this is how i feel at night

…I can write the saddest poem of all tonight.
I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.

On nights like this, I held her in my arms.
I kissed her so many times under the infinite sky.

She loved me, sometimes I loved her.
How could I not have loved her large, still eyes?

I can write the saddest poem of all tonight.
To think I don’t have her. To feel that I’ve lost her.

To hear the immense night, more immense without her.
And the poem falls to the soul as dew to grass.

What does it matter that my love couldn’t keep her.
The night is full of stars and she is not with me.

That’s all. Far away, someone sings. Far away.
My soul is lost without her.

As if to bring her near, my eyes search for her.
My heart searches for her and she is not with me.

The same night that whitens the same trees.
We, we who were, we are the same no longer.

I no longer love her, true, but how much I loved her.
My voice searched the wind to touch her ear.

Someone else’s. She will be someone else’s. As she once
belonged to my kisses.
Her voice, her light body. Her infinite eyes.

I no longer love her, true, but perhaps I love her.
Love is so short and oblivion so long.

Because on nights like this I held her in my arms,
my soul is lost without her.

Although this may be the last pain she causes me,
and this may be the last poem I write for her.

—  Pablo Neruda, excerpt from The Saddest Poem
The Montreal Problem

Chapter 8

Summary: The reader has big plans to spend a month in Montreal with her boyfriend. The problem? He breaks up with her just as her flight is leaving. Now she’s going to be stuck in an unfamiliar city for a month with no place to stay. That is, until an unexpected hero offers her a solution.

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7

Keep reading

to the man who can never be mine

I love you isn’t enough to express what I feel for you. With every beat of my heart, it was all for you.Every single second, every single minute, every single time, you made my heart jump because of happiness. Falling for you isn’t a regret, it was my greatest blessing because with you in my life, I felt the feeling I thought I would never feel. And for that, thank you, thank you for all the happiness you brought. You will never know how thankful I am because you became part of my life.
There are times where I had to suffer sleepsless nights, because of crying. Crying because maybe for the fact that you can’t be mine. Funny how I depend so much of my happiness to you. I’m sorry for all the trouble I caused, my feeling were uncontrollable and all I can do was to cry, to feel sad, and to feel the pain. I didn’t even think of little things around that can make me happy and I thought my life revolves around you. I made you my world but I forgot, you are a person and not my world.
I can also remember how ready I am to offer you the universe, on how you became the center on every poetry I make, and on how you captured my heart. But at the present time, you’re already ready to offer someone the universe, someone is already the center of your poetry and someone already captured your heart. And as cliche as it can be, it wasn’t me. Hey, that hurts you know but right now, I can say that I’m ready to see you happy- even with someone else. Because your happiness will always matter to me.
Please be happy with her, because I’m ready to let go if I need to.
I love you, always remember that.

Ok, random AU thing that popped into my head last night that I need to just get out and idk if it’s been done but yeah:

Anna and Elsa’s family have run Arendelle Farm for years. They are known for training some of the best equestrian riders along with just being good people. Their Father runs the farm, and helps also in training with his wife. Both Anna and Elsa ride competitively, both exceeding very well in their levels.

After losing their parent’s in a barn fire (one that has still yet to be solved on what exactly caused it), the sister’s take it upon themselves to keep the barn running at full force. Needing help, they hire Kristoff Bjorgman as a stable hand. A quiet man, Anna obviously takes it upon herself to get to know him. 

After many attempts, Kristoff finally opens up and a friendship is formed. Which leads to Kristoff moving into the open loft above the barn (which Anna definitely convinced him to after finding out he had an hour commute to the barn every day and tbh Kristoff doesn’t mind seeing as it has it’s perks…like having Anna be the first and last person he sees every day).

Which then leads to awkwardness, the most RIDICULOUS sexual tension (the man gets hot af cleaning the barn, of course she sees him shirtless at least a dozen times if not more, not to mention Anna is oblivious to how red faced Kristoff gets when she is around now after their little quick dip into the nearby pond one hot afternoon), which theeeeeen leads to feelings (especially after seeing Anna fall off a horse one day and Kristoff nearly has a heart attack). Which then leads to sneaking out to the loft, late night swims, quick, hot make out sessions in between the stalls and just all the goods because yes.

Oh, and they try to keep it “secret” from everyone but obviously, everyone in the whole barn knows. 

Long night

Word count: 995

Warning: None (unless you’re not feeling particularly angsty and fluffy today)

Author’s note: Here’s an angsty + fluffy Shawn piece no one asked for. Inspired by the song Long Night by With Confidence and Shawn looking fine AF at the airport recently (How dare he, right?!)

One week. It isn’t the longest you’ve been away from each other but it might as well have been with how you left things. To be honest, you weren’t sure if there were things to still come back to. There were tears, screams, and slammed doors. You don’t even remember what the fight was about now. You were tired, Shawn was exhausted.

You both said hurtful things you didn’t mean. But they didn’t hurt you really. You were together long enough to know he didn’t mean them. But what killed you was the radio silence. To be fair, you didn’t attempt to reach out, too. You were afraid to say more things you didn’t mean or hear him speak some truth you weren’t ready to accept—like saying he couldn’t do this anymore with you. You were trying to postpone a breakup that may or may not have happened already.

Keep reading

feeling very very anxious about book 4. book 3 flowed outta me like magic - it took me one single night to plan the entire plot, and i wrote it over twice as fast as radio silence. but book 4. nothing yet. reminds me of how i was when i was trying to come up with radio silence and i just Could Not formulate an idea that i liked, no matter how hard i kept trying for months and months. i think that might be happening again this time. need to remember that i’m allowed to take some time to think and make lots of different plans before settling on an plot to pitch.

I was feeling shitty after therapy the other day so I decided to jump on the train that is @merry-the-cookie‘s over the garden wall au which you can check out here

I’m sorry that the photo quality isn’t amazing but it’s 10 at night and I only had my desk lamp for lighting. In other news my last exam is on Monday so after that I will have a lot more free time for drawing and I might be getting a tablet soon so I can start doing digital art as well.

dicoatl  asked:

I assume that you're one of the nicest, kindest, talented ppl in the world!!♡

That is so kind of you to say! But there are so many people who are more kind and talented than I am for sure! I have been listening to “The Book of Joy” which is basically an interview between the 14th Dalai Lama and Archbishop Desmond Tutu. It has really put some things into perspective for me and has reminded me how important compassion and selflessness is. I would highly recommend it, it makes you feel hopeful :) Also one of my favorite sports quotes “There may be people who have more talent than you, but there’s no excuse for anyone to work harder than you do” - Derek Jeter. It reminds me to work hard, even if I’m not great at something :) Have a wonderful night!

I just wanna let this be known

that if you dont like how I draw or how my OCs are, you can unfollow and/or block, do whatever you want that helps you sleep at night. 

not complain in my inbox how my OCs don’t have ‘personality’ when all you’ve seen is finished artwork here on Tumblr that I’ve done hours later (and not going through my Twitter to find the character doodles you say I don’t show). When I feel ready enough to show you the very personal drawings I’ve done, I’ll show it. And if I wanna draw some fucking titties every god damn day, I’m gonna do it.

so, ✌️✌️✌️

Hold on to the memories they will hold on to you… ❤️ After 11 years of patiently waiting, I finally got to meet @taylorswift. I truly never thought the day would come where I could finally tell Taylor how important she is to me and how much she’s changed my life. Being able to hug the one person who has inspired me more than anyone else is an incredible feeling and is something I’ll never ever forget. Talking with her face to face about the album and her Saturday Night Live performance was so surreal and honestly felt like I was just hanging out with my best friend. Taylor, thank you for everything you’ve done for me over the years. Thank you for interacting with me on Tumblr and making me feel like we have a true connection. Thank you for creating music that makes me dance and sing like an idiot, yet also touches my heart on a deeper level. Thank you for continuing to be there for me even when my friends and family aren’t. Thank you for being you. Last but not least, thank you @taylornation for inviting me to the Reputation Celebration party because none of this would’ve happened if it wasn’t for them!! 11/13/17 was the best day of my life. I love you endlessly Taylor Alison Swift ✨

anonymous asked:

you clearly aren’t listening to what i’m saying so i give up. have fun alienating survivors because you don’t like them. if your apology involves making the hurt party feel bad for being upset in the first place, it’s a shitty apology. have a good night

if she genuinely wanted an apology she would have talked to me 1 on 1 instead of snarkily reblogging shit instead of actually messaging me. shes been doing this for months before i made the post. if anyone wants to have a real dialogue about how it hurt them, i would love to talk to you personally to apologize. but as far as reblogging my posts for months on end telling me to delete, i think that its not an apology that theyre looking for at that point

the tattooed guy with the smile (about gustav)

A young boy sat there smiling, he was tattooed head to toe and he had the goofiest smile. “Light of my life” I thought as he lit a poorly rolled blunt staring at me through the screen. He told me we would love him when he died. I thought he was kidding, I swore we love him now, alive.

He might’ve had a smile that I swear, could’ve cured all diseases, he might’ve had a smile that was a medicine to my depression and hatred but it didn’t cure his pain.

Last night I put on my headphones and pushed play. I was anxious and feeling like death would be fine but slowly sang words insuring me someone knew how I felt, someone was as lonely as me lulled me to sleep. I slept well for first time in a week. His words, his voice and his goofy smile in my head, I slept and I slept long.

This morning I woke up to texts from my friends telling me “he is dead, THIS TIME he really is dead!!” I didn’t believe it. I cried.

The smile that was medicine to me was gone, thanks to something he used to medicate his sadness.

This feeling will pass. The emptiness in a fan’s heart will fill with someone new. He too, is replaceable but that will never change the fact that Gustav changed my life. He will be remembered. His words will be on my skin in a year from now. He was on his way to becoming a legend and died way too young. Rest easy, hellboy.

anonymous asked:

Whenever I leave Camren in the past, it seems to pull me back more. "My heart beats a little faster when our eyes meet in the middle of a crowded room." "And I can't deny that I want you to stay." "But maybe I should wait. Let it fall into place." The lyrics of All Night just fucks me up, like the whole song and its context. Or maybe that's just how I interpret it. Music is art and art is purely subjective however you take it.

Music has the potential to touch everyone’s hearts in more ways than one. So your own interpretation is as valid as anyone else’s. It makes you feel something, I think that’s what’s important.

unable-to-comply  asked:

Are you familiar with the Avatar the Last Air Bender shows? If so, what are your thoughts, feelings, pleasures or pains with it?

i watched both series from beginning to end and i enjoyed both, but i never became invested in either as, like, a fandom thing. so, you know, it would difficult for me to pontificate. that m. night shyamalan shit show of an adaptation, however, i could rant about for hours. how does a person of color produce such a racist, whitewashed debacle?

anonymous asked:

Hey not a request, just wanted to let you know that i've been going through some shitty stuff recently and looking through your blog at night is one of my comforts and gives me a lil escape at the end of the day. thank you

The entire year has been a shit-storm of childhood trauma tackling my brain. I know how you feel, love. Inheriting this blog has been the best thing that could have happened to me this year. 

Hearing about how you look through my blog at night brings me so much happiness, I can’t even describe. I’m glad it comforts you, and it makes me want to write better.

anonymous asked:

Any book recommendations? Ps: love your blog ✨📚


Hi everyone, wow – I am getting a lot of asks about books! You’re all lovely. I don’t have ‘favourite’ books but there are books that have affected me deeply, that are close to my heart and I think of often. I don’t really want to just list them because it’s quite personal to me.

Last night I was lucky enough to be invited to the awards ceremony of the Goldsmiths Prize. Now in its fifth year, the prize has firmly established itself as the touchstone of experimental fiction. I would recommend reading almost any of the books on the shortlist for the last five years – this year’s winner was Nicola Barker’s H(a)ppy, previous winners include A Girl is a Half-Formed Thing and How To Be Both

Alternatively I have a list of everything I’ve read and everything I’m currently reading. Please feel free to message me for a specific recommendation or just keep an eye out on my blog for my reviews :–)