this is me when you're not around

them: can you rap?

me: you tell me

me: KID HONESTLY I COULD GO ON AND ON I CAN EXPLAIN EVERY NATURAL PHENOMENON THE TIDE THE GRASS THE GROUND AH THAT WAS MAUI JUST MESSIN AROUND I KILLED AN EEL I BURIED ITS GUTS SMOTHERED A TREE NOW YA GOT COCONUTS WHATS THE LESSON WHAT IS THE TAKE AWAY DONT MESS WITH MAUI WHEN HES ON A BREAKAWAY AND THE TAPESTRY HERE IN MY SKIN IS A MAP OF THE VICTORIES I WIN LOOK WHERE I’VE BEEN I MAKE EVERYTHING HAPPEN LOOK AT THAT MINIYAMAUIATICKITYHA HA HA HA HA HA HA HEY

them: holy shit

2

kara&lena - Star Wars AU

for the anon that requested a jedi!kara edit, i hope you like it :D 

(i’m so sorry my hand slipped and i added sith!lena in the mix, i just can’t help myself when it comes to them)

10

“To me, ONCEs give me strength! I don’t think TWICE will be around if we didn’t have ONCEs. When we are on stage, sometimes we can’t even hear the feed in our ears because everyone is singing along! ONCEs are the reason why we can enjoy ourselves on stage.”

#HappySanaDay ♡ While us ONCEs give you strength, you give us a reason to live because with no Sana, there really is no life. Thank you for being our cutie-sexy Sana and optimistic ray of sunshine. Know that we will always be around to love and support you~

I think we could call this a forced a collab’….

So around a month ago i asked @blackwolfartz if i could color this sketch so i could train myself with coloring.And she kindly accepted. (And it has been sitting in my draft ever since.) So thanks again to Wolf for being so awesome and letting me butcher her work and post, it was really interesting and fun and i’d redo it anytime! 

i know this is hard and i understand being angry and heartbroken because this is taking the game too far. but i also love the real life meta levels of this, that they’re such ACD fanboys they want to relive their favourite author’s life and then punch the world with the Real Ending.

if this is true, if we are right about the fourth ep, then this is a mind blowing rug pull on literally everyone around the world. they’re making casuals beg for something better, they’ve played the game so well even casuals can see john and sherlock belong together. isn’t that incredible? isn’t this exactly what we all wanted too?

yes, they underestimated their fans, and yes, they hurt us terribly, and yes, we should be angry. send complaints to the bbc, to hartswood films, sign the petition, etc, let them know what this did to us. but some crazy part of me thinks that maybe they also counted on us, clever so clever tjlc, to figure it out. and, once again, we have, haven’t we?

i’ve been through every stage of grief after tfp, and now i’m back to my roots, where i feel most comfortable - a conspiracy nutter. but i’m only a nutter if i’m wrong.

My regard of astrology was permanently soured when I walked into a New Age store for the first time, around eleven years old. A group of women there were talking about their signs and how awful, untrustworthy, and utterly evil Scorpios are. One woman declared that she wouldn’t associate with a Scorpio for any reason. She was the cashier.

Another counselor this summer mentioned on the first day how much he loathes Scorpios and refuses to be friends with them. Then he sent me a friend request on Facebook.

Nights of Ramen (and Other Little Things)

Right now it’s around 2am, and I am awake. My seven-year-old has a sore throat, and I just tucked her back into bed. And I find myself thinking about my friend @derdoktorsschnabel who is preparing to become a dad next Spring. 

I had already brought my daughter some cold water and a cough drop when she woke up coughing earlier tonight. This second time she was apologizing for waking me up again, but started crying and saying that her throat still hurt. I quietly lead her out of the room where her younger brother and sister were sleeping and took her into the kitchen. She said she was cold, so I got her one of my way-too-big sweatshirts and put it over her, with the hood up. Then I announced that I would be making her some of Dad’s Magical Healing Ramen. 

I put some water on the stove to boil, and chatted with her while I made the Top Ramen. I let her choose whether or not I would add an egg (she wisely chose “yes”) and also choose which flavor we’d have. When it was ready, I put an ice cube in her bowl, and told her to stir it around until the ice melted all the way. 

We sat at the table eating ramen together and talking while we ate. We talked about how ramen comes from Japan. She asked me if I knew where potato chips came from, and when I admitted I didn’t know, she said that she did and she’d show me the answer in a book tomorrow. I told her how ramen broth always makes my throat feel better when I’m sick. We kept chatting like this until my wife woke up and caught us in the kitchen with our Magical Healing Ramen. She gave our daughter a hug, and gave me a smirk. 

Finally, I gave my daughter an extra cough drop in case she woke up again, took her back to her room, and helped her straighten out her blankets and tucked her in again. 

OK, so here’s the point I want to get to. There’s a lot of pressure today when it comes to being a parent. Pressure to make every adorable crafty thing on Pinterest. Pressure to make every costume and lunch at home from scratch. Pressure to avoid any food remotely considered unhealthy. Pressure to follow the latest cognitive development routine to make sure your kid has learned calculus by the time they’re out of diapers. 

But the truth is, SO much of that is just chatter and noise. It’s easy to think that every kid wants a huge trip to Disneyland, or a massive tree house built in their backyard, but honestly what your kid really wants is just time with you. It’s the little stuff, accumulating over time, that will stick with them. It’s nights of ramen, and funny stories from your childhood, and letting them “help” with changing the lightbulb, and sitting on the swing next to them and talking about their day. 

I might be getting a bit overly sentimental and rambling right now, but I think that’s OK sometimes. That’s what kids do to you. They force you to get tired and dirty and frustrated and scared. And you learn to still be yourself anyway. 

Bottom Line: You’re gonna make a great parent. Don’t worry about it. Just do your best, relax, and just let the little things fall into place. 

When There's Nothing Left at All (Your Burning Lips They Will Cushion Every Fall) 1/3

Rated T

Pairing: Barry/Iris

Words: 5,129

Summary: "When she reaches what she deems a safe distance away she waits. And waits and waits. She blocks out the screaming and the panic surrounding her. Her fingers clasp around her mother’s wedding band hanging around her neck. It reminds her of Barry. Of his Christmas confession and now of his kiss. A kiss she doesn’t want to forget. A kiss that she wants to repeat again and again. Because good lord it was amazing.

What about Eddie?

1x15 Out of Time AU where Barry doesn’t run back and time and erase the kiss between him and Iris. Iris struggles with the fallout from the kiss and the reveal that Barry is The Flash as she tries to figure out her own feelings for him and what she wants.

Read on AO3


I am so sorry I didn’t want you to find out this way. Go!

Mouth hanging open slightly she stares after the yellow blur in shock. She watches as he runs round and round the the tidal wave heading for the city. He told her to go, but she’s frozen in place watching him.

Because holy shit Barry is The Flash. Barry Allen her best friend is The Flash. And she just can’t quite wrap her mind around that. It had been Barry all along.

She can still feel his lips on hers, his hands on her face. And her heart is still racing and she knows she needs to move. So finally after counting to ten she turns her back to him and she runs too.


She doesn’t get far.

At first she planned on going home and waiting there, but then she realized that Barry was trying to save the day and Mardon still had her father. No, there was no way in hell she was going to wait at home for them to come back safely.

When she reaches what she deems a safe distance away she waits. And waits and waits. She blocks out the screaming and the panic surrounding her. Her fingers clasp around her mother’s wedding band hanging around her neck. It reminds her of Barry. Of his Christmas confession and now of his kiss. A kiss she doesn’t want to forget. A kiss that she wants to repeat again and again. Because good lord it was amazing.

What about Eddie?

A nagging voice in her head puts a stop to her thoughts. Fuck. Eddie. Her boyfriend who she lives with. She thinks back to earlier that day in the police station when Barry had reassured her that he would bring her dad back. And now she realizes why he said that and how he could promise that. Because he would be the one bringing her dad back safely to her. In that moment it hadn’t really mattered to her. But Eddie had been watching them, standing too close to each other with Barry’s hands on her face. He must suspect something.

Shaking her head she decides she’ll deal with that later when both Barry and her dad are safe. She and Barry will have to talk and she’ll have to decide who she wants. Deep down she knows her answer and she thinks she’s always known on some level. But until Christmas she never really thought about it, about him like that. And now it’s all she can think about and she doesn’t want to stop.

She watches as the wave gets smaller and smaller and gradually Barry slows down. Letting out a breath of relief she still waits. Around her people are cheering.

The Flash just saved the city.

No, Barry just saved the city.

Yeah that’s going to take some getting used to.

Keep reading

“Still with the revolvers,” Murphy said, shaking her head. She drove past the street leading to the storage units and went one block past it instead before she turned and parked. “When are you going to get a serious gun?”

“Look,” I said, “just because you’ve got twice as many bullets as me-”

“Three times as many,” Murphy said. “The SIG holds twenty.”

“Twenty!? Look, the point is that-”

“And it reloads a lot faster. You’ve just got some loose rounds at the bottom of your pocket, right? No speed loader?”

I stuck the gun back in my pocket and tried to make sure none of the bullets fell out as we got out of the car. “That’s not the point.”

Murphy shook her head. “Damn, Dresden.”

“I know the revolver is going to work,” I said, starting toward the storage park. “I’ve seen automatics jam before.”

“New ones?”

“Well, no…”

Murphy placed her own gun in the pocket of her light sports jacket. “It’s a good thing you’ve got options. That’s all I’m saying.”

“If a revolver is good enough for Indiana Jones,” I said, “it’s good enough for me.”

“He was a fictional character, Harry.” Her mouth curved up in a small smile. “And he had a whip.”

I eyed her.

Her eyes sparkled. “Do you have a whip Dresden?”

I eyed her even more. “Murphy… are you coming on to me?”

Dear Future Wife...#651

I will never forget that first moment I saw you that day. I could never forget how it first felt to have your arms around me. I still remember exactly how soft your shirt was when I was hugging you, feeling your nervousness shake through your voice, your whole body. I could smell your perfume and feel your soft hair on my cheek during that first long hug. I’ll never forget how my whole body responded to yours, how I got goosebumps on that warm summer afternoon, how every word you spoke sounded like my new favorite song. When we stepped back and looked at each other shyly, I couldn’t believe you still wanted to go on that first official date. 

I could lie and say I didn’t know right then that you were it for me, that it took me some time to be sure…but some part of me knew that second that I wouldn’t ever have a first date again.

When There’s Nothing Left at All (Your Burning Lips They Will Cushion Every Fall) 3/3

Part 3 of 3 (Read Part 1 and Part 2

Rated T

Pairing: Barry/Iris

Words: 2,327

Summary: “When she reaches what she deems a safe distance away she waits. And waits and waits. She blocks out the screaming and the panic surrounding her. Her fingers clasp around her mother’s wedding band hanging around her neck. It reminds her of Barry. Of his Christmas confession and now of his kiss. A kiss she doesn’t want to forget. A kiss that she wants to repeat again and again. Because good lord it was amazing. 

What about Eddie?”

1x15 Out of Time AU where Barry doesn’t run back and time and erase the kiss between him and Iris. Iris struggles with the fallout from the kiss and the reveal that Barry is The Flash as she tries to figure out her own feelings for him and what she wants.

Chapter summary: The events of the end of Season 1 wrap up and Iris and Barry finally get their happy ending. 

Read on AO3


She finds him on the rooftop just where she thought he would be. Her dad had warned her about what was going on and she knows Barry needs time to get his thoughts straight, but he also needs someone to talk to. Briefly he turns his head when he hears her and then goes back to looking out over the city.

Standing next to him she leaves some space between them not quite knowing how to proceed. She makes some comment about how this was always one of her favorite places to come and think. What she keeps to herself is that really she likes it up here because of her meetings with The Flash and she thinks that maybe he does too.

He has yet to say anything and hasn’t looked at her since she first arrived. Either he’s deep in thought or he’s avoiding her. It doesn’t matter to her which one it is all she wants is to be able to help him.

“Talk to me.”

He shakes his head and shifts so his back is now leaning against the ledge. Blowing out at a breath he looks at her and the vulnerability in his eyes just about kills her. “I-can you,” he stops himself clearly frustrated, but she waits patiently. “Can you- come here. Just come here, okay?” She’s about to question him, but his eyes plead with her so she quickly moves in front of him letting him pull her close. “I need-I just need-just for a minute,” he mutters against her hair.

She nods against his chest understanding what he’s having difficulty trying to say. She hugs him around the waist and rubs his back soothingly as he draws comfort from her.

“I could see my mom again. I could save her.” He doesn’t loosen his hold on her, but she can tell he’s calmed down a little.

“I know.”

“I could have both my parents. I could-”

“I know.”

And then he draws back, making sure that he’s still touching her and she lifts her head and she can see the conflict clear on his face. “I don’t know what to do.”

Keep reading

my pretty boys~

self-confidence paradox

I’m not hot. I’m not sexy. Or at least, I don’t feel like I am.

And sometimes you just really want that validation.

I don’t want to be cute. I don’t want to be pretty.

I want to be desirable and wild and whatever else that shit entails.

I want to be hit on.

But at the same time, I don’t?

Partially because I accept that this urge is this bullshit social drive for women to be sex objects. Which I want no part of.

Partially because I don’t actually care about my image that much. It takes effort & energy I just don’t have.

And also because I’m terrified of people actually hitting on me.

I like to flirt, I like to kiss. But what if someone actually wants sex? (which is usually the point)

I’m not interested in that part all that much. (well, most of the time)

And I’m paranoid of strangers. And I don’t take compliments well. So I wouldn’t know what to do if it happened.

But like… My confidence takes a dive every time it happens to someone else and not me.

I’m not hot. But sometimes I want someone to tell me I am.

*checks tumblr. Spits out cereal* 1500! WHAT?!

Thank you to everyone who has followed your support means the world to me and I never thought I’d ever get this number of followers. I still remember when I had around 10 followers back in May and thus has all happened so quickly and I want to say thank you so much for all the help and support you guys give.

You’re all awesome amazing people and thanks for following, I’d be nothing without any of you so honestly thank you so much.

stress relief klance doodle ₍՞◌′ᵕ‵ू◌₎♡