this is my actual search history i just looked

Like everyone makes jokes about Sombra hacking and checking search histories, but like she probably does.

She knows Tracer has an online shopping habit.

She knows Solider 76 has a habit of checking out dog memes on Facebook.

Reaper looks up cat vids.

Widowmaker? She googles her symptoms (Sombra is concerned).

She knows McCree just looks up the “what in ______” memes

She is actually concerned with what Mercy looks up. With Mercy typing the exact words “why does my team keeping dying and then blame me when I can’t fucking heal them” and “why does my team suck”, she feels threatened to go on a Mercy team.

And so much more. Fear her for she is god.

I apologize for three things here. 1) This is kinda rushed because I’m stupid and didn’t know we had to write an essay that is due tomorrow so I did a whole week’s worth of research and writing in one day, and then I wrote this and I’m already worn out. 2) I don’t usually use time skips in writing because it causes me to cringe, I don’t know about you guys, but I think this piece called for it. 3) My search history after this because it’s just endless websites for pickup lines.

“Were you arrested earlier? Because it must be illegal to look that good.”

Hidan’s cringeworthy pickup line caught you off guard as you started slipping oven mittens off your hands. The joking attempt of coquetry caused you to erupt a noise from your throat that was stuck between a scoff and a giggle, and all the while, the corners of your lips were pulled upwards.

“Actually, it should be you who should be arrested.” You said jokingly, “You know, because if you’re not killing an innocent bystander as a sacrifice for your rituals, you’re probably burning down an orphanage.”

“Seems like you’re still your usual, sunny self.” Hidan remarked, “Speaking of suns, are you related to them? Because your very presence brightens up my day.”

Hidan ended his pickup line with one of his signature winks. Those ruby red eyes have winked at you more times than you count, and you’ve learned to return his flirts; only platonically of course.

“Haha, very funny Hidan.” You said, plunging a knife two times into the freshly baked pie, making a triangular prism shaped piece, which you lifted up with the knife and placed it in the centre of a plate.

“Looks delish.” Hidan said, his eyes on the oozing, blue juices slowly dripping onto the plate from the blueberry pie.

“You should have some,” you said, handing the plate out to Hidan, “I think you must be very hungry, after all, I think the hunger is affecting your pickup lines.”

“Oh?” Hidan said back, taking the plate from your hand, “And do you have anything better up your sleeves?”

“How ‘bout… Are your parents bakers? Because you’re a cutie pie.” You said, trying to swallow down the bile the came up because of how cringeworthy that pickup line was.

“Are your parent bakers? Really?” The redhead spat as he glared at you.

“You overheard that?”, You said with a sigh as you wiped the last dish clean and placed it carefully in the rack.

“What the hell was that, anyways?” He demanded, fire burning brighter in his tone.

“Okay, for your information, he started it. I was just playing around. It’s nothing much, Sasori.” You stated while grabbing a glass from the sink to rinse off the suds and dry it off with a towel, “Unless you make it something… You know, if you were jealous.”

You meant to say it as a joke, but the very audible sound of Sasori’s jaw clenching convinced you that he didn’t find it very funny. You spun around on your heel to face the puppeteer and say something comforting, but his hands immediately grasped around your wrists as you turned around. His grip tightened as he gained more control, and the glass you were holding fell to the floor and shattered into pieces.

“Maybe I am,” he growled while pushing you against the kitchen counter, “but don’t be so cocky about it. It’s not going to end well for you.”

“Hey! Man that blueberry pie was amazing, I was wondering if you could hand me the reci-”

“T-the recipe? The recipe, right? H-here let me get my cookbook.” You mumbled as you stumbled to find the recipe, but made sure your back was turned towards Hidan at all times.

“You okay? You seem kinda uncomfortable- here, lemme help you.” Hidan said as he walked towards you and attempted to find the cookbook with you, resulting in him slightly nudging you to the side.

“Ow!” You exclaimed, and immediately blushed.

“Wha- hey isn’t it a bit warm in here to wear a scarf?” Hidan remarked as his garnet eyes met yours.

“W-what do you mean? Jesus, haven’t you heard of a goddamn fashion statement…” You grumbled.

“Did Sasori get a lil jealous… Hmm…?” Hidan teased and the corners of his lips pulled upwards.

“Shut up!”

2 really upsetting google things

1. When I type ‘b’ into the search the very first thing it suggests is bushes of love, I don’t have search history on so it’s not like it’s just pulling up my last google search or anything

2. Bushes of Love is actually what I was looking for so google is just fucking psychic okay

After much searching. I actually found a picture of an 18th century person still wearing their wig. Gentleman and Ladies, I present Martin Routh, born in 1755 and died in 1854. He was president of Magdalen College, Oxford from 1791 until his death. This daguerreotype was made in his final years, and it shows him still wearing a Dress Bob wig that looks to be of white horse hair. I thought this was just too cool to keep to myself so I wanted to share it with all my friends and followers.