this is my contribution to valentine's day

So every February the Maryland Zoo does “sex at the zoo” where they talk about the mating rituals of various animals.

And I’m picturing Newt hosting his own ‘valentine’s day’ mating discussions. He sends out invites, and is delighted by the responses.

But then everyone shows up, expecting a romantic evening alone with Newt only to discover a bunch of other people an a lot of… interesting diagrams.

Graves is the first to demand an explanation, but no one has the heart to tell Newt they really aren’t interested in the mating habits of Bowtruckles, Dragons, or any of the other creatures he talks about. They’re only interested in the mating habits of one creature; the one talking. So they sit and listen politely.

And that is how Newt tricked half of MACUSA into learning about magical creatures.