you know, when i think about it, in their first weekly idol where suga wanted to give a track he produced for doni and coni. strangely, that track sounds like it could belong to his mixtape, because the sound and feel is different from the usual bts music, and we know that he has been working on that mixtape for years now. but here was suga, bearing his heart and soul for the first time on television and doniconi rejected it. and i know they said it’s not their kind of music, but just imagine how suga felt knowing that he made something for someone and they didn’t like it. listening to his mixtape again (for the 5th time), i understand why it took so long for it to be released.
if you’re an artist, especially an artist with an inferiority complex, it’s really hard to share to someone something that is a part of who you are and something that you love and put all your love into, and have it be rejected by someone who you look up to or respect. having it experienced first hand and in the most cruel way, not to mention the layers of insecurities and complexes in my personality, rejection of something that you love and is a part of you can destroy a person.
suga is brave and amazing to be able to share his mixtape with us, knowing that there will be people who will ignore it, dislike it, hate it, even reject it. i’m honored to be able to experience something very personal and raw and emotional, to be able to listen to his hopes, dreams, and happiness, to understand his insecurities, fears, and guilt, to read his careless thoughts and careful words, to know min yoongi the humble and caring human being, and suga the powerful rapper of bts, and agust d a force to be reckoned with, and everything else in between.