this is me wishing you happy holidays

i have a fake son.
his name is Tim and he is working on his M.S. in astrophysics at Berkeley.
he is devestatingly handsome and enjoys rock climbing and volunteers as a counselor at the local YMCA there in Berkeley, California.
i am so proud of my fake son. i have raised him up in my own head to be such an outstanding member of society.
“Tim” is only brought up when asked about by one particular woman at work that i only see on occasion. i don’t make a habit or game of lying to people, but with her, it kinda came about as follows:
Faye is one of those people who has been there/done that and will hang herself on the cross while she tells you how much worse the experience was for her. i’ve seen this woman Kanye West an 8-month pregnant girl at said girl’s own baby shower to glorify the gift she gave her as well as go into how horrible her labor was with her own children. Faye also is a braggart. her car/purse/house/ring/shoes/etc. all cost more than whatever yours did and her children are all angels.
i was forced to work with Faye for 2 days about 5 years ago. she called me Emily a few times before i finally told her my name is Amy, not Emily. she gave me a sideways glance and said, “I like Emily better”, and since then, she has always called me Emily. i let this go because to get angry with her and tell her off is to see her become dramatic and begin crying and insist she did not mean anything by it while not issuing anything close to an apology. Faye is always right, too, you know.
anyway, when she shut up long enough about herself and her fabulous offspring on the second day, she asked, “Do you have any children, Emily?”
i replied that i do not. she then launched into her daughter taking fertility drugs so that she could give her mother grandchildren someday.
that was the only question she asked me until i saw her about a year later.
“Oh, HI, Emily! How are you?!”
“Hi, Faye…how are you?”
“Wonderful, wonderful. Stephen just graduated from UT. He’s going to be the best doctor ever! How is your son, uh, Tim?”
it took me a second. Tim? son? what the hell is she talking about?!
it dawned on me what a complete narcissist she truly is. she hadn’t heard me the day she asked if i had children, because she didn’t care. she didn’t care enough to call me by my real name, so it wasn’t much of a surprise.
i couldn’t stop myself. i briefly thought about correcting her, but i decided to just go with it.
“Tim is doing so well. He was just accepted to Berkeley after his amazing thesis on planetary nebuli. We are so proud of him.”
her eyes grew big. “Oh, how nice! But, Berkeley? That’s so far from home. UT is an excellent school; surely he could’ve been accepted there?…”
i gave a small chuckle. “Oh, well, they wanted him for sure, Faye. I mean, all the letters he received, practically BEGGING him to study there. But, well, they just don’t have a sufficient astronomy department. UT is a fine school, but not for the subject that Tim is going into. Astrophysics is not something you can study just anywhere, you know.”
her eyes narrowed. “Medicine is what these young people should be going into. Astrophysics? What is that, anyway? How will it contribute to the world?”
“Gosh, I don’t really know how to explain astrophysics, Faye. It’s so mind blowing for simple minds like mine and yours. But searching for things in space that could potentially help our planet is a pretty big deal, I think.”
Faye promptly excused herself. i knew i had gotten her.
i’ve bumped into her on and off throughout the past 5 years and she always told me how her angels were saving the world, especially Stephen, and then she’d ask about Tim. and i made sure my Tim was one step above her Stephen. her face would turn crimson and she would have to abruptly leave.
i saw her as i was leaving work yesterday and she stopped me to wish me a happy Easter.
“Stephen is coming home this holiday. He’s bringing his fiance. She’s a doctor too, you know. How is Tim? Don’t tell me he’s still not graduated?…”
“Oh, Faye, don’t be silly! Astrophysics takes YEARS to graduate from. It’s not as simple as medicine. But, yes, he is close to graduating.”
“Is he coming home for Easter? I can’t imagine spending holidays without my children; how dreadful! Oh, but he’s all the way in California…it costs so much to fly here, I assume.”
I grinned. “Yes, it does. But he’s such a sweetheart, he’s flying me out there this year! Taking a break from his studies and humanitarian efforts to have his dear ol’ Mom around for Easter. I’m so lucky!”
“…yes, well, have a nice time, Emily. Happy Easter!”
“You too, Kay! Oh, I mean Faye!”
you know, like i said before, i don’t like to lie. it does seem very silly to have let this go on for so long. Tim has been a fabrication in the making for over 5 years now, he almost feels real to me.
when i see Faye, i have images of my fake son, looking so handsome in his lab coat as he’s peering into a microscope looking at dust particles from a comet. i see him jogging with his dog on the beach. i see him hiking and biking and climbing. i see him helping an elderly woman with her groceries.
it’s a true testament that if you lie, or let a lie go on for a while, it becomes a solid thing that you have to keep up with.
oddly enough, i don’t lose sleep on this lie. i don’t see her often enough to fib about this on a daily or consistent level. Faye never cared anything about me or my life until she had something to try to one-up me on. SHE is the one losing sleep on account of her Stephen not succeeding quite like my Tim. it’s amazing how this lie has eaten her alive and made me feel proud of something that doesn’t even exist…
eh well.
i’ll be boarding the fake plane to Berkeley this afternoon, to celebrate Easter with my fake son.
Mama’s soooo proud of you, Timmy!

Seriously though, the number of grown adults who pitch a WHINY HISSY FIT when I tell them that they can’t take an animal home is astounding.

My favorite one from this holiday season was a man with a young girl (about 5 or 6 years old) and a teenage boy.  The man approaches me and, without me even asking what I can help them with, says:

Man: So we had a goldfish in a bowl and my son changed the food and it died!
Son: (clearly offended, yet texting) It wasn’t MY fault!
Me: Actually the reason it more than likely died is because goldfish REALLY shouldn’t be kept in bowls.
Man: Well it’s a big bowl, like this! (mimes about a gallon-sized bowl shape)
Me: Yeah, that’s actually pretty darn tiny.
Man: Well anyway, we want to get another one.
Girl: I want three!
Me: Unfortunately I can’t sell you a fish today– your setup really isn’t going to work for a goldfish.  You’re going to need at least 10 gallons for just ONE and even then you’re going to have to upgrade within a month or so.  Goldfish really aren’t a beginner fish…

As I say that I brace myself knowing what’s coming up.  Almost every time I refuse sale of a fish, I get the same reaction: outrage and demanding to talk to the manager, etc.

Man: Well I HAVE a tank.
Me: …I really don’t feel comfortable selling you the fish since I really feel like you’re not going to give it the proper care it needs for a long and healthy life.
Man: What?! I said I have a tank!  Why won’t you sell me the fish?!
Me: How big is the tank?
Man: 10 gallons!
Me: I still don’t feel comfortable selling you the fish.  I’m going to have to refuse the sale, I’m very sorry.
Man: What do you mean?!
Me: I’m not going to sell you fish today, I’m very sorry.
Man: I demand to talk to your manager!!!
Me: -points to nametag- Sir, I AM the manager.
Man: -takes a full pause, not expecting this-
Man: So you’re not going to sell me a fish, really?  These 15-cent fish that you feed to turtles, you’d sell it for that but not to me??
Me: If you had the setup for it, I would be more than happy to.
Man: I told you I have a tank!
Me: You told me you had your fish in a bowl.  I honestly believe you are just saying this to get the fish at this point, sir, I’m sorry.
Man: What do you I have to do, bring in a picture to prove I have it??
Me: -calling his bluff in a cheerful tone-  Absolutely!  I would love to see pictures of your tank and I would be more than happy to help you stock it after seeing your setup!
Man: (He takes another full pause) I’m going to call the company and COMPLAIN about you!  This is ridiculous, what’s the number to complain??
Me: I’m afraid I don’t know that off the top of my head sir.
Man: You don’t know the company number???
Me: No sir, but I believe it’s on our website.

While this was going on, the teenage boy was in the reptiles aisle texting and the girl was watching the turtles swim around in our tank nearby.  The man then grabs his daughter by the hand and does this in front of other customers:

Man: Let’s go– the lady’s not going to sell us fish.  She’s a MEAN LADY. (he’s staring directly at me as I stand there with no expression on my face)
Girl: Oh we’re not getting fish?  -not even upset-
Man: Yeah because she’s a MEAN LADY. (he says these words at a higher volume and with more emphasis)

He continues to repeat that phrase as he exits down the reptile aisle, making customers uncomfortable and I just shrug and go back to what I was doing before this scene.

An hour later I get a call from corporate.

NC: Hi, this is the national center, we just wanted to ask about the conditions surrounding a complaint we received about you.  A customer has complained that you wouldn’t sell him a fish even after stating he had the correct setup.  We just would like to hear your side of the story.
Me: (I tell him about the fact the guy had a goldfish in a bowl and then changed his story saying he had a tank and that I refused sale because I didn’t feel he was being honest or would care for the animal)
Me: And then he left the store, calling me a “mean lady” several times in a loud voice and said he would call you guys.
NC: Ok Christina, I just wanted to let you know that we agree with you 100% and that you did everything you were supposed to.  We wish you a very happy holiday season and I hope your shift goes well!
Me: Thank you!  You too!

I did a little happy dance and told the other manager on duty, who didn’t believe me when I said the company would have my back on the issue (he thought the company would bend over backwards for the guy and it would bite me in the butt)

BUT WAIT IT GETS BETTER

The next day I come in for work at 2PM to find out from my general manager that the guy had called the store (after the nat center told him I was correct, mind you) to complain about me and saying that my behavior was “irresponsible” and that I was “unprofessional” and that I should be reprimanded or fired.

My general manager just said “Well I’m sorry to hear that sir but you see, she has NEVER gotten a complaint as long as she has worked for the company and the national center has already stated that she has done everything according to policy.  Sorry you feel that way, man, but there’s nothing I’m going to do against her in this situation.”

Made my week.

So, yeah, my company defended the life of a 15-cent “feeder” goldfish.

I’m pretty damn happy about that.

Empowerment Spell Bottle

My craft is quite personal. I just follow my instincts and choose things that seem to call to me at the time, so you won’t find me posting spells very often. But as I was making up this spell bottle I thought I’d post it to inspire others to create something similar or to add a little magick to their holiday season.

This bottle contains:

-water (from my home)
-a few drops of sweet orange essential oil (to keep my family close)
-lavender buds (for less stress)
-rose buds (for love)
-bay leaf (for prosperity)
-catnip (for my kitty)
-sea salt (for luck in my craft)
-dandelion (so my wishes come true)

While placing this bottle under the light of the holiday full moon, I will chant:

With this elixir I ask the Earth
to be with me now
and in this year’s new birth.

I plan to dab the charged water on my wrists and behind my ears throughout the year to empower me and remind me of my goals from the previous year.

Wishing you all Happy Holidays, and a lovely new year (:

❤️

Winter starters because I still can't help myself 🌨❄️🌧

“I’ve never been ice skating before…”

“I hate winter.”

“It’s supposed to snow today!”

“We’re snowed in…”

“We can spend Christmas alone together if you want.”

“What do you want for [holiday celebration]?”

“Santa just scares me…”

“Do we HAVE to watch Elf again?”

“Hot chocolate?”

“Bring a jacket!”

“I wish it was summer…”

“The power’s out.”

“That’s the dumbest looking snowman I’ve ever seen.”

“Here, take my jacket.”

“This weather is depressing.”

“Happy holidays!”

Happy holidays!

This year for me has been a very special year, I have achieved goals that I can’t even imagine being able to reach, not only about my works but also in real life. I still have a lot to improve, but for me it is already a great start. But the thing that filled me with pride is that I managed to inspire people to improve through my work, to be determined and never stop when faced with difficulties. And this is also thanks to you who have supported me since I started, that not only have driven me to continue but have also helped me improve. And I know that I thank you very often, this is because I’m really grateful to all this, and I feel that what I realize, what I write is not enough to express it. Well, I conclude by making you my warmest wishes for happy holidays and making a summary of all the projects I’ve done this year! 

anonymous asked:

My partner is set to deploy next month. This will be our 3rd deployment since we got together. It has me thinking about Sterek Military fics. Marines, Army, Navy, Navy Seal, Spec Ops, whatever I will take them all. Bless you and this blog for getting me through many lonely nights.

Awwww, sending your partner good vibes and well wishes!  Tried to find you some completed fics with happy endings bb, hope they help <3  -Emmy

Originally posted by super-hoech

I’m Coming Home by redhoodedwolf 

(1,031 I Teen I Complete)  *military!Stiles

Prompt from Tumblr:
I’m not sure if your still doing prompts… but if you are I would love you forever if you could write a Military!AU, where Stiles surprises Derek be coming back early!! Very FLUFFY!!!

Everyday Will Be Like a Holiday by wirewrappedlily 

(1,395 I General I Complete)  *soldier!Derek

When Stiles woke at ten the next morning, Derek was curled tight around him, Erica’s head in the dip of Derek’s waist, and Isaac’s thin form thrown over their legs, Scott lying around both Stiles and Isaac while Lydia slept in as small a ball as possible on Stiles’s chest, Boyd’s hand on her head as if she’d had a nightmare. Stiles smiled to himself, going back to staring at Derek’s sleeping features. The curve of his eyelashes and the relaxed shape of his mouth. He wanted to trace his finger over the line of Derek’s nose, leave hickies over the straight edge of Derek’s jaw. It was new and old and so good Stiles wanted to cry.

Derek was home.

Coming Home For Christmas by Nerdy_fangirl_57 

(1,780 I General I Complete) *soldier!Derek, married!sterek

Stiles was trying to be the best dad he could be for his little girl after Derek was drafted into the military 3 months ago. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t feel like crying when Alex tells him that all she wants for Christmas is for Santa to bring her papa back home. 

What a Difference a Day Makes by the_gramophone 

(1,888 I General I Complete)   *soldier!Stiles

Derek is struggling not to feel lonely this Valentine’s Day, but he does his best to put on a brave and happy face for his daughter. Both their days take a turn for the better when they get an unexpected surprise.

Home Without a Heart by 138andcounting 

(2,145 I Not Rated I Complete)   *marine!Derek

Derek leave the Marines due to an injury, and finds himself in a small town in California, Beacon Hills. Not being able to stop helping others, he joins the police, where he meets 18-year-old Stiles Stilinski. A year of dating later, they moved to NY for Stiles to go to college. After dating for two years, Derek get’s an unexpected visitor.

Coming Home by Ella Dean Pendragon 

(2,277 I General I Complete)  *soldier!Derek

It’s been three hundred and seventy six days since he left and Stiles has been living each day as it comes but all that is about to change. Non werewolf AU. Army AU, Sterek, Slash. Other pairings Scisaac, Dethan and Lydia/Aiden.

A Soldier Surprise by Eburn 

(2,765 I General I Complete)  *soldier!Derek

The one where Derek is a Soldier and Stiles is at Uni, and they’re engaged. Derek surprises Stiles by coming home early.

Traveling Soldier by Angelwithwingsoffire 

(3,006 I Not Rated I Complete)  *soldier!Derek

Stiles works in a diner when one day a soldier walks in, dressed in army greens and sits down at one of Stiles’s booths. They end up talking and soon enough Stiles is sending letters off to one Sergeant Derek Hale, until one day, the letters stop.

Thank God Your Heart is Too Close by hoars 

(3,469 I Not Rated I Complete)  *soldier!Derek

There’s a boy, (“Fuck you, dude. I’m seventeen. Not fifteen.” Stiles laughs in his memory) waiting for him back home.

Coming Home by WyldeWombat (orphan_account) 

(3,766 I Teen I Complete)  *soldier!Derek

Derek joined the military over four years ago, and Stiles doesn’t get to see his mate very much. In fact, he hasn’t seen Derek in over a year. Little does he know, Derek is coming home.

In the Air, On Land, On Sea by enthroned 

(6,443 I General I Complete)   *marine!Derek, marine!Stiles

In which Derek is a marine on his way home.  He meets Stiles, a marine on his way to war.

Marine Sergeant Hale by Angelwithwingsoffire 

(6,258 I Not Rated I Complete)  *marine!Derek

Stiles has been bullied for years and it gets worse when the Sheriff is deployed one last time. One day, in the middle of the daily beating, a Marine comes to his rescue. A very hot and muscular Marine who also happens to be in uniform. And unbeknownst to Stiles, they’ve met before. Stiles can’t remember but Derek remembers it all.

If You’re Not Here to Turn the Lights Off (I Can’t Sleep) by losingmyangelgrace 

(7,234 I Explicit I Complete)  *marine!Derek, teacher!Stiles

“Honey! I’m home!” Stiles shouted into the empty apartment as he moved quickly through to the kitchen, dumping his backpack onto bench before crossing to the fridge and crossing off another day on the calendar. A month and a half. That was how long was left until Derek came home, until he was safe. Everyday felt like a lifetime to Stiles.

Grace - Prologue by Venchaser 

(9,655 I Explicit I Complete)  *historical au, WWII au, soldier!Derek, doctor!Stiles

Twoshot - Prologue (Complete) . It is the 1939, the world is on the brink of a second World War. Stiles is the son of a wealthy high ranking ministry official. His friend and childhood protector Derek Hale is off to the same medical school as he is, with the financial help of his own father, something Stiles is not too happy about, though he won’t admit it to himself that there might be feelings involved. Yet.

The Last Time by clawstoagunfight

(10,874 I Explicit I Complete)  *Soldier!Stiles

Stiles is leaving in the morning and Derek can’t find the words to say how he feels. Instead, he shows him.

Secrets of Suburbia by GiaUrsula 

(17,338 I Mature I Complete)  *historical au, Soldier!Derek

Lydia Martin was the Queen Bee of Beacon Hills so it was her job to welcome her husband’s nephew, Derek, and his new wife into the neighbourhood. Derek has returned home after service in Korea to settle down and marry his sweetheart, Gen, who Lydia becomes fast friends with. But after stumbling upon Derek cheating on Gen, she isn’t sure what to think. But who was the man she saw him with? Who is Stiles?

Air Mail by Handsofred 

(20,229 I Not Rated I Complete)  *soldier!derek, dad!derek, teacher!stiles

‘’Oh my god’’ Stiles breathed out as heavy booted footsteps faded away down the hall. ‘’oh my god’’

‘’Stiles?’’ Allison asked as he scrambled around the desk searching for the last letter before he was thrusting it at their faces.

‘’It’s him…my soldier…it’s him, it’s Mattie’s dad’’ He told them, his eyes wide as Allison took the letter from him, ‘’oh my god, oh my god and I fainted in front of him…oh Jesus Christ’’

Protecting Home by countrygirlsfun 

(38,400 I Mature I Complete)   *soldier!Stiles, Teacher!Derek

Stiles Stilinski is now an ex-army sniper and engaged to kindergarten teacher Derek Hale. All he wants is to leave his military service and experiences behind him so he can move on and build his life with Derek.

But it isn’t always easy when the battlefield follows you home.

I’ll Be Seeing You by thepsychicclam 

(81,489 I Explicit I Complete)  *soldier!derek, WWII au, historical au

In the summer of 1941, with the country on the brink of war, diner waiter Stiles meets Derek Hale, an army soldier just passing through Beacon Hills.

Terrible Pick-Up Lines Meme
  • "Do you know what would look good on you? Me."
  • "Excuse me, I am about to go home to masturbate and needed a name to go with the face."
  • "Fuck me if I am wrong, but you want to screw me, don't you?"
  • "Hey, want to play house? I could be the door, and you could slam me all night long."
  • "How do you like your eggs: poached, scrambled, or fertilized?"
  • "I do floors, doors, windows, and you."
  • "I wish you were a screen door, so I can slam you all day long."
  • "If I flip a coin, what are the chances of me getting head?"
  • "Is that crotch sweat, or are you just happy to see me?"
  • "If I was a skateboard and you were a ramp, I would grind you all night."
  • "If I was your coworker, I'd sexually harass you."
  • "If your left leg was Thanksgiving and your right leg Christmas, can I visit you between the Holidays?"
  • "I’m tired. You’re tired. Let’s sleep together!"
  • "Let's bypass all the bullshit and just get naked."
  • "Let's have a party and invite your pants to come on down."
  • "Life is like a dick. When it gets hard, 'Fuck it'."
  • "My face is leaving in fifteen minutes. Be on it."
  • "Remember my name. you'll be screaming it later."
  • "Roses are red, violets are blue. I like spaghetti, let's go screw."
  • "That dress looks very becoming on you. Of course, if I were on you, I'd be coming, too."
  • "Wanna play some football? We can both be skins."
  • "What are you doing tonight? Besides me?"
  • "Would you like to try an Australian kiss? It is just like a French kiss, but down under."
  • "You are what you eat, and tonight I want to be you."
  • "You must be a cold shower, because I'd love to be inside of you."
  • "You must not have air conditioning because I'm your fan and you're turning me on."
  • "You remind me of my pink toe; you're small, you're cute, and I'm probably going to bang you on my coffee table later tonight."
  • "You wanna go skinny dipping in my water bed?"

anonymous asked:

so mothers day is coming up in a couple weeks, so i was wondering what is the most memorable (best worst doesnt matter) mother's day the pta moms have had

what are you all getting me for mothers day btw? hmm? (jk!!)

Hakeyon - when hyuk wished him a happy mothers day 4 months after mothers day

Jin - when jimin got him a cake with his face on it and then the two of them ate it together while holding hands 

Jeonghan - when vernon said “happy mothers day” and jeonghan was like wow! thanks! but vernon was like “im not talking to you, im talking to joshua our real mother.” 

Kihyun - when hyungwon actually remembered to thank him for dinner and kihyun was like ,,,,,,omg you’re learning your manners and teared up,,,,,,but hyungwon was like lol no this is a holiday where im forced to be nice to you. chill

Suho - when tao posted a meme about mothers day and suho liked it and tao blocked him 2 seconds after 

A Blind Path Home, part 3

Steve Rogers x Reader

A/N: I obviously took some liberties with the storyline, but I tried keeping it as true as possible to the canon history. No beta used this time around, so excuse my mistakes.

Summary: It started with a blind date. A date you had skipped out on, but fate had led you right to the man you stood up. Steve Rogers, a man small in stature but big in heart. A chance meeting set everything in motion, but decades later when he is unfrozen, he has been told you have died. But when a mission to retrieve Hydra plans turned up some interesting information, Steve’s left to wonder whether you are still alive. Or is this all just false hope?

Masterlist

Keep reading

Well, I failed my challenge this month, the flu knocked me down and it was just impossible to do anything except sleep ! : /
Here is the only sketch I draw this month and sadly this will be my last drawing of 2016.
I wish you a happy Holiday Season, see you in 2017 :)

10

To every person I can reach with this,

I wish each and everyone of you a huge MERRY CHRISTMAS from the bottom of my heart. ❤️🎄
MAY ALL YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE. 💖

This year brought so many changes for me, I can hardly imagine how it used to be before.

I’ve been on Tumblr and Twitter for about half a year and I’ve already met so many WONDERFUL and HEARTWARMING people here! 💕💕💕
I’ve found so many friends, supporters and followers and I wouldn’t like to miss a single one of them. You guys are AMAZING!!

Most of all, I’d like to thank @barakei84. I know she would deny it (😉), but she’s one of the most heartwarming and beautiful persons I’ve ever met.

And my last and probably biggest THANK YOU goes to the person I’ve had the pleasure to draw in this about 35 drawings - MR. MICHAEL FASSBENDER. Without him, I wouldn’t have met all those nice people. I’ve spent hours, days and weeks with “him” in my room and I’ve never had so much fun. 😄 I’ve practised and learned so much by trying to draw him in so many of his wonderful movies. I’ve I could make a wish for Christmas, I’d like him to see my work. Not only for me, but also for all of his and my fans, who helped me out with advices, pics and encouraging messages. I don’t know where I would be without you. ❤️❤️❤️

I am sorry for this very huge post, but I think there should always be space for a THANK YOU!

HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO ALL OF YOU! 💗💗💗

@klassyfassy @michaelfassyfastbender @michaelfassbenderisbeautiful @michaelfassbenderonline @magnetobsessed79 @soulfulmags @bacooperworld @tara-ngx @mrassbender @fassbender-m @fassmebender @hughxjackman @tedystaleva @fuckyeahfassbender @fuckyeahfassavoy @fuckyeahcharlesanderik @fassandavoy @0phei @messedup4good @dearfassbender @fassbender-x-mcavoy @fassbender-mcavoyobsessed @cherikinlove @fassynated @fassyforever @thatfassy @kiss-my-fass @fassysource @shadow-of-cherik @magneto-was-right @magneto-was-left @charles-francis-lehnsherr @xavierstea @cumbermelikecrazy @realfassfans @fassinatedhiddlestoner @fassytheshark @fassythelegend @lenaoffassy @lokimaxiejackie @mcfassytime @mcfassy-hiddlesbatch @chookier @ellatheolivemoth @glendathegoodone

Rickmorty fic for Secret Santa!

Yay! First of all, huge thanks to @schwifty-rick for organizing the Secret Santa exchange and thus blessing us with a whole bunch of new fanworks. You the man!

My Secret Santa recipient is @siren-of-the-dark. I wrote a little C-137cest drabble for you that has absolutely nothing to do with Christmas, it’s just an idea that struck me a while back. It’s a little funny at points and a little angsty at other points, and pretty much PWP. I hope you enjoy it and wish you happy holidays! :)


(I don’t have a name for this fic yet.) Rating: Explicit. Word count: 1881.

Rickmorty, rickxmorty, c-137cest, incest, masturbation, mutual masturbation, voyerism, anal fingering, swearing.


On a scale of brilliant ideas, from one to ”having a threesome while snorting KLax at Blips ’n Chitz”, equipping every room in the Smith house with undetectable surveillance cameras was… pretty high up there, to be honest. Rick congratulated himself again for good thinking as his eyes stayed glued on the live camera feed on his computer screen. He had installed the camera system for safekeeping – word around the Council of Ricks was that Zero Rick was reality-hopping and trying to spread his shitty emo music files to the Smith family computers in every timeline. That was an extremely solid reason to start spying on his family, Rick had figured.

Getting a live feed of his grandson masturbating to a photo of him hadn’t really been a part of the plan, but Rick was nothing if not flexible.

Keep reading

10

I’m officially an asshole of a secret santa; not only am I 24 hours late at delivering my present, I bring you WizTail angst! >:D

Forgive me pixel-shock for being late; feel free to spank me, but first allow me to wish you happy holidays! I hope you had an amazing Christmas this year!! =D I got some trouble getting ideas, but hopefully this isn’t terrible. When I saw you liked WizTail (even if it wasn’t priority), I thought perhaps that was something I could work with.

Christmas in Japan is the Day you spend time with the person you love the most. While Tailmon and Wizarmon can’t be “together”, I thought they could be united by their thoughts, and Wizarmon could be present in spirit. Not only that, Tailmon is rescuing the kitty the same way she rescued Wizarmon in the past, when they first met.

Hello! This is secret santa for @mellifluousbable!

Their request was for “ereri fireside chats; Eren, Levi, and friends have a secret santa gift exchange” and well… here you have the precious boys exchanging gifts by the fireplace with Hanji and Armin (and let’s just pretend that Mikasa and the others are grabbing drinks and food from the kitchen or something, haha).

I hope this is to your liking, and I wish you and everyone a warm, fun, safe, and wonderful holiday season!

MERRY CHRISTMAS! ♡