literally asking me to choose a favorite in haikyuu (oikawa) is so stupid because I literally love every single character (just oikawa) like they are my own son (oikawa) or daughter (oikawa still) it’s just a bad question
I’ve been joking with friends about how Ryder could be designed to match Overwatch characters. Give Scott Charge and a Krogan Hammer and you’ve got yourself a Space Reinhardt (the krogan hammer even has thrusters–just look at the tooltip!). Give Sara Charge and make Omni Grenades sticky, and you’ve got yourself a Tracer. What a time to be alive.
And I miss everybody so much, especially Hera and Kanan. Like I know character growth and development is important, and I am not mad about where they are going, but I still miss how lighthearted everybody used to be. I miss Hera joking around with everybody in between mom spiels, and I miss Kanan’s reckless behavior and his space cowboy attitude. I also miss how innocent Ezra used to, and I miss Zeb being an actual important part of the team. I miss Hera and Kanan being a team who joked around, and talked through eye contact. I just miss the space family so much.
another thought point: not making accusations here, but in death note, they specifically made L to be weird and unattractive and like ugly unnapealing and shit. hes supposed to be super offputting. but netflix cast a pretty attractive looking black dude as L. and afaik hes the only black guy. what could this mean? 🐸🐸☕️☕️🐸☕️🐸☕️☕️🐸☕️🐸👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻
Hey I just saw your post about how jokes targeted at a specific group of people is indicative of systematic oppression, and while I do believe that's a fantastic point, it loses its weight when you consider the number of white people jokes made online every day. It ends up unintentionally supporting the bullshit "white genocide" narrative. I just wanted to bring it up.
lmao except there’s a huge difference between “white people dont season their food” and “jews are all corrupt criminals”
white people arent a marginalized group and thus jokes aimed at us don’t carry the same weight as ones aimed at actually marginalized ones because jokes aimed at poking fun at an oppressor is nowhere near the same as an oppressor slinging insults at the people they’re oppressing
Honestly though, straight people mocking gay people without even taking a second to consider that one of more gay people may be around is so damaging to young gay, bi, pan and questioning people ect.?
Like I remember being 14 and super deep in the closet and like. I had this boyfriend, but then one day at school one of his friends made a joke about how I was probably secretly a lesbian and in love with my best friend in a very “ha ha gay people are funny” way, and the thing is. I was a closeted lesbian and I was in love with my best friend at the time and that comment literally killed me inside?? Like I can still feel the “oh god what if everyone knows and hates me and thinks I’m horrible and dirty” in my body when I think back at it and I’m actually crying as I’m typing this
We need to do better by gay kids and we need to teach our children to do better by gay kids as well
ive been staring at the screen for about 10 minutes with no idea how to express myself
but like,, i feel like i need to post something?? idk
what you guys need to understand if you’re going to read this,, it’s not cheerful. it’s not humorous. it’s not the kind of thing that i usually post on here. but people think they know me and they don’t and i’m scared to let you guys see this side of me but if you want to know me, you have to know all of me. i want to be able to be honest with you guys, even if it’s this hard, because i always turn my mental health into a joke and i don’t know how to fully cope with it. i didn’t intend to post this when i wrote it, but i want people to know me. i don’t want my mental health to be something that i awkwardly shove aside in conversation.
also: please understand this. i have no intention of killing myself. reading this, it might seem like it, but i’m not going to. i will be okay.
i feel like this is one of those moments that i want to preserve because,, like, I’m sad,, but its a calm sort of sad. not a hating everything and wanting to kms sort of sad.
I’m sad but I’m okay
i always make jokes about my mental health on here, but like.. its not a joke, but i can’t make myself take anything seriously
i write things like this a lot but i don’t post them
but I’m posting this
and idk why but I’m scared
because i feel like everyone who thinks they know me doesn’t know me at all, and I’m scared to let you guys see this side of me
the 4.5 seconds away from having a panic attack side of me
the mentally ill side of me
because i don’t want you guys to worry about me
I’m sad. we all are.
i think that i need to talk to people to stay sane,, like i need that interaction, whether it be face to face or texting or tumblr messaging
i need to me able to talk to people, but at the same time i can only handle so much interaction before i get overwhelmed and have to stop
but i need to be able to talk about things- everything. hamilton, my mental health, writing
i love talking about writing
i love writing
i love it not for the creation that I’m left with at the end, but for the act itself of sitting down and telling a story
i need writing
i would’ve killed myself otherwise
and now this becomes one of the posts that i leave in my drafts forever because i’m scared of what the reaction is going to be when i say things like that
i feel like you guys are gonna be like “no don’t kys i luv you XD” and i don’t want that. because i feel like it invalidates the whole idea that people can get better.
i’m not going to kill myself. if i intended to kill myself, id do it and be done with it, i wouldn’t post something like this. the fact that I’m at a point where i can post something like this proves that there’s enough distance for me to feel like i can talk about it.
i’ve not recovered- i think i’ll always be somewhat depressed, but i’m at a point where i’m fairly confident in the fact that I’m not going to kill myself
at the beginning of this, i said i was calm. i’m not.
i feel like nothing i do will ever be enough, because nothing in itself is an accomplishment. it’s just farther away from the next one.
i wrote 2k words today, and that’s how much i meant to write and that’s good, but there’s a voice at the back of my head telling me i could do more.
sometimes i can convince myself that i’m doing a good enough job but i’m not. maybe when it comes to writing or something i enjoy but then.. school..
my progress report came today and its,, not good. i think that i first realized my mental health was a problem when it began to interfere with school.
i got two good grades. the rest of the classes, my teachers couldn’t give me a grade because i can’t even make myself pay attention in class- i’m just too much in my own mind.
they tell the students that it’s our own fault if we fail because it’s up to us whether we pay attention in class. that’s not true. i’ve reached a point where i genuinely have no control over my brain.
but i’m trying. i’m going to work my ass off for the next three months and try and get a pass grade.
this sounds really attention seeking. it’s not. it’s me trying to be honest about my life, because i can make myself seem witty and cool from behind a screen but that’s not who i am. you see the frankie who writes fanfiction and yells about lin and makes stupid hamilton jokes. you see a happy frankie.
you don’t see the frankie who has panic attacks on a nearly daily basis, hasn’t showered in a week and has to go to therapy so i don’t make bad life choices.
both frankies are real- the happy frankie is still me, but they’re also the mentally ill frankie. if you want to know one frankie, you have to know the other.
i don’t know if i’m going to post this. it feels as though it might be too personal, but that’s what i was going for.
it’s personal. it’s honest.
i’m probably going to regret posting this, but i think i need to. i need to let everyone who thinks they know me really know me.
okay but you know how I joked about peter being a wrestler if uncle ben didn’t die? now imagine he didn’t grow up with that sense of responsibility and just… becomes a cage fighter for underground clubs. I am just saying.
It’s funny, the anon hate sender calling ME a joke while hiding under anon. Attack kids in crisis, and then tell me how much of a joke I am for calling you on it. Who has more balls, the anon coward or the person who stands behind EVERYTHING she says?
You’re probably are unable to follow my logic. Let me help. Me. I have more balls than you. You’re the joke.
I just had a long chat with my coach today. Like so long that when I left I realized I had completely missed my afternoon class. But let me tell you I learned a lot about myself, running, and life itself in this meeting, and I do not feel one bit of regret for missing class.
I’ve been meeting with my coach trying to find a way to build my confidence. I have been struggling with believing in myself and my abilities. And today after a long conversation ranging many different topics, I realized there is no one answer. So that means I can’t just follow a protocol and magically I’ll feel better about myself. I need to put in the effort and work on it.
I’ve decided that from this day forward I’m going to have a positive view about everything. I’m not saying I’m super negative now, but I make joking remarks about how “this runs going to suck” or “I felt awful” or “I can tell I’m not going to do well”. No more. I’m going to be positive and lift myself up instead of tearing me down.
My coach told me that I am too hard on myself. I already knew that, but I was hard on myself because I thought other people would think that. I am mad after I have a bad race because I’m embarrassed and think other people will think I’m slow. But every time I said something negative about myself or my talents as a runner my coach would say, “Well I don’t think that.”
Not only am I putting pressure on myself, I’m putting imaginary pressure from other people on myself as well. From now on I want to be gentle with myself. I want to forgive and realize I’m trying my best. If my friend messed up I would tell them it’s ok and they’ll do better next time. I’m going to start doing that with myself.
So from now on no more negativity. No more excuses. No more insults. No more “I’m fat, I’m slow, I’m bad, I messed up, I can’t do this.” Because I can do this. I know I can, but I’m going to have to work to get there.