this is me losing my interest

It’s weird how one can lose interest so fast. I am someone who needs attention, communication. I’d rather be overwhelmed receiving affection, than to feel like I’m the last thing on someone’s mind. One day, you were important. Now, you’re not. Our conversations became empty, less than a sentence. Suddenly, I just stopped caring. I guess the realization came when I was the only one opening up. When I realized you didn’t really have time for me. It may be selfish of me, it may be immature, but I’m someone who needs the reassurance of my worth. You ended up being someone who couldn’t do that.

anonymous asked:

How are you feeling?

I feel bad for not doing anything with my day off. There are things I want to do, but I can’t find the motivation to start them and I’m worried I’ll just quickly lose interest if I did manage to start them. I have to work a later shift on Monday and my mom keeps asking me to go to bingo with her anyway. I really don’t want to, not just because I’ll have to immediately go there after having worked 7 hours but also because it’s just not much fun for me to go anymore. Like almost everything else, something that was once fun now feels like a chore I have to force myself to enjoy.

Thank you. *hugs*

No one is on so idk why I’m bothering with this but yeah I’m alive. Honestly though, I’m exhausted. I just finished a three week lab yesterday I’d been busting my ass for and I have two math tests next week. I never lose my muse for Iiliit but my motivation is just down low I haven’t even talked to my friends the past week and I’m sorry for that I’m not ignoring anyone I’m just too tired to care. Idk when I’ll be back or when I can talk again I’m sorry to ppl I owe but RP is kinda low on my priority list rn. I hope no one loses interest in me or iil we’ll be back when we have more time and aren’t so tired. I’m trying to get things done in advance so I don’t get buried.

iamanemotionaltimebomb  asked:

Can I request a flustered/blushing Shane or Sam?

Yes, yes you may~ Here’s some blushing boys for all your blushing needs.

Want to send an art/writing prompt or have a question? Click HERE! Or send a MESSAGE! Remember I have seen your prompt, I just like to leave them in my inbox so I don’t lose them later. Interested in a commission? Click HERE! If you’re on mobile and have questions about prices and what I offer don’t be afraid to ask me!  

Bonus: Who knows what the farmer told Sam. I know I don’t. ;)

Right, so now that I have revealed myself to be actual Ladybug trash, time to make this one post that’s been on my mind for a while. If you don’t follow me for Miraculous Ladybug stuff (a.k.a. all my followers) then sorry about this.

So, a big fad throughout the fandom at the moment is giving Miraculouses to the supporting cast, and I am SO BEHIND THIS. It would develop the show beyond the status quo and freshen it up spectacularly across seasons, because if it keeps being a magical girl monster-of-the-week show with wacky antics ad nauseum then I’m going to probably lose interest fairly quickly. Some of the most popular miraculous assignments are Alya receiving the fox miraculous, Nino receiving the turtle miraculous ( @thelastpilot ) and alternatively Lila receiving the real, actual fox miraculous. I’m going to throw my two cents in on what thematically would work with the rest of the show.

First of all, we know three miraculous holders for definite and one for almost definite. Marinette is Ladybug, Adrien is Cat Noir, Master Fu is the unnamed turtle hero and the likelihood is Gabriel is Hawkmoth/Papillon. The thing is, if you look at miraculous holders and their miraculouses, a pattern of character starts emerging.

Let’s start with Marinette.

Marinette is, in short, a clumsy klutz with terrible luck, who normally you wouldn’t trust with giving an ounce of responsibility to – not because she wouldn’t take it seriously, but because she seems totally incompetent. The ladybug miraculous, on the other hand, is the miraculous of luck itself, with the most responsibility of all the miraculouses – and indeed, when Marinette transforms into Ladybug, almost all her clumsiness goes straight out the nearest window and she gains HUGE amounts of responsibility – she’s the one responsible for cleaning up the mess after an Akuma attack. The miraculous is not given to Marinette because she’s the best person for the job – far from it, she acknowledges in the origins episode Alya would be a far better fit. However, what’s important is that she has the capacity to grow into the role of Ladybug – and she well and truly does.

Now, let’s look at Adrien.

Adrien is a rich kid who’s incredibly lucky – he’s had everything fall into his lap from a young age, and has had competence (fencing, multilingualism etc.) drilled into him, at the cost of not being able to loosen up and socialise. His miraculous transforms him into Cat Noir, the poster boy for destruction and bad luck, with a kwami, Plagg, who’s constantly getting himself into the kind of destructive shenanigans you’d expect from Marinette through his own hedonism. See the pattern? Adrien and Marinette both receive the miraculouses that don’t represent them – they represent everything they aren’t – but everything they could be if they developed.

Now let’s look at Master Fu and Gabriel, because they’re a little different, but equally as important.

Master Fu, on the surface, seems like an ideal fit for the turtle in terms of alignment. The turtle in symbolism represents age, wisdom, protection. Master Fu stands for all these things – but Master Fu is a miraculous holder beyond his prime. He is at the end of his development. I have a feeling if we ever saw young Fu, we’d see him as a figure of youthful energy, who just wants to let loose and have fun, possibly even be anti-authoritarian when it comes to adults. This should sound true of another character in the show, and I’ll get back to that.

Gabriel, if everything is hinting at what we think it’s hinting at, however, does not fit the butterfly miraculous at all. The butterfly represents stages of life, and change, moving on, transformation. It’s heavily hinted Gabriel’s wife is dead – at the very least, Hawkmoth/Papillon has Adrien’s mother’s picture in his locket. Hawkmoth/Papillon’s goal now seems to be to attain the miraculouses so he can resurrect his dead wife. He’s not accepting death, and he’s not accepting the creed of his miraculous – he’s rejecting it, twisting it, corrupting it, thus becoming the supervillain who uses his Kwami’s powers against their will.

When a miraculous is granted to an owner, they can choose to learn from it, or reject it. But most importantly, they are granted to people who lack the qualities their miraculouses represent – their character flaws are what the miraculous works to iron out. That being said, let’s look at Lila.

Lila is a compulsive liar. Her Akumatised form is presumably the actual hero that emerges from the fox miraculous – a hero of lies and illusions. This is unhealthy for her – the miraculous isn’t helping her overcome her weaknesses, it’s only accentuating her character flaws. Lila will never grow as a person if she truly becomes Volpina.

So who actually needs secrets, lies and illusions in their life? Well, it’d be someone for whom truth is all-consumingly destructive. Someone whose self-destructive pursuit of the truth puts not only herself, but other people in the line of fire, and whose Akumatised form represents truth at all costs. I’m talking, of course, about Alya.

This is why fox!Alya appeals to me so much – because Alya would be able to learn and grow from the fox miraculous, because it represents traits that she needs to attain. Now, let’s look at the other popular miraculous assignment – turtle!Nino. That thing I mentioned earlier? Here it comes again.

Nino is the epitome of youthful vigour in the show – everything from his style to his DJing to his horribly outdated slang in the English dub (seriously, who the hell is a Totally Radical Dude in the 21st Century!? No-one. No-one is who.) His Akumatised form is Bubbler, a childish clown who tries to exile all adults. If there’s one person in the show who NEEDS the turtle miraculous and its traits of wisdom, age and protection, it’s Nino. This miraculous was MADE for Nino – right down to the outdated slang, providing an added meta bonus to the English dub that Nino becomes a massive allusion to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

This is why I love fox!Alya and turtle!Nino – because they work thematically with who has already received miraculouses. This begs the question – what happens to Lila?

I’d like to suggest something I think no-one else has thought of. I present, a digression: Peacock!Lila.

Peacocks are about vision, kind-heartedness and integrity – the peacock miraculous represents everything the fox miraculous doesn’t. If Lila became the peacock miraculous hero, she’d learn and develop SO MUCH MORE than if she became Volpina. She’d truly have the redemption and character arc that she needs – she’d learn there are more ways to solve a problem than lies, and that truth can be just as valuable. Likewise, this is why Peacock!Alya would actually be unhealthy for her – because it would only drive her even deeper into her already destructive drive for truth and justice.

This is what I call the Miraculous Character Development Theory. I dunno, it was just a thing that occurred to me.

tl;dr: fox!Alya and turtle!Nino work thematically and so does the rather outlandish peacock!Lila. Sorry this has been a mile long post about a god damn kids’ show. I have… several problems.

I’m the type of girl who doesn’t chase after men or if a guy lose his interest in me, I won’t care at all. I know my worth and I know the reason most probably because of incompatibility, lack of chemistry or connection or simply not the woman he’s currently looking for. I don’t want to waste my time anymore, I just want to move on, simply live the life I want and hopefully when the right man comes, I will just know.
—  3:13 am thoughts
BTS: NOW 3 Interview ~ Jimin

Where do you want to go right now?
Hawaii with all the members. 

What are you looking forward to the most right now?
Concert! I really am excited to perform on stage. 

What are your five greatest interests right now?
BTS, family, A.R.M.Y., music, and me. 

What was Chicago like?
The weather was great in Chicago, and people looked happy and at peace with the buildings and surrounding. 

What did you like during your stay in Chicago?
The city had a very happy and calm atmosphere, and I too was delighted and comfortable there. 

You had a total of six concepts in the photo book. Which concept or story did you think suited you the most?
I liked the concept behind NEW NEVERLAND. I like dark moods when I am shooting photos, and I really enjoyed the last moments when I was shooting for the New Neverland concept. I think I did a good job because I was feeling good and comfortable. I had to express the utmost happiness, feeling the wind and sun while not thinking much, and the weather, the breeze, and surroundings were all just perfect, and I was able to feel really happy instead of acting like I was happy. I couldn’t stop smiling. 

Do you think you are a grown-up now?
To be honest, I don’t know if I am a grown-up or not. I believe I think and act immaturely, so I can’t call myself a grown-up. But, sometimes it just comes to me that I am responsible for the consequences of my thoughts and actions, and I think, ‘wow’ I’m not a kid anymore.’ So, to sum up, I think the bottom line is to be responsible of one’s own actions. 

What was it like when you finally turned 20?
I didn’t feel freedom, which is what I expected to feel when I turn 20. But I felt proud that I am finally an adult. 

What did you want to do the most when you become an adult?
I wanted to take a trip with my friends. 

You in your imagination as a little boy 10 years ago vs. You right now - Are you the same person?
I am exactly the same person. I am doing what I dreamed of as a child.

You released the cover song ‘Adult Child’ three years ago. Can you empathize with the lyrics?
To a certain point, I agree with the lyrics. However, I don’t think I am a dark person like the lyrics. 

Is there something you have not tried but want to do someday?
Learn to play musical instruments. 

What other people tell you the most these days.
Don’t lose weight. 

What you need to hear right now.
It’s okay. 

For those who support you…
It’s all because of you that I could achieve my dreams. You guys are my dream too. 

Your goal in 2016.
Nothing special. I just want to be a cooler person than last year’s me. 

Your definition of ‘dream.’
I think the things you think you will be very happy with after achieving them are called dreams. When I was little, I dreamed of becoming what I am right now, and I am so very happy. And I want to be happier in the future. 

After the interview…What are you going to do now?
I will finish eating my snack. 

Rap Monster Jin / Suga / J-Hope / V / Jungkook
(Cr.)

sometimes it feels like my lungs are caving in sometimes it feels like everyone close to me is losing interest sometimes it feels like nothing is right and everything is ruined

How to not lose my/an INTJ’s interest

While I, an INTJ, am very loyal to the people I love and care about, I have a problem: Sooner or later, I tend to lose interest in most of my friends. This isn’t something I’m proud of - in fact, I feel like there’s something wrong with me - but nevertheless, it doesn’t make it any less interesting to analyze. And maybe someone else will even be able to relate, which would be cool.

So here’s a list of things I came up with that can stop me from losing my interest in you.

1. Care about me, but not excessively.

I want deep friends, and if I care about you, I want you to care about me. It can be simple things like asking how I am every now and again, surprising me with kind words or listening to me if I need to talk about something. But don’t let it go too far.

Don’t send me a message everyday asking how I am/how I’m feeling; it makes me feel suffocated, and I will most likely stop talking to you about my feelings. Don’t bombard me with praise or worship me; it makes me feel uncomfortable and sometimes even disgusted, and you will probably lose my respect. Don’t blow my feelings out of proportions if I don’t; I may just want to tell you about something without needing you to go “Awwww nooooo sweetie :( :( :( :( :( This is terrible, how are you feeling??? Omg I’m crying now” or bombard me with messages every day the following week. (Yep, has happened.)

Just, you know, care about me and show interest in me, but don’t overdo it.

2. Don’t dismiss my unique traits by telling me I’m “cute” or “weird”.

As a female INTJ, I have had a lot of friends who haven’t been super comfortable with my… weirdness. And by weirdness, I mean weird by their standards. I have a friend who always exclaims “you’re so cute!!!” whenever I say something about video games or language nerdery, for example, and it undermines me and my interests. You don’t need to have the same interests as I do, but at least show some respect and maybe try to understand them instead of calling me cute. I understand it can be hard for women to accept me not being the typical girlygirl, because they’ve been taught to be that girl, but please try to see this behaviour and do something about it.

3. Possess a will to learn and develop.

This might seem harsh, but I really have problems with people who “stand still” in life or at least don’t want to actively learn new things or improve themselves. I am constantly looking to develop and improve, so if you want me to not lose interest in you, try not to stay the same boring and immature person for too long. We all have negative traits, but I can’t stand people who go “yes I’m immature/naive/prejudiced/etc but I’m not going to do anything about it”. I don’t want to drag your weight behind me; I want someone I can grow and develop alongside with. The more you can teach me, the more bonus points you will get.

Taking care of your health (as in, seeking help for any mental disorders or such) is also very important. Don’t complain about your problems if you’re not going to do anything about them.

And for the love of everything dear, don’t be narrow-minded!

4. Be independent.

Don’t cling to me. Live your own life and then come back to tell me about all the cool stuff you experienced. Don’t be too naive; I don’t want to have to educate you every time we talk. As I said under #1, don’t worship me (might sound like a weird thing to say but too many people have worshipped me, it’s not fun anymore). You need to be able to give me space, and I will give you space in return. Just… Have a backbone, you know.

Of course, this doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to be dependent on me from time to time. It’s okay to not be strong all the time.

5. Avoid drama and unexpected changes in your behaviour, and be loyal.

… Or I will be out of your life within ten seconds. Really, I don’t have the patience for drama. Tell me if I do something wrong. We can have a conversation about it. We can solve it. But if you’re not at least a little consistent in your behaviour, I will become unsure of our friendship and will most likely fall back.

Also another thing worthy of mention: STAY. LOYAL. It’s okay to grow apart, but ffs, don’t backstab me and don’t suddenly just disappear. I know I can be guilty of disappearing myself sometimes, but I’m working on it. I am actually quite insecure when it comes to friendships, so be straightforward with me. If you just leave me with no explanation, I will be hurt and then I will move on and forget about you before you’ve even realized what happened.

I want us to be comfortable with each other, and we can’t if I’m always scared that you’ll react in a weird and/or unexpected way.

6. Stay a little mysterious/Don’t hurry our friendship.

As an INTJ, I looooove challenges and mysteries. I love to crack people open and find their darkest secrets; learn what makes them tick and how their brains work. Now, I’m not telling you to play “hard to get”, no no, but since I am so thirsty for your thoughts (I will be if I’m interested in you), maybe don’t just lay them all out on the table immediately. It’s hard to say this, because it goes against my innermost wishes - I mean, I want to get to know you NOW NOW NOW - but it’s been shown in my past friendships that such an intense interest tends to blow the relationship up. I go too fast, they go too fast, I get to know everything about them but I haven’t yet started to care enough about them, and so when I feel like I’ve “emptied” them, I lose interest and move on. And they feel let down. They feel betrayed. Of course. I can understand that.

So torture my curiosity. Give me a little of you at a time. Trust me, it will be better in the long run.

7. Possess humor.

Well, I guess this is more about what kind of people I go together well with, but I need to be able to be goofy and silly with you, and we need to be able to joke around without the other person taking it too seriously. At least, if a joke hurts you, then tell me. I will stop. Don’t just ignore me passive-aggressively.

8. Be prepared to solve things and compromise.

Without this, our friendship is doomed from the beginning. There will be problems and fights eventually. One or both of us will get hurt or just don’t like something the other did. WE. NEED. TO. TALK. ABOUT. IT!!! Please. If you’re important to me, I am ready to compromise and do everything in my power to solve any problems that arise between us. If you respect me and care about me, you will do the same.

9. I am an introvert - don’t force me out of my comfort zone.

The headline says it all, really. Never force me to talk to you on the phone or even chat to you if I need to be alone. Never force me to leave my home. And don’t intrude on it, either. I need my safe zone.

10. Don’t be afraid to talk about hard things.

If I trust you, I can discuss almost anything with you. I don’t have any problems discussing hard things like deep feelings, death, sorrow, mental disorders etc.  Actually, those topics are good ways to deepen a bond with someone, so go ahead! Tell me what you feel and think about things.

Also, don’t be afraid to ask me about my feelings. And I don’t mean the standard “how are you”, but more like “how do you feel about this particular thing”. As long as it doesn’t go as far as #1 on this list, you’re good.

6

“The machine’s already talking. You’re too old, older than 40. You can’t hear a sound above 15 kilohertz. But I can… with the ear I’ve got left. My friend’s been beeping morse code at that frequency since you brought your phone in here. She’s been talking to me the whole time, telling me about you. You’re scared of me, even with all these guards watching. By the way, that one has a bum knee. You’re so scared of me that you hid a knife in your pocket. I couldn’t reach it till you got close enough to cut me.”

Oh my god I hope you don’t lose interest in me, because I have shaped my entire self to be someone you’d want.

I put all my energy into you - thinking about you, talking about you, aching for you, hoping you reply.

The chances of this being real are slim, I try and convince myself to leave now before I drown in you. Before I am too hurt.

But your smile reaches your eyes (they look like cocoa powder and honey, and you are so beautiful.

You look at me and I’m soaring,
I love you. I love you. I love you.

(Or do I? Or do I? Or do I?)

I’ve never learned the difference, just that you are what I need.

—  a fave person or genuine love? The struggle with bpd
Bully my cousin at her father's funeral? Eat gravel.

When I was about 6 or 7, my uncle was found dead under gruesome circumstances after being missing for three months. Obviously, my cousin (who is 3 years older than me) was heartbroken at the loss of her father.

After the funeral there was a reception. A friend of my cousin’s family and her shithead son (probably 9 years old, let’s call him “Ben”) were in attendance. Ben, backed by his posse of a few bigger kids, decided it would be a good idea to bully my cousin and my sister while they were outside away from the adults. My cousin and sister asked repeatedly to be left alone but Ben was relentless. I watched from afar.

After eventually losing interest in my cousin, Ben and his group decided to go back to the reception. They ran by me with Ben in the lead. I happened to be standing on a pathway made of new and sharp gravel. As Ben ran by, I stuck my foot out and he left both his feet and landed face first into the rocks. He stood up, started crying, and yelled that I tripped him as the blood from the deep cuts on his face and elbows ruined his white shirt.

The best part? Ben told his mom and nobody believed him. I was a small and quiet kid and nobody thought I could do so much damage–especially to someone older and bigger than me.

Petty Revenge: Internet`s best petty revenge stories are here. | source

As I grow and come more consciously aware of myself and my journey, I'm beginning to lose interest in things that used to capture my attention before. The same things that entice the people around me, bores me. I don't even find the same shit funny anymore. I'm craving substance.

imagine if bitty gets diagnosed w adhd later on and jack starts helping him out

  • jack buying bitty stim toys
  • bitty having a chew necklace and just biting it when he’s fidgety(lord knows how many random objects he’s broken from chewing on)
  • combined type bitty having to deal with impulsivity and the inability to focus
  • jack and bitty working through study methods and jack being a support system for bitty
  • bitty zoning out randomly and panicking from losing track of time
    “i just feel like i’m losing my mind jack”
    “bits- bitty look at me. it’s alright”
  • bitty hyperfocusing on a particular project he’s interested in and doesn’t even notice the boys making a mess all around him
  • jack reminding bitty before every appointment and meeting he has
  • jack writing post it notes with reminders for bitty
  • bitty investing in noise cancelling headphones so he doesn’t lose focus everytime he hears a thump downstairs
  • bitty losing an hour of study time because he was thinking about how to spell volcano and his mind wandered off
  • bitty and jack both catching each other shaking their legs and laughing
  • jack decorating bitty’s pill box so bitty notices it and doesn’t forget
  • bitty setting fifteen alarms on his phone for his meds
  • rambling bitty is already canon, but smh being understanding and not bothering him about it
  • The SMH all being supportive of bitty!
  • feel free to add on, most of these are from my own experiences!
2

08.09.2016 -

I finally started a Bullet Journal! I’m really excited to use it and it’s so much fun (although it took me two hours for writing only four pages ). I actually wanted to start a Bullet Journal already a year ago but I never did because I was afraid that I wouldn’t stick to it and lose interest quickly but now as I created my first pages I’m totally in love with the journal and I can’t wait to fill it with more stuff I need/want to do. I think I will share some of the pages inside from time to time if you are interested.

2

i saw a Single gif of kakashi the other day and was instantly sent back to 2014

When we met you knew how vulnerable and fragile I was because of my past relationships. You were so charming and kind that after a few weeks, I gave in; I let down my guards and gave us a chance. You promised me that you would never hurt me. You always said and did the right things. You made me feel so beautiful, amazing and confident - for the first time in my life - that I thought I found the perfect guy and I couldn’t be luckier to have you. You wanted to move in together after a few weeks and started talking about our future together, planning our trips and talking about how beautiful our kids will be. The fairytale lasted for about 2 months. And then something changed. After you realized that I was in love with you, you slowly started to lose interest. You hurt me a thousand times; you humiliated me in front of our friends, our families. You saw me differently; you began to see my flaws and even though you loved them before, they started to annoy you. You drifted away on purpose and instead of gently breaking up with me, you chose to hurt me til I broke into a million pieces and there wasn’t a single day when I didn’t cry myself to sleep- even when I layed next to you. When I finally wanted to leave you, you were crying in my lap for 2 hours and begged me to stay. So I did. Only to give you the chance to break up with me a few days later like I was nothing.
But it didn’t end there. You were free and out with girls all the time. And when you felt like I was finally doing good on my own, you texted me just to make me feel miserable again.
It took me almost 5 months to finally see who you really are. You’re the worst, literally. And all I want to say is: thank you for leaving. It was the best thing you could do to me. You gave me a chance to find happiness again and maybe one day I’ll find true love, that isn’t just a pretty lie.