new strategy for dealing with straight girls who jokingly refer to each other as girlfriends: take it seriously and watch them struggle to explain how they ‘didn’t mean it that way’ and blunder their way through a justification of why it’s funny to them
Lance is like… the unexpected ride or die friend. He’s the guy you call when your car breaks down in the middle of the night but only afteryou’ve already tried ten other people. And when he picks up you don’t really have high hopes because you two aren’t really that close, but apparently he didn’t get the memo because he’s immediately like “oh shit yeah sure gimme a sec to get some clothes on and get in my car and also do you want coffee or anything? because I think I’m gonna stop and get some so I don’t crash my car on the way lol. no? you sure? okay hang tight for a few mins be right there”
OK, so I very genuinely hate MatPat. I don’t enjoy his content and this isn’t going to be ~constructive criticism~ or anything to fix his brand because I just…I just hate the guy. Somewhat irrationally? If you like him, then know that this isn’t me judging you or anything, I just hate Matpat like I hate spiders.
His smug face pisses me off when it’s plastered onto every aspect of his videos. His constant bragging about how he has gaming and theories down to a “science” makes me mad because his theories are reach-y and he constantly brings up his science education in a very #humblebrag kindof way. He brags about his girlfriend’s achievements in a very self-congratulatory way? He talks about getting a perfect or near-perfect SAT score (I hate him so I don’t remember which and won’t go rewatch the video) in one video where he goes on and on about how he’s doing stats (his stats are bad) to bring science to his channel???? And I literally don’t believe him lmao. Straight up don’t believe he did that well.
I’ve actually been studying science for the past 4 years, including statistics, and so his bullshit makes me extra special salty. I fucking HATE scientific elitism with a passion and he sounds like every person who pisses me off ever.
Matpat is just constantly patting himself on the back and aihsdiuwehrehgiotgjae it drives me nuts!??! LOOK AT HIS SMUG FUCKING FACE.
A bunch of his theories are unoriginal. So unoriginal that they’ve been posted everywhere on the internet before he’s gotten his hands on them. So unoriginal that for pretty much every theory there’s already one post in existence that is a) better fleshed out or b) blatantly titling itself a crack theory. Matpat gives no credit because he’s a big bitch baby who like to pretend doing the “theory” and “research” part of his videos is a labour of love.
He gave Undertale to the pope and I cannot express enough how much that sums up his smug ass personality to me.
He thinks he’s gods gift to gaming and I want to fight him!?!? I personally want to fight MatPat. His face makes me mad.
It’d be cool if he just considers his lame unoriginal content to be “fun” or that he accepted his theories as kinda a joke thing? But he’s legit super smug about it. He’s smug about being right about “theories” that aren’t even theories- they are legit IN THE GAME (satanic overtones in Hello Neighbor for instance). He’s smug about being wrong, too!? He’s just so smug HOW IS ONE MAN THIS SMUG!?!?!? YOUR GAME THEORIES AREN’T REAL RESEARCH MATPAT!! THEY ARE CASUAL INTERNET RESEARCH! ACCEPT THIS AND MOVE ON!! STOP PRETENDING YOU’VE SPENT WEEKS SLAVING OVER PRINTED PAPERS ON HOW LUIGI IS IN REAL ESTATE OR SOME SHIT LIKE THAT AND JUST ACCEPT THAT YOUR THEORIES ARE FUN AND NOT CORRECT JESUS CHRIST?!?!?!?!?
TLDR: Matpat is a smug motherfucker who constantly pats himself on the back for being more /intelligent/ than other gamers/theorists with his videos when they are unoriginal, aren’t well thought out, and just seem to be a vehicle for his narcissism. His pseudo-intellectual attitude fills me with irrational rage.