this is me being angry at something else so hating me for it

Remember Me | 5

Prompt: When 27 year old Riley Matthews receives a letter in the mail from her 17 year old self she’s reminded of a pact she made with her group of friends on Prom night. Curious to see if any of them will stick to the pact, she heads back home to New York City for the weekend. [Italic paragraphs ~ indicate flashbacks]
Rating: M [no smut but there will be cursing and adult themes, as they are in their late 20′s in this AU, so don’t read if that’s not your cup of tea.]
Pairings: Mentions of Rucas, Smarkle
Previous Chapter: Prologue | One | Two | Three | Four
Word Count: 
Chapter: Five 

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Zay had a plan. Albeit, a potentially risky plan, but a plan nonetheless.

He knew these people pretty well, even if they were all adults now and spent years away from each other. And because he knows them well he knows they need a little help opening up. It was clear that so many things were being unsaid. Not to mention the tension in the air was palpable. Alcohol may not be the smartest choice but one way or another things were coming out.  

He smiles devilishly as he jogs over to the fully stocked bar, grabbing the closest bottle to him and six shot glasses as the other five friends retreat back to the seating area. This wasn’t the first time they played ‘Truth or Shot’ as a group. It was almost a tradition in a sense. They played it on prom night after they wrote their letters, they played it on graduation night and on the last day of summer before they all went their separate ways. Each time they swore it was the last time, the game was a surefire way of getting in trouble but he couldn’t resist the temptation of suggesting it each time.  

Keep reading

the signs feeling intense anger

Every sign can reach the stage when the mind just ‘quits’, no matter how laid back they are. check mars and moon!


Aries: She feels no anger. She feels rage. The intensity, the strong, sometimes short but intense feeling of emotions was something she was familiar with, but what she did hate was the feeling of anger she could mostly never shake off. It was always there with her, she let her rage out and it seemed like an exploding volcano. All she saw was red, there was too much energy flowing inside her bones that she could not get rid off and so she let out her anger, and she did not care who would see her like that. ‘I am fire and you will get burned.’

Taurus: He was angry. Angry with the world, angry with this unsteadiness, angry with the fact, that he could not do anything to stop the current situation. Long, slim hands pulled him out of his nest and threw him hard on the ground. He flinched as a cold breeze came and took away all his warmth. “No, do not take everything away from me!!”, he screamed but the dark did not listen. Gritting his teeth he felt his temper raging, long horns started to grow out of his head and he shook his head, trying to get rid of the feeling of losing himself. 

Gemini: Emotions were an construct. A map with a thousand of points, connected with each other by a small, small string. No there was a knot in the strings, there and there was nothing else he could do to untie them, to clear up this mess in his head. It was like the road for his thoughts was blocked and now everything just piled up. Irritated he shook his head, even communicating was hard and the knot in his head slowly transformed in his whole body. Then his mind just quit. Rash action. 

Cancer: She could not tame herself anymore, she got hotheaded again and knew the will easily fall in an tantrum again. Followed by this feeling of guilt: why me? Why this unfairness? Why the need to upset others and be upset? In the end a wave of intensity and sadness washed her away before she could get a hold of herself again. And getting back to the surface after being pulled down by the ocean would cost her a lot strength. Strength and a long time of swimming through these endless waters. 

Leo: “I do not like this”. It all started with the feeling of unfairness, adding a a little bit of hurt to the shattered self that lay on the ground. “I cannot let them now I am hurt! I will not allow them to touch me gain that deeply.” She opened her mouth and showed her long, sharp fangs. She roared. It was loud and vibrant. Whetting her claws she narrowed her yellow, fiery eyes. “Pray for yourself”, she whispered before sprinting to her prey. 

Virgo: The head was a like a working space. There were many files and papers he read, worked with, analysed, only to put them into a new file that was stored somewhere in his office. “Wh- what is this?” This certain piece of paper  was not like the others. Unreadable. Impossible to put somewhere, therefore it was just out of order. “I..I have the control..”, he said, his hands starting to shake. “I..I have the control over it…I have the control..”, he repeated unsteady before standing up and shredding the unknown paper. He started breathing hysterically, what was that? This brooding fear inside of him? “Control…”, he said one last time before shattering the mirror and flipping his precious work desk. 

Libra: These thoughts. These worries. These fears. She did not know what to do. How was she supposed to handle? “It is their fault!!”, she cried. But at the same time is was her own fault. She cried quietly, feeling like she wanted to let everything out, but couldn’t reveal herself, because everyone next door was sleeping. She did not want to disturb them with the mess of feelings. “I will ignore it. Swallow it.” But it was far too much to keep on pretending. She felt like being on fire, but she still smiled. A poisonous, deadly smile. Everyone should feel her poison sting inside their veins. 

Scorpio: His anger is intense. It’s like a thunderstorm with roaring thunder inside of him. His heart is beating and he wants to destroy, cry and scream. He wants to let out his darkest thoughts, he wants the world to feel his pain, transformed out of the bitterness. But in the end, he remains silent and waits till everyone left. He could hurt anyone right now, but he know it’ll be no good, knowing that he will destroy for sure if he demonstrates his power. So he balls his fists and closes his door. Outside of his bedroom you can her the thunder roaring. 

Sagittarius: ‘Do not stop me’, was all she thought. These feelings were caging her. No matter what she did to distract herself, the anger would haunt her after all, so the minute it became to much she snapped. She could be free spirited and joyous but deep emotions were something completely different, especially anger. Because she was not only the laughter of joy but indeed the stomp of a herd of wild horses swirling up dust as they made their way through the steppe. There was raw force and energy inside of her and that needed to get out, now. 

Capricorn: Get a hold of yourself. Get a hold of yourself. Now. But there was no way to get himself under control. There was this dam inside of his head that stopped this enormous river of feelings of overflowing. Now, there were little cracks in the once so strong concrete and each of them plainly showed the nerves he lost from time to time. He sat at his desk, swallowed and closed his eyes. Suddenly, the dam broke. The raging float of dark water swallowed him completely. 

Aquarius: She saw it often on other people. Anger. She watched them live it out, stomping with their feet, raging, screaming, shouting. Now? She felt it herself. “I know this, this familiar”, she explained to herself. But familiar did not mean good. She knew her temper tantrums for when she was young. She knew that destructiveness could be a part of it. “I do not want that. I will not.” Suddenly a dark, whispering voice talked to her: “You do not choose to be out of touch. You are not your own master.” She widened her eyes anxiously. And suddenly, it was like she was 7 again. 

Pisces: Anger? Anger, he felt it so deeply, anger and the need to cry out of frustration, he did not want to feel it anymore, the worst thing that ate him alive right now. So he grew bitter. “I can turn nasty”, he thought. “I will be the worst if you make me feel this again.” And so he did. So he became the feeling of anger and bitterness himself. As he looked in the mirror he couldn’t recognize himself anymore. Dark, red eyes starred at him, tears flowing. 

The 7 Elements of a SCENE

There are few things as soul-crushing in the writing process (at least to me) than getting a bunch of characters in a room with the intention of something happening, then the characters proceed to stand around and stare at each other.  

Or worse, look at you like this. 

My characters didn’t know why they were there. I didn’t know why they were there either. I had no clue what they were supposed to be doing, so I’d start throwing random instructions at them: “Fight, characters! You guys should fight now! Maybe fighting will make this event have a purpose!” Which inevitably resulted in characters going through the motions of battle for no apparent reason, like they had all lost their minds.

What was the problem? I didn’t know how to write a scene. I didn’t know what a scene was. I had a vague definition that it was something about changing scenery, or just “something happening”.

It’s not. And once I learned what a scene was, my characters got to stop pummeling each other, while wishing they could pummel me. 

So what is a scene? 

The definition of a scene is kind of like the definition of a story. Story is change, a massive change in the life of your main character. A scene is change too, but much smaller, and part of that huge story change. You couldn’t have the BIG change without these tiny changes. Thus, a scene is not switching scenery. It’s not flipping to a new Character’s POV. It’s one segment of change, which triggers the next change, which triggers the next, which gradually build into sequences, which build into Acts, which build into story. 

So what goes into a scene? How does it work?

1. Alternating Charges

If a scene opens positive, it will turn negative by the end. If it opens negative, it will end positive. Simple. 

2. Character Goals

Everybody in a scene wants something. If they don’t want anything, they shouldn’t be in the scene. And these characters, with their often opposing goals, are going to employ different tactics on each other to get what they want. Which creates …

3. Escalating Conflict

Conflict is created when one character wants one thing and another wants something else, right? So the characters in the scene are each pushing for something different, each new tactic increasing in determination. And what are these actions called?  

4. Beats

The beats of a scene are exchanges of action and reaction. One character does something, another character reacts. All exchanges (beats) are pushing the scene onward, building tension and conflict, until finally …

5. Turns & Revelations

The scene turns. The positive has changed to negative. Something has been discovered. The story has spun in a new direction.

6. Connection to Story Objective

Every scene must be connected to the BIG goal of the story, the main character is taking small actions to reach that big goal. If it isn’t obviously connected to this big plot, it won’t make sense. Your reader won’t know why the heck they’re reading the scene. Which brings us to … 

7. Logic & Necessity  

Every scene must be necessary. It must be able to be linked with the previous scene. “Because that happened in the previous scene, THIS must happen in this scene.”

So! To see how that all works, let’s break down a scene from Tangled. (Because I used it in the last post to map out how a premise works, and my little writer heart can’t resist symmetry.)

Which scene? The one right after this happens: 

Opening Charge: Positive. She’s realized everything. 

Rapunzel’s Goal: Rise up against her mother – finally. 

Gothel’s Goal: Regain control.

Escalating Conflict: They’re fighting over who controls Rapunzel, and this battle causes them to go from “mother and daughter” to “enemies”. The conflict builds nicely in this scene, causing the story turn.

Connection to Story Objective: Throughout the movie, the big thing Rapunzel wants is freedom, she wants her life to begin, she wants to have a new dream. This is the moment she figures out how to do that; it’s not escaping the tower, it’s escaping Gothel’s control over her.

So! Here’s the scene.

Beat 1

“Rapunzel? Rapunzel, what’s going on up there?”

Ignores her. Still processing the tremendous implications of this revelation. 

Beat 2

“Are you alright?" 

"I’m the lost princess.” (Dumbfounded. Almost whispering it to herself.)


Beat 3

“Oh, please speak up Rapunzel! You know how I hate the mumbling.” (Bullying.)

“I am the lost princess! Aren’t I?” (Fighting back. She will not be bullied anymore.)

Beat 4

Gothel stares, stunned. She’s rendered temporarily speechless, because her secret’s been revealed finally, and her victim is actually fighting against her.


“Did I mumble, Mother? Or should I even call you that?” (Accusing. Drawing herself up taller. Looking down on Gothel and glaring. She’s seeing her clearly for the first time in her life.)

Beat 5

After a pause, thinking up a tactic. “Oh, Rapunzel, do you even hear yourself? How could you ask such a ridiculous question?” (Laughs. Ridicules. Attempts to make her feel childish, dumb, worthy of being mocked. Tactics which have always worked. She even begins to hug her.)


Rapunzel pushes her. “It was you! It was all you!” (Still accusing and angry, but pain is beginning to show. It’s almost like she’s giving her a chance to explain herself.)


Beat 6

“Everything I did was to protect you.” (And Gothel doesn’t say anything redeeming. She’s holier than thou, regal, bestowing kindness on an ungrateful, stupid child. Trying to control through guilt.)

Rapunzel rams her out of the way. 

Beat 7

“Rapunzel!” (Shouting. Now trying anger.)

“I’ve spent my entire life hiding from people who would use me for my power …” (Leaves her.)

Beat 8

"Rapunzel!” (Still trying the anger angle.)

“But I should have been hiding from you.” (Throwing the truth at her.)

Beat 9

“Where will you go? He won’t be there for you.” (She’s tried everything else. It’s time to attack her heart.)

“What did you do to him?” (Fear)

Beat 10

“That criminal is to be hanged for his crimes.” (She’s keeping up the disapproving mother act, but striking her right where it will hurt her most.)

“No.” (She’s stopped. Shrinking in on herself. Staring, horrified. And Gothel thinks she’s won.)

Beat 11

“Now, now.  It’s alright. Listen to me. All of this is as it should be.” She goes to pat Rapunzel’s head, a gesture symbolic of her superiority, her physical, mental, and emotional control over her victim.


Rapunzel grabs Gothel’s wrist. “No! You were wrong about the world. And you were wrong about me! And I will never let you use my hair again!" 

Beat 12

Gothel wrenches free, stumbling backwards in shock and anger, breaking the mirror in the process. 

Rapunzel walks away. She’s escaped Gothel emotionally now.

Beat 13

"You want me to be the bad guy? Fine. Now I’m the bad guy.” (Well, now emotional control is over. It’s time to start stabbing Rapunzel’s boyfriend.)

This action has no reaction, interestingly. It leaves us hanging, a cliffhanger created with only beats. 

Closing Charge: Negative. She’s now a full-fledged villain, the motherly persona shed, and she’s determined to get what she wants whatever the cost. 

Turn: It changed from positive to negative,  and now we’ve got a Flynn-stabbing witch to deal with.  

Revelation: She’s always been evil. She has always been the bad guy. The motherly act was just that, an act. 

Logic & Necessity: This scene fits with the previous scene, and the one that follows.     

Though I’ve seen these concepts in many books, the place I first learned about it (and the best resource for scene design in my opinion) is the book Story by Robert McKee. It’s helped me countless times, is one of my favorite books on storytelling, and I highly recommend it if you write anything.

I realize that these definitions were a little vague, so I’ll be explaining things more thoroughly in subsequent posts. 

100 Ways to Say ‘I Hate You’

I saw a post about 100 ways to say ‘I love you’, so I thought I’d make the anti-version if it doesn’t exist already. Roleplayers, send these to each other for angst reasons! Tw for emotional abuse, language, and some major rejection themes, though some  them are joking and could be used for friendly rivals or pals who play-insult one another. Change or add pronouns as necessary.

  1. “You’re a disappointment to me.”
  2. “I don’t care if you live or die.”
  3. “I used to care about you. Now? I regret every second I wasted.”
  4. “How do you think I feel? I’m pissed off!”
  5. “Go. Just go.”
  6. “If you come back, I won’t be here.”
  7. “I’ve never despised someone as much as I despise you.”
  8. “Ha! You think I care about you? What do you think I am, desperate?”
  9. “I regret ever saying ‘hello’.”
  10. “Leave and don’t come back, ever.”
  11. “Remember when we first met? I wish I didn’t.”
  12. “You’re the worst mistake I’ve ever made.”
  13. “Don’t touch me. Don’t even look at me.” “You took months/years of my life away. I’ll never get those back.”
  14. “I saw a trash bag on the side of the road today. Reminded me of you.”
  15. “I could have been doing so much better than wasting my time with you.”
  16. “You’re a sick bastard, you know that?”
  17. “I don’t care.”
  18. “Go ahead, leave. Don’t worry about coming back.”
  19. “You’re such a piece of shit.”
  20. “I didn’t think you could be any more of a shithead, but you just proved me wrong.”
  21. “You’re so stupid.”
  22. “Why do I waste my time with you?”
  23. “You’re not the person I thought you were.”
  24. “Hey! Just a daily reminder: you’re a piece of shit!”
  25. “I deserve so much better.”
  26. “We’re not friends. We were never friends!”
  27. “I pretended to like you because I felt bad for you! How did you fall for that?”
  28. “I never want to see you again.”
  29. “You’ve done nothing but make my life a living hell.”
  30. “Don’t apologize - you don’t deserve my forgiveness!”
  31. “No, I’m never giving you another chance!”
  32. “I wish you were never born.”
  33. “You’re the last person I wanted to see right now.”
  34. “I’d rather be working with anyone else in the whole world right now.”
  35. “When you get back, your shit’s gonna be on the front lawn. Take it and get out.”
  36. “Go ahead, choose them! You deserve each other.”
  37. “I don’t know what they see in you.”
  38. “You’re an embarrassment to me.”
  39. “You’re an embarrassment to all of us.”
  40. “I wish it was you. I wish it was you to die instead of them.”
  41. “God, why did I have to end up working with the biggest asshole in the world?”
  42. “How could you think I ever loved you? You seriously think I’d sink that low?”
  43. “Sorry, I just puked in my mouth a bit. I accidentally looked at your face.”
  44. “How can you even live with yourself?”
  45. “If I was your mirror, I’d break myself just so you would throw me in the trash and I wouldn’t have to look at you.”
  46. “Being with you was the worst time of my life.”
  47. “You’re a monster.”
  48. “Not a day goes by that I don’t wake up wishing I was dead because of you.”
  49. “I’m going to ruin your fucking life.”
  50. “You said you would change, but you never did! You never will!”
  51. “Some people are just born to fail. Sorry you’re one of the unlucky ones.”
  52. “You’re so worthless, you hardly even exist to me.”
  53. “I wish I could go back to the day I met you, and just walk away.”
  54. “If you give me that look one more time, I’m skipping jump-rope with your large intestines.”
  55. “Honestly, I’m embarrassed to even know you.”
  56. “Ugh, it smells like something died in here. Oh. It’s just you.”
  57. “You need to stop. You hurt everyone around you!”
  58. “Until you get your shit together, I don’t want to hear you complain.”
  59. “Look at you. You’re disgusting.”
  60. “Stop making me look bad.”
  61. “You have a face that makes me wish punching people wasn’t frowned upon in our society.”
  62. “Shut your mouth. I don’t want to hear your obnoxious voice.”
  63. “Go play in traffic.”
  64. “Fuck off.”
  65. “If I saw you in the ocean clinging to a log for safety, I’d save the log and let you drown. At least wood can become something useful, like toilet paper.”
  66. “How could I ever love something as terrible and hideous as you?”
  67. “I can’t even look at you right now.”
  68. “It was all a lie.”
  69. “I never loved you, and I never will.”
  70. “Don’t try to beg. It won’t work.”
  71. “You’re not worth the mud on the bottom of my shoes.”
  72. “Look at you. You’re pathetic. I’ve never seen a sadder sight.”
  73. “I’m going to hurt you slowly, and I’m going to enjoy every second of it.”
  74. “For what you did to them, I’ll do the same to you.”
  75. “An apology? You want to offer an apology? No. I don’t accept it.”
  76. “You’re everything I hate in a person.”
  77. “I wish you were dead.”
  78. “You’re nothing to me. Less than nothing!”
  79. “What a sad sack of shit you are.”
  80. “My life is in fucking shambles thanks to you!”
  81. “How could you? You bastard!”
  82. “I’d rather eat sewage than ever touch you again.”
  83. “Hey asshole, I’m here to ruin your day, just like I did yesterday and the day before that.”
  84. “You’d be more useful if you weren’t even alive.”
  85. “Hey, it’s my least favorite waste of space.”
  86. “Every day that I woke up next to you, I was tempted to smother you with a pillow while you slept.”
  87. “Love you? Don’t make me laugh.”
  88. “Just thinking about you makes me sick to my stomach.”
  89. “You deserve a slow and painful death for what you’ve done.”
  90. “I can’t stand people like you.”
  91. “Stop doing that thing. You know, that thing I hate. Breathing.”
  92. “If I could trade you for a nest of angry wasps, you would be long gone.”
  93. “I can’t wait to dance on your grave.”
  94. “If we were the last two people on earth, I’d be subtracting one.”
  95. “I never want to see the likes of your filth around here again.”
  96. “I’m disgusted by you.”
  97. “Fuck you!”
  98. “If I ever see you again, it will be far too soon.”
  99. “I have three words for you: Burn. In. Hell.”
  100. “I hate you.”

I have some opinions/thoughts that I’d really love to get off my chest even if other people think I’m completely wrong.

Gaston did not deserve to die, Gaston was hardly a bad person, Gaston was basically forced into being the villian of this story.

[I’m referring to the 2017 remake of BATB rather than the original animation.]

Let’s point out some difference between the 1991 Gaston and 2017 Gaston
-2017 Gaston was not a misogynist
-did not abuse Lefou
-even verbally
-Like for fucksakes, the friendship between Lefou and Gaston was so genuine. I’m frequently seeing these things around Gafou is an abusive ship, buts it’s really not? He tells Lefou ‘thank you’ says ‘you’re the best Lefou’ sincerely asks ‘how has no woman snatched you up?’, messes around with Lefou like buds (wrestling bite marks, picking him up to demonstrate strength, gets on the table and dances with him), let’s Lefou calm him down and boop his nose, and not once does he insult or hurt even when it seemed like he would (after Lefou wrapped his arms around him, or when he couldn’t spell his name, when he said ‘who needs her when you’ve got us’, etc). They’re sincerely good, close friends, but don’t worry I’m not ignoring all the shitty things Gaston did to Lefou I will get to that in a second.
-I said he’s not a misogynist, right? Cause that’s important. Big step away from the OG.
-Doesn’t insult Belle for reading
-Instead he feigns interest in the book because he knows it’s her interest
-even brings her flowers, whataguy
-Has manners (“excuse me, please let me through” going through the crowd, didn’t push everyone out of his way)
-Goes to her rescue when the town’s people are being mean (sure this is because he wanted to be the hero to seduce her, but seriously he was one of the few people who didn’t harass or bully Belle for being different)
-Doesn’t call Maurice crazy and instead offers his help to soothe the men (again, seduction, but seriously he’s still being polite and helping the underdog unlike the OG)

I’ll probably think of more things to add to this Gaston-wasnt-an-asshole list but I think this basically gets the point across that, well, Gaston wasn’t an asshole. He was immensely vain, yes, but that doesn’t mean he was a bad person.
Cus ya know who else started out incredibly vain but still managed to be the fucking prince in this story?
Yep, the Beast/Adam of course.

Time to do some comparing of the prince and the villian because spoiler alert, they basically parallel each other.

I’ll begin this part with Belle’s comment of, “No one can change THAT much, Gaston”
Ahem

LITERALLY SHUT THE FUCK UP ARE YOU SERIOUS
This line pissed me off immensely, because that’s literally Adam’s entire character arc, changing himself completely, literally and figuratively.

Like I’m sorry you wanna do a repeat of the song “Something there” aka the song where the lyrics are basically “he was an asshole brute who I hated but now he’s c h a n g e d”
Literally so pissed off at that all.

But as I was saying, Gaston basically mirrors Adam’s arc, meaning to say they’re practically the same character things going on but sorta reversed.

Like okay
-Upon first meeting Belle, the Beast locks her father then her in a tower and is a huge dick but then they bond over books and he gives her flowers and he’s nice to her.
-Upon first interacting with Belle, Gaston is nice to her, gives her flowers, tries to bond over books, but then he’s a huge dick and locks her father and then her in a cart.

Do you see what I did there? Literally the same actions, but backwards.

Let’s do some more comparing.
-They both have terrible, terrible tempers.
But you know what? The Beasts is definitely a lot worse than Gaston’s.

Let’s review how both Gaston and Adam dealt with Belle’s dinner rejection
-Beast: literally motherfucking demands she has dinner with him, bangs his paws on the door, scrEAMS at her, and then announces she can starve if she won’t eat with him
-Gaston: [not direct quotes, can’t remember exact words but basically what he says] “oh, busy?” nope “okay, then some other time?” boom that’s that. Yeah he still is persistent on winning her over even after this rejection but the man handled it a lot better then Adam (and he brought flowers for her dinner table).

I’m about to move on from Adam and start talking about how Gaston treated Lefou in a sec, but I would just really really really like to put some emphasis on the fact that both Adam and Gaston were incredibly narcissistic men. The amount of self pride and conceded they have is in the beginning is completely parallel and it leads to both of their unfortunate fates. The point in this, is Gaston is not a bad guy just because he loves himself a bit much, just as the Beast was not a bad guy for loving himself too much. Like, the way Adam turns down Agatha for being ugly seems exactly like something Gaston would do, so why does the movie end with Gaston dying while the Beast learns his lesson and gets his happily ever after?
Because, the OG Gaston was truly an asshole who deserved to die and this 2017 remake of course had to stay true to the story. Even though this Gaston really wasn’t a true villian and didn’t deserve to die – rather he deserves a redemption arc just as Adam was given – he died anyway because that’s how the story goes.

Anyway, I’ll get on with this and bring back Lefou.

Some of you have probably been reading this while thinking “But Marley [das my name], Gaston was a shitty person, he wasn’t a good friend to Lefou at all because he manipulated him, let him get punched in the face, didn’t protect him at all, and threatened to lock him up. Plus, he was only into Belle because she’s pretty.”

Alright alright alright: Lefou.
He’s an exceedingly important character as he gives us insight to Gaston’s character.
Two crucial things he reveals about Gaston … .

-Gaston has anger issues. My father has anger issues, and so do I, and we both are on meds for it. Let me say, having anger management problems and getting angry are very different things. It’s just like he having anxiety and getting nervous are very different things. I think most of you can probably relate or understand anxiety more then anger issues, so just put yourself in Gaston’s shoes with that in mind. Anyway, back to Lefou. He shows us that Gaston has anger issues when he rushes to Gaston’s aid by saying “deep breathes” and then “think about the war”. He tells us that Gaston has coping mechanisms for when he gets like this. Does it matter if Gaston has anger problems? Does it make him less of a dick? Like, seriously Marley, does this information really make up for any of the things he did? Yes, yes it does matter. It’s like when you/someone your love is having an anxiety attack, or when you fall into a depressive episode, or when a loved one acts out of PTSD [which Gaston could totally completely have], or when someone with schizophrenia or delusions starts having episodes, it’s basically exactly like whenever anyone’s mental illness starts to act up. You don’t feel like yourself and you don’t so things you would normally​ do. This is definitely the case for Gaston; he acts out of character when he gets angry like this. And that’s my second point that Lefou proves in this movie.

-Gaston is not being himself when he starts doing all that terrible shit that leads him to his demise. Lefou makes it fairly obvious that that is not how Gaston usually acts. He does this in numerous ways which I will quickly try to summarize and go through:
1) Questions Gaston. Obviously if Gaston often tied up old men to trees or in general left people to die, Lefou would have just went with it instead of going “are you sure?”
2) doesn’t immediately lie to save Gaston’s ass. Again, if Gaston frequently had Lefou lie for him, then it would have came to Lefou like second nature and he wouldn’t have hesitated.
3) Once more, questioning Gaston. The scene I’m about to refer to is when Gaston locks Belle and her father in the carriage. Lefou grabs Gaston’s arm and goes to question him again, but before he can Gaston threatens to lock him up as well. Dick move on Gastons end, no? But this isn’t something he would normally do or say to Lefou, for if it was Lefou wouldn’t have bothered speaking up because he would have known what Gaston’s reaction would be. Instead, Lefou is used to being able to talk sense into Gaston and reason with him (refer back to nose boop scene).
4) Running to Gaston’s side for protection during the fight [castle scene]. Lefou is probably used to having Gaston protect him during fights (war time) and obviously didn’t expect Gaston to throw him to the enemy. Like, yous guys heard him shriek Gaston’s name before the piano fell on him, right? He was obviously expecting Gaston to rescue him. Even after he’s trapped under the piano, he still reaches and calls out for Gaston. The way Gaston is acting is not the Gaston he knows.
5?) “I was on Gaston’s side, but we are so in a bad place right now” [however he says it you know the line I’m referring to]. Aight I think this is the one line that really captures the point I’m trying to make. Lefou has switched sides because Gaston is being a major douchebag and Lefou’s not having it. Lefou doesn’t put up with being treated like shit [MrsPotts saying he deserves better and Lefou agreeing]. So o b v i o u s l y Lefou is not used to Gaston being so cruel and angry. If Gaston treated Lefou like this all the time, then Lefou wouldn’t be by his side [because he left his side once he started acting like this]. Lefou knows how he should be treated, and how he’s being treated is not what he’s used to.
You dig what I’m saying? I’m kinda rushing through these points because I’m getting tired of this.

*deep breathe* Alright, last point, as I mentioned above, ‘Gaston only wanted Belle because she was beautiful’ Alright alright alright I’m not even going to talk about the Gaston in this point, I’m just going to talk about the huge flaw that is Beauty and the Beast.

Adam is turned into the Beast because he needs to learn to not judge people by how they look, he needs to learn that it’s what’s on the inside that matters.
Right.
So why is Belle the one that learns this lesson?
Adam falls in love with a gorgeous girl, meanwhile Belle falls in love with a hideous monster who turns into a nice dude on the inside.
Belle is the character who learned to not judge a book by its cover [cover being a monsterous beast but inside he is a gorgeous prince].
As soon as Belle walked into the castle, all the furniture was like “yooooo she could be the one, master hit her up” and instantly Adam’s like “well I need a girl to fall in love with to break my curse and she cute yeah let’s do it”. Like of course there’s more to our then this, but what I’m trying to say is Adam had already planned to try to charm Belle before he knew what kind of person he was because he was desperate to break the curse.
So he and everyone in the castle just saw her and was like “she was a girl, he was a boy, can I make it anymore obvious?”
So anyway anyway anyway, Gaston was only interested in Belle because she was beautiful and he wanted a wife, but Beast was only interested in Belle because she was beautiful and could break the spell. See the parallels again? Like, Beast later fell in love with Belle for who she was and she made him a better person, Gaston could have totally done the same thing.
And okay, there’s no proof Beast cared that Belle was beautiful or not, but yo, Disney definitely should have made Belle ugly af so when Adam met her the snob in him would have been “ew she’s ugly, next” and then Lumiere and Mrs. Potts woulda been like “boi Imma whoop yo ass if you don’t give that girl a try, I don’t care how fucked up her teeth are smfh” and then Adam would have learned the lesson that the enchantress was trying to school him about in the first place [this applies to the 1991 animated film, not directly at the 2017 btw]

Well I was trying to keep this professional and moreso eloquently written but you can tell I’m coming out of my cage and I’ve been doing just fine gotta gotta be down because I want it all

Okay okay okay
Okay okay
Okay

I believe we’re nearing the end. I believe I’ve said all I needed to say made all the points I could [honestly definitely not because I’m constantly thinking about this and arguing with no one in my head, I have a lot to say and later I’ll be making toast and be like “anD ONE MORE THING”]

I’m very upset Gaston died because he wasn’t a terrible enough character to deserve death.

So Dear Disney, either make Gaston more of a shitty person, or bring him back to life. I’ll be waiting for an apology letter until this is done.

Of course I’m kidding.

I just have such a love and passion for Gaston and I’m truly sick of hearing people tell me that Gafou is an abusive ship and Gaston is a villian.

And if you refuse to see that Gaston wasn’t a bad guy but still believe that Adam is such a prince than you’re insanely hypocritical.

People just see what they want to see.

Also I’m terribly sorry for making this so diddly damn long, I honestly have no idea how to do the cutoff “Show more” thing, I’m on mobile. So sorry if you’re trying to rapidly scroll past all of this and it’s taking forever.

But honestly fuck you don’t scroll past my argument.

And also if you legit read all this then motherfucking congratulations to you. Like I don’t even want to read all of this shit to edit it.

Thanks for the attention. Marley OUTT
Not All Men

“Not all men are rapists,” my Dad would grunt as he scrolled through his friends’ Facebook profiles and read the articles about sexual assault they’d posted.

“Not all men are abusive,” my Dad would mutter as he did research to disprove the domestic violence statistics that bothered him so much.

“Not all men are like him,” I’d mouth to myself, as Dad threw Mom across the room for having the temerity to contradict something he’d said.

After hurting her one night, he came to my room a few hours later. “You’re a sweet boy,” he told me. “I know you’d never harm a woman, no matter how much she deserved it. Not all men are like me. You don’t have a temper.”

I did have a temper, though. And I seethed.

Years later, I left for college an angry, confused young man.

I started off as a good student, but things began to decline as news from home trickled into my inbox. “Mom had to get stitches,” my sister wrote one day. “I’m off to the dentist to have a tooth capped!,” Mom wrote another time, leaving out all context about why. I knew.

I started drinking. My grades slipped. Depression spiraled, and while my rage remained internalized, I knew things were getting bad. I resented the women who turned down my advances. I’d say things about them behind their back - terrible, unforgivable things. My loneliness and isolation worsened. I sought out violent, misogynistic pornography. I hated myself for enjoying it as much as I did. I couldn’t help but wonder if that was what turned my father on, too.

At the end of the semester, I was looking forward to Christmas. I’d hoped the break from school would help ease the tension I felt. I wanted to be home with my family. I knew I’d be going back to the source of all my problems, but I didn’t care. Familiarity was preferable to being alone.

It turned out things had only gotten worse. Without me there, my father was out of control. Somehow my presence had been a kind of mediator without my knowing it. In some ways, he hadn’t wanted to disappoint me, his only son, by acting like how he truly wanted to when I had been living at home.

There were no brakes on that ride anymore.

Dad drank more than ever. Raged more than ever. And it seemed almost like second nature for him to push my mother or my sister out of his way with little regard for the force he used or where they’d end up as a result.
At Christmas dinner, we were gathered around the table. The family seemed to be in a decent enough mood after a day of Dad being on his best behavior. They were using the opportunity to enjoy the day. They were laughing and joking and celebrating. I couldn’t, though. I was overwhelmed by the stress. Stress from school. Stress from loneliness. Stress from my family. For the first time in my life, I felt like I might be losing control.

I did my best to put on a facade of good humor. I smiled and faked my way through dinner and most of dessert. Then my sister said something that I couldn’t laugh off. Something that stuck with me.

“I heard your ex Kayla is with Kevin Davis now. Talk about an upgrade, right?” She, and everyone else, laughed.

In any other situation, I would’ve laughed too. Kevin Davis was gorgeous. I had no residual feelings for Kayla, and I should have been happy that she’d gotten with such a good-looking guy. But all my feelings of rejection from the past few months bubbled to the surface. I started to breathe heavily. The room spun. Years of constant stress and anger and fear condensed in a wave, and everything went white.

Seconds later, when my vision returned, my mother was screaming. Dad had backed away from the table and was staring at me with fear and bewilderment. I looked at my sister. The remains of my sister. Half her head had been sheared away. Brain matter oozed onto the table and mixed with her plate of Christmas cookies.

Mom was hysterical and had rushed to my sister’s side. She was trying, with no success, to push the brain back into her daughter’s skull.

I felt hollow. Confused. The whole thing was so surreal that part of me thought I was in a nightmare. But then my father started to speak. Reality rushed in with a sickening jolt.

“You have a gift, Frank,” he told me. He spoke slowly. Methodically. I realized he was frightened. I’d never seen him like that.

“I didn’t know you had it,” he continued. I don’t. But your great grandfather did.” He paused. “Not all men can do that,” Dad whispered. “Not all men are like you.”

“Not all men.” The words swirled in my head and I thought back to every time he’d uttered those words. I felt nauseous. I flashed back to him sitting on the side of my bed, knuckles bruised from hitting my mother, saying that not all men were as horrible as he was. Yet here I was. Even worse. I closed my eyes and everything went white again. I felt a warm spray hitting my face. In the distance, there was another shriek from my mother.

I opened my eyes. My father had disappeared. The room was dripping with his blood. Steaming entrails stuck from the ceiling and, piece by piece, fell onto the table and saturated carpet.

Mom was huddled in the corner, sobbing. I got up from the table and she shrank back, muttering “get away from me” over and over and over between ragged breaths.

I surveyed the carnage. Then I left and never looked back. I’ve been on the run ever since. All day, every day, I hear my father’s voice echoing in my mind. “Not all men are like this,” and “not all men are like you.” I had believed him. Now, no matter where I go, when I see mens’ faces, I can’t help but wonder.

on passive homophobia

there’s this post that i just saw, where the OP said that she does not condone same-sex ships because they’re sinful in her eyes. She was all “don’t hate me, pls, i mean no harm.”

and here’s the thing- i believe people when they say that they mean no harm when they say “love the sinner, hate the sin.” i grew up in an evangelical catholic household, but i also grew up with a sister who identifies as part of the LGBT community. when i was a kid, i also used to believe the whole “love the sinner, hate the sin” but over time, i realized how hurtful and just plain wrong that belief is. i realized how that belief still leads LGBT people to feel shame and self-hatred, how it alienates and destroys self-worth. Like… being gay is not the same as adultery and murder. It’s part of someone’s identity– how can you tell people to hate something that is part of their identity? 

i know the point many christians are trying to make is that Jesus takes away that shame and hurt bc he carries it for you, but day to day, it still is so hard to overcome. it’s hard to feel like you can’t be yourself, like you have to constantly reject your heart, your thoughts, your identity- even though no one else around you has to. it hit me when one my good friends told me, “I am gay, and I have accepted that I will always be a bachelor, because of what God wants.” My heart broke, because it felt wrong— if you fall in love with someone, you have to throw that away because loving someone who this religion says you shouldn’t is WRONG? 

I’m sorry, but the God I know- the God who saved my life- is a God who makes no mistakes. It’s a God who loves unconditionally, a God of endless complexity. 

and honestly, my sister has recently come to accept that she is not quite as straight as she tried to be for much of her life, and she’s now in a healthy happy relationship with a woman, and she is honestly the happiest i’ve ever seen her. it was such a point of inner dilemma for her, and it literally made her feel so depressed and angry at herself for years

anyway. i don’t usually talk about this stuff, because I’m never sure when it’s okay to speak up as someone who doesn’t identify as LGBT, but I do identify somewhat loosely as Christian, and many people I love are LGBT, and when I see someone using Christianity to peddle off passive homophobia, I feel like I need to speak up. 

TL:DR: even if you mean no harm when you say ‘hate the sin, love the sinner,’ you’re still causing worlds of harm. and when people tell you that your beliefs are harming them, it’s not good enough to say ‘i didn’t mean any harm.’ please listen to them. 

A Handful of Questions to Ask Yourself While Creating a Character

Compelling characters make compelling stories. Here’s a bunch of questions you can ask yourself while developing a character. 

1) What does your character want from life? What is their motivation? What drives them? Most people want things - it could be as small as wanting a sandwich, or something huge like wanting to change the world. Does your character want something? Does your character dream? What about? And if they don’t, why don’t they? 

2) Is your character shy? Outgoing? Insecure? Proud? Why are they the way they are? My favourite example of this question answered well is Ron Weasley from Harry Potter. He’s insecure because he doesn’t come from a wealthy family, has a bunch of older brothers who are all amazing in some form or way, his mother always wanted a daughter, Ginny, and so he doesn’t feel as wanted. Also, one of his best friends is the Chosen One, and the other is the brightest witch of her age - a cocktail that would make anyone doubt themselves. 

3) What kind of clothes does your character wear? Why? The way you dress says a lot about who you are. For instance, If a character wears designer clothes and the latest fashions, it shows that they have the means to keep up with the trends. However if they wear a medley of things bought second-hand, or buy cheap stuff from supermarkets, they might not have the money to spare on outfits, or maybe they just don’t care about fashion.

4) How does your character speak?  Speech patterns have origins. An accent, language, a dialect, all signify geography, social class, personality. It could be as simple as cussing too much. But be sure you know why your character speaks the way they do. And if it’s not a speech pattern you’re familiar with, do your research!

5) Likes and dislikes I sometimes give characters specific likes (”I like tomatoes”) or specific dislikes (”I dislike eggs”), simply because it humanises them. You don’t have to do this, or be as specific as that, if it doesn’t serve your story. But it’s definitely something you can consider. Everyone has those little things they love and hate, and you can go places with them. (”I hate eggs because my childhood bully threw an egg at me and scarred me for life.”) Be creative and have fun with it.

6) Who does your character love? Romantic attraction isn’t necessary to create a wholesome character. Nevertheless, if they are in love with someone, be sure to understand why they love someone. Love is at its best, a complicated emotion difficult to break down, but a relationship has to be believable. As a reader, I need to be able to look at a couple and think, yeah, I can see what their love is built on. 

7) What would their favourite songs be? This is not so much a question as it is a trick I use to get a better feel for who my character is. No matter what time period your story is set in, you can use this to understand your character better. Take your playlist and pick what songs they would enjoy. It says a lot about who they are. For instance, one of my characters would enjoy Western classical music and nothing else. Another character listens to the worst kind of pop and loves it. 

8) How does your character react under stress? Can they cope with it? Do they get tense? Angry? Teary? Why? Why not? How a person deals with stress is a vital part of their personality. Decisions taken under stress can be the worst you’ve ever made, or (depending on how you handle stress), can be effective solutions to problems. The way a person reacts to stress often has a lot to do with their background and upbringing. Example (this is a generalisation, of course): someone who comes from a difficult family background may have more extreme reactions to stress than someone who is well-adjusted and comes from a happy family. 

9) What does your character do when they’re alone? You’re often a different person alone than when you are with other people. The pretences and false faces come away, and all the little thoughts you usually ignore now have time to play in the open. Who is your character when they’re alone? What do they do? What do they think about? Why do they think about/do things in that way?

10) Where does your character fail? Characters must have flaws to be compelling. Nobody is perfect, and your character shouldn’t be either. Whether its insecurity or anger, or a lack of initiative, or smaller things like not being a good artist, or not being the best at sports–we all have personal failings and we all have things we aren’t good at. Consider: where does your character mess up? 

I hope this helps! Remember to have fun. Developing characters can be the most exciting thing. Keep an open mind while working. Happy writing! 

dating peter parker...

let me know if you liked this it’s tragically long i went overboard haha

  • first and foremost, peter would be the most loving/attentive/caring and overall best boyfriend to ever exist, ever 
  • he’s also a needy baby who likes attention 
    • “Y/N”
    • “Yes, Peter?”
    • “You haven’t kissed me in, like, five whole minutes” 
  • majority of the time you make peter very flustered so you’re usually the one to initiate the kisses because he’s a blushing mess 
  • he thinks you’re the most gorgeous person to ever walk the earth
  • he cannot believe you’re as in love with him as he is with you
    • “How’d I get so lucky”
    • “Peter stop it it’s not like I’m a magical princess I’m normal stoppp” 
    • “But are you sure about that”
  • he will adamantly deny that he likes staring at you but that’s all he does when you’re with him
  • he prefers to call it gazing because it sounds less creepy and the last thing he wants is for you to think he’s a creep
  • he likes to tease you about the fact that you had a crush on him for most of your freshman year and it annoys you endlessly 
    • “That’s so cute Y/N how adorable”
    • “I will literally break up with you right now”
    • “What no no I’m sorry I love you don’t do that” 
  • the first time he told you that he loved you he stuttered for a solid ten minutes, almost cried because c’mon Peter just tell her you love her you idiot she’s gonna hate you if you keep stumbling over your words like a madman oh my god you haven’t said anything in five minutes no one has ever been silent this long
  • finally he closed his eyes and choked out the words and when he opened his eyes he swore that he had never seen anything as beautiful as the way you were smiling at him in that very moment 
  • after that he has no problem saying it to you whenever he can no matter where you are or what you’re doing
    • “Mr. Parker can you please share what you were just whispering to Ms. Y/L/N with the rest of the class?” 
    • “Oh yeah I was just telling her that I love her because I do and I need to make sure that she doesn’t forget” *cue adorable smile*
    • Oh my god Peter please be quiet I love you too you weirdo” 
  • he kind of lives for embarrassing for you, he thinks it’s the funniest thing 
  • you love Ned too and it kind of makes Peter jealous sometimes which is just hilarious to witness
    • “You’re spending an awful lot of time with Ned” 
    • “…………..I spend every waking moment with you and Ned hangs out with us dummy” 
    • “Just checking”
  • you’re the only person he tells about being Spider-Man because you’re you and he can’t keep something like that from the love of his life that’s just not how it works
  • when he sends Happy voicemails every day he makes sure to update him on how you’re doing and whatever thing you do that day that Peter found adorable
  • when Happy finally texts Peter back he doesn’t ask Peter how he’s doing he asks about you 
  • Peter introduces you to Tony with a proud smile on his face as he practically shoves you at him 
    • “Mr. Stark Mr. Stark Mr. Stark this is my girlfriend the one Happy told you about I wanted her to meet you isn’t she cool Mr. Stark”
    • “As long as she’s not as hyper as you are I think I’ll like her very much”
    • “Oh great ‘cause she’s very calm right Y/N?”
    • “Peter babe please stop yelling in my ear” 
    • “I like her already!”
  • he’s very big on calling you my love because it makes you get all shy and you turn away from him since you’re getting embarrassed
  • he proudly talks about you to anyone within earshot and everyone comes to love you because adorable, precious Peter Parker does too
  • Aunt May might love you more than Peter does 
  • sometimes Peter will come home to find you already sitting at the table with her sipping coffee out of his favorite mug and talking about your days and he just lights up with happiness 
  • you yell at him every time he loses yet another backpack 
    • “when will you learn your lesson about webbing your bag to the wall in dark alleys where thieves and probably murders hang out”
    • “that’d be a never” 
  • you kind of hate that he’s Spider-Man since the job is extremely dangerous and he literally almost died fighting Vulture
    • “are you sure you’re okay? i don’t want you dying on me”
    • “i would never leave you my love i promise” 
  • you yell at him whenever he comes back to his house with new bruises and injuries but he knows you’re just yelling because you care and so he takes the yelling and the angry crying from you and hugs you really tight and strokes your hair and tells you that he’s fine and it’s just a scratch and gives you the whole you should see the other guy spiel 
  • he draws engagement rings on your ring finger and swears he’ll make sure it’s a real one day and not just a shitty circle drawing because yeah he’s fifteen and so are you but who cares you’re the one for him and living without you is a life he doesn’t want to even imagine 
  • it’s just not an option and never will be
  • he gets anxiety whenever you have to ride the train out of Queens and back into Manhattan alone since that’s where you live
    • “but what if something happens and i’m not there and you get hurt i wouldn’t be able to live with myself”
  • he goes through metro cards like water in the summer when he doesn’t have his student one because he refuses to let you take the train alone 
  • he never lets go of your hand when you’re together… so basically he’s never once stopped holding hands with you unless absolutely necessary
  • you telling him to ask Tony to let you become an avenger
  • you want to be Black Widow 2.0 
  • or maybe Scarlet Witch but you don’t have powers like Wanda does so Black Widow 2.0
  • Tony actually says he’ll think about it because whenever he goes to see Peter or Peter comes to see him you tag along ( “we’re kind of a package deal Mr. Stark” ) and you’ve grown on him considerably 
  • after Peter meets the Avengers for the first time you plead with him to let you meet them too and when he finally relents you almost faint in front of Cap and have a heart attack in front of Natasha 
    • “Sorry she’s a little excited she’s not usually like this” 
    • “I think I need a glass of water or an oxygen tank”
    • “Mr. Stark do you have an oxygen tank”
    • “She didn’t faint in front of me I’m offended Y/N”
  • Cap offhandedly says you and Peter are cute kids and you almost die
  • Peter is definitely not jealous aT ALL
  • you reassure him that you love him more than Cap and always will
  • you would never want Peter to think for a second that anyone else could ever take you away from him you love him too much to think about that
  • he’s just ridiculously head over heels beautifully in love with you and he wears that love on his sleeve for the entire universe to see and doesn’t care if he’s called “whipped” because hell yeah he is 
  • he managed to become the boyfriend of the most divine person he’s ever had the pleasure of meeting
  • who wouldn’t be a lovestruck mess over you is the better question
  • at least in Peter’s humble opinion
“Growing Up a Winchester”  Sam/Dean x Sister Reader

Word Count: 3,867

Sam and Dean Winchester x Sister Reader, some Castiel x Reader

Summary: While on a long road trip to a hunt, you reminisce about your memories growing up with your brothers, from the best ones, to the worst, to the most awkward.

Warnings: Mentions of death, language, angst, light smut between Cas and the reader

Flashbacks are in italics.

Originally posted by whoeveryoulovethemost

                                                            -

You’re sitting in the backseat of the impala, looking out the window at the scenery. Dean, of course, is driving, and Sam is sitting on the passenger side, sleeping. You have a hard time sleeping in the car, so on long car trips like this, you have a hard time. Thankfully, Dean is usually always awake as well, and serves as your entertainment.

Growing up as the youngest Winchester sibling was not always fun and games, especially being a teenage girl. As much as your brothers love you, they know absolutely nothing about teenage girls. You more often than not felt like you were raising yourself, but you wouldn’t have it any other way. Your brothers are your rock, and you would never leave them.

You can barely remember the first time you’d met Dean. Your dad, John, had gotten your mother pregnant and throughout the first four years of your life, he was very in and out of your life. He’d only show up at your house once a year, normally on your birthday. He’d call on holidays, but you were too young to hold a conversation. A little after your fourth birthday, your mother had passed away from cancer. You had nothing and no one else, and your dad John came to your rescue.

“Hey, kiddo.” John had told you, picking you up from the hospital. He looked tired, the bags underneath his eyes more prominent than you had ever seen them.

“Hi.” You say quietly. You didn’t really know what was going on. All you knew was that your mommy was in a better place and you were going to live with your dad. You remember being nervous, because to you, your dad was like a stranger. You knew nothing about him.

“Do you have your stuff? You’re comin’ to stay with me and your brother, Dean. Dean’s excited to meet you, you know.”

Keep reading

For anyone who ever falls in love with her or is lucky enough to get into a relationship with her. But hopefully she’s mine till the day I die. But take some of these things on board. - From someone who is in love with her and has been for 3 years. And always will be.
She loves FaceTime calls, especially video calls she’ll probably like seeing you because I definitely like seeing her. And hearing her voice. Her voice is special, and perfect to me because it’s hers. I could listen to her talking all day. Even if she’s complaining. She absolutely hates slow replies and being ignored, so reply to her as quickly as you can. And if you go out or you’re busy, make sure you tell her. Don’t allow her to overthink, and worry about you. It’s bad for her. Listen to her. Especially when she talks about something that makes her happy or inspires her. Listen. Even if she talks for hours , listen. Have deep conversations with her, about anything. She loves that. Talk to her for hours until 4am and you’re both tired , but happy so it doesn’t matter. Talk about weird things , like I do. Reincarnating into a tiger and a dolphin, so when we both die we can be happy together. Yes that’s weird but it’s us, and I love that. I’m sure she does too. Make her feel wanted, she absolutely hates feeling unwanted. I can assure you she’s wanted. More than anything by me. Send her cute messages and paragraphs , anything to make her smile, it’s difficult to make that girl smile. So it’s extremely precious to me when I see her smile. Be patient with her, it takes time to understand her. Wait. Wait a long time, as long as you need to wait until she’s comfortable to tell you something, for example if she’s in a bad mood. Don’t pressure her to tell you, don’t assume things. Yes I do that because I’m insecure and I overthink. But don’t make assumptions. Wait until she’s ready, but reassure her, so she knows you care. Please be patient and she’ll open up to you, if she trusts you. And it’s very hard to gain her trust. Appreciate her. Everything about her, how beautiful she is from head to toe. Her soul, her heart , her mind. I mean everything. This girl is special. Real fucking special. When she’s insecure and gets jealous of other girls , remind her she’s the best. To me she’s the best anyway. I wouldn’t want anybody but her. Admire every single thing about her. Emphasis on admire. She’s perfect. My perfect dolphin, I’d call her. That’d make her smile. All our little weird conversations mean a lot to me, and all our memories. I love her smile though, she hates it. But out of all the thousands of smiles I’ve seen hers is the best. I honestly can’t put into words how beautiful she looks when she smiles. The way her eyes glisten, sparkling omg. She hates her eyes too, because they’re “ boring brown” but to me they’re far from boring. They’re the type of eyes I could look into all day long and not for a second be bored. Even sitting in silence with her is perfect. The vibes off her are the besttttt. It’s unexplainable tbh. Don’t use her, never do that, she’s been hurt way too many times before and doesn’t deserve any more pain. Her happiness means the world to me. And if she ever becomes yours, do your best to keep her happy. This girl is different from the rest, NO ONE is like her. I swear you’ll never come across someone as perfect, precious, beautiful, amazing, out of this world etc. (I could go on) like her. Sometimes I have to ask myself if I’m dreaming, because the amount of love she shoes and all she does for me is unbelievable. And if you can ever call her yours , you’ll be very blessed to have her. This girl has her guard up too, a huge wall you have to break down bit by bit, for a very long time. Until you know her. I don’t know her to the full extent but I know her better than anybody else. And I lover her more than anybody else has or ever will.
She loves being called babygirl, princess or wifey. Or in our special kinda way she’s my dolphin. Something like that will make her smile. Don’t call her “B” or “baby” or “ babe” she thinks it’s cringe, or “ year 7 relationships” she’d say. And don’t put like 100 heart emojis or weird emojis when you text her, just be normal. When she’s happy she’ll put a lot of emojis. Pay attention to them. They represent her mood. It’s pretty important to me.
She’s passionate about reading and she’s soooo fucking good at writing. Anything. Literally. She’s the most intelligent, smart , brainy ( whatever you wanna call it ) girl I’ve met. No exaggeration at all. She absolutely loves getting new stationary, fine liners , coloured felts, glue, sticky notes, sexy note pads. You name it. And if she loves you she’ll spend hours and hours creating things for you. She’ll write you books if she’s 100% in love with you ( I’m lucky asf to get that ) even make a canvas of photos together. She will do a HELL of a lot. So appreciate that. If she’s ever yours. I appreciate her and I’m so thankful for every single thing she does.
She loves bright colourful sunsets ( purples and pinks , blues ) she likes it when they start to go dark though right at the end of them. She would spend ages taking photos of the sky , until it’s “ right ”. Sunsets are another thing that make her happy. Her happiness is key, remember that. And I hope In the future, me and her can sit and watch sunsets together. But if she becomes yours, please sit and admire the sky with her. Do anything you can to make her happy. She deserves happiness. And more. She loves romantic movies, tbh they’re her favourite, and horror movies. Lying in bed and watching a movie she’ll like, will make her happy. Some days she will push you away, and she’ll get angry at you for little things, but you need to understand that, that’s her. But try and stay, reassure her. Tell her how much she means to you, she loves when I do that. She will just stay in bed some days , not move at all, cry and hate herself. Those are the difficult days, don’t leave on those days. Do whatever you can to make sure she’s okay. Remind her that everything will be okay , the bad thoughts will go away. They don’t last forever. Better things will come.
She gets jealous too, very easily , if she loves you. Focus on her and nobody else, don’t ever take her for granted. Ever. And she doesn’t like going out, in crowded places , so don’t pressure her to go out. Whenever she’s ready you’ll know. She’ll prefer being indoors as long as she’s in the presence of someone she loves. That’d make her day, she’d say to me. There are a thousand of other things I could say, but hopefully this gives a decent idea. If you’re ever lucky enough to call her yours , protect her, love her, appreciate her etc. Take all of this into consideration. There’s much more but this is what comes to mind right now. But hopefully nobody else will ever have her and she’ll be mine until forever ends. If one of us die. But I will always love her no matter what. Regardless of anything, literally anything. I promise that.
—  for my wife.
Translations

Originally posted by yourwisehistory

Khal Drogo x Reader (Requested by Anon)

Hello! Could I request a Khal Drogo x Reader fic where she works as his translator/interpreter and one day she translates for Khal when an important guest arrives. But then the guest keeps hitting on her and being insulting when she turns him down. Khal can’t understand and the Reader doesn’t say anything to Khal because she knows the guest is important. But Khal notices she’s upset/withdrawn and ends up finding out. Thank you my lovely!

When you first started working for Khal Drogo, you hated it because, well, you were his slave. You were a translator for him as he only spoke his native tongue, and you spoke six other tongues - including his. You learned to love what you did, as you knew all of the important things going on in the tribe and what business your Khal was doing. You were sworn to secrecy with all of the business you heard and translated and you spent most of your time with Drogo. The only moments you weren’t with him was when you were bathing and sleeping.

You knew Drogo treated you differently than his other slaves; he favored you. He appreciated the translating, but he would have you sit either in front of him or on his lap when you weren’t doing what you were bought for. He liked to have you stay in his tent with him most nights, though you did have a cot in the slaves tent. He never raped you, or let anyone else rape you. He wouldn’t make you do anything you didn’t want to do unless it was telling him what someone had said.

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characterization, filters, and characterization to be found in the lack of filters

Talking about Jane earlier got me thinking, you know, Jane is not at all the only character that uses this device to show off the less desirable traits lurking in the psyche of all these damaged teens. Like. So many characters have these lurking deep seated issues that stay hidden deep down because the characters are pretty good at projecting a less damaged and more together version of themselves. 

If that sounds familiar it’s because it’s a fucking outrageously relatable quality and part of what makes the Homestuck characters RESONATE so much. Why they feel like they have all this dimension and depth that makes us grab on to them and never want to let go. 

I’m just going to run through some examples here while I’m thinking about it. The first OBVIOUSLY since thinking about her is what got me going on this – Jane. Crockertier Jane removing the layers of self-imposed filter on Jane’s festering insecurity, entitlement issues, jealousy and so on. I’ve already talked enough about that today.

Grimbark Jade! You notice Jade says what she’s thinking WAY more easily while she’s mind controlled, and she still sounds like herself – she sounds kinda like she does when she’s owning Karkat repeatedly, doesn’t she? Because angry Jade has that same effect of pushing her nice girl filter aside and letting the angry witch (not a cutesy slur, her literal witch class) within fly free. Grimbark Jade tells us that behind that nice girl front Jade Harley actually thinks some pretty uncharitable thoughts sometimes, she just keeps a tight fucking lid on it because – well, don’t most people? Relatable as fuck. 

Jadesprite! Since we’re talking about Jade anyway. Jade likes to think she has everything together, that her visions from Skaia and her scientific prowess and the tools her Grandpa left her are more than enough to handle everything that comes her way, she’s independent, she’s capable, she’s certainly never LONELY oh no of course not certainly never CRUSHINGLY OVERWHELMED by the responsibility of her own existence nah those are weak feelings for weak girls who aren’t as awesome as Jade! And then – Jadesprite. Why do you think Jade got SO ANGRY at Jadesprite? Because she was being confronted with something she knew deep down was a reflection of weaknesses in herself (totally normal ones that her later arc reinforced were a mistake to pretend weren’t there – Loneliness and fear and regret are all tied in with Jade’s character progression and learning how to deal with those things is where I imagine her arc would have gone if Homstuck’s ending hadn’t been the literary equivalent of chopping off a limb and cauterizing the wound.) Jadesprite is Jade without the filter of implacable strength Jade imposes on herself to fuckin cope with living on a hell island with the stuffed corpse of her grandpa who she grew up thinking literally killed himself at BEST.  god damn

Davesprite. Dave Strider with a slow long agonizing depressing arc wherein he realizes his coolkid persona won’t make anyone think of him as their best friend anymore, and in the absence of the security that persona afforded him when he was The Real Dave he has no idea what to do with himself. He’s lost, he feels aimless, untethered, incapable of being happy – and yes, Davesprite is his own character, but you can still infer a lot from Dave’s character about him – for instance, how he completely ties his self worth up in how useful he is to his friends or how worthwhile they find him and has no idea how to even BEGIN the hard journey of looking within for worth instead of relying eternally on changeable external sources. Davesprite is Dave not WITHOUT a filter but certainly with a VERY DIFFERENT one.

Homestuck does this with almost every single damn character on its roster at some point. Shows a version of them with a different or lesser or completely missing filter to highlight flaws and issues and internal struggles of all kinds. 

Homestuck is a damn deep dive into an exercise about analyzing nature vs nurture and what we’re predisposed to do and what comes from within and what is put upon us by forces out of our control, and how that line is blurry and messy and everyone has the potential to be either the worst or best version of themselves. Even Caliborn was given a choice. Hussie-The-Character explained it to him at great painstaking length. 

There are so many other examples. Jasprose is Rose without a filter, and the way Jasprose goes around gleefully calling every hot girl she sees hot and delighting smugly in knowing more than just about anyone else and lording over the information and playing smarter-than-thou games – that tells us a LOT about Rose! A LOT about what sort of urges Rose tamps down on every day in an effort to just be fucking cool! 

I bet you have things like this with yourself, right? Doesn’t everyone?

Tricksters! Look at how they act. They’re not themselves but there is plenty to glean from them. Jane immediately goes for Jake, the object of her desire, to pursue an exaggerated version of her idealized future. Trickster Jake is a passive fucking ragdoll who immediately acquiesces to everything everyone demands of him because their happiness becomes his happiness – Jake hates confrontation, so Trickster Jake is just a fucking doormat. Roxy goes for Jake AND Dirk because divorced from the guilt she normally feels for harboring desire toward either one of them she knows exactly what she wants! ETC ETC. Of course they would never do any of this shit if they weren’t high as balls and incapable of understanding the meaning of the word “consequence.” That’s the point. Seeing what they do in this situation is an interesting window in!

Brain Ghost Dirk is a version of Jake (yes, of Jake, not Dirk) without a specific filter Jake runs his own personality through before he’s comfortable presenting it to others, and you’ll notice, it’s EXTREMELY biting and critical sometimes. Jake knows what he’s about. He just buries it most of the time because that’s easier than dealing with it. 

I could seriously keep going. 

Homestuck loves to show us what our favorites do and say and ARE when basic filters go out the window. Those filters that most of us employ to make other people believe we don’t all have intrusive thoughts or bad desires or just plain old weaknesses we’re ashamed of and want to keep hidding at costs – or that we occasionally think things or think about doing things we would never ever ever do in real life are demolished or changed or temporarily suspended. 

It’s brilliant tbh. It lets us see facets of characters that would normally never really get full spotlight reveals by their very nature, especially with protagonists. 

Vriska vs (Vriska) – (Vriska) is just Vriska with some more self awareness and more willingness to let down her self-imposed filter and actually examine the shit she wants and why because watching Aranea fuck the timeline over out of motivations eerily similar to her own hardcore shook her enough to develop in that direction. (which makes sense since HER original motivations are copying Mindfang who IS alt-aranea lmao I love Homestuck)  (Vriska) is still Vriska, it’s just a very very different lens through which to view her character. 

blah blah blah blah etc there are so many examples

anyway I love Homestuck and good character writing what up

Olivia Puckett as Zoe Murphy

Here, I’m gonna analyze and describe Olivia Puckett’s performance as Zoe Murphy, and the ways in which it differed from Laura Dreyfuss’s. Enjoy!

First of all, Olivia Puckett is a blessing to us all. I love her so much (have you seen her Instagram stories?!) you all have no idea. She was so sweet, so good.

I’ll start from the beginning. Instantly, right as she entered during “Anybody Have a Map” her differences with Laura Dreyfuss were evident. She slouched in her chair, her foot giggling under the table. Also, with Connor, her dialogue was lighter, in a way. She delivered the “He’s definitely high” line almost jokingly, like she was just this younger sister poking fun at her brother. It wasn’t disapproving and harsh the way Laura’s delivery felt.

Even while they were exchanging “Fuck you’s!” they seemed more like siblings messing around than two extremely damaged teenagers taking out their anger on each other. It honestly felt like a normal sibling relationship. She wasn’t even yelling, and neither was Mike Faist. It wasn’t mean or anything. It was. Good.

Even when she marched off the stage, proclaiming that she’d leave without Connor if he doesn’t spead up, I felt as though she wouldn’t leave without him. Like that was yet another joke. No big deal. Like she’d wait in the driveway for him to come, and maybe give him a bit of a hard time about it all later, but that they’d laugh about it next week or something.

Then, she met Evan. She rushed over to him in the middle of WTAW, and he instantly recoiled, his shoulders turning inwards, his eyes on the ground, his hands twitching. She seemed genuinely concerned. Her voice was low, and she seemed to purposefully stay away from him, almost fearful of scaring him, while simultaneously wanting to be closer.

When she called Connor “a psychopath,” it sounded like she was angry with Connor for pushing Evan, who obviously didn’t deserve anything, but wasn’t disgusted or hateful. She didn’t sound like she hated Connor. Or even really disliked him. Just has a stereotypical teenage sibling relationship that’s a bit edgy.

When she walked away– “Okay…Jose…” –she turned around and looked back at Evan before leaving, almost fondly. It almost gave me the impression that this crush was requited, and perhaps had been for some time. That Evan’s love for Zoe wasn’t one-sided, that Zoe didn’t grow into liking Evan throughout the musical, but actually, in fact, liked him before it even began.

She entered, again, before “For Forever” and I could see a physical change that occurred in her during the 10 minutes or so she was off-stage. I could almost see her lose Connor, in that entrance. As she noticed Evan’s presence, she didn’t ask “Why is he here” like “Why is this weird kid in our house” but more like “Why is Evan, who I talked to in the hallway a few days ago, here?

Throughout the dinner before “For Forever,” she did this leg jiggle again. Which was. So fascinating. She had these particular ticks, ones which almost mirrored Evan’s. They seemed like two pieces of the same pie, in their own peculiar way. Simply, if Olivia Puckett announces one day that Zoe Murphy has a minor anxiety disorder, I would believe her in a heartbeat.

When she retorted about good times with Connor, saying that “There were no good times!” she didn’t sound like a possibly abused sibling. She sounded almost angry with herself, as though she was wondering why she didn’t notice something was wrong with Connor, as though she wished she’d tried harder. She didn’t sound like someone who was wronged and was furious, she sounded like someone who was remembering her entire childhood and trying to pinpoint where everything went wrong.

Laura’s Zoe seemed like a young person who suddenly lost control over seemingly everything in her life, someone who was almost drowning. Olivia’s Zoe seemed like a young person who had just temporarily misplaced control, someone who was floating just above the water’s surface.

During “Requiem,” Olivia cried, actually cried, which is something Laura definitely did not do. 

The whole “You were not the monster that I knew” thing was much less believable. But the “You’ve given me my brother back. Thank you.” thing at the end of “You Will Be Found” was so. much. more. believable.

I really felt for Olivia’s Zoe. “Requiem” was when I started crying fully during this performance, rather than during “You Will Be Found” (which normally what gets me). I felt her loss so deeply and profoundly, like she was taking the whole audience on this journey with her.

She truly seemed to mourn Connor, to have loved her brother. She seemed so devastated during “If I Could Tell Her” that she never got to tell Connor what she thought. 

It was just a different kind of loss.

As well, her relationship with Evan was so vastly different. She seemed to be more interested in him specifically and less interested in his connection with her brother. At the end of “You Will Be Found” when she kissed Evan the second time, she kept a hand on his when he pulled away. When he kissed her back, she wrapped her arms around him and like hug-kissed him. In the boot, with Laura Dreyfuss, Evan leaned Zoe into her back on the bed. 

The opposite happened here, with Zoe really taking control of their kissing, pushing Evan into the bed.

Also, during “Only Us” she put a hand on either side of Evan’s face and held him so softly when she sang “We can’t compete with all that” rather than motioning with one hand (see: Laura and Ben’s performance of “Only Us” on Seth Meyers). There was a part where she sat on Evan’s bed and Evan kneeled before her, and she held both of his hands between hers.

They held hands whenever they were together after that, honestly. During “Only Us,” Zoe normally kisses Evan once, at the very end of the song. Here, Olivia kissed Ben three (3) times. Twice while singing and once at the end of the song.

I cannot over-exaggerate the softness in her eyes when she looked at him. In all honestly, y’all, I felt myself really loving their relationship, which isn’t something I did beforehand. 

With Laura’s Zoe, I never would recommend Zoe and Evan being together for their own health. With Olivia’s Zoe, if they had met under different circumstances, if Evan hadn’t lied, I firmly believe that they could’ve had a healthy and happy relationship.

And the kegger skit!!! OMG!! She did the same dorky voice that Evan did with “til your mom gets home” when she said “in three hours!!” and they laughed. They laughed a lot.

It was so interesting to see almost Ben’s reactions as an actor to what Olivia was giving him. This was only the second time they’d ever done the show together in those characters, and it must’ve been so unusual to what he had been doing for the past hundred or so performances.

Zoe was so sweet? And? So strong? And never once mean to Evan? With Olivia, the whole “you don’t have to keep saying sorry….I was a little impressed, you ruined it” thing wasn’t as weird? It didn’t feel uncomfortable. It felt like: Zoe liked soft Evan, who apologizes all the time, she just wanted him to be comfortable enough around her to not feel like he had to apologize, rather than wanting him to change.

She felt like a young girl, who had suffered an immense loss, who was coping as best as she possibly could. She wasn’t some semi-popular girl who Evan liked purely because he thought she was hot (neither, of course, is Laura’s Zoe, or any form of Zoe, in fact). She was a multi-dimensional person who existed in her own right outside of anyone else. There was no room to see her as anyone else.

When she found out about Evan’s lie, it was almost more devastating. 

I would have believed her if she had said she loved Evan. 

Laura’s Zoe was angry and possibly depressed. She was desperate to grab a hold onto anything in her life, her life which was quickly spiraling out of control before her eyes. There, Evan seemed like the perfect person to grab onto, someone that was malleable and almost willing to be controlled.

Olivia’s Zoe felt in-control, like she knew what she was doing and knew where she would be in ten years, she just wasn’t there quite yet.

She obviously loved Connor and was mourning his death, but there didn’t seem to be as much guilt involved.

In her final scene, where she met Evan at the orchard, she, like Evan, seemed to have also gone through a metamorphosis. She seemed to have grown so much, and she held her head higher, too, just like Evan. To me, Zoe is a lead character, sharing the female lead title with Heidi Hansen, rather than a supporting character.

I love Laura Dreyfuss with my entire heart and soul, and her Zoe was a very particular character as well. It’s hard to pinpoint the exact differences between her Zoe and Olivia’s Zoe, because they are both truly incredible. Both woman are powerhouses of whom I will forever be in awe. Both portrayals make Zoe a fascinating, dynamic, complex, female character, one that is much, much more than a love interest or plot point. She, in some aspects, feels like the beating heart of the show. It’s hard to put my connection with her into words.

Again, like I said with Michael Lee Brown’s Jared vs. Will Roland’s Jared, neither performance was better. Both are heart-wrenching and powerful and conveyed a message to the audience, reached out and grabbed our hearts in their hands. Both are incredible. Just very, very different.

Essentially, Olivia Puckett’s performance was incredible. Unbelievable actually. Any desire to not want to see the understudies is pointless and wrong, let me tell you. This entire cast and entire crew are the most talented people I’ve ever seen.

You Don’t Understand

Requested with the prompt: ‘when your try to leave but they tug on your shirt because they want you to stay’

{2448 words}

Peter had done it again. He had promised that he wouldn’t be late again. That he wouldn’t flake out on your plans, again. After the first couple of times it had happened you brushed it off, but now it was now the norm that Peter didn’t show up. And a miracle when he did.

After hours of waiting in your apartment for Peter to come through the door you had given up. You pushed all of the study notes and school books away from you as you moved away from the dining table. Glancing at your watch it was now just past half eight, about four hours since Peter was expected to be at your apartment. You could feel the anger boiling up inside of you, ready to explode at any minor thing. And you just begged to yourself that it wouldn’t be Peter to catch the brunt of it. So in an attempt to calm your bubbling emotions you stepped outside onto the fire escape, and allowed the fresh city air to try its best to wash away your emotions. But the longer you sat out on the fire escape the more your mind overanalysed everything Peter had done in the last month that had gotten on your nerves. You didn’t want to be doing this to yourself, but you knew that you were only doing this because Peter was your closest friend. He meant so much to you! And you just couldn’t understand why all of a sudden he didn’t seem to care about you anymore. Had you done something wrong? Had you said something? He would have told you. You would know if you had. It just didn’t make sense. You need the reassurance that everything was okay between the two of you. You couldn’t fathom losing Peter to something that must of been so minuscule for you to look over it.

Before you realised your body was taking you off the fire escape. Your feet guiding you to your room to grab your jacket. You were going to go to Peter’s apartment and see what was going on. In the back of your mind you really hoped that Peter wasn’t home, and that Aunt May would tell you he was still at that damn Stark Internship. You wanted to see what was going on with him but you were scared of what might happen, and what could be said.

You had made it to Peter’s apartment door. The adrenaline was wearing off and now you didn’t know what to do with yourself. Knocking on the door gently, you waited for either May or Peter to come to the door. It only took a couple of seconds before you were greeted by May’s smile.

“(Y/N)! I wasn’t expecting you! How lovely to see you again!” May smiled, opening her arms in front of her, engulfing you in a warm hug.

“I’m so sorry for just popping in like this. I didn’t even think of calling first.” You realised, following May over to the small dining table.

“Oh no, don’t worry about that! You’re always welcome here sweetheart.” May said reassuringly, “Peter’s just gotten home and is in his room, just go on through (Y/N). I’ve just got to run out and get something for dinner.” She continued, her warm hand placed on your back and nodding towards Peter’s bedroom. You thanked her quickly and headed towards Peter’s door. His door was cracked open slightly, but no sound was coming from the other side. You couldn’t make up your mind if you wanted to open the door slowly or just kick it open. You settled for the first. As the door opened you saw Peter sitting at his desk, his head placed in his hand in exhaustion. Your heart and mind softened slightly at the sight of him. He only moved slightly at the sound of his door closing completely. Turning his head slowly to have his brown eyes look at the source of noise. Shocked by seeing you in his room, he fumbled as he found his feet and stood up from the chair.

“What? What are you - why are you? (Y/N)? I um.. Oh I’m so sorry. I told you I wouldn’t - but I have. I’m so -” Peter rushed, his worlds tumbling over each other as he tried to form a sentence.

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anonymous asked:

AU where Bitty and Jack both suddenly wake up, after having had a few years together, and find themselves in their beds on the morning of the day they met. Both remember everything that happened, but neither thinks the other does, so they both pretend not to remember (which only complicates things more). They end up reenacting a lot of their interactions and it kills them both to do things they know hurt the other but they don't want to change anything.

oh no buddy, I’m not gonna let this stay sad. I’m gonna draw attention to several sad things, but then I’m gonna fix it.

******************

Bitty wakes up on his first day of freshman year. Again. He quickly decides that he can’t say anything to anyone. There was no way to prove that the life he had just been living was anything but a dream.

He goes through the motions as well as he can remember. If he lingers a little on the handshake when he ‘meets’ Jack again, well, who could notice a thing like that?

Jack wakes up in the Haus. He mirrors Bitty’s mental process, realizing that if he started talking about this he could lose the future he knows is on its way. He searches Bittle’s face for recognition, but is too afraid to say anything.

Jack takes a deep breath every day and snaps at Bittle, pushing every pet name out of his mind. Bitty forces himself to forget and relearn how to take a check. On the rink together for checking practice, neither can think of any way to ask if they’re going through the same thing. They both cry more than they did the first time around.

Sometimes Bitty just gets angry at having to repeat things. He tries as hard as he can to not mess the repetitions up, but he isn’t perfect. When Ransom and Holster start asking him what his type is, he rolls his eyes and replies “Men.” As soon as he’s said it he remembers that he had only said that later to his camera, but the damage doesn’t seem to be too great. Jack doesn’t seem to react to the change, adding to his mental list of evidence that everything else had just been a dream. He gets the list of eligible Winter Screw options a few days earlier, but everything settles back to what it had been within a week. Whenever he starts thinking about the next few years, he’s enraged about everything he’s going to have to sit back and let happen. Everything that was going to make Jack sad, and that he wouldn’t be able to fix. Everything that was going to hurt him that he couldn’t avoid. 

Jack wakes up every day and writes up a game plan. It’s hard to have to turn back years of learning and be worse as a captain, especially when he remembers every mistake he made in every lost game. So he writes down those mistakes as a reminder to himself to make them. Half of the mistakes are emotional, and that’s what really gets him. He’s forced to act like those years of growing as a person never happened, like they were worthless. He hates trying to make himself glare at Bittle when they’re on the same line, he hates telling him that it was a lucky shot, he hates being so close to his boyfriend except for the fact that he isn’t his boyfriend yet.

Then it’s the playoffs. Bitty steels himself all week for the concussion he knows is coming. It crosses his mind to try to avoid it, to spare himself the pain and potential brain damage. But he remembers that it was only after the concussion that Jack started texting him, and they really got close. He knows that if he went against the play he knew Jack was going to suggest, he’d only drive them apart. Besides, it hadn’t been that bad the first time.

Jack is confident he can find another reason to text Bittle over the summer. He’s thought about this for the whole school year. Whatever consequences could come from not seeing Bitty hurt like that would be worth it. He just has to convince the coaches to not put Bitty in at the wrong time. 

“Oh my god, I thought we got over this months ago,” Bitty mutters to himself. He doesn’t remember Jack getting so annoyed about playing with him during this game, but he’s at a point where everything has run together in his mind. 

“Jack, I’ll be fine,” he half-lies. He will, eventually. There’s something close to panic in Jack’s eyes. Weird, Jack had taken so long the first time around to show any tiny sign of weakness.

“Promise me you’ll avoid number three.” This is definitely different from before. Bitty stares at Jack. “Spencer, number three, don’t go near him when he’s on their side of the rink. Promise me, Bits.”

“You didn’t even call me Bitty at this point,” he says in shock. They stare at each other for a minute, eyes wide. 

“I won’t get the concussion this time and we’ll talk about this after the game,” Bitty blurts out. Jack nods vigorously. They play, and it’s brutal, but Bitty avoids the hip check. Once the game is over, they rush to get seats together in the bus. In whispers, they talk about the future they already had. Bitty mourned the years of school he had ahead of him that he had already completed. Jack complained about having to rewalk a long path to the Stanley Cup. They talked about teammates who felt like family but would still know them as strangers. Graduation, the Fourth of July they spent in Madison, their first Christmas together. Every important milestone of their relationship.

“And in this loop or timeline or whatever, we haven’t even kissed!” Bitty whispers, letting his head thunk back against the headrest. “I was at the point where I was out of college, happy with my career, and hiding a ring from you!”

“You weren’t!” Jack says out loud before dropping back into a whisper. “I was doing the same thing.” They both start laughing. It’s the perfect time to have a second first kiss. They lean in towards each other, their lips meet, and–

–They’re back in their apartment. Bitty sits bolt upright in their bed and turns to Jack. For a fleeting second, he thinks about pretending the last several months just didn’t happen. Jack sits up too, and their eyes meet.

“Did that just–”

“Your frog year take two–” They dissolve into relieved laughter.

“I thought I was going to have to take calc again!”

“I thought I was going to have to listen to you complain about calc again,” Jack says before Bitty smacks him with a pillow. “Kidding! Kind of! Wait, weren’t we just saying that we wanted to propose to each other?” He throws himself out of bed and runs to start rummaging through various coat pockets.

“Oh no, you’re not going to propose to me before I can propose to you!” 

Everything is as it should be once more.

withmyteeth  asked:

Stiles all but gives up on ever finding his red hoodie again until he finds it stashed away in Derek's loft.

A short sterek ficlet for one of my favorite followers.

Stiles ran a hand through his messy hair, groaning loudly in frustration. He was standing in the center of his room, surrounded by a mountain of laundry. He scanned one more time for his signature hoodie before finally calling it. Today, at 10:07 a.m. on September 5th, 2017, his red hooded sweatshirt was officially lost to the void. He hadn’t seen it since the spring; California summer starts early and runs late, and on the first day it was cold enough to wear it he couldn’t fucking find it. What a summer ending bummer. A summer bummer, if you will.

He shot off a quick text to Scott to let everyone know he was gonna be late to the pack meeting, and grabbed his car keys, hoping desperately his dad wouldn’t see the ‘small island village post a hurricane’-esque mess his room had become.


The second thing Derek noticed when Stiles walked in to his loft set his brow in a deep furrow. The first thing was that Stiles was an hour late, and the second was the cyan hoodie Stiles was wearing. It looked crisp and new, and Derek could smell from across the room it had just been purchased, stale department store air clinging to it. Derek wrinkled his nose. It was a total assault on his senses. Stiles was supposed to smell like himself and pack, not the mall. Stiles wore red, not this teal crime against nature. This color actually almost hurt his eyes to look at. The brunette in question was staring at him, eyebrow raised. Derek felt him tense up, probably because his alpha’s intense expression.

Derek guiltily looked away, and continued listening to whatever Erica was saying about the pointlessnss of fingerless gloves.

Stiles shook his head, unsure of what caused the gorgeous alpha to be so annoyed by just his presence, he hadn’t even said anything yet! His heart hurt at that thought, he never expected Derek to return his feelings but being scorned like this was almost too much. Derek looked younger today, like he had finally gotten a bit of rest, but apparently even that wasn’t enough to soften his sour demeanor towards Stiles. Scott clapped him on the shoulder, and shook him lightly, bringing him back to the present. Act normal, he thought.

“Nice threads. New look?” Scott asked good naturedly. Stiles frowned, it was still a sore subject.
“Nah, I can’t find my favorite red hoodie, you know, the trademark Stiles one? I can’t figure it out, I wore it last spring and now it’s just gone. Had to shell out forty bucks for a new one today, everything else has holes in it from our ‘dark forest fun times of nearly being killed by supernatural creatures.” Scott frowned, shaking his head just as Isaac nuzzled into Stiles neck from the side, scenting him.

“You know, I think I saw that one here on the couch like…maybe a week ago?” Isaac interjected, lazily launching himself from Stiles to Erica.

Derek froze, heart rate spiking for moment as his ears blushed red. His untrained betas didn’t notice, but the picture was now clear. He must have left the hoodie he had sneakily taken from Stiles’ floor on the couch last week after he had taken a nap. Smelling Stiles’ scent helped him sleep, and he had been so tired, he didn’t think taking it would be too much of a big deal. He felt guilty, sick to his stomach, and ashamed. His longing after Stiles had never really caused problems before, and he couldn’t fix the problem without giving away he had stolen the hoodie in the first place.

“Really? I must have left it here…but this place is always so clean, why would it have been here a week ago? I haven’t worn it in at least two months.” Stiles trailed off, seeing he had lost everyone’s attention to the pizza that had just arrived. (The delivery guy didnt even get to knoock, the werewolves had already been there waiting. He was so startled Jackson had to catch a few of the toppling boxes.)

A fuck ton of pizza, two twelve packs of soda, and two bad horror movies later, everyone was saying goodbye and filing out of Derek’s loft. As Stiles was leaving, a hand gripped his bare arm firmly where he had pushed up his sleeves.(Derek refused to touch the blue monstrosity.) He looked up at Derek who was wearing the same annoyed expression as earlier.

“I’m sorry I was late, is that why-”

“I need to give you something.”

“Uh..okay, big guy. What’s up?” Stiles blushed, the close proximity being a little overwhelming.

Derek led him to his dresser, and carefully pulled something out of the top one. Stiles noticed he was acting slowly, like whatever was in his arms would fall to tatters or bolt if he moved too fast.

“I’m sorry.” Derek said gruffly, looking away as he held out something stiffly. Stiles grinned, taking the hoodie excitedly.

“My hoodie, you found it! That’s amazing, I’m so fucking happy. But wait, what are you sorry for? It’s in perfect condition, it even smells good.”

“…” Derek didn’t meet his gaze. Stiles stepped closer, touching his alpha’s arm lightly. The firm muscle of his forearm stiffened, and Stiles let go.

“C'mon, what’s up?” The werewolf looked up at him, cheeks burning bright.

“I took it. You didn’t lose it. I took it without your permission and I shouldn’t have.”

“But why, I don’t understand? I don’t think you’d wear it. It’s not really your style.”

“I couldn’t sleep. After the alpha pack and Kate kidnapping me again I didn’t feel safe. I was desperate. You smell like pack and someone I can trust. It helps.”

Stiles blinked, stunned. Derek trusted him. The sexy, badass, leather-clad alpha of his dreams was sleeping with hoodie to feel safe. The pale brunette felt himself flush from his chest to his ears. Derek had been looking less tired recently, and thinking about the countless terrible hardships he’s had to endure was heart-breaking, any kind of relief he got was well-deserved.

“Oh, that’s, it’s totally fine. No worries. No big deal. Keep it. I’m glad it’s been doing a good job.” Stiles rambled, smiling bashfully. Derek looked shocked, unsure.

“You’re not angry with me.” Derek stated quietly. Stiles’ heart broke a little more, Derek apparently thought he’d be furious.

“Of course not, you’re my alpha and my friend. I wish you had told me sooner. Maybe I can help somehow. Like, bring you some of my stuff to keep around or my bedsheets or something.” Stiles yelped when Derek suddenly pulled him forward and scented his neck gently with his nose and stubble-covered chin. He’d seen the alpha scent some of the others before on rare occasions, but he’d never been this affectionate with Stiles directly. Stiles wrapped his arms around Derek slowly, and damn did it feel great.

“You know, I could crash in your bed sometimes and then it’d really smell like Stiles Stilinski in here. Would that help?” Stiles was given an answer via Derek yanking his new hoodie off and pushing him towards the king size bed in the corner of the room.

“I’ll take that as a yes.” Stiles gulped again. Was it getting hot in here? Was he dreaming? Did he hallucinate from some bad pepperonis on the pizza?

Stiles fell back when the back of his knees hit the mattress, bouncing lightly. Derek crawled on beside him, about a foot away after shucking his shirt and hitting the lights off.
Derek could hear Stiles’ pulse thumping loudly, and a mixture of nervousness and arousal. Derek was startled by his findings, but definitely on board. He’d take whatever Stiles was willing to give him.

Stiles rolled over, facing away from the alpha.
“This would probably work better if you’re c-closer. Like to me.”

Derek hesitantly wrapped his arms around Stiles, nose pressed into the brunette’s hairline. He was overloaded on the familiar scent and it felt so, so good. He could practically feel the stress pouring from his body.

Stiles felt the muscles of his alpha relax, his own body going slack against Derek’s hard muscled chest. After a moment, he felt hot breath tickling his neck. Derek had passed out.

“Wow. That was fast.”

Bonus:

“I hate the blue hoodie. Take it back to the store. Burn it. I’ll give you the money you paid for it.”

Stiles chuckled in Derek’s arms. “Okay, sourwolf.” It was the start of something, he could feel it.

Got7 as the Mafia + How He Met You

|||Anon asked:  Hi! I really liked your mafia monsta x post and was wondering if you could do something similar for got7 and bts?|||

BTS   Monsta X   Shinee


JB/Im Jaebum

Originally posted by jaesbum

  • Built this whole gang from scratch 
  • Has this strong and scary presence around him but he’s actually an angel doesn’t like doing the dirty work himself and instead relies on his other gang members to clean up the mess
  • Even though he himself and his gang is well known around the city he prefers to stay in the shadows
  • Has a reputation of one of the fiercest mafia leaders 
  • And the rumors are true because no one who got on his bad side, got to live to see another day

Meeting you was a complete coincidence as you happened to work in the warehouses where his gang would make deals. You were always told finish up before 9 o’clock in the evening because you might lose your job otherwise and you always obeyed this rule until that day. It took you longer to sort things out than usual and when you were about to leave it was almost 10. You went out through the front exit and were caught up in the middle of two gangs.

“Who the fuck is she?” one man asked.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t see anything, I’m not even supposed to be here, I will never tell anyone, so please-”

“Shut up! You talk to much.” Jaebum ordered. You looked at him frightened.

“It would be better if we just kill her.” the other man spoke again.

“No.” Jaebum said approaching you. He wrapped his arm around your shoulder. “She’s with me.”


Mark Tuan

Originally posted by nochuie

  • He’s not in the gang to do business but rather for the many opportunities to steal, especially cars
  • If he sets his eye on something, there is 110% guarantee that he will get in 24 hours
  • He thinks Jackson is shady and that he’s probably going to try to steal from him so he avoids him like the plague which almost never works
  • Because of people like him, he doesn’t go anywhere (not even to sleep) without his trusted revolver
  • He’s one of the richest among the gang members and likes to show off his precious cars but there will be no hesitation to kill if you as much as touch them

You made the stupid decision of trying to steal from him. You saw his obviously expensive car parked outside one of the clubs and thought that that’s a good catch. However when you drove away with it, expecting to sell it into the black market, Mark himself showed up to buy it from you.

“That’s not very nice.” he said pointing his gun at you. “I really like this one.”

You were surprised the owner of the car found you so fast and just wanted in anticipation to see what will happen.

“But I also find your courage and skills very impressive, not many people dare steal from me, so how about you give me back my car and then I will think what to do with you.”


Jackson Wang

Originally posted by igot17-bangtan-boys

  • No one knows why he’s in the gang and how he got here
  • He just started hanging around and before everyone knew it he was already going on missions and making deals
  • Was very quick to gain everyones trust and respect
  • He doesn’t have a specific job at the gang as he’s pretty much good at anything
  • And he also annoys a lot people so they don’t want to take him with them but he shows up anywhere, anytime at the right moment

He met you when he broke into your house in the middle of the night to interrogate you. He woke you up and put his hand over your mouth to stop you from screaming.

“We need to discuss some things, if you behave I won’t hurt you.”

Pretending to fear for your life you just nodded but if he really thought you were afraid, that was a big mistake on his part. You knew this was going to happen someday sooner or later, so you were ready and as soon as he let go of you, you took the scissors from your night stand and stabbed him in the leg. You took off immediately after that and you have no idea how (with that kind of injury) but he managed to catch up and tackle you outside. He dragged you to the back of your apartment building and slammed you into the wall.

“Naughty girl, what did I just say about behaving? I really don’t want to hurt you but if you don’t tell me everything you know right now, I might have to take you with me.”


Park Jinyoung

Originally posted by jypnior

  • Doesn’t always look like it but will do anything for the gang
  • He’s one of the top and most respected assassins in the industry
  • Prefers to take out his targets silently, that’s why he’s more skilled with hand held weapons like knifes, daggers, axes and so on
  • Most of the time he’s very collected and calm until you make him angry or his emotions take over, then he uses anything he can find as a weapon and not a single person leaves the room alive
  • He has been in the business for so long that he already forgot the number of people he killed

Unfortunately it was your mission to kill him, as you were probably the only person crazy enough to try it. He noticed you even before you approached him but didn’t say anything yet. This situation was very amusing to him as there has been a long time since somebody tried to kill him. You were waiting all night to get the right opportunity when you lost track of him. You were about to go look for him when he appeared next to you.

“Looking for someone?” he asked handing you a drink. “Why do you look so shocked? Did you see a ghost or am I that sexy?”

You were still frozen in your tracks when he got closer and closer to you only to pull your gun from under your dress.

“What were you about to do with this?” he smirked pushing you down on the couch. “I think you should sit down because me and you are about to have a very serious talk.”


Choi Youngjae

Originally posted by huggableyoungjae

  • Specializes in making drug, weapons and other kind of deals
  • Deal making with him is very quick, as he doesn’t like talking with his business partners about anything else but the deal, so that if anything happens it wouldn’t be traced back to him
  • Even though he’s well known in the industry not many people know his real name
  • He’s also the best at smuggling anything in and out of the country
  • If the money is given to him in cash, he counts every single note as he doesn’t trust people that easily

You tried to cheat your way out of the deal by not giving him a couple of grands, thinking he wouldn’t notice but as you turned around to leave he grabbed you by the arm. 

“No so fast sweetie.” he said. “Do you know what this is?” he asked you and you could feel the coldness of the metal press at your waist.

“It’s a gun.”

“Correct! And I would really hate to use it on you.” he stated snatching your bag out of your hand.

“I will take this.” he smiled taking out a bundle of banknotes out of it. “But as you tried to trick me, I  can’t let you go that easily, so I think I will need something more than that.”


BamBam

Originally posted by bamica

  • Any kind of location, a person, any piece of information - he has it
  • Is considered very valuable in this business and many gangs try to bribe him to work for them
  • He has no interest in helping them though and prefers to stick to one group at a time but he’s been in this gang for so long that nowadays he doesn’t even plan on leaving
  • Has many different methods to get the info he needs, the most infamous one of them being torture
  • Needless to say if he gets to use that method, you won’t be experiencing anything again. Ever.

You had no idea how it got to that. Seemingly one minute you were fighting alongside your members and now you were strapped to a chair in an unknown building. Someone pulled you up by the chin.

“I told you to look at me when I’m talking to you.” BamBam said. “Ahh such a pretty face!”

“Don’t touch me!” you told trying to smack his hand from your face.

“I think you don’t understand the situation you’re now in. You see, you don’t have many options. Or rather there is only two: you tell me everything you know and I kill you quickly or I torture the information out of you and kill you anyways.”

“How about neither, you fuck.”

“Ouch! You’re just making it worse for yourself but I admire your courage, how about, just for you, I come up with a third option.”


Kim Yugyeom

Originally posted by thehouseofkpop

  • Was very young when he was thrown into this whole mafia world, still in some sort of training to be a pro
  • But unexpectedly he’s crazy good with guns, his aim is great and his precision is no joke
  • Because of that all the members trust him with their lives and he’s taken on missions more often than anyone else
  • Favourite weapons of choice - long range sniper rifles
  • Often trains other even older than him gang members and can often be seen practicing till dusk

He was surprised to see he missed and only shot you in the leg. As you disappeared behind a building he decided to come finish you off. When he turned the corner you were nowhere to be seen.

“What the heck, she couldn’t have gone that far off, at this point she should have lost a lot of blood.” he wondered when unexpectedly you attacked him from behind. You took your knife out trying to stab him when he rolled you over and now he was the one on top.

“Oh! I see we have a fighter. How were you even able to stand up?” he questioned you. 

“Stop struggling, will you?” he told you pressing his fingers into the open leg wound. You screamed in pain and passed out. He checked your pulse.

“Good. She’s still alive. If we can get her to behave, she will make a strong ally.” he thought picking you up.


A/N: Next up is BTS!! But I still have to finish it 😂 Anyhow, feel free to request more scenarios, reactions etc, I keep up with a lot of groups, both male and female!! 😄

9 | You’ll Never Walk Alone

BTS + GOT7 X READER [GANG!AU]

WORD COUNT: 5,242

series warnings: mature themes, strong language, violence, substance abuse, eventual smut. this chapter contains graphic content such as violence, blood and description of unpleasant injuries

Originally posted by runchrandas

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