uploaded any new videos I was immediately inundated with thoughts like “No-one’s going to care until you have something to show them” or “You should wait until you have a more impressive video to come back on.”   That thinking made me more worried, which took more time, which made me feel more pressure to make something good… it spiraled pretty quickly.   

It took a very long time to realise the nature of those thoughts was emotional, not logical, and the emotion was actually making it less likely I would do something useful.   Logically, 99.9% of you are always insanely supportive, and explaining what I’m struggling with means there is less worry on both sides, which will mean you are kept in the loop and I am able to reassure myself I’ve been honest and open when feeling that kind of stress.

When I did realise all that, eventually I was able to calm myself and change my mind.   It doesn’t matter whether the next video is impressive, just honest.  
Again, sorry for not keeping you in the loop, and hopefully tomorrow’s video will clear things up a bit.

anonymous asked:

No relationship lasts, and even then, one of you will die. If it's you, Oncie will live in solitude for his life, consumed by sorrow. If it's him, you'll shut yourself away, spiraling into insanity. Nothing lasts. Friends? I doubt it. They're around for even shorter times. You have, judging by average, about 40 years left. Have fun.

You are a very bitter and unhappy person, I see. But don’t try to ruin my good mood and happy life with your salt. I know everyone is going to die, I’m not stupid. But the only thing I can do is enjoy my time here amongst the living while I can, and make it the best I can for myself and the people around me. It’s called being positive. I suggest you try it out sometime.

Metal Torture - Chapter 12

AN: I woke up to a bunch of new note alerts and it blows me away at the comments, likes, and reblogs.  You’re truly the best and I appreciate you all so much.  I’ve been working on this story for months now and I never imagined I’d get the response that I have.  It’s all because of you guys and I love you for it! 

Things are definitely taking a turn for our couple, spiraling a bit more into insanity and instability.  I love that, but it also means that things are getting out of control. So, having said that:

Warnings: Violent Smut, Language

Enjoy, my lovelies! 


We held a memorial the following day, the remains buried in an unmarked grave. I stood, my arms wrapped around myself, my sullen face glaring at the ground by my feet. The Joker stood next to me, his hands resting on a cane, his eyes burning into the henchman chosen to perform the burial. As soon as the final shovel of dirt from the small pile was placed on the mound, I stalked off, making my way back into the mansion.

Mister J found me in the kitchen, following the sound of loud banging, several kitchen staff dashing around him as he pushed his way into the room. I wielded a hatchet, swing after swing sending chunks of a wooden chopping board flying about the counter and floor. He stood in the doorway and watched me, allowing me to finish my tantrum. The hatchet hit the counter with a loud noise and I turned to face him, breathing heavily.

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