Just imagine an alien’s reactions to getting a tattoo. I’m picturing the conversation going something like:
“Wow human-Sandy, that is a lovely painting on your arm. How long will it last?
“Oh, it’s permanent. It’s a tattoo.”
“What’s a tattoo?”
“Well it’s kind of like painting on your skin, but we actually inject the ink into us with needles so it’s more permanent.”
“Oh. That’s… nice.” And as he walks away he’s just muttering about how humans drink poison that ruins their liver, and inject ink into themselves “for fun” and none of his crewmates believe him because no species could be THAT self destructive, not even humans!
Of course later, Sandy tells them all about it, and once again they are left completely confused by the entirety of human existence.
perfect is easily one of the most romantic ballads since thinking out loud and ed has even said that he views it an outperformance in comparison to thinking out loud, which is interesting in this context considering how relevant thinking out loud is to everyone who remembers what happened at the 2015 brit awards. it was quite an iconic moment and it’s something people still talk about, so it’s especially intriguing that the song perfect is directly connected to it and treated as somewhat of a sequel
it also happens to describe dan and phil’s history together from past to present very accurately
honestly, i don’t listen to ed sheeran’s music regularly and although the lyrics aren’t the deepest or the most unconventional, i’ve been itching to write down some thoughts
Oh, I never knew you were the someone waiting for me
we’ll start right off with the first four lines in verse 1, which i believe are being sung from phil’s perspective (however, the perspectives are subjective and can change throughout the song) these lyrics mirror the start of dan and phil’s relationship. phil was generally more mature when him and dan first started talking, age wise and experience wise. phil could’ve technically been considered an adult while dan was still very young and inexperienced, hence why “Darling, just dive right in and follow my lead” is so fitting here. dan and phil were both very quick to love and didn’t think so much about the consequences of their decision to trust each other so quickly. phil quite literally invited dan to dive right in and follow his lead, professionally and personally. the last line can be used to describe just how unexpected it must’ve been for phil when dan came along. early on, dan’s main priority was waiting. waiting for phil’s responses on twitter. waiting for phil’s dm’s. waiting for phil’s texts. waiting for those 5 hour skype calls with phil. waiting to meet phil. only until later on did phil realize that dan was the someone for him
‘Cause we were just kids when we fell in love
Not knowing what it was
I will not give you up this time
But darling, just kiss me slow, your heart is all I own
And in your eyes, you’re holding mine
in the second half of verse 1, the first two lines once again touch on dan and phil’s maturity levels when they first met, referring to them as kids. they behaved as kids would, acting silly and goofy with each other and relishing in each other’s youth, savoring the honeymoon stage as much as they could. but with being a kid comes immaturity, and that side of them showed through some of their reckless behavior. they treaded on thin ice while not knowing what was beneath it as boundaries or limits really didn’t exist for them in the early days of their relationship
Baby, I’m dancing in the dark with you between my arms
Barefoot on the grass, listening to our favorite song
When you said you looked a mess, I whispered underneath my breath
But you heard it, darling, you look perfect tonight
this is where the tenses change and the song switches its focus on what is happening in the present, unlike the two verses in the song which seem to be reminiscing on the early days of a relationship. the first two lines of the chorus describe the bond that dan and phil have now and the moments that they share together. dancing in the dark in each other’s arms and listening to their favorite song implies that it could be a song that holds a special meaning for both of them specifically or a song that they are both able to connect to and enjoy together as best friends/lovers/etc because it reminds them of each other. the plural pronoun choice in that second line is accurate considering dan and phil share pretty much everything
Well I found a woman, stronger than anyone I know
She shares my dreams, I hope that someday I’ll share her home
I found a love, to carry more than just my secrets
To carry love, to carry children of our own
the second line in this verse is probably the most important lines because the song directs its focus away from the present and jumps directly backwards into the past, treating the chorus almost like it was was a mere glimpse into the future. dan and phil quite literally shared each other’s dreams back in 2009, phil was a youtuber and dan was an aspiring one. and although they had no idea whether or not youtube would’ve become as massive of a platform as it is now, dan and phil still shared a lot of goals and also supported each other’s individual goals that the other might not have shared with them. so yes, technically they were still sharing each other’s dreams merely through mutual support regardless of whether or not both of them had those same exact dreams in mind. “I hope that someday I’ll share her home” is such a meaningful lyric because dan and phil never had any idea that they would’ve ever had the opportunity to move in with each other and change millions of people’s lives together. all they could hold onto at the time was hope. but that hope was so worth holding onto because now they’ve been sharing each other’s home for over 7 years, literally and metaphorically
the last two lines are pretty self explanatory. dan and phil know more about each other than anyone else does and some of the things that they feel comfortable sharing with each other are things that they wouldn’t feel comfortable sharing with anyone else. aside from secrets, they carry each other’s love, and even though they can’t literally “carry children,” they have created a family together. the meaning of family in this context is subjective, whether you want to consider it a family solely between the two of them or the family that they’ve made with their audience
We are still kids, but we’re so in love
Fighting against all odds
I know we’ll be alright this time
Darling, just hold my hand
Be my girl, I’ll be your man
I see my future in your eyes
once again there’s another tense shift. the lyrics are insinuating that the present relationship still has much room for growth but has remained very genuine, which is also true in dan and phil’s case because they are visibly growing with each day that passes. they are growing professionally and personally and the amount of that growth, even just recently, has been astronomical. they see their futures intertwined and they truly are so in love
as for that second line, read it and really let it sink in… “Fighting against all odds.” if dan and phil have done anything in their goddamn lives, it’s fighting all goddamn odds. the odds of phil’s replies to dan on twitter leading to dm’s, the odds of those dm’s leading to 5 hour skype calls, the odds of those skype calls eventually leading dan to buy a train ticket to piccadilly station and actually meet up with this man whom he had met online, the odds of them taking the biggest risk of their professional lives and moving in together in the heart of london so they could pursue a radio show that they had no idea would either pay off or go down in flames, the odds of them actually creating this life together, helping each other through their sudden rise to fame? the odds of them actually having the opportunity to create such a unique community and change people’s lives for the better? what dan and phil have is not what society would deem conventional, but they have beat every normative agenda out there and have literally defied all odds. there were so many potential setbacks… there were so many things that could’ve gone wrong… but they didn’t.
Baby, I’m dancing in the dark, with you between my arms
Barefoot on the grass, listening to our favorite song
When I saw you in that dress, looking so beautiful
I don’t deserve this, darling, you look perfect tonight
Baby, I’m dancing in the dark, with you between my arms
Barefoot on the grass, listening to our favorite song
I have faith in what I see
Now I know I have met an angel in person
And she looks perfect
I don’t deserve this
You look perfect tonight
these last two choruses are very similar to chorus 1 with a few minor lyrical changes
chorus 3 is a lot more confident and hopeful of the future, much like dan and phil seem to be at this current point in time. the view that they have of their future seems to be filled with such good things, like moving and adopting a dog and whatever other “life things” they might have in mind. but i think the most important thing to consider here is that their futures are so tightly bound to each other, and they have nothing but tremendous faith in each other. whatever their futures may hold, it holds them together
now end this analysis with a visual of dan and phil curled up together in phil’s bed, reminiscing on how all of this happened and just how lucky they are to have ended up in this current moment with each other
i’m not saying anything but… perfect is the perfect song for them
So I went to drag con this past weekend (and I could write paragraphs on the experience alone, but that’s a rant for another time) and the first thing my friend and I did was attend the UNHhhh Live panel. Overall it was a special and amazing experience, but ONE THING, or should I say person, marred it.
This person decided it was a good idea to get up and read PORNOGRAPHIC fan fiction ABOUT Trixie and Katya OUT LOUD to Trixie and Katya. – AFTER THEY ASKED HER NOT TO! Trixie straight up said “no, please don’t.” and the bitch goes “Oh, just a few” and proceeds to take up 5 entire minutes (which doesn’t sound long, but trust me, it’s a lifetime when only 15 minutes are allotted for questions, others are waiting to ask theirs, and everyone in the room is uncomfortable) reading them DESPITE THE QUEENS’ EXPLICIT WISHES!
Let me be VERY clear here. I don’t care how well you THINK you know a queen because you’re a fan, you never, EVER have the right to put someone in that position. They were kind enough to humor her for one, but despite the fact that both queens and the captive audience were visibly uncomfortable, SHE WENT ON! Trixie had to FORCIBLY stop her mid sentence on her third (and most explicit) reading. It was truly awful. I later learned that Trixie’s boyfriend was also in the audience making the whole situation even more awkward and embarrassing.
I don’t know who this girl thought she was, how old she was, what possessed her to think this was a good idea, or why no one cares enough about her to stop her from doing this, but what she did to those queens is COMPLETELY UNACCEPTABLE. Please spread the word, tell your friends and neighbors, that NO MEANS NO, even in drag. Please remember that these queens are real people, they still reserve the right to a certain amount of privacy, and they still deserve your respect. DRAG DOES NOT NECESSARILY EQUAL CONSENT.
Bungou Stray Dogs or that anime/manga where almost everyone likes to be extra™ with their long coats.
Allow me to demonstrate with horrible pictures:
(I’ve probably made a big mistake, but this was something what I came up with when I suffered from insomnia, allergies and boredom. May contain a lot of typos and I do not know whether they are intentional or not. + I’m pretty sure I forgot someone from this “list”.. Oh well)
Edit: Yes. I’m ashamed, I totally forgot someone.
Edit, again: One kind soul noticed that I had forgotten our dear and beloved mafia dad:
Written for the following prompt: The house party me and my friends threw kinda escalated and after throwing out everyone I found this half naked person passed out in my bed but I can’t be bothered to wake them up now so I’m just gonna go to sleep and deal with it in the morning, they are kind of cute anyway AU
“Erica,” Derek says calmly—very calmly, he thinks, considering the situation. It’s two in the morning, he just trudged back from the library with a pounding headache behind his eyes, and he comes home to find their apartment the site of a raging house party, with drunk undergrads everywhere.
“Hey, Der,” she says, with that wide grin that only comes out when she’s had one drink too many.
“You didn’t tell me you were throwing a party,” he says, his jaw clenched, and she scoffs.
“This? This isn’t a party. This is a, uh, just a little get-together.”
Derek rolls his eyes. “It’s finals, for fuck’s sake. I’m going to bed, at least turn the fucking music down.”
He pushes through the crowd—accidentally hitting some of them with his backpack, oops—and finally seeks refuge in his room. The noise is dulled, blessedly, when he shuts the door behind him, and he exhales, letting his eyes fall shut. His momentary calm evaporates, however, when he opens eyes and notices the very important fact that someone is currently asleep in his bed, sprawled out on his stomach like he owns the place.
All Derek can see is broad bare shoulders, messy brown hair, and half of a mole-dotted face, pressed into the pillow and currently slack with sleep. Huh.
Derek sighs. He’s fucking exhausted, he doesn’t want to deal with babysitting some drunk kid right now, and he really doesn’t want him to wake up and then throw up in Derek’s bed or something.
Plus, the traitorous little voice in his head says, he’s really cute.
Derek shakes his head, irritated, as he drops his backpack on his desk chair. He strips down to his boxers and skips brushing his teeth—he’ll do it twice in the morning, and people are probably fucking the bathroom anyway, Jesus Christ.
Derek pulls back the comforter and gently slides into the bed, trying not to disrupt the mattress before he realizes that he’s being ridiculous. Why is he even considering a stranger’s comfort? It all seems for naught, anyway, because this kid apparently sleeps like the dead.
He takes a quick peek under the blankets, and at least the guy’s still wearing briefs, thank god. Derek doesn’t want to have to worry about accidentally sexually assaulting someone in his sleep.
He flops over onto his other side—thanks to the king size bed, his only grad school indulgence, there’s plenty of room—and closes his eyes. He’ll deal with this shit in the morning.
This is that fic I was talking about the other day, the one I wasn’t sure I wanted to post. I ended up writing TWO similar but distinct fics (different POV, different ending) based on the premise of this fic because I just kept tinkering with it, so this is the second version. The first one… idk, maybe I’ll toss it or maybe I’ll post it later for the curious among you.
Sterek high school AU, G, 1.7k words
Stiles thinks Scott is joking at first, mostly because he’s laughing so hard he can barely get the words out. “There’s a guy backstage asking for you by name. He’s got flowers.”
Stiles rolls his eyes and goes back to wiping the lipstick off his mouth. After four performances, he can get in and out of the dress and the wig in no time flat. He can even walk in heels without too much wobbling. But the lipstick? Bane of his existence. It still takes him a good five minutes of careful wiping and rubbing with petroleum jelly, and even then his mouth always has this odd orangish-coral tinge by the time he goes home for the night. By that point he’s usually too frustrated by the whole thing to even begin to bother with cleaning off the mascara.
Thank god this is closing night, and in a minute they can all go out for tacos and Stiles can set to work forgetting about lipstick for the rest of forever.
Scott’s still hovering at the door, anticipatory. “I think he likes you. Like, like-likes.”
“Ha ha,” Stiles says flatly. He tilts his head to the left and then to the right in front of the mirror, angling his face up into the lights. “Do you think I got it all?”
Scott gives him a careless glance. “Yeah, sure. Looks fine. But no, seriously, the girl who sells the tickets told me he’s shown up to every single performance.”
Scott isn’t joking. He’s laughing at Stiles (and okay, if their positions were reversed, Stiles would totally be laughing at Scott, too), but he isn’t joking. Fuck. Not even Stiles’ dad has come to every performance.
I was hungry at first but after awhile I got used to it, I guess. And I liked having the extra time to study and the more I thought about it, well if I don’t need lunch, then maybe I don’t need breakfast or dinner either. And it kind of became a new project for me. To see how long I could go without eating any food.
Remember how Ron Weasley sat with Harry on the Hogwarts Express his first day of Hogwarts not only because it was the only place, but because he saw that Harry was sitting alone?
Remember that time when Ron Weasley wrote home to his mother that Harry wasn’t expecting any Christmas presents so that she could send him something?
Remember that time when Ron Weasley told Neville Longbottom that he was worth 12 of Malfoy?
Remember when “Ron was the only one who stood by him”?
Remember when 12 year old Ron Weasley sacrificed himself to a chess game so that Harry could move ahead to stop Snape (Quirrell) from getting the Philosopher’s Stone?
Remember that time when Ron Weasley fiercely defended Hermione when Malfoy called her a mudblood?
Remember that time when Ron Weasley was terrified of spiders but went following them into the forest anyways for his friend?
Remember that time when Ron Weasley turned up at Harry’s house in the middle of the night to rescue him because he was worried that Harry wasn’t answering his letters?
Remember that time when Ron Weasley stayed at Hogwarts over Christmas because he didn’t want his best friend to be lonely?
Remember that time when Ron Weasley completely took over the studying for Buckbeak’s trial?
Remember that time when Ron Weasley stood on a broken leg in front of his best friend and told the man they thought was a mass murderer that if he wanted to kill Harry he would have to kill him as well?
Remember that time when Ron Weasley was personally insulted and guilty about the fact that he had been keeping the man who had betrayed his best friend’s parents as a pet?
Remember that time when Ron Weasley told Harry that they were coming to get him whether or not his aunt and uncle liked it?
Remember that time when Ron Weasley was the thing that Harry would miss most, even after he had fought with him just earlier that year?
Remember that time when Ron Weasley gave up time he could have been studying for his exams to help Harry prepare for the third task?
Remember that time when Ron Weasley used his powers as a prefect to defend Harry to the students who thought that Harry was lying about You-Know-Who?
Remember that time when Ron Weasley kept standing by his best friend all year even though it labelled him as a liar as well?
Remember that time when Ron Weasley fully supported the idea of Harry teaching them Defence Against the Dark Arts and stood up for him to Zacharias Smith who was being extremely rude to Harry?
Remember that time when Ron Weasley was absolutely furious about what Umbridge was doing to Harry in his detentions?
Remember that time when Ron Weasley removed the junk from on top of the knitting that Hermione put out to free the house elves because he knew it would be insulting and rude for them to pick it up without realizing it?
Rember that time when Ron Weasley supported Harry’s decision to talk to Sirius telling Hermione that Harry could “make his own decisions”?
Remember that time when Ron Weasley immediately agreed to go and save Sirius from the ministry?
Remember that time when Ron Weasley stood by Harry even after hearing about the prophecy which said that his best friend would either be killed by Voldemort or kill Voldemort?
Remember that time when Ron Weasley helped Harry find out what horcruxes were and get the memory from Slughorn?
Remember that time when Ron Weasley told Hermione to lay off on Harry about the Potions book and cursing Malfoy, because obviously Harry never wanted to hurt anybody?
Remember when Ron Weasley supported his best friend even though he was dating his little sister?
Remember that time when Ron Weasley stayed and defended Hogwarts when Death Eaters broke into the castle, even though he could have stayed safe by staying away?
Remember that time when Ron Weasley agreed to leave school to help his best friend destroy the horcruxes and told him that they would be there whatever happened?
Remember that time when Ron Weasley risked his life by taking the form of Harry to help him get safely away from Privet Drive?
Remember that time when Ron Weasley was a source of comfort to Hermione when she was upset about the fact that her parents didn’t remember who she was?
Remember that time when Ron was the source of all of the important information on the ministry when Harry, Ron, and Hermione needed to break in to get the horcrux?
Remember how Ron kept wearing the horcrux even though it was affecting him in a way much stronger than it did Harry and Hermione? Remember how he did that without complaint, accepting that it was all of their jobs to wear it?
Remember how Ron Weasley regretted leaving the moment he did?
Remember how he came back and saved Harry’s life?
Remember how Ron Weasley knew there was no excuse for him, but came back anyways, not expecting his friends to forgive him, but because he had promised he would be there?
Remember how Ron became the driving force of the trio after he came back, keeping them moving and on track, trying to make up for his mistake, still not expecting to be forgiven or even feeling like he deserved it?
Remember that time when Ron Weasley flat out refused to hand over Harry to Xeno Lovegood in exchange for Luna?
Remember that time when Ron Weasley screamed for him to be tortured instead of Hermione at Malfoy Manor? Remember how he ran around screaming her name and sobbing, wishing it was him instead of her?
Remember when Ron Weasley discovered a way to destroy the cup and made sure to get it destroyed?
Remember that time when Ron Weasley defended the House Elves saying that they couldn’t order them all to die for them?
Remember how Ron Weasley screamed out in defiance against Voldemort after they believed Harry to be dead? Remember how he continued to fight even though he knew what would happen if they lost?
Remember when Ron was the very best friend that someone could ever even ask for and how he was so loyal, kind, brave, and just an all around great guy?
Remember how Ron Weasley was a teenage boy who made mistakes but always acknowledged them and apologized, and never tried to make it seem like he didn’t do anything wrong? Remember how when he messed up he always worked hard to make his relationships stronger afterwards?
Ron Weasley is a great friend. Anyone who disagrees can fight me.
When putting together any kind of job spell, I always include items/herbs for four intents:
Wealth - actual physical currency I can use to pay bills and buy food.
Prosperity - long term ‘doing well for myself’ beyond just ‘having money for food and bills’, but really having at least the potential to Go Places
Luck - because heck knows I need luck in job interviews and to get people to look at my resume and application
Happiness - oh god, I didn’t include this in the first job spells I did, and LEMME TELL YOU, I wound up with a job that paid decently and had lots of potential for promotion, and I ABSOLUTELY COULD NOT STAND my boss or my coworkers, the work itself was awful, and I cannot describe the absolute dread that filled me before going in to every shift.
[Protip: Aventurine has all four of these properties]
Well, here it is. Because of the nature of the questions, IT IS NSFW, so if you’re uncomfortable with that, do not read, I have PLENTY of other work that aren’t NSFW at all that you can check ;-) (right here, my masterlist blog : https://ella-ravenwood-archives.tumblr.com). Anyway, I’m not great at writing headcanons so thought I practice a bit…hope you’ll still like it :
What turns them on?
✶When you touch him inappropriately in public. Especially at charities, galas and other balls. It drives him crazy the way you do it so sneakily so that no one but him notice. It’s a sure way to convince him to go home earlier. ✶Seeing you putting someone in their place with your wits and sarcasms after they’ve been rude to you…Oh he lives for this, and will have trouble to concentrate on anything else but wanting you. ✶Your smile. Your laugh. The way you light up his dark World. ✶That man has a thing with lifting your skirt slowly, and putting your panties aside. He couldn’t even tell you why, he just loves it. And obviously, it instantly turns him on when you let him. ✶Knowing that the emotions he feels for you can outlast the orgasm you both had. Oh yes. Knowing he’s loved, and can let go with you.
What turns them off?
There is very few things that turns him off when he’s with you, if not nothing (like literally, even when you’re being annoying, or when he’s being an ass, or if you just woke up and are disheveled and not really attractive…he’d still want you), as everything you do is just…Wow. He can’t get enough of you. Everything you do turns him on really. But He had experiences with other women before… : ✶Women who couldn’t handle a simple conversation. No connection at all with them, just sex. In and out, and then they’d be gone. He hated that. Which makes him love you more when you just spent time in each others arms talking about anything and everything. You’re the only one that makes him want to talk about what he feels and such…It’s a big relief. You’re his big relief. ✶He use to hate SO MUCH when he took a woman out that had a “fake hollywood accent”, or any fake accent. A lot of fake French one. They thought it made them more interesting, but the only thing it did, was making them super annoying to hear so…Yeah, massive turn off. He cringed more than once because of a high pitched voice, or an annoying one with a stupid fake accent. ✶Narcissism turned him off instantly. Oh the many women Alfred had to escort out because Bruce misjudge them…It happened to him a lot when he was younger, long before meeting you. He thought he’d find a kindred spirit, but turned out, it would just be a woman who wanted him for his money and fame, and who thought she was irresistible. Spoiler : those kind of women were rarely irresistible, to him at least. He could resist them very well. He could resist most women very well…But you. Oh you, it’s impossible. ✶Lack of passion. He just cannot even think about dating someone who isn’t passionate about anything. ✶Fake tits. That doesn’t even remotely look (or feel) natural. Fuck them. And oh the women he went out as a younger man had a lot of fake things physically (fake ass, tits, teeth, nose…), every thing was fake in them really, to their personality and smiles. He hated that with a passion, and often wished he could drop the “womanizer” and “playboy” persona, that wasn’t like his real him at all…Everything changed when you came in. You’re the best thing that ever happened to him, nothing fake about you (for real though, if you wanna tell him to fuck off because he’s being an asshole, they you’ll do so, and he loves that!).
✶Nearly violent sex. Bitey, grabby, pinny, not-holding-back sex. Paired with sweet words of encouragement and gentle forehead/Cheek kisses. ✶Surprise sex. You waking him up because his cock is in your mouth. Him whipping you around while you walk around the Manor, and boom. ✶Sex after an injury. He loves the way you’re careful with him, or how he needs to take care of you because you’re hurt. ✶He likes giving more than receiving. WITH YOU. Because he feels like he has to thank you to put up with his shit and antics…And you do it so well, oh he just has to please you. Doesn’t mean he’s against a good old blowjob though. Oh, and damn, the good old 69 am I right ? ✶He can be vanilla and/or rough, and you love it. He would never really hurt you (even if you ask him too, just light biting really), and most of the time you make love, rarely just fucking (unless you haven’t seen each other for a long time and you just need it)…He’s all for the sweet and cuddly aftercare. Cheesy man.
What turns them on?
✶You. Your mere presence. A slight touch of your fingers on his arms. And he’s gone. It’s not always great, like, you’d be in public and you’d just touch his thigh softly, as you do, and he’d give you “that look”… ✶Snuggles. Cuddles. Oh yes. ✶Neck kisses. It drives him beyond wild. ✶He will get harder inside you by the mere sound of your moans…And hearing you orgasm, clenching around him, is a sure way to send him over the edge too.
What turns them off?
✶Being with someone boring. Glad he found you. ✶If he’s with a “selfish lover”. He doesn’t mind giving at all, but for him, making love is a way to show mutual respect, to show how much you mean for each other…so if he’s with someone who only think about themselves ? No. ✶When his partner is too forward about wanting sex. “Want to fuck ?” Oh. Nope, he likes when it’s subtle. When you give him sultry looks and such. He likes the building up. ✶Bad breath. As simple as that.
✶Once, he was arguing with you and in the heat of the moment, you slapped his face. Of course you excused yourself profusely, until you realized he went from being annoyed to argue to being very aroused…You both learned something about him that day. So, light BDSM. Who would’ve thought ? ✶He lives for silly giggly sex. Pleasure, your moans and bad puns, how could it get better than this ? ✶Women’s mid sections. He loves slight belly and curvy hips. As simple as that. ✶He’s a sucker for romantic evening, that turns hot and steamy. ✶Rubbing your legs, ass and back during the act. Oh yeah.
What turns them on?
✶Seeing you punching people. It sounds awful, but the way you don’t let anyone walk on your feet and don’t hesitate to punch people even twice your size…He loves it. ✶If you wear a dress, your legs will instantly turn him on. He loves your legs. Especially when wrapped around his waist. ✶You love to dance, and hum songs you like…Big turn on every time, as he can’t get enough of your voice, and you’re damn sexy when you dance. ✶When you’re trying to contain yourself, but simply cannot. Muscles spasm and contort as you climax.
What turns them off?
✶Judgmental people. The kind who decides what you are before knowing you. ✶The daddy kink. Oh God, NO. ✶It’s something kinda silly, he knows, but he hates long unclipped toe nails. Ew. You laughed the first time he told you. Well, yeah, it’s super gross. ✶Lacks of enthusiasm and initiative. He can’t be with a woman who lets him do everything, chose everything for her. And who never initiates anything. Basically, the opposite of you.
✶Clothed sex, because it feels like you two are so hungry for each other, that you just can’t bother getting all the clothes off. ✶Sex games. First one to come loses. ✶Public and semi-public sex. Hey, he likes danger. When you two are almost caught…Oh the thrill. ✶He’s very creative when it comes to sexual position. As long as your comfortable of course…He’s sure glad you’re flexible by the way.
What turns them on?
✶Intelligent woman. Intelligence in general. ✶The way you look at him, with so much love, that makes him feel like he’s really wanted and needed…Sometimes, he just needs validation, as he doesn’t always gets it with his family. Fortunately, you’re here for that. ✶Nibbling on his ears and neck, while whispering sweet nothing. ✶Eye contact. He just loves it.
What turns them off?
✶Loud people. Oh God can’t they shut up ? He hasn’t slept for the past 36 hours and they’re making his head explode. Instant turn off if there’s too many noises. Though he loves your screams…It’s different ok ? ✶If you starfish. Making love is a thing he wants to do with you, not to a very passive you. Fortunately, you’re never able to “starfish”…you’d do it as a joke sometimes, because you know he doesn’t like it, and then you wouldn’t be able to resist moving in sync with him. ✶Nothing to talk about but yourself. Someone obsessed with themselves. Oh he hates it. He’s so glad he didn’t find someone who didn’t had any subject else than themselves. He’s so glad he found you. Because with the name “Wayne” comes a plethora of women only interested in money and fame, who loves no one else but themselves. ✶He hates feigned incompetence. Like a girl who acts like she doesn’t know anything about sex, while she’s clearly experienced. He always feels manipulated when this happens…
✶He loves to “discover boundaries”. Like what you like, dislike, what you two are willing to do, the extent you can go etc etc..Knowing just until where both of your boundaries go. ✶You two nerds invented a secret “sex langage” to be able to talk about it in public. Of course you would. ✶Nerdy dirty talk. Oh the puns about technologies, and pop culture you two are able to get out while making love : it’s endless. And he loves it. It makes him feel like he found just the perfect person for him. And you really are. ✶Lazy morning sex. Bath sex. Those private moment with you, where you can just both enjoy each other. Domestic moment sex if that makes sense.
Damian Wayne (older than his current age of course)
What turns them on?
✶Training together, seeing you fight and such. The way your body moves…Gets him every time. ✶The way you look at him and tell him “I love you”. He’ll never get tired of it. Seeing the love in your eyes for him, knowing you mean it, that there’s at least one person in the world that really love and appreciate his bratty ass. ✶When you caress his hair, fingers massaging his scalp. Soothing and arousing at the same time. ✶The way you bite your lips or stick out your tongue when you’re focused.
What turns them off?
✶He tries to be nice about it but…Body odors. If you smell because you two jumped on each other before you could take a shower…Instant turn off. Even his own smell could turn him off. Basically, if it smells bad, he won’t be able to concentrate on sex at all. He’s a living paradox however as he loves the smell of your sweat. ✶Hurting you. ✶Rude and vulgar people. ✶Lack of empathy.
✶Sensory deprivation. Like blindfolded, so you have to rely on trust and such. Or handcuffed, so you can’t touch and…again trust comes in. Sometimes, he would put headphones on your ears, so you wouldn’t know what his next move is by the sound…Basically, knowing you trust him and letting him do all that. ✶He likes trying new things.But will never do anything you’re uncomfortable doing of course. Consent is key. ✶Always the tease though. ✶Sometimes, he’ll argue with you ON PURPOSE just for the amazing make-up sex afterward…Each time you’ll give him a look meaning : “really Damian ?”, and he’ll just smirk back at you. He knows how to push all your buttons, and oh, he just really like the way you are during make-up sex. ✶You come first. He loves you, he wants you to be comfortable, but he also like trying new things and he’s so damn glad he found someones like you who’s willing to be adventurous.
(Hilly knows a couple things as a tadpole. He knows there’s probably a lax
bro hitting on him, and that Bitty’s super-secret boyfriend may or may not be a
middle-age lumberjack sugar daddy.)
Hilly knows a few things about Samwell’s hockey dynamics. He knows he is a
tadpole; he initially expects to be hazed to the ground and forced to eat dog
food or something like his roommate, who is currently rushing a frat. He
expects the Haus to be dirty and filled to the brim with red cups and sticky
floorboards. He also knows not to hang out with the lax team because Ransom and
Holster said so, even though a cute boy who he thinks is from the lax team
winked at him in his Intro to Anthropology class. He knows that NHL’s very own
Jack Zimmermann, son of ‘Bad Bob’ Zimmermann and legendary hockey extraordinaire,
is a Samwell alumni, and had slept in the very room which Chowder, their
goalie, currently inhabits.
But Hazeapalooza turns out to be nothing as bad as he expects (he even gets
homemade pie out of it, even if Holster gives him the side-eye). And the Haus
is cleaner than a sports frat house should be. The hockey team is nice (and surprisingly
socially aware) and Hilly likes Samwell fair enough, but he misses home
But Bitty makes things better. Hilly likes Bitty a lot. He likes hanging around
the Haus and watching Bitty roll pastry dough with a practiced, methodical hand
because it reminds him of how his mom used to bake cookies for him and his
sister. Bitty doesn’t mind too much (he thinks) that Hilly may want to go on a
date with a lax bro. Bitty bakes him peach cobbler with crumbles toasted a
golden brown and talks about his family’s jam recipes. Bitty is open and warm
and welcoming. However, the one thing Bitty doesn’t talk much about is his
Summary: AU. Reader left behind a hometown full of misery to make a new home in Brooklyn. A death in the family forces her to briefly return to the place that has haunted her dreams and memories for three years. Will she finally be able to move on, or will a figure from the past change everything?
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader
Word Count: 2,837
angst, language, more angst, mention of alcoholism, mention of death, mention of funeral, mentions of neglect, mentions of estranged family members, heartache, sadness, mentions of sad childhood
A/N: This is the first part of my submission for the talented and wonderful @tatortot2701 ‘s AU writing challenge. (Tay, please disregard until it’s completed!) Y'all wanted angst, well…I took a fluffy prompt and darkened it. I tried not to but this story wouldn’t leave me alone. I’m not sure how many parts it will have.
My prompt was 28 .“____ is not a real word.” “Yes it is!”
Pairing: Reader [Vampire AU!] x Taehyung [Werewolf AU!]
Word Count: 6.7k-ish
“Hmm, sweet or savory?” You questioned yourself as you sat
kneeling in front of the lower cabinet of your mansion, deciding between eating
cake or making some noodles for yourself.
You were so lost in your thoughts that you didn’t seem to
hear the faint, hesitant steps that lead up to your door, your attention only
snapping back to reality when you heard the ring of the doorbell. Within seconds you opened the
door, surprised to find Taehyung standing outside.
“Y/N-ah…” He looked up at you and you were taken aback by
the unexpectedness of his visit, eyes growing wide at the sight in front of you.
You hadn’t seen him for years, not since his wedding which
you had so pleasantly graced with your presence in addition to your present
which was probably the most expensive one there. Although, he hadn’t expected you to show
up, not after the disagreement you both had had but smiled softly when he saw
you seated in the crowd.
You, a vampire, wanted to spend the rest of eternity with
Taehyung, who was also an immortal but a werewolf. He had argued with you,
saying that your decision was based on comfort and ease more than love, that
you were just trying to find someone who could rid you of the loneliness that
came with your unending days. You wish your mind had worked faster, but before you could even deny his accusations, he was already gone.
Well here’s the thing: I have been doing it long enough now to know that there are really great times and there’s not so great times. It’s all a rollercoaster, man. It’s up and down, and people are going to love things you do, people are going to hate things you do. That’s part of it. Actually, it’s nice when people hate what you do, because it’s still a passionate feeling about it. It’s kind of when they’re indifferent, you’re like, “Oh, well, what am I really doing?” It’s nice to go one way or the other.
“The truth is, I wanted to become a storyteller. I apprenticed myself when I was fourteen. But because of my personality, I never took off.
I gave up and thought about leaving, but the 7th Generation kept me on, doing odd jobs. Later, Hatsutaro-san and the young master joined the household, and I ended up looking after them. They both had charm and talent. Their personalities were like oil and water, but because they were both kind, they got along very well. Watching them both gradually advance in their careers warmed my heart. Because they lived all the dreams that I couldn’t.
The thought of getting to see the both of them off…
It’s a sign that I’ve lived a bit too long, perhaps.”
I Think I’m in Love With My Tutor (Newt x Ravenclaw!Reader)
**Not my gif**
Heyyyy!!!! First ilysm, second, can you do a newt x ravenclaw! reader and she is forced to tutor him for his bad subjects but they end up liking each other!! FLUFFY PLZTAHNK YOU - @just-a-bit-odd
THIS IS THE LONGEST FIC I’VE WRITTEN AT 1777 WORDS AND I LOVE IT TO PIECES I’M SO PROUD OF MYSELF AND I HOPE YOU ALL LOVE IT AS WELL
You were Y/N L/N, one of the brightest Ravenclaws at Hogwarts. The top in all your classes and well-liked by your teachers and peers.
It was the end of your potions class. You neatly tucked your book and quills into your bag and were on your way out the door, but your professor stopped you.
“It appears one of my Hufflepuff students has been struggling with his work. If he fails my class, he’ll have to take it again.”
“And what do you need me for?” you questioned.
“Since you’re one of the best students, I figured you could tutor him. I’ll gladly give you some extra credit for it, though I’m sure you don’t need it.
“Lovely. Who is this boy?”
Your mind starting racing. Oh Merlin. The adorable Hufflepuff with the freckles and always smells like cinnamon but no one knows why? The one that loves nothing more than magical beasts and creatures?
You snapped out of your daze. “What? Oh–uh–yes, of course I’ll tutor him.”
“Thank you. He tends to daydream during class. Once he nearly dropped his baby bowtruckle… oh what’s its name… Stickett? Kickett? Something like that. Starting tomorrow you will meet in the library an hour before dinner,” your professor finished.
You nodded. “I won’t let you down, professor. But there is one more thing I need.”
“And what is that?”
“Could you write me a late pass?”
**Time skip to next day**
Your potions books were neatly stacked in your arms as you quickly made your way to the library. You were very eager to see Newt, even though you were pretty sure he had never heard of you.
You are not going to make a fool out of yourself, Y/N! You thought to yourself.
You kicked open the library door since you were holding books, which earned you a lovely “SHH!” and a stern glare from Madam Pince. You flinched and mouthed a quick “sorry” and walked behind a bookshelf out of her sight to the table where you saw Newt sitting. He appeared to be talking quietly to a tiny, green stick-like creature.
You set your books down, causing him to rapidly look up and the creature to scramble and bury himself in Newt’s breast pocket.
“O-oh, hello. I didn’t see you there,” Newt said.
You smiled. “I’m sorry I startled you and your… uh… pet?”
Newt cocked his head and then realized what you were talking about. “Oh! That’s Pickett, my bowtruckle. He has some attachment issues.” Pickett popped his head out of Newt’s pocket at the sound of his name.
“He’s quite adorable,” you replied, observing the bowtruckle.
The little bowtruckle made a tiny squeaking noise as to say “thank you.”
Newt smiled in the cutest, dorkiest way possible. No one had ever complimented his creatures before. “He likes you.”
“I would hope so,” you said. “Now let’s get started on your studies, Newt.”
Newt all of a sudden flushed a deep shade of red. “Uh… what if I told you I didn’t know your name…?”
You chuckled. “No need to be embarrassed. It’s Y/N L/N.”
“That’s very pretty…,” he whispered under his breath thinking you couldn’t hear him.
“What? Did you say my name is pretty?”
Newt’s eyes got unbelievably large and his cheeks unbelievably pink. “What? Oh–uh–no! I mean it is–but–!”
You cut him off with a giggle. “It’s fine! Don’t beat yourself up.”
Newt looked utterly relieved.
“So, shall we begin?”
You spent the next hour going over potion basics with Newt.
“Okay. How long does it take to brew polyjuice potion?”
Newt knit his eyebrows. “Isn’t it… ten minutes to twelve hours?” Newt answered
“Well… you’re close. That’s how long the effects last. To brew the actual potion takes one month,” you corrected in a kind tone.
“Sorry… potions has never been my best subject.”
“Don’t apologize. Care of magical creatures has never been my best subject,” you said, trying to make him feel better. “But I need to know this in order to help you learn. Do you really just not understand potions at all or do you just not pay attention?”
Newt thought for a moment and then turned a light shade of crimson. “I guess a bit of both…?”
Hearing this, Pickett popped out of his pocket and whacked Newt’s face with his slim, green twig-like arm before ducking back down.
“Newt.” You spoke in a stern tone.
He sighed. “Fine! I don’t pay attention… it’s not interesting to me.”
You nodded. “I understand, but it’s important if you want to pass your N.E.W.T.S. and graduate. It’d be kind of sad if you fail a test that literally has your name in it. But that’s why I’m here, to make sure you ace it.” You glanced at the dusty old clock on the wall. It was time for dinner. “Well, we ought to get going to the Great Hall. Same time tomorrow?”
Newt nodded. “Yes. Thank you, Y/N. For tutoring an idiot like me.”
“Newt! Don’t say that to yourself. By the time N.E.W.T.S. roll around, you’ll be a pro with potions.”
You closed your books, picked them up, and went on your way to the Great Hall.
Newt stayed seated, thinking. When the professor told me I was being assigned a tutor, I didn’t expect it to be the lovely Ravenclaw girl that sits in front of me in Charms. I wonder if she sees me the same way… Oh, Newton, what are you thinking? This is just charity work.
The same time for the next two weeks, you met Newt in the library to read from your books and quiz Newt’s knowledge on potions. But today you wanted more hands-on with potions. You asked your professor if you could use the potions for what was next in your book: amortentia. Your professor trusted you and granted you permission as long as you or Newt didn’t drink it and got rid of the extremely powerful love potion straight after. Of course you accepted the rules; you would never use a potion to win someone’s heart. You would hate knowing that someone loved you only because you drugged them.
The professor informed Newt of this location change during his class.
You were patiently waiting in the potions room alone, standing beside a cauldron. Originally you were going to get there early and have all the ingredients laying out and ready to be used, but you decided to leave that to Newt. After all, he had to learn somehow.
After five minutes, Newt came stumbling through the door, panting.
“S-so sorry I’m late,” he panted. “There was a–uh–incident, in the forest.”
You chuckled at how cute he looked. “No worries. Anywho, today I’ll be teaching you about amortentia. You know what that is, right?”
He nodded. “An extremely powerful love potion.”
You smiled. “Correct. Are you familiar with the ingredients?”
“Uh… I think I know two. Ashwinder eggs and… peppermint?”
“You’re right.” Newt grinned when he heard this. “The others are rose thorns, powdered moonstone, and a pearl dust. Now, would you please get them from the shelves?”
Being a wizard and all, Newt whipped out his wand and accio-ed all the ingredients to him which he then placed on the table in a neat, orderly line.
You clapped your hands together. “Wonderful!” You grabbed one of your potions books and flipped the amortentia page and lay it out for Newt to see. “I’m not going to help you brew it.”
Newt’s face dropped a bit.
“However, I will let you know if you’re doing something wrong that could result in the deaths of both of us. Got it?”
“Y-yes,” Newt answered, tad worried.
“Then go ahead get started.”
Surprisingly (but not so surprisingly since you’re the best tutor ever), Newt did everything right. The amount of each ingredient was correct, and he stirred them in the correct way, counterclockwise. Once he was finished, the potion was shiny and steam lifted in a spiral shape.
Newt set the ladle down. “Did I do it right?”
You nodded and smiled. “Perfectly!” You leaned over the cauldron and inhales it’s scent. “Hmm… F/S, F/S, and… huh… I can’t make out that last one… What does it smell like to you?”
Newt sniffed the potion. “Clean wool, cocoa… and…,” His eyes got large.
You looked at Newt with concern. “Is something wrong? What is it?”
Newt turned his gaze to the floor. “Your hair…,” he whispered, nearly inaudible.
You blushed. “It smells like my hair?” you said quietly. Your mind was racing. MERLIN I’m something he loves!!!
“Yes…” Newt replied just as quiet as last time.
You gently put a finger under his chin and tilted it up to look you in the eyes. “That’s okay… because my third smell was your hair.”
Newt blushed immensely. Pickett suddenly appeared out of his pocket and squeaked.
What happened next was something you’d never thought Newt Scamander would do in a million years.
Newt quickly leaned in and kissed you. It only lasted a second before he pulled away to
look at you in complete silence. But then you grabbed his collar and pulled him in for another kiss, this one longer and full of passion. Newt’s hands feebly found there way to your waist (aw he’s such a cute muffin) while yours tangled themselves in his light brown curls.
When you had to pull away for air, you were all smiles.
“Y/N, you probably already realized this but… I love you,” Newt said.
“You should have seen me when I was told I was going to get to tutor you… I love you too, Newt.”
Pickett popped out again and made a mad squeaking noise.
You giggled. “You too, Pickett.”
Newt looked at the clock. “We’re five minutes late for dinner, we should get going. I assume tomorrow’s session will be more… interesting?”
You raised your eyebrows and laughed. “Wow, Newt. And I thought you were innocent! You go ahead to the Great Hall, I need to get rid of this amortentia.”
Instead of walking out the door, Newt came around behind you and wrapped his arms around you tightly, resting his chin on your head. “I’m not leaving without you.”
“Aw, you’re so sweet.”
“And the Slytherins said I could never get a girlfriend,” he said and kissed your head.
You leaned back into his embrace.“Well, we’ll show them, won’t we?”
“Am I allowed to carry you to the Great Hall?”
AHH I hope you enjoyed it just as much as I do! Please let me know what you thought of it!
This is my first post-episode overview commentary because I just was surprised how much I liked this episode. There was still some wtf-ery but generally I enjoyed it and, well, I can’t help but link everything to Destiel these days and the Destiel itself was strong but man, the continued breaking down of the barriers to it becoming canon more textual just keeps coming this season.
The women: Ok so I really hope they follow through on the Mary can actually “have it all” and I hope there’s a reason for Kelly’s characterisation like she’s being mind controlled by the kid, but other than that I’m pretty happy with this episode? Kelly textually said she was used. Yes, thank you.
Mary and Ketch - I didn’t…hate it? Ok so it’s a bit weird but only because we have info on Ketch that Mary doesn’t? To Mary he is her trainer, he’s charming, he helped save her boys…. she doesn’t know about Magda, Toni, maybe not even how vicious he can be…. and Mary is allowed her fair share of Winchester terrible sexual partners and she’s a big girl, she can do what and whoever she wants as long as it’s not hurting anyone.
And there is a clear Destiel-related reason I am 100% OK WITH MARY MAKING THIS DECISION! (see below).
Crowley / Lucifer: I’m hoping this whole thing is just another set up like it was last Bucklemming episode, to be ‘fixed’ later, I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt there.
Mick: I liked Mick, I wanted Mick to live even though I knew he wouldn’t really. At least now people wont be worried he’s replacing Cas. Oh well. Also, kind of re-cements Ketch as our bad guy. Will he still try to kill Mary? *drum roll*…
Omg the Saileen: They are cute, they HOLD GREAT EYE CONTACT and all the little smiles and flirting while at the same time wow badass hunter couple. And Sam learned more sign language?! And they talked before off screen after Coeur d’Alene and its implied they talked more than that?! Yes please!
My head canon is that that night she still couldn’t sleep after killing whatisface snobby Brit guy (yeah, another snobby Brit guy, thanks for that), knocked quietly on Sam’s door, he wordlessly offered his hand to her, she climbed into bed with him, they cuddled and he comforted her, that is all. They are so pure and I love them.
They can be a badass hunter husband and wife and just all the cuteness.
Ok so the Destiel:
Pining!Dean is what I live for in these kind of episodes. Whispers *Thank you Bucklemming*?
Dean / Cas and Sam / Eileen clear romantic parallels all episode! Dean not deflecting and admitting he is worried to Sam! (Also aside - Dean admitting Mick drank him under the table and not posturing like he’s this big macho guy).
Dean called Cas 4 times… that day. I would also be worried, Cas always calls Dean back. They also text regularly. So yeah. Also the callback of Mick talking about Lucifer being in your boyfriend. Ouch. Also MORE Dean calling Cas away from Sam *satisfied face* - will add this to my already long phone call post ;)
Ok, so the Mary/Ketch thing…
Personally, Destiel shipper hat on I hope that between the colt and this, when Dean finds out it will really cement his realisations this season about his feelings for Cas.
If Mary can sleep with who she wants why can’t he? He’s put her on such a pedestal and she’s shown she’s human over and over again, this would cement it for Dean. And if Mary can sleep with someone she doesn’t love, who Dean knows is a psychopath (even if Mary doesn’t), why can’t Dean acknowledge his own pure, healthy feelings of love for Cas?
I don’t know if I’m voicing this coherently but I have feelings about this ok.
This season is just building so much to break down the walls around Dean / Cas:
1. Dean generally is letting his facade down and letting his real self shine through, see ALL the meta about the whole of season 12 plus the textual whole episode of 12x11 showing us this is what we are meant to be seeing and getting from all this.
2. Cas was / is still thinking about where he belongs. Dean was / is still worried that everyone he loves will abandon him. THESE THINGS TIE IN TOGETHER AND ARE TEXTUALLY TIEING IN TOGETHER THIS SEASON.
3. Sam and Eileen are / could be a cute hunter couple and a great example. Sam doesn’t have to rely on Dean if he has someone else. Dean can move on himself much as a single parent often does once they know their child is emotionally OK. Check.
4. Mary shows him that he doesn’t have to worry about *shame* on the family. She might even say something to this point about herself if they discuss this (I’m looking at you leaked argument between Dean and Mary in 12x21).
5. Cas has told Dean that he loves him. And yes I will go on record AGAIN to say that Sam and Dean both had an acknowledged, directed, written, face of REALISATION when Cas made the clarification and made clear the first I love you was to Dean alone. Even if it wasn’t (pffff), it was written ambiguously for a *reason*.
It seems Dean is realising now how ‘fragile’ Cas is. He is no longer on the ‘Cas’ll be fine’ band wagon. HE IS NOT MAD, HE’S WORRIED.
There is a reason twitter is awash with -
WHERE IS THE ANGEL?!
- every episode since 12x12 (even 12x15 only had marginal Cas and no real Dean/Cas other than both times it was gloriously, clearly, romanticised).
We are supposed to be worried, to be missing him because Dean is worried and missing him and off course this flows through to the show’s narrative and they’re making us feel this (and I’m sure Sam too of course but its not the same).
I keep seeing marching band aus out there but I don’t agree with them so I have to make my own. Here goes!
- dedicated tuba
- somehow first chair even though he’s convinced that the rest of his section is better than him???
- he’s very modest
- has lungs like a fucking blimp
- *plays thirty-two 4/4 measures at a super slow tempo*
- *still hasn’t taken a breath*
- always making sure the rookies are taking care of themselves
- “did you eat breakfast today??” “are you drinking water???” “don’t strain yourself too much, but remember to practice! :)”
- the band mom
- has the music memorized the day after he gets it and no one understands
- except pidge
- the only one who doesn’t break a sweat during band camp and the others are so concerned
- “shiro seriously are you dehydrated you’re supposed to sweat how are you not dead”
- shiro: *shrugs* *does the entire routine* *isn’t exhausted yet* *still hasn’t sweated*
- fourth chair saxophone
- would play bass guitar during concert season but he loves his saxophone
- can play alto, tenor, and bari, but alto is his favorite
- “it’s so small omg I love it so much”
- would die for anyone in his section
- has memorized every alternate fingering ever and is happy to share his knowledge
- he’s on the loading crew because he can carry a sousaphone in each hand and a bass drum on his back
- not very good at sight reading
- he has to hear the music before he can play it
- but he plays great by ear
- has never chipped a reed
- not even at band camp
- pidge is jealous
- just. sounds like an angel when he plays
- takes such good care of his sax by killing literally anyone who touches it
- “did you just dent my saxophone”
- terrified rookie: um I’m sorry omg don’t hurt me I don’t wanna die I’m so sorry I’ll do anything
- most of the younger kids are absolutely terrified of him and he’s okay with this
(I’ve seen a lot of “trumpet keith” aus but honestly?????)
- keith is drum captain
- he plays snare and he fuckin kills it
- keith is not a good leader in most aspects of his life but when it comes to music he’s just so in tune to it and he knows exactly what everyone needs to do to make the music perfect
- one of those people who can tell whether a note is in tune just by hearing it and he hates it
- “pidge you’re out of tune”
- “I just came from the tuner I’m perfectly in tune!!”
- “okay but you’re not you’re a bit sharp actually”
- doesn’t know how to dynamic
- “okay keith that was great but you need to tone it down a bit. play a bit softer, your dynamic is piano”
- “lol what does softer mean”
- he just beats the drum as hard as he can all. the. time
- never officially came out to the band, coran found him and lance making out in one of the practice rooms and afterward lance wrote “keith is gay and dating the color guard master” on the white board
- everyone was confused because “why would he date allura if he’s gay”
- lance was very bitter
- trombone during concert season
- but in marching band he kills with a flag
- so flexible omg
- “keith look what I can do with my leg”
- “please untie yourself you’re going to get stuck”
- (he has gotten stuck before)
- hips made of fucking. rubber or something idk how do they mOVE LIKE THAT
- he and keith are not allowed to be within sight of each other in shows because keith gets so distracted by lance’s Hips From God™
- gives the rookie guard members makeup tutorials
- has a large role in the costume designs for the year because in lance’s rookie year the outfits were clashy and not good and lance was horrified
- he vowed to fix this abomination
- has never dropped a flag. not once.
- he has, however, lost grip of his rifle several times and accidentally nailed someone in the head
- he is the reason all the rifles have grippers now
- second chair clarinet and super salty
- has a photographic memory so she memorizes music like that
- doesn’t understand bass clef and will never try
- “that’s an e”
- “no pidge this is bass. that’s a g”
- “that’s a fucking e fight me”
- absolutely despises first chair clarinet
- “he’s so cocky I hATE HIM SO MUCH”
- really good with rhythms?
- hunk doesn’t understand this
- “hunk all you do is count it. look”
- “can you just sing it for me i’m lost”
- drinks 2948592859$-484 gallons of water per day
- puts on so much sunscreen during band camp that she gets paler
- “pidge why don’t you lay off on the sunscreen and try to get a tan”
- “because, lance, not everyone wants to get fucking sKIN CANCER”
- when she burns she burns bad
- somehow still has a sock tan???
- “heh look pidge’s feet are DARKER than her legs. told you you were getting paler”
- her reeds never last more than two weeks
- they are always broken, usually because she refuses to buy a mouthpiece cap
- “pidge this is why you’re second chair”
- doesn’t do trills. ever. hates trills almost as much as she hates the first clarinet
- coran tried to get her to play bass clarinet in concert once
- her reaction was basically ???????
- “coran i’m three inches tall and have the muscle mass of a corn chip I can barely lift my regular clarinet”
- absolutely lives by the “if you see a word you don’t know look at the director” rule
- no knowledge of musical terms
- “accelerando??? lol what’s that”
- baritone during concert season
- color guard captain
- the master of “spin a thousand times without getting dizzy”
- perfect balance
- has literally stood on three fingers and twirled a flag with her foot and could do it again
- very loud
- she will always be heard
- thinks the rookies are cute but she will not put up with their shit
- “lance stop giving everyone makeovers we’re supposed to be learning the routine”
- has made a flower crown for her flag
- so graceful
- has never fallen
- has dropped the thing she was twirling (flags, rifles, sabres, etc) exactly once and that was because she threw a sabre at lance’s head
- coran was not pleased but it was pretty funny
- can do your hair 101 ways but only one of them is acceptable because we all have to look the same, goddammit lance stop with the braid trains
- doesn’t take lance seriously at all and tbh he doesn’t blame her
- took dance classes as a kid and found that she enjoyed it
- but color guard is where she belongs
- (even if some of her fellow guard members *cough*lance*cough* are assholes sometimes)
- one time a toddler ran out onto the field during a show and hugged allura’s legs and she melted
- “coran can we keep it”
- “her parents are right there”
- “but can we keep it”
- pretends to be Mature and Serious but in reality she’s as much of a dork as the rest of the band
- once she heard a cheerleader say “i’m glad we don’t have to work with the band like the color guard” and she decked them
- has temper issues but is overall a great performer
- the wacky director
- band camp stories take up half the class time
- if someone doesn’t want to play this part again, or is tired of marching this set, all they have to do say “hey coran did ___ ever happen at your band camp” and coran will never shut up again
- this is a risky move though because if he realizes what you’re doing you will never see the light of day again
- the living embodiment of “one more time” *ten times later* “one more time”
- “if you’re not perfect then we’re not competing”
- was humiliated once by a rival school because of an immature band
- will never let it happen again
- tries (and fails) to reference modern pop culture
- “i think you kids will like this song! it’s kind of like that one the kids sing now with the doors and the painting”
- “the what now”
- “you know, the one by those scared parties”
- he means well
- super chill but if you get on his bad side then you will see hell
- jokes around a lot but he is serious when it comes to music
- and if you’re not then coran will not hesitate in kicking you out
- “if you can’t play your instrument then you wON’T PLAY YOUR INSTRUMENT HOW’S THAT BYE FIND A NEW 5TH PERIOD TEACHER”
- a professional Student Roaster™