this is literally how being nonbinary is

anonymous asked:

So we all know that for NO GOOD REASON boys tend to take their shirt off by grabbing the collar and pulling up like a shirt coccoon, and girls tend to do it by crossing their arms and pulling up like a... Banana being peeled upside down? Sue me that's the best I got. Anyway this made me very curious about my nb buds. HOW DO YOU TAKE YOUR SHIRT OFF ALEX. THIS ISNT ME BEING PERVY, I NEED THE ANSWER FOR SCIENCE

there actually is a reason! it’s because t-shirts bought in the “men’s” section tend to have larger armholes, which allows them to be pulled off by the collar. “women’s” shirts have smaller arm holes so you literally get stuck if you try doing it that way so most ppl do it from the hem… and I guess I have a nonbinary ass answer for you bc I actually don’t take my shirt off either way– I stick my right hand under my shirt and push down my left arm hole so I can pull my left arm out and then push my collar over my head and then off my right arm.

most of the people bringing up the subject of bi people + how bi people have been treated similarly to how aces have been treated in ace discourse are bi themselves

most of the people bringing up the subject of nonbinary people + how nonbinary people have been treated similarly to how aces have been treated in ace discourse are nonbinary themselves

i know it’s easier for exclusionists to vilify asexuals if y'all pretend like they’re the ones constantly “dragging” nonbinary and bi people into the discourse against our will by making “unfair” comparisons but the people who keep bringing up that, hey, the way aces are being treated is eerily damn similar to how bi and nonbinary people have been treated (by which i mean that exclusionsists have literally used the same arguments word for word against aces that have been used against bi & nb folks multiple times) are…bi and nonbinary people….speaking out about our own experiences…and how y'all are doing the same shit to aces that you did to us. wild, i know, but true!

(a l s o let’s not forget that bi aces exist, nonbinary aces exist, and aces who are both bi and nonbinary exist and are more than qualified to compare the treatment they receive for each part of their identity and how similar they are but whatever)

Quantum physics is confusing and most people don’t understand it very well.

So, would you say that because most people don’t get it, therefore, quantum physics must be fake? I would hope not.

People getting confused about you being nonbinary means literally nothing.

Their understanding or lack of understanding effects how hard your life is, but not how true you are.

miscellaneous d&d gender and sex worldbuilding ideas:

elves are completely androgynous and intersex (in the same way clownfish are – reproductively viable in either role). there is no ‘male’ and ‘female’. however, elf society is formed with extremely strict social roles that essentially fulfill a similar function of gender roles in humans. these ‘gender roles’ (for want of a better term) don’t line up 1-to-1 with human gender roles. play with those definitions – there’s tons of room for roleplay and conflict here!

dwarves are not biologically androgynous, though many other races assume they are. they lack tertiary sex characteristics, and also they don’t traditionally have the concept of ‘gender.’ dwarvish lacks gendered pronouns. when dwarves interact with gendered races, they’ll often pick a gender identity for simplicity’s sake (though not always) and this alleged identity may not be the same every time. it’s uncommon, but some dwarves (especially those that travel and experience other cultures) do develop a sense of gender identity. this makes them outliers in dwarven culture.

orc society (and yes, it’s a society) is matriarchal, but although they do have gender, the idea of gender discrimination is quite literally a foreign concept; orcs often explain humanity’s martial inferiority (real or imagined) by their attitude toward gender.

dragonborn are sexually trimorphic and often form poly relationships, like their dragon ancestors, which often leaves them confused when humans talk about ‘two’ genders or sexes. they assume humans just haven’t figured out about the third one yet and are constantly baffled as to how humans reproduce so quickly. however, dragonborn quickly adopted a human-ish idea of gender, though they grasp the idea of being nonbinary way more easily, since they lack a binary altogether. 

tieflings often joke that there are actually three genders: male, female, and tiefling. because of their vastly different appearance to humans, their infernal traits often substitute for traditional human secondary and tertiary sex characteristics, and as such they are often treated as not quite male and not quite female. most, if not all, tieflings lean into it.

halflings are the most similar to humans, but like dragonborn, they typically form poly relationships. however, they don’t require three people for reproductive purposes; they have a ‘the more the merrier’ attitude.

the gender and sex of aarakocra is constantly up for debate. sometimes they’re observed in poly relationships like dragonborn, sometimes they’re monogamous, and sometimes they appear to reproduce asexually, and no aarakocra consulted has ever given a clear answer. the current scientific consensus outside aarakocra culture is that they have a dwarf-like attitude toward gender and are sexually dimorphic. in truth, different aarakocra groups have vastly different experiences – one variant/subspecies may require a committed poly trio to reproduce and mate for life while another is sexually dimorphic but they don’t culturally encourage relationships. attitudes toward gender are similarly variable. 

feel free to nab any/all of these for your own worldbuilding 

Anyway as someone who has been on tumblr for a long ass time, since before tru/scum were ever a thing and during the time they first started out, I feel so amused (in a I-feel-like-I’m-being-gaslighted sort of way) at the new tru/scum line of saying “uwu the things people say about tru/scum aren’t true, we’ve never done anything wrong in our lives, the only reason anyone would be against us is because they’re so mistaken about what we actually stand for, we’re good guys, I promise!” at any criticism they receive.

Because it’s complete and utter bullshit.

I remember the constant barrage of “there are only two genders, nonbinary isn’t real” that came from tru/scum, I remember nonbinary people getting harassed left and right and accused of being “cis invaders” in the trans community, I remember hearing the phrase “special snowflake” so much that this website may as well been the arctic and how it then morphed into “gender trender” and finally settled on “transtrender”, I remember back when tru/scum rarely said jackshit about needing dysphoria to be trans and their entire platform was about denying the existence of nonbinary identities point-blank.

Seriously, I want y'all to think of every awful thing you see being said about/to a-specs today in the ace discourse because 99% of it was shit that was also said about and to nonbinary people by tru/scum just a few years ago, a lot of it literally word for word with nothing changed except aphobes have swapped out ‘nonbinary’ for 'ace’.

I want y'all to think about all of this before you believe for a single second that tru/scum are in any way decent people who just have a kind, wholesome idea of what it means to be trans and that anything bad that’s said about them is a lie. I especially want nonbinary people who call themselves tru/scum to think about the fact that y'all are aligning yourselves with a hate group that has majorly targeted other nonbinary people in the very recent past and attacked our very existence, no matter what they say their stance is on nonbinary people today.

I see tru/scum on here now trying to improve their image, come off as less of the hate group that they are, and completely deny their history as they do it (or put it down to just a few outliers, “okay SOME of us might be bad but not all!”) but the fact remains that they’re a group of people who have actively harmed nonbinary people and whose beliefs still actively harm us as well as other trans people.

Please don’t buy into this new 'rebranding’ they’re doing and let yourself believe that they’re not actually THAT bad because I’ve been here, I’ve dealt with them, and they really, really are.

Exclusionist culture is perpetuating cisheteronormativity.

Hear me out.

According to them, being attracted to no genders is functionally the same as being attracted to only the opposite cis binary gender. As in, they literally claim that aroaces have straight privilege.

According to them, everyone has to have a same or similar gender. Because either you’re “SGA” or you’re straight. So either nonbinary people are all aligned and functionally exactly the same as the binary gender (which isn’t how alignment works) or nonbinary people are being reduced to their agab.

According to them, being attracted to nonbinary people is fetishizing, meaning that the only genders people can be attracted to are men and women. Which… boils right back down to “SGA” vs. straight, because if those are the only two genders you could possibly be attracted to, you’d have to be attracted to the same gender to be not straight, even as someone who is multispectrum.

According to them on those last couple points, nonbinary people either can’t be anything but straight or are, again, lumped in with one of the binary genders. Not that it matters anyway because no one is allowed to be attracted to us.

Like… I thought we were supposed to stand in direct opposition of cisheteronormativity? Well, I guess the exclusion of whoever is the en vogue target of the day is more important than that. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

anonymous asked:

What would a nonbinary person be called if they were a magical “girl”?

i mean the easy way out is to use specific descriptors like “magical warrior” or “magical idol” etc
but here’s my hot take
mind you I’m not japanese so feel free to hit me with a broom if it’s nonsense
how about “magical person” being written pretty literally as 魔法人(mahoujin)
not only its gender ambiguous but it’s a pun on 魔法陣(mahoujin, “magical circle”, you know the thingy wizards usually use)

when i tried to explain my gender to my therapist she just got rly confused. b/c like. i go by they/them, im nonbinary (masculine-leaning-but-not-all-the-way), but i told her i felt happy when someone referred to me as he/him in public rather than she/her and that confused her. i told her the reason i was happy was because “at least they didnt see me as a girl” which is my big thing. what confused her was that i was ok w/ being seen as a guy even tho im not one but i tried to explain that i have to take it where i can get it because they/them pronouns, androgyny, nonbinary genders, etc. are very hard for the general public to grasp right now so id rather be seen as a guy than a girl if i have to choose between those two

thats what led into me talking about how i hate how society views me as a girl and thats what led her into saying that im not here to impress anybody and i should stop caring how people view me. but thats literally so hard to do? like yeah i get being confident in my gender identity enough to where someone saying my gender is invalid or smth doesnt affect me b/c thats just who i am and i know that to be true for me, but like…idk. its hard for me to not care when its such a big part of my life. my gender is a big part of my life and i cant help but care about it. i just want people to see me for who and what i am rather than what im not

anonymous asked:

What’s your take on the claim that mlnb/wlnb are fetishizing nb people?

I think it’s BS.

The only reasoning I’ve ever seen people use for why men and women saying they’re attracted to nonbinary people is ‘fetishizing’ is that “not all nonbinary people look the same and not all nonbinary identities are the same so saying you’re attracted to nonbinary people makes no sense!!”…except that this reasoning can also be applied to people saying they’re attracted to men and women.

Not all men look the same or experience manhood in the same way, not all women look the same or experience manhood in the same way, and the difference in appearance and identity between one man and another or one woman and another can easily be the same as the difference in identity and appearance between two nonbinary people - two demigirls or two genderfluid people - between an agender person and a genderqueer person - etc etc etc.

And yet NO ONE is pulling this fetishization argument on wlw or mlm or even straight people. No one is out here saying, “how can you say you’re attracted to women/men? not all women/men look the same! not all women/men have the same personality! are you sure you’re not fetishizing women/men?” because it’s basic common sense that when someone says “I’m attracted to women/men” they don’t mean “I’m attracted to every single woman/man on the face of the earth because to me they’re all exactly the same with no difference between them”. It’s literally no different with mlnb or wlnb and people saying “I’m attracted to nonbinary people”.

Being attracted to nonbinary people (sexually, romantically, platonically) isn’t fetishizing in and of itself. In order for someone to be fetishizng us they would have to see our identities (and us by extension) as nothing more than a turn-on for them, they would have to not care or acknowledge that we are actual people with our own minds and our own thoughts and feelings, they would have to see and treat nonbinary people and nonbinary identities as little more than a means by which they could facilitate their own sexual fantasies and desires. A similar comparison is to look at attraction to women—being attracted to women in and of itself is not fetishizing or harmful, but the objectification of women and seeing them as nothing more than sex objects is, but we know that attraction to women does not automatically mean that someone is fetishizing/objectifying them.  Attraction to nonbinary people (or to people of any gender identity) only becomes problematic when you forget that they are, in fact, people and start to consider your attraction to them to be more real than they are and see them as nothing more than a kink for you.

From everything I’ve seen from mlnb and wlnb and even nblnb, this isn’t what’s going on. People are very simply saying “I’m attracted to nonbinary people” with the same meaning and inflection they have with saying “I’m attracted to men/women” and if people don’t find attraction to men/women to be “fetishizing” then they shouldn’t find attraction to nonbinary people fetishizing either, as literally every argument I’ve seen about the latter can easily apply to the former as well.

anonymous asked:

why did you say that those stats by destinationtoast are poorly done on every level? must've taken them weeks of work to provide all those in-depth analyses/stats and i've found a lot of their posts super useful. yes they should work on providing profiles on poc/other minorities for sure but like ... they are doing this all for free ...

A lot of data has been gathered, and yes, it’s been done for free. I’m not denying the amount of time and energy that had to go into it.

But every data analysis carries with it a perspective, and the data is used to support that perspective. In this case, it’s being used to elide the fact that race and gender are handled pretty terribly in fandom, and because numbers are involved and large parts of fandom are not particularly numbers-literate (tbf, I’m one of them, but am lucky enough to follow a lot of smart people who understand these things and explain them), it’s pretty easy to sway opinion to make people think we’re doing better than we are, whether by skimming over how few fanworks deal with trans and nonbinary characters or by ignoring how fanworks deal with characters of color entirely.

The absolute last thing fandom needs right now is to be convinced we’re doing well.

SU Rewatch: The Pilot

To fill up the space between now and the movie, I’ve decided to rewatch Steven Universe from the very beginning, and record and thoughts or musings that come to mind while rewatching- and also to hunt for potential clues for what we might expect in the future. 

So without further ado, here I go.

Gem Glow

Thoughts so far on the pilot:

I never noticed that the VA track they used for tiny Steven singing in the extended intro video is the same one as Steven singing in this episode. They probably wanted to keep the youngest sounding take they had of Zach singing this song, I assume. XD

I’m glad that they decided to cut the character choice of Pearl and Amethyst poking fun at Steven the way they did, in the long run.

Lars outright refers to the Crystal Gems as the “Crystal Femmes.” (or maybe fem? I’m not sure what the right spelling would be for how he used it.) But anyways, that’s some interesting word choice there that would’ve made the fact that the Gems are all nonbinary women far more contextually obvious from the get go. 

That being said, I forgot how overtly butch lesbian Pearl looks in this pilot and I stan this design. At this point her not having a pointy nose just,,, f e e l s wrong, though XD

Sadie, on the other hand, literally did not change a BIT from pilot to series and it’s kinda incredible to me. Gahhh I love her design! Even Lars is pretty darn close, except for hair.

Some musing on gemstones…

Steven’s gem has a gold band around the rim of it in the pilot. Design wise, that would make it kinda hard to flip on its side to make a diamond (the gold band would then bisect it?) so I wonder if that means Rebecca hadn’t fully come up with the Rose = Pink Diamond plot thread at this point… That’s likely, I figure.

Lars: “You’re not exactly… a hot girl, Steven.”
Steven, to himself later: “Eughhhh, ‘not exactly a hot girl!’ If I was, I definitely wouldn’t be talking to you!”


GodDAMN son that’s some brutal salt. Steven in this ep is just so damn snarky, like a hot knife to butter. All of that for a dang comeback. XD

Garnet’s infinity gauntlets.

anonymous asked:

Does it ever mention genders other than male and female in the bible? How can we be sure its not sinful if the Bible never mentions them; doesn't that make it seem like the only genders are male and female, and that's a given, which is why the bible doesn't Even mention it? Im also confused on how the only marriage the bible mentions is husband/wife. Could you explain this please? I dont mean to be homophobic or transphobic, I just want to be sure the lord is OK with being lgbt+. Thanks!!!

It doesn’t mention nonbinary genders or same-sex marriage in the bible unfortunatly. It does mention somewhere in canon that God and the angels do not have any particular gender, because they are beyond that, because they are literally God and the angels. This is why we can say that God is a “she” “they” or “he” and the only reason that most people call him “he” is because of centuries of patriarchy. 

However, just because it doesn’t mention anything explicity lgbt+ in the Bible doesn’t mean that those identities are not valid. Catholic Social Teaching tells us that God loves all of his children, lgbt+ ones included. It says how lgbt+ people are made that way by God, and that sexuality is not a decision. Furthermore, it calls people to love and accept their lgbt+ children, neighbors and friends, and keep them safe from harm, such as depression and dating older people, that lgbt+ youth often fall into because they feel isolated from their or any other community. 

I hope I helped!

-mod Daerun <3

anonymous asked:

Okay, obvi you have every right to NOT explain yourself, but im trying to understand this... Youre afab, femme, she/her, and comfortable with your body, but identify as nonbinary... What makes you nonbinary? What do you feel that makes you nonbinary? *note this is not an attack or me claiming you are not nb, im just furthering a journey to understanding gender, and I got a bit lost at yours- again feel free to disregard this ask if you dont want to explain yourself*

Nah it’s cool, I think this stuff is important to discuss! Gender is confusing and there is a LOT of policing on this site, which sucks because a lot of people first get exposed to queer stuff here.

So why I identify as nonbinary:

I feel more comfortable being nonbinary.

That’s literally the only requirement there is.

Physical dysphoria isn’t a requirement to being trans/nonbinary, it’s just a common symptom. I get squicky when people refer to me as a Woman™, but I don’t wanna cut off my boobs or take any kind of hormones, basically! I’ve bound my chest a couple of times because I like to do it for certain occasions. But ultimately, I like how my body looks and feels. But my body doesn’t define my gender.

As for the pronouns: pronouns aren’t a label. There are lesbians who use he/him pronouns, nonbinaries who use she/her or he/him, male drag queens who go by she/her even outside of shows… pronouns don’t have to define your gender either! Just use what makes you comfortable.

I use she/her because it sounds cute, and because it’s easier in public, but I go by they/them on occasion too. I just prefer to only have one set of pronouns on my profile right now, but that might change in the future!

Fun fact I actually toyed with the label demigirl, which is essentially “sometimes a girl” or “mostly a girl” but ultimately? I like the label “nonbinary lesbian” better. So I use that. It’s the same as the bi/pan debate, demigirl got the same concept across as femme nb but I prefer the tone/mood of nonbinary over demigirl. Shrug.

Gender is confusing but ultimately, there are no real rules. You do you.


Everybody meet Pikk. My nonbinary Wood Elf Druid that literally died 2 times because our Wizard picked fights with the town guard.

Also being the only Good character in the team drives them to drink heavily.

Wish them luck.

anonymous asked:

this question might sound weird, but i often hear people saying that 'being trans isn't a choice', and i'm not sure what it means ? I mean yeah sure people don't wake up one day and go 'hey i'm going to be trans right NOW' but you can also make the choice to explore your gender and then make the choice to transition so this is kind of confusing me ? transitioning is making the choice to be comfortable in your body, correct me if i'm wrong, so i'd like to know what you think ?

Lee says:

I mean, for some people that might be the case but for other people it’s not really a choice. For a lot of trans people choosing to transition is making the choice to be comfortable in your body, yeah, but that doesn’t mean that if you decide not to transition you aren’t trans. You’re trans no matter what you decide to do about it.

If being trans was a choice, I could just “choose” to be a cis woman because it would be easier being nonbinary but being a woman just isn’t who I am. For me, the only choice is choosing to acknowledge that that I’m trans instead of being in denial about it. You can’t un-choose being trans if you’re trans- it’s who we are, and that’s just how it is.

Before my transition, I was extremely dysphoric which made me really depressed and suicidal and it got to the point where the psychologist leading the intensive outpatient program I was in had me involuntarily hospitalized. I was literally strapped to a stretcher and put in an ambulance. For me, the “choice” was between death and medical transition. 

When I was in the hospital, my treatment team visited me and they tried to convince me that I just had to survive a few months longer until I was able to be on T. The next month I turned 18 and I was able to start T, and my depression decreased enough that I was able to cope with it by continuing therapy and medication. My family didn’t initially support me getting top surgery, but they realized that it wasn’t really a choice for me, I had to do it to be able to live in this body. When I got top surgery a few months later I also had a big improvement in my mental health. 

When I say that being trans isn’t a choice for me, I’m not saying that I didn’t explore my gender and consider what transitioning steps would be best for me. I’m saying that I wouldn’t be able to live my authentic life if I had to be a cis female because I’m not a cis female, and no matter how hard I try I can’t just choose to be one. If I could choose not to transition that would save me a lot of money and time and heartache, but I have to be who I am and so I’m going to make the best of it. I’m proud of being trans because I am choosing to embrace being myself, a nonbinary trans person, but I’m not choosing to be trans. I’m just choosing to accept it. 

Some statistics from a post by mod Ren:

  • Suicide rates dropped from 29.3 percent to 5.1 percent when there was access to transition-related treatment. (De Cuypere, et al., 2006)
  • A meta-analysis of transgender people who transitioned medically demonstrated that the average reduction in suicidality went from 30% pre-treatment to 8% post-treatment, and that 78 percent of transgender people had improved psychological functioning after treatment. (Murad, et al., 2010)
  • In a cross-sectional study of 141 transgender patients who accessed medical transition, suicide fell from 19 percent to zero percent in transgender men and from 24 percent to 6 percent in transgender women. (Kuiper, Cohen-Kettenis, 1988)
  • “Although more evidence would be welcome, adequately treated gender dysphoria is likely to be safer than the untreated condition, which is associated with an enhanced risk of depression and suicide. Reassuringly, few transsexuals regret undergoing treatment.” (Levy, et al., 2003)
  • “Second to social support, persons who endorsed having had some form of gender affirmative surgery were significantly more likely to present with lower symptoms of depression.” (Boza, et al., 2014)
  • “Studies show that there is less than 1% of regrets, and a little more than 1% of suicides among operated subjects. The empirical research does not confirm the opinion that suicide is strongly associated with surgical transformation.” (Michel, et al., 2002)
  • 86% of patients who accessed transition were assessed by clinicians at follow-up as stable or improved in global functioning. (Johansson, et al., 2010)
What I need from Shadowhunters season 3:
  • more Raphael especially talking about his asexuality
  • a nonbinary character, I mean literally like no one in this series is human, why should any of the Seelie fall under the gender binary
  • Amatis Herondale, we really need some awkward conversations with Jace
  • More Max
  • Lilith is gonna be there but how about Asmodeus
  • I need a Magnus and Asmodeus flashback 
  • Ollie and her girlfriend, how is Luke gonna handle Ollie knowing
  • Bat, I want to see so much more of him, he is precious, how does he deal with being a Downworlder, cause Simon took it really easy
  • All that Jordan Kyle drama 
  • plus Woolsey Scott and Magnus, with flashbacks including Camille in 1800s London
  • Catarina Loss and her beautiful blue skin, I’m done with Dot
  • More marine biologist Maia

But if what happened to Raphael in City of Heavenly Fire happens I will start sobbing uncontrollably



Top Pic: Gula (bisexual trans man), Ava (agender gay), Luxu (pansexual nonbinary)

Bottom Pic: Invi (big lesbian), Ira:(genderfluid gay), Aced (just a literal bear yknow)


So many Straight fans literally make posts that are like “what would Yoongi do if he saw you get an injection in the ER because your arm got ripped off” where he is presumed Straight, and where he is presumed Straight in every single one of those react posts or whatever they’re called, but an lgbt fan is like “Yoongi is gay!!!” “Yoongi is bi” “Yoongi is nonbinary!!” and all hell breaks loose. Let lgbt people identify with their idols. Lgbt fans saying stuff like this isn’t harming anyone, period. We already have to live in a heteronormative society where heterosexuality is forced on us constantly, let us yell about how they might be lgbt because we are literally being detrimental to no one.