this is maybe a bit too long

anonymous asked:

Do you believe that McDs really has an artisanal hamburger. maybe they mean hamster? Be woke

McDonald’s also has McCafe coffee and muffins too. They’re the secretly upscale yet affordable alternative to having breakfast in a single wide trailer with a leaking roof with “Grizza” the former carny roustabout who pierced her nipples with a kebab skewer on a dare and who who thinks batter dipped deep fried eggs with Snickers bits is a balanced meal as long as you have an Old Style and a Slim Jim with it.

5

Assassin’s Creed Origins + Scenery

THINGS I WANT FROM SU SEASON 5

- To see how the CGs broke it to Greg that Steven had given himself over to Homeworld for trial.
- To see Steven try to explain all of this to Lars’ parents and Sadie.
- WHITE DIAMOND, GODDAMNIT.
- For Rhodonite and Padparadscha to fuse. I really wanna know what their version of Sardonyx would look/be like.
- For Steven to question Pearl about Pink Diamond’s shattering. Specifically bringing up everything Blue Zircon brought up at the trial.
- To find out who Pearl used to belong to once and for all.
- For the Off Colors and Lars to make it back to Earth, but not for a couple episodes. That way, Steven has to travel back and forth a bit and maybe even learn the things that the CGs refuse to tell him. Because regardless of their reasons, it’s gone on too long to be anything but harmful to everyone’s best interests.

I asked my mom to name each voltron character and their personality

Lance:

Me: “What’s his name?”

Mom: “I’m trying to think of something sly like, Leo.”

*snorts*

“He’s a player. A big flirt. Like he thinks he’s better than everybody but he’s really not.”

“Anything else?”

“No that’s it.”

“Wow.”

Keith:

Mom: “James”

Me: “JAMES?”

“And ack he’s sad god love him. He may be a bit disgruntled but he looks very sad. I think he seems like a nice guy, you know?”

“Yeah”

“He’s very closed off too. Cause he has his arms crossed. That means you’re closed off.”

Hunk:

Mom: “His name is…….. Patrick.”

Me: *laughing my ass off* “You’re giving them such generic names!”

“So? I like em names.”

*my brother from a distance* “PATRICK LMAO”

“And he looks a wee bit dozy.”

“Dozy?”

“Yeah he doesn’t know what he’s up to. He thinks he knows what he’s doing but he has no clue. He’s a big lug.”

*after being told his name is Hunk* “I like Patrick better.”

Pidge:

Mom: “I’m just gonna give her a name. Jenny.”

Me: “Jen- okay”

“And she looks like she’s a curious wee book worm girl. She’s probably really smart and slightly misunderstood maybe?”

“Is that it?”

“Ay”

Shiro:

Mom: “I’m trying to think of a name for him……….. Ian.”

Me: *trying to hold back laughter*

“Ian and he’s a wee bit scary. He’s like the leader. He’s the one in control of everything, you know? And he seems very… very distant but he wants to be closer maybe? Like he wants to be friendly but he’s gotta play the tough guy.”

Allura:

Mom: “……….Quintara.”

Me: “QUINTARA- at least it’s not something generic.”

“She looks like a princess. She looks… friendly? But a little bit sad or something? Worried maybe. But determined. She’d kill a bitch.”

*laughing our asses off cause FACTS*

Coran:

Mom: “His name is…………………………………….*long pause*…………………………….. Red.”

Me: “Red??”

“Yeah cause his hair. You know? He’s a red head.”

“Why would his name be red because of his hair color?”

“Because that’s the nickname. He’s very stuck up. Very snotty. ‘Mr. know it all.’”

“I can’t.”

“He may even speak with an English accent.”

*pissing myself at this point*

Lotor:

Mom: “….*long pause again*………. Like, fricken Zaltor?”

Me: *choking* “You’re close?”

“He’s a powerful enemy out to kill everybody. He has a dark side but he might have a light side too. He seems a wee bit soft hearted maybe? You know what, he reminded me of the princess. Allura? Yeah he reminded me of her. That, ‘I’m gonna kill. I’m soft hearted but I can kill you.’ and maybe that royalty stance gives off that impression.”

Zarkon:

Mom: *scared look* “Oh jesus……… King Buggaboo.”

Me: “wHAT??”

“I don’t know he looks like a bug! King Buggaboo!”

“THESE ARE THE VILLAINS, WHY WOULD A VILLAINS NAME BE ‘BUGGABOO?’ THAT’S NOT INTIMIDATING AT ALL.”

“True.”

“Try giving him a more intimidating name.”

“Mac.”

*w h e e z i n g*

“He’s like a big Mac Truck.”

“THAT’S NOT BETTER BUT OKAY.”

“He looks like he has a big raspy voice and he’s scary. He’s kinda like Megabyte, you know?” *she’s talking about Megabyte from reboot lmao* “He’s a trickster.”

*after explaining that he’s Lotors dad*

“Oooh…. this- this one, him? THAT’S HIS DAD?? WHAT THE HECK HAPPENED TO HIM???”

“HAHAHAHAHAHAHA”

Haggar:

Mom: “Ooo she looks like a witch doctor. She’s pretty dark. ‘Evil one.’ Her name’s Voltra.”

Me: “Yeah, VOLTRONS enemys name is VOLTRA.”

“Oh right it’s Voltron. I forgot the name. But she’s a nasty piece of work. There’s no soul in her.”

*me and my brother share a ‘If only she knew’ look*

*after explaining she’s Lotors mom.*

“So Zarkon is her husband.”

“Oh shit. Them two a couple? Fuck.”

I can’t wait for Season 6 Episode 6

Let’s do a recap here

Season 1 Episode 6 starts like this

and immediately cuts to the team with Keith making the saddest face

and he gets so impatient about Lance being in the the pod that he starts tapping the glass and annoying everyone else asking when Lance is gonna be okay

and then has this disappointed and worried look when he realises he has to keep waiting

and then Lance gets out of the pod and we get these faces

just look at that soft happy surprised keith

and then Lance flirts with Allura and happy Keith turns into grumpy jealous Keith

and in the next scene Lance is eating and Keith is literally sitting on the table watching him

and gets annoyed when Lance says he did nothing to help

and then we get these fucking devastated faces when Lance says he doesn’t remember any of what Keith did

they had a bonding moment, he cradled him in his arms

and then we have the castle landing on a moon that is literally just a big bi flag. like that is it, the moon is a bi pride moon, look at this shit

and we have Lance flirting with Nyma while Keith makes this face

and then he switches to unimpressed mode

and then we have Lance getting frazzled when Nyma suggests she go for a ride with Keith

and then rainbow on bi moon

followed immediately by keith just chilling and smiling with Rolo and definitely not being super super gay right after the pride flag was flashed up on screen

and then we have the sequence where Keith gets Lance’s lion back and this triumphant face

morphs into this soft, soft expression the second he says Lance’s name

and then they’re both just so soft (and Lance is making up the blue part of the bi flag rn)

and then this wonderful flirting

and “I thought we bonded” over a shot of another rainbow with Lance and Keith noticeably being the only Paladins off-screen

And now for Season 2 Episode 6 where Keith doesn’t speak until Lance says this

and when we’re shown him here he’s behind Lance glaring

and once attention is on him he looks super vulnerable

and the next shot we get of him he still looks vulnerable as heck but Lance has moved over to stand beside him

and then he does the thing where he explains his tagline use to Keith before Keith has to ask what he’s talking about

and then we have our token gay keith moment when keith cradles allura in his arms and has zero reaction to it even when she is flustered and blushing - I get the impression he wouldn’t devastated if she forgot about it…

and then we have Lance looking real upset when he realises Allura and Lance have gone off together (which parallels nicely with his reaction to Nyma suggesting Keith take her for a ride)

and then we have the moment when Keith is back in the red lion and he helps the others and he’s got this triumphant face

and then Lance starts talking and he goes all soft (kinda like he did when he started talking to lance in s1e6)

and then Lance gets this look and asks if Keith and Allura are an item

and Keith’s reaction is to let his expression get even softer

LOOK AT THIS SHIT

the softest fondest keith and he is so happy Lance just asked if he was single

and then switches back to this when Hunk starts talking instead

and okay this episode doesn’t have as much Klance as s1e6 but then we have

SEASON 3 EPISODE 6

and holy fucking shit guys

which opens with Lance looking a little bi flag-ish again

with the blue suit and the red gun and the purple lighting on him and the gun and the everything

anyone else think maybe they kept their original suit colours just so lance could look a little more bi from now on?

and he’s got his eye on the targets

and he tells the “team” he’s gonna cover them but immediately brings his scope over to just one team member… *coughs*

and he just, y’know, follows keith for a while and watches him… instead of watching the enemy or any of his other teammates…

and then like two scenes later we have Lance’s “holy shit I’m bi” look and him flirting with Shiro (kinda)

and then we get multiple shots for the rest of this scene of Keith just glaring at Lance and looking thoroughly unimpressed (like he was when Lance flirted with Nyma… and Allura…)

and the very next scene starts with Keith still looking pissed 

and standing in front of his door like this when someone knocks on it, like he’s really not up for this shit right now

and then the door opens and it’s this vulnerable looking Lance

and Keith just immediately steps aside and lets go of that “I’m gonna fight anyone who dares to talk to me right now” stance

and Lance says he wants to talk about something and Keith looks so worried and then happy that he trusts him and tries to keep the atmosphere light for poor sad looking Lance

and then Lance says it’s because he’s the leader now and Keith’s expression just drops, he eyebrows literally just droop right there and then

and he gets all dejected like he shouldn’t have gotten his hopes up about Lance actually trusting him and thinking they’re close

but then Lance looks so vulnerable and tired and sad and Keith just looks so worried and soft

and he does his best to comfort and reassure him

and when Lance goes to leave he still looks super sad and dejected and Keith calls him back in such a romantic trope kinda way

and then he’s so soft and gentle and smiling and fond and jokes with him to try to lift his spirits

and Lance clearly appreciates it and look at this soft fond look he gets in return

and in the very next scene, they need to take the lions out, only like Lance said there are six paladins and only five lions, but Keith knows that Lance thinks he’s the one who will end up with no lion so before anyone else even has a chance to say anything, Keith voluntarily gives up the black lion and opts to stay at the castle so Lance won’t have to give up Red

and then when they’re on the Galra ship we have Keith looking to Lance when he’s deciding to go off on his own, and Lance agreeing with Shiro that Keith needs to stick with the rest of them while looking very worried about Keith

and then we have the fight with Lotor’s generals where Lance is bowled over by the force of a shot and Keith is sprinting to his aid before he even hits the ground

and right after that we get Lance saving Keith’s ass when he’s caught off guard and almost gets hit right in the face

he’s got you buddy

and then keith is so busy giving the softest of smiles to lance that he forgets he’s mid-battle and lets one galra general run by him and is almost blindsided by another one

anyway this post has ended up waaaaay longer than I was expecting considering I’m only talking about klance moments in THREE EPISODES but basically the point is that every episode 6 so far has been blessed and full of klance goodness and I think that season 6 is where we’ll get some canon klance and season 6 episode 6 will probably be beautiful if these are anything to go by

this has been a uh… a PSA I guess… that was… really far too long I am so sorry

but like… if there’s this much klance in three episodes alone then like… I dunno why anyone thinks it wont be canon at this point

On Prompto’s Bar Codes

Disclaimer: I am a scientist. (Neurochem)I know this doesn’t work in real life applications, but I thought it was interesting to see anyways.


So I threw this numbers into GenBank – NIH genetic sequence database just for fun because I was drunk one day. They are associated with some pretty interesting DNA sequences.

The bottom number there is part of a retrovirus.  An ENV protein specifically.  It would trigger a conformational change, allowing for binding of the fusion protein. So what does that mean fro Prompto? Well,  retroviral vectors are the most widely used delivery vehicles to integration genes into chromosomes of affected cells. So he’s a “knock in” animal for sequences that would allow him to change. For fantasy purposes, we could say he’s He’s been genetically programed to mutate.

This 01987 – that’s a fun one. It’s swine IL-alpha. I work with ILs on a daily basis and they are used as markers for “something gone wrong.” For instance, if I take a tissue from a stressed animal vs a nonstressed animal, the stressed animal will have produced more IL-alpha. It is the marker various immune responses and and hematopoiesis (The production of all types of blood cells). This cytokine is released in  response to cell injury, and thus induces apoptosis. (cell death) That is to say, he’s durable. He can regenerate blood cells, including his immune system white blood cells, to ward of disease and infection. Then he has the ability to kill off and clear out the “bad cells” faster too. It’s even been implicated in protection from gamma radiation (meteor anyone?) But this is not without consequence. Its a marker for inflammation, neuro-degenerative diseases, and diabetes. So, he’s sturdy, but he’s also set up for a lot of problems later. Implication? He’s not made to live long. He’s made of pig and virus parts because he’s disposable.

And the best bit? NH. He’s non human. He’s a non human primate. Therefore he wouldn’t be afforded personhood.

Edit: Feel like I should say too that he’s properly coded. As in you put non-human primate codes on their outer wrist so it’s scannable when they grip the bars. He should have had a chip implanted at that age which should be in his right bicep. Maybe it rejected and he covered it with that bandana?

How to comfort the signs

“Avoiding a problem can either solve it or make it hundred times worse.”

Aries: Try to distract them, but don’t avoid them problem. Talking to them about the problem first will make them feel better, but to boost their mood, try doing something they enjoy doing or take them on a random trip, even if it was just to the closest cinema.

Taurus: Give them or talk to them about something they like. If you know this Taurus well, you might know about some little things they like, such as animals, or something from science. Maybe they’re passionate about tea! Whatever that is, try to make them feel comfrotable by either bringing or talking about one of those things.

Gemini: Debate with them about how their problem and how they feel. Ask them “like a journalist”, meaning you’ll use questions starting with What, How, When,… to help them analyze their situation from many sides.

Cancer: What might sometimes help is to tell them that things could be much worse. Be careful when you use this though. I wouldn’t recommend using this when person is sad or deperessed for a longer period of time, but instead, this can work when they for ex. fail a test or lose their job. Comforting them with food can also help just as much as a hug or listening to their favorite songs.

Leo: Do something spontaneous. Drive far away. Have a movie marathon. Go buy junk food at 1am. It can be something small but it can help cheer Leo up. Help them forget about their problem/feelings at least for a few hours.

Virgo: Help them solve the problem. Virgo will feel better, when they know they did something to help their situation. Plan with them list of things that might make them feel better and then do them all.

Libra: Compliment them. Tell them about how important they are to you. Make them feel loved. And if you can, bring some ice cream and hot chocolate, watch their favorite movie and just spend some time with them.

Scorpio: If you’re close to them, don’t be afraid of physical contact. Small thing such as hug or back rub can make them feel much better. What also helps is the good old listening. Making Scorpio feel loved and valued will make them feel better!

Sagittarius: Similary to Leo, try to make them forget about their problem for a bit. Maybe, if they have some sort of weird habit or a favorite place to go, take them there! (or in the case of habit, do it whatever it is). Sometimes, having a long convo with Sag will help too, depends on a person.

Capricorn: Listen to them. That’s it. It might sound too obvious or general, but Capricorn often feel like no one truly listens to them, and giving them your full attention while they talk about something that’s bothering them will definitely make them feel better.

Aquarius: Let them talk. Sometimes, they won’t want to talk about what’s bothering, but that’s just how they are. I’d say sitting down with them and telling them that they can really trust you might make them listen. And then, don’t say anything and let them just spill everything out.

Pisces: Try to show them that you understand how they feel. Just like Scorpio, if you’re close to this Pisces, hugging them can make them feel much better. Also try asking them what can you do for them. Sometimes Pisces wants to talka bout things, but sometimes they just need an alone time.

Harry Potter can’t sleep (and neither can Draco Malfoy)

prompt: pillow covers (thanks @miniemcgee)
<5k

Fuck this, Harry thinks, listening to the rustle of Malfoy’s sheets as the insufferable git rolls over for what has to be the fifth time in as many minutes. And fuck McGonagall for assigning Draco Malfoy, of all people, to be his roommate. No wait, Harry immediately takes this back. Even in his internal monologue he isn’t comfortable disrespecting McGonagall.

Still Malfoy is a nightmare to dorm with. Merlin, Harry would much rather be having a nightmare – at least then he’d actually be sleeping! Malfoy tosses and turns all night. He gets up and visits the bathroom two-three times every night. What, does he have a bladder the size of a peanut? It’s ridiculous.

All Harry wants is to sleep. All Malfoy seems to do every night is make as much noise as possible. Harry mentions it to Ron once at breakfast. Even though all the eight years have been given new shared “houseless” dorms, thankfully they’re still allowed to sit at their house tables. Harry is incredibly grateful for this. It’s bad enough staying awake all night listening to Malfoy, he’d hate to have to put up with him in the daylight as well.

“What the bloody hell are you talking about?” Ron asks.

“He makes noises, Ron, in his bed. All night!” Harry explains, desperate for someone to understand his frustration. It’s constant, night after night. Rustle rustle rustle.

Ron looks at Harry like he’s lost his mind, a faint blush on his cheeks. Harry doesn’t bring it up again.


Draco is tired. So very tired. He can’t remember ever not feeling tired. It’s been so long since he’s been able to really sleep. At least two years, maybe more. Probably more. He thought things would change after the Battle of Hogwarts. That Voldemort’s death would give him peace. But it hasn’t. Nothing seems to. He doubts anything ever will.

Every night it’s the same. He lies in bed desperately willing himself to sleep, for his body to give in and relax. But the relaxation never comes. Sure he gets bits of rest here and there but it’s always fleeting, never enough. The morning takes a lifetime to arrive and yet, somehow, it’s always too soon.

Tonight he studies late in the library. He pushes himself to remain for as long as possible. What’s the point in going to bed anyway? Finally the exhaustion becomes too much for him and he heads back to the dorm, all the while knowing the exhaustion isn’t enough to grant him sleep. It never is.

His dorm is dark. Potter must already be in bed. He is surprised by how early all the eighth years go to bed. In Slytherin lights out was always well after midnight. Unfortunately, not many others from Slytherin have returned to Hogwarts to back him up on this. So everyone seems to retire by 10pm every night.

He stumbles around the dark room, trying to be quiet, his arm reaching out in front of him searching for his bed pole to grasp, while his eyes adjust. There. Using the bed post as a guide, he lets himself fall into bed.

Ah. His body crumples inwards, pleased. It takes all Draco’s determination to keep his body upright throughout the day when all he wants to do is collapse. His body craves for sleep all day and then when he finally gets to bed, nothing. Yet another restless night.

Except today something feels different. His pillow is softer somehow, his blanket warmer. There’s something else too.  A strong, commanding scent he’s never noticed before. He breathes in deeply and lets it wash over him. Grapefruit. Honey. Ginger. It’s comforting. And familiar. He takes another breath. And another. His eyes close.

Keep reading

The Holy Grail of Sam Wilson Fanfic Recs

A list of recommended Sam-positive fanfics and authors by @lunaaltare and @unclesteeb. For more information on how this list was created, click here. 

Just a special reminder to check out @samwilsonbirthdaybang! Let’s keep creating awesome works!

Thank you to everyone who contributed to this list in any way!! HAPPY READING!

Holy Grail of Sam FanFic Recs And Authors:

Dreadnought by lunaaltare [Sam/Steve/Bucky, 60k, Explicit]

It’s 2015. So when a Nazi organization bags and kidnaps a bisexual black man to be their next asset, he guesses they’re trying their hand at this whole progressive thing, too. 

Make Me Your Home by Unclesteeb [Sam/Steve, 3k, Teen]

Sometimes, things need more than dusting and cleaning. Sometimes, things just require a lot of hard work.

When There’s Rain Showers by AmarieMelody [Sam/Bucky, 12k, Explicit]

In which Sam and Bucky are married and have a certain code language.

Humor, fluff, more humor, and gratuitous smut at the end.

Keep reading

8

…I wonder if that was actually a good decision to make there, Kuroo

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when de-stress? we all have those moments when we are exhausted with work but at the same time also overwhelmed and stressed about the rest of the work we got to do. specifically at this time, it’s does good to take a step back and just let go of your worries till the time you start on work again - it’s time to de-stress my folks :’)
      - i bring you a list of things which will help you calm your mind and take control of yourself; let’s begin!!


to calm down your mind after a stressful day

  • cuddle with pets (or better, with stuffies!!)
  • got those 8 hours of sleep? If not, jump in to take a nap!
  • meditate, at least for 5-10 minutes - take control of your mind
  • drink lots and lots of water!! (doesn’t help you to de-stress in real sense, but helps you feel a lot better)
  • listen to some calming music (rain sounds, ambient music whatever suits your taste!)
  • or blast out pop music and dance around to release tension
  • workout till you’re sore. don’t stop. (this helps I swear, bc you just feel really tired to even worry)
  • talking to fam or friends (or me!!) about what’s stressing you out
  • live in the moment. stop worrying about things on which you don’t have control on and about future work. what’s going to come will come; it doesn’t do good to worry about them.

some calming things to do

  • try making a beautiful new bullet journal spread; put a lot of effort in it
  • maybe paint? draw? (personally, drawing flowers help me relax)
  • eat your comfort food; cook it yourself too
  • do a bit of reading out of your favourite book (we the #nerds)
  • close your eyes and think about happy moments and nothing else
  • practice something which takes patience like calligraphy, sewing or just planting a sapling
  • have cake and chocolate or sweet stuff bc sweet things are amazing always
  • self care!! my personal favourite!! put on that face mask, listen to your favourite music and take a long long bath using bath bombs!! such royalty haha
  • drink hot chocolate or green tea :’) no coffee though, pals
  • become a child. notice the small things - they’ll give you much more joy than fancy parties and pricey things will do (e.g. sing nursery rhymes, play hide and seek, go out in the sunshine and get an ice - the list goes on!)
  • watch nice YouTube videos!! hint: routine videos specially night ones are wonderful to watch and are always super relaxing!!
  • call over some friends, have a sleepover and giggle about stupid things (e.g. my sister and I are the absolute riots, we were giggling about nursery rhymes the other day; she’s like twiiinkhle twiiinkhle luly staryyy; basically messing up the lyrics - lowkey cracked me up hahaha)
  • sometimes though, just starting on the work that you had been procrastinating on will help you relax bc you are getting work done
  • lastly, sTOP worrying and stressing!! stressing about stupid things is the main reason why you feel overwhelmed; so stop fam!!

have a wonderful day, love!! I hope this list helped you in some way!! :-)

go check out my other masterposts here and you can always sent in a request for a masterpost as my ask box is always open!! (´。• ᵕ •。`) ♡
love, Taylor xo

A dog person - Young!Sirius x Reader

Warnings : nope, maybe the GIF that personally makes me weak

Words : 2.8k

Request : yes

Note : it’s the imagine that I wrote a few days ago and that was deleted somehow, I’m sharing it again now. I know some people had the same request but anywayyyyy (thank you to the ppl who told me to post it again btw❣️). I just imagined a Patronus for Pettigrew, don’t mind it if it bothers you. I loved this request and got a bit carried away, it was just so damn cute.


Originally posted by bentbarnes


Even at Hogwarts everybody hated monday mornings, as they symbolized the end of the weekend, the return in class and especially, implied a lot of exhaustion. In fact, everybody except the 6th years, because to them Monday morning meant Defense Against the Dark Arts. Here you were, at your usual seat next to the wall on the first row. The classroom 3C had probably the biggest windows out of all the Turris Magnus, unfortunately you were too short to observe the view -everybody was- but you still tried to take a look everytime. You were on tip-toes, taking advantage of the fact that your teacher had not yet arrived to make another attempt.


« You know Y/N, I really enjoy the view you’re offering me when you stand up like this in front of me, but I think you should just sit down as our dear Professor is here. » whispered Sirius behind you. Your cheeks turner red as you did what he said, sighing in exasperation and trying to focus on the tall man standing in front of the class. Sirius knew his little seduction game made you feel a bit flustered and that was exactly why he liked doing it so much, he didn’t want you to be uncomfortable, he was only joking and you knew it. Out of the four Marauders, you spent most of your time with him or Remus, who actually introduced you to the others after meeting you at the library.


« Today I will try, and please notice that I said try, to teach you something that I know most of you have been waiting for. » said your teacher solanemly, holding his hands together behind his back. « The majority of witches and wizards are not able to produce it for it requires patience, concentration and determination. You probably guessed it already, I am talking about the Patronus charm, one of the most powerful defensive charms that exist.»


Immediatly, everybody started to whisper enthousiasticly to their neighbors, and even Lily who usually was the definition of the model student seemed hysteric. You smiled when you saw her, her dazzling hair flying in the air while she turned around towards the boys, already beginning to discuss on the shape their patronus would take. James had already managed to produce one and it was a deer just like his animagus. He could be turbulent, sometimes even insolent, but nobody could deny that he was an incredibly talented wizard just like Remus who was sitting next to him. Strangely, he stayed away from the general euphoria which spread in the class, playing almost nervously with his hands. You frowned, ready to ask him what was going on when your teacher knocked two times on the desk with his fists. The noises stopped and everybody looked at him once again.


« To produce a Patronus, it is necessary to concentrate on your most beautiful memory, and only this one. Find the memory that warms your heart the most and say clearly, wand in hand : expecto patronum. » Suddenly, a silver eagle flew from his hand and in the classroom. It was both beautiful and captivating. « This requires training, today we shall satisfy us with approaching the theoretical side of it and in the next class, I hope that you will be ready. Just know that it is difficult to obtain a corporeal patronus, and that its purpose is not to be beautiful, but to protect you from Dementors. Whether it is a rat, cat or lion, its power will be the same : the partonus is a shield, a messenger and a protector. »


He kept speaking during the whole following hour, adding that even if the animal shape the Patronus took did not define its strenght, it could mean something important for the wizard. Leaving the class everybody had only an idea in head : discover what their patronus was. The four boys, Lily and you had mutually decided to train together by the lake this afternoon. But right now you were going to eat, Sirius and James led the group speaking loudly and walking way too fast. Behind and standing by your side, Lily seemed to explain to Peter the details he had not understood. You left them silently to join Remus who walked at the back, alone, head low and dragging his feet. He raised his head when he saw you were waiting for him and turned the gentle smile you were giving him back to you. Interlacing your arm in his, you jumped at the opportunity to be alone with him to ask him what was wrong. Remus sighed, he seemed embarrassed and you strated to worry. He looked around to be sure no one was listening and then he bent a little towards you.


« I’m afraid my corporeal Patronus gives too much away, if you know what I mean. I already tried with James and it almost worked, and I swear I saw a long hairy tail before the light went off. » He whispered, biting his lip « With you guys it doesn’t matter, but if anyone else sees it… » He didn’t finish his sentence but you knew what he meant. Remus had always suffered because of his lycantropia, his parents and him had a nomadic life before he came to Hogwarts thanks to Dumbledore. Everytime someone started to be suspicious, they left and the little Remus never got to make friends. Even now that he had friends, really good ones, he was still afraid someone would found out. Taking his hand in yours, you squeezed it gently so he knew he wasn’t alone and you were here for him.


« We can practice alone another day if you want to be sure, you don’t have to do it today if you don’t want to. »

« I think that’s a good idea, thank you Y/N. »



Around 4pm, you sat in the green grass which lined the lake, between Sirius and Peter who seemed strangely concentrated into tearing away the petals of a flower one by one. You turned around towards Sirius who was already looking at you. You felt your cheeks burn a little when he did not look away which made him laugh, revealing his white teeth and his dimples.  He was a handsome young man, really, and you never knew if you just found him attracive or if it was something more. Anyway, you came back to reality when James showed up, back from his Quidditch session. A proud smile could be seen on his face as per usual, and it grew even bigger when a bunch of Gryffindor girls passing by stared at him like he was a piece of art, or a piece of meat. It always made Sirius giggle but Lily just rolled her eyes every single time.


« Did you mess your hair up on purpose again just so you can look like some Quidditch rock star ? » suggested Remus, looking quite amused. 

« You’ll be authorized to criticize my hair when your furry little problem will be solved, Moony chéri. » teased James, winking before he spoke again while turning around « Let’s get started folks, why don’t we let the Lilliputian try first. »


Eveybody laughed, James flirting with Lily was the funniest thing ever, especially when he came up with these strange nicknames but you had to admit that for once it wasn’t so bad. She stood up, pointing her wand towards him which caused him to slightly move to the side.


« In fact I’m two months older than you Potter, show me some respect. » Remus, Peter and Sirius giggled while James seemed outraged, but before he could come back with anything Lily exclaimed, her wand pointing to the sky « Expecto patronum ! »


You held your breath just like the others while slowly but very clearly, from the tip of her wand, a bright silvery light started to burst before fading out. She tried again multiple times with James giving her advices and finally, a tall and gracious doe was running in the air, following the rythm of Lily’s laugh. Her green eyes were wide opened, she seemed proud and happier than ever. You all applauded, Peter even took a bow.


« It’s strange, isn’t it ? Your patronus is a doe and Potter’s one is a deer. If it isn’t a sign, I don’t know what it is. » teased Sirius, winking to Lily. Her cheeks turned bright red before she exlaimed « Simple coincidence, that won’t make me go out with you any sooner Potter. »


Finally you formed little groups, James and Lily stayed together, Sirius was with Peter and Remus with you. This way, the others didn’t pay attention to the fact that Moony wasn’t really trying to practice and he was pleased about it. You tried to remember all the informations your teacher gave you this morning, and took a deep breath. You hoped it would work but as Lily said again and again, it was a difficult spell and it was normal if you didn’t succeed on your first tries. For what felt like an hour you persisted, repeating the two little words again and again, sometimes managing to produce a little shiny light at the end of your wand. But no animal, nothing. Frustrated you sighed noisily, which caught the attention of Remus, Sirius and Peter. The two others seemed too busy arguing about who-knows-what, and anyway they did not really need to practice anymore. Seeing your disappointment, Sirius smiled softly before suggesting to the boys to train together and that he would help you. After all if that did not work so well that way, you could try.


« I can’t do it either, you know. Maybe it’s because you distract me. » he suggested, teasing you once more with a grin on his face.

« That’s not funny Sirius. » you whined, a pout on your lips.


He looked at them for a bit too long before coming back at your eyes. Finally he stood behind you, his chest pressed against your back. You were thankful he was behind, at least he couldn’t see your burning cheeks but it wasn’t finished yet because you could now feel his strong hand taking yours, holding your wand with you while the other one was placed on your hip. Your heart was racing and you were probably shaking too because he laughed soflty, speaking soflty.


« Maybe you’re not thinking about your happiest memory. Close you eyes, the first one to come to your mind is probably the good one, focus on it. »


Even if his body pressed against yours and his breath crashing on the thin skin of your neck did not help you at all, his soft and low voice was relaxing and you now thought of nothing else. You no longer heard the sound of the wind in the trees, nor the murmur of the water of the lake, you did not see your friends staring at you a little farther : it was his voice and his body near you that occupied all your mind. You closed your eyes as he had suggested, and with trembling lips you pronounced the two words « Expecto patronum. » You opened your eyes slowly, just in time to see a magnificent light spraying out, more powerful than what you had managed to do until then. It grew larger, Sirius’s hand still held yours and guided the movements of your wand.
After a few seconds, you saw it. In front of you stood a brilliant, tall and perfectly formed dog. But it was not a common dog, you had seen this one several times already and you recognized it immediately. You understood that Sirius did too when you felt his fingers release your hand smoothly and his body move back slowly. Your concentration broke and the big dog disappeared. You did not dare to turn around, both shocked and mute, because you finally knew what your patronus was. And it was him. It was Padfoot.



You stood there, sitting on your bed without knowing what to do or even what to think. After the events of the afternoon you quickly ran away, stammering that you did not feel well and that you were going to rest. But everyone had seen the same thing as you, and everyone knew that your patronus was none other than Sirius Black himself, or at least his animagus form. You tried to convince yourself that it was just a simple dog, but you knew what you saw. Maybe it didn’t mean anything at all, maybe it did. It probably did. Sirius and you had been friends for years and even though he liked to tease you all day long, it had never been more than a platonic relationship. As you kept thinking about this, images started to come to your mind. The day you met, how funny you found him, yet annoying. The first time you sat together in class, and how you spent the hour drawing stupid things on each other’s books. That time in 4th year when he punched a guy who insulted you, and definitely got a detention for it. When one of his pranks hurt you and he brought you chocolate and flowers to make it up. The time he hugged you so tight after Gryffindor won the house cup that you thought he was going to choke you. Maybe he wasn’t just a friend after all, and it took you a couple of years and a patronus to realize it. A knock on your door made you lift your head up, the person did not let you any time to answer and entered the room.


« Can I come in ? » asked the black haired boy.
« A bit too late to ask, isn’t it ? »


Sirius did not answer, he just closed the door leaving you both alone in the dorm. He sat next to you, your knees barely touching, but not a word was said. You looked at the floor for a few seconds before you saw him turning his head to you from the corner of your eye. Slowly, you looked at him too, your heart skipping a beat when you met his dark grey eyes.


« Why did you leave earlier ? You missed something, we learnt that Peter’s patronus is a mole. »
« You know why I left. » you said, smiling slightly at the end.
« You don’t have to be embarassed about it. » he shrugged « But I have to admit that I thought it would be something else. »
« Like what ? »
« A penguin. »


You scoffed, clearly not especting that answer. Sirius looked at you curiously, he didn’t seem to understand why you were chuckling but he still smiled when he heard your laugh.


« What ? They’re cute and funny, everyone likes penguins. » he smirked.
« Nope, you’re probably the only person to fancy penguins that much. »
« Well I don’t try to hide it. You shouldn’t either. »


His last words were whispered in your ear before he placed a soft kiss on your shoulder. You knew what he meant, and you couldn’t act as if the butterflies flying in your stomach weren’t here. He bent down to give you another kiss, on the cheek this time, but the weight of his body made you both fall back on the bed. You laughed as he found himself lying on top of you and for the first time since you met him, you saw a light shade of red on his cheeks. You stayed like this before he kissed your forehead, and then your nose. You smiled and he looked at your lips, and back at your eyes again. Your hands made their way to the back of his neck as he brushed your lips with his own, without ever pressing them together. Your heartbeating probably echoed throughout the entire room, or maybe it was his own. He smirked again when he saw the look full of frustration and desire you gave him, biting his lip and kissing the corner of your lips and then your cheek, before whispering in your ear again.

« I always knew you were a dog person. »

And after that he finally pressed his lips against yours, tenderly, as if you were the most precious thing in the world.

“My mom is better than yours” - Batmom x Damian Wayne

Summary : The Kent family have invited your family over for dinner, and of course, as usual, Damian and Jon don’t quite…behave. 

I just wanted to write a short little cute fic with Damian and his mama because I just love the idea of Damian being super proud of his Batmom and blahblahblah maybe it’s a bit too long sorry. I hope you will like it

My masterlist blog : https://ella-ravenwood-archives.tumblr.com

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Bruce thought it was extremely cute, how Damian’s eyes always seem to shine when looking at you. How his face brightens. Even how ashamed he is when you scold him when he’s too cocky, or simply being a plain brat. 

The kid thought you were just the best damn thing on this planet. 

He admired everything you did…

The Batman had to admit it, sometimes, he was a bit jealous. 

But mostly, he just thought it was really cute, to see his boy completely accepting you as his mother. Hell, he was even calling you “Mama” (damn period dramas) now !

You were the one he considered his mom (Talia actually tried to kill you a few times because of that, jealous beyond everything of you and the love “her” son seemed to have for you…She tried harder when Damian told her that she was “never his mom”, that you showed him what a real mother was, and also, when she realized how in love Bruce was with you, while she had to drug him to get him to sleep with her…Yeah, pretty jealous. You always pulled through though, mostly thanks to your boys, husband and superfriends).

Well, to be honest, he never doubted the fact that you’d get along with him. You had a special effect on people. If you really put your mind to it, you can convince anyone to do what you want, you can win anyone’s heart in a little flutter of your damn beautiful eyelashes…

When Damian first met you, he was most disagreeable, and you…grounded him. “Young man, in your room, no dessert for you tonight”, and he was so stunned that he did it, though he didn’t even listen to his father at the time, and thought he knew everything better than everyone ! He knew you only for a few minutes, and he already had more respect for you than for anyone else. 

Sometimes, Bruce suspected that you might be a meta-human, because the power you could have over people with your magnificent aura was…something. But he tested you in every way possible, and he had to admit that, you were just like him. A simple human. A simple human with incredible abilities. 

Yes. Bruce always thought it was extremely cute the way his son, your son to the both of you, almost worshipped you. 

Well, your older kids did too. Again, there was just a way about you…

You started dating Bruce when he first took young Richard Grayson in, about twelve years ago (right after Talia drugged him actually), when he was barely 8 years old and heartbroken because of his parents’ death…And though you were merely twenty, quite younger than Bruce really, you took your job as a surrogate mother for Dick very seriously. Quickly, the boy asked you if he could call you mom, if his own mother would be mad and…well, the hug you gave him was answer enough. Though he was twenty and had his own flat in Bludhaven now, Dick was still quite the momma’s boy. 

It was pretty much the same with Jason. You winked at him and told him it was pretty cool and brave to try and steal the batmobile’s wheels, and boom, you had him wrapped around your little fingers. He lived for your bedtime stories and cuddle when he had trouble sleeping. 

Tim was even easier to treat you like his mom. After only a few months he was already introducing you as his mother, and that was that. Just natural. Unlike Jason and Dick, his birth mother wasn’t exactly…the best, and you gave him a chance to have a real mom. One that would die for her son, do anything for him,  even if it meant staying up all night to sing him soothing songs while he had the flu, putting ridiculous costumes to go trick or treating with him, or, more recently, since he was now 15 (already ?!), gaming with him until you’d both pass out out of exhaustion. 

Quite like Tim, Damian never had the love of a “real” mother. How it should be. The mom taking care of her son, no matter what. Not letting him do whatever he wants, but making sure he’s happy…and so, just like his older brothers before him, he came to simply adore you. 

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College AU Shance where Shiro is still older than Lance (maybe he went to the military out of high school and a few years after the “accident” he decided he was ready to attend college), but Lance is the funny first year gen ed teacher with a buff attractive male student with a prosthetic arm and a cool scar across his face sitting in the front row, smiling at him. All semester said student sends him looks while he’s teaching and Lance thinks he’s gonna die from embarrassment every time he starts stuttering because of it. After the final exam, Shiro stays late so he can finally ask out Professor McClain (not that he hadn’t tried a few times before, but Lance was very strict on his “I don’t date students” rule - mostly just because he was scared of getting fired on his first year - though he’d definitely expressed interest) Lance accepts the date now that Shiro technically isn’t his student anymore. They end up going on a date (and maybe a little more than that), Lance quickly finds out he has a thing for Shiro calling him “Professor” in a low voice.

Also:

“Takashi?” Lance asks, taking roll on the first day.

“I actually go by Shiro. Takashi makes me feel like I’m in trouble.”

“Okay, Shiro it is. I’ll make sure to only call you Takashi when you’re in trouble,” Lance says, perhaps a bit too flirty.

“I’ll try to stay out of trouble then, professor,” Shiro winks, flirting back.

Lance realizes he’s got a long semester ahead of him.

coffee in the morning ;

“I could do that,” he states a minute later, and he nods his heads a few times as if it’s some sort of confirmation as he mulls it over, and you look at him like you’re confused.

“Do what?” You question, and he blinks at you.

“Be your boyfriend,” he says it like it’s the most obvious thing in the world, and it makes your heart beat a bit faster.

“You mean fake boyfriend.”

or

Harry and Y/N work at a coffee shop and he’s never been a good actor

12k+, fluff, smut, ripping of panties mid-fuck, and just a dash of angst

OKAAAY SO, i’ve been dead around here because i’ve been working on this for a few days now! special shoutout to @mermaidsonships for letting me yell about apple (that’s what we named the girlie in this amongst our texts) and harry as well as bounce ideas off of u! i love u sister! i’ve got a fixation of fake bf harry + harry being rly teasing so if u combine those 2 things u get this big mess of a thing! i hope u enjoy!

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This… has been sitting on my computer for a couple weeks. I’m not gonna finish it. But if you’re curious, it’s some thumbnails for the story I mentioned in this sketch dump here x. I just wanted to animate Nick landing in the cage which is why the camera angle doesn’t change (and I wanted to animate him hugging Judy…). The pacing of this is quicker than it would actually be though, because without any dialogue or the Coyote in the scene it would be a lot of Nick pretty much just staring off to the left. …..Anyway. I thought I should post it. Also, I know he doesn’t movie his tail around nearly as much in the movie but drawing Nick’s tail swishing around was fun haha

Sneaky bastard - Bruce Wayne x Reader (NSFW)

Since I have no shame, yet another smutty story (it’s been a while). It’s not just smut though, there’s a plot, and there’s lots of fluff@whovianayesha hope you’ll like it and don’t think it’s total shite, because as usual, I feel like it’s pretty badmaybe I rushed things a bit too much ? I mean, actions gos by too fast and don’t make sense ? EEEEEH I’M ALWAYS SO STRESSED YOU GUYS WON’T LIKE MY WRITING WHENEVER I POST SOMETHING, sorry for being such an annoying angsty woman, I just hope you’ll like  :

WARNING NSFW (smut, don’t read if it makes you uncomfortable, go read my other very safe for work stories instead ;)), LANGUAGE. It’s long, sorry.

(My masterlist blog here : https://ella-ravenwood-archives.tumblr.com)

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If someone would have told you a few weeks ago that you’d save the goddamn Batman, you’d probably would have laughed in their faces. It seemed so ridiculous, that a rookie such as you, who literally joined the forces not even a month before, would ever save a man like the Dark Knight. 

And yet, it happened. And it was wicked awesome.

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He was fighting a bunch of thugs in a back alley, when you came by. You weren’t even gonna intervene, you knew the man, you already saw him roaming Gotham City before you became a cop, he could definitely handle himself…But then, you noticed one of the guy he was fighting take a few steps back, and draw a gun. It was pointed right at the bat’s head and he was going to pull the trigger in a matter of seconds ! 

You didn’t think, you acted. You jumped in the alley, surprising all of them, and with an expertly done high kick, you got the gun out of the man’s hand, knocking him down with a mean left hook. Damn, you turned into a total badass under the adrenaline ! 

Batman quickly got rid of the las few thugs, and turned to you. Suddenly, you didn’t feel that excited anymore, the man was impressive. So tall. Large. Muscular. Yeah ok, he was totally sexy. 

He turned his weird glowy white gaze on you, and, with a voice too rough and low to be human, asked you : 

-Are you alright ? This was very foolish to jump in like that, I didn’t need your help. You could have been very hurt. 

-Yeah I’m alright, and like Hell you didn’t need my help, I totally saved your life dude, be more thankful ! Jeez louiiise. 

-…

-Wow. Ok. So you’re an ass. 

-The ass can give you a ride to the nearest hospital, you’re bleeding. 

-What ? 

He pointed to your arm, and…oh. Yeah. You got shot. Damn. 

-I didn’t even feel it…

-Must be the rush of epinephrine in your blood. Come on, follow me. 

-Wow wait, you’re gonna give me a ride…in the batmobile ?! 

-Do you see any other car ? Climb in, and do not touch anything. 

You tried to keep your cool. To act like it was no big deal…but the adrenaline in your veins doubled in volume as you sat in the car you so often dreamt of riding when you were a child. Fuck this was great ! 

He drove you to the nearest hospital, without saying a word, and almost threw you out of the car. Ass. 

Your wound wasn’t deep, a bullet just grazed you and you only needed a few stitches, you were out two hours later. You went home by foot, because walking always cleared your mind, and damn it needed to be clear right now. Anyway, you weren’t living too far away. 

You just saved the Batman ! YOU JUST SAVE THE BATMAN !! 

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I don’t know how

Warning: mentions of childhood abuse (in the past, not graphic), suicidal thoughts and mental health issues. (All ends well though)


Draco’s eyes were burning. Not because he was about to cry or anything, but because he was ridiculously tired. He’d been working on his transfiguration essay for over an hour now, and it had already been way past midnight when he started. 

He figured that if the nightmares would keep him from sleeping, then tossing and turning in his bed wasn’t going to do any good either. That was why his nights were filled with homework, empty bottles of cheap pepper up (he couldn’t afford anything else since his father had disinherited him for his failure to capture Harry during the battle of Hogwarts), spell practice and reading these days. 

All of this hard work was starting to take its toll on his body though. His hands were shaking near constantly, without glasses he couldn’t see shit and he was unable focus for more than half an hour. Other people might think that was still quite a lot, but it wasn’t for someone who used to manage seven hour break-less study sessions. The perks of being one of the world’s best occlumences

“Oh, you’re still up.” Draco didn’t need to look around in order to know who’d just entered the common room. 

“Of course I’m still up, Potter. Are you going to ask that every time you see me here in the dead of night?” Draco sighed. He knew he shouldn’t bitch to Harry, but he also knew that he’d screwed up his relationship with the man bad enough over the past few years in order to be sure they’d never get along. He might be long over their childhood quarrels, but Harry surely wasn’t. Draco had fucked up too many times for that. 

“I think I am, yes.” Harry replied to Draco’s rhetorical question. Idiot. “Maybe then you’ll realise how fucked up it is that you don’t go to bed at all." 

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;currents | (m)

pairing— jung hoseok x reader
genre/warnings— smut, fluff, slight angst (this is low-key cute and sad at the same time, my heart)
words— 5,959

:: summary: you’ve been in a long-distance friendship with Hoseok for a couple of years, hiding feelings that you think he may also reciprocate. What happens when you finally cross paths with him again…

note. based on a request. Named after this song here. Also, periods of italics indicate the characters are speaking English!

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