this is my first and last presentation

Okay listen up losers I'm about to prove a fucking point.

So my presentation will be about proving season 3 Shiro is a clone and why DreamWorks made it too easy. I rewatched a crapton on episodes to make this, I need to sleep. 

If you guys didn’t notice the first thing Clone Shiro, umm wait imma call him Kuro Kuro looks at is his hand and a Galra symbol.

And that in and of itself is a big clue because there’s already a lot of meaning behind that since season 2. In which, Hunk and that team discussed how the arm can be used against them.

Memory is key! How could Galra have Shiro’s memories? The arm! Like Hunk said, if it could create memories than it’s pretty safe to say it can record them too.

Linking that with the shot of the Galra emblem is a huge deal in symbolism. Trust me I’m an English major, I deal with this shit all the time.

(I’m writing this on my laptop and phone at the same time, godspeed)


Speaking of symbolism, Ulaz made an appearance when Kuro was dazed



(Is that even Ulaz? I can’t tell I’m bad with faces)

This does two things. Reaffirm Kuro’s undying trust with his arm, and make a connection with Galra as a comrade. Lemme explain;

During Shiro’s ‘I can suddenly remember shit’ scene in season 2? He die-hard believes the memories are his and not a [insert dream here] from Galra, by showing him Ulaz they are trying to recreate that same feeling.

By showing him a Galra (regardless of being evil or not) you’re connecting the dots with trust.

That could be a good reason why the Galra decided to give Shiro a weaponized arm in the first place. Why would they power him up for shits and giggles? Haggard herself even said this:

(Bitch, no thanks.) They wouldn’t have given him a cool fighting arm just so he could be cooler in the arena. That’s fucking idiotic to arm a prisoner. (sorry)

This wouldn’t even be the first time Haggard had some evil version of Shiro

Remember this scene from season 1? Cuz I sure fucking do.

Speaking of that arm, why would they take it in the first place? Listen, it’s already pretty fishy they gave him a super arm but why would they take it at all? Dare I say, D N A ?

This leads me back to this scene here:

Why would Kuro hurt himself? A French term can explain this, ‘L’appel du vide’ translation: The call of the void. Basically, your brain is telling you to self-destruct in order to take control of a situation.  Now we already discussed how the Galra controls his brain sort of so that’s that.

Now I know what you’re saying: Oh! But that’s so he could close the wound!!

Listen, man, I did training with an Army doctor on quick fixes for medical emergencies. Now I’m not saying I’m an expert cuz I’m not, but if Kuro did that do it to heal himself up it wasn’t done correctly. Or at least done accurately…. Especially with an unknown power. This might be wrong, it was a brief training,  so don’t take this part too seriously.

Adding to this point:

If you’ve ever seen anyone wake up from a long coma, and I mean  l o n g  coma, they don’t have full feeling in their muscles and tend to fall because they do not have full control of their limbs. I’m assuming by the hair this hasn’t been up and about for enough time to get that effect.

Speaking of hair, yes guys, Kuro’s hair is WAY too long to be Shiro.

(Lmao, Shiro/Kuro w/ long hair; hit or miss??)


Kuro’s hair shows that he hasn’t cut it in at least 1 ½ years. There might not be much context of how long he was missing but I’m sure as hell it’s couldn’t be more than a few months since Keith was searching through the Glara rubble.

<Man, all these analytical essays are finally paying off>

This scene here:

Is a big clue. For real why would the Black Lion do that? Send him into more danger? That’s not right.

Well, guess what, she didn’t.

Remeber this gem? I sure fucking do.

She sent him with someone he trusts, Matt. This really makes sense cuz mATT JUST HASN’T SHOWED UP BUT IS OBVIOUSLY REALLY IMPORTANT *cough* sorry, I don’t know what came over me….

Not only does Shiro trust him but so does Pidge, and I know those two never really had a connection but they kinda all share a state of thought while forming Voltron…

So the Black Lion theoretically has seen Pidge’s thoughts and stuff. Theoretically Black has two reasons why to trust Matt.

The Black Lion has so many reasons to send Shiro to Matt and not some Galra base.

This can also help understand why the Black Lion didn’t trust Kuro.

From what I’ve seen (or remember seeing at 4 AM, I haven’t slept in 45ish hours guys, help) all of you guys think that Black knows that’s not Shiro from the Connection they have but that might not be it!

Kuro thinks he’s Shiro, he has the same memories, the same body, the same scar on the face! So the Connection can still be there, what he doesn’t have is Matt with him.

Which wouldn’t make sense because Black sent him there, so it’s ridiculous cuz “hey I sent you to be with your buddy? Why didn’t you bring him along to see his sister who has been searching for him like crazy???”

That could be why the Black Lion found Kuro and trusted that was the OG but then changed its mind and was like ‘no thanks’ when she saw Matt wasnt with him.

I mean look how….happy?? She looks when they find him!

Why would that change after the fact? The Connection had to be there in order to sense him in the first place. It just makes sense.

Also look at the symbolism here again:


Kuro is in a Galra ship, it’s so subtle you might not even catch it (unless you’re used to over analyzing everything in order to fit 3 more pages into a term paper like me)

Instead of animating Kuro getting physically off the fighter they show them apart, separated from Black. They show him in enemy weaponry.  

As an enemy kinda…


(I’m getting too into this…)


This is Kuro while he’s being cloned

This is Kuro after he’s ‘escaping’

Sounds like the plan was a success, but all that happened was Kuro getting away? I don’t know about you but prisoners stay locked up, unless they aren’t.

They even say Kuro’s is approved for Operation Kuron!


Also from that scene:

Kuro was given that codename ‘Subject Y0XT39′

But Shiro already had a codename, and it wasnt that.

Its ‘Prisoner 117-9875′

Subject and Prisoner are two different things and two different codes.


Kuron is already a huge fucking clue. I donno know if you seen this yet but,

Shiro’s name is literally White and the opposite is Black or Kuro which sounds a lot like Kuron


If you think that’s just a coincidence then try this:

Just try telling me this isn’t legit?


To add just a bit more, Kuro and Keith clashed a lot while both trying to lead Voltron.

He also made it so Keith looked like a weak leader, which he was not once he got more use to the role.


Appearance wise, Kuro is different from Shiro in a low key way. First off both haircuts he has where different from Shiro’s. They’re all horrible but that’s a different story.

His cloths is different too, it shows more skin. The sleeve shows his arm and he took off his glove. Symbolically this means he trying to be more open, more free, more approachable.

This would make it easier to give the wrong feeling of trust to the team, which is the plan Kuro was given


*searching through my notes* okay did I miss anything…? Ah Yes!!


When Shiro first meets those two freedom fighters the transmission radio picks of two things; something less important about Lotor and Voltron.

Which one was ignored and which one was heard?

Yes guys, Kuro didn’t even pay attention to Lotor cuz that’s not what he was told to do. He was told to find out about Voltron which, he did.

Also with those freedom fighters, we learn this:


It wouldn’t have been easy to escape injured and tired. When he escaped the first time it was with the help of Ulaz. They didn’t even try keeping him there, he wasn’t restrained and didn’t have any guards. The only thing trying to stop him were those androids they know Kuro/Shiro could easily defeat.

And last thing.


And I think this is the most important thing.







He didn’t finish that sentence.


He didn’t say he wasn’t a traitor.


He didn’t have too.



This concludes my presentation on ‘Proving That’s not Shiro but Kuro the Clone’

Thank you for your time.

For my next presentation, I will talk about why we should save Kuro and love him indefinitely

rollingstone.com
LCD Soundsystem's Gavin Russom comes out as a transgender woman
LCD Soundsystem's synth player and technician Gavin Russom has come out as a transgender woman.

Gavin Russom, synth player and technician for the band LCD Soundsystem, came out as a transgender woman in a new interview with Pitchfork.

She says she took some time for self-care after the band’s 2016 tour and had the opportunity to spend time with other transgender women. She’s keeping her same name, but will go by she/her pronouns and begin presenting in a way that feels truer to herself. 

A few excerpts from her interview, of which a portion is written in first person:

I’m 43 and I can identify that once a decade, I made a concerted effort to make my trans identity known. That includes a period of time when I was a child in the ’70s, when I was going through puberty in the ’80s, and then several periods throughout my twenties, thirties, and forties. What makes this time different is that I’m in a stable moment in my life. Working with LCD Soundsystem all last year and then having a solid block of time off to focus on self-care was really important for me. This is what came out of that. I don’t like coming out so much as a term, but sometimes it’s the only way to say it. […]

Up until this point, I felt comfortable working with my own gender fluidity, my own identification within the feminine end of the spectrum, and the politics that arise from those things through my music. Retroactively, this is a thread that goes through my entire body of work. It’s an interesting way to listen to it if you weren’t already getting that.

I feel very blessed because the world that I operate in is relatively open-minded. I mean, the electronic music world can be extremely bro-y and also close-minded and sometimes even worse than maybe a more traditional office job. However, at least where I’ve found myself, the people who are around me have been very supportive. I still had fears that I might experience consequences, mostly because I know so many trans women who have lost their jobs when they’ve come out. It’s a very unfortunate reality. There was a fear and awareness that my ability to do this really is a privilege—and it shouldn’t be, but it is. […]

It has been a process of paying really deep attention to what’s going on with me. I had a very significant moment very early on when I called my bank and the teller said, “Oh sir, thank you so much for calling us.” It’s so hurtful, and of course they don’t know—they’re just looking at a document that has a gender identifier. But it was so powerful to just be enough in my own body to say, “Whoa, that didn’t feel good.”

There was legitimately something unmanageable for me about living as a cis man. I was working so hard just to present this image of myself that ran very deeply counter to who I really am. There’s nothing theoretical or intellectual about that. It’s the physical thing in my body. It felt like there was almost another person constantly walking next to me being like, “Hey, hey, hey, pay attention to me, hey, hey, hey.” To some degree I wish I had been able to work through it sooner, but I’m also very glad that I worked it the way I did. Having gone through 42 and a half years of being in denial and trying to work through this stuff has given me a lot of experience.

Congratulations, Gavin. Thank you for sharing your music and your story. 

Day One Hundred and Eight

-I heard a child’s voice shout, “Cowabunga!” They were not within my field of vision, so I cannot confirm the type of gnarly stunts that they have just pulled, but I am certain that they were suitably sick.

-Readers of these stories will know that I place a great deal of value in returning shopping carts to their rightful place post-purchase, but I would like now to add a stipulation to this rule. You are more than welcome to abandon motorized carts anywhere you may please. I will never complain about being paid to drive a go-kart through the store.

-A woman waved a Lego Batman backpack at me, asking if it was a good size for a four year-old. I was unsure whether she meant for one to carry or for carrying one. I nodded either way.

-A child demanded a toy despite his mother saying no and having to wrench it out of his hands. I placed it in a bin behind my register and continued the transaction, only to find the child behind the register with me, stealing the toy back. As his mother caught him, he threw himself to the floor and tried to crawl his way back to the toy, wailing and clawing as his mother held him by the ankle. His passion and perseverance will carry him far in life, and if he learns that shrieking and sneaking do not go hand in hand, and that he, more often than not, will lose in a battle of brawn with an opponent who can pick him up in one arm, nothing will be able to stop him.

-A three year old grew very concerned as I handed them a sticker, explaining that they weren’t sure if they could leave the store with it. Never has a face been filled with such a combination of ecstasy and disbelief as theirs when I told them that they could.

-A kind man purchases a few toys for his granddaughter. I slipped a handful of stickers into her bag as I handed it to her, and he slipped something to me in turn as I handed his receipt to him. It was not until they had already left that I looked down to see that if was an origami ring fashioned out of a dollar bill. I firmly believe this to be how all transactions should be carried out.

-My understanding of my luck has been reaffirmed today. Despite months of being perfectly cognizant and present for guests that will likely never give me a second thought, it was today that, in a state well beyond cold-induced delirium and incoherency, three readers recognized me and chatted with me for a while. I appreciate their kindness, but I hope their first impression is not one that will last.

I was happy for him. As you said, [Cheryl] is one of the most beautiful women in the country. He did well, as far as I’m concerned! She’s a lovely girl, he’s a lovely guy, and now they’ve got a baby. It’s great … I have my presents [for the baby] ready, I was gonna go round and see him, I texted him last week but he was in America. And then, when I leave [London] he comes back, and I just keep missing him. But, when I’m done with my promo, [going to see Liam and the baby] be the first thing I’ll be doing.
—  Niall on Liam and his baby on The Bizarre Podcast (via thedailypayne)
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mar 23 2017 // ap chemistry

we finally finished learning all the necessary material for the ap chemistry test… so I can finally present my flashcards system!

this is how I have been studying for all of my second semester chemistry tests, and it’s how I will study for the ap exam.

read more about this flashcards system below the cut!

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guide to the first week of college

hey guys! i’ll be starting my sophomore year of college in just over a week (!!), and while i’m not new to the whole college thing, i will be new to my school this year as a transfer student, so i wanted to share these tips for y’all !

  • figure out where all your classes are beforehand - there’s nothing worse than being late on the first day, especially if you have small classes. don’t start off on the wrong foot! hopefully you’ll have some sort of orientation/tour that shows you the basics, but if you’re living on campus, you’ll likely be at school before the first day of classes - use this extra time to get familiar with campus and find out where all your classrooms are (not just the buildings, find the actual class if possible - some buildings are ridiculously complicated as far as room numbers go, trust me!). if you’re commuting to school, try to come an hour or so early to do this as much as you can (and you can also use time between classes to figure out where you’re headed!)
  • become friendly with the people around you - whether this be your roommate, the people sitting next to you in class, or the other people on your floor, it’s always nice to be on good terms with as many people as possible. make friends early - even if they don’t stick (and a lot of early friendships don’t), it’s nice to know a lot of people! get to know people in your classes, even though it’s harder to do this than it might’ve been in high school since often you just have the one class together. you never know when you’ll have to miss a class, and having someone to get notes from is such a relief (also study buddies !! super important !!)
  • wait until you’ve gone to class to buy textbooks - a lot of teachers will tell you that you don’t really need it, or that an older edition works just fine. whatever the case, it usually doesn’t hurt to wait to buy textbooks until you’re at school (plus, if you’re like me you may end up dropping the class you already bought 7 books for)
  • try out different study spots - there are so many places on a college campus to study: your dorm room, dorm lounges, library, student union, coffee shops, random class buildings, the quad - try them out and see what works best for you! a change of scenery can go a long way toward helping your productivity!
  • call your fam - they probably already miss you and with so much new stuff going on you’re bound to have lots to say - don’t get too caught up in the hustle and bustle of a new year!
  • get comfy with your dorm room - this is your new home for the year, make it work for you! it should be your happy place. figure out good storage systems. & try to have a good relationship w ur roomie(s)! 
  • keep ahead on homework - it’s easy to put it off when it still feels like summer, but come next week you’ll likely be drowning in work and lack of free time - do as much as you can as soon as you can, future you will thank you!
  • look into a job on campus - see how your class schedule plays out, and see if working on campus is a good idea for you. there are so many options and there are usually still a lot of openings by the first week, so take advantage of it now before all the positions fill up for the semester! (also from personal experience working in a dining hall is decidedly Not Fun, would not recommend), however
  • be kind to the maintenance workers and kitchen staff - as well as other workers on campus. usually they go unnoticed, but they’re (from my experience) so so kind when you take the time to say hi and ask them how they are. the kitchen staff i worked with in the dhall were some of the sweetest people i met on campus last year
  • keep your door open and hang out in your floor lounge - (if you have one) first week is prime time to meet new people, since everyone goes into it brand new. keep your door open and have convos with people who walk by (maybe have some treats and invite them in to share - everyone loves free food !). so many of my friends were made by “studying” (i use the term loosely haha) in the lounge
  • go to events - they’re probably free and often give out free food/goodies/t-shirts, plus they’re a good way to meet people and see what sorts of things you can get involved with on campus! esp if you have an involvement fair with clubs presenting, go and try to go to the first meeting of any club that sounds interesting to u! there’s no commitment to keep coming back if it isn’t for you, and you never know what amazing groups of people you could meet! i’d recommend only going to two or three clubs regularly though, any more than that can be a bit much (and try to balance fun with academic! - my last school even had a stationery club)

if you have any questions about college/that first week, please feel free to ask me! (also tag me in ur dorm room pics bc i love that stuff!) good luck w uni, frends!

To those Americans who haven't heard, or don't understand:

I know tumblr is American centric, I know that when attacks happen across Europe they get commented on, reblogged, information flooding my dash as my friends reblog. But, once again, an attack here in the UK is seeing little notice. So please, don’t ignore this. This attack is one that has taken 22 lives. 59 people have been injured. Children have died. Children.

Don’t ignore this. Please.

The Manchester Arena isn’t the first, or last terrorist attack that the North West, that England has seen. We’ve lived through the IRA bombings from the 1970s to the 2000s and then 7/7 in London in 2005. The IRA Bombers were known as the 10 pence bombers because they would go to a phone box, pay 10 pence and inform police or media that there was a bomb.

At this present moment in time, we’re horrified and in shock from it all. We’ve had bombings in Warrington, in Manchester before (my family had a terrifying time when an IRA bomb detonated in the Arndale Centre and my great-aunt was working there that day) and it’s stuck with us. Our memory of the Arndale Bombing in the 1990s by the IRA is a memory the community has in the North West.

We know the fear, the horror, the mind-numbing terror.

But we also know the feeling of needing to do something, to help. Taxi drivers turning off their metres. Local shops and businesses taking in the displaced. Do-gooders and kind people who just want to help offering to ferry loved ones to and from the city so they can find their missing loved ones.

This is something we do here.

We don’t have the lingering concern of school shootings, or attacks by men or women who own too many guns and have too little stability.

But we know bombers. We know terrorism. Whether it’s made by our government, by policy, or by wars we shouldn’t be fighting. We know this.

I had a friend ask me “why Manchester?” when I told them about the attack. My initial answer was that it’s a big, important city. It’s a good target for bombers to hit. Like London. Like Liverpool. But the truth is… In the UK, we have lots of cities, lots of places that are good targets because we live on top of each other. Our lives intersect on so many levels and our cities reflect this. So it’s not so much “why Manchester?” but more “why now?”, “why a concert?”, “what is gained by this?”

When the IRA bombed Warrington in the North West in 1993, their intention was to sow terror and to put pressure on the British government to withdraw from Northern Ireland. We know that they wanted Ireland to be united. We’ve known that for years.

What does Islamic State want? What does Daesh want? To sow terror, certainly. But what else? What else does bombing an Arena full of young women—girls, mothers, daughters, sisters—gain them?

This is what is so horrid for us here in the North West. We’ve lived with the knowledge of bombings being possible for decades. It’s ingrained in our past. My mother, my aunts and uncles. My brothers. My family. We’ve lived it all. We live it now.

So don’t ask, “why Manchester?” we know why. We know why. Warrington. Arndale. The Manchester Arena. We know why it’s us in the North West.

Memories Pennywise x Reader

Requester: Anonymous

Prompt: A Pennywise imagine where he saves you from Henry Bowers and after he does you think he’s going to eat you but he tells you he won’t because he’s been protecting you ever since you were little. Basically he explains it to her like a story and at the end the reader trusts him and he tells her that he will always have her back and protect her. Please just make it fluffy and cute thank you!

Warning: Bullying, death, and Henry Bower’s potty mouth

Note: Got nothing. Enjoy! XD!

Originally posted by thelongforgottenglamorousdays

Originally posted by janellalove

Originally posted by jonroru

You were once again running for you life as Bower’s and his gang chased after you. They constantly did this at a daily basis, chasing you like predator to prey.

“Run little bunny! Run!” Henry chanted.

They called you a bunny or a rabbit because you were just as fast as one and just as vulnerable as one. You were gasping for breath as you ran cursing high school for making you have to carry around so many binders and textbooks.

You eventually stepped wrong and cried out in pain feeling something snap inside your ankle as you tumbled. You whimpered from both fear and pain in the dirt as they surrounded you like a pack of hungry wolves.

“Get up little bunny.” Henry said nudging you roughly with his foot.

They laughed and chuckled as you didn’t move and only made weak noises.

“Get up little bunny. We ain’t done with you yet.” The main bully spat.

When you made no attempt to move Patrick grabbed you by your backpack and yanked you up. You had to lean on your other leg since your ankle where you felt the pain from was a bruised color.

Henry grabbed your chin squeezing your cheeks together as he seemed to examine you like a farmer to livestock. He moved his hand to your mouth and you bit down as hard as you could on the webbing between his thumb and pointer finger.

Henry cried out in pain and had to land 3 blows to your head before finally getting you to let go. He cursed nursing his hand for a few seconds before turning back towards you and punching you right in the face.

You fell to the ground and they all laughed at you.

“Stop laughing me!” You finally spoke, able to push yourself up but you had to lean on your arm.

“Oh so the bunny speaks after all. What was that you said lil’ bunny?” Henry asked getting in your face.

“I said go fuck yourself you mullet headed fucktard.”

He growled and pushed you onto the ground squeezing your throat tightly. You choked and grabbed onto his muscular arms digging your nails into them which only resulted in him squeezing tighter.

“Henry don’t kill her!” Belch warned.

“Shut up!” Henry shouted before turning back toward you.

“You listen to me now punk. If you were think of calling me that nickname again I swear to god-”

“Uh…Henry…” Patrick said.

The boy looked up and saw a clown was heading their way with a bunch of red balloons in his hand. Henry  et go of you just as you were turning blue resulting in you coughing and gasping for air desperately as he stood up.

“What do you want clown?” Henry spat.

“Care for a balloon?” The clown asked gesturing towards his handful of red balloons.

“Go fuck yourself creep.”

The clowns smile turned into a frown and you watched petrified as his eyes turned gold and he started laughing insanely. Henry took a couple steps back as the clown continued to laugh until his eyes fell out and he seemed to be morphing into something.

A wolfs muzzle grew out of his mouth as his clothes and skin ripped apart till all there was left was a werewolf. You wanted to scream but your throat was closed too tightly and your lung lacked the oxygen needed.

You were instead hyperventilating heavily unable to move. When he barked at them Bower’s and his gang scrambled away screaming like girls and tripping on the ground. The werewolf growled and you shuddered tears of absolute fear prickling at your wide eyes.

The once-clown stepped towards you and you scrambled to get up desperate to run. You only got so far before a hand—surprisingly not furry grabbed your wrist. You turned around to see it was the clown again but his eyes were a soft blue.

Still you were terrified from his earlier show of transforming into a werewolf and screamed and fought punching, yanking, scratching, pulling on his hand but that clown was inhumanly strong.

“Help me!” You cried out, “Someone help me please!”

Eventually he pulled you so your back was to his chest with his elongated arms around your waist. You shrieked at the top of your lungs and continuously struggled in vain which only made you out of breath.

You shuddered as he pulled his head down to your neck and to nuzzle and sniff the jugular vein there. You sobbed knowing this was probably the end of the line for you; you were going to end up as one of those kids on missing posters.

He was going to kill you and then eat you like the rest of the kids he has kidnapped.
You could imagine your grave right now.

(Name)

(Last Name)

Born: 1942

Died: 1958

Due to unknown circumstances

You could hear him heavily sniff your neck like he was smelling the fear radiating off your body like a putrid odor.

“Why so scared kiddo?” He asked.

You shuddered at his squeaky voice goosebumps rising across your skin from just his voice alone.

“Don’t be scared kiddo, I’m not going to eat you.” The clown promised.

“I already know your promises are empty. You are going to eat me like the rest of the kids.” You sobbed.

“If I was going to eat you I would’ve done it a long time ago.” He snickered.

“That because you just caught me now.”

“No. Believe it or not kiddo I actually have been watching you well you were still developing in your mother’s body…. Actually, I’ve been watching your entire family’s generation since the 1800’s.”

“I had fallen in love with a human mortal, your very great grandmother. I loved her until the very last day of her existence. That day though, I made a promise to her.”

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Your first record was called Born to Die. Now this record is Lust for Life. In between that, what is it that affected you enough to go from Born to Die to Lust for Life?

                   Yeah, they’re complete opposites, and it’s funny because when I chose the title, I didn’t think about it right away. It was the title of the first song I wrote for this record. But there are so many things that have gotten me to the point that I’m at now. One of them is just time. And because I do write everything myself, I just wanted to chronicle how I was feeling honestly, in the moment, for each record. So, I had a lot of stories that I wanted to tell that I hadn’t told yet up until this point. And now, through the last four records, I got out a lot of those stories and a lot of those feelings, and for the first time, I’ve caught myself up to real time. And now, I’m at this place where I feel like I’m really present, and when I’m reading the news, I’m really reading it, whereas before I was a little bit in my own head. So, there’s definitely been a feeling of freedom and lightness being in the present moment. That brings on that lust for life feeling, when you don’t have all of those feelings about the past weighing you down. I remember an interview that you did once where you said, “Around every corner there’s an adventure waiting to happen,” and I’m kind of in that zone right now. I just feel like whatever each day brings me is something that I need and I want. It’s just time. Time has brought me here. 

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“My mother used to tell me, ‘You may be the first to do many things, but make sure you’re not the last.’ I feel a responsibility to show young women what’s possible and to mentor them to own their power and fulfill their promise.”

- Kamala Harris is California’s first female, African-American, and Asian-American Attorney General and is aiming to become the first African-American female senator in almost 20 years.

Check out the in-depth Q&A with Kamala below!

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Bungou Stray Dogs Event - 02/19/2017 Night

I’m posting this for the record, and for my feelings. ^_^ My Japanese level is not that high so I admit that I didn’t fully understand everything they said. Plus I only wrote what I remember, with a bias on my beloved top 4 seiyuu. ^_^ 

This is the first-ever seiyuu event I have attended. I only came to Japan last year, but did not get to attend any last year. I love Bungou Stray Dogs in itself; with the addition of the seiyuus I really fell into this fandom hard. My top 4 seiyuus are here: Miyano Mamoru, Kamiya Hiroshi, Hosoya Yoshimasa, and Taniyama Kishou. So when the event was announced with these 4 present, I immediately ordered the DVD (where the lottery ticket for the event was enclosed; thank God I won!!). 

文豪ストレイドッグス 迷ヰ犬達ノ宴 其ノ弐

The event started with a VTR of chibi characters featuring John and the members of the Armed Detective Agency. John wants to join the event since he’s free as the Guild is already defunct. Dazai causes a ruckus and all.

Screen mode then appeared performing “Reason Living.”  I really like the lyrics of this song because it’s basically about the stray dogs T.T 

The VTR then introduced the anime cast with their respective seiyuus who were in the event. Important note: loudest fan screams for our beloved Chuuya

Uemura Yuuto - Nakajima Atsushi 

Mamo - Dazai Osamu 

Hosoyan - Kunikida Doppo 

Kamiyan - Edogawa Ranpo 

Toyonaga Toshiyuki - Tanizaki Junichiro 

Ono Kenshou - Akutagawa Ryunosuke 

Kiiyan - Nakahara Chuuya 

Kawanishi Kengo - John 

They did the usual introductory greetings with Uemura opening with, “Yokohama he youkoso” (Welcome to Yokohama). Mamo, being Dazai, joked that he’s looking for a beautiful woman who can commit suicide with him to which the crowd excitedly responded to. (Suddenly everyone wanted to commit suicide) Toyonaga, as expected of Tanizaki, was talking all about Naomi. Kenshou shouted “Yatsugare wa?” then pointed the mic to the audience, but got no response. :D He said people were supposed to reply, “Akutagawa.” And so he repeated then we gladly responded. Kiiyan, imitating Kenshou shouted, “Yogerecchimatta” which got a loud “kanashimi ni” from the audience. (Oh I can really feel how much Chuuya is loved <3) They then proceeded to their seats and the talk began with them bullying Hosoyan, esp Mamo, Kiiyan, and Kamiyan, because Hosoyan sat on the wrong seat which is Mamo’s. Mamo shouted that Hosoyan was “Ningen?” And the audience happily responded with “Shikkaku!“


Scenes, personally chosen by the anime/manga staff, were then played on the screen followed by comments from the cast. 

*Armed Detective Agency scene: Kyouka welcome party (Aw. This is really a heart-warming scene for the last episode because of everything they’ve all been through) 

The cast commented, “Aw..Kawaii.” With regards to the scene where Kunikida scolds Atsushi and Kyouka, Hosoyan shared that most of the lines were just adlib. It happens quite often during recording where for instance, there are only three lines in the script then he has to improvise by himself what follows. It was quite a task as the lines had to be interesting but it made him really do his best. (Ow Hosoyan, I’m so proud of you for being interesting

*Port Mafia scene: Mori, Chuuya, Kouyou drinking wine scene. 

“Ah so this is what happens when these 3 get together” – thought Kiiyan 

*Soukoku vs Lovecraft scene - from “Yacchimae, Chuuya” (Finish him off, Chuuya) to “Warui yatsu no teki sa” (the bad guys’ enemies) 

Ok of all the anime aired in 2016, this is my favorite anime episode of 2016. I’m just so happy that I got to watch it together with this beloved people. T.T Mamo was laughing at Dazai’s “Sono tsumori datta no da kedo omoshirokute miteta” (That was my plan but it was interesting so I watched) Kishou tells Mamo, “Chanto okuritodokero yo, aibou” (Send me off properly, partner) Omg my feelings. Mamo and Kiiyan as Dazai and Chuuya being “sweet” calling each other aibou (partner) T.T They talked about how complicated Dazai and Chuuya’s relationship is. Comparing it to how Dazai teases Kunikida just for the fun of it, but with Chuuya it’s not just like that. They really just can’t stand each other? Lol. My Soukoku feelings.

*Shin soukoku vs Fitzgerald scene

Audience and cast laughed at the sight of Atsushi being “dead” when he was thrown off Moby Dick with his eyes turned all white. 

Then ofc, everyone likes the “JINKOOOOO” scene when Akutagawa yelled and saved him. Uemura comments how this is such an intense scene plus the music scoring does well to complement the scene. Kenshou shares how he wanted to have the “JINKOOOOO” yell taken/recorded a number of times to get the best cut. Kamiyan was asked for a comment and as Ranpo, he says that he didn’t really have any battle scenes. So he could only watch how the others act on the scene and comments, “Ah, taihen sou da na” (Ah, must be tough for them”) 

*Guild scene: first appearance where they left the Mafia and Agency members “dead” in one attack. 

Again everyone laughs seeing Atsushi’s eyes all-white again. Someone (I forgot who sorry) commented that this protagonist just dies quite often. :D Mamo imitates Lovecraft’s voice, “nemui” (feeling sleepy) and other lines which he just went on doing for the rest of the night (and he did a great job ofc, I can almost believe he’s the one who voiced him lol) 


The cast leaves the stage. While the next set is being prepared, VTR plays with chosen scenes from the Kuro no Jidai (Dark Era). Ango’s seiyuu, Fukuyama Jun appears on video to comment. (I’m sorry Junjun spoke really fast; I had a tough time understanding what he was saying at all) What I remember is that he wished people should at least be kinder towards Ango. ^_^ One scene was where Odasaku, Dazai, and Ango gathered for the last time to drink in the bar, where Ango wished that sometime in the future, when their lives get better and peaceful, the 3 of them can get together once again for a drink - to which Odasaku interrupted and didn’t let him finish his sentence. 

Miki Shinichiro, seiyuu of Mimic’s leader, also gives a video comment on his scene vs Akutagawa, and vs Odasaku. 

Luck Life live came in next with “Namae wo yobu yo” and “Kaze ga fuku machi.” Oh I really, really love the last one. You know the feels you get every week when the instrumental intro of the Kaze ga fuku machi starts to play in the episode’s ending?? T.T Vocalist PON shares how he thought carefully on writing the lyrics, considering the characters’ feelings and experiences like how many things have happened, the cherishing of the important things, and the existence of important “nakama” (comrades) around you. 

The seiyuu cast went back onstage to play a game called, “Busou senta shiken” (Agency examination). Basically, they have to answer the emcee’s questions about BSD. Besides the correct answer, points will also be given to those who give answers deemed interesting aka “omoshiroi pointo.” School desks, chairs, sketchpads, and pens were prepared and set up. While everyone behaved and took their seats properly, Mamo proceeds to lie down and strike a pose on top of the desk while ofc Kiiyan also does his own. (these two!!! :D) When they took their seat, Mamo began sketching something on his pad, even without any question from the emcee yet. Kiiyan does the same thing. (someone please stop these two from being dorks!! :D) After finishing, they showed their sketches which turned out to be Toyonaga’s portrait. Mamo won what suddenly turned out to be a “contest”, as Toshi imitated his face on Mamo’s masterpiece. (Toshi then used this as his Twitter icon after!) 

Question: How many times did Akutagawa said the word “jinko” from eps 17-24 (if i remember the ep coverage right) 

Uemura and Kenshou answered more than 10 times, more than the other cast’s answers. So the VTR played and we started counting. The answer turned out to be 9 times. (Personally I thought it was more tho) No one got the right answer! Kamiyan answered 6, then quickly turned his answer upside down to make it appear as 9 lol. He got the omoshiroi points as a result. Hosoyan and Toshi got points for getting close to 9, answering 8 and 10 respectively.

Next: Draw the doll that Q carries with her. 

Hosoyan’s was shown first which turned out to be the typical Japanese girl doll. (ok I did not expect that from you Hosoyan XD) Mamo was next which showed Koitsu, you know, his beautiful character doodle. Kamiyan, as expected of him, drew a cat. Toshi drew Mamo’s portrait. Ok we’re not getting serious answers here. Kiiyan worried about the trend saying that the order of showing the answers was wrong because his would then seem boring. (Ok now I did not expect that from you Kiiyan XD) Kiiyan and Kenshou showed theirs at the same time. They did draw what the doll seems to be like getting an “Oohh” reaction from the crowd. In the end Uemura’s turned out to be the most similar. The others got omoshiroi points tho lol. 

And wait, an important shocking revelation: Mamo voiced the doll, as in that crazy laughter. He said it himself but because it’s Mamo I’m not sure whether he’s joking or not XD I was waiting for him to say, “Uso da kedo” (It’s a lie, though) as in Dazai, but he didn’t so maybe it’s true. He can do anything ok :3 

Question: Fill in the blank. One word from Chuuya’s chant in awakening “Corruption.” “Nanji, inutsunaru ____ no kyoyou yo. Aratamete ware wo mezamasukoto nakare.“ 

Ofc Kiiyan knows the answer but ofc he did not give it away. I don’t know if that’s really the case but nobody seemed to know the right answer. They just answered random words. Kiiyan answered, “バラス” (barasu). Mamo gave a long random group of words (idk if i just didn’t understand the meaning or they had no meaning at all XD) Kiiyan, as Chuuya, performed the chant, using his and Mamo’s answer lololol. Kamiyan answered Miya-no; Toshi answered O-no. Kiiyan did not want to chant with their answers lol. Meanwhile Hosoyan looked seriously troubled thinking of an answer (maybe it was hard to think of smth interesting this time lol) In the end no one got it, which is actually “oujoku” (Corruption) 

Now this is one of the best parts of the event: Kiiyan did the chant. Like OMG I’m crying I heard him voice Chuuya LIVE awakening Corruption. All my feelings T.T I just want to mention that of all the characters that Kiiyan has voiced, Chuuya is my favorite T.T And I really really love his voice as Chuuya. And I heard it live. Ok I’m not okay T.T 

Last, draw the pattern of the tail of Poe’s pet raccoon. 

Toshi drew the whole raccoon nicely (for real) but the tail was only partly shown (even tho that was the point of the question!) Kiiyan just drew a circle lol (Kiiyan it’s a raccoon, not a bunny ok). Kamiyan drew two long tails (why two Kamiyan why) Again Hosoyan was seriously drawing his, he even changed his first answer. When done, he was trying to get the emcee’s attention for him to show his answer by hesitantly raising his hand; but the emcee was busy looking at others’. So he just gave up and kept silent. (Oh precious Hosoyan baby let me protect you from this cruel world) Everyone has shown their answers except Hosoyan. The emcee (really forgetting or bullying? Hosoyan) was about to announce the correct answer, but the audience shouted “Hosoyan!” (I shouted really loud you cruel emcee), and so his answer was shown. In the end he got the correct answer!! Yey! Alongside Toshi tho. 

 The results came out: Winner - Hosoyan!! 42.5/100 Hosoyan was surprised himself, saying he had no idea how when he only got the last one right. Turns out the omoshiroi points also helped. Mamo commented on how low the highest score was lol. Hosoyan was awarded a bottle of wine and a certificate. Oh how happy Chuuya would’ve been if he had won. Anyways Hosoyan also likes wine. Kiiyan commented that it was nice that Hosoyan won the certificate which has “合格” (goukaku, success/eligibility) written on it as opposed to being called Ningen 失格 (shikkaku, ineligibility) earlier :3


The second part concludes. Then a VTR of the Kuro no Jidai was shown again. This time Suwabe Junichi, Oda Sakunosuke’s seiyuu, appears. He commented on how good the anime graphics were esp in the fight scene of Odasaku and the Mimic leader. 

He wanted Odasaku to have stayed more (like we all do) but understands that the present Dazai would not have been who he is if not for what happened to Odasaku, which we also understand (but still this hurts right :() Odasaku was a character that really left a great impression and he was happy to have been able to play the character even just for a short time. 


It’s finally GRANRODEO’s live with “Trash Candy.” The crowd went wild but my world stopped spinning as I just stood there staring at Kiiyan. I was savoring the moment as I finally heard the most beautiful singing voice in the planet live. I was thinking how blessed I am for being able to to see Kiiyan as a seiyuu, and as GR’s vocalist, in one event. And oh, it was Val-san’s last performance with GR. How ironic as it was just my first. :( 


I was not prepared for this but after GR, the emcee announced that it was already time to say goodbye. The cast and the bands appeared onstage for the last time, saying their words of farewell. Kiiyan was glad to be able to take part as a seiyuu and as GR’s vocalist in this anime. Screen mode’s vocalist, Hayashi Yuu, likewise also took part as a seiyuu (Tachihara’s). Luck life went on to promote their upcoming live :3. Hosoyan shared how acting in BSD has challenged him to do his best more. Kamiyan wanted to keep doing Ranpo. Uemura was ofc the last one to speak, and this kid really did say such heart-warming thanks and message. This is his first main protagonist role, and he’s being surrounded by such senpai-s. Mamo also shared that when the cast was announced, the director told him, “Uemura wo tanomu” (I’m leaving Uemura under your care). He felt so much of being a senpai, reflecting how far he has come right now. He has also witnessed how the two, Uemura and Kenshou (Atsushi and Akutagawa alike) has grown well throughout their experience in this anime. 

It was goodbye and all but two letters addressed to Uemura and Mamo arrived. The letters were in black-colored papers, with their names written on it. Mamo commented that he doesn’t like to receive such letters and thought that he had heard such a thing before XD (Hello Yagami Light) 

Turns out they contain special announcements. Uemura announced that a stage play adaptation has been decided, which received a great response from the crowd. 

Last is Mamo’s as the screen projected the movie poster. And there was nothing but loud cheers. IT’S A MOVIE. And it’s a new story. And most importantly, it’s SOUKOKU. Ok let me process that. Let me cry. T.T Kiiyan imitates Chuuya’s pose in the poster. They then apologized to Uemura and Kenshou for “overtaking” their kouhai-s when just a while ago they were talking all about them lol. 

Now it’s really time to go. 3 Uemura led everyone as he shouted “Bunsto” to which everyone, audience and cast, responded with an overwhelming, “DAISUKI!!” then the confetti fell from above. Whoa. Such a beautiful sight

Lastly, VTR appears with chibi Dazai asking the audience who wants to commit suicide with him on the way home. Ok everyone volunteers. Atsushi, Akutagawa, and Chuuya appear stopping Dazai from his attempt. Atsushi was ordered by Kunikida to go home with Dazai to prevent Dazai from causing harm. Akutagawa eagerly volunteers to go home with his senpai but got rejected (cruel Dazai lol) Chuuya was being tsundere but prevents Dazai from doing anything else. Ok this is Dazai’s harem. That’s how it is but then again, Dazai failed to find a beautiful woman willing to commit suicide with him. ^_^

Photos and screenshots from Official accounts (Twitter/Blog):

And in celebration of the movie project and 200k++ Twitter followers, they gave us these precious present:

This post got longer than I thought. And forgive my inconsistent grammar; I just kept on writing with a little proofreading. ;)

Anyway, this is such a happy event. I’m forever grateful for this opportunity and I’m glad that this is my first seiyuu event ever. Looking forward to more and more events in the near future!!!!!!!!!! ^_^

When an angel dies, we take our time. We linger in our skin, still aware, still processing. I didn’t think we would– I thought we would leave our bodies, or our vessels, whatever physical form we were in and just move on to the empty, or to wherever else in the universe a celestial being’s spirit might go. I thought we would go quickly, just like all other living things– but we don’t. We linger. I lingered. 

With all my heart, I thought that once my time had truly come, I would just cease to be.

After all that I have done– all I have done wrong, I thought that God would simply be done with my soul. Done resurrecting it, done reshaping it, giving it chance after chance. I didn’t deserve that the first time, nor the second– or any of the chances after. So when Lucifer sunk that blade into my back, I truly believed that when the last bit of grace poured out of me, I’d be gone.

That is what I was expecting.

That is what I deserved.

But then I heard a voice. Through the blackness and the marbled haze of white noise and time, I heard the familiar sound of Dean … saying my name. 

It was barely anything, barely a whisper, barely a thought, but it was there and it kept me present. Even with fate tugging my soul hard into the distance, Dean kept me close to the earth. 

Some things never change. I suppose– even in death.


“Cas?” he breathed.

I tried to answer him, but the gravity pushing down on my vessel was too strong for my lips to move.

“Castiel?” he said again.

His voice was so broken, and that broke what little was left of me.

“Cas, please … don’t …”

He didn’t finish that sentence, or – I didn’t hear the end of it. All I can recall just before my awareness snapped into nothing more than a pinhole speck across a sheet of time, was the feeling of a rough, calloused palm– feather light on my cheek.

And then I was gone. Dean was gone.

My time, my devastation on earth, on that man, on his world, in his life– it all seemed to be– gone.

Part of me was grateful. I was no longer around to hurt him or anyone else. In death, I couldn’t possibly do any more damage. I can’t cause anymore pain.

But even in the stillness, the ghosting warmth of that touch is still present on my skin, and the broken sound of Dean’s words is still whispering in my ears– even though I no longer have either of those things to form me, Dean is still there. He’s still taking hold. And it’s his echoing presence that still makes me worry, even without any capacity to– I still worry that my absence is causing even more hurt than my existence did. 

Because although I never heard him finish his sentence … somewhere, in the dense, confusing empty that is now my heart, I know what Dean was going to say. I know what he said. I know what he is still saying … with the prayers he doesn’t believe in, with the hope he always claims not to have, with the love he doesn’t think he ever deserves, he begs me–

“Cas, please … don’t go.”

And just like I always have … I let him down.

anonymous asked:

Do you know of any 8th year fics that deal with quidditch? I cant seem to find any. Thank you!

HEY so I’m going to totally use this ask as an opportunity to list all of my favorite quidditch-related fics, eighth year and otherwise. Sorry but THAT’S JUST THE LIST THAT I FEEL INSPIRED TO MAKE RIGHT NOW SO I’M GOING TO DO IT BECAUSE I RUN THIS BLOG MUAHAHAHAHA (I will make sure to note all of the eighth year ones though!)

Drarry and Quidditch

Seeker, Chaser, Keeper by VivacissimoVoce (59K)- Rumor has it that a wealthy investor is starting up a brand new professional Quidditch team and he’s looking for players. Harry and Draco both want to make the team, but there can be only one Seeker. Will competing for the position bring them closer or drive them further apart?
This fic is great and one of my favorite quidditch-themed fics! If you’re looking for quidditch quidditch quidditch, this would definitely be one of my top picks. I don’t want to spoil the result of the tryouts, but trust me it’s wonderful!

Against All Odds by momatu (54K)- Beauxbatons is hosting the first ever Quidditch Summer School for children from all over Europe, and Harry has promised to enroll Teddy as his birthday present. Meanwhile, Draco is stuck in his office, putting together the first ever Quidditch Summer School for children from all over Europe during, when he should be enjoying summer holidays.
This fic is freaking AMAZING. The romance is so damn good. SO GOOD MUCH ROMANCE!! And it features Teddy!!! I seriously love everything about it and it is one of my all time favorites <3 Draco is running a quidditch school and Harry is a last minute emergency addition to the staff ;)

To the Winner Go the Spoils by MiladyMorningstar (5K)- He caught the snitch. He caught the snitch. Bloody buggering fucking shit; he actually fucking won! He has a prize to cash in.
***
Draco places a bet on the outcome of the annual Slytherin/Gryffindor quidditch game: If he wins, a certain bespectacled, green-eyed Gryffindor has to do whatever Draco says. And Draco has an awful lot to say.

This fic is short and pretty much a PWP, but it does feature a quidditch game (upon which an amazing bet is placed) and DAMN IT’S HOT. Possibly Eighth Year

The Bet by firethesound (6K)- Harry really should know better than to make any sort of bet with a Slytherin.
This is another fic with an amazing bet placed on the outcome of a quidditch game, but rather than being a PWP, it is just SO SWEET AND FLUFFY AND CUTE ^-^ Eighth Year!

A Series of Malfoy Events by lomonaaeren (59.5K)- Harry saves Draco’s life. That should be the end of it. Except it isn’t, because Draco keeps coming up with crazy things—and Harry goes along with it because he can’t wait to see what Draco’s going to come up with next.
This fic was hilarious and fluffy and ridiculous and I loved it. Draco is the only (professional) quidditch player, but his games feature pretty heavily in the plot!

(Un)calculated Risk by @l0vegl0wsinthedark (7K)- He thought about the way Harry looked at him, smiled at him; about the way Draco’s head was nearly always full of him, all day every day, and about the way Draco sometimes deliberately went to bed still smelling of him, refusing to acknowledge what it meant – because he already fucking knew what it meant. What all of it meant. And then Draco decided, fuck it, he was going to risk it. They were going to risk it together, Harry and Draco.
This is a LOVELY little fic with amazing smut and an amazing game of quidditch at the end, in which Harry plays to win both the game AND DRACO’S HEART <3. Eighth Year!

Because It’s Raining by @gracerene09 (3K)- Harry doesn’t care if it’s raining and it’s “not a real game”, he’s not letting Draco catch the Snitch.
Part of the wonderful gift-to-this-world series 50 Reasons to Have Sex, Harry and Draco finish a quidditch scrimmage alone after everyone else goes inside and then Harry has a GLOVE (and also a Malfoy) KINK <3 Eighth Year!

The Swaggering Plimpies (or This One Time, At Quidditch Camp…) by RurouniHime (29.5K)- Draco has an idea, and Harry’s just the one to help him.
This fic is adooooorable and even though Harry and Draco are coaches (for their kids) instead of players, there’s lots and lots of Quidditch and the kids are lovely and it’s all so sweet and COME ON THEY’RE CO-COACHES!!! :D

Fuck You/Thank You by lq_traintracks (2K)- Merlin, no one pisses Harry off like this arsehole. No one in the five years he’s been reffing. Not in the twenty-five years he played the game himself. No one ever.
CLASSIC hot angry quidditch locker room sex. Harry is a player and Draco is the referee and THAT’S ALL I’M GONNA SAY READ THIS.

Seeing Stars (brighter than the constellations) by @carpemermaidtales (7.5K)- After “accidentally” overhearing a rumour that Harry Potter is hung, Draco cashes in a few favours to ensure he’s the reporter doing the Puddlemere United post-game interview with the team’s prized Seeker in the team locker room.
As you can probably guess, the quidditch here is secondary to the amazing hilarious dialogue and the freaking hot smut, but the interview is ostensibly about quidditch so I say it counts!!!

One More Time (Let’s Do It Again) by huldrejenta (6K)- Draco preferred his life free from the unforeseen and the uncontrollable. Surely he could handle Potter, though, friends with benefits or not. But since when had anything involving Potter gone according to plan?
A sweet, slow-feeling (despite being pretty short) fic in which Draco and Harry are forced to work together to train a new group of professional seekers. Contains pining pining pining!

Body Logic by unbroken_halo (13K)- There’s one thing that’s keeping Harry from propositioning Draco, not the least of which is the pain in his arse.
Harry is a professional quidditch player and Draco is his team’s FREAKING MASSAGE THERAPIST!!! And Harry has sexy tattooooooooos <3

What Rises From the Ashes (A Tamlin Ficlette)

**This fic is exploring the Tamarantha headcanon from Tamlin’s perspective*

Summary: Tamlin confesses that he and Amarantha were incompatible mates- and the role that played in destroying him.

Originally posted by willow-s-linda

Thank you to the amazing and wonderful @feyre-archerons-scrapbook // @the-other-sam for beta reading this!!! She’s amazing and, as I always say, you should all be following her!!!!! xoxoxoxoxoxox

All comments loved & cherished!

Contains ACOWAR Spoilers

Keep reading

In The Land of Monsters

I was always afraid of the gym. Of the monsters that lurked within. A land of giants I had no place intruding.

Sports, fitness and I were never on very good terms, especially when I was a teenager. I was the academic, the imagineer, the dreamer, the geek, the nerd. Whichever way you cut it, there was very much a difference between myself and my “sporty” peers. I’m not going to say “jocks”, because growing up in England we never had that kind of tribalism. But I was a peaceful soul who preferred to bury himself in books and science fiction; they were the brutes who pushed me against the corridor walls, gave me physical and mental torment for my lack of caring for my appearance, for my indifference to their ways. I didn’t even support a football (soccer) team, which in England is nearly as much a capital offence as non-support of rugby is in New Zealand.

Teenage Beastpup in England

So picture me as a young man going through puberty, being inspired by the muscular physiques of bodybuilders like Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jay Culter, Flex Wheeler, Markus Ruhl… monsters, stirring something within me. A desire to be more. A desire to change. To express myself through growth.

But I was scared.

No matter how much I wanted it…I felt I could never, ever join a gym. It would be torture… I’d be like chum in a pool of sharks. Surely from the moment I stepped foot inside my tender, nerd-like nature would be sniffed out by the others, and I would be mocked, tortured anew. Or even then, could I handle seeing how skinny I was compared to the others, when my body dysmorphia took over? Or would my family and friends even understand and join in the mocking that I, the twig, was trying to change himself in the gym? And people would see how sexual it was for me. How much I wanted it… I could never be normal enough… could never get over all these mental hurdles…

 Until the day I did.

Moving to New Zealand in my early 20s brought a lot of changes and positive adjustments to my life. Away from my past, I was free in a new place to start anew. It took many, many months of convincing myself still, but at last I had enough of always wanting and never having. At long last… I was going to join a gym. It was now or never.

 And so my mission began.

Because I couldn’t just walk in there! Oh no. Couldn’t just waltz into the natives encampment… I had to disguise myself first. I had to present myself to the tribe as one of them. Prior to going to the gym, I took myself off to the local sportswear store which was in of itself terrifying as a place I’d never stepped foot in. I despised those overpriced, branded goods put together in sweatshop factories by kids overseas… but for this, I would make the leap. I bought my clothes… a gym bag. Looked up online, I think, what people normally took to the gym… water bottle, towel. It took me a week to psych myself up but finally… I did it. I entered the land of monsters.  I went to the local gym and like a meek doormouse, asked the young lady at the reception if I could join.

 Everything that happened after was so very, very different from all my fears. I was welcomed. I was taken in, I was given my induction by helpful trainers… they equipped me with the confidence to be in that environment, and weren’t intimidating at all! Nor were the other guys there… everyone was just doing their own thing. No torture, no mocking. Just a common pursuit. Fitness. Growth.

The years since have been a blur; a lot has happened in my life. But the gym has always been there… it went from feeling like an alien outpost, to something else. Home. I am at home in the gym. I live for it. I know it. It has become my playground. My stomping ground. And just this week I looked in the mirror, now that I have grown, and I can see staring back at me:

I am now the monster I was afraid of.

 I made my dream come true, and in the process lost my fears. And I’ll say to anyone; you can have this too. You can be it. But if you still have your fear, I understand. But you don’t have to be afraid of the monsters. You’ll be one of them if you want. You just have to work. You just have to leave fear behind.

Happy growing…

 - Beast June 2017

8

I present to you: My Mettaton EX cosplay, debuted at Anthrocon 2017!

The first 5 were taken on Friday of the con like 10 hours after putting on the costume / makeup, so a little was wearing off, but it held up pretty well for the most part! The last 3 were Saturday morning immediately after applying the makeup.

Friday’s makeup took 5 hours, while Saturday’s took about 2 and a half (Friday I did it on Facebook live, and also I don’t have a great work surface at home). I’ve practiced it so many times, and I’m so glad it turned out as well as it did!

The main body of the costume was ordered online with custom measurements. I didn’t have the sewing / construction skills to make something that complex and have it look good, so that was the best option for me! Wig was bought on eBay, and I styled it myself (my first time doing so!).

I was having problems with the shoulder things, but I’ll get that figured out eventually!

Had a blast at the con, though! Everyone loved my cosplay, and I made some new friends.

- Mod A