this is just me trying to fix my feelings

anonymous asked:

Is it bad that I don't like spending the holidays with my family? I don't hate them or anything like that, I just have nothing in common with them. I don't know, I feel bad.

Listen, unless you have an amazingly supportive close-knit family, everyone reaches an age where they don’t want to hang out with their family. There are millions reasons why, but take a look at yourself and see just why you don’t want to, and try to fix that. For me, it’s because more than half of my family has disowned me, so when I hang out with the few who feel bad for me still talk to me, it’s just awkward. But sometimes it’s just really nice to be around family, and you don’t get that nice feeling unless you go out and actually be with them.

I was talking to someone about Fury Road today and they said ‘I just hated how it had no plot. They just left and then turned around and went straight back, it was so stupid’ and I think my soul was in danger of leaving my body because really - that’s the whole point. That’s the great message of Mad Max Fury Road - they need to leave and go back because they need to understand that the Green Place doesn’t exist. Valhalla doesn’t exist. There’s no better place waiting, no Eden to escape to, nowhere for Furiosa and the wives to run to. This world, broken and damaged and war-torn as it is, is all they have, and if they want a Green Place then they have to make it themselves. They have to choose peace. They have to choose love for each other. They have to take the seeds from the older, violent generation and start again. They have to destroy the oppressive power structures holding them back, capitalism and the patriarchy that Immortan Joe represents.

The Green Place was around them all along, and it takes this long, cyclical journey to understand that, both for them and for the audience. The circular narrative structure is an absolute work of genius, and the fact that the entire plot can be boiled down to “they leave and come back” is an indication of how well this works as an action movie - that the plot is simple enough so everyone can understand what’s going on while explosions are going off and cars are racing past at 100mph - yet it’s still incredibly rich and wonderfully complex too.

And what a pertinent message to send out - the generations before us killed the world and now it’s up to us to fix what’s broken. There’s no Green Place but the one we make ourselves, which will be born out of fire and blood and rise from the ashes of the old world.

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HEY KID, HAVE YOU EVER WANTED TO WRITE YOUR ENGLISH ESSAYS COMPLETELY IN CODE? WELL, NOW YOU CAN DO THAT! 

Presenting one of the nerdiest things I’ve ever spent three hours on: 

Fordese. Exactly as seen in Journal 3, but as a font. You too can confuse your work partner, twin brother, and dream demon arch-nemesis by simply typing on the keyboard as normal, no pen needed!

I must thank @picnokinesis and the fics they wrote in code for putting the random inspiration in my mind to do this, ahahah. XD 

The font includes all coded letters from A-Z, both in uppercase and lowercase. (They’re both the same, though- I just figured it wouldn’t hurt to double up.) It has a full set of numbers, and the most common punctuation. Some of the letters are annoyingly close to each other, but it couldn’t easily be helped. 

But hey, if anyone actually uses this and makes a post, please feel free to tag me in it so I can see! And if anyone tries this out and there’s any major issues with it, let me know and I can try to fix it! :D

You can find the font right here!

How the Venus signs want to be loved

*use venus but check moon as well*

Aries Venus: love me back but don’t chase me lol it’s my job to chase you duh…I’m going to make it obvious what I want. don’t overcomplicate things, love is simple. let’s make it fast. let’s jump into it. let’s make it exciting!!! it’s like a game and I’m going to win you

Taurus Venus: love me by staying the same. please. be there for me. be someone I can count on. be patient. feed me!!!! I like that. give me things!!!! I like that too. okay, okay, fINE I might want to possess you wHOOPS…just don’t push me or…bye

Gemini Venus: wait wait do I like you or do I like this other person????? or that person??? wait wait I’m just going to not think about it oooooh I’m curious about you now idk we can be together for today if you want but it’s chill!!! talk to me!!!! let’s just have fun!!! let’s not label this that’s so serious and boring!!! you can change, I can change, and I mean it’s cool if we want to also date 3 other people too lol like no biggie, it’s vARIETY haha just don’t pin me down or get too deep otherwise I’ll be out the door in 0.03 seconds

Cancer Venus: love me!!!!!!!! I’m so lonely!!!!! :((((( I just want you to be soft and hold me and tell me you’re committed and that you love me!!!!! I need to hear that because I feel like no one loves me ever :’( I want to stay at home and cuddle with you and you can tell me all of the things you’re feeling <3 and maybe I’ll smother you a little haha but dON’T LEAVE PLEASE

Leo Venus: love me back and I’ll show you how much I love you!!! like, all the time!!!! if I love you, know that it’s a compliment because I only settle for the best. you’re all I’m going to brag uM I MEAN talk about!!! if you make me the center of your world, I’ll make you the center of mine!!! we can have fun, all I need is attention and validation jUST A LIL BIT BE PREPARED and I’m the king/queen here so tell me I’m wonderful and amazing because I don’t hear that enough :/ if I don’t take pride in our relationship, see ya. that means you didn’t dESERVE ME

Virgo Venus: love me by letting me help you!! okay oKAY I’M A LIL INSECURE but I’ll do things for you!!!! I’ll make you feel loved without all of that sentimental lovey stuff - we don’t need that! my one flaw is that I see all of the flaws in our relationship and you - and want to fix them!!! and…nagging…sometimes…but just to make you better!! I just want things to be simple and practical!!! nOTHING BIG NOTHING TOO INTENSE THAT’S SCARY I MIGHT FREAK OUT AND LEAVE

Libra Venus: haha you can love me if you want to ;) but I mean only if you want to…like…I’m not trying to force anything here lol!!!! we can be in love…and have a beautiful pure relationship where we sHARE everything <3 and make everything look like we’re perfect :) I’m into equality :) um like don’t freak out but sometimes I’m just trying to be nice and it turns into flirting bUT IT’S OK…I know it’s weird but I really don’t like people who are too pushy I just want someone who’s going to be polite and nice :)))))) so if you’re not that I mean I’ll still be nice to you but just I might not want to be with you idk we’ll see AHHHH decisions are hard for me in relationships!!!!

Scorpio Venus: I’ll love you if you can handle me. I would say I don’t open up easily in love, but then that would be opening up to you. and I can’t do that. what I can do is be in control. I know how to handle this. oh, I’ll commit, it’s just not everyone knows how to figure me out. and I won’t stop until I find someone who’s willing to go deep with me. and I might stare at you for extended periods of time. you call it obsession, I call it intensity.

Sagittarius Venus: we can be in love if you show me the world!!!!! let’s grow!!!!! and expand our horizons!!!!! and laugh!!!!!! and have FUN!!!!! lot’s of FUN!!!!! oooooooohhhhhhh and if you’re foreign then I’ll REALLY like you!!!!!!!! wooooooooo love is an adventure!!!!!!!!!!!!! the only time I’ll leave is if I feel like you’re dragging down my free spirit!!!!!! I’ll find someone who’s more interesting and cultured than you are on my next expedition!!!

Capricorn Venus: okay. we can be in love but first I have to have a plan. I like plans. and feeling competent in love. I like seeing what I want and going for it. nothing crazy or overly gooey. nope. can’t do that. I just need someone who’s going to help me succeed. I’m cautious, but only because I don’t want you to waste my time that I could be using to be better and work harder. I’m always looking ahead, and I need someone to be there with me. let’s put effort into this and make it long-term. if you’re not willing to, then I will turn stone cold.

Aquarius Venus: I would say we could be in love but let’s not call it love!!! let’s call it whatever!!!! something we can’t label!!!! let’s mix it up because this world is so dull without us!!!! um…what’s attachment??? could you explain that word to me, please??? all I know is that we can be friends, you know??? and I’ll choose the terms, okay?? haha let’s be intellectual that’s pretty cool there’s no attachment there I know that and um sorry but eW FEELINGS lol not in a rELATIONSHIP if you want to bring that stuff up I’m not right for you I guess :/ find someone more boring

Pisces Venus: looooooooooveeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!! uh, sorry, what were you saying? oh, I’m just projecting all of my ideals onto you. no, it’s a compliment!!!!!! I accept all of your flaws!!!!!! aw let’s be romantic that’s so cuuuute <3 and yeah I’ll forgive you, it’s okay!!!! but sorry um I like you and all but it’s hard for me to commit sometimes because I see all of the possibilities!!! um, who am I??? I guess it doesn’t matter!!!! let’s live in a world of rainbows and unicorns together!!!!! but I mean it’s not really nice if you take advantage of me :((((

send ‘😢’ for a randomly generated starter/drabble from 72 angst prompts

Triggers such as Suicide, Self Harm, Death, Addiction, Drugs, Alcohol, Murder, Assault, Abuse, and injury. Some prompts are fluffier/lighter than others. Some are very dark.

If the generated prompt is a speech text / dialogue, then you decide who is saying it ( your muse or my muse )

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things i love about my hero academia

(not all of them because then this would turn into a 500 page journal that could be published and sold and no one would buy it because no one is as much of a nerd as i am)

  • our main protagonist is not a traditionally masculine hero. he’s small, he’s weak, he’s a crybaby, he’s sensitive. especially in the shounen genre, this is a pretty rare thing to see, and even as Izuku grows as a person and becomes more confident in himself, he’s still shy and anxious.
  • he’s also a fanboy!! and not in a bad way!! it’s his fanboy nature that allows him to express himself and show how smart, intuitive, and observant he is
  • the character who does get all the traditionally masculine traits is the character everyone in the main cast acknowledges is a total asshole who mercilessly bullied and abused his classmate/childhood playmate
  • it’s also very clearly seen that Izuku has been conditioned (unintentionally) to fear Bakugou because of all of that physical and emotional abuse. just because he’s a hero in training and he’s learning and growing and becoming more confident doesn’t erase all of those years of bullying
  • it’s also acknowledged that they are children and still have room to grow. Bakugou is an asshole, but he’s not totally villainized for his behavior and is given the chance to change and become a better person because he’s only sixteen years old and still has time to change
  • and he does!! he makes an effort to change and try to adjust his behavior to make a more positive impact (even if it is a slow and arduous process, we do see him make great strides throughout the manga)
  • it would have been really easy to just throw Bakugou under the bus and make him a villain, but instead we get to see his growth as a person as he matures and enters the world of adulthood
  • All Might is the no. 1 hero, the Symbol of Peace, the man everyone thinks is invincible, and he has a chronic condition. he’s missing his stomach, he’s had multiple surgeries, he spits up blood, he literally looks like a skeleton, guys. but even after the reveal, people still admire and look up to him as an idol because he’s still All Might and he still protected and saved a lot of lives and was still a hero
  • All Might’s relationship with Izuku just in general. seriously, i could make an entirely different list just based on their relationship and 95% of the fandom has already talked about them, so i won’t gush about their relationship too much here
  • the fact that most of the adults take responsibility when they fuck up. the police force realize they’ve relied too heavily on heroes, specifically All Might, and they make an effort to change that so they can help people. the teachers at UA recognize that they’ve neglected students who need psychological help. Izuku’s mom acknowledges that she should have encouraged his dream in spite of his quirklessness. most stories, even in the west, don’t have nearly as much adult responsibility as this series does
  • the elusive living anime mom
  • okay but seriously, Inko is quite possibly one of the best fictional moms i’ve seen in a long time. she’s loving and encouraging and she tries her hardest, but she’s not perfect. she’s a single mom caring for her son, who wants to go into this incredibly dangerous profession. and when he gets hurt enough times, when her limit is finally met, she puts her foot down and says “no. i love you, but i can’t let you keep getting hurt like this.” like any reasonable parent would. and the only way she relents is when she sees how much Toshinori wants to teach him and nurture him and encourage him and see his dream recognized and she sees how badly Izuku wants to continue down this path, even if it’s under her terms.
  • this series seriously tackles a lot of topics that you wouldn’t expect it to. you know you’re gonna get the usual topics like what makes a hero, what makes a villain, etc. but, it also goes over other subjects like bullying, parental abuse, discrimination, grief, inferiority complexes, how easy it is to create a monster, redemption. this is a manga about teenagers learning to be super heroes, how did it turn out like this
  • it would have been so easy to sexualize any of the girls. this manga, in the hands of a lesser author, would have featured a lot of fan service shots of the girls. Momo especially, considering she wears a very revealing outfit. and yet, none of them are sexualized?? in any way shape or form??? yeah, we see Momo shirtless a lot and some girls wear skin tight outfits. but, you know who else has skin tight outfits and revealing hero costumes? the boys. and when we do see a shirtless girl or boy, it’s not framed in a way where we’re meant to be objectifying their body. there’s a reason why it happened and we move on. it’s so refreshing.
  • (there are only two fan service female characters. one uses her sexuality to get free shit and the other is meant to make you uncomfortable. take it what you will)
  • we get a lot of unique designs for each of the characters. there are no same faces. each character has a unique quirk and a design that belongs to them. they aren’t interchangeable with one another. Izuku looks like Izuku. All Might looks like All Might. they all look unique with different shapes and sizes
  • (admittedly the manga still kind of falls under the trap of the boys get to have weird, strange designs and the girls all kind of look cute, but it’s not nearly as bad as some other shows. and honestly, if that’s my only complaint, that says a lot)
  • fighting doesn’t solve everything! there’s a really incredible few chapters in the manga dedicated to acknowledging that Izuku and Bakugou seriously need to talk to each other about what Bakugou did to him. they’re both incredible people in their own right and they can learn a lot from each other, but only if they stop fighting and actually communicate with each other. one of the chapters is literally titled “a meaningless fight”. because it is meaningless. it’s not going to solve their problems, fix past mistakes, or make them feel better. it’s a fight to get aggression out because Bakugou doesn’t know any other way to deal with his emotions and trauma.
  • kindness is rewarded!!! cruelty is not!!! i’m really sick and tired of TV shows and movies trying to sell this pessimistic outlook that everything sucks and that gives us the right to be assholes to each other just because it’s edgy. My Hero Academia is such a positive manga and it brings me so much joy and happiness and it sends such a wonderful message of anyone can be a hero if you have a good heart and that kindness will be rewarded, even if it takes a really long time.

i love this manga so much and it’s given me so much light and happiness in my life and if that makes me weird because it’s anime, then fine. whatever. i don’t care. i’ll love it for as long as i can, dammit.

What I learnt after losing 20kg in 3 months

1. It always starts on a high note but the key thing is to keep it going.

You see someone losing a lot of weight and suddenly you are so inspired and pumped to reach your ideal weight, or you realise that you have put on a significant amount of weight and decide to crash diet. It could even be for an upcoming important event. Usually this inspiration will last for a week or two, after which you start to give yourself a little more allowance, this is where most people fall back to where they were. It happened to me countless times.

You have to want it bad enough.

2. You have to be consistent.

Losing weight is hard af, but the important thing is to be consistent. This is what I did:

- take weekly progress photos (whenever I see how my body changes week by week I’m motivated to push on)

- weigh in weekly (I know how easy it is to be obsessed with the scale)

- follow inspiring people (this helps you more than you think)

- whenever I feel lazy to work out, which happens almost every single day, I tell myself this: ‘if you get out there and do what you have to for 30mins, you are one step closer to your goal. If not, the time will pass anyway even if you’re scrolling through Facebook.’

3. Workout

I started with swimming because it was the easiest. You don’t sweat as much, it’s easy on your knees, and it burns a shit load of calories.

After some time, I switched over from swimming to cycling HIIT on my stationary bike. After which I started doing blogilates’s PIIT28, and started hitting the gym after that.

What I’m trying to say is, change up your activities once in a while! Add some variation to your workout by keeping things interesting and you will look forward to it.

My best friend got me out of my comfort zone. I have been so unfit all my life that I wasn’t able to complete even a 2.4km jog. She dragged me along for a run and I fell in love with jogging. To be fair it happened about 6 weeks after I started working out.

It doesn’t get easier, you just get better!

You only need 30mins a day to complete your daily workout. Choose one workout, be it jogging or HIIT, and just do it!

No matter how tired I am, I make sure to get my 30mins in. Sometimes I impress myself with my determination.

4. Moral support

You’re committed to your goals and are working hard towards it. We all know it gets lonely sometimes. Motivate a friend to do the same! Motivate each other when things get tough or the scale is not budging. I’m lucky to have my BFF on this journey together with me.

Even for those who discourage you or those who once called you fat, you got to have the fire in you to make a change and prove them wrong!

Do it for yourself, your love ones. I know you can. I have fallen off the wagon many times too. But the lower you fall, the higher you will fly. Believe in yourself. I promise you, once you start believing, everything will fall in place. There will not be success without failure. You will get there sunshine. One day you will shine. You just got to start believing in yourself and start working damn hard towards your goal.

Old saying but pushes me a lot: 
it’s never going to be easy but it’s going to be SO worth it.

5. You didn’t gain it overnight, don’t expect to lose it in a month.

Don’t be demoralised just because people ain’t noticing the changes. Don’t beat yourself up.

I gave myself 6 months to reach my goal weight. 7kg more to go! Yay!

6: Your boobs/butt will shrink, there might be loose skins/ stretchmarks if you lose weight too fast.

What I did for boobs and butt:

Do planks and squats every day. Yes every day. It helps firms your boobs and squats give your flat booty a lift. 

I learnt this the hard way. Losing 50kg in a year 2 years ago definitely tested my skin’s elasticity. I researched ways to reduce the appearance of stretch marks since the only way you eliminate them is through a laser surgery.

Loose skins and stretchmarks are tricky. I tried everything so I can’t pinpoint what worked and what didn’t.  But it reduced the appearance of stretchmarks and my skin doesn’t look too loose either.

What I did:

- Drink lots of water (it really works!)

- Dry brushing

- Body scrubs (if you ask me I would say coffee scrub, I didn’t start selling it for no reason)

- Bio oil

- Clarins body tonic oil

- Weight training/resistance training                        

7. Relationship with food

Many asked me what meal plans do I follow or do I have certain calorie restrictions.

I have to clarify that I’m not going for a hot lean body hence this method might not work for you if you are going for that.

I do not follow any specific meal plans. I did many times in the past and tried countless meal plans including Herbal life, natroslim or even master cleanse diet. I’m not saying that all these doesn’t work, they do. You will see yourself losing weight, but it isn’t sustainable.

I eat whatever I want now but I control the portions strictly. I cut out sugar drinks too. Don’t underestimate the calories you are taking in as well, it could be the reason why you are not seeing results.

Learn to say no when being offered food (who does that?!). It’s not easy to say no to the piece of chocolate your best friend got for you, but it’s even harder burning it off later during your workout. If you didn’t plan to eat it, don’t. Save it for another day.

There are days when I have peanut butter toast in the morning, fish soup for lunch and economic rice without any rice (just the meat and vege side dishes) for dinner.

But there will also be days where I crave fried chicken. I order them without sides and go without sugar drinks.

Sometimes I live on ban mian (Singapore-style noodles with mince pork soup) without finishing the noodles. Or some days I have fruits before going to bed.

I try to keep my calorie intake within 1500. I don’t feel starved at all and I eat whatever I want in moderation. It keeps me content to keep going.

You are what you eat. If you know the food you are craving for is unhealthy, have it in small amounts. We all know what happens when we over indulge. A healthy journey consists of 80% diet and 20% exercise.

Food that will help you in your journey:

- Water, just drink enough water.

- Unsweetened green tea, yes you’ve heard this 2 million times. But it works.

- Fruits: Papayas, Watermelons, Apples, Bananas, Lemons and Kiwis.

- Needless to say lots of vegetables

Try new recipes like cauliflower rice. Or replace potato chips with kale chips.

There won’t be any food to avoid in my list because I genuinely believe in moderation.

8. Curbing cravings

You just had dinner but you are craving for dessert. We all know it’s not acceptable to do it every day.

I’d go for a jog if I were you. The cravings for unhealthy food usually subside after a run. You’ll burn 150 calories with 30 minutes of jogging, but it takes 1 serving of potato chips to gain it back. Is it worth it? You be the judge.

If not I’ll find an alternative like yogurt or fruits to curb the cravings.

The last method is to take off your clothes in front of the mirror and stare at your body. Tell me if you still want that tiramisu after that.

Many times we eat not because we need it but because we want it. A treat is only a treat if you have it once in a while. 

9. Shitty days

Just recently I broke down and cried just because I felt fat. I felt like the ugliest/biggest girl in the world and I just wanted to hide away from the world. There will be days where you feel like shit and nothing you do makes sense to you.

I allowed myself to cry and tell myself that I’m not good enough.

Sometimes we have to embrace our emotions instead of hiding them. Only when we acknowledge what we are feeling, will we be able to fix what’s really broken inside.

After my emotional battle, I pick myself up and continue whatever I was doing. I fixed what was going on inside and stayed focused. People around me saw results. I saw my results. I deserved every single bit of it because I worked hard for it.

Happiness is a choice. You are how you feel about yourself.

Don’t give up on something just because of the time or the difficulty to achieve it. The time will pass anyway. If you don’t work on yourself, who’s going to do it.

I learnt to love myself for every stretchmark, cellulite and scar that’s on me. At the same time, I do my best to be a better version of myself.

10. Take a break If you are tired, not quit.

Lastly, regardless how many times you fail, as long as you get up and try again, you will succeed in the end.

Getting healthy is not a quick fix, it’s a lifestyle. There will be days you feel like eating fast food and not working out. But as long as you get back on your feet the next day, I promise that everything will work out.

Never ever give up on yourself and your body, because you are the only one living in it.

Hope this helps!! Happy 2017! Keep on rocking! :) Let’s embrace 2017 together and achieve whatever you need to acheive!

@motiveweight - submission 

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i wasnt feeling okay for a while

4

I saw this post and thought of bakugou :/

hi i wanted to write a post about BDD (body dysmorphic disorder) because ive never ever seen it discussed and i would like more people to be aware of it and maybe, some other people will realize they have it and not feel so messed up like i did for a long time

BDD is a disorder that makes you hyperfocus on your appearance, a lot of times its a specific part of your appearance. you obsess over a perceived ugliness and it preoccupies a lot of your time & makes daily functioning/social interaction very hard. its linked with other anxiety disorders (specifically OCD which i also have) and sometimes is thought of as being a subset of OCD

heres some symptoms in no particular order:

  • hiding/masking yourself (needing to put on a lot of makeup, always wearing sunglasses or baggy clothes, in my case i have to wear band-aids on my face and sometimes have to wear a literal face mask)
  • intense anxiety/suicidal feelings if “mask” isnt available
  • need for reassurance about appearance, but then immediately disqualifying any compliments you receive (”theyre just saying that to appease me, its because this picture was in a certain lighting/edited, i was wearing makeup” etc)
  • self-worth largely tied to appearance and thus feeling worthless very often. as a consequence it becomes really hard to talk about symptoms because preoccupation w/ appearance is seen as “vain”
  • withdrawal/fear in close or intimate relationships for fear of being seen as ugly
  • avoiding social situations for fear of being seen as ugly
  • looking in the mirror a lot (or avoiding mirrors), analyzing appearance daily, picking at skin/face/etc
  • comparing your appearance to other peoples (excessively and constantly: “people think this person is pretty and i look nothing like them so im ugly. people have called this trait ugly and i have it so im ugly” etc)
  • missing school, work, other events bc you feel like everyone will be staring at you and judging your appearance. this contributed to me dropping out of school
  • obsession with changing appearance or “fixing” perceived defects (personally i was obsessed with skincare for a long time and was always trying to find the perfect skincare routine and spent so much money on products trying to make my acne go away)

theres probably more but yea, this is getting really long! i would really really appreciate if people reblogged this so other people can know about it, also if you have any questions or just want to talk about your experiences feel free to shoot me an ask!

#omegaverse #mutual-pining #angst

Prompts: @fiftypurpleroses
Author: @queenofthyme

It comes out of absolutely nowhere. One moment Harry is sitting in Charms class, innocently focusing on the lesson, the next he’s fantasizing in great detail about fucking Draco Malfoy.

All his senses are honed into Malfoy, sitting two rows ahead of him. And look, it’s not like Harry hasn’t thought about it before, but not like this. Not so strongly that he can’t think of anything else. Not so wildly that he wouldn’t be opposed to doing it in the middle of the class, students and teacher be damned.

Malfoy is squirming in his seat, restlessly fidgeting, and Harry isn’t sure how, but he can tell Malfoy is aroused as well. Can tell the bead of sweat dripping down the back of Malfoy’s red neck is a sign of it. Can tell that Malfoy would certainly be open to a mid-class fucking. Except how can he know that? It must all be wishful thinking, a product of his own arousal.

Although when Malfoy excuses himself and strides past Harry to the door, there’s no mistaking the lustful stare directed Harry’s way, or the smell of Malfoy’s arousal. The smell? What the fuck.

Harry quickly excuses himself, not even bothering to come up with a reason, and follows Malfoy out into the corridor, all his senses on fire. Malfoy is waiting for him, pacing the hallway, his eyes filling with heat as Harry approaches.

Without thinking, Harry grabs hold of Malfoy and slams him against the wall, ready to ravish him completely, right here in the open. But a tiny glimmer of fear shows in Malfoy’s eyes amongst his arousal and the charm is broken.

Harry takes a step back, blinking. What was he just about to do? “Sorry. I didn’t mean to – “

Malfoy laughs humourlessly, cutting Harry off. “Harry Potter is an alpha. Of fucking course. I was supposed to be an alpha.”

“An alpha?” Harry repeats. His brain is foggy from suppressing his arousal. “What are you talking about?”

“How do I even explain? It’s – look, you’re an alpha. The top dog. The lead. The dominant one,” he says resentfully. “I’m, well, I don’t know what I am now.” He slumps back up against the wall.

Harry still doesn’t quite understand. But he can hardly see how his “alpha” status, whatever it is, has any influence on Malfoy’s. “Can’t you be an alpha too?” He asks.

Malfoy rolls his eyes at Harry’s naivety. “We can’t both be alphas.”

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Late Night Magic | Part 1 | LOKI LAUFEYSON X READER

Description: Nightmares are a common occurrence for the reader as her power emanates darkness and danger. This leads to an odd connection between her and Loki who resonates with her through 2:30 am conversations.

Author’s Note: This is my first Loki fic and it’s highkey trash. I saw Thor: Ragnarok this weekend and haven’t been able to get this dam god of mischief out of my head since. So yea that’s how this was born because I couldn’t focus on my homework until this was done lmao. Anyways, as always I appreciate feedback so tell me what you think! Part 2 maybe? Until next time my dudes.

Word Count: 1531

Part 2 | Fanfiction Masterlist



With my breath caught in my throat, I sat up straight in my bed with a start. Gasping for air and trying to even out my breathing, I ran a hand through my (Y/H/C) hair and closed my eyes, clearing my thoughts.

Rubbing my eyes wearily, I turned my head slightly to the right and sighed dejectedly at the flashing red numbers of my nightstand clock that read 2: 37 am. I proceeded to stand up out of my bed shakily and walk over to my bedroom door stealthily.

I walked on the balls of my feet as to not make any noise, wondering down the hall into the living area of the Avengers Tower. My feet unconsciously brought me to the wall of windows that overlooked the city. I found myself staring dazedly down at the still busy streets of New York as my heart rate slowed back to normal.

“And what are you doing up at this hour of night?” a deep voice pierced the silence from behind me.

I turned around quickly and raised my hands defensively, drawing in a quick breath. My gaze fell upon a dark figure who was sitting on the sofa behind me with what appeared to be a book. I relaxed slightly and let out a sigh of relief when I recognized the familiar face of a prince of Asgard.

“Oh Loki… it’s just you. You scared the living shit out of me you know,” I whispered huskily, clearing my throat slightly.

Loki closed his book and sat it down on the coffee table in front of him, leaning back into the couch nonchalantly. “I can tell,” he replied glancing at my hands. “Would you mind turning those things off?”

I looked down and saw black flames erupting from hands like fireworks. Letting out a slight chuckle, I shook my wrists, extinguishing the black flames. “Why might I dare say that you, a literal god, is scared of my dainty mortal hands,” I quipped raising an eyebrow.

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Underverse  0.0 to 0.3 re-upload?

Hi everyone! Jakei here.

Just as the title of this post says, I’m thinking of re-upload the first full episodes of Underverse again.

Why is it a remake or something?
Not actually. For so many months I haven’t been so happy about….my english. Yeah.
Mostly of you know that my first language is Spanish, not english. And since the beggining, my english level was SO bad. I think this affected my work, which, it makes me feel so uncomfortable since my animations’ quality is..good?.

Or maybe I’m being too perfectionist…

Many people helped me to improve my english and fix the grammar of the scripts before I started to work, but it always happened that in middle of animating I decided to change or add something…and ended by screwing everything up.

This sometimes really frustates me, because I’m actually pretty good in Spanish grammar (Ironically). And (Trying to not put this into personal stuff but…damn) I feel so stupid for some reason when I can’t express myself fluently in this language, and I’d just like to have no voice so I would never say something stupid or something with nosense.

The second reason I don’t want to see my Youtube Channel, is because of that. 
I’m okay with animation mistakes, but never with the main thing that matters in a story that is writting.

So…taking the point of this post, I’m probably going to reupload the first episodes on Underverse with their respective parts in one video. (And maybe fixing other things like sfx and music before I had Stereohead and Nyx’s help…Oh! And the blog’s previous name, too).

When that happens, the current videos will be set as “hidden” Because I don’t really want to saturate my channel with the same thing. This may make life easier for people who don’t get used to watching an episode with so many parts.


That’s the idea but I think I have to think more about it…I’m rambling here. Just wanted to let you know in case you have some advices or if someday you will ask why did I do this.


See ya in the next update!

5

Im trying to learn my anatomy and drawing what Im studying tends to help me remember things better, so I made this! I made this for personal reference but figured it might be helpful to some of you trying to learn hands too? It helped me a lot so I just figured, eh. I tried to keep it short and simple without going into too much detail, so pardon if there’s some stuff I omitted. Feel free to use it if you like! Im planning on making a Part 2 soon, which will have the hand structure, surface form, proportions, finger tapering, foreshortening, etc. Also please excuse my writing, I did my best to make it neat! >_<

Edit: fixed the insertion point of the adductor pollicis. Everything should be okay now!

Edit 2: Part 2 is out! Linked below!

Mirror For The Sun - Part 8: Change of Plans

Masterlist  -  Series Masterlist  -  Part 7 - Part 9

Summary: (Bucky POV) Nat tricks you into leading a road trip with Bucky, Sam and Steve. Her plot is partly to get the boys to travel for fun for once but mostly to get you and Bucky together. You and Bucky, who seemingly despise each other.

Warnings: swearing

Word Count: 3171

Author’s Note: Gah sorry this took so long. I’m already starting on prt 9, so hopefully it won’t be as long for the next one.

Originally posted by gliceria

This morning is a battle. It’s a battle to focus on really anything but Y/N. I’m just not sure what to make of any of this. I have no idea what she’s thinking while she flits around the campsite packing up the sleeping bags and tent while Sam works on breakfast. She doesn’t seem any warmer to me than she is to Sam, playfully dodging his reach when she steals a piece of bacon, or than when she grabs Steve’s arm to get an extra lift to push the tent bag on top of the car. I can’t figure out if this morning was just a weird thing in an emotional moment or if it was something more.

It’s also a battle over the next stop. She’s sitting stubbornly on the picnic table holding her atlas while Sam begs her to get in the car. Steve is rolling his eyes and I’m barely holding back my laughter.

“Come on! You’re being such a princess!” Sam scoffs, “Get in the car.”

“No! Vegas is not part of the plan!” She shouts back defiantly.

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User guide to your INFJ

Your INFJ comes with: 

  • One (1) crystal ball 
  • One (1) social mirror
  • Five hundred (500) calendars 
  • Unlimited stock of fears and worries 

Features:  

Ni: This feature makes the INFJ able to think of any consequence of their action, making them seem psychic. Ni also leads to sudden realizations. 

Fe: This feature makes the othervwise socially awkward INFJ able to socialize by mimicing the features of their interlocutor. Fe does sometimes fail. When this happens make sure the INFJ doesnt start digging a hole for themself to live in.

Ti: This feature makes the INFJ able to overanalyse the crap out of people, pay too much attention to insignificant detail and read too much into said detail. 

Se: This feature is the INFJs appendix. You should might consider to have this feature removed, as it causes the INFJ to occasionally overeat, oversleep, binge drink etc. Call the service number for advice if this is wanted.

Care: 

Food:
The INFJ may forget to eat, and they may overeat. When your INFJ haven eaten in a long time, suggest that they should eat something. They will appreciate this and take it as a sign of care. However, do not speak about their overeating. EVER.

Sleep
Your INFJ will (usually) make sure to get enough sleep. The exception is if they are in a particularly stressful period. In such periods they might end up pulling all-nighters, or they might just sleep to avoid the stressful problem. 

Hygiene:
Your INFJ will have an ok hygiene. This is because of their fair of smelling or in other ways making themselves look bad to other people. With some INFJs this will comepletely change if they are alone for the day. They might forget that brushing their teeth is even a thing. 

Stress:
If the INFJ is put under too much pressure and get stressed, the INFJ might:
a) become emotionally cold, forget essential needs and become too focused on work.
b) overindulge in certain activities, like watching a lot of TV, overeating, binge drinking etc. 

Other needs:
Your INFJ will need hugs and words of affirmation. However, they will usually not initiate it or ask for it. As much as they hate to admit it, they also need advice sometimes. If your INFJ seems to be having troubles with opening up, you can always give them some alcohol. NB: your drunk INFJ may just end up handing you all the drinks. This is because they fear being the drunkest one at the party. 

Relationships with other units:

NTs: Your INFJ might feel intimidated by the xNTJs, but usually love the company of xNTPs. 

NFs: In interaction with other xNFJs, the INFJ and the other unit will usually just mirror each others behaviour, opinions and feelings. It usually works out fine. In company with certain NFPs the INFJ will sometimes feel scared to voice an opinon. With other NFPs this isnt an issue at all. 

SPs: The INFJ will usually get along ok with the SPs, but might get tired of their need for adrenaline, as this will tire out the INFJs Ni. 

SJs: Your INFJ will usually get along great with xSFJs. The xSTJs, like the xNTJs, might intimidate the INFJ. 

FAQ

There seems to be a problem with my INFJ’s speech, how can i fix this?
Theres nothing wrong with your INFJ. Not being able to speak properly is one of the INFJ’s “charming” characteristics. You can however give the INFJ something to write on, and they will comminicate like a poet. 

Why is my INFJ so emo? 
W
e are trying to fix this problem, but have not found a cause yet. When this is fixed, there will be a softwere update available. 

My INFJ is being really socially awkward and asking me weird and boring questions, what should i do?
Nothing. The INFJ will usually be very stressed out when talking to new people. This will get better as your INFJ feels more comfortable around you. 

My INFJ is just like me, does this mean i am an INFJ myself?
Nah bro, they want you to think you’re alike. 

Can my INFJ read minds?
What no ofc not huh hehehe ehm hehe….. 

My INFJ knows things about me haven’t told it. Has it developed AI?
We are aware of this feature in the INFJ, but can’t offer any answer to how they do it. 

My INFJ has been sitting in the corner of their room staring into the air for three days. What should i do?
In this situation you have a few possible solutions:
a) Let your INFJ sit there. They will get back to normal in not too long… (hopefully)
b) Give your INFJ chocolate and hugs .
c) introduce your INFJ to an ENTP. The INFJ will hopefully get so distracted from their thoughts that they forget all about them.
d) try turning your INFJ off and on again. 

Caught on Tape

Title: Caught on Tape

Author: SomeonexSomeone

Pairing: Ethan Nestor x fem!reader, fem!reader x best friend!Amy and best friend!Kathryn

Word Count: 1570

Summary: Requested. I adore your blog. Can I request an Ethan x reader where the reader is a YouTuber and won’t do the smash or pass challenge bc she has a crush on Ethan so Kathryn and Amy and the reader are having like a sleepover and they do that to the reader and when they mention Ethan she gets all embarrassed and says smash and admits she has a crush on him and Ethan overhears and then fluff happens. Sorry if this is too specific but I love your fics!!

Warnings: Swearing! A little inappropriate! Please watch out, innocent eyes!

A/N: For @all-i-have-is-my-honor ! I hope you like it!

Originally posted by crankityler

        If there was one place that was a more accepting environment than anything, it was the youtube community. Despite some hate, there was always people who created a loving place where everyone was invited and could be themselves. This was especially true for small channels, such as your own. And especially when you collaborated with other small channels. 

        This week, yourself and Ethan, from Crankgameplays, were doing a small play through of Would You Rather. It was a silly thing, sitting across from each other reading the questions which prompted more specific thoughts than you imagined. The twist, however, was if you were in the majority of votes, you got to draw whatever you wanted on the other persons face without lifting the pen; and vice versa. However, right at the begging, you had to establish some rules. 

        “Ethan!” You yelped, pulling far away as you smacked his arm. He was practically red in the face as he laughed, the jumbo liner in his hand shaking. “You cannot draw a dick on my face!”

        “This is what you wanted! You practically forced me!”

        “By what? Putting the pen in your hand?!”

        In the end, you forced Ethan to turn the two circles into a heart, one that took up the top half of your face, straight down the middle. As the game continued, the drawings went from goofy to more and more detailed, yourself and Ethan turning into walking canvases. In a particularly detailed drawing, you were drawing gears that looked like they were coming out of his face, you grabbed his face, practically pulling him against your chest so you could get a better angle. Standing over him, concentrating so hard you didn’t notice Ethan’s face progressively getting redder by the second, completely eye level with your throat and collar bones. Or, more importantly, the dip of your shirt. 

        “There!” You sat with a huff, falling back into your chair with a smile. You couldn’t help the fur between your brows as you finally took notice of Ethan’s red face. “Hey, you okay?” Ethan gave you a big smile, nodding slightly.

        “Yeah, just a little warm. Mind turning on that fan for me.” A light blush filled your cheeks as he gave you a genuine smile, stirring the feelings inside your heart. Once the fan was on, the video resumed without a hitch. Turning to the camera, tears practically streaming out of your eyes as you observed the detailed mustache you drew on Ethan, you began to do your outro. 

        “Thank you all so much for being here! I’ll see you in the video. Aaaaaaand….Signing off!” With a single salute, you were about to finish the recording, but Ethan was quick to throw his arm around your shoulder, pulling you into his side. You began laughing as he shook you around, tickling your sides, trying to add another drawing to your face that you just knew would get your flagged. You always loved recording with Ethan; not just because the feeling he gave you deep in the pit of your stomach, but because he could easily distract that feeling with the side splitting laughter that always left you clutching your sides.

        —

        You spent most of the rest of the day editing the video. It wasn’t originally supposed to go up until the following day, but you just couldn’t help it. Filming with Ethan always gave you the best content. You couldn’t help the smile that spread across your face as your picked pieces of the footage to put in the final edit, watching as you goofed around, playfully nudging and joking around. Yet, there was this one part that you couldn’t take your eyes off of. It was when Ethan has suddenly got very warm within your room, his face going red. On the screen, you were out of camera, only your body in the frame. Ethan’s eyes were completely forced forwards, glancing between the curve of your neck, and the dip in your shirt. You felt you cheeks heat up, doubt swirling in your mind. Yet, nothing could hide the truth from playing right in front of you.

        He’s still a young adult, you thought, he’s attracted to every woman in a low cut shirt.

        These thoughts, however, didn’t stop you from watching the clip over and over, analysing every detail of it. In fact, you were so engrossed in it, that you didn’t notice Kathryn sneaking up behind you. With a small jump, she placed both of her hands on your shoulders, nearly making you jump out of your skin.

        “Eep! Kathryn!” You quickly minimized your screen, spinning in your chair so fast you forgot about the huge headphones covering your ears, which caused them to rip right off your head. “You nearly gave me a heart attack!” Kathryn, however, didn’t notice, as she was practically hunched over with laughter. “Jerk.”

        “Come on, don’t be like that. I was just coming to ask if you wanted to watch a movie with Amy and I.” She didn’t have to ask you twice. You needed a break, something to take your mind off the blue haired boy that constantly invaded your thoughts. Nearly sprinting to the living room, Amy was already there, warm sweater wrapped around her, and a blanket draped over her legs. She had a cup of tea in her hands, which she daintily blew on before taking a sip. You swear, you’ve never seen such a soft, swan-like human before meeting Amy. However, her quiet and gentle moment was destroyed by yourself and Kathryn barreling into the room, jumping onto the nearest couches with bowls of popcorn and your own assorted beverages. 

        It wasn’t until half way before the movie before Kathryn spoke of the video she had spotted you studying.

        “So, you and Ethan made a video, huh. Looked pretty interesting.” She lightly snickered to herself, taking another sip of her drink. You blushed bright red, angrily glaring at her. Amy, of course, immediately caught the tone in her friends voice. 

        “Ooooh. What video would this be, hmm? Something for your fandom to latch onto?”

        “It’s nothing like that. Ethan was just watching me draw on his face.” You tried to be nonchalant, you really did. But around your best friends, you couldn’t hold together the lie. “Okay, I caught Ethan on video checking me out. But, before you say anything, I’m a hundred percent sure it’s because he had nowhere else to look. Really, its my fault. I didn’t even give the poor fella a chance.” Amy hit you with her skeptical look, while Kathryn scoffed next to you. “Look, it doesn’t even matter anyway. Even if he did, there’s no way he would ever return my feelings.” Amy and Kathryn were immediately at full attention, both turning their bodies so they could look at you directly. Amy opened her house, ready for questioning, but the voice that came out was not hers.

        “You like me?” All three of you whipped your head around, a very surprised blue boy standing at the archway, a single cup of ice water clinking in his hand. You immediately stood, blanket falling from your lap to a puddle around your feet. “You actually like me?”

        “Ethan! Oh my god. No, wait, you got it all wrong. When I said return my feelings, I meant like feelings of friendship and trust!” With each rushed word you stepped closer, trying so hard to fix your mistake and salvage your beloved friendship. However, Ethan just continued to stare, his eyes trailing your every move. 

        “So, you don’t like me?” Your mouth opened and closed, trying desperately, but you couldn’t make him unhear everything that you had said as he walked past your girls night to the kitchen. With a defeated sigh, you simply hung your head and nodded. There was three beats in the next second. One, a footstep. Two, a clink of glass on glass. Three, your gasp as Ethan forced your head up to place his lips upon yours. You had no hesitation before kissing back, wrapping your arms around him, pulling him closer, closer, closer. By his arms, his shoulders, his hair. He pulled as close to him as possible, kissing the breath right out of your lungs. The shock on your friends faces were completely ignored as you continued to kiss. Finally. Finally, he was yours. 

{RP Starters} Coldplay X&Y Album

❝ You’re in control. ❞  
❝ Is there anywhere you want to go?  ❞  
❝ Is there anything you want to know?  ❞
❝ The future’s made for discovering.  ❞  
❝ You just want somebody listening to what you say. ❞ 
❝ It doesn’t matter who you are. ❞ 
❝ What if there was no light? ❞ 
❝ What if there was no time? ❞ 
❝ What if you should decide that you don’t want me there by your side? ❞ 
❝ Let’s take a breath, jump over the side. ❞ 
❝ Every step that you take could be your biggest mistake. ❞ 
❝ I want to feel like that. ❞
❝ Maybe you’ll get what you wanted. ❞
❝ I cannot hear, you’re breaking up. ❞
❝ An answer now is what I need. ❞
❝ Oh come on, love, stay with me. ❞
❝ Could it be worse? ❞
❝ Lights will guide you home. ❞
❝ I will try to fix you. ❞  
❝ But if you never try, you’ll never know just what you’re worth. ❞
❝ I promise you, I will learn from my mistakes. ❞
❝ I can’t get through. ❞
❝ I’ve been trying hard to reach you, ‘cause I don’t know what to do. ❞
❝ I can’t believe it’s true. ❞ 
❝ I’m so scared about the future, and I wanna talk to you. ❞ 
❝ In the future, where will I be? ❞ 
❝ Are you lost or incomplete? ❞ 
❝ Tell me how you feel. ❞ 
❝ Nothing’s really making any sense at all. ❞ 
❝ Let’s talk. ❞ 
❝ I’m diving off the deep end. ❞ 
❝ You became my best friend. ❞ 
❝ I wanna love you, but I don’t know if I can. ❞ 
❝ I know something is broken, and I’m trying to fix it. ❞ 
❝ How long before I get in? ❞ 
❝ How long before you decide? ❞ 
❝ Where to, where do I go? ❞ 
❝ How long am I gonna stand with my head stuck under the sand? ❞ 
❝ I’ll start before I can stop. ❞ 
❝ If you could see it, then you’d understand. ❞ 
❝ Some things, you have to believe. ❞ 
❝ All those signs, I knew what they meant. ❞ 
❝ You don’t have to be alone. ❞
❝ Your heavy heart is made of stone. ❞    
❝ I’m not gonna take it back. ❞ 
❝ You’re the target that I’m aiming at. ❞ 
❝ Got to get that message home. ❞ 
❝ I’m nothing on my own. ❞ 
❝ I love you, please come home. ❞ 
❝ You see the world in black and white. ❞ 
❝ You think you’ll never get it right – but you’re wrong. You might. ❞ 
❝ You mean more to me than any color I see. ❞ 
❝ All you ever wanted was love, but you never look hard enough. ❞ 
❝ I feel low. ❞ 
❝ The hardest part was letting go. ❞
❝ I could feel it go down… ❞ 
❝ I wish that I could work it out. ❞ 
❝ You really broke my heart. ❞ 
❝ I tried to sing, but I couldn’t think of anything. ❞ 
❝ You left the sweetest taste in my mouth. ❞ 
❝ I wonder what it’s all about. ❞ 
❝ Everything I do is wrong. ❞ 
❝ Everything I do, it just comes undone. ❞ 
❝ Everything is torn apart. ❞ 
❝ That’s the hardest part. ❞ 
❝ I can only blame myself. ❞ 
❝ You can only blame me. ❞ 
❝ That’s where I belong. ❞ 
❝ You belong with me. ❞ 
❝ You cut me down to size and opened up my eyes. ❞ 
❝ What good is it to live with nothing left to give? ❞ 
❝ Don’t fight for the wrong side. ❞ 
❝ Say how you feel. ❞ 
❝ If somebody made it, someone will mess it up. ❞ 
❝ It belongs to all of us. ❞ 
❝ I feel my time – my time has come. ❞ 
❝ Let me in. Unlock the door. ❞ 
❝ I’ve never felt this way before. ❞ 
❝ I don’t know which way I’m going. ❞ 
❝ I don’t know which way I’ve come. ❞ 
❝ I need someone who understands. ❞ 
❝ For you, I’ve waited all these years. ❞ 
❝ For you, I’d wait ‘til Kingdom Come. ❞ 
❝ Just say you’ll wait for me. ❞ 
❝ I wouldn’t change a single thing. ❞ 

Coming Home (Chapter 17)

Welcome back! Just a quick note– I dont actually hate Fury. In fact I have no issue with him at all, but I wanted a chance for Tony to show off exactly how Alpha he is…and Fury opened his mouth and said the wrong thing lol. So PSA– I dont hate Fury, so anyone that absolutely loves him, dont read too much into this chapter, its just one scene in one of my many fics, doesnt mean anything lol

Alright, gear up for some Winteriron Feels, some (less explicit) smutty smutness and the above mentioned, Tony losing his shit on Fury. I tried a little different format with the NSFW, I hope it worked out. 

MASTERLIST HERE

Enjoy :)

*****************************

Tony paced in the hallway outside Bucky’s room at SHIELD headquarters for a full five minutes before he calmed himself down enough to knock on the door quietly. Steve had given him a key to Bucky’s room, but Tony wasn’t about to invade Bucky’s privacy by using the key, but he was still tempted to shove it up Fury’s ass if the Director so much as glanced in his general vicinity, so he kept it in his pocket anyway.

So Tony knocked, quickly and firmly but hopefully not too aggressively, and hoped Bucky would open the door.

“Tony.” Bucky opened the door and stopped in his tracks, black and silver wings lifting around his body to hide himself, metal edges clicking as he shifted anxiously. “What are you doing here?”

“What are you doing here?” Tony blurted, and then closed his eyes and held up a hand apologetically. “Sorry. Bucky, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have snapped at you. Um… can we talk?”

“You want to talk?” Bucky blinked at him and seemed to withdraw into the room a little more. “About what?”

“Why didn’t you come back with Steve?” Tony asked carefully, feeling awkward just standing in the hall talking, and unable to stop staring at Bucky, at his crystal blue eyes and the scruff that was getting a little too thick, at shoulder length dark hair and all those muscles wrapped in a tight grey t shirt, his left arm held slightly behind his body.

“I don’t want to be there.” Bucky said bluntly, relaxing his posture now that he knew Tony wasn’t going to yell at him. “You don’t want me there, so I didn’t see any reason to stay.”

“Why would you–?” Tony’s voice rose again and he backed up another step, dropping his wings and putting both hands out, palm up, to look an unthreatening, as un Alpha as possible. “Bucky, honey, why would you think I don’t want you there? Things have been rough, and admittedly I have been hiding away more than I should, but you belong at home. Not here working for Fury.”

A growl threaded his voice on the Beta’s name and Bucky’s eyes sparked curiously. “You don’t like Fury.” he stated.

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