this is joke alright

You guys need to stop portraying Nico as ready to murder anyone at any time like it’s some kind of joke to him. He’s a son of Hades who lost his sister. I really don’t think other people’s death are that funny to him.

I wonder if Marinette ever thinks about Chat Noir throughout the day.

Not in a romantic way or anything, but she’s looking out the window in class one day and she’s imagining what Chat Noir might be up to, or it’s raining and cold and she wonders if he’s doing alright, or she hears a stupid joke and thinks “Chat Noir would laugh at that” (bonus points if it’s Adrien telling the joke) and so on.

He’s her partner and friend. She should think about him sometimes, yeah?

2
  • Scorpios
  • Both don’t mind spiders
  • Both fucking hate clowns but also both love seeing clowns hurt other people
  • Both play D&D
  • Both have a sibling with the same starsign as them (Travis & Aranea)
  • Both have killed an Aries at least once (Griffin & Aradia)
  • Both are definitely 100% on the chaotic alignment 
  • Literally the same person

elementary school: [laughing hysterically whenever someone says ‘booby’]

middle school: Boob/dick jokes aren’t funny, don’t be so immature. :/

majority of high school: alright i guess that was a little funny

now: [POINTING AT BOOK] h  O O,,,,,,, TH E TEXT  SAY  S ..,, , ,,,, , .,,., BREAS T,,,,,,,,, ,,, [WHEEZING] [CHOKING ] TITY,,, IT SAYS ,,., TI TY

  • us: hey, uh, staff? porn bots keep following me and reblogging my personal posts and selfies, which makes me really uncomfortable and could potentially trigger some people. can you maybe do something about it?
  • staff:
  • staff: lol
  • staff: here's a little pixel horse
reality

my body fakes a smile so everyone thinks i’m fine
i’ll even laugh once in a while too
but even with this fake façade and persona that i play
i’m not getting better and im not okay

i cry at night because i’m too deep in my thoughts
and i’m a hypocrite for telling people that they shouldn’t cry
i’m so bent on helping others that i can’t help myself
my mental state is broken and my world is shattering in front of me

and to those i talk to and hang out with
i’m sorry i’m not fun
i’m normally just thinking of the worse that’s yet to come
or what tonight’s miserable thought will be

i haven’t been happy in months and i don’t know what it’s like
being genuinely okay doesn’t seem right
and even if something good happens i’m too sad to care
i may talk about it like i’m happy but i’m actually just scared

i’m an antisocial mess with a extrovert life
talking to everyone that knows me
and making them perceive i’m alright
and when i make a joke about how sad i am
that’s me saying what’s wrong and i hope you listen

If Harry was 17 in 1998 (battle of hogwarts)
He was born in 1981. The twins were in their second year when charlie was in his last. Meaning Charlie was born in 1974. Tonks was born in the same year. We don’t know the exact ages of James & Lily when they died. Assuming they married and had Harry right out of hogwarts, they would have been born 1963.

That means that Tonks was born the same year that Sirius started at hogwarts.
But imagine Sirius getting letters from Andromeda telling him it’s okay, she heard he was sorted into gryffindor. Andromeda asking little Sirius if he wants photos of his little baby cousin.

Sirius putting up a joking facade that he’s alright with being gryffindor when actually he’s down right terrified of going home. But little tonks seems to make it all better.

Getting little letters of encouragement from andromeda that he’ll be able to make it through because honestly, I can’t see Sirius opening up about his deepest fears to someone he’s just met, no matter how close of a friend they’ll be later on.

Just imagine Sirius loving tonks with every little bit of him. 3 year old tonks barely being able to write sending a crayon letter to Sirius at hogwarts that he doesn’t let anyone else read. He hangs up the little drawing tonks did of her and snuffles, his animagus.

Tonks never believing that her hero, his amazing, clever, funny cousin Sirius could kill his best friend and kicking up a fuss when anyone said he did (cmon she would have been a spunky little 8 year old).

Sirius being the reason Tonks became an auror.

My Personal Pain Reliever | Zach Dempsey x Reader

Genre: Romance, Fluff
POV: Reader’s/First Person

A/N: Hi everyone! This was requested by anon. I’m sorry it isn’t my usual lengthy write-up but I just decided to keep this short and sweet tbh. I hope you guys still like it though! Enjoy!

Request: Hi can I ask for a Zach x reader where Zach finds out the reader’s on her period? He gets flustered and googles what to do… thanks :)

—–

“Babe, I can’t go to the game today, I’m so sorry. I’m having really bad period pains and the slightest movement would cause the most excruciating pain you can ever imagine.” I tell Zach over the phone. It was their big game today and it sucked that I couldn’t be there to support him.

“Wh-what?” Zach mumbles on the other line, I can imagine him scratching his head, with his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. The thought itself made me shake my head and smile.

“I’m on my period Zachary, you know the 3-5 days females bleed from down south?” I ask while I’m curled up into a ball on my bed.

“N-no, y-yeah, I know what a period is, no.” he stutters and I giggle at him.

“I’m really sorry baby, I promise I’ll make it up to you soon. I won’t miss another game, ever. I’m sorry.” I say, I can hear him sigh from the other line which broke my heart.

“It’s okay babe, don’t worry. As long as you get some rest, that’s what matters.” he answers but I can still hear the disappointment in his voice.

“Good luck Zachary. Do your best okay?” I reply softly.

“I will Y/N. Feel better soon baby.” he says and we both bid goodbye to each other.

After ending the call, I suddenly realize why Zach was acting so flustered while we were talking. It has only been about a month ever since we started officially dating and this is actually the first time that this has happened since. I smile at the thought of him being so confused and worried at the same time. A couple of minutes later and the pain on my stomach causes me to doze off.

—–

Later that day

I hear a faint knock on my door which makes my eyes flutter open. However, I just couldn’t bring myself to move an inch. Luckily, I heard the door creak open before I even had to prepare myself to get up. To my surpise, a pouting Zach Dempsey comes in and places a couple of bags on my desk before walking over to my bed and leaning above me.

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the half-blood prince is literally the funniest movie out of all of them because:

1. harry with the pincers 

2. cormac throwing up all over snapes shoes  

3. hermione telling off lavender in the hospital wing 

4. harry with the felix felicis in general 

5. THE PINCERS 

6. “how much for this?” “5 galleons” “how much for me?” “5 galleons” “i’m your brother.” “10 galleons

7. “why is it when something happens, its always you three?” “believe me, professor, i’ve been asking myself the same question for 6 years.” 

8. “who’s harry potter?” “oh, no one. bit of a tosser really” 

8. did i mention the PINCERS YET 

9. “she’s only interested in you because she thinks you’re the chosen one” “but i am the chosen one*gets hit with newspaper* “ok sorry, kidding

10. “it’s no joke! i’m in love with her.” “alright fine, you’re in love with her. have you actually met her?” “no….can you introduce me?

3

Alright, again, this is a joke… Matt in fanon is so confusing to me because i feel like matt is a little of each of these… 

Well.. maybe not all but.. 

Anyways, I’m guilty this time… I’m guilty for shoulder flaps matt, tall boi matt and kind matt. But I usually stick with actual canon matt. 

Tag yourself if you’re guilty! 

It was fun, guys. But these posts must come to an end. So I present to you.. The finale. The many fanons of Matt. 

Dear @markiplier ,

You talk about respect on a basic level.
“Treat people the way you want to be treated.”
That disagreeing with someone is immediately hating that person. Maybe in some situations it is.

You do not need to treat people with respect.
They should be treated with civility. And even then, it is not a required thing.

I understand that you, in your non-Jewish way, do not think that Felix is an anti-Semitic person. But what he has done has Made Him one. If he did not make such jokes, he’d just be a person.

We all are equal. You said it yourself.
But making jokes that normalise the hatred and killing of an Entire Group is making that group, unequal. Lesser. It normalises such thoughts. People begin to have them unjokingly.

I’m not a Jewish person either Mark. I have, in the past, make Nazi jokes. And now, years later, I know in myself that is wrong. That they are unfunny. I have known this for years now. I am only 18 recently.
Felix is 27 years old.

You talk about respect? What about the THOUSANDS of people who have asked before, “Please. Stop making these jokes. The normalisation of bad ideals, even jokingly. It is hurting us. It is killing us. It has killed us. Please stop.”

Mark, I have watched you now, for about two years. And I’ve seen some personal growth in you, and you’ve made my days brighter.
But this is something,, that I have to talk about.

You are wrong. You are saying, not that “we should be good to each other”. No.
You are telling my Jewish best friend, you are telling my trans friends, you are telling my black-and-white, biracial self:
“People who think you should die, or that you are deserving of hurt, deserve respect.”

Mark. Please. You have to listen to yourself.
Just because you are friends with Felix does not mean you can just turn a blind eye to the horrid thing he has done.

If someone, while I was out at the store with my family, told me that “all niggers should die,” you want me. A young biracial woman who is afraid for her and her family’s lives. To respect a person who wishes harm to me and millions of others.
And if that same someone then proceeds to laugh it off. You want me to take such a thing lightly. Because “they deserve my respect.”
They do not.

People who joke about “fucking queers”. You want me to respect them.
People who have turned my existence on this earth into a joke.
People who say hurtful things. But it’s fine, “it’s just a joke.”

I won’t. I can’t.

You are, to my knowledge, a straight, cisgender, non-Jewish or Muslim or Hindu or other minority religion man.
At most, you know racism. And a differing version than myself.

You cannot tell a group of people who have been deeply cut by the actions of your friend to “respect him”.
He has done something that has disrespected and hurt them. He doesn’t deserve anything from them, not anymore.

If someone continuously made horrid jokes about how “all Koreans should die”, or that “they’re all like Kim Jong Il” would you respect that person, and their opinion?
Do you respect the people that say @/peebles should die because she’s dating you?

I’m trying to relate this to you so you can understand.

These people are rightfully angry. And their angry messages are justified.
I’m begging you to understand.

You said you have advocate the treatment of EVERYONE as an equal.
But I don’t. They don’t. We don’t. Have to treat people who joke about taking lives with respect. Nobody has said they’re inhuman. But they aren’t worthy of our concern after saying such (an) inhuman thing(s).

“Treat people the way you want to be treated”, you said. Maybe, large platform holders such as Felix should learn that. He has. Abused a large group of people with hateful speech.
How can stand by that like there is no problem.
I know you said you don’t condone his actions.
But there are plenty of men who say they don’t condone the harassment of women, who stand by and say nothing when their friend does that exact thing.
There are tons of people who say they don’t hate gay and/or trans people, yet stand idle as their friends say horrid things about them, “jokingly” or not.
There are lots of people who say they don’t hate black people, they have a black friend. And yet, never speak up while their white friends make jokes and say things that make their black “friend” uncomfortable.
And now there’s you. Not talking to Felix about his disgusting behaviour, but sending out an upset message to the People Who Are Rightfully Upset. To the people who feel betrayed.

Felix has sent out a message to his, what over 40mil fans, that making awful jokes, or Actually Believing such things is an alright thing to do.
How are you not outraged? And not with those upset people. With Felix.

Is it worse to you, really, to lose a friend than to stand for the right to feel safe of millions of people?
Really?

Callout for Luci @Lucisev

Luci has previously gone by the urls “terfs”, “makinishiqino”, “butterflymask”, “aetheir”, and most likely several others that I’m forgetting. Luci has had several callouts in the past, however most were over stuff like kin drama, with the last real valid callout being from over a year ago.

To start, I’d like to give a brief run down of my history with Luci. I’ve been mutuals with her since around summer 2015, however I knew nothing about her and only started talking to her in December. We spoke a few times, but didn’t become too close. Around the start of 2016 she left Tumblr and moved to twitter. In April, she came back, and after talking to her for only a few days, we rushed into a relationship. We dated from early April to mid December, with a temporary breakup in the middle of November. After we broke up, we stayed friends until I started dating someone else, just before new years, at which point things started going downhill. On January 14th I had decided it was best for me to cut all contact with Luci, so I did.

Because there’s a lot of stuff to go over, I will be posting screenshots that have several parts to a second blog, @lucicourse, to prevent this from getting overly cluttered. The link to a set of screenshots will be posted where it is relevant.

For reference, I would like to state that I’m referred to by 3 separate names throughout this, being Severa, Nico, and Weiss, as well as the nickname Sevvy. Me and Luci occasionally refer to Nowi as Ruby as well. 

Before we begin I feel that a few disclaimers are in place. To start, There are already several callout posts floating around for Luci. I do not want to be approached about those. Most attack her for petty stuff like kin drama, and I do not want people trying to compare stuff like that to the actual gross shit she’s done. I will not be addressing anything that has already been discussed in those callout posts.

As for the second disclaimer, I would like to note that I didn’t have any desire to stay in a relationship with Luci, or even really be friends with her, from around July onward. Any replies to her messages that I include in this callout are purely me trying to diffuse a situation with her, as admittedly having seen the way she acted towards others, she frightened me, and I also feared she would do serious harm to herself, so I felt obligated to stay with her.

The third disclaimer is that I do not want anyone making any jokes about the stuff Luci says in the sexual harassment section. I’m unsure whether Wander’s victims are alright with jokes about his stuff, because I’ve seen conflicting information. However. I do not want anyone turning the sexual things Luci has said to me into a joke. If I see you doing so, you will be blocked.

The final disclaimer is that, in the spirit of being entirely honest, I will be including the things that might put Nowi and I in a bad light. I want everyone to form a well developed, informed, opinion, and I don’t intend to bias this information.

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Preference "When they finger you under the table during a group dinner" (NSFW)

(Sorry I only did the dudes…I didn’t want this to take too long to write…But i promise i’ll the the other way around for the girls soon :) but in the meanwhile 😏😏😏YAAAAAASS OUR FAVS!!! Hope it is as requested and you all like it :3 Gifs not mine/found them on google/credits to the original owners.)

Negan-He’d start to finger you under the table as everyone would get quiet and be too busy focusing on eating. It wouldn’t matter to him as to what you were wearing, his fingers would find its way into your folds and he’d have his fun teasing you, making sure that you’d have to stifle your moans all while he just looks at you with a smirk. He’d get off hearing all the sounds coming from you and from looking at you struggle and grip onto the the table cloth, all while practically praying that someone catches you both. “Can’t take it anymore, Y/N? Want me to make you come? With everyone around the table? Come on, scream it and i’ll fucking make it happen…”

Daryl-He’d be shy about touching you in public but on an occasion he got jealous hearing you talk so much more to the others than to him, that he’d decide to remind you of you belonged to. He’d try his best to be subtle but his frustration would seem to show a little as his hand would quickly delve into your panties. Before you could ask him anything, he’d have you in pure pleasure and slowly he himself would forget about the others around as his eyes would be glued on you, only to whisper words to make you weak. “You’re mine, Y/N…Remember that…Ain’t no one can touch you like this but me…”

Rick-Seeing how you were dressed for the dinner, he’d be so turned on during it and wouldn’t be able to keep his hands off of you. While everyone talks and eats together, he’d try to keep your attention to him and suddenly he’d just slide his hand to your thigh to start pleasuring you. As his fingers would go in and out, he’d chuckle to look at you squirming. The urge for it to be even more interesting would come to him, so he’d ask you loudly if you were fine, only for everyone to stop and for him to smirk. “Y/N?! A-are you okay, honey? You look like you have something on your mind, care to share with us?”

Merle-He’d have the idea of fingering you under the dinner table whenever you would rather pay attention to someone else other than him. He’d distract you from your conversation as his fingers would start to pleasure you and give you no other choice but to stop talking for a little while. No matter how hard you’d concentrate on anything else, he’d eye from the corner with a smirk and go harder and harder to the point where others notice and ask you if you’re alright, only for him to answer them in your place. “Y/N? Of course she’s fine…She’s just talking to me like a good babygirl does…Am I right, Y/N?”

Glenn-He’d get the idea to pleasure you as you’d both flirt at the dinner table a little too much. As your little talk would get rather dirty, he’d get confident enough to just put his hand on your thigh and let you know of his idea, waiting until the give him a sign to let him. As you would, he wouldn’t be able to stop smiling and just spend his time giving you an unforgettable time. He’d tease you with his words and chuckle, only for you to try and stifle your moans. “I can’t believe you’re such a dirty little girl, Y/N…Oh my god…You’re so wet…Imagine if the others hear you…”

The Governor-As you both got ready for dinner he would’ve already have the urge to have you but you’d deny him to not be late and leave, making him decide to have his way with you. As you’d sit next to him, he’d glare at you and keep quiet whenever you would ask him something, only to suddenly feel his hand on your thigh, lifting your skirt away. Before you could say anything, his gaze and touch would keep you still and he’d have his fun with you just as he wanted earlier. “See Y/N…This is what you get for playing around with me earlier…Not as fun when you have to hold in your voice…”

Abraham-As you’d tease and flirt with him a little too much, distracting him from his conversation with the others, he’d smirk and start to casually finger you to put a stop to your whole act. He’d know the exact way to make you weak and try to be on your best behavior. He’d go as slowly as he can, circling you around to keep you on the edge, all while talking to the others, to distract them from you that is until you’d let your voice out a little. “Y/N…Cut it out sweetheart…I can hear you…and if I can hear you there’s a big chance they can too…”

Eugene-He’d only get the idea of doing it after you had suggested and hinted that you absolutely wanted him to do so a number of times. He’d be so nervous about it that he’d keep his eyes on everyone until he knows for sure no one is paying attention to neither of you. As his hand would travel on your thigh, you’d feel him shake and that’s when you’d grab his wrist to guide him to where you need him to pleasure you. Gradually, he’d get better, making you hold onto him to keep in your voice, all while he manages to keep a straight face.

Jesus-As you’d sit next to him, he’d notice how you seemed a little down during the dinner and he’d try to cheer you up as best as he can with his topics of conversations. As you’d still be relatively quiet, that’s when he’d decide to flirt and tease you by whispering in your ear about his plans for later and slide his hand up your thigh. Before you know it, you’d get turned on by his ideas and even more as his fingers skillfully enters you and circles you bringing you all the pleasures. “Don’t look so down, Y/N…I’m just trying to make you smile a little…Is it working? Or should i go harder?”

Dwight-Seeing how provocatively you’d dress up for the evening, he’d whisper in your ear an order to not wear any panties for the night before leaving to go join the others. As you’d sit close to him, he’d catch you off guard while in your conversation and slide his hand up your thigh as he gets closer to your ear, asking you if you did just as he asked. Feeling your wetness, he’d smirk and start to rub you just as you liked before skillfully entering his fingers in, making you try your best to not get caught. “Did you take it off, just as I asked you? Good…Let’s see how much you can take before you beg me to leave the place and finish you off…”

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really wanna come and get that

pairing: daveed diggs x reader

request: A Daveed x Reader, smut it up babe, reader really likes DAVEED but is afraid to tell him even though they flirt all the time she feels she isn’t hot enough for DAVEED? Like he hangs with so many hot girls, why would he like her? Then surprise take it from there. Make that reader feel good as FUCK.

summary: reader is crushing hardcore on daveed, but is quiet about it because she’s sure she has no chance, especially when compared to the other girls in the show/he hangs out with

warnings: NSFW!! alcohol, smut, self-doubt, dirty talk, bondage, D/S (whos surprised no one is), mentions of breath-play and face fucking, just so much dirty talk i don’t know what else u want from me

word count: 5,859 (wow im extra)

a/n: I AM BAAAAAACK. renee fic is next, just needed some daveed to get back into the swing of things. hope i’m not too rusty ;) lemme know what you think and all that shiiiiiit. title from clipping’s ‘hot fuck no love’ (HAPPY HOLIDAY)

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