jesus christ lots of you are interested in how gay your instrument is
Anonym: I play piano and percussion (mostly mallet percussion). How much gay?
Almost not at all if you’re male. If you’re female then quite likely. If you’re neither then it doesn’t matter you’re already on the gays’ Good Side. Besides if you’re non-conforming then you already don’t conform to these rules sooooo
@a-lexanderhamilton: i play the cello and viola…how gay?
you have very gay potential my friend
Anonym: What about female guitarists?
ah yes see there you’re very different from male guitarists. you are quite likely gay, because who wouldn’t turn lesbian after hearing “oh i can play guitar too! *struggles to play stairway to heaven*” as a flirting technique daily
Anonym: I play flute, piccolo, piano & guitar. How gay?
Well whatever gender you are, some of them are quite gay and some of them mitigate your gay. you probably have no sexuality at all you are in fact 7 sexualities in a trenchcoat
Anonym: Two clarinets and i used to play flute
if male - very
if female - maybe closet bi
if neither - see first answer
Anonym: i’m not sure if you did this yet, but i’m a female flute player. how gay am i?
you want to be gay but secretly you’re not all that turned off by dick
Anonym: piano, clarinet, oboe, violin
@havok-king: I’m writing Periperie on acid influenced by Jefree Star and Gaga (in response to “depends what you’re composing”)
ok you’re fucking screaming gay well done i’m proud have a Millennial Gold Star
Anonym: i play a lot of romantic era stuff
gayer than average
Anonym: how gay is percussion?
male: 1 in 6 is very gay, but knows how to act like a Str8, 5 in 6 are screaming fuckboys
female: probably gay or maybe bi. best friends with the gay male percussionist. they’ve kissed once when they were high but they both found it weird
neither: see first answer
@echo-tortoise: Treble recorder?? How gay?
Anonym: Trombone, piano, and voice. I also dabble in the accordion but I can’t say I actually play. How gay am I?
i’m afraid you are straight af
Anonym: Tenor sax player how gay
male: not at all
female: yes at all
neither: probably ace. or see first question
@djwafflesquare: I play the piano (Chopin and Debussy mostly) how gay am I?
Anonym: *male tenor sax how gay?
Anonym: How about oboe?
Anonym: as a bi trumpeter, I don’t really wanna bang any of the tpts I know…
i can understand you not being attracted to male trumpeters but female trumpeters? really? might have to reconsider your sexuality you’re probably not attracted to females after all jfc
Anonym: cornet? :)
Anonym: I play piano, violin, guitar, and ukulele. I’m a girl and I also compose minimalist piano pieces. how gay?
i was going to say probably not but maybe, until i saw minimalist piano pieces. u gay
Anonym: Piano amount of gay?
again, depends on how much debussy and ravel is played
Anonym: how gay is the clarinet?
quite gay, i like to think
Anonym: Harp amount of gay?
Anonym: Baritone gay?
voice type: no
brass instrument: yes
Anonym: The irony that I play alto sax, clarinet and flute and yet am very gay
Messing Up The Natural Order Of Things
Anonym: Bassoon player of 3 weeks, flautist and classical/jazz guitarist. Gay?
okay you’re getting there
Anonym: female double bass, how gay?
you’re a devout christian or jew at home, but when your parents aren’t home you lick pussy like a lollipop
Anonym: I sing. How much gay
female: less perhaps
neither: see first question
@im-not-rushing: I’m a soprano. How gay?
lyric: straight but hangs around with non-binary people and pretends she belongs
dramatic: scissor with me mummy
Anonym: I agree with the other ask about the violin and cello. I played violin for 5 years and then I switched to ukulele and this is also around the same time I realised I was a lesbian. I second that Gay instrument magic is real.
My Theory Is Working
@xtheravenwarrior: Female alto sax player here, how gay am I?
being in a predominantly male sax section has made you give up on the whole concept of romance or sex
Anonym: Funny story, three of the male tuba players at my university are gay.
you go to a good university
Anonym: I play bass clarinet, alto sax, and clarinet how gay am I?
stop disrupting the order of things. you play a gay instrument a straight instrument and a somewhat gay instrument actually that’s only if you’re male. if you’re not then you’re as gay as the day is long
@imonlyalittelbassoon: I play bassoon and bass. How gay?
Anonym: how gay is the cello?
Anonym: kazoo and bycicle horn how gay?
thanks it’s not like this was wasting my time in general
Anonym: brass instruments most to least gay?
how gay is percussion
Anonym: Harp, am I gay enough
Anonym: I play bass clarinet, trumpet, and trombone. How gay?
the trumpet and trombone counterbalance the bass clarinet and straighten you
Anonym: i play piano, alto sax, and clarinet. how gay??
the power of the alto sax to make oneself straight is so powerful is outweighs the ambiguous piano and the quite gay clarinet
Anonym: Double bass, how gay
male: probably not but possible
female: read up
neither: you’re the shyest (shiest?) person in the orchestra but on saturdays you go out of town and get fucked by everything that fits in whichever hole you have
Anonym: Do you also do voices? How would you rate the gayness of voice types?
dramatic mezzo: no
lyric mezzo: maybe
dramatic alto: probably
lyric alto: yes
alto profundo: likely
jugendlicher heldentenor: yes
lyric tenor: unlikely
charakterbariton: very likely
der rest der baritonen/bässe: no
Anonym: I would like to argue violins are very gay incredibly gay okay okay
i reject your conjecture. if violins were gay then why do ours sound so shit
Anonym: How gay is contrabass?
Anonym: I play clarinet piano and ukulele while learning the alto sax and trumpet. How gay am I?
ok sorry babe you’re straight
Anonym: I play the Eb, Bb, Bass, and contrabass clarinet. How gay?
you got potential
Some kid went up to our band teacher and told her that kids were making
fun of them for joining band because apparently it makes you gay. Funny
enough at least a good portion of the band are gay, and we didn’t
realize until after we joined
1. kill those kids. not joking
2. where’s the fucking problem
Anonym: Jazz trombone gayness level?
Anonym: Bb clarinet, Eb clarinet, bass clarinet, contra-alto clarinet, alto sax, bari sax, soprano sax, flute! Gay?
okay firstly calm down
Anonym: French horn, how gay?
oh yes yum
I’ve seen you say the guitar is not gay at all, but what about the ukulele?
A different anonym: Ukulele: gay?
male: straight. you pretend to be gay so girls will like you
female: ace. you pretend to be gay so guys will leave you alone. it doesn’t work.
neither: ace aro you h8 everyone
Anonym: Female percussionist. How gay?
@the-gayest-tuba: im the pinnacle of gay honestly
well that does my job for me
Anonym: I’m a female guitarist. is that gayer than a male guitarist?
read up (spoiler: yes)
@alto-sax: Alto Saxophone and Flute, How gay am i ?
First impression: no. Second impression: You have a short url on tumblr. You must’ve been here for a while. Yes.
Anonym: How gay is the harp?
read up (spoiler: r u serious)
Anonym: I was about to complain that altogether sax isn’t the straightest, but looking at the rest of my section…. damn. I gotta reform this heterosexual-ass band
Anonym: How gay is the angel harp? Asking for a friend…
Soprano 2 vocalist how gay
Your envy of Soprano 1s is manifesting itself as unrequited love. Having a boyfriend, you are scared of finding yourself to be a lesbian, but eventually you find your soulmate in the alto 1 section.
@sergeiprokofieff (won’t let me tag you what): last yr in youth orch out of a flute and oboe row of 7 only 2 were straight and it was sad but amazing
how is that sad that’s amazing
how gay is the horn?
Anonym: I play flute(female). how gay?
i think i’ve done this
Anonym: French Horn and Flute; How gay?
you’re so gay you have a tattoo of the 2017 calendar of pride events in your continent
Anonym: I play… the recorder. Soprano and Alto. How gay?