this is just as unhealthy as being addicted to one direction

so media, and indeed society in general, has this horrible habit of glorifying and romanticizing codependent relationships. i really want people to be educated about them and why they’re unhealthy, so i’d appreciate if everyone could help me spread this around! feel free to add anything in the comments you think i’ve overlooked.

what is a codependent relationship?

a codependent relationship is one where the parties involved are unhealthily dependent on one another. it does not have to be a romantic relationship, but can be platonic, familial, etc. it will usually posses one or more of the following traits:

  • one or both people feeling incapable of handling the world without the other
  • one or both people feeling as if you are incomplete are unwhole without the other
  • one or both allowing one to have an inordinate amount of control in the other’s life; living in a way to please them; significantly altering one’s self or behavior to meet the other’s standards
  • one or both prioritizing the other’s needs and wants above one’s own
  • one or both having an unwillingness to go about life without the other

why is this bad?

besides the blatantly obvious reasons, here are some of the negative impacts/possible if not likely outcomes of a codependent relationship:

  • inability to cope or go about daily life without the support of the other
  • increased anxiety/depression/hyperactivity/indecisiveness without the other
  • increased jealousy/over-protectiveness
  • falling apart of outside relationships due to prioritization of one (loss of friends basically)
  • emotional and/or physical isolation from everyone besides the other
  • loss of individuality and control over one’s life
  • suffering of one’s individual education/career
  • refusal of separation when the relationship turns abusive
  • loss of free time
  • unhealthy obsession with the other
  • increased responsibility of carrying the entire emotional burden of another person

some of the effects of a breakup from a codependent relationship:

  • bouts of depression/anxiety
  • isolation
  • suicide/self-harm/addiction/binge eating/other self-destructive tendencies
  • worsening of effects of pre-existing mental illness
  • inability to reconnect with other people
  • loss of direction in life
  • a WHOLE wealth of other problems that would not fit in this list honestly

a common misconception is that intensely attached relationships like these are beneficial for people with mental illnesses because of the extra support given, when in fact it will often exacerbate the symptoms over time as the individual loses the ability to cope on their own and prioritize the other person above their own well-being.

there are varying degrees of severity of codependency, but that does not mean that ones that are lesser are not still unhealthy.

steps you can take to prevent codependency in a relationship if you are concerned:

  • discuss boundaries. lay out with your partner a basis (or schedule if need be) on which to spend time with one another that does not cause your other relationships, career/education, and personal time to suffer severely.
  • make room for personal time with friends, without the other person. maintain your outside relationships. if you ignore them for the sake of your partner, you’ll slowly lose them, and won’t have anyone else by the time the relationship has run its course. this will also ensure that you can maintain individual relationships with others on your own without the influence of your partner. (also, anyone would be able to tell you that trying to spend time with two people that are attached at the hip is very uncomfortable, and oftentimes devaluating)
  • find other emotional outlets and support than just the one person. find friends who can help  you with your problems too, so the entire weight of them is not put on your partner and you have somewhere to go for help and support if you lose them.
  • take a time-out. spend a couple of weeks to a month apart, not spending extensive time together. while this may seem daunting, it will help you reassert authority over your own life and readjust to not being dependent on them. this also gives you and your partner time to take a breather and reflect if things are getting intense.
  • break it off altogether. this can be a terrifying, if not unthinkable, prospect. but if you cannot be together and maintain your own lives and personal agency despite your best efforts, then you need to call it quits, no ifs ands or buts. 

you, your sense of self, and your ability to go about life without leaning completely on another person is more important than any relationship could ever be. it is not romantic or even CLOSE to ideal to unable to be away or without another person, no matter what any show, book, or movie says. this does not mean you are alone or that other people don’t matter, but that what matters most is you. feel free to love a person with all you have, but don’t let that be ALL you have.

now go out and form some healthy relationships, okay?

One Year From Now 1/3

Timeline: As title suggests, it’s set about a year from now.
Genre: Fluff.
Prompt: A collection of ficlets, Lindsay and Jay “a year from now, two years from now, twenty years from now.

& “Hi, I love your writing, you could write something like linstead in this moment on CPD, but living together a few months, then Erin finds pregnant or think she is and freak out, so Jay calms her down.”

A/N: This was the cutest prompt ever. I know I took my time writing it, but I wanted it to be good. I hope you enjoy reading this, as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Huge shoutout to my friend and beta @dylanobrienstyler​ who always takes time for me! If you ship Stydia, you can go send her prompts :)

Also, S/O to @allenting​, because I was a bit lost for a minute, and she helped me figure out what direction I wanted to go with this.

Erin Lindsay does not panic. She has always prided herself on keeping her cool, even in the worst of events. But realizing she is almost a week late for her period makes her want to curl on the floor of the bathroom and never leave.

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Erase Me

Summary: What hurt him the most, was that he wanted you to breathe. Yet, he couldn’t seem to let you go.

Type: Angst

Member: Baekhyun x Reader (featuring J-Hope of BTS)

Warning: Mild Language

Length: 2,916 words

Okay so sorry for what’s coming. Recently I’ve been in an angsty mood and I couldn’t really work on the Baekhyun fluff in my documents. So I decided to try another version of him. I hope you understand… I’m really nervous about this one too, because it’s my bias and I want it to be up to par. And it wasn’t requested by anyone, I just felt inspired to write it. Enough rambling now, you can now progress (if you haven’t already). Inspired by the song I’m addicted to at the moment, Error- VIXX.

-Admin Gray

Originally posted by katherine80595


That was what he had felt throughout the entirety of your guys’ relationship.

He couldn’t remember when he had become so miserable in the duration of the time he would make for you. He couldn’t recall when your smiles had stopped being the greatest treasure he had ever looked upon. It seemed that somewhere along the line, you had stopped being the person who made his heart beat fast.

Baekhyun was a man who didn’t like holding on if he wasn’t happy anymore. But you had been a different story to him. You were someone who remained with him in his weakest moments, when he was beyond terrified that you would leave him when he revealed his vulnerable side. You comforted him when he felt the dark and scarring claws of depression trying to snake around him. You kissed away his tears whenever he felt he wasn’t good enough. You made him Byun Baekhyun, the strong, witty, and bold guy everyone seemed to love. So why would he just give up on you when his love had started to fade?

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Outcasts - m.

member: Jeon Jungkook

genre: Angst, Smut,  Runaway!au

warnings: Nsfw, Mature Content, Depression, Alcohol and Drugs use

  words: 2.7k

“We’re like two halves of one heart.”

Originally posted by jjks

You didn’t hesitate to climb out of your bedroom window, it was one of those tiresome nights. Where you wanted to curl up in a hole and shut the world out completely. You grabbed what you needed, some cash and a pack of cigarette along with a lighter. 

You have problems with your parents, it was like being locked up in jail inside that house. A house was supposed to feel like a home, home is where your heart is. Your heart wasn’t there. They forced you into making decisions you didn’t wanted, setting up strict rules to follow and they were never happy for what you’ve done. 

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anonymous asked:

What are ur thoughts on yoko ono? I'm researching her art and I'm thinking abt her as a person I can't remember any actually real like bad things she did I guess but u seem to know the dirt I just wanna know b4 I say I'm a fan ya know? Or just to know about her all around character and it's hard to look it up bc ppl mostly say she evil bc she"broke up the beatlez""". You know? Anyways thank u.

Ye I gotchu. The thing is, when people say they hate her because she broke up the beatles, what they are seeing is that she’s not a very likable person. But they won’t put in the time or effort to figure out why. “She broke up the beatles!!!” is a lazy excuse for an underlying problem. Kudos for doing some research first. GET READY FOR A SHITBOAT OF INFORMATION.

How do you define a really bad person? She certainly didn’t kill anyone, but I definitely don’t like her. Many many many many people she has interacted with have given accounts of her manipulative and obsessive behavior, and she was a lost cause to me once these behaviors began to affect John and his family. 

Ironically enough, she was actually our commencement speaker at Pratt a few years ago.

The first thing I feel I have to say is that I don’t believe she broke up The Beatles. Ringo had already left once and George walked out during the recording of Get Back. John had previously expressed his desire to leave but Paul was insistent on keeping the group together, and I’m glad that was the case. Otherwise we wouldn’t have Abbey Road.

If I want to be nice about her relationship with John, I would say half of it was unhealthy because they fueled each other’s bad habits, and the other half was unhealthy because they were actively abusive to one another. I would never say that they didn’t love one another, but I would say that their relationship was harmful. Here is a timeline of their relationship [x]

Let’s start with how Yoko met John. The popular story is that John was invited to one of her shows by a third party. The reality is that she had been… basically stalking him (while they were each married to other people), and persisted even after receiving no response.

“On many levels she was very manipulative. I think she knew exactly what she was doing from day one. She played it innocent, but I think she had it all planned.”

-Julian Lennon [x]

This is a passage from Peter Brown’s book (Brian Epstein’s second hand man, who was also featured in a line from The Ballad of John and Yoko), The Love You Make: An Insider’s Story of the Beatles. [x]

John and Yoko were both addicted to heroin from the late 60s to early 70s. John stated that it was because of the lack of acceptance Yoko was receiving from friends and the general public. Although this turmoil affected the both of them, it is a prime example of the bad habits they shared, and not a nurturing environment for a healthy relationship.

“Heroin. It just was not too much fun. I never injected it or anything. We sniffed a little when we were in real pain. I mean we just couldn’t - people were giving us such a hard time. And I’ve had so much shit thrown at me and especially at Yoko.”

-John Lennon, Lennon Remembers, Jann S Wenner [x]

In 1972, John met one of his longtime idols Chuck Berry. While they were performing together, Yoko started screeching into a mic and freaked Chuck Berry and pretty much everybody else the fuck out. John was embarrassed in front of his idol, and the video became infamous. Look at Chuck’s face, that is the face of FEAR. [x]

They were also intense dieters. John’s troubles with food were no secret. His self esteem fell into a downward spiral after a reporter called him “the fat beatle” in 1965. While I don’t believe he had an eating disorder, he was very obviously underweight and struggling with his image. Yoko was nothing but encouraging of this endeavor, and even joined him on some of his diets.

“We had a picture of Orson Welles in the control room as “Don’t do this,” because he was enormous. So yeah, John was conscious of his image. And he always thought of himself as the fat Beatle.”

-Flipp Brynn [x]

“John and I were having a heart-to-heart, then all of a sudden John went off about how powerful men had ravenous appetites and wanted to swallow the world whole. And he thought that was why he had this horrible problem – being hungry all the time and overeating.“

- Harry Nilsson [x]

The Lost Weekend 1973-1975: even when Yoko wasn’t with John, she needed to be in control of who was. In ‘73 she suggested that John move to LA to build sexual relationships with other women. Little did he know that she had been setting him up with their receptionist May Pang all along. May had this to say about it;

Yoko said John would start seeing someone new and she wanted it to be “someone who would treat John well”. I now sensed a bombshell coming. I was thinking: “If they split, who will I be working for?”

Yoko continued: “You don’t have a boyfriend.” I dropped my pad and pen. Did I just hear right?

I assured her I wasn’t interested in John, if that’s what she was thinking, but Yoko didn’t stop there: “I think you should go out with him.”

I was dumbfounded and kept telling her no, but apparently her mind was made up.”

-May Pang [x]

’…. the relationship between May and John was essentially initiated, controlled and then terminated by Yoko Ono.‘ 

-May Pang, forward for Loving John

While the initiation of their relationship was forced, May Pang had a positive influence on John. She encouraged him to re-engage with old friends (including Paul McCartney), and even arranged the first visit he’d had with his son Julian in over four years. Being with Yoko seemed to have disconnected him from the world.

Notorious for the public perception as an orgy of drink and drugs, the Lost Weekend also found Lennon regaining his musical creativity after an early 1970s lull, reconciling with Paul McCartney and rebuilding his relationship with his son Julian, both of which were encouraged by Pang. In March 1974 she took the last known photograph of Lennon and McCartney together.

-Beatles Bible [x]

There were instances where Yoko would call and ask about everything John had done that day, but refused to talk to him when May would offer. Yoko had closed the door on their relationship, and turned it into a one-way mirror.

VG: With Yoko telephoning daily it must have felt like a third party in the relationship. What was it like for you and John?

MP: The problem was 99% of her calls weren’t “Hello, how are you?” First they were directives to keep our relationship quiet, which was fine with me. Then John ‘announced it to the world’ by kissing me for Time Magazine and crisis mode kicked in. She would call with instructions of what to say, that she had thrown John out. She’d call everyday to remind us of what to say. One drama after another.

VG: Did you and John ever discuss marriage or having children together?

MP: Only when Yoko threatened to divorce him, John told me, “Soon I’ll be a free man…” One thing I learned being with John was to live spur-of-the-moment. There was always some new, unplanned adventure, almost on a daily basis.

VG: Did yours feel like a permanent relationship, or was there always a feeling that John would eventually go back to Yoko?

MP: Sometimes it would feel permanent, but he could be jerked back into Yoko’s mind games very easily. Also, as our relationship began so strangely I suppose it would have had to end just as strange, this was at the point when he was making moves to make a complete break from her. We were about to buy a home in Montauk, John had cemented a closer relationship with Julian as well as with Paul and plans for us to visit him and Linda in New Orleans too.

-May Pang and Viv Goldberg, Beatles Bible [x]

Now I can’t say that the lost weekend is 100% Yoko’s fault, but she went to excessive lengths in order to control it. John cheated on her, and there’s been evidence of her cheating on him as well. This is what happens when you have a relationship founded upon infidelity.

In 1975, Paul convinced Yoko to take John back (funny how that works, or maybe Paul is just a good person), and they had Sean less than a year later.

But wait a minute! Yoko had a daughter too! This is a sad story and could be a factor of sympathy for many readers. What ever happened to her? Her name was Kyoko Chan Cox (raised under the name Ruth Holman) and she was born in 1963 of Yoko’s second marriage. Yoko and her husband Anthony Cox were having trouble with their relationship. They ultimately divorced in 1969. Yoko ended up losing the custody battle and was deemed an unfit mother due to her drug use and mental history. Unfortunately, Cox disappeared with then 8 year old Kyoto during the battle and sadly Yoko didn’t see her again until 1998. 

I feel like I need an entirely new post, or maybe even a book, for Julian. Yoko was very cruel to him. If Julian called their house, not only would she prevent him from talking to John, she would also pretend the phone call had never taken place. When John died, Julian was seventeen years old. There was a very sad article I read awhile ago which explained that when John passed away, Julian and Cynthia were anxious to get to New York to attend his funeral. Yoko initially prohibited either of them from coming, but eventually struck up a deal where Julian was allowed to visit but Cynthia had to stay behind in Wales. Cynthia recalled how worried she was in the airport while she was seeing him off. Her son’s father had just passed away, and she wasn’t able to stay with him to make sure he was okay. I can’t find the article at the moment, but if anyone knows about it please add a link.

Immediately after he passed away, Yoko auctioned many of John’s things to private buyers without offering any of them to Julian. He spent most of his inherited estate buying his father’s possessions back from these buyers, including a postcard he had written to his father when he was a young boy. [x]

Yoko had even withheld Julian’s trust fund for 16 years.

“In the original divorce settlement, Julian was to receive £2,400 a year in maintenance and to inherit a £50,000 trust fund when he was 25. After a long legal wrangle, he secured a further settlement from the estate in 1996, the details of which he is forbidden to discuss. “No,” he says, “I don’t think it was necessarily fair, but I’m OK. The last thing I wanted was a court battle because there’s much more money on the estate side than my side.”

He didn’t much care about the money, he says wearily; it was the principle of the thing. He’s not after a sympathy vote, but what he found really sad was the lack of any personal mementoes, “seeing nothing offered to me at all, having to go out and buy back Dad’s stuff with his money”.

He recently paid £30,373 for the Afghan coat John Lennon wore on the cover of the Magical Mystery Tour album in 1967; £17,246 for a black velvet cape (worn in the Beatles’ film, Help!), and £25,000 for the scribbled notes of the song Hey Jude, written by Paul McCartney for Julian when his parents were splitting up.

-Julian Lennon interview with Elizabeth Grice, 1998 [x]

I think I’ve linked this interview with Julian twice already, but it’s a really great video and you should definitely watch it. [x]

There’s a lot of stuff here, but there’s also a lot more. If I wanted to be short about it I could have just mentioned how Yoko had John calling her “Mother.” With what we know about John and his mother, that nickname made Yoko out to be an invaluable person in his life. 

Okay, I’m pissed so I’m gonna rant.

If I was a new fucking parent, like Briana, I would not be out drinking and partying, not even a month after my baby is born, one, because it could hurt me, as your body still isn’t back to its normal routine, alcohol could damage cells and it could possibly, put you into hospital.

Secondly, if my baby had been born a month ago, I would not go out clubbing and drinking, fuck no, I’m not saying new parents should have no freedom but I’m just saying, getting pissed with my cousin would be the last thing on my mind.

Third, if I was a new father, like Louis, I’m fucking sorry to say this but going out with my girlfriend and smoking and drinking would not be a fucking priority, Louis is a respectful man and he loves children, he has 6 younger siblings for goodness sake, he would not abandon his child like his father did to him, I believe that if this entire thing was real, he would maybe call it off with Danielle for a while until he’s spent at least a couple months with his child.

Forth, again with the Danielle and Louis shit, what kind of father worries about walking around town holding his ‘girlfriends’ hand when his child is in need back at home, I do not believe for a second that Louis would go on about how excited he is and how happy he is to be a dad and then rarely ever see the child because he’s constantly with Danielle.

Fifth, doesn’t it seem strange that not one of louis’ bandmates and best friends have congratulated or seen their 'brothers’ baby, they’ve always said they’ve been as close as brothers, I don’t believe for a second that this billionaire boy band, who are on a 'break’ would not come down to see Louis’ baby and i don’t believe for a second that they wouldn’t address it online.

Sixth, Louis’ family stayed out of this entire thing up until Freddie was born, they didn’t once mention Louis and how 'happy’ he was or about how 'delighted’ they are to have a grandson/nephew, his sisters stayed completely out of it until felicite outed their family and that’s when shit kinda blew up, that’s when Louis posts a pic and Johanna talks about how happy he is.

Seventh, if you ever question whether this is real or not, because it has to be real right? Johanna has addressed it and is completely happy about it, listen, if her son isn’t ready to come out and his contract doesn’t end until March, she’s going to stand by him, no matter what, because it’s her son, she wants to protect him, she’s not going to say 'nope Larry is real, Freddie is fake, guys go home’ because she wouldn’t do that, we don’t know what goes on behind closed doors, maybe louis/Harry are too scared to come out or maybe they aren’t ready or maybe they’re worried it’ll ruin their career, stop tweeting Johanna saying Freddie is fake, expecting her to agree with it because she’s not there to make herself happy, she’s there to stand by her son.

Eighth, do not tell me that Harry fucking styles, who loves children, who is supposedly Louis’ best pal, would have not congratulated Louis or seen and a had picture with him, do not fucking tell me that this wouldn’t happen, because it fucking would, the boys are staying out of this for a reason.

And finally, why would briana’s family choose to, up until late, post fake photos and ask people to post fake photos if it was real, if all of this was real, there would be no need to use other people’s photos, it’d be real, the jungwirths are money hungry fame addicted liars, also, do you really expect me to believe that oli is just around for the fun of it? No, he’s obviously, if the baby is real, got a big part in this, Briana has multiple sex tapes, one of which, Oli is featured in, if, let’s say that this baby is a real child, then I do believe that Oli has some kind of role in its life.

Oh, and a little bonus, put yourself in Louis fucking Tomlinson’s position, a billionaire, a woman tells you she’s pregnant and you’ve possibly seen her once in your life, do not fucking tell me that you’d just accept that news and believe that she’s actually pregnant with your child, do not tell me that he wouldn’t beg for a DNA test, and do not tell me that after being told about this so called baby of yours, you’d willingly pay out all of the money that they’re asking for, no questions asked because quite frankly, that’s a bit fucking fishy to me, he just accepts the fact that some random woman, who he’s seen once is pregnant with his child, no questions asked and he’s just supplying an unhealthy amount of money, no questions asked. fucking bullshit.

I hope that’s cleared it all up for ya.

Since there are so many leaks out there, Jasper’s return was no surprise for me (sadly). Yet this episode was very worthwhile and there are so many things we need to talk about!

Let’s talk about toxic relationships

Malachite was the worst example of fusion, we have seen so far. (If we don’t count the Cluster and gem mutants as real fusion.) As Garnet said at the end of Jail Break: “They [Lapis and Jasper] are really bad for each other”. Jasper more or less forced Lapis into fusing with her and Lapis tricked Jasper to stay fused. Both are victims and offenders at the same time. They’ve hurt each other but yet they have been together for far to long.

The first surprise was that Lapis admitted to Steven (and herself) that she missed Jasper, even though being Malachite was terrible. And when Jasper shows up she falls on her knees and begs Lapis to fuse with her again. Even when Lapis refuses since their past was so horrible Jasper stays persistent.

It happens very often in toxic relationships that the partners involved can’t let go of each other. They might split for a short amount of time but they miss the false security of the relationship and prefer even a abusive one over being alone and feeling weak again. 

“I’ve changed!” Doesn’t that sound familiar? The whole conversation of Lapis and Jasper is a very good example how these things go in real life. False promises are made in toxic relationships too often in order to convince the partner to go back to how things were. (And things were terrible!) If you pay attention, you will see so many red flags in this short talk between Jasper and Lapis.

Let’s talk about consent

This theme seems to appear more often in Steven Universe now. And I can’t stress enough how important that is!!! Especially because it is a kids show. Why should we have to wait to learn about consent until we are teenagers? Do we really have to let these terrible experiences happen to us before we can address them? NO! Kids aren’t dumb and they will understand if you take time to explain. I used to be a huuugggeee Anime fan when I was still a teen but it took me 10 years to realize how dangerous some tropes frequently used in Anime are. Especially when it comes to consent. Very often one person forces another into a kiss in the I-know-you-want-it-too way and usually the other Anime person does want it but you can’t assume that someone wants something, too without asking them! And when they say no you got to respect it instead of forcing yourself onto that person. Even if the person only says no because they are shy, that doesn’t make any difference. There is nothing more awful than being kissed when you are not ready yet - even if you do like the other person. 

Sorry I’m getting off track here. The kissing thing was only an example and I want to point out that I don’t hate Anime and that Anime isn’t a bad thing in general. You can love something and still criticize certain aspects.

Back to Steven Universe. So yeah, consent was totally missing when Jasper and Lapis first fused and stayed Malachite. And now in Alone At Sea consent was missing again, when Jasper wouldn’t stop telling Lapis that they have to form Malachite again. She didn’t take no for an answer and to make things worse, she wanted to take her frustration out on Steven. She even blamed him for Lapis’ lack of cooperation. This shows that Jasper didn’t even listen properly to all the concerns Lapis mentioned. Otherwise she would have understood. But she didn’t want to understand. She wanted Malachite and that was the only thing that mattered.

Let’s talk about fusion

When Lapis admitted that she missed Jasper I wasn’t too surprised - I’ve had a certain theory about fusion for quite a while now. Back in Strong In The Real Way Sugalite went berserk because she stayed fused for too long. You loose yourself in a fusion when don’t separate anymore. Not only that but fusion can be kind of addicting. Amethyst and Pearl are always happy when Garnet wants to fuse with them since they feel so much stronger and secure as a fusion. Pearl even lied to Garnet to trick her into fusion over and over again in Cry For Help. And although Ruby and Sapphire are the best example of a healthy, loving relationship, they have been fused for so long that they can’t take their eyes off each other as soon as Garnets splits apart. The best example for that would be Hit The Diamond.

Keeping all of that in mind it seems to be very logical that both Jasper and Lapis miss being together, even though it was a horrible experience. Malachite was powerful and capable of so much more. And they were together for months, so they got used to each other and their situation in a morbid kind of way.

The difference between Lapis and Jasper is that Lapis recognizes that her feelings of missing Jasper are wrong and unhealthy. That she has to work this out instead of going back. Jasper on the other hand doesn’t care. She just wants to be strong again.

So what did we learn? Being fused for too long changes you. It changes your feelings. It changes the way you think. It is risky if you don’t keep the consequences in mind.

The reason Garnet can deal with it, is that she is a healthy fusion of pure love. But nonetheless Ruby and Sapphire are extremely crazy about each other and I think it is a direct result of being fused non stop, since they weren’t that flirty and easily distracted in The Answer as they were in Hit The Diamond. At least that’s my assumption.

What do you think? 

As Leto plays Chapman, he seems like a child not just in his timidity but in his explosive rages, to say nothing of his unhealthy attachment to a pop star.

KILLER ROLE: Jared Leto said portraying Mark David Chapman in Chapter 27 challenged him. You have to try to understand the human being there, he said. (Anne Cusack / Los Angeles Times)

Jared Leto in ‘Chapter 27’

Sam Adams, Special to The Times

Although he began his career as "My So-Called Life’s" adolescent object of desire, Jared Leto’s work since has been marked by a kind of reverse vanity. The uglier the role, the better.

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There are numerous accounts where Stiles and Peter get along. For pale-weak-defenseless-147-pounds-of-frail-skin-and-fragile-bones Stiles to spend so much time with the psychotic-monstrous-lunatic-who-everyone-hates Peter without the latter killing the former (and not even injuring, ever), it’s a very strange dynamic for the show.

Unfortunately I can not point out all of these instances, but I will do my best to point out the most significant patterns between these two. 

I have three main speculations as to why this strange relationship exists between Stiles and Peter, but first let’s look at the evidence:

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on kent parson

So I’ve seen a lot of “Kent Parson is absolutely abusive and there is no other way to read Parse III and even if you think he was just lashing out it’s still abuse!!” types of posts going around, and that really doesn’t sit right to me but I’ve yet to see any in-depth alternative readings offered, so I’m going to take this opportunity to try and do that.

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Unlimited Ramen
NH Month Day 5

Words: 551

It was a universal truth that Hinata Hyuuga had captured the heart of Uzumaki Naruto in her neat palms.

But it wasn’t until one, particular, incident that Ino and Sakura realised how much of his heart Hinata actually held.

They were strolling to a quiet teahouse during their lunch break and had found Sasuke and Naruto walking together. It wasn’t strange to see constantly bantering on the street at all. Naruto was one of the only people that Sasuke ever frequented with, the others being Kakashi and Sakura.

“Isn’t that Naruto and… Sasuke?” Ino asked, surprised. “I didn’t think that Sasuke walks in direct sunlight.”

“Probably Naruto’s influence,” Sakura tried to explain. “You know how he’s infectious. Since we’re all walking the same direction, we should catch up with them.”

“Good idea,” Ino agreed.

When Ino and Sakura caught up to Naruto, their eyebrows shot up to see the polar opposites in an agreeable conversation. Naruto yelled out a cheery ‘hi guys!’ while Sasuke nodded to them before slinking back into his collar. Polar opposites even in reaction.

And it seemed like they interrupted an important conversation because shortly after, Sasuke mumbled something into his collar.

“Huh? Did you say something, Teme?” Naruto asked.

“… so you’ll think about it?”

“About what?”

Sasuke growled, his hand twitching to hit him. “I just told you, idiot.”

At his blank look, Sasuke let out a sigh. It was refreshing to see that the sigh held no anger, only mild frustration and acceptance. It was slightly comforting for the Uchiha that although time may pass, Naruto will always have a thick head. Not that he’ll ever admit it, though.”

“I said,” Sasuke drew out, “Let’s spar after lunch and then go to Ichiraku’s. I will treat your unhealthy, addiction to ramen as much as you want.”

Sakura and Ino almost fell backwards with shock. They look at each other with their jaws almost touching the floor. An invitation to spar, to unlimited ramen and to socialise from Sasuke?! From Sasuke?!

Naruto snapped out of his shock faster than the rest. “Forgoing your hermit ways, huh?” he teased.

“Just answer already.”

His snappy comment made Naruto laugh.

Today was a momentous day in history. Today was the day hermit extraordinaire, Uchiha Sasuke, willingly extended a hand out to Naruto, endangering the contents his wallet in the process. Surely, Naruto was crying with joy; this is what he has been chasing for ever since they were genin! Uchiha Sasuke was finally socialising! Uchiha Sasuke was finally-

“Hey, I’d love to, Teme,” Naruto grinned at him. “But Hinata’s making ramen tonight and I’d hate to miss that even if it’s for Teuchi’s.”

-getting his offer rejected by Naruto?!

…Naruto rejected Sasuke’s offer of unlimited ramen?

“I’m sure Hinata wouldn’t mind if there’s one more to the party and-Ino and Sakura… are you guys crying?”

Naruto and Sasuke looked panicked at the tear-stricken women. Sakura grabbed a pack of tissues from her purse before offering them to Ino.

“She did it, Ino-pig,” Sakura sniffled. “She finally did it.”

“I’m so happy for Hina-chan.” Ino carefully wiped her teary eyeliner.

“Uhm, are you guys okay?” Naruto almost poked their cheeks. “And what’s this about Hina-chan?”

It was official. Hyuuga Hinata held Naruto’s whole, complete heart in her gentle hands.


A/N: Inspired by a conversation I had with annalovesfiction about Naruto and Sasuke loving each other like Turk and JD. The day Naruto loves Hinata more than Sasuke is the day we bawl our eyes out.

nostalgicphile replied to your post:Imagine if either Gillian or David hosted SNL, and…

Please share two or three of the 50 thousand other things??

Oh, man. Where do I start. 

Well, even just in an SNL context. One thing I want is for Gillian to host (she’s due) and David to be in the audience asking obnoxious questions. And either she has to tersely brush him off, or he’s wearing a fake mustache or something and pretending to be someone else, or pretending to be an X-Files fan (that is a cliche but a reliable one), or, the possibilities are endless. Heck, he could switch out wigs and be a creepy fan of XF, Hannibal, The Fall and her BBC stuff respectively (you know, the Hannibal guy would ask something murdery; the BBC guy you could do some PBS-ish riff about tote bags or something; I don’t know what I’d do for the Fall one, hmm). Or one scenario I have imagined to the last detail in my head considered is, the whole gag is that it’s finally Gillian’s time to host and she’s all doing her thing in the monologue and then David pops onstage and tries to mansplain hosting to her and tell her how it’s done (since he’s done it a couple times) and she gets mad and they get in a big (fake) argument/power struggle about it. This would work much better now that the notion of them not getting along has gone from “actual circumstance that makes everyone sad and uncomfortable” to “hilarious joke that we get the giggles over on a talk show.”

I’m not going to go too deeply into the well of SNL possibilities because I could nerd out all day long. I will say that I DON’T want her/them on the now-apparently-recurring sketch where three people are relating their abduction experiences and for two of them it was beautiful and mysterious and then Kate McKinnon’s is hilariously gross. One, the second installment of that was disappointing and I wish it had been left at just the first one because it was perfect. Two, they are basically out of premises already (they did alien abduction and near-death experience). Three, logically Gillian (or Gillian and David) would go in the straight-man slot where Aidy Bryant is now and that would be boring. Basically, it would be all about Kate McKinnon being hilarious, which is great of course (and generally my favorite thing on SNL these days) but would not be exciting from a GA (or GA/DD) standpoint. 

On the other hand, i would like to see Gillian do the Girlfriends Talk Show sketch with Aidy and Cecily. She could be a mean girl. Or a baby nerd. Or really anything. That would be an example of something that I feel like would let her get funny but not be like, a straight impression or require her to kind of imitate someone else’s character. That’s just one thought. I would also be down to have her parody any/the general vibe of her BBC period stuff. I feel like she has done enough of that stuff that she would nail the fuck out of a spoof of it.

OK, enough SNL. I once posted about stuff I would love to see DD and GA do together outside of XF. All of that still stands – to sum up, my suggestions were basically: gritty drama where they are in an unhealthy/dysfunctional relationship of some kind; modern romcom where they have minor normal-people problems and some kind of familiar relationship like maybe exes; something where they play siblings. 

Basically, what I CRAVE to see them do together is something that has a realism and verité kind of quality. I want them messy, swearing, un-made-up; I want improvised start-and-stop dialogue; I want romantic complications; I want addiction and other difficulty; I want realistic hurt feelings; I want personal failings. I want to see them break out of the XF, as Gillian has taken to tactfully putting it, “formal” model, which not only encompasses CC’s dialogue but also the general mythic-level kind of “hero quest” vibe of that show (which, to clarify, I LOVE, but I want to see them do something that isn’t that). I am DYING to see them do that. When Gillian has a new role, the less campy it is and the more normal-modern-day-human her styling is (and the less they have her playing a stonefaced alpha boss type, which I’m officially tired of yo), the more excited I get. Any kind of precious indie thing that they were in, I would be ecstatic about. (Please no Wes Anderson. Not that kind of indie.) And/or, I kind of want David to write/direct something and cast her in it because I would be fascinated to see what kind of stuff he writes for her/what he sees as her strengths or the kind of character she would be good at playing. So let’s do all of that. 

And like, I would certainly TAKE a sex scene…I’m not saying I WOULDN’T… 👀 👀 👀 but, really I just want to see them act the fuck out of something together that isn’t Mulder and Scully. Just to see how they would do that. As I said in the older post, I think it would be really hard for them (to access their non-XF acting toolkits with each other) and that would be interesting for meeeeeeee. 

Anyway, to get back to the original point of this: It’s not that I DON’T want them to do an I Love Lucy thing, but I don’t personally have a big interest in that show and the general vibe of it is not something I am a particularly huge fan of (confession: I was never a huge lover of that shoot she did that included the Lucy stuff; now it’s everywhere again and I’m like, of all the photoshoots…), so even though I LOVE that she/David/CC are always referencing them as Ricky and Lucy (and I’m dying over “He’s funny, and I’m an idiot”), I like the IDEA of them teaming up to do something push-and-pull/snappy/sparky/funny more than I would be excited about a literal tribute. Also I don’t want David attempting to do a Cuban accent, heh.

anonymous asked:

What'd think of the claims that Lorna/Nicky is an abusive relationship? I mean it defiantly isn't the healthiest but I wouldn't go as far as saying it's that toxic but I'd never want to ignore someone's discomfort either

-rubs hands together- Okay, I’ve been waiting to answer this one until I had finished S4 so I would know everything and would be able to answer this completely and properly. I’ve been thinking about this question a lot since I saw it, because when I did see it, I hadn’t really seen anything on the show that I would imagine being construed as abusive. However, now that I’ve seen the S4 finale, I can kind of see where people would pick up that idea.

It’s a bit confusing though, so this is going to get long, I apologize.

First off, no, it definitely is not the winning article of a healthy relationship by any means. I mean, the obvious reason for that being that they are both criminals in prison. One is a drug addict with a self decrepit personality and the other is a very mentally ill person who is getting no diagnosis or treatment or even acknowledgment that she is not anything other than a straight up stalker. I mean, she IS, but it’s also very evident that she has a mental disorder that is driving that, because she also seems to have a very bad anger management problem that is coupled with it.

Do I think it’s toxic? Not necessarily. Unhealthy, yes, but with all the demons the two have personally as well as being in prison, there never was a chance of it being healthy or normal. However, Nichorello doesn’t really negatively affect anyone. The relationship itself, when not beaten down by the woes of prison life, actually seems to make both characters better. For instance, after the whole thing with Christopher in S2 and the staircase scene when Lorna finally realized that someone understood her and loved her even with her flaws, she seemed to be doing a lot better from what we’ve seen of S3. It was only after Nicky was gone did she retreat back into an unhealthy mental state. It was also after this scene that Nicky finally gave up the heroin she had stashed and while I do believe a majority of the reason for giving it up was for her own health as well as for Red, I do think a little bit of it was for Lorna too. She seems to want to stay off the drugs when Lorna is involved.

Of course, I’m not saying that’s a good thing entirely. Dependency on one person that is not yourself is not healthy, but it does show that the two want and do do better when they’re around each other. 

I also think basing any reasoning behind an abusive relationship from this past season is a bit invalid, because 99% of Nicky’s actions were driven by her drug use and falling off the wagon. For me, she was out of character quite a lot this season. At least, from the Nicky we know and love from the past three seasons and whether that’s bad writing or the drugs or both, I’m not sure.

Any abusive like tendencies that people see as such seem to come from both of the characters’ personal afflictions. Do I think they could work right now? No, absolutely not. But, if Nicky got serious help for her addiction and managed to stay off the drugs and be in a good place mentally and Lorna got help for her mental disorder (like ACTUAL help that’s y’know, helpful) I think they’d have a very fine relationship. They both have personal problems that they need to work out on their own. Nicky shouldn’t even be trying to start something up with Lorna right now because it’s unhealthy to start a relationship so quickly after getting off of drugs, as it develops a dependency that isn’t good for either of them.

Sooooo, in summary, the relationship itself is not toxic or abusive (in my opinion). It’s either characters’ personal problems that are causing the conflict and both need to be sorted properly; not just for the sake of a healthy relationship, but for the sake of a healthy life for both of them separately. It’s obvious to me that if they can work through those trouble of their own, they could work out, because they both show a deep love and attraction toward each other and there is no direct abuse that is coming solely from the relationship. Nicky is not yelling because Lorna won’t give it up to her, Nicky is yelling because Lorna is living in a fantasy that nobody seems to bother trying to tell her is a delusion and Lorna is not crying because Nicky is yelling at her, Lorna is crying because she understands she’s falling back into the pit of everything that happened with Christopher.

It’s not like Vauseman (which, I apologize to Vauseman shippers, I like it when it’s in the hands of the fandom, but not the show), which is very much a toxic relationship. Because Piper is emotionally abusive and tries to control every aspect of that relationship. All that’s coming from Nicky and Lorna is two lost people who both need help, with Nicky being the only person who understands Lorna as well as being self destructive on her own. Nobody is trying to hurt or control the other in this relationship. Nicky tries to help in areas that Morello obviously needs help in and Morello is too buried in her own delusions because nobody (aside from Nicky) tells her the truth, but instead, feeds her fantasies. Morello also doesn’t seem to understand that her parading about with someone else hurts Nicky, because Nicky is too stubborn to admit any feelings (of course that also comes from her undying belief that she is a horrible person and undeserving of love, which they actually BOTH have). For all Morello knows, Nicky just wants to have sex with her, because that’s her wall that she hides behind. That’s another thing they need is a nice little chat where they sit down and discuss where they’re at and how they feel, which I think would sort things out very well if Nicky would open up.

However, if someone is uncomfortable with Nichorello, I totally understand and wouldn’t want to ignore their discomfort either. I don’t have the same opinion, but that’s the whole point of an opinion; people can have different points of view on it. So it’s fine if someone thinks it’s abusive, it’s better than ignoring something that is abusive and lots of people have different triggers. 

But that long ass reply up there is my opinion on the matter <3

drusillathekiller  asked:

How do you feel about the hate Buffy herself has received from some parts of the fandom? I was quite surprised when I joined this fandom to find that there were a vocal minority who disliked or outright hated Buffy (commonly cited reasons being her characterization post season-5 or her being too 'whiny', which surprised me a lot because dying twice, your mother dying, and being forced into a job in which you could literally die at any moment seemed like ample reason to whine imho). :3 xx

i’m always gonna defend buffy til the day i die 

and then i’m gonna come back and haunt the haters!

she is an incredible role model for me and so many people and whilst i dont agree with 100% of her actions and behaviour, i understand them completely and don’t think that it is deserving of hate, there is a difference between not liking something and hating someone

trigger warnings for death, depression, addiction, sexual assault

season 5 buffy was struggling with this huge realisation that her sister wasn’t always her sister and was actually a magical being, her relationship with riley was breaking down, she was questioning herself, and her mother went through a serious illness, only to get better briefly and then die suddenly. buffy’s world was shattered and then when her whole world was ending, suddenly the entire world was ending and she (to throw in a nice quote here) had the weight of the world on her shoulders and she made the incredible decision to sacrifice herself to save her sister, her friends, and the rest of the world

then buffy was in heaven where she had finally found some form of peace (and she probably saw her mum again i’m gonna cry)  and then she was ripped out of there and had to dig herself out of her grave and readjust to the harsh reality of life. adjusting to adult life and the guardianship of her sister and having to get a job just is enough to make anyone want to give up but add onto that, the role and life of a slayer and the incredible responsibility of that - buffy was very clearly struggling with depression (and it was written so realistically that so many people can see themselves in buffy’s struggle). i think buffy’s relationship with spike (in s6) was unhealthy but i understand why the relationship started. so if we add this relationship into the equation, combined with her father figure leaving, her sister going through her own struggles and may even be taken from buffy, one of her best friend’s relationships ending in a horrible way and destroying that hope she had for love, and another best friend struggling with a magic addiction that is becoming increasingly dangerous, oh and to make things worse buffy has to suffer an attempted sexual assault and then buffy is shot, and her good friend killed in cold blood, causing her best friend to go over the edge and she doesnt even have time to process everything that is happening and is now faced with having to save the world again and doesnt know if doing so will result in the death of her best friend

in the final season, buffy is given this extra huge responsibility of protecting the entire slayer line. suddenly there are so many people looking to her for guidance and protection when she herself is only just recovering. and of course the impending threat of the end of the world puts strains on all of the relationships/friendships in the show and buffy may push people away to some extent but i understand why she does it, season 7 is a very personal fight as it is a direct attack on the slayer line and only buffy (and faith towards the end of s7) can truly understand. buffy is just completely overwhelmed and tired but has to remain strong, and of course the armour is going to crack at this point as soon as any pressure is put on her. she is only human. so she puts on this extra hard exterior because she knows that’s the only way to win this fight but underneath she is incredibly scared but can’t let that show. 

so all i can say to anyone that thinks buffy deserves hate: if you went through just one of these things, i think that would be enough to make you get into your bed and not want to even get out and face the world, and for buffy to experience those incredible hardships externally and then go through so many struggles internally,  and survive, is incredible

that little smile at the end of chosen is everything to me and i am so proud she made it