this is literally the cutest thing i've ever read

  • CDM: This is a question we're asking everyone for our next issue: what's the most despicable thing you've ever done?
  • Patrick: Ooohhh despicable... I'm so despicable. So this is really mean, it's probably the most cold-hearted thing I ever did. There was this spider in my shower - and I'm usually very kind to all of the creatures of the world - and you feel very vulnerable when you're naked, and I didn't really want to be near this spider he was kinda big and gnarly looking. I kept splashing water on him to get him to go away, but he wouldn't budge, he was very happy where he was and I was very uncomfortable with that. So I gave him a lot of chances, I gave him a lot of little splashes, and I reached for a paper towel or something to squash him with and there was nothing. The only thing that I could reach in the shower was this hairspray. So I hairspray-ed this spider to death, which was awful. I felt like such a jerk. It was really, really harsh. And then I crushed it because I felt like I was putting it in a lot of misery. I feel very, very bad about that.
The reason I made Young Frankenstein (1974) was because when I was 5 or 6 years old, I was scared out of my wits by James Whale’s Frankenstein (1931). I could not get images of Boris Karloff’s face out of my head. I would see him in every alley and around every dark corner. One very hot night in July, I asked my mother to close my bedroom window. In Brooklyn in 1931, there was no such thing as air-conditioning. I explained that Frankenstein (that is what we mistakenly called The Monster) was out to get me! And since my bedroom window was on the fire escape, it would be easy for him to climb up and crush me like a bug. My mother patiently explained that he would have to crawl out of his burning cellar in Transylvania and find the money to buy a railway ticket to get a train to take him to Hamburg. He would then have to raise the money to buy a boat ticket to get from Hamburg to New York City. When he landed in New York, he would have to find the right subway train to take him to Brooklyn. He would have to ask a lot of people to find out where I lived, and she was sure nobody would tell him. I said, “Okay, leave the window open!” And that’s why I’m alive today.
—  Mel Brooks

anonymous asked:

Aaaaaaah I'm too shy to turn off anon but can I just say that I followed you a pretty long time now and you're just SO AMAZING AND TALENTED AND I DONT KNOW YOU PERSONALLY BUT YOU HONESTLY DESERVE THE BEST THINGS IN THE WORLD I WOULD DELETE MY TUMBLR SO FAST IF IT WERENT FOR YOU BECAUSE YOUR WORK IS JUST SO INCREDIBLE uh sorry I think I might've let my emotions slip a bit.. So yeah you're uh. Pretty cool....... And thanks for making your tumblr.

Okay, so I honestly cried a little bit when I read this because WOW. I am overwhelmed by how kind you are, you delightful Anon. Thank you so much for sending this message. After a long couple of days it was a spectacular thing to find in my inbox. It’s messages like this one, and people like you, who make me want to keep this blog going. Without you guys, this blog probably wouldn’t exist anymore. So seriously. Thank you. <3