this is how you noodle

whovianerisa  asked:

Hello Mr gaiman. How old were you when you started writing stories ? I'm 14 and I try and try but they are all awful. I always give up in the middle and I can never finish what I wanted to write.

I know. I found a pile of papers of mine from my teen years and into my early twenties recently, and there were so many stories begun, so many first pages of novels never written. I’d start them, and then I’d give up because they weren’t as brilliant as Ursula K Le Guin, or Roger Zelazny, or Samuel R Delany, and anyway I wasn’t actually sure what happened next.

I was around 22 when I started finishing things. They weren’t actually very good, and they all sounded like other people, but the finishing was the important bit. I kept going. A dozen stories and a book, and then I sold one (it wasn’t very good, and I had to cut it from 8,000 words to 4,000 to sell it, but I sold it). I probably wrote another half-dozen stories over the next year, and sold three. But now they were starting to sound like me. 

Think of it this way: if you wanted to become a juggler, or a painter, you wouldn’t start jugggling, drop something and give up because you couldn’t juggle broken bottles like Penn Jillette, or start a few paintings then give up because the thing in your head was better than what your hands were getting onto the paper. You carry on. You learn. You drop things. You learn about form and shape and shade and colour and how to draw hands without the fingers looking like noodles. You finish things, learn from what you got right and what you got wrong, and then you do the next thing.


And one day you realise you got good. It takes as long as it takes. So keep writing. And all you need to do right now is try to finish things.

Ride over the clouds ☆゚.*・。゚

Process

Dad Pun Sentence Starters

Send one to my Muse, or alternatively send  👍and my Muse will say one to you!

“What time did the man go to the dentist? Tooth hurt-y.”
“Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he made a mint.”
“A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer. Bartender says, ‘Sorry we don’t serve food here.’”
“Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water? Because he was a little horse!”
“How do you make a Kleenex dance? Put a little boogie in it!”
“Two peanuts were walking down the street. One was a salted.”
“I used to have a job at a calendar factory but I got the sack because I took a couple of days off.”
“How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.”
“Two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks.”
“'Wow, you’re a fart smella…I mean smart fella!”
“I had a dream that I was a muffler last night. I woke up exhausted!”
“What’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1”
“Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.”
“What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.”
“How many apples grow on a tree? All of them.”
“Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.”
“I just watched a program about beavers. It was the best dam program I’ve ever seen.”
“Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.”
“How does a penguin build it’s house? Igloos it together.”
“Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.”
“Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating? Because they have no body to go with.”
“Don’t call me later, call me Dad.”
“What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter? An irrelephant”
“Want to hear a joke about construction? I’m still working on it.”
“What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho Cheese.”
“Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired.”
“What did the grape do when he got stepped on? He let out a little wine.”
“I wouldn’t buy anything with velcro. It’s a total rip-off.”
“The shovel was a ground-breaking invention.”
“This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be dying to get in there.”
“5/4 of people admit that they’re bad with fractions.”
“Two goldfish are in a tank. One says to the other, "do you know how to drive this thing?”“
"What do you call a man with a rubber toe? Roberto.”
“What do you call a fat psychic? A four-chin teller.”
“I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.”
“To the man in the wheelchair that stole my camouflage jacket… You can hide but you can’t run.”
“The rotation of earth really makes my day.”
“I thought about going on an all-almond diet. But that’s just nuts.”
“What’s brown and sticky? A stick.”
“I’ve never gone to a gun range before. I decided to give it a shot!”
“Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? Because they’re so good at it.”
“Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It’s fine, he woke up.”
“A furniture store keeps calling me. All I wanted was one night stand.”
“I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.”
“Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels over head.”
“I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport. I’m just doing it for kicks.”
“People don’t like having to bend over to get their drinks. We really need to raise the bar.”

2

Can we all just remember that Dirk canonically tried to cook something in Todd’s apartment, and ends up making something that was totally unrecognisable, and that Todd was frankly too scared to eat

No one at the watchpoint needs to be able to identify which one of hanzos dragons is which when mccree is around. Theres just the one not hissing at jesse everytime hes in the same room and the one that is.

Genji still doesnt let jesse live down the fact the first time he saw hanzos dragons in the flesh he threw his boot at one and neither does the dragon in question.

Its been four months and hanzo has only just managed to convince his spirit dragons to stop static shocking his boyfriend when theyre getting it on.

He made it pretty clear any other time is free game though so jesse is very careful when he gets a shower, sometimes centuries old spirits forget that not everyone is a century old spirit.

anonymous asked:

RFA reacting to MC having an "accident" in the middle of the night cause Aunt Flo is here./ RFA when It's MC's "time of the month"

Anonymous said:
I already made a request last night but, I realized it’s similar to another one. The severe period pain one? By that I mean, Mc is like groaning in pain on the couch and unable to move from the pain. Btw can it be RFA +V and Saeran. I’m like withering in pain and tbh I feel like this will make me feel better lmao. Also, I like went through nearly your entire profile. Tis amaze.

Anonymous said:
Ohm. This is a weird request but meh. Do you think you could to a reaction from the RFA + V and Saeran to MC having horrible period pains? So bad that it hurts to stand? Cause like, it happens.


So these are actually some of the latest requests, but this just seemed easier to write, so I finished this as soon as I could to get some content out. Still, it’s almost two weeks late despite that. Our inbox is rotting. Imsosorry ivebeenbusy x.x

BUT ANYWAY! I hope this will suffice? It might not be quite what you guys asked, but I tried ^~^

(had also planned to be for @serensama )

–R.I.


MC on Her Time of the Month

Yoosung

  • Text Message Received. “Hey, I can’t come to the beach today, sorry… >_< It’s that time of the month, so I can’t swim…”
  • He’s never had a girlfriend before. He’s completely clueless when you suddenly cancel on the beach date you’d been planning for days! You’d both been so busy, today was the one day you could actually meet up :C
  • -insert sad Yoosung boyfriend-
  • Instead, he decides to visit, anxiously worrying if you were feeling sick. (his mother makes him bring you some chicken noodle soup, lecturing him about how it was only respectful lololol cmon we all know she would)
  • Hm. You didn’t look feverish, and you weren’t coughing or anything… The only weird thing was how you sat in your chair all curled up into a ball. Curious, he decides to ask you about it, “So uhm, MC… why did you cancel today?”
  • Immediately, your cheeks flush slightly. Didn’t he understand from your text…? With a wry smile on your face, you eventually explained, “Weeeell, I’m on my period… And the cramps have been really bad so far. I can hardly stand. I didn’t want to ruin our date by lying down every five minutes in an attempt to tolerate the pain.”
  • The colour drains from his face.
  • “OH MY GOD MC, ARE YOU OKAY?! NO, NEVER MIND, OF COURSE NOT. L-look, you shouldn’t be sitting here with me if it’s that bad, go back to bed right now and I will make you an omelette because you need good nutrition and rest so pleasepleaseplease go lie down,” he babbles, panic filling his features as he desperately pushes you to your room.
  • He ends up cooking in your kitchen while you bundled up in your blankets, trying to fight off the pain somehow.
  • Brings the omelette to your bed so you don’t have to walk around
  • You fail in holding back a big smile as you look at the beach umbrella drawn in ketchup. (Everytime he made you an omelette, he made sure to draw something different)
  • “I-it’s to represent that we should go to the beach when you feel better,” he sheepishly explained, red tinting his cheeks.
  • Your phone suddenly vibrated, indicating a notification came through. You glanced briefly at your phone before WHIPPING YOUR HEAD to re-read the message
  • Seven: lololol I guess he really wants to see you in a bikini!! What a perverted boy  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Zen

  • You’d been lazily cuddling together in the morning upon waking up after a…. good night together. He’s whispering sweet nothings into your ear, running his fingers over your body… down your back… over your butt… then he stops, a flicker of confusion in his eyes.
  • He suddenly breaks his hold on you, sitting up and lifting the blanket off your bodies. Zen’s eyes seem to be peeled to your legs, or something…
  • You watch him in a half-asleep state, what was he doing so early in the morning? You yawn, stretching slightl- !!!
  • A sharp pain shoots through your lower stomach and you hiss as you clutch at it. What the…?
  • As you roll around the bed, you feel a slight wetness on the bedsheets. Oh. Uh-oh.
  • You heave a sigh, closing your eyes as dread overwhelms you. “Pleeease tell me it’s not what I think it is,” you groan, pulling a pillow over your head. “I’m so sorry for ruining the bed, ugh…”
  • Zen’s eyes soften, sympathy flashing in them. “Honey, it’s okay, it happens,” he says, offering a sweet smile. “I’ll take care of it, okay? Do what you need to, and when you’re done, I’ll go get our breakfast. Don’t worry about anything.”
  • He plants a light kiss on your forehead, gazing gently into your eyes.
  • In mere minutes, he removes and replaces the bedsheets, throws them in the laundry, and heads out to buy some food. You wait anxiously on the bed, groaning as your cramps caused continuous, throbbing pain.
  • “Zeeeen,” you whimper, as if it would make him come back faster.  
  • The front door opens, and you can see that Zen has returned with crepes, cake and hot chocolate in hand. He quickly rushes to your side as he hears your whimpering, stroking your hand as he checks to make sure you’re okay.
  • “I’ve heard that chocolate is supposed to help with cramps,” he says unsurely, holding up the hot chocolate. “And I also got some sweets. I know it’s not a proper breakfast, but I know you love these things around this time of the month. So let me spoil you on days like this, babe.”
  • Despite the lightning bolts of pain you were feeling, you managed to smile from your balled up position, weakly squeezing his hand as a sign of acknowledgment. “I love you, Zenny,” you mumble.

Jaehee

  • From the beginning, she had been aware that you got severe period cramps, and prepared numerous remedies and reliefs.
  • Whenever she noticed that it was nearing your time of the month, she would make you drink water with brown sugar dissolved into them, which was supposed to relax your muscles and make your cramps hurt less.
  • But one day, before your period came, you began to cramp up really badly. Unfortunately, you were still at work, so you had to continue taking orders and serving the customers despite the pain. You couldn’t let Jaehee down, after all.
  • But after doing it for a while, you were sweating profusely, your mouth watering with excess saliva. Your cheeks were flushed, and your legs were beginning to give out.
  • From behind the counter, Jaehee noticed your odd state, and realized immediately what was going on. She dashes out to guide you into the employee room, bringing you a mug of chamomile tea and chocolate cake.
  • “MC, you should’ve told me earlier if you weren’t feeling well!” she scolds you, glaring at you. But her eyes are soft with worry, although she was trying to express her anger.
  • You smile weakly, having no excuse to offer.
  • Her worry morphs into guilt. “I should have given you the day off… I knew that your time of the month was coming soon, I shouldn’t have made you work. I’m really sorry, MC.” She runs a hand through her hair in frustration, ashamed in herself.
  • “But you take such good care of me, I only want to repay you…” you argue softly, furrowing your eyebrows.
  • Your words bring a small smile to her face. “Silly. You’re the one who takes care of me. You’re always considering my feelings, even when I don’t. I can only be so happy thanks to you.”
  • Another shot of pain makes you wince, and you bring your knees to your chest, in an attempt to ease the pain. “Nng… thanks, Jaehee, but I just need to… rest for now,” you managed to say. “Go back to the counter… customers are waiting.”
  • She flicks your forehead lightly. “Silly. I’m going to stay with you of course. I’ll just close the shop. It’s one of the perks of being the owner. Let me take advantage of it, okay?”
  • And so, you end up going home, cuddling together on the bed as you suffered through your monthly hell. At least you had an angel beside you.

Jumin

  • The two of you usually spent your nights together, but you suddenly asked to stay in a separate room one night. A bit disheartened, Jumin inquired you as to why you requested this, and you sighed, begrudgingly explaining what Mother Nature made you go through.
  • “Is that why you couldn’t sleep last night?” he frowned, his thumb gently stroking your cheek.
  • Your head shot up in surprise. “You knew?”
  • “I know everything, my love. You were groaning, tossing and turning the entire night… I couldn’t even hug you properly.”
  • “It’s not my fault it hurts so much!” you protest.
  • “I also had the maids wash the bedsheets, after noticing it had been dirtied. I hope you don’t mind.”
  • Erk, that was embarrassing. It was only the maids, but you suddenly felt like the whole world knew you were bleeding out of your vagina now. Seriously, Jumin could’ve kept quiet about that part. Now you felt mildly uncomfortable.
  • Jumin continued, “It’s okay. Get some rest, okay? You probably didn’t sleep a wink last night. I have a meeting today, but I’ll try to come home as soon as I can. I hope Elizabeth 3rd will suffice as company til then… Is there anything you would like me to bring back while I’m out?”
  • “Not really…” you mutter, cheeks still red.
  • Jumin raised an eyebrow, dubious.
  • “Okay, fine. Yeah, can I get some pizza? That one we had last time, where the crust was perfectly crispy and topped with that fancy stuff you ordered.”
  • He chuckles, kissing your forehead softly. “I knew you’d give in. And don’t worry so much about it being your time of the month. This is nothing to be embarrassed about, compared to your loud screams at night…”
  • SMACK!

Seven/Saeyoung

  • The moment he heard your first whimpers he KNOCKED DOWN YOUR DOOR
  • “Honey?! What’s wrong!!” he panicked, throwing the covers off your bed to inspect you
  • You were curled up, rocking gently side-to-side as you quietly cried, the tears gathering in the corners of your eyes
  • “Saeyoungggg… Mother Nature’s killing me again,” you sniffled, trying to deal with the pain
  • “W-w-what do I do?” he stammered, cheeks flushing as he was unfamiliar with women’s monthly pains. He wanted to help, but he really had no idea.
  • But you couldn’t even answer, groaning as the next wave of pain hit you
  • “I-it’s okay, MC, I’ll call for help immediately! Defender of Justice, 707, off to the rescue!!” he declared, suddenly dashing out your room
  • Wait what?
  • “Come baaack,” you called out, feeling slightly disappointed. Had he just run out on you? What was he even trying to do? You just wanted some Saeyoung cuddles right now…
  • From the open door, you could hear Saeyoung talking vividly on the phone, “Give up the sacrifice!! NOW, Jumin Han, or I will hack into your company right now!”
  • Sacrifice? What sacrifice?
  • “I will steal Elly—no, listen to me, I will call her Elly however I please!”
  • Did he already forget about you? You grumbled, rolling over to hug your blankets.
  • “Good, I’m glad we cleared this up! 5 minutes, Mr. Han, I’m giving you 5 minutes to send her over.”
  • Fuck, was he trying to get Elizabeth the 3rd over? Seriously, that wouldn’t really help with your period pains very much. At all. You didn’t hate her, per say, but you were fucking dying in here.
  • You mentally counted down 5 minutes, when the doorbell suddenly rang, and you could hear Saeyoung’s footsteps as he practically flew to the door.
  • “I’m so glad you’re here! Thank youuuu!!” You could hear him exclaim.
  • “MC?” a soft, feminine voice called out to you from the doorway.
  • Your eyes snapped open, “Jaehee?! I thought you were Elizabeth the 3rd!”
  • Her eyes twinkled with amusement. “Now, why would you think that? I wasn’t aware that spending so much time cat-sitting had resulted into my transformation into a cat.”
  • “N-no.. never mind.” It was always hard to explain Saeyoung’s antics. “Why are you here?”
  • “Seven called Mr. Han to demand that I came to help. I’m very glad to (get away from Jumin) be of help, MC. I brought some painkillers, some hot soup and a few bags of tea for you to drink over the next few days. It should help somehow,” Jaehee explained, holding up a small plastic bag that you hadn’t noticed before.
  • From behind her, you noticed Saeyoung peeking nervously from the doorway, his eyes teared up as he stared at your weakened form.
  • “Thanks, Jaehee. And Saeyoung, you can come in, you know…” you said.
  • “B-but!! I’m a pure girl, darling, what if I get the curse of periods too?!” Saeyoung whined, shaking his head furiously.
  • ….That’s what he was worried about?
  • “Seven… Periods are not contagious,” Jaehee deadpanned.

V

  • He was always prepared when it was your time of the month—even more than you were! He couldn’t help it. For the majority of his relationship with Rika, he’d been doting on her, doing anything and everything he could for her. Old habits die hard.
  • “MC, maybe you shouldn’t be wearing white underwear… it’s almost your time of the month, isn’t it?” he called out as he was cooking breakfast, glancing at you from the corner of his eye.
  • “W-wha?” you yawned. You were only wearing one of his shirts and some panties, but then you realized the date. “Oh, you’re right!”
  • By the time you went to change, you’d already seen the faintest taint of pink on your underwear. Fuck. How many have you ruined by now? …Too many to count.
  • It took a couple hours before the pain started to kick in.
  • Considering this was a reoccurring pattern, V already knew what to do and when to do it.
  • “MC, honey, I prepared a hot bath for you… Would you like to be alone, or shall I join you?” he asked, checking in on you.
  • “Nng… I can’t really walk right now, sorry,” you replied, hugging a heating pouch to your lower stomach.
  • He chuckled in return, “Then I’ll carry you there. Perhaps I should strip you, too?” He winked jokingly.
  • If this had been a normal day, you would’ve taken the chance to jump at him (because V’s hot and a sweetheart) but no, your cramps were killing you today. So no. No sinning today, MC.
  • He fed you chocolate as you sunk into your bath, letting the heat relax your muscles, significantly easing your cramps. He helped to wrap you in a towel, making sure you were warm.
  • By the time you went to bed, the cramps had more or less gone away for the night, and you happily snuggled into his chest, feeling comfortable, relaxed and loved.

Saeran

  • When he finished his morning shower, he found you groaning in pain on the bed, hugging a pillow tightly.
  • He snickered, “Was I too hard on you last night? I didn’t realize it was that bad…”
  • You shook your head, correcting him, “I’m on my periodddd…”
  • Immediately, his smile dropped. What the fuck?
  • “What… what is that supposed to mean?” he furrowed his eyebrows cutely, looking at you with pure confusion.
  • “I’m bleeding from my vagina, what else?” you rolled your eyes, deadpanning.
  • “Erm. Oh,” he stated in surprise. “Does… does ice cream help?”
  • “Ice cream doesn’t solve everything, Saeran…”
  • He frowned, not knowing what to do. Instead, he crawled into bed next to you. “Well, uhm, I don’t really know what to do… but, whenever I’m not feeling well, your hugs really help me, so if you don’t mind, I’m just going to cuddle with you… okay?”
  • You flashed a small smile at him, inwardly gushing at how adorable he was. “Of course!”
  • He smiled back with a hint of relief that he was doing something right. “Tell me if you need anything, okay?”
  • “And what if I said I only need you?” you joked.
  • He plants a soft kiss on your forehead. “I’m the one who needs you. Please feel better soon…”

anonymous asked:

You got any headcanons about the Shimada Bro's s/o meeting or playing with their noodle dragons?

~I love the noodle dragons so much. They’re so derpy.


Genji

  • The first time he showed them to you, you were expecting the giant dragons he always used in battle. You were a little nervous about it because you knew how important it was that they accepted you. These little noodle creatures are not what you were expecting.
  • The moment Genji finally introduces you to them, they love you completely. You don’t know that the dragons are an extension of their master’s true self and Genji doesn’t tell you because he’s embarrassed by how clingy the dragons are with you. They love to wrap around your waist like belts and just move around the house with you. When you do find out that they’re an extension of his love for you, you couldn’t be happier. 
  • They’re so affectionate with you, Genji starts getting a little jealous. You get caught in the middle of a Dragon vs. Ninja Cyborg affection triangle. They’re fighting over you constantly and you’re just trying to keep up. As much as you love all the attention, you eventually have to sit them both down and tell them to stop.
  • When Genji goes on really long missions, he leaves a dragon with you. It keeps you company until he gets back. Its like having a part of him with you always. It makes you happy. 

Hanzo

  • The first time you met the dragons had been a total accident. Hanzo had been otherwise preoccupied and let the dragons roam free when suddenly he remembered that you were also in the house. He looked for you and found you, arm out reaching to touch them. He was just about to stop you when the dragons rested their heads against your hand and curled around you. He was shocked.
  • When you learn that the dragons are an extension of their master’s true self, you realize just how touch starved Hanzo is. The dragons are constantly around you hugging you, begging to be touched. You just can’t say no to them. Some nights, you wake up with them curled on your chest and you just hold them closer. You get into the habit of holding Hanzo more too. He doesn’t say much about the change but you can tell he’s happier.
  • “They’re cats.” “They’re not cats. They’re majestic beasts that should be feared.” “If they knock over glasses like cats, if they hiss like cats, if they wake up in the middle of the night to go running around the house for no reason like cats, They’re cats.” “My dragons are not cats.”
  • He gets upset when you pull out a laser pointer. The first time you’d done it had been as a joke but when the dragons actually started chasing it, it made your day. You started buying all kinds of cat toys for them to play with.