this is just as unhealthy as being addicted to one direction

Krasivaya-Chapter 1

Summary: You and Bucky Barnes have been friends for years, you are deeply, completely in love with the super soldier, but he sees you as nothing more than a little sister, what happens when Bucky starts to date in earnest?

Pairings: Bucky x Reader, Bucky x OFC

Warnings: Smut, Angst, Self-Esteem issues, Depression?, Anxiety.


You wish he would see you, just once, but you were firmly in the friendzone. It was frustrating, and painful to know that you would never be more than just his friend. You were one of the guys. It didn’t matter how feminine you dressed, or how much makeup you wore, he would never see you.

“Mornin’, Krasivaya,” Bucky murmurs, slinging an arm around you as he escorts you to the kitchen for breakfast. “How’d ya sleep?” he inquires, the smile he graces you with melting your insides to a puddle of goo.

“Good, B. You?” you reply.

He smiles wickedly. “Didn’t get much sleep to be honest.”

You glance at him worriedly. “Nightmares? Why didnt F.R.I.D.A.Y wake me?”

He laughs in earnest. “Nah, baby girl, you’ll see.”

Furrowing your brows, confused at his upbeat demeanour, you enter the kitchen. The entire Avengers team is deep in the throws of breakfast. It’s loud and obnoxious, incoherent yelling and bickering morphing into a jovial atmosphere that has you smiling. You spot a flicker of blonde next to Steve, and Bucky disengages from you, beelining straight to the unfamiliar face.

Confused, you follow only to freeze in place when Bucky wraps his arms around the blonde, nuzzling into her neck, murmuring sweet nothings that leaves an acidic taste in your mouth.

What fresh hell?

“Melissa, this is (Y/N). She’s like my sister. (Y/N), this is my best girl Melissa.” He smiles at you, big and wide, and so happy.

Pain blooms in your chest and you suddenly can’t breathe. Hands curling into fists at your sides, you chance a glance at Steve. His smile is jovial, but his eyes show the truth. He’s well aware how much this is hurting you, but he plays his part as Bucky’s best friend.. Eyes flickering to Nat, she dips her head in silent support. She’s always thought Bucky an idiot for not seeing what was right in front of him.

Bracing yourself, you plaster on a fake smile. “Melissa, it’s wonderful to meet you,” you greet, some how managing to make it actually sound like the truth, even as you bleed from the hole in your heart.

She eyes you warily, before plastering an equally fake. “(Y/N), I’ve heard so much about you! I finally get to put a face to the name.”

She beams while you try and swallow the bile rising in your throat. You falter, your mind coming up blank. You can’t form words, can’t think past Bucky looking so hopelessly in love with this golden goddess.

Steve, thankfully comes to your rescue.

“You ready for training, doll?”

Bucky frowns. “She hasn’t even eaten yet, punk. Can’t you give her a five minutes?”

Your heart breaks a little more at the concern he directs toward you.

“Nah, Bucky. It’s fine. I’m not all that hungry, and Stevie and I have plans. Don’t need to throw up on him when he lands a punch to the middle.” You pat your belly. Training with Steve it wasn’t a matter of if he caught you, but when making the excuse for your lack of appetite one that had heads nodding all around the table. All except the most important one.

Bucky’s frown deepens. “We were supposed to hang out…” he trails off, the confused puppy eyes making you bite your lip to keep from caving. Then she speaks, making you hate her more.

“Leave them alone, babe.” Melissa eyes him coldly. Bucky relents, confused by the direction his impromptu introduction to his girlfriend has taken.

“I wanna join, Sestra,” Nat remarks. “With a little more practice, we can keep you from getting hit in the belly.”

You nod, sending her a grateful smile for playing along, and gather what remains of your wits. Steve rises from his chair, grabbing you by the waist, and tucks you beneath his shoulder, trying his best to lend comfort.

“We’ll meet ya in the gym, Nat. (Y/N) an I have things to discuss first,” Steve says, pressing a kiss to the top of your head.

Bucky’s expression momentarily flickers at the sudden affection Steve is showering you with. His eyes harden with warning, a soft growl leaving his chest that he tries to cover with a cough.

Ignoring him completely, you let yourself be steered toward your bedroom, numb to the going ons around you. This couldn’t be happening. You knew you weren’t Bucky’s type. You were by no means as beautiful as Melissa. You didn’t have long legs and boobs for days.

You were plain. A little quirky. You had an unhealthy addiction to cupcakes, meaning your hips had a little extra on them. You were soft in a few places where, sure you kind of wished you weren’t, but it had never really bothered you before.

But seeing Melissa on Bucky’s arm, they fit. Two beautiful people. They belonged together. Still, couldn’t someone have warned you? Instead you’d been blindsided, hurting you that much more.

A soft sob escapes your throat, and Steve picks up his pace, throwing open the door to your bedroom and ushering you inside. He slams the door shut and pulls you into his chest, stroking your hair as you breakdown. The anguish of being overlooked, again, comes out in waves. You’re shaking, clutching at Steve’s shirt, while he makes shushing noises.

“Why am I never good enough, Stevie? Why can’t he see me?” you ask, your tears wetting his too tight t-shirt.

Steve doesn’t answer, he doesn’t know what to say. How to explain that you were the best kind of person, and there was no one better. He settles instead on trying his best to calm you down. Every bitter sob that escapes you drives a nail deeper into his heart. Tracing soothing circles onto your arms as you slowly come down from your hysteria, he asks, “Wanna skip training? Have a movie day with Nat and I?”

You hiccup, and shake your head yes.

He smiles brightly, grabbing his phone from his pocket, sending a quick text to Natasha. He leads you toward the bed, burritoing you gently into the blanket. Hooking up the laptop to the T.V, something you taught him because, let’s face it, Steve was electronically impuissant. He flicks to True Blood, your favorite show, and settles himself next to you. Picking up your cosily burritoed form and depositing you on his chest, his comforting presence briefly chases away the ache in your heart.

A tentative knock on the door and a “Sestra” reveals Nat, laden with all sorts of junk food. Wicked smile on her face, she bounds over to you, and Steve, throwing a packet of Oreos at you. “Let the pig out begin!” she yells dramatically, making you giggle. Grabbing  your hand, she squeezes briefly, Steve strokes your hair.

For the briefest moment you almost believe that everything will be okay.

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@erinvanlyssel @melconnor2007 @imgettingmarriedtobuckybarnes @marvelrevival @fangirlextraordinaire @buckysinthesinbin @buckyappreciationsociety @hopelessgarbage @kt-the-destroyer @marvelandwinchesters927 @rda1989 @mirachowder @heavenlyhavok @iamwarrenspeace @i-had-a-life-once @griseldaevn @hillrich @barneschesters-whore @redroomproperty @theassetseyeliner @megandrawsspace @alwayshave-faith @gingerbatchwife @curlyxtomato @tilltheendwilliwrite @xxqueenofisolationxx @kika-doll

so media, and indeed society in general, has this horrible habit of glorifying and romanticizing codependent relationships. i really want people to be educated about them and why they’re unhealthy, so i’d appreciate if everyone could help me spread this around! feel free to add anything in the comments you think i’ve overlooked.

what is a codependent relationship?

a codependent relationship is one where the parties involved are unhealthily dependent on one another. it does not have to be a romantic relationship, but can be platonic, familial, etc. it will usually posses one or more of the following traits:

  • one or both people feeling incapable of handling the world without the other
  • one or both people feeling as if you are incomplete are unwhole without the other
  • one or both allowing one to have an inordinate amount of control in the other’s life; living in a way to please them; significantly altering one’s self or behavior to meet the other’s standards
  • one or both prioritizing the other’s needs and wants above one’s own
  • one or both having an unwillingness to go about life without the other

why is this bad?

besides the blatantly obvious reasons, here are some of the negative impacts/possible if not likely outcomes of a codependent relationship:

  • inability to cope or go about daily life without the support of the other
  • increased anxiety/depression/hyperactivity/indecisiveness without the other
  • increased jealousy/over-protectiveness
  • falling apart of outside relationships due to prioritization of one (loss of friends basically)
  • emotional and/or physical isolation from everyone besides the other
  • loss of individuality and control over one’s life
  • suffering of one’s individual education/career
  • refusal of separation when the relationship turns abusive
  • loss of free time
  • unhealthy obsession with the other
  • increased responsibility of carrying the entire emotional burden of another person

some of the effects of a breakup from a codependent relationship:

  • bouts of depression/anxiety
  • isolation
  • suicide/self-harm/addiction/binge eating/other self-destructive tendencies
  • worsening of effects of pre-existing mental illness
  • inability to reconnect with other people
  • loss of direction in life
  • a WHOLE wealth of other problems that would not fit in this list honestly

a common misconception is that intensely attached relationships like these are beneficial for people with mental illnesses because of the extra support given, when in fact it will often exacerbate the symptoms over time as the individual loses the ability to cope on their own and prioritize the other person above their own well-being.

there are varying degrees of severity of codependency, but that does not mean that ones that are lesser are not still unhealthy.

steps you can take to prevent codependency in a relationship if you are concerned:

  • discuss boundaries. lay out with your partner a basis (or schedule if need be) on which to spend time with one another that does not cause your other relationships, career/education, and personal time to suffer severely.
  • make room for personal time with friends, without the other person. maintain your outside relationships. if you ignore them for the sake of your partner, you’ll slowly lose them, and won’t have anyone else by the time the relationship has run its course. this will also ensure that you can maintain individual relationships with others on your own without the influence of your partner. (also, anyone would be able to tell you that trying to spend time with two people that are attached at the hip is very uncomfortable, and oftentimes devaluating)
  • find other emotional outlets and support than just the one person. find friends who can help  you with your problems too, so the entire weight of them is not put on your partner and you have somewhere to go for help and support if you lose them.
  • take a time-out. spend a couple of weeks to a month apart, not spending extensive time together. while this may seem daunting, it will help you reassert authority over your own life and readjust to not being dependent on them. this also gives you and your partner time to take a breather and reflect if things are getting intense.
  • break it off altogether. this can be a terrifying, if not unthinkable, prospect. but if you cannot be together and maintain your own lives and personal agency despite your best efforts, then you need to call it quits, no ifs ands or buts. 

you, your sense of self, and your ability to go about life without leaning completely on another person is more important than any relationship could ever be. it is not romantic or even CLOSE to ideal to unable to be away or without another person, no matter what any show, book, or movie says. this does not mean you are alone or that other people don’t matter, but that what matters most is you. feel free to love a person with all you have, but don’t let that be ALL you have.

now go out and form some healthy relationships, okay?

Just a Hookup - William Nylander

Originally posted by mapleleafstrash

Note: whatta creative title for my actual dad that i love so much. no but seriously, i kind of like this one and kind of don’t but i hope you guys enjoy!!

Smut: Yes | No

Warnings: smut yall

Request: Can you do a William nylander smut?? Love your writing btw💜 

Keep reading

St. Vincent Is Telling You Everything

“I told you more than I would tell my own mother.”




September 10, 2017, 10:34 a.m.
By Laura Snapes | BuzzFeed Contributor
Reporting From New York, New York

Annie Clark was reconfiguring some older material for her upcoming tour when she realized how alien it felt to play it. She could adapt the arrangements to her harsher new sound — the sleazy, acid aesthetic of Masseduction, her upcoming fifth solo record as St. Vincent — but the writing’s proggy complexity was cockblocking the emotion. “In so many ways, I thought I was being completely transparent and brave in every record, only to realize that they are very oblique,” Clark told BuzzFeed News. She cackled and looked delighted. “Who knew! I had no idea.”

Clark is much too self-aware for this to be completely true. But the difference between her polite, guarded Texan past and confrontational present is colossal. When I first interviewed Clark in 2009, she nervously pressed her pendant against her lips and face, leaving a red lipstick pox on her insane cheekbones. By 2014’s St. Vincent, Clark’s public persona would be imperious.

But these days, she’s a playful freak who revels in showing the tightness of her grip, a disposition aided by long, straight eyebrows that dance like Memphis squiggles. In late July, she appeared in the lobby of New York City’s Marlton Hotel, her temporary home during the making of Masseduction. She had come from pilates — which she likes because it makes her sing better and “come a lot harder” — and disappeared to change out of her leopard-print gym shorts. When I mentioned a recent paparazzi photo of her looking like a sexy detective in another skintight leopard-patterned getup, she asked twice, with predatory delight, whether I’d looked at her camel toe. (No! Okay, maybe!) The only time her control slipped was when the hotel’s stereo started playing “Who,” a knotty song from the album she made with David Byrne, and she shriveled like a salted snail at hearing her own voice.

Self-possession like hers is often interpreted as pretentious, or pathological. But over time, the confidence that the younger, anxious Clark had to fake has become bracingly real. You can hear it in Masseduction, a record of pop fluidity and queer possibility. It’s the best thing she’s ever done, and there are no bad St. Vincent records. It’s partly harsh, heady, erotic synth-pop visions steered by her diamond-sharp guitar, and while Clark has written plenty of ballads, there have never been any as brutal and gorgeous as these. Its lurch between apocalypse and ecstasy mirrors how it felt to be kicked in the head by the past couple years.

In a way, Clark was right about the obscurity of her past work, filled with archetypes and distanced observations — emotions through a stained-glass window. If not a clear pane, then Masseduction is at least a peep show on heartache, fucking, addiction, destitution, and suicide. And her relatively new life as a very public figure, thanks to relationships with Cara Delevingne and Kristen Stewart, gives it an extra frisson. Tabloids will rush to find the former, the famed British supermodel, on an album littered with wasted bodies, especially on “Young Lover,” where Clark finds someone overdosed in the bathtub. She recounts the night with terror but also arrestingly ugly indignation. “Oh, so what / Your mother did a number / So I get gloves of rubber / To clean up the spill,” she sneers.

“Scenario has to rhyme, babe,” is all Clark said about its veracity. She was bemused at being asked to explain the lyrics. To her, this record is butt-naked. “I told you everything,” she stressed. “I told you more than I would tell my own mother. It’s right there.”


Annie Clark
Nedda Afsari


Masseduction started out with three tenets: It would feature programmed beats and pedal steel guitar, and examine power and seduction. “What does power look like, who wields it, how do they wield it — emotionally, sexually, financially?” Clark ticked off her fingers.

The album was properly born over a creative first-date dinner with Jack Antonoff, the Bleachers frontman who also recently produced and wrote with Lorde and Taylor Swift. Clark was looking for a teammate; they told each other everything that was going wrong in their lives and decided that total oblivion was the only way out of their heads. “It wasn’t, ‘Hey, let’s make a record together, that’ll be fun,’” Antonoff told me. “It was, ‘Let’s absolutely go all the way and find the absolute best thing that exists here,’ which is really the only way to work on things.”

That grit is Clark’s MO. Until recently, she claimed to have taken approximately 36 hours off in between returning from touring 2011’s Strange Mercy and starting work on 2014’s St. Vincent. The concerts for the latter were bonkers, starting the run as avant-garde, meticulously choreographed deconstructions of a traditional rock show, and ending it with exorcisms that entailed Clark crumpling down a 10-foot pink plywood pyramid like a drunken horse. She often stole objects from the crowd: a pair of crutches, someone’s dinner. The spectacle of her murdering the thing she’d trained for was addictive.


St. Vincent during the 2015 Coachella Valley Music & Arts Festival.
Frazer Harrison / Getty Images


“Touring became a blood sport for me. I mean, I was born with a whip anyway, and touring became this self-flagellating exercise,” she said, clenching her jaw and lashing each shoulder with an imaginary strap. “And I was seeking that kind of physical exhaustion; I was seeking the pain.”

She doesn’t know why, and she’s okay not knowing why, though eventually she did accept that her relationship to touring was a form of delirium. On the new album’s “Sugarboy,” a dystopian, post-Moroder disco banger, she describes herself as a “casualty hanging on from the balcony.” (She literally climbed rafters in some theaters, kicking away security guards.) This hysteria is one of the reasons she considers Masseduction her saddest record. “I lost my mind, I lost people, I gained people, I stopped touring,” Clark said of that period between 2014 and 2017. “It was just a lot of a lot, you know.”

After the St. Vincent tour dates ended, Clark had to learn to construct and value life away from the road — she had been on tour since age 16, when she worked as an assistant for her aunt and uncle’s jazz group. “And I still love that,” she said of touring, “but it’s more like a component of my life now rather than…my life.” Back home she indulged in a “period of bacchanalia,” and briefly got into self-medicating, an experience she turned into the lunatic track “Pills”: Imagine the Stepford Wives lost in Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory (Kamasi Washington guests on saxophone; Delevingne sings on the chorus).

She’s transfixed by the forces that can swallow us — “You know, drugs, sex, and rock ‘n’ roll,” she winked. “So corny. Kill me! Kill me dead!” Though sometimes she uses those themes to dress up more mundane relationship dynamics. “Savior” explores the unhealthiness of mutual projection through a funny S&M parable involving nurses and nuns and our tediously prosaic concepts of kink: “You put me in a teacher’s little denim skirt,” Clark moans on the song. “Ruler and desk so I can make it hurt / But I keep you on your best behavior / Honey, I can’t be your savior.” The album’s self-destructive dynamic comes out on the title track — “I can’t turn off what turns me on,” she wails over twisted guitar — and her protagonists never stop annihilating each other for their own benefit, whether for carnal kicks, or for the mothers who “milk their young” in the song “Los Ageless.”


The album cover for Masseduction.
Loma Vista Recordings


And then there’s the heartbreaking “Happy Birthday Johnny,” which sounds like a snowflake but crushes like an anvil. It calls back to the title track of her 2007 debut Marry Me, about “John” who’s “a rock with a heart like a socket I can plug into at will”; and to “Prince Johnny,” the decadent downtown royal from St. Vincent. She said she feels compassion and hopelessness for his self-destruction, but can’t judge because she’s just like him. Maybe he’s also a cipher for the way humans use each other — Clark flatly refused to talk about him. “One thing I have learned in six records and 10 years is that I’m not obliged to answer any questions — a lesson I more or less only recently learned.” She stared into the bar, fixing a grim expression through her orange aviators. “Next question.”

At any rate, the song is a whole story. Once conspirators, her and Johnny’s literal fire-starting days are behind them, and now he lives on the street, calling up Clark at New Year’s for “dough to get something to eat.” She demurs, and he calls her a queenly miser who’s sold out for fame. “But if they only knew the real version of me / Only you know the secrets, the swamp, and the fear,” she pleads. It is deeply tragic, being shamed — perhaps rightly — by the person who once understood your shame.

Antonoff theorized that she’s mourning a past on the record. On the forthcoming Fear the Future Tour (named after a new song, and to resemble a Jenny Holzer maxim), Clark said she probably won’t be flinging herself around stages as much because “I think I’m emotionally throwing myself around a lot more.”


A still from St. Vincent’s “New York” music video.
Alex Da Carte


In late July, Tiffany & Co. announced Clark as one of the faces of its fall advertising campaign. Diamonds and waspy Americana are a weirdly prim contrast to the freaky propaganda aesthetic that Clark is calling “manic panic” — the Masseduction album cover is a photo of a nice ass in a leopard-print thong bodysuit. But like any savvy propagandist, Clark’s image will be everywhere this year. Having directed a short film, The Birthday Party, as part of the horror anthology XX, she’s now due to direct a feature-length, female-led adaptation of The Picture of Dorian Gray. (“The most rich text I have ever read: transgression, modernity, society, repressed queerness.”) There’s also a multimedia performance as part of October’s Red Bull Music Academy in Los Angeles, and an upcoming art exhibition in New York. A coffee table book. Essays. (She calls art “a fountain of youth” that’s given her everything and everyone in her life, hence her urge to make everything.) And that’s just the exposure she has control over.

Celebrities like to pretend that their success is the result of some cosmic fluke, but Clark has said quite openly that the best part of becoming more famous thanks to her love life is “just getting the opportunity to do more work in different fields,” which nobody ever admits! (Though her 2015 Grammy for Best Alternative Album and overwhelming critical acclaim probably helped, too.)

St. Vincent, Zoe Kravitz, and Zosia Mamet at the Tiffany & Co.-presented Whitney Biennial VIP Opening in March 2017 in New York.
Mike Coppola / Getty Images


One of Clark’s best-known songs, 2014’s “Digital Witness,” is about social media voyeurism. “I wonder if, in the future, privacy will be something that only the 1 percent can afford,” she told Rolling Stone that year, which now seems beautifully naive. From the second she and Delevingne were spotted together at the 2015 BRIT Awards, the UK’s pervy yet ever-scandalized tabloid media went nuts that their hottest young model was dating a woman, and pursued them so staunchly that the couple once took revenge by firing water pistols at the paparazzi.

“She really is so famous!” Clark said of Delevingne, feigning hammy disbelief at the attention they received. “That shouldn’t have been shocking to me, but it was shocking to me in the sense that she’s such a sweet, really, deeply kind, unspoiled person. She has more compassion in her little finger than—” She waved her hand around her torso with a grim laugh. (The pair reportedly split last fall, but Clark would only say they were “never not close.”)

Clark’s self-assurance helped her to perceive the tabloid aggression and celebrity weirdness as baffling rather than distorting. She was too classy to run with my suggestion that attending that Taylor Swift 4th of July party must’ve been an interesting anthropological study. “That was, I think, in the midst of a game of Celebrity,” she said of a photo of her wearing the same stars ’n’ stripes onesie as Gigi Hadid, Karlie Kloss, and Ruby Rose. She took a long pause. “I was very bad at it!”


From left: Cara Delevingne and Annie Clark
Schiller Graphics


But she was disturbed by dangerous high-speed car chases from paparazzi in pursuit of photos of the couple; she thinks the gossip industrial complex relates to a wider societal disparity. “The biggest problem was that the value system of it is all based on aspiration,” she said with genuine concern. “It’s wealth aspiration, fame aspiration. But if the government, if the world was just generally a more compassionate, empathetic place, people wouldn’t be aspiring to…that. They would be more fulfilled with their own lives if the wealth gap in general wasn’t so insane.” Admittedly, it was hard not to want to look at them, in matching sharp suits and laser-cut Burberry, queering the archetype of the male rock star dating the young supermodel, watching the context around an established artist mutate in front of you.

There is the kind of halfway-benign personal invasion where paparazzi follow you and your girlfriend around an airport. But then there is the kind where the never-not-creepy Daily Mail doorsteps your older sister at home in Texas and calls up your well-meaning uncle to sandbag him into revealing that your father went to prison in 2010 for participating in multimillion-dollar stock fraud. Although it is grotesque to treat the paper’s muckraking as a puzzle piece, it did illuminate part of the story behind Strange Mercy, which Clark had — understandably — only ever vaguely attributed to an overwhelming period of loss. “Suitcase of cash in the back of my stick shift,” she sang on “Year of the Tiger.” “I had to be the best of the bourgeoisie / Now my kingdom for a cup of coffee.” (She cowrote the song with her mother, Sharon, who split from Clark’s father when she was three.)

“Everybody has their personal tragedies and their crosses to bear,” Clark said in a clipped tone. She calls her father’s 12-year prison sentence “a horrible tragedy. On so many different levels. So absolutely heartbreaking.” She — an adult — could handle it. But her younger half- and stepsiblings on her father’s side are still teenagers. “And I specifically would never talk about that or have ever mentioned that in a myriad of questions about Strange Mercy because it seems like an incredible betrayal of my family. But most specifically, my youngest siblings who are innocent children. They were kiddos.”

She described the Daily Mail story as “faux concern,” and reiterated that the paper couldn’t find any dirt on her, no matter how outrageously they tried. “I’m not ashamed of my family,” she said. Then I asked her whether her father going to prison had spun her own moral compass, or made her reconsider any values of right and wrong that he may have instilled in her. She was momentarily confused, and then let rip a massive, absurd, demonstrative laugh. She kept going. “I love my father,” she said eventually, still tickled. “I love my father very much, as any child loves their parent. He’s very intelligent and erudite and a good writer and incredibly well read, and those are all things that I value and I’m glad that he instilled in me.” She paused, and kept on laughing.

In the run-up to announcing Masseduction, Clark was Instagramming absurdist junket-styled videos, in which she wears a hot pink skirt and a transparent rubber top the color of ash, and takes questions from an off-screen interviewer. Her answers were scripted by the musician and comedian Carrie Brownstein, who is also her ex-girlfriend. One video poses the question of whether Annie Clark and St. Vincent are the same person. She pauses to consider. “Honestly, you’d have to ask her.” What’s it like being a woman in music? “Good question,” she muses, as the camera zooms to her black and yellow fingernails, which spell out “FUCK OFFF.”

These films might factor into her upcoming tour, but the answers were also written for journalists. Earlier in July, in London, Clark found alternative ways to conduct interviews for hours at a time. She invited some female journalists to get massages with her (too weird with men, even though she was face-down on the table the whole time, avoiding eye contact). Other writers were invited into a 10-by-10-foot pink wooden box that was constructed in a North London studio especially for the occasion. Her interrogators had to duck through a low door to enter the blacklit space. “Not full-on crawl, because that’s a little heavy-handed,” she clarified. Inside, she looped a pedal steel recording and lit a Diptyque candle that struggled to mask the paint fumes.



St. Vincent / Via Instagram

If anyone asked her an obvious question — like where the name St. Vincent came from — she planned to play prerecorded answers and “check my email, or stretch, or zone out for a second,” she said, sounding almost disappointed that she didn’t get a chance to enact her schemes. She insisted she wasn’t being antagonistic. But sitting opposite Annie Clark for two hours is often intimidating enough without the added fear that she’s about to make fun of you to your face: It is a gigantic power play! “Oh, deeply so,” she said, affecting a wryly elegant tone. “But then also not at all because I was the insane person stuck in a box for eight hours!”

If critics and fans are bored of this sort of thing — see Arcade Fire’s recent album campaign — they are clearly not as tired as the artists who have to smile politely at writers who don’t know how to use Google. Plus, Arcade Fire’s hijinks felt cynical; Clark’s feels like a rejection of the idea that women artists are meant to be relatable, having endured a career’s worth of inane juxtapositions between her pretty face and gnarly shredding like it means anything.

The point, she said, was that putting ourselves in a totally different, slightly strange context can produce interesting results. (She and I were meant to do Pilates together — before an oversold class spared me the indignity.) Why not make everything thoughtful and curated? If the stakes are already high, why not aim even higher and put yourself in extreme circumstances to see what happens? If Clark has done two things for the cerebral indie-rock world that she’s long outstripped, it’s teach about sex (thank god), and expose its low-risk complacency for a con.


Nedda Afsari

Of course, in some people’s eyes, this makes her a phony, a manipulator. Earlier this year, legendary cultural critic Greil Marcus wrote an admirably dim-witted column for Pitchfork where he compared Clark to the slippery Father John Misty, aka Josh Tillman, claiming that they “perform as artists of such pretentiousness you couldn’t possibly figure out how to talk to them. … There’s no way to address a saint: To be a saint you have to be dead … Such characters allow themselves to appear as if touched by God, which is what they’re selling, and laugh at you if you’re so square not to know who they really are: to join their club.”

If Marcus had read any of the million interviews that Clark is parodying in her high-concept clips, he would know the name is rooted in humiliation and squalor — the hospital where Dylan Thomas died — rather than divine aspiration. “And I have never, nor would I ever, put the kind of trapdoors and booby traps in my music to make the listener feel dumb,” Clark told me in response to Marcus’s theories. “I have enough hubris not to kill myself, but I actually have such a deep respect for the listener that I have never tried to pander. Songs and arrangements were complex and convoluted at times, but they were sincere attempts at connecting.”

She hoped there will be no mistaking her intent with her new record, which “is so first-person and sad.” But if anyone does, she knows it’s not her job to correct them.


A still from the “New York” music video.
Alex Da Carte


A still from the “New York” music video. If you want to use Masseduction as a treasure map, then this is what it tells us about Annie Clark’s personal life. She experienced a complicated kind of heartbreak. Sometimes that makes her crazy and neurotic: “I won’t cry wolf in the kitchen,” she swears on woozy opener “Hang on Me,” but threatens to jump off her roof “just to punish you” on the vengeful, cracked opera of “Smoking Section,” the last song. Sometimes a mental safety net stretches out when she might otherwise get hurt. “Slip my hand from your hand / Leave you dancing with a ghost,” she sings on “Slow Disco,” the most tender song she’s ever written. “Don’t it beat a slow dance to death?” a forlorn and disembodied voice repeats as it fades out.

Her world is changing, and that’s unsettling. “Too few of our old crew left on Astor,” she sings on “New York,” a song about lost heroes. On “Fear the Future,” she belts the title as the song reaches a pyrotechnic cataclysm that sounds like a truckload of fireworks being dumped inside a volcano.

But if you respond in kind to Clark’s vulnerability, then these are the more meaningful revelations that we can take from Masseduction into our lives: Relatability is a crock, and sincerity doesn’t take a single form. “I refuse to seem less threatening, if that’s how I’m perceived,” said Clark. “Ultimate freedom is not caring whether you are liked, because you are making something you really love and believe in.” On Masseduction Clark tells us that all the good forms of desire — love, sex, art — are self-destructive. But at their best, they create just that little bit more than they consume, and can eventually alchemize anxiety into total power.

Danced Saved Me {Chapter 2}~BTS Fanfic

{Summary} {Part1} {Part2} {Part3} {Part4} {Part5} {Part6} {Part8} {Part9} {Part10}

Warning: Fluff, smut, angst, sassy commentary, awkward conversation and fighting.

Triggering Topics: Eating Disorders, Substance abuse, metions of emotion and physical abuse, suicidal actions and tendencies, depression, panic and anxiety attacks, closterphobia, and death.

Paring: Reader x BTS, Reader x {unknown memeber, you have to wait and see}


Originally posted by jiminisathot

When they tell you not to give into peer-pressure during school, they’re trying to save your life. Trying to prevent you going through hell and back, and doing it all over again and again. Oh how I wish I would’ve listened. Maybe, just maybe my parents would be alive. Maybe I wouldn’t have been pushed away from family and friends. Maybe I would have actual healthy, real, and understanding people in my life. Maybe I’d feel alive.

I was eight when we moved to Korea, I don’t remember much but I remember how excited my mom was, her laughter from the first day in our new home echoing in my ears. The feeling of her hands gripping my arms as we twirled in the park she took me to the feeling of them still tightly wrapped around me. It was a perfect life.

The problems in my life all started when I was 14, I wanted to rebel, I wanted to feel like I was someone special. I hated the idea of the rules my parents set for me, wanting a girl like me fit into a country like this, with strict rules and hard expectations that I hated. So at 14, I started dating a guy who was 16, he’s name is something I’ve pushed in the far dark corners of my mind. His touch, his voice will always haunt me, the way his fingertips felt as he helped stick the needle into my skin for the first time at 15 still tickling to this day. His sent, mixes of weed and alcohol still courses through my mind.

My mind lost itself every time I took a hit, or broke my skin soon wasn’t enough from what he did to me. Sore throat and bruises treated with a needle and a white line of powder. Comment of my weight and appearance made food my worse enemy and diet pills and water my favorite meal.

I soon became this mess of a girl I once was.

When I was 16, I called my mother after a night full of drinking and smoking. My body and mind gone as I dialed her number. The way she spoke at first, so angry from me bit being home for weeks. But as a sob left me as I start saying sorry shut her up. The words I said next and the following events that happened afterwards killed a pieces of me. I left him after that, tried to find the missing pieces of myself, while still struggling to the need to take a hit of something while losing weight. It wasn’t healthy, hell I’m still not healthy.

The most recent time I joined rehab, was the very first time I’ve felt like I was going to make it. I brought myself there when I was 19. The doctor, Miss.Kim wanted to help me, she wanted to make it to the point where I couldn’t, and wouldn’t relapse without it being noticed. So he admitted me to her rehab house, six people at time there, recovering for eating disorder and addictions. The first week was a nightmare, tremors, and consent pain rushing through me.

That’s where I met Lillian, her soft smile and calming voice bringing me to life in away. Her promise to help me through the pain, and struggles of recover helped me. Because for the first time in three years I had someone helping me fight. When I entered the halfway house, I was able to start doing things I wasn’t aloud to do before. Guess what, I got fucking stuck. What do I do with my life? I was angry, and I wanted to do thing I hadn’t done in almost a year and yet here I was sitting on my ass watching a movie with a pen in hand. Just so I could click it.

“Good god Y/n stop doing that!” Screamed Ava, one of the youngest here. Her black hair in her face as she leans over her books for school.

“Nah.” I sarcastically say making her throw a highlighter at the back of my head. “Yah! Respect your elders!” I snap making her roll her eyes.

“Whatever Unnie.” She grumbles as I look dead at her, my eyebrow raised as she bows her head. “Sorry.” I nod my head in approval as I look back at the T.V.

“Hello my babies!” I hear Lillian soft soothing voice echoing through the apartment. My eyes look to see her light washed skin, dark blonde hair and blue eyes already looking at me. “What are you doing here Y/n?”

“Annoying the kid.” I say with a small smile making her shake her head. “What about you?”

“Getting you off your bony ass.” She says making me squint my eyes at her as she throws a bag at me. “Change, come on.” I groan at her, as I walk to my bedroom, changing I see it was a pair of leggings, a sports bra and a jacket. Walking out bag over my shoulder I follow her out.

“Where are we going.”

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Erase Me

Summary: What hurt him the most, was that he wanted you to breathe. Yet, he couldn’t seem to let you go.

Type: Angst

Member: Baekhyun x Reader (featuring J-Hope of BTS)

Warning: Mild Language

Length: 2,916 words


Okay so sorry for what’s coming. Recently I’ve been in an angsty mood and I couldn’t really work on the Baekhyun fluff in my documents. So I decided to try another version of him. I hope you understand… I’m really nervous about this one too, because it’s my bias and I want it to be up to par. And it wasn’t requested by anyone, I just felt inspired to write it. Enough rambling now, you can now progress (if you haven’t already). Inspired by the song I’m addicted to at the moment, Error- VIXX.

-Admin Gray

Originally posted by katherine80595

Suffocation.

That was what he had felt throughout the entirety of your guys’ relationship.

He couldn’t remember when he had become so miserable in the duration of the time he would make for you. He couldn’t recall when your smiles had stopped being the greatest treasure he had ever looked upon. It seemed that somewhere along the line, you had stopped being the person who made his heart beat fast.

Baekhyun was a man who didn’t like holding on if he wasn’t happy anymore. But you had been a different story to him. You were someone who remained with him in his weakest moments, when he was beyond terrified that you would leave him when he revealed his vulnerable side. You comforted him when he felt the dark and scarring claws of depression trying to snake around him. You kissed away his tears whenever he felt he wasn’t good enough. You made him Byun Baekhyun, the strong, witty, and bold guy everyone seemed to love. So why would he just give up on you when his love had started to fade?

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Negative Expressions of the Zodiac Pt. 1

Low vibrational expressions of the signs tend to reject the very radiance of their true qualities, much like the clouds covering up the light of the sun.

By rejecting their qualities, there maintains a similar association with these qualities, as instead of embracing their instincts all energy is still spent on acknowledging and rejecting their instinct.

While these expressions can appear anywhere in the chart, the most visible expression is through the Sun, Mercury, and Moon sign. Below are some of the telling signs of someone working on a lower vibration, Aries-Virgo.

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Outcasts - m.

member: Jeon Jungkook

genre: Angst, Smut,  Runaway!au

warnings: Nsfw, Mature Content, Depression, Alcohol and Drugs use

  words: 2.7k

“We’re like two halves of one heart.”

Originally posted by jjks


You didn’t hesitate to climb out of your bedroom window, it was one of those tiresome nights. Where you wanted to curl up in a hole and shut the world out completely. You grabbed what you needed, some cash and a pack of cigarette along with a lighter. 


You have problems with your parents, it was like being locked up in jail inside that house. A house was supposed to feel like a home, home is where your heart is. Your heart wasn’t there. They forced you into making decisions you didn’t wanted, setting up strict rules to follow and they were never happy for what you’ve done. 

Keep reading

BTS Tarot Reading: VHope (Romance/Relationship)

Disclaimer: I’m not a professional reader okay I’m a beginner. I’m only doing this for fun and entertainment. I am in no way trying to make correct predictions on the future. If it does comes to pass then wow….I’m shook. Other then that all this stuff I’m about to say and do is all fun and games. Do not take me seriously. I repeat do not take this seriously.


Okay so I got a new Romance deck that I wanted to try out. So I tried it out for this reading. It was fun and gave me more insight so I didn’t have to pull so many cards. So I used two decks my usually Tarot card deck and the first row was my Romance deck. So again I asked for insight to these two Romance.

The first two cards:

Distant Past Tense/Romance Meaning

Two of Cups: Two people coming together giving birth to a bond. There is an emotional attachment. Two of you will share some romantic time with each other and this will make a positive difference on how you see each other.

Codependency: Addictions are the culprit behind the issues you’re trying to resolve. This could be a craving for a unhealthy behavior. This card could also be an indicator of childhood experiences being in a additive family. Since love is the basis of this relationship addictions can become a barrier to moving forward true emotional intimacy. This is true if you are twisting yourself in knots to please this person whose dependency has lessened his happiness. This no win situation will negatively effect your self esteem and happiness if you continue.

Conclusion: I feel like there is some underlying codependency to their relationship. Maybe someone is relying on someone much more than the other early in the relationship. I get the feeling it could be J Hope. I feel like V could be clingy but he is still pretty independent in his own way. I just feel this goes back to when they both really relied on each other in the beginning of BTS. It could also indicate that something about this relationship is not balanced because of this codependency.


The second two cards:

Past Tense/Romance Meaning

Four of Cups: In the same way, in relationship situations, there is just too much love and happiness, but one of the lovers is either too bored with it or is expecting something more than this in a shocking manner. Apparently, there are many other meanings attached to this tarot card. For instance, this tarot card can indicate that you know exactly how you should be running a relationship, but somehow you have decided to not follow them.Four of Cups tarot card can also signify an unstable relationship where a traditional commitment does not exist.

Children: This card can signify that your or your partner’s inner child is affecting the relationship. This means there may be a need for playfulness or a light heart spirit. Or this could signal there is time to heal a childhood wound.

Conclusion: Honestly with these two cards I started to feel like something traumatic happened to Hoseok when was a child. It makes sense because of the stories where he has to self soothe himself like his parents does to calm himself down. The members tease him about it from time to time but that really stuck out to me for some odd reason. I think the playfulness of V helped him forget some things also I think they lost that in there relationship. I think the cards are telling them to get that back into their relationship. Could also be why the relationship is having trouble because the playful and light heartedness of the relationship is fading.


The third two cards

Present Tense / Romance Meaning

Two of Swords: In a relationship situation, it implies that the facts are right in front of the two lovers, but they are intentionally pretending to not see them.

Honeymoon: This hard indicates you need to get away and nurture a romantic love.

Conclusion: I feel like someone has asked to go away on a trip together. And one of them has not given a yes or no answer. But it’s something that their relationship needs but one of them are being indecisive about it. Maybe because of work or that love triangle that Tae always seems to be in the middle of. *coughs* Anyways I think they are both ignoring the relationship between them right now.


The fourth two cards:

Future Tense/ Romance Meaning

Knight of Cups: Represents a trip filled with love and joy. Similarly, in relationship situations, this tarot card implies that the two lovers are on a romantic journey. Now this can be an actual trip or purely psychological. Either way, there is a potential for the love and romance to blossom.

Express Your Love: This card urges you to take the initiative in your love life. That may be contacting a person that you are interested in or attracted to and asking them on a date. It could also mean sending gifts, texts, and flowers. The more you give love the more you experience it.

Conclusion: I think this means with these two cards that they are going on a trip together. They will allow them to express their love for each other. I think this will reignite their relationship with this trip. I look forward to seeing more moments with these two.


The fifth two cards:

Distance Future Tense/ Romance Meaning

The Magician: The upright Magician tarot card basically talks of a lover who wants to be good to his sweetheart. He is serious by nature. That is why, he is capable of being a good boyfriend or husband. In short, upright, the Magician portrays a man who has only good intention in his heart. As for the relationship itself, it is just stress free and the love between the two people is magical. Better than this is the fact that the relationship is blessed by the universe.

Retreat: This card means that your love will blossom when you spend time alone with your partner. It appears that you have become confused or conflicted by other people’s advice. It’s time for you to disconnect so that you can better hear your own opinions and thoughts. This could mean taking a vacation in nature or a long drive and disconnect from your daily life. This card could also mean an deepening of commitment.

Conclusion: Wow they got two really loving cards. It looks like from whatever trip they might be taking its going to renew their relationship in a very good way. This Magician card is also saying that these two have the power to make their relationship great and go in a very good direction. Which I think it will if they will just take more trips together alone or spend more alone time together. I think that will wash away any bad feelings or neglect that these two are presently giving each other.

My Analysis: I think in the beginning of this relationship there was bond and some of that bond was formed with some form of codependency to it. Even though that card indicates it could be an addiction of some kind like drugs. I don’t think that is actually happening here. I think either JHope or Taehyung was really leaning heavily on each other. This Four of Cups I feel there is some neglect going on due to some childhood issues. Or maybe the children in the group is affecting their relationship. LOL! This could also indicate that someone is acting childish in the relationship making it difficult.

This Two of Swords and Honeymoon card I really think these two want to go on a trip together. But they can’t decide when or how they are going on this trip. I also think this card indicates they are ignoring their feelings for each other. Obviously they decided to go because of the other loving two sets of cards. Which when they go on this trip they rekindle their relationship and it will head them into a much positive direction.

Do I feel like sex is involved with these two no I didn’t get no cards indicating that. Which in the friendship reading I got that and I thought something sexual was going on in the background. I’m going to be messy for a second. Do I feel that this could head into a sexual relationship maybe because of all these trips and retreats. Just saying….

Originally posted by ambrosethreigns


Anyways I’m still taking suggestions on BTS only. Inbox me with questions or suggestions. I’m going to open the floor to doing personal readings for 3$ I feel like I’m good enough now to start doing those. If your interested just private message me so we can discuss details.

If you want to read more of my BTS Tarot Card Readings the Masterlist is here: { Link Here

If you want to read about my KCON 17 experience so far still working on it the link is here: {Link Here}

I hope you enjoyed it see ya in the next reading….

Reverse Engineering Taylor Swift’s Startup Business Model

Joey Rideout
Security Engineer from Canada. Student of improv, entrepreneurship, and Computer Science.
May 17, 2016

It has been said before, but Taylor Swift is a very business-savvy individual. What hasn’t been said is how her early days looked a lot like a startup. And although Swift has been repeatedly praised for her relatable songwriting, her use of social media, and her personal brand, I think it’s important to examine how exactly she does those things so well. In an effort to learn from her successes, I will attempt to reverse engineer the startup that is Taylor Swift.

I Knew You Had Hustle When You Walked In

Taylor Swift’s early hustle.
Swift “worked in a little shed” to record demos of her first songs, not unlike the cliche of startups who began in a garage. She even learned how to play guitar from a computer technician. Her early career featured many failed attempts to convince a record label to invest in her talents before landing a deal. Despite being doubted for her youth, she came to be called “a savvy, no-nonsense careerist” in 2006 when she was only 16. Swift has been, and continues to be, very successful with her entrepreneurial activities. The result? A very successful business model that we stand to learn a lot from. The product? Some incredibly relatable music. But why, exactly, have so many people found it relatable?

Taylor-Made Customer Segments
A trite piece of advice for entrepreneurs and writers is, of course, to know your audience. Country music wasn’t appealing to young girls at the time, so Swift made that demographic her target audience. Swift saw where her competition was failing in the marketplace, and took advantage of a previously untapped customer base.
Now, how does one create relatable music for young girls? Look at what works: chart-topping music tends to be about love, sex, and relationships. What if Swift simply observed the different types of relationships being experienced by her target demographic?

“I started developing this really keen sense of observation — of how to watch people and see what they did. From that sense, I was able to write songs about relationships when I was 13 but not in relationships.” — Taylor Swift

As a highschooler with a keen eye for observation, Swift got to know her audience extremely well. She found inspiration for her music by looking at her own relationships and observing the relationships of others. Swift began writing music in her freshman year of high school, and proceeded to create a stockpile of lyrics that contributed to her first three albums.

Based on those albums, Swift appears to have divided her audience into segments based on their relationship experiences. She then created a compelling value proposition for each of the customer segments she identified. In other words, each song targeted a particular subset of young lovers. Or, should I say, New Romantics?

Let’s attempt to reverse engineer the process of creating customer segments based on high school relationships. If I were to enumerate the different types of relationships experienced within my secondary school, it might look something like this:

The idealistic fairy-tale romance that you might daydream about.
The painful situation where you like someone who does not feel the same way.
Being in a relationship with someone who becomes cold and distant.
Being in an unstable, on-again off-again relationship.
Having to deal with emotional baggage or family issues in a relationship.
Being in a toxic or unhealthy relationship.
Being cheated on.
Being dumped.
Reflecting on a past relationship with regret.
Moving on from a past relationship and looking forward to the future.
Swift wrote songs that each hit one or more of these ten nails right on the head. This varied offering of songs allowed Swift to cultivate an emotional connection with a wide variety of people. Let’s take a look at how Swift’s early songwriting related to the ten situations above, respectively:

“Love Story”
“You Belong With Me”
“The Story of Us”
“We Are Never Getting Back Together”
“Mine”
“I Knew You Were Trouble”
“Should’ve Said No”
“Picture to Burn”
“Back to December”
“Tim McGraw”

So there you have it: Swift was a young entrepreneur, creating products (songs) for different segments of customers within an audience that she knew very well.

A Love Story of Viral Growth
“The best people in life are free.” — Taylor Swift, New Romantics

When Swift sings that the best people in life are free, she is probably relating to the youthfulness of her audience. I prefer to think that she is talking about her viral growth model. Her initial success is often attributed to her early adoption and skillful use of social media for marketing and distributing her content (versus traditional methods of paid advertising). But one does not simply “use social media”. Which platform you invest your time on is key.
“We hang back, it’s all in the timing
It’s poker, he can’t see it in my face
But I’m about to play my Ace”
— Taylor Swift, New Romantics

Swift’s timing in the social media space was spot-on. She focused her efforts on emerging social media platforms in order to earn a following where young people’s eyeballs were flocking. Swift joined Twitter in 2008, back when Twitter had roughly a million registered users (compared to over a billion today).

Gary Vaynerchuk, the social media entrepreneur who credits his own success to predicting which platforms are winning the public’s attention, joined Twitter just one year earlier in 2007. How does Vaynerchuk make his predictions? By observing people, just like Swift. She jumped on that shift in consumer attention at just the right time, built a following, and rode the wave of publicity that followed. If Swift were starting out today, she would probably invest most of her time in Snapchat or Musical.ly instead of Twitter or Tumblr, because that’s where junior high students’ attention appears to be going.

Accidental Tumblr addiction, or calculated hustle?

Swift’s content is also highly authentic and engaging. Her frequent direct engagement with followers on social media resonates with her fans. Swift has hustle — she invests her time in social media in order to make as many authentic connections as possible. Her early use of this strategy foreshadowed current social media marketing trends that focus on customer engagement.
Swift’s tone and behavior on social media is also known for being local to each platform.

Her content on Tumblr, for example, is distinctly Tumblr-ey— its vernacular and sense of humor fit in with the community. Again, Swift likely spent time observing what worked within these communities before joining them. This platform-specific behavior let Swift create consumable content while also adding to the authenticity of her brand. Even now, in 2016, brands are still struggling to create authentic content and engage with customers on emerging platforms.

Brand Blood
Swift’s brand, which could be summed up as “human and relatable”, ties together her social media presence and relatable music into something recognizable and marketable. Swift’s brand is also maturing and growing appropriately with her audience so that it stays relatable. Her latest album, 1989, is a more mature offering that resonates with university-aged young adults. These are the same people Swift targeted earlier when they were in high school. I am one of those people — I personally relate to her music now as much as I did back then. I expect future offerings from Swift to continue growing with this millennial audience into their late twenties (which Swift is currently experiencing — you go, girl!). This customer-focused approach allows her brand to remain relatable and authentic to her core audience. To quote Swift’s latest music video, “it’s all about the fans”.

“It’s really important for me, for my fans to trust me.” — Taylor Swift

Perhaps we will see songs about growing older, seeing friends getting married, or maybe even midlife crises. Some prefer to describe Swift’s brand as “nostalgic”, but her nostalgia for her recent past always manages to describe the way my world is today.

As a twenty-something T-Swizzle fan, I certainly feel like Swift is eerily talented at narrating my life experiences so far. Here’s hoping that there’s still more relatable content to come.

So in addition to being an iconic singer and songwriter, Swift’s story is also an entrepreneur’s wildest dream. Swift’s songs were adopted by her target audience like wildfire due to a combination of innovations that in hindsight create an impressive business model.

anonymous asked:

What are ur thoughts on yoko ono? I'm researching her art and I'm thinking abt her as a person I can't remember any actually real like bad things she did I guess but u seem to know the dirt I just wanna know b4 I say I'm a fan ya know? Or just to know about her all around character and it's hard to look it up bc ppl mostly say she evil bc she"broke up the beatlez""". You know? Anyways thank u.

Ye I gotchu. The thing is, when people say they hate her because she broke up the beatles, what they are seeing is that she’s not a very likable person. But they won’t put in the time or effort to figure out why. “She broke up the beatles!!!” is a lazy excuse for an underlying problem. Kudos for doing some research first. GET READY FOR A SHITBOAT OF INFORMATION.

How do you define a really bad person? She certainly didn’t kill anyone, but I definitely don’t like her. Many many many many people she has interacted with have given accounts of her manipulative and obsessive behavior, and she was a lost cause to me once these behaviors began to affect John and his family. 

Ironically enough, she was actually our commencement speaker at Pratt a few years ago.

The first thing I feel I have to say is that I don’t believe she broke up The Beatles. Ringo had already left once and George walked out during the recording of Get Back. John had previously expressed his desire to leave but Paul was insistent on keeping the group together, and I’m glad that was the case. Otherwise we wouldn’t have Abbey Road.

If I want to be nice about her relationship with John, I would say half of it was unhealthy because they fueled each other’s bad habits, and the other half was unhealthy because they were actively abusive to one another. I would never say that they didn’t love one another, but I would say that their relationship was harmful. Here is a timeline of their relationship [x]

Let’s start with how Yoko met John. The popular story is that John was invited to one of her shows by a third party. The reality is that she had been… basically stalking him (while they were each married to other people), and persisted even after receiving no response.

“On many levels she was very manipulative. I think she knew exactly what she was doing from day one. She played it innocent, but I think she had it all planned.”

-Julian Lennon [x]

This is a passage from Peter Brown’s book (Brian Epstein’s second hand man, who was also featured in a line from The Ballad of John and Yoko), The Love You Make: An Insider’s Story of the Beatles. [x]

John and Yoko were both addicted to heroin from the late 60s to early 70s. John stated that it was because of the lack of acceptance Yoko was receiving from friends and the general public. Although this turmoil affected the both of them, it is a prime example of the bad habits they shared, and not a nurturing environment for a healthy relationship.

“Heroin. It just was not too much fun. I never injected it or anything. We sniffed a little when we were in real pain. I mean we just couldn’t - people were giving us such a hard time. And I’ve had so much shit thrown at me and especially at Yoko.”

-John Lennon, Lennon Remembers, Jann S Wenner [x]

In 1972, John met one of his longtime idols Chuck Berry. While they were performing together, Yoko started screeching into a mic and freaked Chuck Berry and pretty much everybody else the fuck out. John was embarrassed in front of his idol, and the video became infamous. Look at Chuck’s face, that is the face of FEAR. [x]

They were also intense dieters. John’s troubles with food were no secret. His self esteem fell into a downward spiral after a reporter called him “the fat beatle” in 1965. While I don’t believe he had an eating disorder, he was very obviously underweight and struggling with his image. Yoko was nothing but encouraging of this endeavor, and even joined him on some of his diets.

“We had a picture of Orson Welles in the control room as “Don’t do this,” because he was enormous. So yeah, John was conscious of his image. And he always thought of himself as the fat Beatle.”

-Flipp Brynn [x]

“John and I were having a heart-to-heart, then all of a sudden John went off about how powerful men had ravenous appetites and wanted to swallow the world whole. And he thought that was why he had this horrible problem – being hungry all the time and overeating.“

- Harry Nilsson [x]

The Lost Weekend 1973-1975: even when Yoko wasn’t with John, she needed to be in control of who was. In ‘73 she suggested that John move to LA to build sexual relationships with other women. Little did he know that she had been setting him up with their receptionist May Pang all along. May had this to say about it;

Yoko said John would start seeing someone new and she wanted it to be “someone who would treat John well”. I now sensed a bombshell coming. I was thinking: “If they split, who will I be working for?”

Yoko continued: “You don’t have a boyfriend.” I dropped my pad and pen. Did I just hear right?

I assured her I wasn’t interested in John, if that’s what she was thinking, but Yoko didn’t stop there: “I think you should go out with him.”

I was dumbfounded and kept telling her no, but apparently her mind was made up.”

-May Pang [x]

’…. the relationship between May and John was essentially initiated, controlled and then terminated by Yoko Ono.‘ 

-May Pang, forward for Loving John

While the initiation of their relationship was forced, May Pang had a positive influence on John. She encouraged him to re-engage with old friends (including Paul McCartney), and even arranged the first visit he’d had with his son Julian in over four years. Being with Yoko seemed to have disconnected him from the world.

Notorious for the public perception as an orgy of drink and drugs, the Lost Weekend also found Lennon regaining his musical creativity after an early 1970s lull, reconciling with Paul McCartney and rebuilding his relationship with his son Julian, both of which were encouraged by Pang. In March 1974 she took the last known photograph of Lennon and McCartney together.

-Beatles Bible [x]

There were instances where Yoko would call and ask about everything John had done that day, but refused to talk to him when May would offer. Yoko had closed the door on their relationship, and turned it into a one-way mirror.

VG: With Yoko telephoning daily it must have felt like a third party in the relationship. What was it like for you and John?

MP: The problem was 99% of her calls weren’t “Hello, how are you?” First they were directives to keep our relationship quiet, which was fine with me. Then John ‘announced it to the world’ by kissing me for Time Magazine and crisis mode kicked in. She would call with instructions of what to say, that she had thrown John out. She’d call everyday to remind us of what to say. One drama after another.

VG: Did you and John ever discuss marriage or having children together?

MP: Only when Yoko threatened to divorce him, John told me, “Soon I’ll be a free man…” One thing I learned being with John was to live spur-of-the-moment. There was always some new, unplanned adventure, almost on a daily basis.

VG: Did yours feel like a permanent relationship, or was there always a feeling that John would eventually go back to Yoko?

MP: Sometimes it would feel permanent, but he could be jerked back into Yoko’s mind games very easily. Also, as our relationship began so strangely I suppose it would have had to end just as strange, this was at the point when he was making moves to make a complete break from her. We were about to buy a home in Montauk, John had cemented a closer relationship with Julian as well as with Paul and plans for us to visit him and Linda in New Orleans too.

-May Pang and Viv Goldberg, Beatles Bible [x]

Now I can’t say that the lost weekend is 100% Yoko’s fault, but she went to excessive lengths in order to control it. John cheated on her, and there’s been evidence of her cheating on him as well. This is what happens when you have a relationship founded upon infidelity.

In 1975, Paul convinced Yoko to take John back (funny how that works, or maybe Paul is just a good person), and they had Sean less than a year later.

But wait a minute! Yoko had a daughter too! This is a sad story and could be a factor of sympathy for many readers. What ever happened to her? Her name was Kyoko Chan Cox (raised under the name Ruth Holman) and she was born in 1963 of Yoko’s second marriage. Yoko and her husband Anthony Cox were having trouble with their relationship. They ultimately divorced in 1969. Yoko ended up losing the custody battle and was deemed an unfit mother due to her drug use and mental history. Unfortunately, Cox disappeared with then 8 year old Kyoto during the battle and sadly Yoko didn’t see her again until 1998. 

I feel like I need an entirely new post, or maybe even a book, for Julian. Yoko was very cruel to him. If Julian called their house, not only would she prevent him from talking to John, she would also pretend the phone call had never taken place. When John died, Julian was seventeen years old. There was a very sad article I read awhile ago which explained that when John passed away, Julian and Cynthia were anxious to get to New York to attend his funeral. Yoko initially prohibited either of them from coming, but eventually struck up a deal where Julian was allowed to visit but Cynthia had to stay behind in Wales. Cynthia recalled how worried she was in the airport while she was seeing him off. Her son’s father had just passed away, and she wasn’t able to stay with him to make sure he was okay. I can’t find the article at the moment, but if anyone knows about it please add a link.

Immediately after he passed away, Yoko auctioned many of John’s things to private buyers without offering any of them to Julian. He spent most of his inherited estate buying his father’s possessions back from these buyers, including a postcard he had written to his father when he was a young boy. [x]

Yoko had even withheld Julian’s trust fund for 16 years.

“In the original divorce settlement, Julian was to receive £2,400 a year in maintenance and to inherit a £50,000 trust fund when he was 25. After a long legal wrangle, he secured a further settlement from the estate in 1996, the details of which he is forbidden to discuss. “No,” he says, “I don’t think it was necessarily fair, but I’m OK. The last thing I wanted was a court battle because there’s much more money on the estate side than my side.”

He didn’t much care about the money, he says wearily; it was the principle of the thing. He’s not after a sympathy vote, but what he found really sad was the lack of any personal mementoes, “seeing nothing offered to me at all, having to go out and buy back Dad’s stuff with his money”.

He recently paid £30,373 for the Afghan coat John Lennon wore on the cover of the Magical Mystery Tour album in 1967; £17,246 for a black velvet cape (worn in the Beatles’ film, Help!), and £25,000 for the scribbled notes of the song Hey Jude, written by Paul McCartney for Julian when his parents were splitting up.

-Julian Lennon interview with Elizabeth Grice, 1998 [x]

I think I’ve linked this interview with Julian twice already, but it’s a really great video and you should definitely watch it. [x]


There’s a lot of stuff here, but there’s also a lot more. If I wanted to be short about it I could have just mentioned how Yoko had John calling her “Mother.” With what we know about John and his mother, that nickname made Yoko out to be an invaluable person in his life. 

Okay, I’m pissed so I’m gonna rant.

If I was a new fucking parent, like Briana, I would not be out drinking and partying, not even a month after my baby is born, one, because it could hurt me, as your body still isn’t back to its normal routine, alcohol could damage cells and it could possibly, put you into hospital.

Secondly, if my baby had been born a month ago, I would not go out clubbing and drinking, fuck no, I’m not saying new parents should have no freedom but I’m just saying, getting pissed with my cousin would be the last thing on my mind.

Third, if I was a new father, like Louis, I’m fucking sorry to say this but going out with my girlfriend and smoking and drinking would not be a fucking priority, Louis is a respectful man and he loves children, he has 6 younger siblings for goodness sake, he would not abandon his child like his father did to him, I believe that if this entire thing was real, he would maybe call it off with Danielle for a while until he’s spent at least a couple months with his child.

Forth, again with the Danielle and Louis shit, what kind of father worries about walking around town holding his ‘girlfriends’ hand when his child is in need back at home, I do not believe for a second that Louis would go on about how excited he is and how happy he is to be a dad and then rarely ever see the child because he’s constantly with Danielle.

Fifth, doesn’t it seem strange that not one of louis’ bandmates and best friends have congratulated or seen their 'brothers’ baby, they’ve always said they’ve been as close as brothers, I don’t believe for a second that this billionaire boy band, who are on a 'break’ would not come down to see Louis’ baby and i don’t believe for a second that they wouldn’t address it online.

Sixth, Louis’ family stayed out of this entire thing up until Freddie was born, they didn’t once mention Louis and how 'happy’ he was or about how 'delighted’ they are to have a grandson/nephew, his sisters stayed completely out of it until felicite outed their family and that’s when shit kinda blew up, that’s when Louis posts a pic and Johanna talks about how happy he is.

Seventh, if you ever question whether this is real or not, because it has to be real right? Johanna has addressed it and is completely happy about it, listen, if her son isn’t ready to come out and his contract doesn’t end until March, she’s going to stand by him, no matter what, because it’s her son, she wants to protect him, she’s not going to say 'nope Larry is real, Freddie is fake, guys go home’ because she wouldn’t do that, we don’t know what goes on behind closed doors, maybe louis/Harry are too scared to come out or maybe they aren’t ready or maybe they’re worried it’ll ruin their career, stop tweeting Johanna saying Freddie is fake, expecting her to agree with it because she’s not there to make herself happy, she’s there to stand by her son.

Eighth, do not tell me that Harry fucking styles, who loves children, who is supposedly Louis’ best pal, would have not congratulated Louis or seen and a had picture with him, do not fucking tell me that this wouldn’t happen, because it fucking would, the boys are staying out of this for a reason.

And finally, why would briana’s family choose to, up until late, post fake photos and ask people to post fake photos if it was real, if all of this was real, there would be no need to use other people’s photos, it’d be real, the jungwirths are money hungry fame addicted liars, also, do you really expect me to believe that oli is just around for the fun of it? No, he’s obviously, if the baby is real, got a big part in this, Briana has multiple sex tapes, one of which, Oli is featured in, if, let’s say that this baby is a real child, then I do believe that Oli has some kind of role in its life.

Oh, and a little bonus, put yourself in Louis fucking Tomlinson’s position, a billionaire, a woman tells you she’s pregnant and you’ve possibly seen her once in your life, do not fucking tell me that you’d just accept that news and believe that she’s actually pregnant with your child, do not tell me that he wouldn’t beg for a DNA test, and do not tell me that after being told about this so called baby of yours, you’d willingly pay out all of the money that they’re asking for, no questions asked because quite frankly, that’s a bit fucking fishy to me, he just accepts the fact that some random woman, who he’s seen once is pregnant with his child, no questions asked and he’s just supplying an unhealthy amount of money, no questions asked. fucking bullshit.

I hope that’s cleared it all up for ya.

One Year From Now 1/3

Timeline: As title suggests, it’s set about a year from now.
Genre: Fluff.
Prompt: A collection of ficlets, Lindsay and Jay “a year from now, two years from now, twenty years from now.

& “Hi, I love your writing, you could write something like linstead in this moment on CPD, but living together a few months, then Erin finds pregnant or think she is and freak out, so Jay calms her down.”

A/N: This was the cutest prompt ever. I know I took my time writing it, but I wanted it to be good. I hope you enjoy reading this, as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Huge shoutout to my friend and beta @dylanobrienstyler​ who always takes time for me! If you ship Stydia, you can go send her prompts :)

Also, S/O to @allenting​, because I was a bit lost for a minute, and she helped me figure out what direction I wanted to go with this.

Erin Lindsay does not panic. She has always prided herself on keeping her cool, even in the worst of events. But realizing she is almost a week late for her period makes her want to curl on the floor of the bathroom and never leave.

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PETER HALE'S INTEREST IN STILES

There are numerous accounts where Stiles and Peter get along. For pale-weak-defenseless-147-pounds-of-frail-skin-and-fragile-bones Stiles to spend so much time with the psychotic-monstrous-lunatic-who-everyone-hates Peter without the latter killing the former (and not even injuring, ever), it’s a very strange dynamic for the show.

Unfortunately I can not point out all of these instances, but I will do my best to point out the most significant patterns between these two. 

I have three main speculations as to why this strange relationship exists between Stiles and Peter, but first let’s look at the evidence:

Keep reading

drusillathekiller  asked:

How do you feel about the hate Buffy herself has received from some parts of the fandom? I was quite surprised when I joined this fandom to find that there were a vocal minority who disliked or outright hated Buffy (commonly cited reasons being her characterization post season-5 or her being too 'whiny', which surprised me a lot because dying twice, your mother dying, and being forced into a job in which you could literally die at any moment seemed like ample reason to whine imho). :3 xx

i’m always gonna defend buffy til the day i die 

and then i’m gonna come back and haunt the haters!

she is an incredible role model for me and so many people and whilst i dont agree with 100% of her actions and behaviour, i understand them completely and don’t think that it is deserving of hate, there is a difference between not liking something and hating someone

trigger warnings for death, depression, addiction, sexual assault

season 5 buffy was struggling with this huge realisation that her sister wasn’t always her sister and was actually a magical being, her relationship with riley was breaking down, she was questioning herself, and her mother went through a serious illness, only to get better briefly and then die suddenly. buffy’s world was shattered and then when her whole world was ending, suddenly the entire world was ending and she (to throw in a nice quote here) had the weight of the world on her shoulders and she made the incredible decision to sacrifice herself to save her sister, her friends, and the rest of the world

then buffy was in heaven where she had finally found some form of peace (and she probably saw her mum again i’m gonna cry)  and then she was ripped out of there and had to dig herself out of her grave and readjust to the harsh reality of life. adjusting to adult life and the guardianship of her sister and having to get a job just is enough to make anyone want to give up but add onto that, the role and life of a slayer and the incredible responsibility of that - buffy was very clearly struggling with depression (and it was written so realistically that so many people can see themselves in buffy’s struggle). i think buffy’s relationship with spike (in s6) was unhealthy but i understand why the relationship started. so if we add this relationship into the equation, combined with her father figure leaving, her sister going through her own struggles and may even be taken from buffy, one of her best friend’s relationships ending in a horrible way and destroying that hope she had for love, and another best friend struggling with a magic addiction that is becoming increasingly dangerous, oh and to make things worse buffy has to suffer an attempted sexual assault and then buffy is shot, and her good friend killed in cold blood, causing her best friend to go over the edge and she doesnt even have time to process everything that is happening and is now faced with having to save the world again and doesnt know if doing so will result in the death of her best friend

in the final season, buffy is given this extra huge responsibility of protecting the entire slayer line. suddenly there are so many people looking to her for guidance and protection when she herself is only just recovering. and of course the impending threat of the end of the world puts strains on all of the relationships/friendships in the show and buffy may push people away to some extent but i understand why she does it, season 7 is a very personal fight as it is a direct attack on the slayer line and only buffy (and faith towards the end of s7) can truly understand. buffy is just completely overwhelmed and tired but has to remain strong, and of course the armour is going to crack at this point as soon as any pressure is put on her. she is only human. so she puts on this extra hard exterior because she knows that’s the only way to win this fight but underneath she is incredibly scared but can’t let that show. 


so all i can say to anyone that thinks buffy deserves hate: if you went through just one of these things, i think that would be enough to make you get into your bed and not want to even get out and face the world, and for buffy to experience those incredible hardships externally and then go through so many struggles internally,  and survive, is incredible

that little smile at the end of chosen is everything to me and i am so proud she made it

anonymous asked:

What'd think of the claims that Lorna/Nicky is an abusive relationship? I mean it defiantly isn't the healthiest but I wouldn't go as far as saying it's that toxic but I'd never want to ignore someone's discomfort either

-rubs hands together- Okay, I’ve been waiting to answer this one until I had finished S4 so I would know everything and would be able to answer this completely and properly. I’ve been thinking about this question a lot since I saw it, because when I did see it, I hadn’t really seen anything on the show that I would imagine being construed as abusive. However, now that I’ve seen the S4 finale, I can kind of see where people would pick up that idea.

It’s a bit confusing though, so this is going to get long, I apologize.

First off, no, it definitely is not the winning article of a healthy relationship by any means. I mean, the obvious reason for that being that they are both criminals in prison. One is a drug addict with a self decrepit personality and the other is a very mentally ill person who is getting no diagnosis or treatment or even acknowledgment that she is not anything other than a straight up stalker. I mean, she IS, but it’s also very evident that she has a mental disorder that is driving that, because she also seems to have a very bad anger management problem that is coupled with it.

Do I think it’s toxic? Not necessarily. Unhealthy, yes, but with all the demons the two have personally as well as being in prison, there never was a chance of it being healthy or normal. However, Nichorello doesn’t really negatively affect anyone. The relationship itself, when not beaten down by the woes of prison life, actually seems to make both characters better. For instance, after the whole thing with Christopher in S2 and the staircase scene when Lorna finally realized that someone understood her and loved her even with her flaws, she seemed to be doing a lot better from what we’ve seen of S3. It was only after Nicky was gone did she retreat back into an unhealthy mental state. It was also after this scene that Nicky finally gave up the heroin she had stashed and while I do believe a majority of the reason for giving it up was for her own health as well as for Red, I do think a little bit of it was for Lorna too. She seems to want to stay off the drugs when Lorna is involved.

Of course, I’m not saying that’s a good thing entirely. Dependency on one person that is not yourself is not healthy, but it does show that the two want and do do better when they’re around each other. 

I also think basing any reasoning behind an abusive relationship from this past season is a bit invalid, because 99% of Nicky’s actions were driven by her drug use and falling off the wagon. For me, she was out of character quite a lot this season. At least, from the Nicky we know and love from the past three seasons and whether that’s bad writing or the drugs or both, I’m not sure.

Any abusive like tendencies that people see as such seem to come from both of the characters’ personal afflictions. Do I think they could work right now? No, absolutely not. But, if Nicky got serious help for her addiction and managed to stay off the drugs and be in a good place mentally and Lorna got help for her mental disorder (like ACTUAL help that’s y’know, helpful) I think they’d have a very fine relationship. They both have personal problems that they need to work out on their own. Nicky shouldn’t even be trying to start something up with Lorna right now because it’s unhealthy to start a relationship so quickly after getting off of drugs, as it develops a dependency that isn’t good for either of them.

Sooooo, in summary, the relationship itself is not toxic or abusive (in my opinion). It’s either characters’ personal problems that are causing the conflict and both need to be sorted properly; not just for the sake of a healthy relationship, but for the sake of a healthy life for both of them separately. It’s obvious to me that if they can work through those trouble of their own, they could work out, because they both show a deep love and attraction toward each other and there is no direct abuse that is coming solely from the relationship. Nicky is not yelling because Lorna won’t give it up to her, Nicky is yelling because Lorna is living in a fantasy that nobody seems to bother trying to tell her is a delusion and Lorna is not crying because Nicky is yelling at her, Lorna is crying because she understands she’s falling back into the pit of everything that happened with Christopher.

It’s not like Vauseman (which, I apologize to Vauseman shippers, I like it when it’s in the hands of the fandom, but not the show), which is very much a toxic relationship. Because Piper is emotionally abusive and tries to control every aspect of that relationship. All that’s coming from Nicky and Lorna is two lost people who both need help, with Nicky being the only person who understands Lorna as well as being self destructive on her own. Nobody is trying to hurt or control the other in this relationship. Nicky tries to help in areas that Morello obviously needs help in and Morello is too buried in her own delusions because nobody (aside from Nicky) tells her the truth, but instead, feeds her fantasies. Morello also doesn’t seem to understand that her parading about with someone else hurts Nicky, because Nicky is too stubborn to admit any feelings (of course that also comes from her undying belief that she is a horrible person and undeserving of love, which they actually BOTH have). For all Morello knows, Nicky just wants to have sex with her, because that’s her wall that she hides behind. That’s another thing they need is a nice little chat where they sit down and discuss where they’re at and how they feel, which I think would sort things out very well if Nicky would open up.

However, if someone is uncomfortable with Nichorello, I totally understand and wouldn’t want to ignore their discomfort either. I don’t have the same opinion, but that’s the whole point of an opinion; people can have different points of view on it. So it’s fine if someone thinks it’s abusive, it’s better than ignoring something that is abusive and lots of people have different triggers. 

But that long ass reply up there is my opinion on the matter <3

Since there are so many leaks out there, Jasper’s return was no surprise for me (sadly). Yet this episode was very worthwhile and there are so many things we need to talk about!

Let’s talk about toxic relationships

Malachite was the worst example of fusion, we have seen so far. (If we don’t count the Cluster and gem mutants as real fusion.) As Garnet said at the end of Jail Break: “They [Lapis and Jasper] are really bad for each other”. Jasper more or less forced Lapis into fusing with her and Lapis tricked Jasper to stay fused. Both are victims and offenders at the same time. They’ve hurt each other but yet they have been together for far to long.

The first surprise was that Lapis admitted to Steven (and herself) that she missed Jasper, even though being Malachite was terrible. And when Jasper shows up she falls on her knees and begs Lapis to fuse with her again. Even when Lapis refuses since their past was so horrible Jasper stays persistent.

It happens very often in toxic relationships that the partners involved can’t let go of each other. They might split for a short amount of time but they miss the false security of the relationship and prefer even a abusive one over being alone and feeling weak again. 

“I’ve changed!” Doesn’t that sound familiar? The whole conversation of Lapis and Jasper is a very good example how these things go in real life. False promises are made in toxic relationships too often in order to convince the partner to go back to how things were. (And things were terrible!) If you pay attention, you will see so many red flags in this short talk between Jasper and Lapis.

Let’s talk about consent

This theme seems to appear more often in Steven Universe now. And I can’t stress enough how important that is!!! Especially because it is a kids show. Why should we have to wait to learn about consent until we are teenagers? Do we really have to let these terrible experiences happen to us before we can address them? NO! Kids aren’t dumb and they will understand if you take time to explain. I used to be a huuugggeee Anime fan when I was still a teen but it took me 10 years to realize how dangerous some tropes frequently used in Anime are. Especially when it comes to consent. Very often one person forces another into a kiss in the I-know-you-want-it-too way and usually the other Anime person does want it but you can’t assume that someone wants something, too without asking them! And when they say no you got to respect it instead of forcing yourself onto that person. Even if the person only says no because they are shy, that doesn’t make any difference. There is nothing more awful than being kissed when you are not ready yet - even if you do like the other person. 

Sorry I’m getting off track here. The kissing thing was only an example and I want to point out that I don’t hate Anime and that Anime isn’t a bad thing in general. You can love something and still criticize certain aspects.

Back to Steven Universe. So yeah, consent was totally missing when Jasper and Lapis first fused and stayed Malachite. And now in Alone At Sea consent was missing again, when Jasper wouldn’t stop telling Lapis that they have to form Malachite again. She didn’t take no for an answer and to make things worse, she wanted to take her frustration out on Steven. She even blamed him for Lapis’ lack of cooperation. This shows that Jasper didn’t even listen properly to all the concerns Lapis mentioned. Otherwise she would have understood. But she didn’t want to understand. She wanted Malachite and that was the only thing that mattered.

Let’s talk about fusion

When Lapis admitted that she missed Jasper I wasn’t too surprised - I’ve had a certain theory about fusion for quite a while now. Back in Strong In The Real Way Sugalite went berserk because she stayed fused for too long. You loose yourself in a fusion when don’t separate anymore. Not only that but fusion can be kind of addicting. Amethyst and Pearl are always happy when Garnet wants to fuse with them since they feel so much stronger and secure as a fusion. Pearl even lied to Garnet to trick her into fusion over and over again in Cry For Help. And although Ruby and Sapphire are the best example of a healthy, loving relationship, they have been fused for so long that they can’t take their eyes off each other as soon as Garnets splits apart. The best example for that would be Hit The Diamond.

Keeping all of that in mind it seems to be very logical that both Jasper and Lapis miss being together, even though it was a horrible experience. Malachite was powerful and capable of so much more. And they were together for months, so they got used to each other and their situation in a morbid kind of way.

The difference between Lapis and Jasper is that Lapis recognizes that her feelings of missing Jasper are wrong and unhealthy. That she has to work this out instead of going back. Jasper on the other hand doesn’t care. She just wants to be strong again.

So what did we learn? Being fused for too long changes you. It changes your feelings. It changes the way you think. It is risky if you don’t keep the consequences in mind.

The reason Garnet can deal with it, is that she is a healthy fusion of pure love. But nonetheless Ruby and Sapphire are extremely crazy about each other and I think it is a direct result of being fused non stop, since they weren’t that flirty and easily distracted in The Answer as they were in Hit The Diamond. At least that’s my assumption.

What do you think? 

Unlimited Ramen
NH Month Day 5

Words: 551

It was a universal truth that Hinata Hyuuga had captured the heart of Uzumaki Naruto in her neat palms.

But it wasn’t until one, particular, incident that Ino and Sakura realised how much of his heart Hinata actually held.

They were strolling to a quiet teahouse during their lunch break and had found Sasuke and Naruto walking together. It wasn’t strange to see constantly bantering on the street at all. Naruto was one of the only people that Sasuke ever frequented with, the others being Kakashi and Sakura.

“Isn’t that Naruto and… Sasuke?” Ino asked, surprised. “I didn’t think that Sasuke walks in direct sunlight.”

“Probably Naruto’s influence,” Sakura tried to explain. “You know how he’s infectious. Since we’re all walking the same direction, we should catch up with them.”

“Good idea,” Ino agreed.

When Ino and Sakura caught up to Naruto, their eyebrows shot up to see the polar opposites in an agreeable conversation. Naruto yelled out a cheery ‘hi guys!’ while Sasuke nodded to them before slinking back into his collar. Polar opposites even in reaction.

And it seemed like they interrupted an important conversation because shortly after, Sasuke mumbled something into his collar.

“Huh? Did you say something, Teme?” Naruto asked.

“… so you’ll think about it?”

“About what?”

Sasuke growled, his hand twitching to hit him. “I just told you, idiot.”

At his blank look, Sasuke let out a sigh. It was refreshing to see that the sigh held no anger, only mild frustration and acceptance. It was slightly comforting for the Uchiha that although time may pass, Naruto will always have a thick head. Not that he’ll ever admit it, though.”

“I said,” Sasuke drew out, “Let’s spar after lunch and then go to Ichiraku’s. I will treat your unhealthy, addiction to ramen as much as you want.”

Sakura and Ino almost fell backwards with shock. They look at each other with their jaws almost touching the floor. An invitation to spar, to unlimited ramen and to socialise from Sasuke?! From Sasuke?!

Naruto snapped out of his shock faster than the rest. “Forgoing your hermit ways, huh?” he teased.

“Just answer already.”

His snappy comment made Naruto laugh.

Today was a momentous day in history. Today was the day hermit extraordinaire, Uchiha Sasuke, willingly extended a hand out to Naruto, endangering the contents his wallet in the process. Surely, Naruto was crying with joy; this is what he has been chasing for ever since they were genin! Uchiha Sasuke was finally socialising! Uchiha Sasuke was finally-

“Hey, I’d love to, Teme,” Naruto grinned at him. “But Hinata’s making ramen tonight and I’d hate to miss that even if it’s for Teuchi’s.”

-getting his offer rejected by Naruto?!

…Naruto rejected Sasuke’s offer of unlimited ramen?

“I’m sure Hinata wouldn’t mind if there’s one more to the party and-Ino and Sakura… are you guys crying?”

Naruto and Sasuke looked panicked at the tear-stricken women. Sakura grabbed a pack of tissues from her purse before offering them to Ino.

“She did it, Ino-pig,” Sakura sniffled. “She finally did it.”

“I’m so happy for Hina-chan.” Ino carefully wiped her teary eyeliner.

“Uhm, are you guys okay?” Naruto almost poked their cheeks. “And what’s this about Hina-chan?”

It was official. Hyuuga Hinata held Naruto’s whole, complete heart in her gentle hands.

_____

A/N: Inspired by a conversation I had with annalovesfiction about Naruto and Sasuke loving each other like Turk and JD. The day Naruto loves Hinata more than Sasuke is the day we bawl our eyes out.