this is like my favorite thing to ever happen in the history of ever

here are a bunch of AMAZING fics I’ve enjoyed and loved reading throughout the month of july. I recommend that you read these great fics in august, if you haven’t already!! also check out the HL Summer Fic Exchange - my fic will be posted soon (hopefully)!

(all fics with a star are my favorites and if there are two stars then it was a favorite favorite)


1. Just a Walk in the Park 124k **

It’s 2015, the first time dinosaurs walked the earth in over 65 million years. The multi-billion dollar company, Twist Corporations, is planning a summer opening for their world changing attraction, “Jurassic Park”.

They take an interest in the history making duo of Dr. Louis Tomlinson, a stubborn paleontologist, and his partner, paleobotanist Dr. Liam Payne, giving them the chance of a lifetime to work for the new theme park. Louis is apprehensive, but Liam has a “gut feeling” that it will change their lives. He isn’t wrong.

Featuring Niall as the top engineer to get the park up and running, Zayn as the raptor expert, and Harry as the grandson of one of the most influential men in the world.

2. Let’s Embrace the Point of No Return 33k

Louis was a whole new scale of beautiful, he was richer than Harry could’ve ever imagined, and he was the most powerful, dominant alpha that Harry had ever come in contact with. The only problem now is that Louis is also Harry’s boss.

Louis believed Harry was an alpha, and had no idea about how he had lied about his status just to get an interview with Louis. He was in too deep now and he couldn’t look back.

Or, Harry is an omega intern at an all alpha company. Louis is his boss. There’s some complications.

3. How Could I Ever Forget 14k

After his boyfriend leaves him for a job in New York, Harry vows to move on with his life. A year later when their best friends announce their engagement, Harry knows he’ll be forced to see Louis again and face the truth he’s been trying his best to hide–even from himself.

Or a Vegas AU where Ziam’s bachelor party turns into drunken karaoke, winning thousands at slots, washing your clothes at the laundromat in your underwear, and making life altering decisions that you can’t remember in the morning.

Keep reading

10 Things I Loved About Mass Effect:Andromeda

Warning: Spoilers! And I wrote this on the spur, so there might be grammatical errors.

1.      I enjoyed the story. Yeah, people will say it recycles from the trilogy, but come on, people. Why are you surprised? Bioware recycles their plotlines all the time. It’s pretty much the same in all of their games. A protagonist gains special abilities and leads a Ragtag Bunch of Misfits team to defeat a big threat. And I’m not bothered by that. Sometimes familiarity in your franchise is good, just as long as you do new things to the formula, and I think they do.

What interested me the most was the theme of starting over. A lot of people in the Andromeda Initiative were former criminals or outcasts. The reason they joined was to start a new life, and it’s explored in the main questlines, the loyalty quests, and numerous side quests. I was worried about the game talking about colonization since humans are looking for a new home, but I was pleasantly surprised that the game made it clear that Andromeda is the angara’s home first, and humans and other Milky Way species will have to work with them. Thank god! No Mightey Whitey trope this time!

2.      Ryder as the player character. I honestly never thought I would love Ryder as much as I did when I played the game. Sure, no one will ever replace Commander Shepard, but Ryder isn’t meant to replace the Commander, rather show a different perspective in a new story. Commander Shepard is the hero we want to be while Ryder is more of a relatable character. Ryder has to learn through the entire game how to be a leader while going through the obstacles of their inexperience and youth so people will take them seriously. And it was compelling, uplifting, and at times amusing to see them become a hero in their own right and step out of their father’s shadow.

Also Sara and Scott felt like their own person. In the original trilogy, the player character is pretty much the same no matter what gender. But sometimes the dialogue can be different depending on if you play a male Ryder or a female Ryder. That’s because they are two different people who have had their own experiences and personalities. That really adds to the replay value!

3.      Female aliens everywhere! One of my major issues with the original trilogy was the lack of female Turians, krogans, and salarians. Sure we had asari an all-female race, and female quarians, but it felt weird that we met so many aliens with very few ladies. Not only do we get a female Turian squadmate, we also get plenty of lady alien NPCs gathered everywhere for random quests. We also have Kesh who works at the Nexus. And we get to see female salarians! And they kind of look the same as male salarians except with different voices. Thank god! It would’ve been horrifying to see salarians with boobs. Uh! And I’m pretty sure there were just as many female angara NPCs as there were males.

4.      The romances. Especially the queer ones. One of the things I love about Bioware games are the romance paths. Bonus points if there is a queer option. And as of patch 1.08, this game has the most number of queer romances in any Bioware game. I think my two favorite romance paths are with Sara and Vetra and Jaal and Scott. While representation for the LGBT community is improving in media, there’s no denying we still have a long way to go. And after again the crap year 2016 where we had a huge number of queer women characters die in tv shows, it was so wonderful to have a healthy and happy relationship between two women when I first played the game. And even if it wasn’t added until the patch, the romance between Jaal and Scott is absolutely sweet since we see two men show a lot of love and affection for each other which is rare to see in media.

5.      The Tempest Family. I adore every single character on the Tempest, and they really did feel like a family once you played further into the game. I am a sucker for found families, and to see these people who are trying to find a home ending up finding a home with each other just gives me so many feels!

Since there’s not really a huge crew in the ship like in the original trilogy when Shepard had an army of humans. In Andromeda, we have six squad mates, four additional crew members, and Ryder. And I think it made the family more intimate. It’s like our own little family lives on the Tempest.

Also I liked how there were more quests spread out throughout the game with the squad which I think was lacking in Inquisition. Plus. Movie Night is the best scene ever!

6.      In my opinion, the side quests were fun. I think this was one thing they improved from Inquisition. Inquisition side quests just felt like a bunch of fetch quests that got kind of boring pretty quick, and didn’t really add to the overall story. Some highlights from Andromeda were: Kadara, the angara reincarnation questline, the Turian jailed for murder, the anti-AI group, meeting Zaeed’s son, and those kids sending out a distress signal for a new light for their weed plant. HAHA!

They were compelling in their own right and included cut scenes instead of the Inquisitor going to some location like in Skyrim to do a thing come back to the quest giver saying, “I did the thing.” “Ok, good.”

7.      Unlike in Inquisition, there’s actual payoff for some of the quests you do. I don’t mean to be mean to Inquisition, I still love the game, but remember when we were promised that you had to build your forces up in order to defend against the main threat. Yeah, you built forces to get influence points to gain perks, and that’s it.

In Andromeda, while, yes. It’s not the same level as Mass Effect 2. When you actually complete quests and help out leaders, you can get different results during the final battle. Like, there’s a chance Captain Dunn may not survive.

Also, when you get 100% viability on all the planets, you get a special surprise on Habitat 7- being told that it will one day be habitable because of our efforts. Sure it was a side quest, but it just felt so rewarding!

8.      The climax was actually fulfilling and exciting. Again, something else Inquisition was lacking in. Seriously, when I first played Andromeda, I legit gasped when the archon was taking control of SAM node. The villain was actually living up to his threatening nature!

Just when we think we got everything under control, and are about to find Meridian, the Archon fucks shit up, and our sibling has to step up to save the day. Then we have to gather people we helped out and prepare for a final battle, and Ryder can finally prove themselves as a true Pathfinder and kick the Archon’s ass once and for all. People are saying the ending was as disappointing as ME3’s? Pfft…What are you even talking about?

9.      The angara. Bioware never fails to make me love an entire fictional species. Yeah, it feels a bit off that they pretty much have the same faces and the same 3 voice actors, but I really do love their culture. And I appreciate that they were clearly coded as POC while Andromeda didn’t go through with the whole Mighty Whitey Trope. The game wants you to respect their culture and to respect their home.

I love the angaran people are open about their feelings, I love how their religion believes in reincarnation, I love how we see angaran scientists, soldiers, merchants, mercenaries, and civilians. Also Aya and Hivraal are absolutely gorgeous!

And when Jaal finds out his people were created by the Kett, I was worried it was going to go the Dalish elves route, but Jaal points out that it doesn’t change anything about the angara. They are still their own people. And that was such an uplifting message.

10.  The overall light-hearted tone. I wrote a small post that got a good number of notes. (Probably the biggest number I’ve ever gotten), so to quote: “There was always this sense of hope and optimism about finding a new home. ‘Yeah, things may have gone totally wrong, but that doesn’t mean we can’t make them better’ was the overall message I got.

And really, with so many bad things happening in the world right now and too much of our entertainment supposedly being our escapism being dark for the sake of dark, this was something I think a lot of us needed.”

Mass Effect 3 had its light-hearted moments, and I love it, but man, that game was emotional draining.

It’s a bit discouraging to love something so much and get recommended videos on youtube pointing out the same flaws of that certain game, and why they thought it was a huge disappointment. Do I agree with some of their criticisms? Sure. Does the history behind the production explain the flaws? Oh absolutely.

           But people seem to forget that the original Mass Effect trilogy wasn’t without its flaws. I mean, sure everyone can agree on the Mass Effect 3 ending, but I could make a list of all the issues I have with the other Bioware games including Dragon Age: Inquisition (which despite winning Game of the Year, kind of suffers the same problems Andromeda had).

           So yeah, after the crap year of 2016, I was so excited to get a newly-released game that made me happy. And still makes me happy, and makes me in the mood to play another Ryder.

anonymous asked:

could you give me some frat boy sterek please? its one of my faves. thank you!!

Fratboy fics are my *crack*  -Emmy

Battle of the Bros by damnfancyscotch 

(2,044 I Teen I Complete)

The Alpha Tau house and the Beta Sigma house have been rivals since before Stiles was born.

—–

Or, a Frat AU with a prank war and cute boys.

The Beat Goes (On and On) by dansunedisco 

(2,096 I Explicit I Complete)

Stiles takes a sip of his beer and scans the crowd. It’s wild tonight, but that’s nothing new for Alpha Delt. Jackson’s on DJ duty, which explains the shitty dubstep blasting through the speakers. Writhing, drunk bodies are packed in every corner, and the scent of weed hangs heavy in the stale air. He takes a sniff and sighs, disappointed. He was offered to take a hit off one of the many blunts making the rounds tonight, but he declined. All because Derek likes him to be (mostly) sober when they fuck, doesn’t like to mess around with consent on either end.

Not that Derek’s shown any interest in him tonight. Whatever.

Let’s Get It On by Stereksale7 

(2,385 I Explicit I Complete)

Some smut based off some real life smut

And Just Watch Us Burn by samanthahirr

(5,952 I Explicit I Complete)

Stiles goes to a Halloween party on campus to blow off some steam after a stressful week of midterms. He doesn’t expect the party to be crashed by both a supernatural predator and Derek Hale.

Your First by Simone (fvckyourfandoms) 

(7,278 I Explicit I Complete)

It’s Stiles freshman year of college and he decides to rush a fraternity. He becomes Vice President Derek Hale’s favorite pledge and they end up much closer than expected.

or

A story in which Derek can’t keep his hands off of Stiles’ sweet, irresistible, virgin ass and fails at not feeling him up.

I’m all Strung Out, My Heart is Fried by twnkwlf

(10,627 I Explicit I Complete)

“He’s an 11, Stiles,” she says glancing toward Derek, who is a few meters away, saying hi to some people Stiles doesn’t know, and filling a red cup with beer. “That’s the kind of guy who ruins the scale for all men. The scale is broken. Now all you can do is stick out your ass and hope for the best.”

Lift Off by takeittothestars 

(12,904 I Mature I WIP)

For Rena’s gifset AU:
“In a world in which the Hales are alive and healthy, Derek grew up to be a very self-confident college student who enjoys living life to the fullest and not denying himself simple pleasures; like drinking with his fratboy buddies, playing sports, or, you know, gangly, awkward, sarcastic and nerd-tastic teenagers who catch his eye.”

Initiation Rights by asilentstreet 

(13,942 I Explicit I Complete)

The new Alpha Delta Chi pledge class is a bunch of worthless idiots.

Or

Derek gets suckered into staring in frat-porn not once, but twice.

Hale to the Chief by LadyLazarus 

(14,403 I Explicit I Complete)  *first son!Stiles, bodyguards

First Son Stiles Stilinski thought college back home in Beacon Hills would be the best thing ever.

That is, until he realized that he’d be stuck with Derek Hale as his roommate the entire year.

Fraternity Relations by Betabeacons 

(17,149 I Mature I Complete)

Stiles and Derek are presidents of rival Fraternities. When the Dean of the University asks them to work together they have to put aside their differences and get along for the good of their houses. They end up realising that first impressions can be misleading.

As We Become Men by secretfanboy 

(18,968 I Mature I Complete)  *nerd!derek, jock!stiles

The wildest frat on campus is the Kappa Beta house.   Sheltered nerd Derek Hale, who has always done what was expected of him, is excited just to get to see the inside of the building.  Once inside he meets man about campus Stiles Stilinski and his world is turned upside down.  Stiles is nothing like anyone Derek’s ever known and Derek finds himself doing things he never imagined he’d do.  

What is this power Stiles has over him?

And who is turning frat boys into werewolves?

It’s Called a Heart Boner by RemainNameless 

(26,784 I Mature I Complete)

In which everyone and everything ever in the history of the world is trying to ruin Derek’s life before he can finish his master’s, especially his evil twin sister, his weird ability to start relationships on accident, his best friend’s obsession with his sex life, people with dimples, his subsequent inability to end relationships, manipulative sorority queens, and oh yeah, that stupid drunk ass freshman he keeps running into.

OR

The five times Derek saves a very drunk Stiles and the one time Stiles saves him back.

I Might Be a Fool by prettylittlementirosa 

(35,375 I Explicit I Complete)

The thing about Stiles, though, is that for him, turned on and angry are not mutually exclusive feelings. He may be painfully hard but that doesn’t mean he’s not also ready to strangle Derek for having the audacity to act like this is something that’s happening to him, not something that is almost entirely his fault. So when Derek let’s out what must be his hundredth long-suffering sigh, Stiles snaps.

(or the one that was supposed to be a GRΣΣK AU but is mostly just a study in the gratuitous and inconsistent use of punctuation)

A Year of Firsts by theycallmeBeebo 

(47,318 I Mature I WIP)

Freshmen year starts off with Stiles and Scott rooming together and moving in different directions.  Scott is excited to be joining a frat and Stiles is usually tagging along.  That starts to change once he meets the VP of Scott’s frat (Derek Hale) and doesnt mind going to the parties with Scott anymore.

DnD Character Asks!

Characters in the tags, askbox open, character synchronization set to maximum! Throw a number or two in my askbox along with a character, and I’ll answer those questions! 

1. How many dead parents do they have?

2. How good are they at tongue twisters?

3. Biggest regret?

4. Are they formally trained or have they gone through a more organic learning experience for their skillset?

5. If they could hang out with one famous person in 18th century American History, who would they want to hang out with?

6. What’s their theme song?

7. What fictional character are they most like? Was this an intentional or accidental influence?

8. Paper or plastic?

9. What’s their dump stat?

10. What’s their best stat?

11. What is their favorite anime?

12. What’s their favorite beverage?

13. If they can use magic, what’s their favorite spell?

14. Most heroic thing they have ever done?

15. Most despicable thing they have ever done?

16. Are they a hero or a supporting protagonist?

17. What’s their favorite food?

18. Would they rather fight a hundred duck-sized horses, or one horse-sized duck?

19. They have to go live on a deserted island. They can take one thing and one person. What do they take?

20. Are they religious? If so, what god or gods do they serve?

21. How did they become an adventurer?

22. Most amazing monster they have ever killed or helped kill?

23. Thoughts on death?

24. Do they have any interesting skills?

25. Favorite animal?

26. Expansion of civilization or the preservation of nature?

27. They’re at a tavern. They bump into a big burly angry drunk with a combative attitude. What happens?

28. What do they do between quests?

29. Biggest positive and negative influences on their life and development?

30. Would they smooch a ghost?

BTS Fic Recommendations

 There seems to be a weird divide in this fandom between reader x member and member x member stories, but I’m just here in the middle like “all Bangtan smut is good smut!” A good story is a good story and good writing is good writing. Some of these have no smut at all and some are so filthy that I can’t believe I’m recommending them, but, you know, BTS ruined my life and I have no shame anymore. 

I’ve probably read hundreds of BTS stories by now and these are the ones that I go back to over and over. I tried to pick only one per author, but all of these authors are amazing and you should go check out their whole masterlists. These are the authors that I personally fangirl over and stand in awe of. None of these are particularly similar to mine (eg. they are way better) and none of them are particular similar to each other. These are the fics that, for whatever reason, I couldn’t forget about after I read them.

Warning: Some of these are very explicit, so use caution. Anything marked with an M is definitely NSFW. 

Hope you enjoy!

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

What are your favorite shark facts?

*screeches with glee* Alright nonnie, you have asked me the best question EVER!

Apologies for taking two days to reply to this, life was a bit hectic

.

Super Awesome Shark Facts

ONE

Sharks showed up 400 million years ago in the Devonian 358.9–298.9 aka “The Age of Fish” between the geological Silurian (443.8–419.2 million years ago) and the Carboniferous Periods (358.9–298.9 million years ago). By the time of the Carboniferous, we had amphibians and other small vertebrate creatures capable of crawling about on land. It’s during the Carboniferous Period that the continent of Pangaea first began to form (let that sink in for a second, the sharks were about before Pangaea even began to look like a continent, that’s how long these creatures have been about jfc). 

TWO

To date they’ve survived FIVE massive planet extinction events… ya know, those things that KILL PRETTY MUCH EVERYTHING ON THE PLANET?? YEAH, THEM. We know of one that happened pretty recently in geological history; 65 million years ago when the dinosaurs went bye-bye. How fucking badass is that, Jesus Christ!

THREE

There’s currently over 500 types of Shark in the ocean at present (though not for long if people don’t stop KILLING THEM! CAN YOU NOT?!??). The most famous, of course, is the Great White (Carcharodon carcharias) and the Hammerhead (family: Sphyrnidae). For all that there’s a variety of Species, there are, of course, similarities in form and shape including cartilaginous skeletons (they’re literally made of the same stuff as the ridge of your nose is), enhanced electro-static senses (on their nose which is cute but also reason why if you boop them on the nose they ‘nope’ it out of the place; consider it not too dissimilar to bashing your funny bone and deciding to avoid that damned door in the future, same sort of logic tbh).

FOUR

You can pet a Shark on the nose. This isn’t really a fact so much as an interesting aside that I think is cute and adorable as shit so like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[The still looks scary but honestly, he’s just giving the Tiger Shark a snack lol]

[I believe these are Lemon Sharks, which are fucking cute and I would cuddle one of them to the end of my life (I don’t have self-preservation instincts tho soooo)]

FIVE

You have a higher chance of dying from being attacked by hornets, wasps, bees, dogs and even a fucking coconut (if you live in Asia) than you do of being killed by a Shark. How’s that for some mad stats?

SIX

As I’ve said, Sharks have survived FIVE massive planet extinction events but, currently, 20-30% of Sharks are close to extinction because of us, humans. Commercial fishing means Sharks get caught on hooks and nets; homeopathic remedies that require parts of Sharks for them to ‘work’; and Shark Fin Soup all contribute to the decline of these amazing creatures that have lived on this planet longer than even our most distant ancestor has.

SEVEN

Thanks to the media and stupid ass people who think they know everything from a movie marathon of the Jaws series, people think all Sharks are man-eating monsters that want to murder anyone who dares go for a swim in the open water. Here’s the thing though, 97% of over 500 Shark species are HARMLESS to us. The ones that ARE harmful tends to be because we’re in THEIR space and fucking up THEIR shit (personally, I’d beat your ass too if you came near my home so IDK why anyone thinks Sharks are evil; they’re just animals).

EIGHT

The reason why so many Shark attacks happen in California and places like South Africa is simply because of the abundance of food for Sharks; Great Whites especially. Seals, Sea Lions, and Sea Otters are all on the menu for the Great White and us pesky ass humans keep getting in their way. It’s not their fault they mistake us for food. Honest mistake.

NINE

Connected to EIGHT. Most of the time, people die from a Shark BITE but the Shark doesn’t come back for a second time (usually) because, unlike pretty much every other species that’s evolved on this planet, Sharks don’t have the opportunity to test what something is before using their teeth on it. Humans bleed out horrendously fast, especially in water, so the cause of death for most Shark attacks is blood loss and shock, not actually being eaten by a Shark.

TEN

Whale Sharks are the largest Sharks on record out of all current, living Shark species. They can be over 13 metres in length and, while they look scary considering how humans usually don’t go past 2 metres (imagine seven people stood on top of each other and you’ve got an idea of how long a Whale Shark is), Whale Sharks are the most docile creatures ever. They’re quite similar to Whales (hence the name) that live on plankton, for example the Blue Whale, and are absolutely gorgeous.

.

Hopefully these have been somewhat educational (while interspersed with my delightful attitude) and everyone can go on with their lives a little more aware and knowledgeable about Sharks.

Originally posted by amnhnyc

Character Talk: Korrasami

So in hype and celebration for Turf wars. I wanted to take the moment, years later and finally talk about my opinions on Korrasami. Given the blog, I imagine you can figure out what I think lol. But I don’t think I’ve actually ever talked about it all that much, since this blog usually just focuses on Asami. But I like talking about this show and I’ve been sitting on this aspect for while. So many people, more intuitive or smarter have offered their reasoning’s, and I don’t really think I’m about to add anything earth shattering. But I’ve been mulling it all over in my head for years now, and I’ve come to a lot of different points with a lot of different emotions, as I really tried to understand why it struck me the way it did, and why I still care about it which is something I can’t say for like any other fictional romance. And I think I’ve figured it out, at least for me. It hit me, that it resonated so strongly, cause it was the most like real relationships I’ve, and I think many other people have had. Minus walking into a spirit portal, lol. 

To start off, I think I should tell my shipping story. Never had I shipped before, well maybe a little but I didn’t know it was called that. Haven’t really shipped all that much since either. I enjoy romance but it’s not the major factor for me liking pretty much anything. But I’m getting ahead of myself. So I can’t claim I was on this boat since day one. Like I said, it was just something I rarely think about when watching a show. The moment that made me think about it, and start this crazy ship obsession was in the beginning of season 3.

I can tell you my exact thoughts when watching this scene. “Huh, they actually have really good chemistry.” Like they seemed to talk really easily to each other, the dialogue felt very natural and their laughter felt genuine to me. That’s when I got my boarding ticket. Cause watching that, I realized how utterly rare it was for me to think that. This is by no means a brag lol, but I have wasted a stupid amount of my waking life taking in stories. And I mean a lot of them. And I can think of precious few, if anyway, where I thought there was any chemistry. It’s why I was so disinterested in romance. Cause I’d seen hundreds of movies and shows where the leads had no connection whatsoever. No bonding moment, no casual conversation, no mutual interest or similar senses of humor. No REAL moments. Most of the time, they fall in live cause both are attractive and both are lead characters, and there’s usually little else there. And, most noticeable of all, is that it’s usually a pair of characters who’ve known each other for a day. A week at most. There’s no bonding usually cause there’s no time to. And that’s why I think chemistry is a major failing in many things. There’s no time to form it. And if you don’t believe the characters really like each other on personal level then why care?

So when I see people say Korrasami was rushed? I couldn’t disagree more. In fact to me it’s basically the least rushed romance I’ve ever watched. And to me, it doesn’t matter what “lens” your watching from. How can it be rushed? It’s two good friends, realizing they have had feelings grow for each other over the course of three years. Rushed? That’s more realistic than almost any romance I’ve ever seen. Cause it didn’t start right away. And so now we go into the personal talk. Almost every date, and romance I personally have had, has been with someone I was friends with for years before. We grew to like each other. We didn’t just lock eyes in a carnival one day and realize love was in the air. There was no whacky circumstance or embarrassing meet cute.  It was hey, I know I like you. But wow I think I might realllly like you. The romance came from how well I knew them, how at ease I was with them, how we knew each other well enough that we could almost always make the other one laugh, and that we could talk to each other about whatever in our lives was difficult or painful. Someone to trust enough to confide our rawest emotions in. That is something I think most media is sorely lacking. It is for this reason, I think korrasami hit me so hard. And it’s why I think it’s brilliant, and one of the best romances I’ve ever watched. And it doesn’t hurt that they’re adorkable. 

I can’t speak for everyone. But I get the sense there’s at least many relationships that start the same way, and they’re really unrepresented in media. (Not the only unrepresented thing that korrasami represents) Through the series, the two grow closer and closer. Korra was stand offish at first, but Asami basically tried her best to make friends right from the start. And then the rest of season one, they’re friends, if not the closest kind. By season two, it’s clear the gang has spent more time together. And it’s also clear there’s not that much weirdness between them cause of the whole love triangle thing. Asami helps the southern water tribe, and by extension supports Korra, basically the whole season. Going through dangerous situations and dark times is a quick way to form trust with those around you. And it’s clear that they do trust each other by then. One never questioning the capabilities of the other. Then season 3 happens, and it’s clear, they’re close friends by now. They spend time together, just between them. They confide in each other, they offer encouragement, and joke around with each other. In fact one of my favorite moments is after the press conference, when Korra is feeling powerless and Asami says she’ll work out a solution. Moving on, they have to put their trust in each other when they’re captured by the earth kingdom, and both observe the strengths of the other, protect each other. Everything becomes a stepping stone the two used to get closer and closer. Every experience is working to build a stronger bond. That’s life isn’t it?

The ending of season 3 hit it home. Showing how the two’s relationship was changing. Asami offering support, that she’d always be there. She grew to care for Korra more than just in a friendly way by then. By the time we get to season four, we know Korra only felt comfortable confiding in Asami, and we know Asami was willing to drop a lot in her own life to go with Korra to help her heal.  And the rest is history. When the two sit together at the end, just to talk and catch their breaths. They’ve know each other for a long time. Been through a lot together as friends. Then both reach the point where they open up completely, and admit their feelings for each other. Feelings they didn’t have right away, cause that’s not how intimacy works. At least in my mind. Rushed? Even if by accident, this to me was one of the most methodically set up romances I’ve seen.

They had to work through misgivings, and trials. Get to know each other, realize they cared enough to support the other. Korrasami is one of the most real pairings I’ve ever experienced. They didn’t meet in a bar, and hit it off. They didn’t get struck by love at first sight. And they didn’t get intimate first, then work out the relationship afterwards like it was an afterthought.  They both grew, both figuring out themselves along the way. And at some point, friendship blossomed into something else. We as the audience were allowed to watch them grow, follow their struggles and softer moments. Instead of asking us to care about the characters because of romance, we got to care about the romance because of the characters.

And this is all before we even touch on the issue of bisexual representation, or woc representation. In that regard, this show is leagues beyond hollywood or mainstream tv. The representation is utterly important today as it was when the show ended. Getting to see that in a show so many cared about, with characters they loved, is one of the most amazing things that’s happened in the world of fiction. And the impact that had for so many, can never be diminished. You can watch reaction videos to the finale, or read the millions of words written about the paring to see that. Some days I still can’t get over the fact that the show existed. In a way I kind of now hold it as the standard in this regard, and it is not a standard that is just not met.  I know I’m not the only one who can say it helped through difficult times. It helped with my own relationships, and showed me that it’s not weird to not fall in love right away. That it’s okay to grow your connections, and that if feelings do arise, that it’s okay to talk about it. That sometimes the pace of love is slower, and that there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. And if I can throw some shade, that is not a message or sentiment that’s thrown around nearly enough.

Another quick point, is that both Korra and Asami are characters who have suffered and been through a lot. More than life’s fair share, and both carry those wounds with them. But now, they don’t have to carry them alone. That’s another essay though, so I’ll just leave it at this. It’s a hopeful message to show that you can get through trauma on your own, but that you don’t have to. 

Korra and Asami grow to be so incredibly at ease with each other. They never once belittle the other for actions or feelings. They never asked the other push themselves to where they were uncomfortable. They supported each other almost implicitly, had each other’s backs at great risk to themselves no matter the odds or threats. It would be hard to think that two women as passionate and empathetic as they are wouldn’t start falling in love. Their bond of respect and trust is a foundation any relationship would be better off for having. That’s why I think Korrasami works. Trust and respect, and those are two things many romances don’t have nearly often enough. Healthy, and supportive and mutual relationships like this are to me the peak of what a relationship should be in any work of fiction, and it is why I have been affected far more by this than I have any other romance. I am so glad, that it helped and impacted the lives of so many people, and that so many in general saw it. I hope it can impact the next generation too, to look back and remember it. And I can’t wait to see these two incredible women’s love continue to be expanded and to grow in turf wars. Hopefully in the next few weeks we can all cry tears of  joy together! Keep on loving these two dorks! And never forget together, Korra and Asami are happy.

anonymous asked:

!!! I didnt know you liked documentaries! i loooove them and im always looking for good true crime ones. would it be too much to ask if you could recomend me some good documentaries you like? <3

this is the hardest but the best question ever. i’ve been musing over it for the last several days, and i finally just decided to sit down and make out a list. this is by no means a complete list, nor is it a ‘best of’ list. just some that i wanna rec because i think they’re awesome. or at least, the subject is fascinating, and so the annoying narrator/bad quality/etc is worth enduring. let’s go!

♥ autopsy (tv series) - if you have hbo go, it’s better to watch them there because the quality is a lot better, but this is a link to a youtube playlist of episodes. autopsy is a show about (you guessed it) autopsies, but each episode is themed and focuses on several interesting stories about deaths/murders where the cases were solved through forensic evidence found during the autopsies. michael baden is the forensic pathologist who has done several of the autopsies, and he’s the host of the show. i could watch this every single day for the rest of my life. (expect lots and lots of gore)

♥ paradise lost: the child murders at robin hood hills - another thing i watched on hbo go, but here’s a link to a yt vid (there are two other parts to this doc; they should show up in the related videos to the right). this is the story of the west memphis three and the murders of three little boys in arkansas in 1993. it’s a fascinating, heartbreaking, and unbearably frustrating story about the conviction of 3 teenage boys for those murders. there’s another doc called west of memphis that documents the events that occur after paradise lost concludes. i think west of memphis is my favorite of them all. god, what a fucking story. (graphic crime scene photos and video of three little boys.)

♥ mommy dead and dearest - i just watched this doc today on youtube, but hbo already found it and took it down. SO! you can watch it on hbo/hbo go, but because it’s so new, i doubt it’ll be anywhere else for a good while. it’s the story of dee dee and gypsy rose blancharde, a mother and daughter in a toxic, manipulative relationship that is one of the worst cases of munchausen by proxy ever documented, and one that ends in murder.

♥ thin blue line - a doc made in 1988 that digs into the wrongful conviction of a guy named randall adams who ends up on death row for something he didn’t do. it set a precedence for the importance and influence of crime docs. because of this documentary, the case got reopened.

♥ the keepers - another new doc, but this one’s on netflix. it’s a docuseries that follows the story of the murder of a nun, sister cathy cesnik, in 1969, and the unbelievable sequence of events that lead to it. this doc has pedophiles, sociopathic priests, police cover-ups, and a tireless group of retirement-aged women, some of whom are survivors of rape and abuse by the aforementioned priests, who will not rest until sister cathy’s killer is caught.

♥ the witness - on netflix, too. i talked about this one in my last movie post, but it’s the journey of a brother to try and understand what happened the night his sister, kitty genovese, was murdered in nyc in the mid-sixties. it’s absolutely fucking heartbreaking.

♥ cropsey - (i hope this link works??) this is a doc about a boogeyman urban legend on long island. the reason it’s interesting is because the doc is made by two kids who grew up on long island hearing the story, and there’s a really interesting story about an asylum that gets unearthed while they dig around. this guy also made a doc called killer legends which talks about urban legends and the true crimes that may have inspired them. both are really good.

♥ who took johnny? - another one i’ve already recced, but i wanted to put it on this list because it’s a good one. it’s about a boy named johnny gosch who went missing in the early 80s and was never seen again. the pov here is mostly with johnny’s mother, who is still searching for her son. it’s so heartbreaking. </3

♥ most evil (tv series) - i loveeeee this series. dr. michael stone is a psychiatrist who has a ‘scale of evil’ from 1 to 22 where he places different murderers for various reasons, including mental illness, history, and motive. each episode has a theme, and i could seriously watch this show every day forever and ever and ever. <3

♥ karla homolka & paul bernardo aka ken& barbie killers - these two. jesus fucking christ. paul was a serial rapist before he even met karla, and together, they murdered at least 3 girls, including karla’s little sister. the most insane thing? karla basically gets away with it. i can’t watch enough about these two. they’re so fucking horrible.

♥ the black dahlia, aka elizabeth short - okay, i’m in love with betty short, so i’m gonna link to a bunch of docs about her. i don’t have a favorite, and there isn’t one that i would consider definitive. i wish there was more out there, and i wish there was a good doc that had a good budget and a lot of care taken in its creation, but alas. so here are a few docs that at least give you some good info, crime scene pics, and theories:

one | two | three | four

(please come talk to me about elizabeth short. any time. ask me anything. i love her.)

♥ luis garavito aka the beast - ohmygod. luis garavito. colombian serial killer who has admitted to the rape/murder/torture of at least 140 boys, though it could be closer to 300. there have been mass graves of his victims uncovered. what blows my mind is that this happened in the nineties. 

♥ just melvin, just evil - disturbing and sobering doc about a viciously sadistic, horrible pedophile who ruined the lives of so many children in his family. the lives of all his victims were forever changed and ruined by a single man, and what makes this doc so special and painful is that you get to witness them confronting him when they’re grown.

♥ david parker ray, the toy box killer - if you haven’t heard of david parker ray, omfg, are you in for a story. this guy. he built a torture chamber in a trailer outside of his home and kidnapped, raped, and tortured women for years in it. and it all takes place in a tiny place called truth or consequences.

♥ there’s something wrong with aunt diane - a documentary about a car crash in 2009 that resulted in the deaths of 8 people, including 4 children. the events leading up to the crash and the mysteries behind what went on in that car just before and during the crash itself are just… so, so bizarre. a really interesting doc. (graphic crime scene photos at the end)

♥ the boneyard: leonard lake and david ng - just… the story of how the police even found out about these two in the first place is so fucking amazing. what comes out of the ensuing investigation is just staggering. these two fucks tortured and murdered at least eleven people, probably more. and you won’t believe what it takes to get one of them brought to justice (and what happens to the other one).

♥ wild child: the story of feral children - feral children are one of my very, very favorite topics to research. i’m endlessly moved and fascinated and inspired by stories of them. this is a great doc that touches on several instances of foundlings and gives you some names to rush out and do research on and find more docs about. there isn’t enough out there on feral children. not even close.

♥ theresa knorr - okay, i watch a lot of crime docs. a lot. very, very little shocks or phases me at this point. but this woman? holy fucking shit. theresa knorr stuns me. there’s something about women serial killers that fascinates me, and i think it’s that most of them know their victims intimately or are related to them somehow. knorr is the worst. the. worst. what her children have to endure before they’re murdered is unspeakable and beyond what even my warped brain could imagine. my god. 

♥ mary vincent (lawrence singleton) - this is a link to an episode of a show called ‘i survived’ which has two other stories on it, one that’s kinda boring and the other which is almost as astounding as mary’s story. but mary’s story is just… astonishing. she was fifteen when she was picked up as a hitchhiker and raped, dismembered, and thrown over a cliff. and she fucking survived. i love her. i want to hug her.

♥ catching a monster - peter scully - GOD. this fuck. peter scully is the most horrifying human being i’ve ever seen. his story is ongoing and not finished yet, but this doc talks about what he did and how he was finally arrested. scully ran a pedophilic red room/film studio where he tortured, raped, and murdered children for rich people who paid him to do it and film it. just. yeah.

♥ kidnapping of elizabeth smart - mindboggling. just… not only how she was taken, but also why and what happened while she was gone. and how she was found. stockholm syndrome is another thing that fucking fascinates me, and i wish this doc had focused more on that aspect of the story, but i understand why elizabeth is reluctant to discuss it. anyway! such an interesting story.

♥ the murder of james bulger - james bulger was a 2-year-old boy from merseyside who was brutally murdered by two 10-year-old boys. the violence they inflicted on this kid, and the way his body was found is just… a nightmare. there are two docs on this murder that i’ve watched and find interesting in their own rights, so i’m gonna link to both: 

one | two

(after you’re done watching these two, look up the two boys who murdered him and see what they’re up to now. one of them will stun you.)

♥ aileen wuornos - gonna end this with the lady dearest to my heart. i feel such an incredible amount of sympathy and heartbreak for this tragic woman. her life story is almost unbearable, and the journey of her lifelong abuse by men, the series of murders she committed, and how she found love somehow in between all of it will stay with me forever. there are two wonderful documentaries on aileen, both by nick broomfield, and together they tell the whole story, leading up to her execution:

 the selling of a serial killer

 the life and death of a serial killer

this is by no means a (complete) list of my favorite true crime cases! but these are some that i love a whole lot. i hope you find something you like here! ♥

10

Dylan’s journal

1: Fact: People are so unaware…. well, ignorance is bliss I guess…. that would explain my depression. - Dylan
A Virtual Book
EXISTENCES
By: Dylan
Properties: This book cannot be opened by anyone except Dylan (some supernatural force blocks common people from entering).
<<-VoDkA->>
<<-Dylan->> 
2: The 4 stages from within: most, few, some, none
Me is place outside all the boxes. 
3: El Thoughtzos
Ah yes, this is me writing … just writing, nobody technically did anything, just I felt like throwing out my thoughts - this is a weird time, weird life, weird existence. As I sit here (partially drunk with a screwdriver) I think a lot. Think … think … that’s all my life is, just shitloads of thinking … all the time … my mind never stops … music runs 24/7 (except for sleep), just songs I hear, not necessarily good or bad, & thinking … about the asshole - in gym class, how he worries me, about driving, & my family, about friends & doings with them, about girls I know (mainly - & -) how I know I can never have them, yet I can still dream … I do shit to supposedly ‘cleanse’ myself in a spiritual, moral sort of way (deleting the wads on my computer, not getting drunk for periods of time, trying not to ridicule/make fun of people (-) at school), yet it does nothing to help my life morally. My existence is shit to me - how I feel that I am in eternal suffering, in infinite directions in infinite realities. Yet these realities are fake - artificial, induced (?) by thought, how everything connects, yet it’s all so far apart … & I sit & think … science is the way to find solutions to everything, right? I still think that, yet I see different views of shit now - like the mind - yet if the mind is viewed scientifically … hmm
I dwell in the past … thinking of good & bad memories. 
4: A lot on the past though … I’ve always had a thing for the past - how it reacts to the present & the future - or rather vice versa. I wonder how/when I got so fucked up w my mind, existence, problem - when Dylan Bennet Klebold got covered up by this entity containing Dylan’s body … as I see the people at school - some good, some bad - I see how different I am (aren’t we all you’ll say) yet I’m on such a greater scale of difference than everyone else (as far as I know, or guess). I see jocks having fun, friends, women, LIVEZ. 
Or rather shallow existences compared to mine (maybe) like ignorance = bliss. They don’t know beyond this world (how I do in my mind or in reality or in this existence) yet we each are lacking something that the other possesses - I lack the true human nature that Dylan owned & they lack the overdeveloped mind/imagination/knowledge tool. I don’t fit in here thinking of suicide gives me hope, that I’ll be in my place wherever I go after this life … that I’ll finally not be at war with myself, the world, the universe - my mind, body, everywhere, everything at PEACE in me - my soul (existence). & the routine is still monotonous, go to school, be scared & nervous, hoping that people can accept me … that I can accept them … the NIN (Nine Inch Nails) song Piggy is good for thought writing … The Lost Highway sounds like a movie about me … I’m gonna write later, bye   <<-VoDkA->>
5: Da ThoughtZ Jeah
Well well, back at it, yes (you say) whoever the fuck ‘you’ is, but yea. My life is still fucked, in case you care … maybe, … (not?) I have just lost fuckin 45$, & before that I lost my zippo & knife (I did get those back) Why the fuck is he being such an ASSHOLE??? (god I guess, whoever is the being which controls shit). He’s fucking me over big time & it pisses me off. Oooh god I HATE my life, I want to die really bad right now - let’s see what I have that’s good: A nice family, a good house, food, a couple of good friends, & possessions. What’s bad - no girls (friends or girlfriends), no other friends except a few, nobody accepting me even though I want to be accepted, me doing badly & being intimidated in any & all sports, me looking weird & acting shy - BIG problem, me getting bad grades, having no ambition of life, that’s the big shit. Anyway … I was Mr. Cutter tonight - I have 11 depressioners on my right hand now, & my favorite contrasting symbol, because it is so true & means so much. The battle between good & bad never ends … OK enough bitchin … well I’m not done yet. OK go … I don’t know  why I do wrong with people (mainly women) - it’s like they are set out to hate & ignore me, I never know what to say or do. - is soo fuckin lucky he has no idea how I suffer. 
6: Okay here’s some poetry … this is a display of one man in search of answers, never finding them, yet in hopelessness understands things …
Existence … what a strange word. He set out by determination & curiosity, knows no existence, knows nothing relevant to himself. The pretty declarations of others & everything on this world, in this world, he knows the answers to. Yet they have no purpose to him. He seeks knowledge of the unthinkable, of the undefinable, of the unknown. He explores the everything … using his mind, the most powerful tool known to him. Not a physical barrier blocking the limits of exploration, time thru thought thru dimensions … the everything is his realm. Yet, the more he thinks, hoping to find answers to his questions, the more come up. Amazingly, the petty things mean much to him at this time, how he wants to be normal, not this transceiver of the everything. Then occurring to him, the answer. How everything is connected yet separate. By experiencing the petty others actions, reactions, emotions, doings and thoughts, he gets a mental picture of what, in his mind, is a cycle. Existence is a great hall, life is one of the rooms, death is passing thru the doors, & the ever existent compulsion of everything is the curiosity to keep moving down the hall, thru the doors, exploring rooms, down this never-ending hall. Questions make answers, answers conceive questions, and at long last he is content. TTYL  <<-VoDkA->>
7: Thoughtz                                                                                                          Yo … whassup … heheheheh … know what’s weird? Everyone knows everyone. I swear - like I’m an outcast, & everyone is conspiring against me … Check it … (this isn’t good, but I need to write, so here ….                                             Within the known limits of time … within the conceived boundaries of space … the average human thinks those are the settings of existence … yet the ponderer, the outcast, the believer, helps out the human. “Think not of 2 dimensions”, says the ponderer, “but of 3, as your world is conceived of 3 dimensions, so is mine. While you explore the immediate physical boundaries of your body, you see in your 3 dimensions - L, W, & H, yet I, who is more mentally open to anything, see my 3 dimensions. My realm of thought - Time, Space, & THOUGHT. Thought is the most powerful thing that exists - anything conceivable can be produced, anything & everything is possible, even in your physical world.” After this so called “lecture” the common man feels confused, empty, & unaware. Yet those are the best emotions of a ponderer. The real difference is, a true ponderer will explore these emotions & what caused them. Another … a dream.                                                                                         Miles & miles of never ending grass, like a wheat. A farm, sunshine, a happy feeling in the presence, Absolutely nothing wrong, nothing ever is, contrary 180 (degrees) to normal life. No awareness, just pure bliss, unexplainable bliss, The only challenges are no challenge, & then … BAM!!! realization sets in, the world is the greatest punishment. Life.                                                            8: Hypnosis place - It is a sky - with one large cloud, & sort of cloud-made chair - the sun is at the head of the chair … 10 o’clock up into the sky … Below, I sometimes see mist, & the green (forest green) earth - sorta a city, yet I hear nothing. I relax on this chair - actually like a chaise - & I am talking … to what? I don’t know - it’s just there, I have the feeling that I know him, even though I consciously don’t … & we talk like we are the same person - like he’s my soul … The everlasting contrast …                                                                              Dark. Light. God. Lucifer. Heaven. Hell. GOOD. BAD. Yes, the everlasting-contrast. Since existence has known the ‘fight’ between good & evil has continued. Obviously, this fight can never end. Good things turn bad, bad things become good, the ‘people’ on the earth see it as a battle they can win. HA fuckin morons. If people looked at History, they would see what happens. I think, too much, I understand, I am GOD compared to some of those un-existable brainless zombies. Yet, the actions of them interest me, like a kid with a new toy. Another contrast, more of a paradox, actually, like the advanced go for the undevelopeds realm, while some of the morons become everything dwellers - but exceptions to every rule, & this is a BIG exception - most morons never change, they never decide to live in the ‘everything’ frame of mind!              Laterz           <<-VoDkA->>                                                                                   9: <<-VoDkA->>’s Thoughts                                                                                   The - Situation                                                                                                             It is not good for me right now (like it ever is) … but anyway … My best friend ever: the friend who shared, experimented, laughed, took chances with & appreciated me more than any friend ever did has been ordained … “passed on” … in my book. Ever since - (who I wouldn’t mind killing) has loved him … that’s the only place he’s been with her … if anyone had any idea how sad I am … I mean we were the TEAM. When him & I first were friends, well I finally found someone who was like me: who appreciated me & shared very common interests. Ever since 7th grade, I’ve felt lonely … when - came around, I finally felt happiness (sometimes) we did cigars, drinking, sabotage to houses, EVERYTHING for the first time together & now that he’s “moved on” I feel so lonely, without a friend. Oh well, maybe he’ll come around -> … I hope.               That’s all - for this topic - maybe I’ll never see this again. (-> ô=-   -=ô)                 <<-VoDkA->>                                                                                                                10: My 1st Love????                                                                                               OH my God … I am almost sure I am in love … with -. Hehehe … such a strange name, like mine … yet everything about her I love. From her good body to her almost perfect face, her charm, her wit & cunning, her NOT being popular. Her friends (who I know) - some - I just hope she likes me as much as I LOVE her. I think of her every second of every day. I want to be with her. I imagine me & her doing things together, the sound of her laugh, I picture her face, I love her. If - soulmates exist, then I think I’ve found mine. I hope she likes Techno … :-)             -, I love you                                                                                                             - Dylan

Of all the people you could have pissed off

Pairing: Peter Parker x Stark!reader

Fandom: Spider-Man: Homecoming

Request: Can you do a peter parker x reader where the reader is tony stark’s daughter and she’s new at peter’s school. And so like he tries to get Ned to talk to her, but she doesn’t like Ned so he has to talk to her himself and he’s very nervous. And when he meets her dad, he gets scared af. Sorry it’s so long!

Warnings: Cussing, using google translate for Spanish, overprotective dad, scared af Peter

Hope you like it!

Keep reading

If you think you’re worthless, stop scrolling right now and read.

I’m writing this for a specific mutual, but it isn’t only true for one person, so read on.

You know those inspirational posts you see people reblog every day?

Stuff about people all throughout history who failed and went bankrupt and were depressed and were told they weren’t good enough - and yet somehow they rose above it and defied all those notions to become heroes and legends and history makers and culture movers. And the post always ends with “so don’t be hard on yourself when you mess up” and it’s all nice and sweet and pretty. Maybe you scroll past them. Maybe you hardly ever see them on your dash at all.

Maybe you’re among those who reblogs these posts.

But maybe every time you hit the reblog or the like button, your brain is whispering “this isn’t about you” and “yes people can do amazing things, but not you” and “ah yes amazing stories, too bad it will never happen to you” and you listen to these whisperings and you laugh and shake your head…

Because you know exactly where you stand: worthless. irredeemable. a loser. a lost cause.

Please.

Please.

Listen to me.

As your friend.

As a stranger who doesn’t know you. Who doesn’t have to know you, or your failings, or your depression, or your anxiety, or your embarrassments, or your deepest darkest most heinous crimes.

Stop.

Just stop.

Look up. Look around you. Open. Your. Eyes. Are they open? Good. Keep them open. Don’t ever close them again. See the world. See you: a human being, valid, flawed, journeying, changing, growing, scraping, failing, rising, a masterpiece that will never be made again.

You are beautiful. You who think you are overweight and lazy. You are beautiful. You who think you are stupid and uneducated. You are beautiful. You who think you are a loser, and amount to nothing. You are beautiful. You who bleed and ache and never rest. You are beautiful.

You have worth.

Want to know a secret? If you wake up in the morning and tell yourself you’re not going to amount to anything that day, then you aren’t going to. If you go to bed at night thinking nothing will change tomorrow, then you are going to change nothing.

Because you’ve resigned yourself to that lie. And it is a lie, friend. A straight-out, soul-condemning, out-of-the-pit, self-deprecating, self-pitying lie. A lie you don’t have to believe. A lie you should not believe.

If you stand in the corner and bow your head and stare at the ground, you’ve already lost the battle without fighting. This is a surrender in which there is no honor, and in it there is no hope.

Life isn’t easy, friend. Life isn’t fair. It’s hard. And getting things done is hard. Some days, just getting up out of bed is hard. Just breathing. Just doing homework. Just going to work. Just trying to keep the dishes and trash from overflowing.

But we do it anyway.

Why? Because there’s life to live. There are choices to be made. Jokes to laugh at. Awkward conversations to be had. Art to mess up and start over on. Jobs to work. Pizza to be eaten.

We do it anyway.

So guess what?

You do it anyway too.

Why? Because of this:

You are special.

Right now, this second, turn off the voice that hears these Disney-fied words and scoffs and ignores them. Listen.

There is not a human being who has ever lived or ever will live on this planet that is not important, that is not here for a reason. No life is worthless, and most certainly not yours. My God doesn’t make worthless things, and he doesn’t make mistakes. There are no extra pieces in this universe, no spare parts. He made you. And he made you for a purpose, and that purpose is not to sit in your room, afraid to try, afraid to love, afraid to hope, afraid to climb and fall and hurt and get back up again.

Want to know another secret? You aren’t alone. Every single human being in the history of everything has struggled with feeling worthless at some point in their life. Every single one. That is not a lie. Your feelings of worthlessness are not what is special about you. You are what is special about you. The God who created you is what is special about you.

No matter what you’re going through, no matter what you’ve done, no matter what you have failed to do, someone else has gone through worse. Sometimes, a lot worse.

Oh, now you feel invalidated. “Why can’t I just believe in myself? Other people have it worse, I shouldn’t complain, I should just try harder, but I know trying harder isn’t going to help, so what’s the point.”

Guess what?

Stop that too.

Stop it dead in its tracks.

Kill that thought. Every day. Every morning. Every minute it shows its ugly lying face. Kill it and put it to rest. Stack headstones on top of it and move away, far far way, friend.

Don’t tell me I don’t know what I’m talking about. I don’t know where you’ve been, but you don’t know where I’ve been either. Don’t ignore hope because you think it’s for other people. Don’t keep yourself from making an effort, and pushing yourself forward. Bury the lie. You have worth. You are loved. You are important. God does not make worthless things.

One of my favorite lyrics says “How does it end when the war that you’re in is just you against you against you? You’ve got to learn to love, learn to love your enemies too.”

Learn to love.

Your enemy.

Yourself.

Start learning to see you the way God sees you.

See you the way I see you.

Perfect.

Worthwhile.

Amazing.

Just at the very beginning.

Every single day you wake up is a brand new start.

A bright new chance. Every. Single. One. You will never stop getting chances for as long as you are here, so why dismiss them? Isn’t that the most beautiful thing there is? You get to keep trying. Every single day. You have the gift to go again, try again, start again, live again, breathe again, hope again.

Guess what. When the morning is wasted, the afternoon is still there. When the afternoon is wasted, the evening is still there. When the evening is wasted, the night is still there. And then morning comes again.

So the next time you see a motivational post, an inspiring reblog, a story about how someone overcame something horrible, and turned it into something amazing, look long and hard and take courage, find hope in that. Stop dismissing it as being from a universe you have no part in. Stop putting yourself to that measuring stick and turning away because you’re not there yet.

You’re looking at the end result. At some point, they were standing in your shoes. They couldn’t see the end. They couldn’t see what they might or might not amount to. They had no idea, just like you now. Just exactly like you.

Hope, my friend. Every time you start to think “I can/will never” do this or that or amount to anything or accomplish anything… Hope. Stop those thoughts immediately. Kill them. Bury them. Never stop burying them. They are lies and you are better than them.

Drive them out. Open your eyes. Look around. Pick yourself up. Brush away the tears. “I will try. My God doesn’t make worthless things, so I am not worthless. My God does not create without meaning, so I have meaning. I am here for a reason. Today I will live to find out what that reason is for today. And tomorrow I will hope again.”

Life is hard, my friend. Stop beating yourself up. You are worth more and capable of more than you can ever imagine or hope or dream. Don’t let your past or present failures stop you or beat you down. Keep going, keep hoping, keep killing the lies. You are bigger than them, you go beyond them. And God is greater, and he knows your heart. Trust him. Wake up. Open your eyes. Move forward. Keep your eyes open.



“You’ve got all that emotion that’s heaving like an ocean
And you’re drowning in a deep, dark well
I can hear it in your voice that if you only had a choice
You would rather be anyone else

I love you just the way that you are
I love the way He made your precious heart

Be kind to yourself
Be kind to yourself

I know it’s hard to hear it when that anger in your spirit
Is pointed like an arrow at your chest
When the voices in your mind are anything but kind
And you can’t believe your Father knows best

I love you just the way that you are
I love the way He’s shaping your heart

Be kind to yourself
Be kind to yourself

Well how does it end when the war that you’re in
Is just you against you against you
Gotta learn to love, learn to love
Learn to love your enemies too

You can’t expect to be perfect
It’s a fight you’ve gotta forfeit
You belong to me whatever you do
So lay down your weapon, darling
Take a deep breath and believe that I love you

Be kind to yourself
Be kind to yourself
Be kind to yourself

Gotta learn to love, learn to love
Learn to love your enemies
Gotta learn to love, learn to love
Learn to love your enemies too

anonymous asked:

Hi! I really liked your hc!!! and I also would like a head canon with the RFA +Saeran, V and Vanderwood with MC as the Daughter of a Yakuza boss (sorry if my english is bad)

You’re English is just fine, sweetie! Thank you for your request!

OKAY! Quick explanation about the whole “Yakuza” thing. So, like, I know that technically Yakuza are the Japanese mob, and everyone is Korean in game, but I’m a lazy sack of shit who didn’t know what to write in replacement of that that would be more appropriate, but… we’ll just have to roll with it because I have no idea what else to put down.

Also, before we get into the specifics, here’s a few wide-spanning ideas between them;

  • MC was the illegitimate second child of the Boss
  • She has an older half-brother, who is 10 years older
  • Her biological mother died when she was a baby
  • Her step-mother was the one who insisted on taking her in, and loved her like a real daughter because she was so freaking cute as a little one
  • She knows self-defense because her brother taught her
  • She knows how to act like a proper, respectable woman because her stepmother taught her
  • Her father’s underlings all dote on her as well

Yoosung

  • Yoosung is super scared to meet her family when she tells him
  • “I didn’t want to tell you about each other unless things got really serious.”
  • They go to her family home and he’s nothing but respectful and terrified as her stepmother serves the tea
  • MC never removes her hand from him both as reassurance and to protect him
  • Her stepmother loves how earnest he is
  • The thing that ultimately convinces her family that he’s the proper fit for MC is when one of the Underlings that’s had a crush on her since they were teenagers starts hitting on her while she’s showing Yoosung around
  • Yoosung goes a little yandere, steps very obviously between MC and the guy, puts his arm around her, and glares very scarily at this guy
  • “Hi, I’m Yoosung. Her fiancé. And you are?” “[says his name].” “Hm, funny, MC’s never mentioned you before.”
  • Immediately they’re sold. Hell, they help plan the wedding.

Jaehee

  • Well… they didn’t immediately jump for joy
  • Jaehee really wasn’t sure what to expect when MC led her to a very nice, traditional house
  • She was ever a little frightened by the people around the entrance, even if she greeted these scary people warmly
  • It wasn’t until they started doting on her and calling her little pet names from when she was baby that Jaehee understands that they’re like family and she has nothing to fear
  • When MC’s brother sees Jaehee, he laughs, but asks if Jaehee knows anything about protecting someone
  • Jaehee is a little offended, so does a judo throw of the older brother
  • Father and stepmother witness this as well, MC starts laughing and kisses Jaehee for her impressive performance
  • Stepmother is cautious, but approves of Jaehee being very polite, kind, and hardworking
  • Father is… well, he’s torn
  • He was expecting his daughter to present him with a strapping young suitor that he could scare -away- into submission
  • Instead he gets a woman who he just doesn’t know how to intimidate because she’s faced down the C&R household along with various other CEO and chairmans and walked out without a sweat
  • But at least his daughter is happy
  • After they’re home, Jaehee’s knees buckle from the nerves and she’s so happy that they approved of her

Zen

  • He used to be in a gang, but this… this is a whole new level
  • But he does know the culture, plus he’s an actor, so he’s able to be confident and friendly when he meets her family for the first time
  • Zen is immediately fawned over by her stepmother because (a) he’s so handsome and (b) she’s a fan of his.
  • He reluctantly admits to formerly being part of a gang, and earns the respect of the brother
  • That just leaves her father who has been eyeing him suspiciously ever since he learned Zen was an actor
  • His biggest concern is not if he can protect her, but if he’s (a) good enough and (b) will be true to her.
  • When her father pulls Zen aside to question him about his willingness to be faithful, Zen tells him about the Echogirl incident and says that he would do it again a thousand times, just to be with MC
  • The father just says, “If you ever hurt her, no one will find your body.”
  • “I would never dream of it,” Zen says. “Even if you didn’t threaten me.”

Jumin

  • Jumin is not an easy to intimate man, so when they show up at her father’s home, he just walks in without flinching
  • He’s the perfect gentleman
  • MC’s stepmother approves of him quickly because he’s handsome, charming, and very successful
  • The men of the family aren’t so easily convinced
  • They know his father’s history with women, and even if they know about the RFA party and everything that happened, they’re still concerned that he’s going to cheat on her
  • He actually gets kind of scary when her brother implies he will sleep around like his father
  • Because, even the thought of anyone hurting his love is offensive
  • Her father ends up speaking up and admitting that, once, when they were children, MC and Jumin actually met
  • It was at a party at a yacht club that the Han family and he were part of
  • Her father remembers two things from that party; (1) Chairman Han trying to buy out his business to “legitimize” it and (2) Jumin being kind of a jerk to a younger MC
  • Granted, Jumin was like, 8 or 9, and she was maybe 4 or 5, so it’s a bit of a hard judge, but MC followed him around that whole party because he was so pretty, and little Jumin thought she was annoying and accidentally made her cry
  • So of course her doting father still doesn’t forgive him
  • Meanwhile Jumin immediately apologizes for that, and MC is laughing because it’s an adorable story and Jumin is being ridiculous for apologizing for something that happened so long ago
  • The men of her family manage to ease up after seeing his reaction, but remain wary
  • As far as MC sees it, as long her family and his father don’t cause problems, everything will be fine

Saeyoung

  • He comes prepared with all their information memorized and a bribe of three boxes of Honey Buddha Chips
  • They’re impressed with his bribe, and when they ask about his job, they’re terrified
  • Because Saeyougn starts listing off their personal information (SS#, drivers liscense, birth name, date and place of birth, favorite internet search, last 20 things they individually purchased, etc)
  • They’re terrified, realize he’s a hacker, and they just kind of nod and say, “yeah, okay. We’re good. Please don’t hack us.”
  • Then they see how happy he make MC
  • As their leaving, Saeyoung says, “I think that went well.”
  • “Well as it could go.”
  • “I can’t believe they didn’t try to kill me after the whole ‘apartment bomb’ thing”
  • “They don’t know, and if you tell them, my father will find a way to kill you and make you disappear.”

V

  • V meets the brother first
  • “I don’t approve,” the brother says. “You can’t protect her if anything happens.”
  • “I can protect her in my own way.”
  • “Oh really?”
  • “Have you ever seen anyone attack a blind man?”
  • “…well no, but-”
  • “And if a blind man - or the woman he was with - were being attacked, wouldn’t you want to do something?”
  • “Yes but-”
  • “I may not be able to fight, but I can protect her.”
  • He’s earned points with father and stepmother immediately after this
  • Brother is still cautious, but he doesn’t go against his parents wishes

Saeran

  • When he shows up, her family isn’t sure what to think of him
  • I mean, from the white hair to the black clothes…. he seems… interesting
  • But then they see the look in his eyes
  • They talk
  • He ends up fitting right in
  • MC would be surprised, except she knows she has a type
  • her father even briefly considers offering him a job

Vanderwood

  • He didn’t once try to kill her brother, what?
  • Okay, but seriously, he didn’t expect to walk into the den of a mob boss when going to meet her parents
  • But it did explain a few things
  • Like why she wasn’t afraid of pretty much anything
  • And how she manages to keep such a cool head in crisis situations
  • MC is really clever, too, in that she knows how her family would react to knowing his former occupation (in that they’d either want to hire him as muscle or kill him), so she lies to them about it
  • She says he worked security at a data management facility (she’s not wrong)
  • Her father legitimately asks Vanderwood to go in for an interview with the security team at his (shady) business
  • Much to Vanderwoods surprise, things go remarkably well, and he’s invited to join them for dinner again
  • He’s so glad he ignored his survival instincts for once and didn’t run away
I’ve got a lot of feelings over 12x21

So there’s a disproportionately large amount of things that were fundamentally wrong with this episode whether you think the episode was or wasn’t good and I’m about to outline the fuck out of them because I really disliked the writing in this episode and thought there was only ONE redeeming quality to it (which I’ll get to later)


1. EILEEN LEAHY IS KILLED OFF WITHIN THE FIRST 3 MINUTES.

Eileen is not only a fan favorite but a female minority being the only deaf character ever featured on the show  and truth be told, I really haven’t seen deaf representation on any other tv show in the history of ever so killing off the only deaf character is a HUGE blow and another black mark on Supernatural’s extremely long record of killing beloved female characters and minorities. Not to mention, the way it was done was tactless. I understand that sometimes characters need to be killed off whether it be for an actor/actresses’s accommodation or because it was planned from the start but there are WAYS to do it. Having it be the opening scene and glossing over it so easily was rude, shocking and kind of a “fuck you” honestly. I am FURIOUS about this and will probably never shut the fuck up about this because I am so intensely bothered by it.

2. THE MARY/MIND CONTROL FIASCO

Let’s get this out of the way. I DO NOT like Mary. That’s not me being misogynistic. I like pretty much every single other female character on the show but the way Mary was written made me dislike her a great amount. I tried to like her. I desperately tried to like her but I just couldn’t. I understand that she made mistakes and so has everyone else on the show but making SO many mistakes in such a short amount of time overwhelms you with bad and not enough good to counter it and that’s my PERSONAL opinion. That being said, I don’t exactly wish her death and I feel like what they did in this episode was absolutely vile and her character didn’t deserve that. I knew this moment was coming but I was still unprepared. Seeing the boys pitted against their mom made me sick to my stomach not to mention HOW they got mary to want to betray her sons against her will. Buckleming have a history of using aspects of dubious consent and straight up nonconsent in their episodes and it doesn’t always have to be sexual in nature. The fact of the matter is, the whole brainwashing the victim trope is disturbing and classless because of the noncon aspects no matter who is writing it or how it is written. I really don’t like it and find it somewhat disheartening that the show keeps allowing this kind of content.

3. OVERUSE OF SEXUAL INNUENDOS

Once again, a huge problem with Buckleming. Do I find sexual innuendos funny sometimes? Yeah I do, when done tastefully and in context - which is never the case with Buckleming episodes. How fucked up do you have to be to think it’s a great idea to tease someone about their mother being imprisoned and having had sex with the person who imprisoned her as a kind of mockery? That’s not the type of thing that should be joked about, even for shock factor yet they insist on using this type of shock factor on their episodes. Its just fucking gross to use in any context and I’m shocked that Buckleming haven’t realized how grotesque that shit actually is over the years. The overuse of sex and innuendos in the episodes they write is ALWAYS problematic, from this kind of mockery about dubcon to straight up nonconsent in the past. They are ALWAYS the culprits and something needs to be done.

4. CROWLEY’S POWER REVERSAL WITH LUCIFER

Is the idea good in theory? Maybe. But there’s literally NO CONTEXT to it whatsoever? Like, Buckleming just thought “let’s say the powers are reversed, hooray” but forgot to give us any sort of explanation or reasoning and left us completely in the dark. We’re not children but even children would have enough sense to ask why/how that managed to happen instead of letting it be shoved down our throat and accepting it for what it apparently is. Buckleming episodes are notorious for having huge plotholes and I’m really unhappy with this one in particular since it’s the episode that is the buildup to the season finale which is pretty damn important. A lot was riding on this absolute shitshow of an episode and it leaves a lot to be fixed to the people writing 22 and 23.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

This episode fucking sucked and I’m really bummed out to say this and jump on the witch hunt but I really do think Buckleming should be fired. People have been in agreement about this for a long while and while I wasn’t particularly happy with their episodes in the past, I didn’t think they were firing offenses. This however, put the cherry on top of the shit cake for me though. I thought it was tactless, distasteful and badly written. An overall disaster if you will. 

There was only ONE redeeming quality in the whole show thought which for me was how SPECTACULAR David Haydn-Jones was as Ketch. Holy shit that man can act and I respect the hell out of him for that. Ketch may be a hateable character but I sure do LOVE to hate him and hope he doesn’t die (even though he probably will)

The boy next door

Pairing: Yoongi x reader

Genre: Fake dating au! Smut!

Word count: 1.5K

Author´s note: I´ve been meaning to write this for a long time…not sure how it turned out though.


The day your first encounter with Yoongi took place happened to be the same date when he managed to rent the apartment next to yours. Never in your life had you been too fond of minding other people´s business, but it had sure startled you to hear music blasting from the empty rooms next to yours, much due to your cat jumping and hurrying to hide under the bed.

While you had held the poor animal tightly in your arms the noise had just increased, some kind of blabbering accompanied by a steady beat that made your ears ring in annoyance. Everyone was free to listen to music, no matter the genre, but you were almost sure there were some volume limits he wasn´t going to cross as long as you lived there.

Opening the door and taking a peek your mouth had opened wide at all the equipment he pretended to keep in a two room flat, your brows furrowing at all the strange gadgets as he seemed busy lifting boxes with warning signs stuck to them. What kind of lunatic was he? That had been your first thought but, seeing his small frame and  too big sweater  had been enough to not classify him as the enemy so soon. He looked friendly, and you had been sure that as long as you asked nicely he´d turn off whatever song that was.

“Hi!” your voice couldn´t be heard over the music so you opened the door a bit more, your head now exposed as he continued moving things in an out “Hey, excuse me!”

You, being such a calmed person, couldn´t remember the last time you had shouted like that and you were almost going to give up when his eyes finally met yours. The sight probably wasn´t pleasant –your small face topped with the messiest bun ever while your cat tried to escape from your embrace. Now that he was looking at you the sudden outburst of annoyance seemed to dissipate, turning into a crescent blush as you dusted off the cat hair left on your pajama shirt.

“Something wrong?” His black fringe was covering half of his eyes yet you could feel them roaming your body up and down – or at least the parts that weren´t covered by the door. He darted his tongue out to swipe it over his lips, seeming as no answer was coming from you “Apart from the obvious”

Eyes widened as he took in the sight of your baby hairs falling on your eyes due to how improperly you had tied your hair up, your hands rushing to cover it before directing a pointed look towards him. Clearing your throat, you took a step to face him better.

“Well, I´m going to act as if I haven´t heard that and it wouldn´t be that strange because” you raised an eyebrow, your hands moving in the air exaggeratedly “it´s a miracle I haven´t gone deaf”

He smirked, he really did as your finger pointed towards his mp3, wondering how such a small object could cause so much damage. You crossed your arms again, the position giving you reassurance as he licked his bottom lip, something he seemed to do often.

“I think your cat likes it”

Keep reading

The Houses as Teachers I've Had
  • I'm sorry that this is the most steriotypical thing you'll ever read.
  • Ravenclaw: 1. My english lit professor, who always got really excited and would go off on tangents for discussions, leading us all to an existential crisis at least once a week. Likes to pretend he's scary and aggressive when really he's a small walnut who really likes books. Randomly cut me off in a conversation because he decided to teach me how to 'punch men'. Likes to write books where he is always a main character because 'it's easier than actually going outside myself and trying these things out'. Literally trips over everything. 2. Another professor who was literally the king of oversharing and then would say things that were hysterical but would offend people who weren't understanding their irony. When people's logic didn't make sense, he'd keep following it until he twisted it to a humorous outcome. Also gave us all existential crises. Lectured about the correct way to live your life and when I asked what it was he went "hell if I know, I'm only making it up as I go along and hoping that when I die, God doesn't saute me".
  • Slytherin: 1. My high school English teacher. Loved me, hated everyone else, failed people who were shitty in general, favoritism like no other, liked to make people debate things out but didn't have a personal point to prove. Let things slide if she liked you, very sarcastic. If you said something stupid, she would threaten to shove her stiletto heel in your eye socket. Said she only cried once in her life, and it was when she was in college and her Shakespearean Verse teacher had a thick Jamaican accent, and she never knew what was happening. 2. My Spanish teacher from Mexico who was literally so chill all the time, and only disliked like 2 people who were always antagonizing him (he failed them and passed everyone else). Would say and do everything really dramatically and said ZORRO at least once per class. Complained about the price of bananas. Gave up in the last month and just made us watch Jimmy Fallon videos every day because 'Jimmy Fallon is the man'.
  • Gryffindor: 1. Skateboarded into my freshman comp. course every day, forgot to wear pants under dresses that were see-through, would make us read vague philosophical essays that she then used to advance her own personal agendas. Rarely ever taught, mostly just went on tumblr while everyone looked around frantically. Tried to convince us to raise our children genderless by giving them a name like 'turnip' and never telling anyone their sex. 2. History-enthused teacher who used modern analogies to explain american history. Was the most petty man ever, it was perfect. When 'sporty' guys in the class would refuse to participate, he would pull out a small basketball and his wastebasket, and every time they got a question correct on the verbal review, he would let them shoot. Sweet guy in general, would walk people to the nurse, authoritative and honestly ugh I love him he is my son.
  • Hufflepuff: 1. Math teacher who ever Friday brought in some kind of baked good or candy, had little songs she'd dance around the classroom singing, chubby and sweet little woman, really liked Bon Jovi. 2. An advisor I met with once only because I wanted to drop a class that I was failing who sat me down for four hours. She started crying about 6 times, read me a whole bunch of motivational quotes, kept reading excerpts of the bible, and randomly having us pray together
My Alpha

Originally posted by sebastianobrien

“Bucky, I want to go for a walk.” The feeble omega stated. Brushing her soft locks to the side, waiting for a reaction from her brothers best friend. “Steve said I was allowed as long as you know i’m heading out,” She further fought for her right, seeing as the older Alpha was ignoring her wishes.

“Cant you just go in your little nest?” He was always commanding, not wanting to go out and start trouble, his voice deep and ruthless, “Honestly, what would a walk do, Where would you even walk?” Now he decides to stand, to turn to her form and witness her staring at her shoes, while picking her nails in a nervous manner, “Where do you want to walk, Omega?” Not making a move to respond to his questions, he released an audible sigh of tiredness, rubbing the bridge of his nose he ushered her out with his wrist. “I’ll meet you outside in five, your not walking alone.”


He was always demanding, wanting things to go his way or nothing. That was the biggiest set back of all Alphas, they think they’re the best of the system  and they should be worshiped and listened to. Alphas would get what ever they want when ever they want, Bucky and Steve just so happened to notice the pet peeve of Omegas and try their hardest to surpass them.

“Alright, Alpha.” Her mood changed drastically, Bucky had to hold back his pheromones for a minute longer just to make sure the itty Omega wouldn’t get a whiff of what she does to him just by calling him by his status. The things Steve’s little sister does to him… He just cant help it. He cant help saying “No,” to her, he had tried, but ended up taking it right back and giving the bitty girl what she wants. Which was something big, Never does an alpha take back what they say, Steve noticed, but decided to stay out.

So he found himself lacing hands with the little Omega he fantasies about. She probably didn’t even know it, but her scent was maximized to the double, as she just finished her heat three days ago. The scent she leaves behind that gets carried by the harsh wind would grab many unwanted Alphas and their attention. Secretly he would rub himself all over her, giving her his scent for the day. Not that she minded, she never seemed to have a problem with it.

“I love the wind in autumn,” She spoke, as they passed yet another nude tree, its branches stuck out like a sour thumb. Bucky nodded, tightening his scarf around his neck, he was never much for words, especially around her. “Whats your favorite season?” She spoke mindlessly as she caressed a few branched that had been weighted down by their length. 


“Autumn is nice,” He agreed, watching as she smiled warmly his way. She had let it slip once that she enjoyed having similar interests. Not that he would lie just to get her closer to him, but it was a nice little tid bit to know about her character, as she loves to bond well, both physically and mentally.

“Ted loved the summer,” She said, out of habit. She would always talk about her Alpha, boost his self esteem by praising him and talking about him to many other Alphas; Bucky was beyond sick of hearing the bastereds name roll off her tong like a prayer.

“Didn’t he cheat on you?”

Which was true, Steve’s little sister had an amazing Alpha, who just loved to have more then one Omega at his feet. Once Steve found out, he blew a casket. If that wasn’t enough, her ex Alpha threatened to bond her if he so as much smells her across the streets. Bucky was confused, if her ex Alpha was all bad news and somewhat history, why was she still talking about him like she still loves him and wants him back?

“Yes… why are you asking, your the one who broke both his arms.” If there was anything in the world Bucky loved it would have to be this oblivious Omega beside him. She tried to remove her hand from his, but he wasn’t budging. His eyes were glaring at the street sign coming up, not wanting to grow any angrier.

“Bucky, you stink.” her small cries almost went unnoticed, if it wasn’t for her trying hard to shove his hands away from hers. “Bucky let go,” Her wails only grew stronger. The Alpha was now walking faster, as if dragging her frail body behind his. “Bucky stop, whats your problem?” He stopped midway the park, way past the bus sign that interlaced with a fork for the park. letting go of her hand he jerked back and blew. 

“Everyday, all I can think about is making you my mate and filling you with pups. It pisses me off that all you talk about is that good for nothing Alpha.” His roar was terrifying, his arms flinging around like he was ready to strike, his brows knitted together if one would look from afar it would seem he was losing it all. 

The winds breeze blew away whatever scent she was giving off, fear, love, sadness… He was never good at reading the women species. And it scared him now that he didn’t know what else to say, he had loved her way before she met Ted, and was on his way to confess his feelings until he walked in on the couple relaxing from their heat and rut. He never spoke to her normally from that day on, always ignoring her and walking away from her while she was mid sentence. It seemed all his pent up aggression had finally met its peak.  So he stood waiting for her to move.

“You… Since when?” Her reply was out of genuine curiosity, She had found Ted as a last minute resort for her Alpha because she felt as though she needed one. Steve had Sharon who was an amazing mate, and Bucky would always come over to Steve’s little home smelling like another women each night. And some nights, she would catch a whiff of more then one scent. So was the rest of her friends, they all had someone. 

“Since forever, Doll.” Bucky grumbled, rubbing the bridge of his nose. “It doesn’t matter lets get you home.” He reached for he forearm, in a manner to get her moving his way and end the day.

“No,” She rubbed the pad of her foot on the dirty road of the park and stood her ground, squaring her arms over her chest and glaring at Bucky, “If you’ve loved me for ever then why come home smelling like every Omega in town?” 

“They never meant anything, (Y/N)-”

“Their still Omegas who thought they had a chance with you, What makes me any different?” 

“Because I love your scent, so much it drives me into my rut every other day. Your driving me nuts (Y/N)-”

“That’s no excuse-” She should have just shut up when she had the chance and not argue with an Alpha, because that’s dangerous, Bucky was the biggiest Alpha she had ever seen.

“Shut it Omega-” His voice was deep, commanding and showed no signs of space for her to argue her half. “Lets get you back home, before it gets dark.”

“Bucky-”

“Move Omega-”

“Bucky-”

“Omega.” He warned dangerously, pointing to the nearest exit of the forest in the park. 

“I love you,” She screeched, Cutting him off from his thoughts. “I have loved you way before T-”

“Don’t say his shitty name,” Bucky grumbled, getting closer to her form and wrapping her up in his arms, “Lets go to Steve’s and figure us out.”

“Your home, Bucky.” She begged, Steve’s little apartment was the best home she could ever ask for, but it always smelled like the leading Lady of the couple. 

“Our home,” Bucky corrected, letting his forehead rest over hers. their nose touching, while their hands intertwined together. 

“Our home,” She chanted, giggling at the end. 

A/N: Excuse any mistakes. 

Enjoy more of my: masterlist

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Samurai Jack: The Case for Mature Western Animation

When critics talk about the must-see television events happening so far this year, shows like Better Call Saul, American Gods, and The Handmaiden’s Tale are often brought up. This is, of course, for good reason: each of those shows are well-crafted, hard-hitting, and intelligent stories told by visionary showrunners in wholly unique ways.

We need to start including Samurai Jack on that list.

Genndy Tartakovsky has always been a cinematic animator. His original run on Samurai Jack nearly two decades ago nearly revolutionized how children’s action cartoons could be portrayed, with his careful and brilliant use of silence and color. He would continue this artistry with his tragically-underrated science-fiction epic, Sym-Bionic Titan (hey, Toonami, how about asking for a second season of that show next, huh?).

When Samurai Jack returned this year, Tartakovsky knew that his audience was going to have grown with the character. He knew that [adult swim] would’ve allowed him to use as much profanity, gore, and sexual innuendos as your average Family Guy episode, and a lesser showrunner would’ve run with that opportunity. Instead, Tartakovsky opted to tell a more mature story in the literal sense of the word. This meant more reflection, more spiritual and emotional symbolism, more grounded stakes, and a more hardened Jack. Indeed, this is what makes a majority of the season so fascinating to watch.

During the original series on Cartoon Network, our hero was a calm, silent, confident warrior on a mission. Despite being a stranger in a strange land, he always kept his wits about him. Rarely did he lose. Watching the show as kids, we just knew that he was going to eventually make it back to the past to stop Aku.

In season five, we’re not so certain anymore. Jack is now more of a ronin, wandering the apocalyptic wasteland of Aku’s future looking for lives to save. It’s become so routine that he’s almost forgotten why he does it anymore. His mind is corrupted by vicious thoughts that constantly bombard him with self-doubt. He suffers from hallucinations of his family and loved ones suffering in the past without him. All the while, he’s being followed by the spirit of death, who is patiently waiting for Jack’s seemingly-inevitable suicide. Even with the introduction of comedic characters like Scaramouche, we’re shown immediately just how much darker this world had become.

That threat grows worse with the introduction of the Daughters of Aku, seven warriors bred specifically to kill Jack. In my opinion, the episodes surrounding their hunt and the subsequent battles were the highlight of the season, showcasing Tartakovsky’s storytelling nuances at their brightest. The action is as swift and dazzling as ever, and the use of dramatic lighting and suspenseful music is downright ingenious. Balancing the hard-hitting violence with the somber moments of fear and reflection make the battles between Jack and the Daughters some of the best directed scenes not simply in recent animated history, but in television history as a whole.

After a poignant childhood flashback of his father reluctantly slaying an army of foes, Jack comes to terms with the fact that he sometimes needs to shed human blood, despite having never done such a thing before. He slays six of the seven Daughters of Aku in a beautiful snow-covered forest (again showing us how much Tartakovsky and his team love playing with color), sparing only one of their lives. This is when we meet Ashi, who becomes the driving force of the entire season.

I was legitimately impressed with how the show handled Ashi’s transformation from brainwashed killing machine to Jack’s partner in good. Within the span of two incredibly-paced episodes, we saw her slowly peel away the layers of both who she and the “evil” samurai were. Contrasting the unforgiving violence of her upbringing to the gentleness of her former enemy causes her to question everything she knew, and interacting with Jack’s old friends from the original series solidified her stance on the matter: Jack, despite everything she knew, was a hero.

(Just an aside, seeing Ashi break lose and dance at the Rave with a big smile on her face was one of the happiest damn moments of the season for me)

A lot of people were unsure of how to interpret Ashi. I know a lot of people felt she was very sexualized throughout the series, and I felt there was a definitive lack of understanding when it came time for the character to “wash herself clean” of Aku’s influence (does it matter if she was technically naked the whole time? Can’t we just accept physical metaphors and move on?). Some didn’t like that she had to save Jack on multiple occasions, while some didn’t like the fact that she, herself, had to be saved on multiple occasions. I feel as if those people were simply looking for something to complain about, because I legitimately found Ashi to be a great character.

The episode in which she needed to take down an entire army sent to kill Jack while he was meditating his anger away and acquiring his sword is an all-timer, and probably the most Tartakovsky-esque of the season. The action sequences are as brutal as they had ever been, with bright Tarantino-styled blood spilling over the battlefield; Meanwhile, Jack’s spiritual quest for inner-peace is filled with as much stillness and restraint as the creative staff could muster. Truly the last perfect episode of the season.

I felt as if every idea and story beat Tartakovsky had planned ended up in the season in some capacity, though I felt that the pacing was forced to grow a bit rushed as the season wrapped up. The best – and most unfortunate – example of this is the finale itself.

It’s exactly how we all secretly wanted the show to end: Jack is seemingly defeated, and Aku can’t help but gloat to everyone on the planet. Right as a possessed Ashi is about to deliver the fatal blow, all of Jack’s allies rally together for a full assault on Aku’s castle (what else could’ve possibly connected all of these strange characters than the capture of their legendary savior?). Jack breaks free and assists Ashi in overcoming Aku’s demonic grasp. Upon learning that she possesses all of Aku’s abilities, she’s the one who opens up a new portal in time, allowing Jack to go back to the past and finally defeat Aku.

(In what was easily my favorite part of the finale, Jack and Ashi appear almost immediately after his original self was sent back, leaving Aku flustered, baffled, ill-prepared, and horrified. “You’re back already?!” he spits out. Jack conquers his foe easily, and while some found the final battle anti-climactic, I felt it was perfect.)

Afterwards, Jack finally returns home, Ashi by his side. A wedding is arranged immediately, and they’re ready to spend the rest of their lives together. In a dark twist that those of us familiar with time travel almost saw coming, however, Ashi disappears from existence in Jack’s arms, having never been born due to Aku never taking over the future. Jack, bitterly alone, retreats to the forest, where a ladybug (a beautiful callback to Ashi’s character arc) allows him to see the promise of what’s to come.

It all sounds so perfect. Unfortunately, everything emotional that happened in this episode had to be squeezed into the last ten minutes. This maybe could’ve worked if Tartakovsky hadn’t perfectly spaced out Jack’s inner turmoil at the beginning of the season. After such perfect reflection, I wanted to see more emotion from these last few moments. There was a lot Jack needed to react to, from all of his friends coming together to fight Aku, to Ashi finally defeating and channeling the darkness within her, to the unadulterated and enormous impact of finally returning to the past! Jack had spent over fifty years trying to get there, and we didn’t even get to see an emotional reunion with his family. That just didn’t feel right to me.

Then there’s Ashi’s disappearance. She didn’t die, she was erased from existence. After struggling with his inner demons throughout the first half of the season, I wanted to see Jack mentally and emotionally try and cope with that. After all, it wasn’t simply Ashi who vanished; it was all of his friends and allies whose lives he had touched throughout his decades in the future. All of them were gone, a curse that inevitable if Jack were to complete his mission. There is pain, horror, and guilt bursting at the seams with such an ending. We could’ve had an entire half hour dedicated to Jack accepting what he had done. It’s such a bitter, dark, and beautiful ending emotionally, and I felt the writing staff wasn’t given the time to appropriately explore it.

Still, all of the ideas were there, and Genndy ended the show on his own terms creatively. He still provided us with nine-and-a-half perfect episodes that broke the boundaries of what Western animation was capable of. It practiced restraint and patience when other action cartoons insist on doing the complete opposite. It gave us a hero plagued with inner-darkness and mental illness on a journey of self-purpose. It gave us a character with a redemption arc we never saw coming and rooted for until her tragic end. And – for me, anyway – it gave me hope for animation as a medium, that more audiences will look at this sweeping epic of a story and think “I want more.”

anonymous asked:

Hi!! I've spent the last few hours just reading your work and omg I love the way you interpret the prompts! You're making the long hiatus so much better already and I can't wait to read more! I have a prompt request as well: friends with benefits to realizing they like each other (with some angst added in!) thank you!!! :)

First of all thank you so much, that’s so sweet of you! Second of all, here it is! This is more playful than angsty but I still hope it’s okay!

AU: Jughead never went to Riverdale High and never became friends with Betty and the gang the way they were supposed to. Archie, Jughead, and Betty were close in middle school, but once they parted ways and Jughead followed in his father’s footsteps of becoming a Serpent, their relationship was never the same.

Betty brushed past Cheryl Blossom as she hurried her way down the freshly-mowed lawn of Riverdale High’s courtyard, nearly snagging her baby blue sweater on one of Cheryl’s particularly sharp insect brooches as their shoulders slammed into one another.

“B, where the hell have you been?” Veronica called to her from their usual picnic table at the end of the quad, her prized set of pearls shining elegantly in the mid-afternoon sunlight.

Ignoring the icy glare that Cheryl tossed in her direction, Betty maneuvered her way through the crowd of chatting classmates to slip her way onto the bench of the picnic table next to Kevin, just as Veronica turned to narrow her eyes at Betty. “I’ve had to listen to Cheryl’s incessant ramblings regarding the subpar quality of her brand new Louboutins for the past half hour and trust me, when I reach the point of boredom beyond repair talking about designer shoes, you know there’s a problem.”

“Sorry, something came up,” Betty mumbled, shrugging off her pale pink backpack and placing it on the wooden surface in front of her.

“There have been a lot of things ‘coming up’ lately,” Veronica pointed out. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say our little, not-so-innocent Elizabeth Cooper has a man in her life she’s been hiding from us.”

“Yeah, right,” Betty scoffed, unzipping her bag and rummaging through its contents to find the salt and vinegar chips she didn’t eat at lunch. “You know how terrible I am at keeping secrets. Remember your surprise birthday party last year?”

“How could I forget? You asked me to come over to help you with an English paper,” Veronica recounted the event in question, shaking her head in shame at Betty’s failed attempt at such a classic form of surprise. “The day Betty Cooper asks Veronica Lodge for homework advice, you know there has to be something else going on.”

Betty’s lips curled into a slight smile, her expression distant as she reached into the bag of chips and popped one into her mouth, repeating this process for several minutes without blinking or acknowledging that there were other people sitting at the table with her.

“Kind of like now,” Veronica mumbled, waving a perfectly manicured set of nails in front of her in an attempt to snap her out of the trance she had fallen into. “Look at her face, Kev. There’s something wrong with it.”

“You’re right, V,” Kevin concurred, leaning in close and tilting Betty’s chin towards him with a flick of his thumb. “There’s an actual smile on it. Hell must have frozen over.”

“Hey, I smile!” Betty defended herself, her too-tight ponytail nearly smacking Kevin in the face as she whirled around to look from Veronica, to Kevin, and back again.

“Not since Polly-” Kevin started to explain, but before he could get the words out, Veronica lunged across the table to place a hand over his mouth, nearly knocking various textbooks and papers onto the grass in the process.

“Shhh!” Veronica quieted him. “Kevin, we agreed that bringing up such events should be handled as if one were at Hogwarts and in the position of saying the name Voldemort - you just don’t do it!”

“Sorry,” Kevin shrank back onto his spot on the bench. “Let me rephrase. You’ve been a little down the past few months, but lately-”

“You’re happier than Kevin during a Brad Pitt movie marathon,” Veronica finished for him, her eyes dancing wildly as she leaned in to point a finger in Betty’s direction. “And that can only mean one thing.”

“Betty Cooper: number one in her class, editor of the Blue and Gold and all around girl next door, is getting a little ‘Fifty Shades of Freaky’ with one of Riverdale High’s finest young bachelors,” Kevin concluded, his arms crossing in front of his chest as if he were proud of himself for solving such a complicated riddle.

“I am not!” Betty protested. “You two have way too much time on your hands if you’re speculating why I’ve been smiling more lately.”

“What kind of friends would we be if we didn’t notice such things,” Kevin pointed out, his gaze suddenly leaving his friends to focus on the parking lot in front of them. “Kind of like how I’ve noticed Jughead Jones’ massive biceps lately, holy hot and bothered Rolling Stone-meets-Abercrombie you can actually see them bulging through that leather jacket.”

The boy in question stepped out of his midnight-black 1968 Plymouth Roadrunner, his dark hair falling effortlessly over his eyes as he moved to shut the driver’s side door.

“Joining the Southside Serpents has really sat well with his upper body muscles,” Veronica admired, her mouth hanging open slightly as he pulled out a cigarette and lighter from his jacket pocket like he was plucked straight out a scene from the Outsiders. “Too bad he doesn’t go here anymore, I would love to run my hands up and down those-”

“Veronica!” Betty’s eyes went wide as she turned to glare at her friend, whose mouth was practically watering as she took in Jughead leaning against the classic car and taking a drag from his cigarette like she was watching the most sensual thing she had ever laid eyes on. “Last time I checked you still have a boyfriend, or have you forgotten about our good pal Archie Andrews. You know, captain of the football team, lead singer of his very own rock band, Riverdale High honor student. Ring any bells?”

“Oh please, I’m allowed to window shop as long as I resist throwing anything into my basket,” Veronica muttered, picking up her copy of The Sun Also Rises and fanning herself with it, even though it was a perfectly cool fall afternoon that didn’t even come close to meriting such actions.

“That’s wrong on so many levels,” Betty mumbled, pushing her half-eaten bag of chips away from her and wiping her greasy fingers down the front of her sweater.

“What’s Jughead doing here anyway?” Kevin wondered. “I thought he and Archie stopped talking once he moved schools a few years ago.”

“He’s here to see me actually,” Betty admitted, turning in her spot on the bench to look at Jughead for the first time since he had pulled into the parking lot. “He was the best writer we had at the the junior newspaper in middle school and no one’s ever come close to filling his shoes, so he’s helping me out a few times a week after school at the Blue and Gold.”

“You sure he’s not helping you out with a few other things too?” Veronica wiggled her eyebrows at Betty suggestively, her lips creeping up into an amused smile as Betty narrowed her eyes at her.

“Just friends, Veronica,” Betty assured her. “Jughead isn’t Archie’s favorite person right now and after everything that’s happened with their fathers - I just - I wouldn’t do that to him, okay?”

“Whatever you say, B,” Veronica shrugged, still looking unconvinced as she reached underneath the table to retrieve her cheer bag. “Okay, I have to go find Cheryl before River Vixens practice so I can warn her that the choreography she’s been throwing at us is too 90′s cheer routine and not enough Beyonce video like we were going for.”

“Yeah, and I have to go witness the bloodbath of bitchy, yet impressively clever insults that is sure to occur as a result so we’ll see you later, Betty,” Kevin followed Veronica’s lead as she made her way away from the picnic table, the giddiness in his expression made even more evident by the enthused squeal escaping his lips as he bent down to pick up his backpack.

“Bye, guys,” Betty called out to them, shaking her head in amusement as she watched them round the corner to head back into the school.

Betty kept her gaze focused on the chemistry textbook resting open in front of her as she saw the movement coming from the parking lot out of the corner of her eye. Jughead had pushed off his car and was slowly making his way onto the sidewalk leading up to the courtyard. Her breath caught in her throat as he took a step closer. And another. And an-

“And then there was one,” Jughead announced, his leather-clad sleeve brushing the soft fabric of her sweater as he slid his way onto the picnic table next to her. “What’s it like without chatter mouth one and two attached to your hip?”

“I don’t know,” Betty sat up straight, turning slightly on the bench to quirk a challenging eyebrow in his direction. “What’s it like without your manhood to back up that newfound edginess that drives all the girls crazy? Wanna find out?”

“Betty Cooper,”Jughead beamed, one leg tucking underneath itself so that he could turn his body to face hers completely. “Throwing the banter back at me like we’re in a 1940′s black and white screwball comedy. I like it.”

“You’re early,” Betty noticed, her eyes focusing back on the periodic table displayed on the inside cover of the chemistry book.

“I ditched the last two periods,” Jughead shrugged nonchalantly, scooping up the abandoned bag of chips on the table and tossing back a handful into his mouth. “I figured that I’ve already learned as much as I needed to know about 17th Century England and the Taming of the Shrew to pass with at least a C in both history and English and still function in the real world like an adequately intelligent human being so why not skip out early and come see you?”

Jughead crumpled up the now-empty chip bag and tossed it behind him, missing the trashcan completely as he looked back to watch it roll onto the grass. Leaning in close, Jughead rubbed a hand on her knee resting underneath the table, his breath tickling the exposed skin of her neck and nearly causing a thrilled giggle to escape her lips.

“Jug,” Betty warned, reaching down to remove the hand slowly creeping its way up her thigh and turning to give him a leveled glare. “We agreed, remember?”

“You agreed,” Jughead corrected. “I said friends with benefits was a dated form of emotional torture that benefits neither party in any meaningful way.”

“Isn’t that the point?” Betty reminded him. “To not get attached in a way that lets you mean something to the other person?”

“I think that ship has sailed,” Jughead admitted, his eyes flicking to hers with a vulnerable state of truth-turned-worry when he realized that she might night have felt the same way. “At least on my part anyways.”

“You know that we can’t be anything more than what we are,” Betty explained. “At least not right now.”

“Because Archie blames me for my father’s involvement in his father’s shooting and he would love nothing more than to see me strung up on the mantle of his nice and cozy family-sized home,” Jughead recalled, his eyes rolling backwards dramatically sliding his leg back underneath the table and facing the empty set of picnic tables across the courtyard. “Yeah, you said that when we first started - whatever you want to call this. Doesn’t mean I understand it. And it doesn’t mean I have to like it.”

“Juggie,” Betty whispered, resisting the urge to reach out and caress his cheek affectionately the way she had grown accustomed to since they had started their relationship nearly eight weeks before.

“You know how I feel about you, Betty,” Jughead told her, his eyes softening slightly as his head turned to smile weakly down at her lips. “And I think that if you were being completely honest with yourself, you know exactly how you feel about me too.”

Betty knew he was right. She knew that she felt more than just lust, coupled with the added bonus of orchestrating their clandestine meetings, for the boy from the Southside who was more than just his leather jacket and tough demeanor. But she couldn’t risk her friendship with either boy in her life by making things official. Not yet.

“This is the way things have to be right now,” Betty sighed. “At least until Mr. Andrews gets out the hospital and everything just - settles down. Please, Jughead. I don’t want to lose you. But I don’t want to lose him either.”

Betty held Jughead’s gaze, her bottom lip jutting out slightly as her teeth automatically reached out to bite down on the tender skin there, a habit she had formed around the time she had started seeing Jughead in a little-more-than-just-friends kind of way.

“God, why do you have to do that thing with your bottom lip,” Jughead mumbled, his eyes flicking down to her pink lips with a fleck of longing in his gaze. “You know that drives me insane.”

“I know,” Betty beamed, her eyebrow quirking flirtatiously up in his direction. “Why do you think I do it so often?”

“Okay, if we’re still playing by these ridiculous rules you’ve set in place then we better get to the Blue and Gold room because I’m feeling the overwhelming urge to kiss you,” Jughead breathed, his heart beating wildly as Betty’s leg brushed against his, making his palms sweat in the best way possible. “Now.”

“Then what are we waiting for,” Betty leaned in close to Jughead as if she were going to meet her lips to his, but swung her legs out from underneath the picnic table at the last second and stood in front of him with her hands on her hips. “Race you.”

“You’re on.” Jughead grabbed Betty’s bag off the table and sprinted after her, not even noticing that there had been a figure lurking in the shadows who had witnessed their intimate exchange with a devious smile plastered on her flaming red lips. Turning on her less-than-adequate Louboutin heel, Cheryl let her waist-length red hair swing playfully behind her as she sauntered her way to cheer practice, already scheming and plotting how she was going to use this juicy new development to her advantage.

Stitches

When I stay at my parents’ house I sleep in the room of a girl I’ve never met. I am called by her name. I see her clothes in the closet and her things in the drawers. They don’t fit me anymore. I hold up the dresses, the T-shirts—did they ever fit me? And if they did, what was that girl like? I run my hands over the smooth surface of her life in my mind. Every thread is in place, but my rough fingernails snag and ruin it.

I can play pretend at being her if I try hard enough. She has my nose, shares my favorite color, cross stitches the rhythm of her thoughts like me. During the period where she blurred into me, we learned to sew. X’s in neat lines, rows of prayers.

Embroidery starts with intricacies, stitches I squint to see. They are never the same color as I expect at the beginning, numbered skeins of embroidery floss organized before use. Three stitches like my mother taught me. Secure the thread on the fabric. One for an anchor, two for luck, three for insurance. Always leave a tail of thread. The stitches must be small and perfect.

My mother taught me to sew, her mother taught her, it’s the earliest form of female self-expression. Women teaching girls teaching their daughters to create in careful, useful ways. Whip stitches, back stitches, cross stitches, the secret ways that women learned to survive.

I am not a woman; still the craft has been passed to me.

People on the street call me miss and ma’am and remind me of my needle and thread beginnings, how the tail dangles from the piece I’m working on and gets tangled. My heritage is cross stitched and hanging on the wall in my childhood bedroom, sewn by my pregnant mother twenty years ago.

           I hear my mother cry through the thin walls of her house, she asks God why did I have to be like this. What happened to her daughter. I ask God to take the damage out on me instead, spare her from what my existence does to her. In her eyes, I am burning; in her eyes, I am not enough.

When I was thirteen a distant ER doctor sewed my tear-stained chin up. Fell off a bike that I was too small to be riding, growing up too fast, trying to fly away. Saw my bone for the first time, jarringly white, like I was free of sin. The doctor numbed it, I sobbed. I can still feel the pull of the thread, the butterfly needle, the this won’t hurt a bit. Couldn’t sleep on my side for a week, my chin dripped mucous and antibacterial ointment. The stitches tickled for three days. I still have the scar.

My mother sat me down in the kitchen two weeks later and cut them out carefully, sewing scissors, healing flesh. A different kind of pull, like a bad spirit leaving my body. I trusted her; twenty years of embroidery made her hands sure.

Two years later I came out to my parents, sitting on the same kitchen chair. I played it off as casual—there are worse things to be—and didn’t meet their eyes.          

When I stumble across my dad’s search history, I see articles with titles like “Trans-Trending” and “Why So Many Millennials Are Bisexual” and “Just A Phase?” and it’s been five, almost six years. I know he’s still trying to make sense of it. I wonder why he can’t just ask me. I wonder why I can’t ask him either, why I whip-stitch my lips together when I go home to him. He talks about his daughter with pride in his eyes. I bite my tongue at the she and silently replace it with they.

I’ve never said anything, and I don’t know if I ever will. I’m afraid of the response I’ll get, ashamed to be stripped down to bone.

I wake up in a cold sweat. I dream about my grandmother’s delicate hands quilting scraps of fabric while her husband went on strike and her family ate mostly love. I watched her hands shrivel and falter, caught the needle as it dropped. It pricked my fingers crimson; she was buried with her thimble. The fabric she stitched lays over me during the night. There are too many holes to keep me warm; the wind sings it to shreds. I shiver and she places her hands over mine, the last of her warmth.  

I am sewing her skin to mine; she is living through my young and trembling hands. Intricacies, keeping us stitched together. My mother did the same thing, I think. She has a bookshelf of patterns, some she’ll never sew. I silently leave a space in my home for the patterns to become mine. The empty spot gathers dust, yawning at me. There are pieces to be rearranged on my walls, beautiful, finished works of needlecraft.

I try to become the front of the embroidery, carefully created without a stray thread. The back is not supposed to show once it’s finished, covered with felt or a frame. I try to become the front; I am and will always be the wayward ends and the furled knots with their blurry shape and messy colors.

I’m not what a woman should be. I’m not even what a woman is. I stitch the confusion into my work, try to make some sense of it by organizing patterns. My thoughts grind against each other like transverse faults. Healing comes slowly, if at all. I let the fading light stream through the blinds of my apartment window and warm my face.

I make do—intricacies, French knots, squares in circular feminine boxes.

 My mother looks as me like my queer body is dirty sometimes, trying but falling short of understanding. I try to see nobility in my queerness where my mother sees sin.

Favourite Berena fanfictions - smut

I promised myself I would only pick my ultimate favourites, but this got into a rather long list. Hot, sweet, fluffy, tender, realistic, accurate, adventurous, damn near poetic at times (and extremely sapphic) - these are what smut should be, and then some.

Temptation by serenacampbell

Hello, Major by lesbianquill

Five New Things by Sapphicsarah

*batteries not included by ktlsyrtis

I’ll Walk You Home by Ames78 (featuring without doubt one of the best sex scenes I have ever read!)

Strawberry Swirl by ShellyLass

hold onto your words - parcequelle

Vergine by zoethart

The Heat of Us - BigBadWolfe (special shoutout bc this was one of the earliest smut fic, and the author was doing God’s work)

into each life some rain must fall by fortunatefolly

Bring On The Wonder by spilled_notes

Talk by Sapphicsarah

Days Like Any Other by MatildaSwan

toned to blue and grey by heartsways

we are professionals, after all by fortunatefolly

confined; undeniable by PotofCoffee

Counting the Ways by parcequelle

Your Favorite Girl - missparker

A big shout out to three fics I can’t seem to find on a03 anymore: Now Slides the Silent Meteor On (I think that’s the title. I know it just happens to be from one of my favourite poems ever and is deliciously euphemistic), The Most Wonderful Time of the Year (if I could choose one fic to read for the rest of my life this - and the next one - are tied) and damn my brain I forget the title but the one where it’s basically them having sex in a hotel room - all fics written by rizzthebizz. I have definitely read the last two about five times each. The author is basically the Virginia Woolf of lesbian smut.

N.B - I hope all the links are correct, but if I have made errors I apologise. All can be found on A03.

Also can we all spare a thought - and silent prayer - for what my search history now currently looks like!