this is most definitely an emergency

John has an emergency at the hospital so Sherlock's picking up Rosie from kindergarten
  • Sherlock: I am here to pick up Rosie Watson.
  • Teacher: And if I may ask who are you?
  • Sherlock: I am Rosie's father.
  • Teacher: But I have seen Rosie's father every day for the last two month and you sir are most definitely not him.
  • Sherlock does an eye roll
  • Sherlock: The OTHER one.
  • Teacher: Oh.
  • *chatter and gossiping among teachers and parents ensure*
Imagine Sheriff Stilinski going to your parent-teacher conference, when your parents can’t make it.

Originally posted by allieargents

Originally posted by beyondmysky

Imagine Sheriff Stilinski going to your parent-teacher conference, when your parents can’t make it.

A/N: Totally the wrong GIFS for it

“Are you sure they’re not siblings? Like step-siblings?” Finstock asked, looking over the file on his desk. “I mean if they are-no judgement here, many of my kids come from gay families-”
  “(Y/n)’s father got called on an emergency surgery, and asked for me to take his place. That’s all.” Sheriff Stilinski interrupted already weary from the previous conversation about his actual child and his deceased wife. (Y/f/n) definitely owed him a beer for putting up with this guy longer than necessary.
   "And her mother?“ Finstock questioned. His expression made it seem like the most obvious answer. "She on call at the hospital too?”
  “She’s in Kuwait, serving our military.” He answered, annoyed.
  “That’s great- wonderful really. I’ve always supported our troops-”
  Sheriff Stilinski closed his eyes. “How is (y/n) doing in class?”
  “Oh thank God.” Finstock sighed. “(Y/n) fairly good student, does her homework, pays attention in class for the most part, her real problem comes in her desire to only do the minimum work necessary. If she like your son took advantage of her talent, she’d be a much better student.”
  “Well that’s not too bad. For a second I was afraid (y/n) wrote her midterm on male circumcision as well.” Sheriff Stilinski joked.
 "Oh no, hers was on the history of cholera and how it became an epidemic. The main argument being- and I quote- western imperialists are dicks.“ Finstock reiterated.
“Now do you understand why I thought they might be siblings?”


Please forgive my long absence, an emergency forced me to fly home in a hurry. Here’s a little bit of smirky Thrandy by way of apology!

anonymous asked:

Kackaaaaaaaa I love you, you're THE BEST! Happy birthday! Promt for Bellarke: we have friends with benefits relationship (even though I secretly love you) but now I'm pregnant and I don't know how to tell you bc I'm afraid that you'll freak out.

Ahhh thanks! <333 Hope you like it! (ao3)


Clarke only feels moderately weird about letting herself into Wells and Bellamy’s apartment when she knows they’re not home.

On the one hand, the spare key they gave her is supposed to be for emergencies. On the other hand, she’d definitely consider being covered in someone else’s vomit an emergency.

When she applied to teach elementary school art, she’d known she’d probably come home messy most days. But with paint, and clay, and glue stuck to her skin. Not from a kid accidentally losing his lunch on her when he came to say he didn’t feel well.

It ended up being more show than tell.

Her principal had given her the go-ahead to cancel the rest of her classes for the day, but going home meant becoming the vomit lady on the bus, and it’s just so much easier for her to go two blocks over to use her friends’ shower.

Wells is the most generous person she knows; she can’t imagine he’d say no if she asked. And Bellamy… well, they’re not exactly close. He’s mostly just Wells’s roommate, Octavia’s brother, the friend in her group she’s least connected to. But he’s a teacher too, and the ultimate Mom friend. Even if he made fun of her endlessly, even if he bickered her into buying him a beer in exchange for the slight addition to his water bill, even if she had to face his smug smile, he wouldn’t actually bar her from using his shower in a time of crisis such as this.

None of those things are out of character for Bellamy. He loves giving her a hard time, and she’s had enough of that today. Which is why she doesn’t text them for permission first.

Instead, she smothers the slightly guilty feeling in the pit of her stomach, dumps her clothes in the wash, and lets out a long, shuddering breath when she steps under the spray.

It feels a little weirder when she reaches for the shampoo on the shelf. It’s just– she hasn’t had a significant other, or even a one night stand, in quite a while. The last time she used someone else’s products, allowing someone else’s scent to cling to her skin and hair, was ages ago.

“Too long ago, apparently,” she grumbles to herself, working her hair into a lather. “Maybe it’s time to get you laid, Griffin.”

Keep reading

I want a baby

A/n: I’ve been in such a baby mood recently god.

Warnings: Swearing, vomit, the usual.

After having an hour long soak in the bath, which you immediately plonked a bath bomb into, when you arrived at home from a long stressful day at work. You finally emerge, a little pruny but fresh and rejuvenated. Throwing on a pair of sweats and a black, soft cotton t-shirt, which was most definitely Dan’s, you joined your husband in the living room. He was surprisingly not hunched over his laptop which was more than just the usual sight in the Howell household.

You slump down on the couch and he instantly wraps his arms around your shoulders, nuzzling his nose in the crook of your neck.

“Someone’s a little cuddle bug today,” You chuckle as he lets out a hum.

“Just. Love you,” He mumbles, planting a kiss on your cheek.

You sigh lovingly at his affectionate gestures. Nothing in this world could replace your love for him.

Sinking into the couch, you hesitate a little on whether to bring something that had been plaguing you to his attention. It just seemed like the perfect opportunity.



“Has something been eating you up recently? Besides me?” You couldn’t help but add that little snarky comment there.

He emits a little giggle before looking up at you, sweat on his forehead causing his fringe to begin to curl. “Why?”

“It’s just that you’ve seemed distracted recently and I thought it was just work but even after all the tour nonsense… you seem distant, somehow.”

“I’m sorry babe, I just… I think we need to talk.” He admits.

Uh oh

“Those words never mean anything good.”

“I promise it isn’t anything extreme.” He reassures, pulling your legs across his lap, so that you were facing him. “I mean, it kinda is, but not in the devastating way.”

He starts drawing circular patterns around your knee cap, avoiding eye contact with you.

“I erm- I want a baby.” He blurts out suddenly.

“You… what?”

“I want to start a family with you y/n.”

You stiffen and he notices, a look of disappointment flashes on his face. He retracts his hand from where it was resting on your knee.

“Nevermind, forget that I ever brought this up.” He looked so defeated that it upset you.

“No, Dan.” You make a desperate grasp for his hand and held it between both of yours, massaging his knuckles with your thumb. “I’m just unsure of my own capabilities of caring for a human being.”

“My parents fucked up in that aspect and I don’t want our child going through what I went through. It honestly tore me apart.”

You start to tear up, reminiscing on your childhood, if you could even call it that.

“Hey, hey…” He murmurs lovingly, wiping the tear that had escaped from your eye. His hands slides to cup your cheek, caressing it soothingly. “No tears okay? We aren’t going to fuck up anything. Okay, maybe besides the fact that they may walk in on us fucking but-”

You interrupted him with a fit of laughter that over came you. He always managed to lighten the mood, even in the darkest of times.

“Besides that, I can guarantee we will raise our children to be the bestest human beings there are.” He proclaims with a child-like smile gracing his features, dimples shining through.

“Children, eh?”

“I want 2 or 3,”

“We’ll see Dan, we’ll see.”

You woke up one morning feeling slightly queasy, which didn’t bother you that much since you were prone to vomiting episodes and it might have been the onsets of one.

You get up from the bed, quicker than your body could have adjusted to and were hit by a sudden gush of lightheadedness and nausea.

Feeling the bile rising in your throat, the acidic, sour tang of the substance, reaching your taste buds, you threw up chunks of last night’s dinner on the floor of your shared bedroom (thank god you got rid of the carpet.)

Before you could straighten up, you felt your legs give way, collapsing on the floor. As darkness unhinged it’s jaw and swallowed you whole.


You wake up with a cold damp flannel pressed against your forehead, another being constantly dabbed against the rest of your face.

As your peripheral vision focused, your eyes met Dan’s, who’s eyebrows were furrowed.

“Don’t ever do that to me again.” He uttered, sternly. “Do you even know how scary it is to wake up to a loud crash and see your wife on the floor next to a puddle of vomit?”

“Soz, mate.” You mutter, groggily.

He brushes his lips against yours, murmuring under his breath.

“Would you like to tell me what’s wrong or?”

“It’s just another one of my episodes, I-”

“They were never this bad before and you know it y/n.”

“I honestly don’t know.”

You suddenly felt sick to your stomach again and started gagging on the liquid that rose in your throat. Your stomach felt empty yet it was still trying to eject its contents out of you. Dan knowing the signs, shoved a plastic bag in your hands and you spurted out the acids into it.

Dan rubbed your back in a calming manner.

“Do you need to throw up anymore or are you okay?”

As he said that, you were sick again.


“Well I called the NHS services and they told me that we should take a pregnancy test.” He couldn’t hide the grin that had formed on his face.

You’d been poorly for majority of the day and Dan finally convinced you to at least let him call for some help. You sat ramrod straight, instantaneously more awake than a few seconds ago.

“Dan, what day is it?”

“The 9th of October?”

“I’m late.”

“You mean?”

“Danny, I think I might actually be pregnant.”

lol i saw “autism” in the news and stupidly clicked on it and there are so many ableist articles about how they’ve “figured out how to detect autism before the baby is even born and can cure it before the social aspects of it emerge” like?? fuck you. it isn’t some awful thing to be cured and most people with autism, me included, are proud to be, and appreciate how we are different. just because our way of functioning doesn’t match up to your capitalist way of thinking it doesn’t mean we don’t love the way we exist and we definitely deserve to exist how we do 

lmao can someone pls remind the mcu fandom that tony stark is literally just. an engineer and the Avengers’ self-appointed PR guy? He’s their tech support? He keeps people off their backs because they don’t actually have any kind of….organization whatsoever there’s no chain of command short of “follow steve” there’s no contact info aside from “call someone’s cell phone and hope for the best” they’re a mess their emergency government liaison is a guy who spends most of his time building robot suits into every mode of transportation he can think of so that he doesn’t spontaneously combust out of sheer anxiety 

Like, he’s not even the CEO of anything anymore, he’s not an active duty Avenger, he’s not a government official, he’s definitely not influencing the collective wills and opinions of the governments and populations of 117 countries, he’s not influencing the United Nations, he’s not higher in the chain of command than the Secretary of State, he didn’t come up with the Accords, he’s not forcing the Avengers to do anything, he’s literally just trying to cooperate with the United Nations and trying to get the rest of the team to also cooperate with the United Nations in order to stop Bad Shit™ from being done to his team 

So since I’ve started medical school, I’ve been torn between doing IM-Cardiology and emergency medicine. I definitely like being in the hospital and doing procedures often but not all the time. The older I get, the more I’m inclined to do a shorter residency because I’m ready to set down some roots somewhere and finally make money. IM-Cardio is 6 years vs EM of 3 years. I like picking the most important issues in patients and dealing with that immediately. But I also want to see what happens to them after they get admitted from the ER and write consult notes. I personally like the lifestyle of EM too, because it’s shift work and there’s such a demand for EM physicians that I could probably only work day shifts. I could just go home at the end of the day and not worry about patients since I’ve transferred care. 

Or I could just be an IM hospitalist. I recently went to a Q&A geared towards medical students by a hospitalist. He wasn’t bragging but wanted to be honest about the field. He pulls in 400k per year with no weekends or night call. He works 20 days a month and could choose to do less if he wanted to. He is also partner in this hospitalist group but he doesn’t have to deal with the day to day of running the private practice. 

I don’t even know what I would do with that money. There’s such a high demand for hospitalists in my area that he mentioned a local hospital was offering 290k starting right out of residency. 

This talk made me less nervous about step 1 because I could be a little below average and match IM in the middle of nowhere but I would still get a really great job after it and pay off my debt quickly. I’ll be alright and that’s good enough for me.

So it finally happened, my mom saw me browsing my dashboard on tumblr and the question of all questions emerged her lips - ‘So…why is there so much Hillary going on with you?’
Should I have said with glistening eyes - 'Because she’s one of the most beautiful, adorable and gorgeous women I have ever seen.’ - ?
Should I have said with the most stupid smile - 'Because I ship the Billary so damn hard.’ - ?
Did I blush like a tomato and stammer out something about the usual 'Because she’s so inspiring, I liked her so much in the 90s, the Clintons are just very interesting people.’ - ?
I guess this could’ve gone a lot worse but I kinda feel like she thinks that this sounds a bit weird now anyways so I could’ve just gone the full way and bursted out that I’m sooooo fangirling about her. She probably figured as much when I presented her with my Hillary calendar a while ago.
Mothers know.

So guys, I’m really glad to have this community of Billary people around here who basically all know each other and where all this admiration can go unfrowned and be reciprocated.
I love you and appreciate you massively.
Thank you.

anonymous asked:

Is it ok that I support safe and knowledgeable gun use but I just personally don't feel comfortable handling one? They make me very anxious

Yeah, you’re definitely not personally obligated to handle guns. I think it is best for most people to try just in case you’re in an emergency and need to know how, for the same reason I think everyone should try to learn to swim (and am going to keep trying to learn to swim) and drive. But no, I don’t think you’re obligated to try it or feel comfortable doing it for sure. It’s just not for everyone.

death-star510 replied to your post “still waiting for quodo “most dangerous game” fic to emerge out of the…”

The question is should it be horrifically angsty serious or hilarious because really this could go both ways. (I’m always a sucker for ODO FLIPPING OUT ABOUT QUARK GETTING INJURED storylines oops)

like jazzy said i think it has to be both, purely for the fact that “trapping someone on an island with the intent of hunting them down” is a ludicrous premise to begin with, and like, quark is definitely there BY ACCIDENT (or if whatever aggrieved party this is wants to hunt quark down, odo is there to provide him a fighting chance?).

one of them falls in a hole at some point, probably.

I’ll freely admit that I find the furry fandom kind of weird, but I’ve never been comfortable with furry jokes - even the ostensibly good-natured ones - and I’ve only recently figured out why.

Furries are far from the only fandom that’s been held up as okay to hate on, of course, but it you break it down, a definite pattern emerges: namely, that the fandoms it’s socially acceptable to hate on are almost invariably those that are perceived as having unusually high visibly female and/or LGBT presence.

Indeed, the furry fandom is a great case in point here; I’m old enough to remember when furries were basically public enemy number one on the Internet, before they were partially supplanted by other, trendier targets, and practically all of most virulent anti-furry hate-blogging I recall from back in the day was deeply wrapped up in the perception that most furries were gay men.

Now, I’m not saying that everybody who makes anti-furry comments - even in jest - is a secret homophobe; people can get caught up in trends for a variety of reasons, and very often they’re not aware of the background.

But it’s enough to make a guy wonder, you know? The mechanisms by which we as a culture determine which fandoms are acceptable to demonise and ridicule in the first place are not innocent.

Things I’ve Learned From my Emergency Medicine Externship

-> One person’s definition of an emergency can be wayyy different than yours. 

-> ICU nurses/techs are the best. Bless them. 

-> Don’t ever judge someone’s ability to pay based on their appearances. You will be proved wrong most of the time. 

-> Having an evil cat try to bite the snot out of your can be a surprisingly happy ordeal, because it means they are finally feeling better.

-> It is a known curse to say the words “slow” or “quiet.” Do you want 20 emergencies showing up at once? Because this is how you get 20 emergencies showing up at once. 

-> It is an art form to be able to save 5 different animals trying to die on you at once.  

-> The most life-changing thing I learned: I think I am falling deeply in love with Emergency Medicine. <3 


Wu Yi Fan for Marie Claire China October 2015

Long legs with a bare yet radiant face, these are the requirements for a super idol. However besides natural talent, hard work and luck is also necessary. With his attention to detail, after arriving at the shoot he immediately took out his accessories, even though there were assistants and manager following him he did not exude the aura of a pompous star. In front of the camera he poses with ease, just after merely washing his face and hair he immediately shoots for a bare-faced cover, showing us a completely different attitude: This is a characteristic and self confidence of the new generation, more approachable yet more outstanding. Nothing that huge to fuss over, it’s just something most ordinary.

Wu Yi Fan has calmness and self confidence, and knows what kind of celebrity he would become: without a doubt, a huge star, but definitely different from celebrities of the past. With emerging social media platforms and networking connections, in a short period of time Wu Yi Fan has become a rapidly rising star. Right now even as he is surrounded by screaming, excited fans when he goes out in public, he still feels that he is merely an ordinary person. “Every day I do down-to-earth things, it’s just that I interact with few people, there are many things with others do not see.”

Most recently, because he loves playing basketball, whichever city Wu Yi Fan goes to, he will go to outdoor courts to play basketball with passers-by. “When I’m playing with people I do not know, I would feel like how I did when I was just starting out when I was young. Perhaps they could recognise me and know who I was, but I felt that it didn’t matter, because in my personal time I’m like that.” The reactions from passers-by are rather calm, a celebrity has come and joined us to play basketball, there’s nothing to create a huge fuss over. At times there would be people who would ask for a photograph, but more often, when passers-by communicate with Wu Yi Fan, it is usually just them exchanging tips. Once, even after losing, they joked with him, saying that the match could be won with good looks. “Then in the future I will have to use my handsome face to play basketball!” Wu Yi Fan could not help but laugh as he recalled those memories. “That feeling was really amazing, extremely comfortable, I also hoped that I could continue to have this kind of attitude, it’s the most ordinary yet happiest feeling.”

Don’t know how he does it, but Wu Yi Fan is able to naturally break through the barrier between celebrities and ordinary people. Upon seeing him it is immediately clear that he has the face of a celebrity, outstanding features, bright eyes and an air of elegance, along with his long legs and perfectly proportioned physique, which make him stand out in a crowd. But after a short while of interacting with him, you would discover that Wu Yi Fan’s celebrity persona is only on the outward appearance, all of his thoughts and actions are those of a normal (non-celebrity) person’s; his star qualities are something to be looked forward to, he gives complete attention to you.This is very refreshing, different from all the past celebrities. “My family never expected me to become a huge star, my mother even said that if I could not become a celebrity it would also be good if I went back to studying, any occupation was fine. This enabled me to change a lot, made me go with the flow, as for all things, if something happens it happens, if it doesn’t, it’s not a huge deal.”

At the scene of the shoot, lights turn on and Wu Yi Fan stands with his face bare and hair freshly blown dry under the glare of the lights as the photographer shoots some test shots. It’s strange, his bare face is not really different from when he has make up on. Of course, he still pays attention to the details, closely examining the tattoos we stuck onto his hands. He would match the accessories on his own, analyse the angles of his poses and facial expressions captured by the camera. Even bringing a suitcase or clothes and shoes in case they may be needed, he is professional to the point that you would forget that he is this young. He explains seriously, “I’m not a narcissistic person, I’m someone who is self-confident and loves myself. I have high expectations for the things that I do, so for every detail, how I appear, how I dress up, I would put a lot of effort in all that I do.” Wu Yi Fan has always liked Kobe Bryant and Leonardo DiCaprio; the latter who was famous for his good looks when he was younger, recently gained a lot of weight for a movie role. Talking about this topic, Wu Yi Fan expressed that, “I’m really sorry to tell my fans that I can’t guarantee how I’d look like in the future, I’m such an easy-going, carefree person, what I can only guarantee are the quality of my works.” Despite having countless fans, Wu Yi Fan is not pressured tremendously, but instead would use his own ways to influence fans. This is the Wu Yi Fan who is a new type of idol. “What I can do is to influence others positively, those who like me will also like who I truly am, therefore, to keep myself genuine, that’s what I long to do the most.”


Bare faced vs with make up, do you feel any different?
I’m more laid back when I am bare faced, because I don’t have that much to worry about.

Would you prefer girls who are bare faced or put on makeup?
I prefer girls that are more natural. The first thing I look in a person is usually their eyes, but I totally don’t like those that have heavy makeup, I prefer a very light feel.

People feel that bare faced vs make up are completely different, what do you think?
I feel that both aren’t much different. To put on makeup or not is an attitude of self confidence which I accept.

Is it alright for you to be recognized on the streets when you are bare faced?
Yeah, it’s no problem at all, because I always go out like this, all this while, in my personal time I’ve never gone out in disguise or put on makeup. If I don’t have to wear makeup when I am not working I won’t.

What are your feelings for putting on (fake) tattoos for the cover of Marie Claire?
I really love tattoos, tattoos can be very beautiful and artistic. As an actor there are times that having too many tattoos are inconvenient, but if I was not working in this industry I would definitely be the kind of person to have their whole body tattooed because I really like tattoos.

Do you think that going bare faced, including your personality and appearance, how does it differ from completely revealing everything?
Personality wise, because I’m a public figure, it’s my responsibility and I am fully sure that I will not display anything negative to those who like and support me.

What is something you wish to do out of your own will recently?
I’ve already done it, that is, to shoot a bare faced magazine cover! This is something which I have taken really seriously, there’s completely no makeup, not even hairstyling, after washing my hair it was immediately blown dry and [the pictures for the magazine] were shot!

translation: @wu_yi_fan

Medical Solarpunk

So what would medicine look like in a solarpunk society? Obviously it would be a nonprofit system paid for by government rather than individuals who need care. Ideally drugs and home care and psychological/psychiatric help would also be covered to help quell problems before they get serious enough to land someone in an emergency room (primary prevention is a big current topic in healthcare).

So it’s a socialist system definitely. Healthcare as a concept is already socialist, as it comes from the idea that people who need help deserve it regardless of ability to pay (even hospitals in the US will treat first and sort out money later, for better or worse)

But let’s talk about some of the current stigmas and policies in science and medicine and how they fit into the solarpunk philosophy.

Keep reading

But med student and later doctor!Nico:

  • Nico, who wants to help people make the most of their lives and live as long as possible
  • Will helping him study and just reciting the Hippocratic Oath under his breath whenever Nico persistently gets things wrong
  • Late night + studying -> messy hair Nico who’s grumpy as hell in the morning
  • Coffee addict!Nico
  • Stumbling into lectures severely injured after a fight with a monster
  • He’d definitely work in the emergency department
  • Or maybe as a neurologist
  • He’s the best at prioritising patients, even if it annoys some others
  • He’s also surprisingly good at making accurate diagnosis’ very quickly
  • Able to empathise with patients and their families
  • But if you’re doing something stupid that’s putting you at risk of something, he’s not going to put up with it and will tell you off for it
  • But he’s not really the best co-worker
  • Though all the older nurses like to baby him and tease him
  • And, praise the gods, he actually has legible handwriting, like, all the nurses are practically sold at that moment, he’s just precious to them
  • He’s also surprisingly awkward and grumpy for someone who’s great with patients
  • Nico, who can tell when someone is dying and is always there to help them in anyway, whether to try and cure them or make it easier
  • He really doesn’t like working with kids though; he gets really removed, and seems really uncomfortable
  • Though he always does the job. Always.
  • He has a certain skill of picking out victims of abuse and having a little chat with the abusers.
  • Also, he might not like kids, but he always has chocolate on him for them
  • And if patients he has die, he makes sure that they have proper rituals so have they have safe passage into the Underworld and aren’t stuck with Charon for eternity
  • Just Nico as a doctor, okay, sh.
Bis have offered a variety of theories to explain biphobia. For Brenda Blasingame, “Biphobia emerges from the belief in the dichotomy of gay and straight, with no in-between. Therefore bisexuals are not seen as part of the gay community but apart from the community.” Gabriel Rotello’s alarmed comment that bis challenge “the most cherished assumption of the lesbian and gay movement: that it’s by and for homosexuals” is an illustration. Amanda Udis-Kessler sees biphobia as part of a deeper identity crisis:
”Lesbians and gay men have been able to define themselves as other than heterosexual; bisexuals challenge that definition regardless of our intention to do so. Behind the painful lesbian and gay biphobia which we have experienced is a poignant cry for self; ‘you don’t exist’ means ‘I do exist.’ And, too, the rejection as a group (‘go form your own communities; you’re not welcome in ours’) is a way for lesbians and gay men to claim a group identity, to say ’we exist, not just as individuals but as a community’.”
Eridani, on the other hand, links her contention that biphobia is more widespread in the lesbian milieu to what she believes are fundamental differences between men and women. Basing her analysis on Kinsey studies and other observations she inverts the usual identity-as-an-affirmation stance, positing that “women, compared to men, tend not to have sexual orientations.” Therefore, she continues, “most women have some degree of choice about their sexual orientation and most men don’t.” This thesis, for Eridani, helps to explain the ‘political lesbian’ phenomenon of the seventies, as exemplified by the statement “feminism is the theory; lesbianism is the practice,” a quote cited and reacted to many times in these books. “Many of the women who preferred the solidarity and support of the new women’s communities,” Eridani continues, “did not have sexual orientations. A few even had heterosexual orientations, which they suppressed. A clear difference in the prevalence of sexual orientations is apparent here. Who ever heard of a heterosexual male who decided to become gay on the grounds that he didn’t like being around women most of the time? Men like this become batterers and rapists instead.” According to Eridani, “It is mainly lesbians without sexual orientations who are hostile to bisexuals as well. The old standard ‘any woman can be a lesbian’ is true for the large number of women who don’t have sexual orientations. Therefore becoming a feminist implies to some women that, on ethical grounds, women should choose to have a relationship only with women […] I don’t see how this attitude differs from that of Phyllis Schlafly, who thinks that I should choose a heterosexual relationship in order to be a good Christian reactionary.” According to Eridani, “The phenomenon of ‘hasbians’ in the eighties, i.e. women who first became aware of their sexuality in the lesbian-feminist matrix and later took up with men, indicates again that there are a lot of lesbian feminists who really don’t have sexual orientations.” Eridani’s provocative formulations are not without their internal coherence, but ultimately leave me wary. When a couple of people who had read the article mentioned it among some local bis, those present did not seem to have definitive verdicts. Perhaps readers would like to comment?- Source:

The problem of transcendence
fits inside a hand-held mirror.

A shaking page of newspaper
snags on a lamppost, flapping

in the wind. Something emerges
from the story & declares

an end to the yowls of hunger.
The definition of infinity is a mess:

three pounds of glitter mixed
with the grass seeds, grape soda

where the stream should angle
into the lake. You will be asked

which of the five senses is
most precious to you. You should

prepare an answer in advance.


A woman holds a hand-held mirror
& sees a total eclipse of the sun
behind her. She turns but there is no sun.
There is only a no-sun where
the sun should be & just below it
an elm sapling dangling in the sky
from a series of pulleys. She lies down
on the sun-warmed rock behind her
motorcycle. She whispers to herself
this is the totality & the totality
whispers back no,
                             it is this.
Unable to sleep she returns
to her apartment, locks the door
& becomes a tiny flame.


The light switch in the refrigerator
flips on & off, unbeknownst
to the boy at the kitchen table
slicing a red candle with a razor blade.

When he wrote the words light switch
in his diary he wrote lights witch
but he does not know the sensation
of an animal brain. After slicing

the candle into a thousand thin slices
the size & shape of doll’s eyes he lays
them on a metal sheet & puts them into
the oven. After an hour he opens

the oven door & finds a thousand
tiny candles on the metal sheet.
A thousand tiny flames. Glittering,
shuddering, they march to the

woodpile & whisper to each other
in the language of making love.


When I wrote she became a tiny flame
I mean that she stopped eating
& waited in her apartment to die.

Her name was Rue.
I know this is only a poem

but she was a real woman
that I knew in a real city,
named Richmond, Virginia.


On a sun-warmed rock the word totality can be defined as

   a) a thousand tiny candles
   b) a fully parsed sentence
   c) a woman who has locked herself in her own apartment
       & is starving herself to death & the sound
       of knuckles knocking on her apartment door.

The word infinity has no definition. In the dictionary next to the word  there is a photograph of a handheld mirror in which the camera is visible. The concept of totality in itself is neither good nor bad, but a bucket of water that has no water in it, a rubber eraser the size & shape of an eight-year boy.


When you’re born there were an infinite number of dictionaries
& then they became a wooden table covered with unbound papers
& then they became chipped shreds of wood
& then they became trees
& then they became gold stars.

I award everyone in this poem a gold star.
I’m going to label them infinity. We climb trees in the park
& pluck leaves from the branches.

These leaves make us forget,
or if not forget then
remember another new thing,
then another & so on & on.

And just as every book
wants to kiss every tree,

the people define themselves
with the plucked leaves.

—  Mathias Svalina, “The Bad Infinite / The Divine Infinite”