June 13th , 2016
Today , I watched my 2nd favorite movie .. Not that I knew it would be my favorite movie because I’ve never seen it before but after I knew that it made the top 5 list (I don’t even have a top 5 list but to be dramatic I said it ). Anyway , the main character in this movie and I relate in ways I’ve never related to anyone before . Each character had a part of me in some way. I cried at least 5 times repeatedly . I felt the same pain at least the whole movie and man ..it sure hit me , hit me hard too.
This movie is called “the perks of being a wallflower” . All the things I’ve ever felt in my life has suddenly made sense ( yes it made sense before but this was a different kind of sense). It made sense in the sense of “I’m not the only one ” . No one likes to feel alone , no one likes to be the only one .
I’ve been replaying certain parts back in my mind and being that I have no real friends I truly get how he could be the way he was . I eat lunch alone (by choice) the cafeteria is way too noisy and crowded but in all honesty if I ate with others id just sit there and laugh at lame ass jokes that are probably half misogynistic or borderline colorist , due to the fact that if I opened my mouth they’d just stare because that is a concept that explaining how wrong it is they can’t comprehend.
99% of the day at school I listen to my music , I always have ear phone in . Even if my phone dies I pretend to be “jamming ” out just so no one talks to me . I’m quiet when I want to be and when I’m not quiet I’m asking questions about what the teacher is teaching or I’m being goofy .
I’m popular in a way of everyone knows my name . There is not 1 person who doesn’t know me . Yet no one ever ask me to parties or the movies or to get some food or even to hang out at the park. But then again would I even say yes if they did ?? ..
A wallflower is someone who sits back and watches everyone else’s life and doesn’t say much . I guess you can say that’s me because I know everything about everyone! Whether they know it or not . My ear is always to the streets (as they say) . I live vicariously through my associates sex life. Weird , I know right..
I stayed up and watched the sunrise today . It was pretty and it calmed me down . I also watched “The diary of a teenage girl” …
Kind of exotic in a way , kind of heart felt , kind of gloomy , kind of up ..
The movie .. Well I’m not going to speak too much after it because then you’d know my secrets ..