this is how i cope with things i don't want to happen

On trauma aftermaths that don't advance the plot

The way TV shows trauma can lead people to expect every reference to trauma to be a plot point. This can be isolating to people coping with the aftermaths of trauma. Sometimes people treat us as stories rather than as people. Sometimes, instead of listening to us, they put a lot of pressure on us to advance the plot they’re expecting.

On TV, triggers tend to be full audiovisual flashbacks that add something to the story. You see a vivid window into the character’s past, and something changes. On TV, trauma aftermaths are usually fascinating. Real life trauma aftermaths are sometimes interesting, but also tend to be very boring to live with.

On TV, triggers tend to create insight. In real life, they’re often boring intrusions interfering with the things you’d rather be thinking about. Sometimes knowing darn well where they come from doesn’t make them go away. Sometimes it’s more like: Seriously? This again?

On TV, when trauma is mentioned, it’s usually a dramatic plot point that happens in a moment. In real life, trauma aftermaths are a mundane day-to-day reality that people live with. They’re a fact of life — and not necessarily the most important one at all times. People who have experienced trauma do other things too. They’re important, but not the one and only defining characteristic of who someone is. And things that happened stay important even when you’re ok. Recovery is not a reset. Mentioning the past doesn’t necessarily mean you’re in crisis.

On TV, when a character mentions trauma, or gets triggered in front of someone, it’s usually a dramatic moment. It changes their life, or their relationship with another character, or explains their backstory, or something. In real life, being triggered isn’t always a story, and telling isn’t always a turning point. Sometimes it’s just mentioning something that happened to be relevant. Sometimes it’s just a mundane instance of something that happens from time to time.

Most people can’t have a dramatic transformative experience every time it turns out that their trauma matters. Transformative experiences and moments of revelation exist, but they’re not the end all and be all of trauma aftermaths. Life goes on, and other things matter too. And understanding what a reaction means and where it came from doesn’t always make it go away. Sometimes, it takes longer and has more to do with skill-building than introspection. Sometimes it doesn’t go away.

On a day to day level, it’s often better to be matter-of-fact about aftermaths. It can be exhausting when people see you as a story and expect you to advance the plot whenever they notice some effect of trauma. Pressure to perform narratives about healing doesn’t often help people to make their lives better. Effect support involves respecting someone as a complex human, including the boring parts.

The aftermath of trauma is a day-to-day reality. It affects a lot of things, large and small. It can be things like being too tired to focus well in class because nightmares kept waking you up every night this week. TV wants that to be a dramatic moment where the character faces their past and gets better. In real life, it’s often a day where you just do your best to try and learn algebra anyway. Because survivors do things besides be traumatized and think about trauma. Sometimes it’s not a story. Sometimes it’s just getting through another day as well as possible.

A lot of triggers are things like being unable to concentrate on anything interesting because some kinds of background noises make you feel too unsafe to pay attention to anything else. For the zillionth time.  Even though you know rationally that they’re not dangerous. Even though you know where they come from, and have processed it over and over. Even if you’ve made a lot of progress in dealing with them, even if they’re no longer bothersome all the time. For most people, recovery involves a lot more than insight. The backstory might be interesting, but being tired and unable to concentrate is boring.

Triggers can also mean having to leave an event and walk home by yourself while other people are having fun, because it turns out that it hurts too much to be around pies and cakes. Or having trouble finding anything interesting to read that isn’t intolerably triggering. Or having trouble interacting with new people because you’re too scared or there are too many minefields. Or being so hypervigilant that it’s hard to focus on anything. No matter how interesting the backstory is, feeling disconnected and missing out on things you wanted to enjoy is usually boring.

When others want to see your trauma as a story, their expectations sometimes expand to fill all available space. Sometimes they seem to want everything to be therapy, or want everything to be about trauma and recovery.

When others want every reference to trauma to be the opening to a transformative experience, it can be really hard to talk about accommodations. For instance, it gets hard to say things like:

  • “I’m really tired because of nightmares” or 
  • “I would love to go to that event, but I might need to leave because of the ways in which that kind of thing can be triggering” or 
  • “I’m glad I came, but I can’t handle this right now” or
  • “I’m freaking out now, but I’ll be ok in a few minutes” or 
  • “I need to step out — can you text me when they stop playing this movie?”

It can also be hard to mention relevant experiences. There are a lot of reasons to mention experiences other than wanting to process, eg:

  • “Actually, I have experience dealing with that agency”
  • “That’s not what happens when people go to the police, in my experience, what happens when you need to make a police report is…”
  • “Please keep in mind that this isn’t hypothetical for me, and may not be for others in the room as well.”

Or any number of other things.

When people are expecting a certain kind of story, they sometimes look past the actual person. And when everyone is looking past you in search of a story, it can be very hard to make connections.

It helps to realize that no matter what others think, your story belongs to you. You don’t have to play out other people’s narrative expectations. It’s ok if your story isn’t what others want it to be. It’s ok not to be interesting. It’s ok to have trauma reactions that don’t advance the plot. And there are people who understand that, and even more people who can learn to understand that.

It’s possible to live a good life in the aftermath of trauma. It’s possible to relearn how to be interested in things. It’s possible to build space you can function in, and to build up your ability to function in more spaces. It’s often possible to get over triggers. All of this can take a lot of time and work, and can be a slow process. It doesn’t always make for a good story, and it doesn’t always play out the way others would like it to. And, it’s your own personal private business. Other people’s concern or curiosity does not obligate you to share details.

Survivors and victims have the right to be boring. We have the right to deal with trauma aftermaths in a matter-of-fact way, without indulging other people’s desires for plot twists. We have the right to own our own stories, and to keep things private. We have the right to have things in our lives that are not therapy; we have the right to needed accommodations without detailing what happened and what recovery looks like. Neither traumatic experiences nor trauma aftermaths erase our humanity.

We are not stories, and we have no obligation to advance an expected plot. We are people, and we have the right to be treated as people. Our lives, and our stories, are our own.

anonymous asked:

Hey, I find really sweet the way you write Saeran, and I was wondering if you could write about him crushing desperately on mc and trying to express it, even if he had no idea of what to do (if you want to add the whole RFA too is ok and if you don't want to do this request, it's okay too, you can write about an idea of your own instead!)

Haha, glad you like our characterization! This prompt was so cute, so we decided to also do a few others in the RFA along with Saeran. Hope you like it! 


Saeran:

  • He realized he had feelings for you when he called you at 4am one night
  • He had a nightmare and you were the first person that came to mind
  • He tried to apologize for waking you
  • But you just told him that you would always be there for him no matter what
  • Somehow, it hit him hard and he fell harder
  • He acts a bit awkward around you afterwards
  • He has these new feelings that he’s not sure how to cope with
  • Still, he wants you to know that he appreciates you
  • All he knows though is what he’s seen on TV
  • Like he tries to give you his hoodie…and then gets embarrassed when you thank him but say you’re not cold
  • He notices you walking too far out on the street, so he’ll give you a little push so you’re closer to the sidewalk…only he pushes you a little too far
  • “Oh, sorry! I didn’t mean to cut into your personal space, Saeran.”
  • No…that’s not what he meant…don’t go so far…oh noo
  • He tries to surprise you with ice cream with nuts on top…only you politely refuse because you’re allergic to nuts
  • You get overly excited one day and give him a hug
  • He gets as red as his hair and you ask if he’s okay, all the while getting a little closer
  • Poor boy is dying
  • At this point, Seven (who had been watching the whole painful process) intervenes and gives you a little nudge…and your lips land on Saeran’s lips
  • Ah, guess the secret is out

Yoosung:

  • You two had spent a lot of time together in the months after the first RFA party you hosted
  • One day, you two were just walking around and talking and you started talking about some personal problems
  • You apologize and admit you feel safe around Yoosung
  • He’s immensely touched to think that someone could feel like that about him
  • Only he can’t stop thinking about how that moment felt….or about you
  • He realizes he’s starting to develop a crush on you
  • He gets flustered every time you compliment him on something
  • Even the smallest thing gets him blushing
  • Big compliments destroyed him
  • “Yoosung…your shoulders have been getting broader.”
  • “Really? Thanks! You too!”
  • “What?…”
  • “NO!”
  • He tries some pick-up lines…but he keeps losing courage after the first “hey, MC!”
  • Eventually he does get some advice from Zen
  • Finally, he confesses to you….it only takes him a year

Jumin:

  • You and Jumin had been talking in the chat a lot more after the RFA party
  • He realizes that he feels something different about you than the other members
  • He knows what it is…but doesn’t want to confirm it just yet
  • V is hanging by the penthouse one day and Jumin just starts rambling vague questions
  • V listens carefully before looking up at him 
  • “So, you’re asking what happens when someone thinks about a person all the time, wants to see them, and finds themselves opening up more by accident?….So, you got a crush on MC?”
  • Does Jumin Han is blush? Yes he does.
  • Whenever you two meet, he’s always trying to find an excuse to spend time with you
  • He wants to get to know everything about you…only he gets so nervous, he asks sooo many questions
  • It’s okay, cuz you find it cute
  • He’s usually really good with his words, but around you his brain is a mess
  • So, in attempts to be smooth, he quotes a drama he’s recently watched
  • Only…you recognized the quote and now he’s embarrassed
  • At the next RFA meeting, you admitted you found him attractive
  • His response came out stammered you broke Jumin
  • Once he gets his feelings sorted and put together, he does eventually confess to you


Seven:

  • Your car broke down one night in a strange town and you were really scared
  • You call Seven to see if he’d be willing to pick you up
  • He can tell you’re pretty shaken up so he offers to call one of the other members to help
  • But then you tell him you’d feel more comfortable if he was around
  • He didn’t know why, but the statement made his heart brain beat really fast
  • You’ve always been good friends, but as he’s driving you back home, he finds he has an urge to spend more time with you
  • He doesn’t know how to approach you to just “hang out”
  • So he does the only thing he knows how…
  • You call the next day, “Seven, I got a virus on my computer!”
  • “Oh…is that so? I can come over to fix that.”
  • He knew he had to think of something new after the eighth virus
  • Luckily he doesn’t have to because you kind of caught on and invited him to hang out a few times
  • Sometimes little compliments slip out but he tries to cover it up real fast
  • “Wow, you look pretty today,” he mumbles
  • “What?”
  • “Uh…you haven’t unlocked that part of 707. Try again at level 5.”
  • Coincidentally, it’s in one of these slip-ups that he confesses…and you actually hear it 

Check out our other headcanons~ Masterlist

nicememerino  asked:

How do you talk to my therapist about hElping you? I'm not even sure how she's suppose to "help" me. Everytime I go we just sit there and tell her what happened since I saw her last. I don't think it's helping me and it's wasting her time so how do I approach my therapist about it?

Hi baby 💝 You’ve been sooo patient, so thank you. I think it’s really important that you are able to identify and acknowledge when a resource is no longer serving its purpose, so good on you darling. 

Signs that it’s time to change therapists:

• You feel judged or shamed.
• You feel uncomfortable.
• You feel a lack of connection.
• You feel a lack of progress.
• A lack of boundaries.
• You’re compromising your beliefs.
• Your therapist is consistantly late to appointments and / or cancelling.
• Your therapist talks mainly about themselves and / or gets distracted consistantly.
• Your therapist takes sides.
• Your therapist uses victim-blaming and / or other offensive language.

It has been 12 years since I personally began therapy; I have been to 7 different therapists in this time, and only recently found a therapist that actually worked for me. I never knew how comfortable I could be and how much progress I could actually make in therapy before I met her. I’m sharing this because I think it’s important to remember that finding a good therapist can take some time. Just don’t give up !!!

How to make the most out of therapy:

  • Think about your goals for therapy, and share them with your therapist. I wrote a little guide on setting goals if you want to check it out. 
  • Be as brutally honest as possible about your experiences and feelings. This can be tough to do on the spot or if you disagree with something your therapist says. Fear of judgement is often something that makes me hesitate to open up about an issue I have- but being direct about it will strengthen the relationship, contribute to recovery and make you feel better.
  • Put in work outside of therapy. Reflect on what you’ve talked about. Consider checking out self help books from the library, keep a private journal, try new coping techniques, do some creative exercises, research relevant topics to expand your knowledge, start a free workbook, etc.
  • Be curious. Ask any question that comes to mind during your session. Don’t censor yourself.
  • If you come up with any questions outside of therapy, don’t be afraid to write them down and bring them up in your next session.
  • Set your appointments for times that work for you, and try to show up a little bit early so you can unwind before your session. I personally get anxious when waiting so I practice deep breathing in the waiting room. Try to forget the clock during your session.
  • Keep your health related resources in a safe place such as a binder or folder. I can’t stress it enough how much this has helped me outside of therapy.

Important things to remember:

• You don’t have to share everything with every therapist unless you are comfortable to.
• Sometimes things can get worse before they get better.
• Therapy is no quick fix.
• A therapist cannot “save” anyone, but they will help bring light to your own wisdom and your ability to recover.
• Attending therapy does not make you weak or flawed. It is nothing to be ashamed of.
• Not every session will feel like a breakthrough.
• Therapy is a service for you. This is about you, for you.

Extra links:

recommended books
self help
recovering without professional help
app masterlist by RecoveryIsBeautiful
more advice

I truly wish you luck, darling. You deserve a good support system. 🌷💕

anonymous asked:

I dated a guy for 8 years before we decided to get married. He dumbed in the alter where I waited for two hours without him or one of the bridesmaid whom he apparently eloped with. We had sex the night before so it shocked me to the core and I only knew what he did because of a snap he took in Las Vegas about it. What would RFA + V + saeran react to that when the have crush one me. Sorry it's too personal but I'm hurt and I don't know how to cope. I know it's full of typos please ignore them.

*cracks neck* A few of these characters may beat up the fictional equivalent of that douchebag for you. I’m so sorry this happened to you. I don’t know if I can properly convey to you the sadness and anger I feel at your story. So I’m just going make sure that our MysMe friends take care of him.

Also, I make an exception about pronouns for you. It’s all you/yours for this HC.

I’m actually surprised this one flowed out so naturally… enjoy!


Yoosung

  • When he hears what happened, he’s like a deer in the headlights
  • How is supposed to respond to that?!
  • You’re crying, and it breaks his heart to see you cry, but he’s also angry that that douchebag hurt you so badly
  • And underneath it all, even though he tries to squash the evil little voice, a part of him is singing “Ode to Joy” because you’re now single
  • But not ready to mingle, so he keeps his distance in that way
  • He’s there for you, holds you, does his best to cheer you up

Jaehee

  • if she ever sees him again, she’s going to Judo kick him so hard in the head, his skull will fracture
  • When she finds out, she gets you out of the church as fast as possible, helps you change, and takes you somewhere safe from prying eyes, private, and takes your phone away
  • She calls the RFA (still at the wedding) tells them what happened, and asks everyone to clear out the guests
  • Zen’s so angry on your behalf that you even hear him yelling through the phone, swearing up and down that if he ever gets his hands on DB, he will kill him
  • She will bring you anything you need, tea, coffee, pastries, ice cream
  • Jaehee has warm blankets (fresh from the dryer), dvds, and time, so she stays with you until you need time and space, then leaves, and comes back when you call
  • You need to work your way through this? She understands if you need to take a quick cry break in the back
  • seriously, though, if she ever sees him again, she will probably Judo kick him into the sun

Zen

  • He.
  • Is.
  • Ready.
  • To.
  • Kill.
  • Zen’s never exactly been shy about flirting or expressing his feelings for you, even if it was one-sided, not taken seriously, and he never intended to seduce you away from your beau
  • But Zen is a hopeless romantic, so someone spitting on the name of love like that, regardless of you, pisses him off
  • He doesn’t play around with women’s emotions (not on purpose, anyways)
  • When he hears the two of you even had sex the night before, he’s so angry he wants to hit everything
  • But he’s here for you, and so he drags you out of the church, takes you either to a bar or his apartment (that way you don’t have to look at the place you shared with him and be reminded)
  • Zen ignores the looks two get while riding his motorcycle
  • Once your safely hidden away in his apartment, he isn’t afraid to hold you, give you anything he has- 
  • -in his fridge! That’s totally… what… um… h-he meant…
  • He has a ton of beer, and is more than willing to knock a few back with you and play games or watch TV
  • In the end, you play drinking games and watch bad TV
  • Years and years later, your in a happy relationship, married to Zen, you’re walking down street and see the guy the left you at the altar, and Zen bull rushes him and throws a few punches
  • Dude holds a grudge

Jumin

  • We all know Jumin Han and how quick he is to jump into relationships
  • He wanted a relationship with before he found out you were engaged, and was only okay with letting you go because you seemed happy
  • So, with everyone waiting in the pews at the church for over an hour, he knows something is wrong and goes looking for you
  • When he finds you crying, he asks what’s wrong, and you show him the snap of DB in Vegas, eloping, he’s furious
  • Jumin immediately tells you deserve so much better, and if you’d like, he’d be more than willing to step in as the groom for this wedding
  • If you say no, he will accept your answer, but will be there, supporting you and hoping someday you’ll say yes to a spontaneous marriage proposal
  • However, if you say yes, he walks you out there, head held high, heart soaring, a small smile on his face
  • No matter what you say, he’ll probably send a security team after him to beat him up

Saeyoung

  • Will do anything and everything to make you smile after hearing that terrible news
  • Saeyoung will try to distract you, protect you from prying wedding guests, and hack your now ex’s life simultaneously
  • He’ll even drag Saeran into the fun! or just hand off the hacking so that he can focus on distracting you more
  • Saeyoung will try his best to protect you from the pain
  • He hacks DB’s social medias and edits  any picture of him so he has devil horns, a tail, and a hitler ‘stache
  • So when you inevitably check, possibly out of habit, you see a small part of what he did
  • Also, btw, Saeyoung hacked int DB’s credit scores, managed to drop the whole thing to zero and lock it there, and he also got the IRS to look into him, just to fuck with him 😈

V

  • When he hears what happened, he just asks what you want to do now
  • Is there anything he can do for you? To help you?
  • If you say, “Take me home” he will escort you home
  • If you say, “hold me” he will hold you and hopes never to let go
  • He take care of you anyway you ask him to
  • The only time V says no, is when you ask for something that’s bad for you (like your phone, because you keep staring at that picture of DB in Vegas for some reason, like you can’t believe your eyes)
  • V is just very compassionate and giving, and eventually helps you through things, even if it’s only piece by piece
  • might ask Jumin to get a security team to track down DB and do something about him

Saeran

  • Oh, this guy is so dead
  • He took a snap chat? Well, guess what, Saeran is a hacker and can not only trace his location, but fuck with everything around him
  • This DB is going to pay for making you cry
  • Saeran takes all the guys money, uses it on things for you to make you feel better afterwards
  • Seriously, on DB’s dime, Saeran arranges an entire day at a nice, fancy spa with a massage, a facial, mani-pedi, haircut, the works, all for you
  • Of course he doesn’t tell you any of this because you wouldn’t approve
  • He also pays a few guys off (again, on DB’s time) to go “rough up” DB
  • He watches the whole thing from a distance, recording it all with his phone

anonymous asked:

personally i don't like willhell because he's abusive and violent. but go ahead and invalidate my reasons. as someone who has actually suffered from abuse i find his behavior disgusting and manipulative and violent. grow up and see that your perfect guy is a disgusting fuckboy loser.

Oh wow, this should be fun. Thanks for your kind message. 

So let me start first by saying, Willliam is in no way perfect. Skam is not about perfect people. No one is perfect. Not Noora, not Isak, not Eva, not Sana (gasp she said it). No one. Every single character on this show has done something they aren’t proud of, something they are ashamed of…wait isn’t that the name of this show in fact? So don’t come off trying to make it seem like I idolize William, because I don’t. 

But also, as a human being with a soul and a pair of eyes, I can see the difference between a unrepentant, abusive, asshole and someone who is struggling in life. 

I’m going to try and be clear about this because no one else wants to see it, but it’s fun and I want to so let’s get rolling.

1. Abuse: William, a teenage boy with crush on a girl, goes about getting her attention in a game as old as time. Does he manipulate Vilde in order to get to Noora? Ya a little but in fairly harmless ways. He calls Vilde to talk to Noora. He snaps Vilde to ask if their bus is coming to his party. 

Ya but he is a dick to Vilde. He treated her like trash. So yes, well done on using your eyes in this one and only scene. He does talk down to Vilde and later explains to Noora that he did so to try and get Vilde to dislike him. He doesn’t want Vilde or her obsessive affections and was pretty clear that they were just a hook-up. Vilde even says that when she has sex with William, that he was very sweet and kind to her. (doesn’t quite sound like abuse).

When Noora goes on her date with William in order to fulfill their bargain, she says (after the date has come to an end) “I don’t owe you anything now” and William says “no you don’t owe me anything”. William obviously likes this girl and tried to do something sweet by taking her out and talking about his past and trying to explain a little about why he says the things that he says. At this point, Noora gives off the impression that she has done her duty and gone on this date, but then she does show signs of being interested in William after.

I’m still not sure where the abuse is coming from, but I’ll continue.

William teases her, tries to get her to come to his parties, tries to get her attention and despite Noora’s outward protests to the idea of hanging out with William, there is definitely interest and she is trying to fight that because of Vile (who, mind you, isn’t dating William so he has no obligation to this girl he slept with among several others). Obviously, Noora doesn’t want Vilde finding out so she becomes paranoid that William is going to tell Vilde about what happened (or didn’t happen) between them.

Despite all of this, and all of William’s teasing, he doesn’t ever tell Vilde anything. He goes along with Noora’s wishes for privacy and to keep what happened between them a secret.

When they start dating/seeing each other, William is completely interested in Noora. She is again paranoid because of his past behavior with sleeping around, that he is going to cheat on her or sleep around during Russ time. William seems insulted by this because it’s clear to him that he is only interested in Noora. He expresses this several times and even has several kind things to say about her when she opens up about her family.

“BUT HE LIED ABOUT HIS BROTHER”

As someone who has had some dark things in my past and in my family, I don’t necessarily open up about those right away or ever. It’s hard to talk about having a fucked up family. It’s hard to admit that your - in William’s case - brother is a psychopath, or that your sister is dead, or that your family is broken. Not exactly easy conversation for a girl who may or may not be invested in getting to know you and keeps pushing you away.

William has a dark past and while yes he acts like a prick a lot, it is a natural coping mechanism. He has a fucked up family life - none at all really - and so let’s shame him for trying to push himself as far away from that as he can. 

2. Violence - saying William is an awful person because of his anger issues is pretty demeaning. Not everyone can cope with anger in a sweet and calm demeanor. William gets into fights, just like Isak,Jonas, PChris, Boy Squad v Balloon Squad s4. It’s part of the way he defends himself and his friends. Is smashing a bottle over your enemies head a good way to solve an issue? Hell no. But this is someone who was anxiously trying to help his friends and defend his friends (as he explains to Noora) about what the Yakuza guys were doing to all of them. Again, was it right? No. But did he go around smashing bottles on everyone’s heads? Also no. People say he didn’t have remorse about this but it was very clear to me that he was ashamed of this anger and this side of him because he asked Noora to stay on the bus. He was concerned about what she might see and how it might affect her opinion of him.

Now, when it comes to the talk about ‘killing’ his brother: William was so angry with his brother for what he did to Noora, for taking advantage of her, that he probably wanted to kill the guy. That is not a ‘strange’ reaction. It’s a coping mechanism for people who would do anything to protect the people they love. Note, he didn’t kill his brother. I don’t think he even beat the shit out of him even though Niko would have deserved it for what he did. I think that’s called…….character development?

3. He victim blamed Noora when she thought she’d been raped: bullshit. This goes back to the anger issues and coping mechanisms. Not everyone knows how to respond when it comes to news that your brother may have raped your girlfriend, or in the initial situation, your girlfriend who you finally let your walls down for and love deeply, may have slept with your brother. Naturally, instead of beating the shit out of his brother (which old William might have done) or putting himself in a situation where he might have said cruel things to Noora when blinded by anger, he pushed himself away. It’s called self-preservation. He wasn’t shaming her for what happened. But it looked as though he felt that he failed her and himself and that he wasn’t going to let his walls down again.

Obviously that wasn’t the case.

I could list a thousand other moments where William was actually kind and tender to Noora when she was having an anxiety attack, when she was lonely. William’s reaction to Noora admitting she lied and didn’t testify against Niko is once again another reaction that shows he was sad and confused about a situation that caused so much tension between them. He hates his brother and hates what he has done to William’s relationship with Noora, and to Noora directly. Obviously, that news would mean he needed time to process.

Noora is a runner, as I’ve said before, and when she feels unloved (like she feels about her parents, or how she felt likely when Sana was being cold to her about Yousef) she runs, she steps away.


If you don’t believe me, just listen to Sana talk to Noora about half of the same shit above in S2. 

So please don’t try and come at me that you’re a victim of abuse so you’re the expert on William Magnusson. I’ve been verbally abused most of my life in a not so great family situation. My father is a manic-depressive and I have been scared for my mother on countless occasions. I have been verbally manipulated into making me feel as though I am to blame for things that I have not done. It has scarred me so much to this day that I still get anxiety during family get togethers.

I am in no way invalidating your abuse or your past. But looking at William, I don’t see a terrible person, a nasty person, an abuser, a toxic white man. I see him as a man who very much cares for Noora Amalie and would do anything to protect her, anything that she asked of him. A man who is kind, silly, goofy, loving, and understanding, but with a past who he also has to overcome, and has been for the last several years.

So please don’t leave nasty comments on my page.

Thanks.

Bellamy’s Season 5 Arc - Speculation

The 100 tends to follow a pattern with Bellamy and Clarke, and their so-called “dark arcs”. They almost seem to be on alternating schedules. For instance, Bellamy’s first dark arc was Season 1, where he was played off as the antagonist (until he got more fleshed out and started working WITH Clarke, versus against her). In Season 2 he was, for the most part, a hero. Then in Season 3 was his second downward spiral, and Season 4 we saw the return of him playing the hero.

Clarke was the opposite. Instead of Season 1, like with Bellamy, Clarke’s dark arc came in Season 2, with her becoming cold and shutting down her heart. Season 3 was her path out of the darkness, and in Season 4 we saw Clarke return to that dark place with her once more trying to justify her actions as “the only choice”. 

There’s a pattern. 

If it continues (and I think we should be prepared for it to), that would set us up for Bellamy having another dark arc in Season 5, although not in the same sense as previous seasons because he still remembers the lessons he learned then, and Clarke on the opposite schedule (like it’s been in the past). 

When we see Clarke after the six year time jump, she is full of light and hope. I have a feeling that when we see Bellamy again, it’s going to be the opposite.

Throughout Season 4, we saw Bellamy gradually starting to rely on his impulses less and start using his head more. The finale was the climax of his Season 4 arc, with all of the previous episodes leading up to the ultimate moment when he would have to close that door on Clarke, the girl he loves, in order to save his friends. 

He followed his head over his heart.

Bellamy and Clarke have often gone on parallel journeys, just in a different order. I have a feeling that Bellamy’s arc next season might not be all that different from Clarke’s in Season 2 in the sense that, after losing Clarke, he’s starting to shut down his heart and rely more on his head.

Clarke’s shift resulted from killing Finn. Bellamy’s will result from essentially “killing” Clarke by shutting that door on her. It was the right choice to make (otherwise everyone would have died) but also extremely traumatic.

I’ve seen many people being a little surprised at Bellamy’s reaction to Clarke’s “death” and how they were expecting him to cry more. If you think about it, it makes a lot of sense that Bellamy would try to shove those emotions down and bury them somewhere deep inside him as a coping mechanism if he believes that to honour Clarke’s memory, he has to be a more rational leader rather than an emotional one. 

The best thing to do as the leader of his people? Maybe. But the healthiest? Probably not.

Don’t misinterpret my message: it’s not that I believe Bellamy will be ALL head next season, and NO heart. I think he’s going to be a balance of both (which will make him an excellent leader) but I think that, much like Clarke in Season 2, he’s going to struggle to find his way out of the darkness as a result of some of the choices he makes leading in that way. 

We don’t know what happened in those six years yet, all we know from Jason is that it wasn’t easy for the group of seven up in space. I’m sure we’re going to see the effects of that, and the toll that it took on Bellamy as a leader (and I doubt it will be pretty).

As a somewhat related note, I wanted to talk about what this means in terms of Bellamy’s love life on the Ark, as that seems to be the topic of discussion on my dash at the moment (sans the Bellarke Extra-ness).

Everyone’s worried about Bellamy falling in love with someone else … but the finale is telling a different story. It’s telling the story of Bellamy shutting his heart down, ruling with his head (as I said before, however, I don’t think Bellamy will lead ONLY with his head - because that’s not who he is - but I believe it will be a large element of his character arc). We already saw him start to shut down his heart a bit at the end of 4x13, in the scene where he stares down at the burning Earth.

Yes, I’m sure Bellamy has grieved and “moved on” in six years. But I also think that after what has happened to him, after losing Gina, after losing Clarke - the only two girls he’s ever opened his heart to - he’s not going to be eager to jump into any relationships. Not any serious ones. 

So I’m not expecting any sort of intimate relationship between Bellamy and anyone else on the Ring that involves anything beyond sex. 

If the pattern I mentioned continues, Season 5 could very likely bring us another dark arc for Bellamy (different than previous seasons), and that would involve him closing his heart to any true romance.

(I wonder what might be a natural progression of that arc that would resolve Bellamy shutting off his heart? Hmmm … I might be able to think of one solution. ;))

Anyway, this is a super rough meta that I put together in about fifteen minutes so feel free to add. Tagging @bellamybb 

anotherscreamingfangirl  asked:

i just love the idea of gardening!derek. it started out bc he needed to know about aconite and healing herbs but now all he wants to do is grow gorgeous sprawling gardens. he finds it soothing and rewarding to tend his plants and watch them grow. :)

This is a perfect headcanon, I am so completely on board with this concept.

I’ve always been in love with the idea of baking!Derek or woodworking!Derek because he just seems like the kind of person who would be so soothed by that kind of activity. Like working out (which Derek has been shown to use as a coping mechanism) these are straightforward physical tasks requiring little mental effort, which is honestly just so great for pushing through certain forms of depression.

And gardening is another hobby that fits right into that. It’s the kind of quiet and straightforward activity that you can see a positive result from, but it’s also low pressure: if you bake some bread and it doesn’t rise right, if a particular flower dies or weeds creep in… it’s not the end of the world. It’s a place Derek can screw up without worry about lives on the line, but it’s also something that can produce something positive and beautiful that he can be proud of, that he can look out into his yard and feel this bright, warm feeling blossom inside him over. That he did something good, he made that. And maybe it’s a silly thing, small and insignificant in the grand scheme, but it makes him happy. Makes him feel like he’s getting a little bit of control back in his world.

And now I imagine Stiles being the one to get him started on it. Just showing up at the loft one day with a simple little spider plant dangling awkwardly in one hand, saying it’s a housewarming or whatever, the place looks too empty and hey, no big deal if you kill it ‘cause I got it for like five bucks and Derek aims a sarcastic smirk at the implication but when Stiles leaves the plant is sitting at the corner of his table. And Derek ignores it determinedly for a day or so on principle before he ends up pouring a little water out of the glass he’s drinking from into it because why not, right? It’s not like it’s actually a hassle to water the thing once a day. Just as easy to keep it alive as not.

Except, Derek wonders a few days later, squinting to see if the thing seems a little yellow at the tips, is he supposed to water a plant like this every day? Is he drowning it? Is it getting enough sunlight, or… whatever else plants need? Which is how Derek finds himself at the local gardening store, fists stuffed into the pockets of his his black leather jacket, asking the startled looking salesman a series of clipped questions on how to care for spider plants.

It’s a couple months before Stiles shows up with another plant (because the first one seems lonely) and then before he knows it, Derek’s racking up a collection. The long table in front of his window becomes a veritable flower bed, out of place but strangely homey at the heart of the sparse loft.

Derek doesn’t actually buy any of his own plants until he moves, over to a little cottage on the outskirts of town. It edges the preserve, not the way the Hale house had but close, and the small space is comfortable and pleasant in a place the echoed warzone of the loft never could be. It lets him patrol for trouble more easily, he tells the pack… and then once they’re gone, in the quiet where only the plants can hear him, admits that he likes it there.

But the yard is sparse, even when he transfers the majority of the plants (the ones that would survive outside, anyway) to the garden, so a few days after he’s moved in he finds himself back from the gardening store, car bed packed with shovels and trowels, ferns and groundcover, and a few carefully chosen bright flowers.

He finds himself out there often. When he’s stressed or the loneliness twists too deep in his gut, when harsh memories push him too close to dark dreams. There’s always something to do: weeding, watering, trimming, landscaping. It’s soothing, somehow, watching the yard develop. Feeling the odd burst of pride when a bud blooms, or when the little edging wall he’d made from scavenged rocks in the preserve comes out just barely lopsided. When it starts to look like a home.

And when Stiles appears at the edge of his yard, a half-hour early for a pack meeting, to find Derek on his knees in the dirt, carefully coaxing a bunny-bitten geranium upright in the earth.

“See Spiderplant’s doing ok.”

Derek glances up, follows Stiles’ gaze out to the cluster of grasslike plants lining the flowerbed leading into the preserve. 

“That’s the runners. The original’s…” on my nightstand, he doesn’t say. It feels like that might say too much. He lets the words hang, goes back to carefully patting dirt down. Stiles is quiet for a few beats, though Derek can hear him moving around the edges of the garden, taking it in. No one’s been back here before, and a part of Derek tightens up at the intrusion. Like Stiles –– clever mind and quick tongue –– might see something in this space to take away the haven Derek’s made here.

But when he finally pushes himself up, brushing dirt from his knees with dirty palms, Stiles is watching him with eyes that remind him of how he looks at the garden.

“It looks good,” Stiles says, and he’s not looking at the flowers.

Derek doesn’t look away for a long moment and then glances down, a faint smile playing over his lips.

“It looks good,” he echoes, because it does. And he’d made that. Something that isn’t broken. And maybe that means he isn’t broken too.

snugsbunnyfluff  asked:

Hello, I hope you're well. I'd like to ask you about conflict! I've read lots in writing books about conflict. I know conflict is needed in a story and for the characters. But, my problem is, even though I kind of understand conflict I don't know how best to use it. I was wondering if you could provide breakdowns, maybe from your stories or other published stories. Sometimes seeing things spelled out helps me. It's okay if this is not possible. Thank you for your time, and for this fab blog í ½

Aww, thank you so much, love!  This is a great question.  In the writing community, we talk a lot about conflict without really defining what it is – and further, what types of conflict there are.  So I’ll list and explain them, as well as give some examples.


Types of Conflict (and Their Strengths)

There are five main types of conflict in fiction:

  1. Man vs. Man – Situational or relationship conflict between two or more characters.  (Think The Dark Knight or Beauty and the Beast.)
  2. Man vs. Self – Otherwise known as “internal conflict”.  Conflict between a character’s opposing feelings.  (Think Revenge of the Sith or Silver Linings Playbook.)
  3. Man vs. Nature – Conflict between the main character/s and the elements – providing for the self or defending against animals, weather, or illness.  (Think Life of Pi or Robinson Crusoe.)
  4. Man vs. Society – Conflict between the main characters and the “system” – the government or ruling majority.  (Think The Hunger Games or Hidden Figures.)
  5. Man vs. Technology/Supernatural – Conflict between the main character and a non-human force.  (Think 2001: A Space Odyssey or Gremlins.)

Like the different tenses or POVs, none of these options are inherently better than the others – but they do work better for different stories, so it’s important to know what they are and how to make the most of them.

I’ll now outline each style briefly, save for #5, which is fairly self-explanatory.  If you have a question about this style for any reason, though, let me know and I can make a separate post.


1. Man vs. Man

Man vs. Man conflict is the most easily recognizable conflict in fiction, because your characters are always aware of it happening.  There are three types of this conflict:

  1. Situational M-vs-M – Two characters have opposing desires or responsibilities, but only one of them can get what they want.  Leslie wants to build her park, but Ben wants to cut funding.  Wreck-It Ralph wants a medal, but Vanellope wants to use it to qualify for racing.
  2. Moral M-vs-M – Characters have a moral disagreement that must be resolved in order to maintain a relationship or make an important decision.  Luke wants to change Vader for good, but Vader wants to change Luke for evil.  Tony feels the government should keep the Avengers in check, but Steve thinks they should maintain individual control.
  3. Personal M-vs-M – Characters in a relationship, romantic or platonic, disagree on some issue or hurt each other in a way that threatens their relationship.  Noah wants to be with Allie, but Allie feels a commitment to Lon.  Rayna wants to marry Deacon, but Deacon can’t overcome his alcoholism.

Man vs. Man conflict is most popular in romance stories, as well as Good vs. Evil stories involving heroes and villains.  It’s best for stories that are character-driven, or employ themes of battling ideals.  This conflict is shown through arguments, escalating to Big Decisions with long-term consequences.  Here is a post on how to resolve interpersonal conflict.


2. Man vs. Nature

This kind of conflict is relatively straightforward, although it covers a variety of plots:

  1. Survival – The main character/s are left to the elements and must keep themselves fed, sheltered, and defended against anything that would harm them.  This is one of multiple conflicts in The Hunger Games, most prominent when Katniss and the tributes are in the arena – and during this time, Man vs. Man and Man vs. Society are also present.
  2. Illness – The main character/s are ill and must battle their illness – if treatable, battling for survival, and if terminal, coping with the inevitable.  This is a primary conflict in The Fault in Our Stars.
  3. Beast – This is kinda like Man vs. Man in that it is very singular, based on a conflict between two forces: a human and some sort of “beast.”  Of course, this beast doesn’t have to be an animal – it could also be a natural disaster, like a storm, or a spreading disease.  Anything from a white whale to a pandemic qualifies as “the beast”.

Man vs. Nature conflict is often coupled with Man vs. Self to create the best survival stories, facing topics of vulnerability, isolation, and fatality.  This conflict is best shown in sequences of varying “wins” and “losses” to Mother Nature, each one increasingly strengthening the character, as well as teaching them something about themselves or life.


3. Man vs. Self

This is one of my favorite styles of conflict, because it requires the deepest character development and provokes more philosophical questions.  The most common internal conflicts:

  1. Head vs. Heart – A tale as old as time: your MC’s heart is telling them what they want, but their mind is telling them the opposite.  This is sparked by an inciting incident (e.g. a new opportunity or love interest), which is battled back and forth internally until a decision is reached.  Typically the heart is painted as the right decision, but it can really go either way.
  2. Self vs. Self-Image – In this style, your character battles with themselves over their very idea of self – who they believe they should be versus who they instinctively are.  This is also perpetuated by outside forces, such as family members or love interests, who offer their input and confuse the MC.
  3. Faith vs. Science – This title is figurative, not literal.  Basically, this is a conflict in which your MC struggles with their beliefs (political, religious, etc.) when new information is introduced.  Life-changing events spark a question, which the character at first avoids, then assesses, until they arrive at a new conclusion or identity.

Man vs. Self is best for stories that tackle social, political, or moral issues.  It is often couples with Man vs. Nature or Man vs. Man, as a character’s other conflicts cause them to reassess their own beliefs, desires, or identity.  I believe, personally, that all stories should include some kind of Man vs. Self conflict, since the MC should be changed by the end of any novel.


4. Man vs. Society

This is a popular conflict in modern literature, especially with the rise of dystopia (and the state of unrest in social politics today).  There are two different portrayals of this conflict:

  1. Individual Conflict – In this conflict, one character, by some new circumstances, is put into a new role that “separates” them from society (e.g. they become disabled or discover a disability, they experience their first instance of victimhood or discrimination, etc.) and find a new moral position alternative to society.  This conflict is used in Mean Girls, as Cady Heron finds herself on multiple tiers of the social hierarchy at school and must decide where she aligns herself.
  2. Organized Conflict – This is the Man vs. Society we recognize from Star Wars, The Hunger Games, Divergent, and other “Us vs. Them” stories.  This can be led by Man vs. Man conflict between the leaders, such as with Harry and Voldemort, or Gandalf and Saruman.

Man vs. Society is great for high fantasy, dystopia, or any story central on social conflict.  This conflict drives most antiheroes or spy/assassin characters with no fitted role in the system.


So your first step is to decide on one or a few types of conflict to include in your story – not so few that the story idles, but not so many that there are no “resting points” in the novel.  Once you’ve picked them out, take some time to outline how they’ll develop.  Write it down and keep it as a reference for later, as you’re working through the story.

That’s all I have for now!  If you have any further questions, hit me up and I’ll respond shortly ♥️️  Happy writing!


If you need advice on general writing or fanfiction, you should maybe ask me!

erroneouslygrey  asked:

Drarry 8th year idea: Harry goes completely silent one day&lays down&cries in the 8th year common room&doesnt leave for 4+ days. His friends don't do anything to help him bc he made them promise after the war to leave him completely alone when he gets depressed unless it lasts > 2 weeks. Draco starts out irritated bc he cant fight with harry but then gets so worried that he becomes sick and can't move from the common room either. They start to talk & realize they've liked each other for a while

Welp, I tried


Harry was sitting in the shared eighth year common room alone when Draco burst through the door. “Why aren’t you in potions?” He asked harshly.

Harry kept staring into the fire, fiddling with his wand. “Didn’t feel like going.” He replied flatly. Draco huffed and crossed his arms.

“You haven’t been going to your classes for the past four days.”

“Great observational skills.” He said, still not looking at Draco.

“Why?” He asked, his voice softer than it was before.

“Why do you care?”

“It’s getting quite boring, not being able to taunt someone.” He sat down next to Harry. “I guess after the war that’s the only thing that felt normal.”

Harry finally turned to look at him. Malfoy was facing the fire, his face showed no malice or disdain. “How can anything be normal now and days?”

“Well, we have to try don’t we? I mean, we can’t forget the war, but we can do little things to cope with our losses; to remind us that it’s over.”

“How very philosophical of you.” Draco hummed in response. “However, taunting me won’t remind you that it’s over, but instead it’ll feel like it never happened. We can’t get over something if we deny that it happened.” Draco turned to face Harry and quirked an eyebrow. “I think, after everything, we should be friends.” He held out his hand for Draco.

Keep reading

Also, I can’t get my message box to load but somebody asked my head cannons on Trans!Danny Fenton so woo-hoo sorry for no cut I’m on the app these aren’t all of them and are a typo and grammar mess OH WELL HAVE HEAD CANNONS

•Danny (his name originally was spelled like dani) tried to pass off as a tomboy but his parents knew (jack and Maddie aren’t oblivious) they wanted him to feel comfortable going to them but once he was nearing puberty they got concerned and approached him about puberty blockers. In the words of maddie, while jack covered his ears due to discomfort at talk of his child’s genitals, “having breasts or a menstrual cycle won’t make you any less of a man but I want to make things as easy for you as possible.” To which jack finally pops in “also binders! I read kids your age bind with ace bandages and I don’t like that!!” Meanwhile Danny is sitting sobbing in relief just staring at his parents

•Danny wears a class a binder thanks to the help of his supportive parents who also help him dress the part, but obviously the school isn’t just gonna pretend like “danni” never happened. Hense why Paulina and dash were so awful to him. Paulina offended by a “girl” having a thing for her, and dash offended the school treated him like a boy, even letting him use the boy locker room etc deciding if “danni” wanted to be a boy, he’ll treat him like a man, and beat the snot out of him constantly (dash logic)

•Valarie didn’t think any less of danny, and always considered him a man. She told him whatever was placed wherever on his body didn’t decide the man he was inside that she liked

•Sam had a similar reaction when the two started their relationship and Danny showed trepidations worried about how Sam would feel and she basically responded “I knew you when you were danni, and when you truly became the man you were supposed to be. I fell in love with you not your genitalia”

•Tucker was a little bit weirded out so he coped with his confusion by doing plenty of research on Trans people and the crap they have to go through socially and medically which resulted in him pushing suppliments on danny constantly to keep up his health, and petitioning the school for Trans awareness day which resulted in several students coming out to their friends and family thanks to a speech danny gave

•Many of the ghosts didn’t and still don’t “know” assuming danny is cis but Vlad did find out (making the whole, dani being the only stable clone thing click for him) and despite their differences vlad didn’t want the boy to suffer more loneliness than the halfa shit causes so when danny starts hrt vlad pays for one of the best and most lauded doctors in that field in the country to move close to where danny lived and paid for all of it despite dannys refusal and frustration. He shut dannys refusal down with “does your insurance cover hrt? No didn’t think so I win go to the damn doctor and appreciate me for once in your life”

•Ember thought it was rad as fuck, and playfully reassured danny the spell she put him under could only effect guys.

anonymous asked:

How can a man that loves a woman make bruises on her? How can a man that loves her even do such a thing? I don't wanna be hit by no man I want cuddles and kisses and love. What is wrong with women that want to be hurt or beaten? Why do they want him to hit them?? I'm trying to understand why... if he is willing to hit or beat her is he abusive? What's abuse if it's not? Should a woman be okay with this? I'm a little having trouble understanding... I was beaten as a child and never want that.

I am really glad you asked this question, and I would encourage you to examine and process my answer with an open mind.

The thing to understand about BDSM in the first place is that its an adult kink. One in which most (ALL SHOULD) engage in with complete consent and respect for each other. It doesnt always happen that way, but the base and core of the old code dictates that it should. Its much more than leather and whips and chains… its much more than some 50 shades of garbage or terribly made porno would have you believe.

Some of the key elements that go along with what we call “Impact play”, that is what you describe above in loose terms, are things I would invite you to investigate more after you have finished reading this.

Consensual Non Consent

An element in which the parameters of the relationship and the scene (or playtime) is discussed ahead of time between the individuals. Basically what it means in simple terms is that the couple agrees to what will and wont happen and ACT as if the submissive in the relationship has no say in anything, no will, gives up their power, etc. to the Dominant. This should always come with the safe word option, that is.. the word that will bring an end to the activity and cause it to immediately come back to “vanilla” (the plain common worlds way) and then aftercare and such can be administered. This usually only exists during scene play, casual encounters of playtime, and in Master/slave relationships. 

And yes it can be done the wrong way.. just as anything else in our lives and relationships can be. It can cause harm, it can cause mental and emotional damage, it can be abused… but so can anything in vanilla relationships

TOTAL POWER EXCHANGE

No two BDSM relationships are the same.Each has their own ways, rules, etc… but we all share common elements. You may also sometimes see the relationship referred to as D/s (Dominant/submissive) and with that, there are several… flavors we could call them.. of those relationships. The most extreme of which are Master/slave in which the “slave” gives up all and total rights. 

But guess what… she does this willingly and of her own consent and control. These kinds of relationships usually come with preconceived contracts at the start, and clauses within those contracts that also include safe words for extreme situations. When the submissive or slave decides to give up complete power to her Dominant she is expressing that she also has total and complete trust in this person to care for her every need, fill her every desire and give her what she needs to feel whole

What she needs to feel whole is hers and hers alone. That could be anything from a daily spanking, to being tied to the porch and left for 8 hours a day. Thats her kink. her will. her desire… and she places those things in his hands with the trust that he can then reciprocate what it takes to please her.

Kinks can stem from various things

The world of psychology, anthropology and human studies is going to tell you a lot of things in regards to why people act the way they do and like what they like.

Just because a woman enjoys being spanked, doesnt mean she likes being slapped in the face. Just because she likes being slapped in the face doesnt mean she sees it as abuse.

A good portion of littles in the DD/lg and CG/l portion of the kink are the way they are because of things that happened in the past. More often things that happened just after the last time they felt safe and innocent. This is why you will see them talk about having a little age.. or more technically, a regression age.

regression therapy has been used since as long as anyone can remember in therapy and psychology in order to get the root of certain issues in people and then expose them to be able to begin the therapeutic process. Its nothing new, and the kink side of things uses it as many things… for kink, for coping, for safety and security… like I said, no two relationships in this lifestyle are the same. No two submissives, Dominants, slaves, littles, pets, etc are the same either… even if we all share commonalities. 

Part of the kink is whats called IMPACT PLAY

IMPACT PLAY

Impact play in its most simple form is the use of physicality during scene play (playtime, sex, intimate time, etc)

This involves everything from spanking, to paddling, to flogging, slapping, objectification, and more. Basically anything that involves physical interaction in a way that isnt vanilla sex. 

But again, realize this… its something that is talked about, agreed to, worked out and planned in advance. If it isnt, that’s rape. Not to be confused with rape play, which again, is just like impact play in that its agreed upon and worked out ahead of time with safety, limits and a safeword. 

These are playtimes that involve the consent of both (or more) parties involved. And it is in no way shape or form about abuse.

The submissive asks the Dominant to do these things. And he does them because he loves her. He wants to fill her needs, he wants to see her be pleasured. And just because she derives that pleasure from taking a swat with a paddle or having hot wax poured on her… doesnt make her or the action wrong.

You might like to race cars, or eat spaghetti, or build dollhouses or whatever and if someone else doesnt get their pleasure from those things, they still dont have the right to tell you what to enjoy or how to enjoy it.

Just in the same way, no one has the right to tell her that enjoying the paddle or the saint andrews cross is wrong. Because its what she wants. Its what she consented to. Its how she copes, gets pleasure, gets the release she needs from stress of life and so on and so forth.

Taking the paddle is no different than being a quarterback in the NFL

One of the reasons a boxer becomes a boxer is because he enjoys the risk of being punched and hurt. But he also enjoys the rush and the feeling it gives him when said actions occur.

To put things in better perspective: Force = mass x acceleration

A good paddle is made of solid wood. Usually a quarter inch to half inch thick, with at least a 4 inch wide blade, and a 2 foot long paddle face. In the hands of an average built Dom, a paddle will hit the bottom of a submissive with roughly 800 lbs of force, traveling anywhere from 30 to 40 mph before strike at its most powerful swing. The bottom (depending on its size) takes a certain amount of the force and works as a shock absorb-er, rifling the waves of impact down her legs and up her spine and across her body . … and leaves considerable bruising, and gives her a full body experience she cannot get otherwise.

An NFL quarterback who is moving at a rate of about 10 mph away from his aggressor will take a tackle from a 250lb man with an impact of 1000 lbs of force at comparably 6G’s of speed. 

Why do I compare the two?

Because both are consensual. Both are risk. Both have reward. Both are known about before hand, and both are beneficial to the parties involved. Is it wrong for the quarterback to willingly step into an arena where he knows the risk of being tackled and injured by a man much larger than him exists? and without a safe word to tell him to stop.

Then why is it wrong for a consenting woman who is actually in control of her situation to do the same?

HEALTH BENEFITS

Note: This section will contain facts from scientific studies, college courses, medical journals, doctoral papers, and sports medicine. These are things that I learned from college courses and the papers and studies that went into them.


The health benefits of activities that involve placing stress on the body (like high impact excersize and extreme sports) are enormous. In the same way, a good spanking can deliver a parallel  experience to doing the Insanity workout.

Among the fact that the endorphin rush, dopamine enhancement, and feeling of accomplishment just for starters can bring, theres also the growth of cognitive functions in raising the brains awareness of the self.. which improves your executive functions or rather the higher level thinking skills you use.

the neurological growth that occurs through the changing and growth of the chemicals in the brain,  which helps to increase your focus. during high impact situations you become micro aware of your own body and what its going through, which helps to increase self awareness and get in tuned with yourself.

Improving your focus makes you concentrate, which also improves your memory. the stress of the situation makes you think faster, which improves your reasoning and reaction.

Taking a good spanking can actually improve your willpower. Scientific studies show that a persons willpower (their ability to make decisions that are better for them than others and avoid those that are harmful) is actually linked to executive function of the brain… which is improved through the growth of cognitive function… which can come from high impact play.

High impact play is also scientifically shown to reduce stress, anxiety, give you emotional resilience.. it fights (and actually can prevent) depression, increases pain tolerance, reduces fatigue, makes your brain grow (encouraging the growth of new cells), improves mood and happiness, improves sleep, boosts productivity, reduces addictive behaviors, and overall improves, enhances and grows just about every positive aspect of your life. 

AND IF ALL THAT DOESNT MAKE YOU THINK…

Then let me hand it over to some older submissives and littles that I asked about the subject. Because really, when you need an answer on something… get the facts from the source. So i surveyed 7 older submissives with great experience and here is what they told me:


Submissive female 1: “For me its cathartic, it gives me the ability to release whatever stress or shitty thing thats going on in my life. Its being able to place myself into the hands of someone who knows and loves me, and allow them to take everything that I can give, and give me everything that they can too. Its not about the pain, its about the growth of each person I think. It makes me feel strong. It makes me know I’m strong even when I feel like I’m not. D/s gives me security. It makes me feel at home. It helps me to know that I’ll be okay because I have someone who will help me be ok.

the impact part, thats where it becomes more than just a physical thing. Its a mental thing too. its a spiritual thing. It connects me with someone deeply… and it gets me off.”

Submissive female 2: “ In the above scenario, if a man is hitting a woman and it is not part of a negotiated,  consensual scene it is abuse. This woman clearly is not interested in engaging in impact play, and therefore her partner should respect that.  In regards to her attitude, other people do things within their relationships that don’t make sense to others and would not work for them. For instance, I have a girl-friend who goes to the hospital for medical procedures alone. Even major surgeries. She doesn’t want her husband there. I can’t imagine going to have an organ removed from my body or a bone set with out my s-o there to support me. However, this is their preference and it works for them. I can’t tell them its wrong and I shouldn’t judge it because it isn’t my relationship, no one is being harmed, and both partners are happy.

In the case of sexual relation ships and consensual kink the same principle applies.they are both consenting, both happy with the situation, and no one is harmed or had their consent violated as a part of the experience, it is up to the individuals involved to determine if its right or wrong.

Submissive female 3: In my case its a turn that comes with an extreme amount of trust in the person doing the hitting. I need it for control in my life but to others it might be something different. It isnt abuse if both parties are in agreement of each others limits and the key word should look for is CONSENT for BOTH  parties involved.

Why would you put bruises or marks on me? Think about it.

Personally I would feel owned if you marked me in that way… Sure you could just slap a ring on it and call it a day but marking is more intimate and means more to people receiving and giving the marks”

Submissive female 4: “If both adults consent than its not abuse. Like so many others, I have been abused physically, sexually, and psychologically… to this end I cannot abide verbal degradation or closed fists swinging in anger.

That said, on the days I am feeling numb, chaotic mentally, the lashes of physical pain give me something to focus on. When attempting meditation one uses mental exercises or recites a phrase. there are times in my life when that is effective. For days its not, physical pain gives me something which to start my focus so that my mind can follow suit once I hit that sub space.”  

Submissive female 5: “Love doesnt have to physically hurt. However, the some people enjoy the contrasting sensations of pain and pleasure as they are opposites and heighten the senses. It would have to be in the confines of safe, sane and consensual with open communication and explicit direction as to what is and is not acceptable in their dynamic.

There are multiple ways to both give and receive love (as seen in the 5 love languages by Dr. Gary Chapman) and no one way is correct for every person and people can have multiple love languages. However, love should not be fear based out of physical attacks”

Submissive female 6: “i think its about the difference. Just like how theres a difference between spanking a child and abuse. It should never be done out of anger but rather to give a reminder to not break the rules.

When its done for the pleasure of the one being hit, it should still never be done out of anger. The sub has some control with the use of limits and safe words that would not exist in an abusive situation.

there are a lot of reasons why pain can be pleasurable. it is a reminder of your endurance, it provides a special warm and tingly sensation that is unique, and a spanking can send a vibration down through the body that touches on other sensitive areas. 

i also like the sore feeling after a workout because it makes me feel strong and tough. plus the after care is so calming and affirming.”

Submissive female 7: “For me the purple bruises are beautiful reminders of my time with my Sir. I enjoy the spanks and hits to my ass and tits. i crave them from time to time. They are releases for me. Not punishments.

To me its not abuse because we have that trust and communication. The hits actually put me in a place where I dont think, but feel. it lets you just feel”


Notice the trends? consent… strength… thinking… feeling… trust… 

Hopefully this has shed some insight on the topic and given you a better perspective on the lifestyle and the way impact play is treated and regarded. 

18 years ago I remember my my mom being told over the phone that my brother would be spending 15 years in prison for gang related crimes and violence. He was barely a teenager. I was only 5 so I don’t remember much. But I remember my mom falling to the floor not being able to catch her breath. I remember seeing how much it broke her. I remember how much it eventually broke all of us. 18 years later and I’ve never seen her cry in the way she did, that night.

8 years ago I remember starting a new school, for the fourth time. Freshman year all the way until junior year I spent my lunches in the bathroom alone as I called my mom to keep me company, because I had no one else. I remember being an outcast, shy and nervous. I remember coming home crying after school every day praying for at least one friend. Hating myself for how “weird” I was. I call these years the lost years. I hated myself enough to ignore whatever I was. Even though, I was just me. I hated me.

4 years ago I remember it seemed like my entire life was crashing all at once. I came to realization with my sexuality, I fell in love with a girl who taught me so much about loving someone and how to be loved. Everything was perfect. Until we lost each other, leading to my first true heartbreak I ever had. Her religion kept us apart, and even out of each other’s life. The breakup was very sudden and heart aching. Just two weeks later my nephew had a seizure on his 15th birthday. No one knew the cause of it, it took doctors months to figure it out. He lost his ability to use his entire left side of his body, with severe bleeding in the brain. At 15, his life changed forever. A week later, my dad lands in the hospital for kidney failure. He couldn’t seem to shake the disease of alcoholism he’s been fighting since before I was even born. The doctor predicted a very short time frame to live. I remember how badly I cried over all three of these incidents, for almost a year straight. I remember praying to god to bring me someone to help cope, after losing my love, who was also my best friend. I remember being at work finding a quiet space to pray to god, as I cried, every day. I prayed so much for his help and strength. I thought I’d never get over it.

1 year ago I remember being in the most abusive relationship of my life. She would hit me in my sleep, forced sex on me as I refused, even in my sleep and refused to notice it as rape. She would threaten to kill me, call me fat. Cut me off from my friends and family. She would choke me until I cried, because that’s all she wanted to see. She wrecked my new vehicle I worked so hard for and put me thousands and thousands of dollars in debt. she played being the victim so well, that I had no one to be there for me. This was the very first time I ever not only thought, but also attempted suicide, and commonly self harmed myself.

I thought I’d never get over any of it.

It’s now 2017. It will be two years in June since my brothers been home, he’s married to his first love, with a one year old. He’s happy and he’s healthy and in love, my mom is married to a man who treats her in a way I’ve always hoped to see. My senior year of high school? It was beautiful. I not only met some amazing people, but I’ve grown to be more confident and love myself whether someone does or not. My nephew is now able to walk again and is currently gaining back his motor skills to speak again. My dad, he’s still alive and seems to be healthier than ever. Remember when I said I prayed for someone to be there for me? I soon after met my best friend Kathryn. Who has played a major role in my life and someone who I look up to everyday. She’s forever. And I finally built the courage to leave my abusive ex. It was terrifying, it was difficult but I did it. I learned to love myself again, it was a long and painful process but I did it. And I will continue to.

If I could tell my past self what I know now, it would be that things don’t last forever. And even the pain, sometimes it does stay but it’s something you learn to live with and soon enough appreciate, for reasons. Trauma happens, and sometimes more than once. But there’s so much comfort in knowing that a better day does exist. That no matter how bad things can be, there are better days. Hang in there, and take the moment to realize how far you’ve come. And appreciate the bad days for making the good ones so much more beautiful.

As bad as all of these are, as much as they all hurt and left marks upon me visible and not, it’s made me who I am today. I have a strong sense of self. I am proud of who I am and I love myself and understand who I am more than anyone else will and I don’t mind that. I enjoy my solitude and no longer cry or am scared when it occurs. And I’m aware of any unhealthy, toxic and abusive relations before they get close enough to me. What has happened made me strong, and has only made my heart ten million times bigger. And I want to spend the rest of my life helping and healing anyone I possibly can. Because I know I’m capable of doing so, and it is where I find the most happiness and comfort.. in another persons smile and forgiveness.

Keep on keeping on, all of you.

ANOTHER potential PP3 scene...
  • [BECA cautiously approaches CHLOE who is sat crying quietly at the edge of a small fishing lake that is oddly positioned beside the runway, presumably there before the army base was built. BECA says nothing and just sits beside CHLOE. They both look out at the lake in silence for a few moments.]
  • CHLOE: I didn't get into vet school.
  • BECA: I'm sorry Chlo.
  • CHLOE: *shakes head slightly* It's alright. I knew it was a long shot. They saw how many times I had to retake my senior year and...just presumed I wouldn't cope.
  • BECA: Well for what it's worth I'd accept you?
  • [CHLOE lets out a quiet, watery laugh before looking at BECA, who is already smiling softly at her]
  • CHLOE: And what school would that be?
  • BECA: *shrugs, shaking her head slightly* I hadn't quite got that far...
  • [CHLOE laughs again. They look at each other for a moment before looking back out at the lake.]
  • CHLOE: Being a grown up is so hard.
  • BECA: Ugh tell me about it!
  • CHLOE: Like, why don't they pre-warn you in college that once you leave that's it! All your dreams...they kinda...don't work out you know?
  • BECA: Mmm...
  • *pause*
  • CHLOE: I don't know what I'm gonna do.
  • BECA: *shrugs* You could come to LA with me?
  • [CHLOE pulls a face as though BECA has made a ridiculous unrealistic suggestion]
  • BECA: Dude I'm serious! DJ Khaled is wanting me to help produce his new record. I need to go to LA for that. And I'd hate to go alone. Why don't you come with me?
  • [CHLOE turns to BECA]
  • CHLOE: And do what?
  • BECA: Just...do whatever you want to do! Sight-see. Audition for movies or TV or theatre. Go to some classes. Find a dog-walking agency and walk celebrities dogs, I dunno!
  • [As BECA reels off things, CHLOE's smile slowly grows]
  • BECA: Take the time to find out to find out what's important...or whatever...
  • [They sit in silence for a couple of moments, looking at each other]
  • CHLOE: What about rent?
  • BECA: The label will be paying for the apartment while we're there. Anything else, I'll be able to pay for with my pay cheques. You wouldn't need to worry about a thing.
  • [CHLOE turns to look back out at the small fishing lake, biting her bottom lip as she contemplates the amazing offer.]
  • BECA: Chlo we can do this.
  • [CHLOE turns back to BECA when BECA reaches out and places a hand on her arm]
  • BECA: I want to do this.
IDKHBTFM is more than a band to Dallon (a conspiracy theory)

This is a more comprehensible format of the theory I posted a few days ago. It’s a bit of an odd theory but it’s my personal favorite. (!!! I didn’t come up with this; @/wethervanes on Twitter did) Let’s do this.
•Okay. So, we all know Dallon’s been doing some things outside of Panic!, right? (idkhbtfm) That’s what this theory is about, so buckle up bc it’s wild. Also, forgive me for randomly jumping around in this. I usually lose points on my essays for subpar topic organization.
•So, it’s kind of odd that Dallon always denies that he went to Emo Nite, and even denies IDK’s existence. (ex: “that’s not me”, “i don’t know what you’re talking about”, etc. you’ve seen the screenshots.)
•Relevant sidenote: Both Dallon and Breezy have tweeted about IDK as far back as 2009. A lot of artists plan out/tease “eras” ahead of time, like how Halsey was posting about HFK in 2015, but it was released this year.
•Different, but still relevant, sidenote: Dallon has said that after the Brobecks “plateaued”, Panic! was the last thing he’d pursue in music, because he wasn’t going as far as he (deserved) needed to and it was hurting him & his family. This was also around 2009. (gasp !!!)
•This is the part where the two sidenotes become something of a keynote (bigger gasp !!!) : if he had been planning IDK since 2009, he probably planned on pursuing it anyway, right? So, why is this all happening now? Pun fully intended, idk, but there are some ideas. (!!!)
•Y'all know Dallon’s being really weird when it comes to IDK, and he’s denying everything that has anything to do with it. The show on the 12th, Emo Nite/what he wore at Emo Nite, new music, etc.
•Obviously, he knows. It’s his own damn project. He can’t be clueless as to what’s going on. So, why does he act like it’s not him? Aunty Beth’s got an answer for you !!!
•Maybe, IDK is just something he doesn’t wanna acknowledge. And by IDK, I don’t mean the band (biggest gasp !!!) (fr follow me here) because Breezy has tweeted about IDK, so she knows about it (although even if she hadn’t tweeted about it she’s probably know bc like,,, that’s her husband but anyway). And Ryan Seaman obviously knows about it, because he’s in IDK, and had “I don’t know how, but they found me” as his bio on Instagram & Twitter and stuff like that.
•There’s allegedly an empty Soundcloud under IDK’s name, which, obviously, would be used for music. If it’s up now, that means there’s probably something coming soon. (Also there’s that video Dallon posted but that wasn’t a thing at the time this theory was created so it’s irrelevant to this)
•There’s also the small pieces of IDK songs we’ve heard. There’s a particular chunk that has people a little confused.
•"Stop, drop, drag me into place/Block (lock? idrk man) your fire escapes/I’ll break your fucking face"
-That’s pretty violent, obviously.
•So, what if IDK isn’t a band? What if it’s a character, a manifestation off all of the violent things Dallon thinks about ?(pun intended part 2)
•A lot of artists have personas/characters onstage and in their music. Melanie Martinez has Crybaby, Twenty One Pilots have [had (rip)] Blurryface, Beyoncé has Sasha Fierce (had? is she still doing Sasha Fierce?) etc.
•So, what if that’s what IDK is?
•We know that Dallon usually only swears (irrelevant sidenote: do y'all say curses or swears?) when he’s angry. In songs, sure, he’s sworn a few times, but usually he’s a very proper, generally inoffensive guy.
•He’s had violent lyrics before (Goodnight Socialite, Small Cuts, etc. The man has an album called “Violent Things”.)
•So basically, what if IDK is a character he uses to manifest all the bad shit he feels? Almost like a coping method for the violent, angry feelings most people hide?
•That’s why he “forgets” everything IDK does, and sweeps them under the rug. We all try to forget when we say or do something uncharacteristic of ourselves,!right?
•So, maybe IDK is the part of Dallon that no one “gets”, because it’s so complex and unlike himself. The side of him that’s angry and improper, unlike the chill, collected guy he generally is.
•IDK is his bad thoughts, the regrettable things he’s done, said, thought, etc. It’s his outlet for the negative things he feels. It’s an alter ego, for lack of a better term, that’s been growing for years, and he chooses to manifest it in music, because he can’t just do the shit he’s singing about. He wants to be blocking fire escapes and breaking faces. That’s Not Good™.
•Therefore, Dallon hides IDK as much as possible. He denies all of the pictures and videos because he doesn’t want people to know. He doesn’t want to be Exposed. So, when Dallon’s denying the silver jacket, he knows about it, he just doesn’t want us to.

((again: this isn’t my original theory !! it’s the brainchild of actual genius, @/wethervanes on Twitter !!!))

Liam Dunbar Imagine- You Still Love Him, Don't You?

Masterlist

Authors Note- Warning, this is a story of heartbreak as opposed to my usual writing.

There are things that happen in life, some things are just unavoidable and you get hurt. But nothing hurts more than watching the person you love fall for someone else. They always tell you it’s the chances in life you don’t take that your regret, but your biggest regret was letting yourself fall slowly in love with Liam Dunbar. You told yourself you weren’t going to fall in love, but he made you feel less cynical and you’d always be grateful for that. What you wouldn’t be grateful for is the state that you’re in now, the broken pieces of your heart that sill managed to find a way to love him. And yet behind all of the pain you managed to put on a brave face and act as if you’re happy for him. It’s selfish but you weren’t, you didn’t want to see him hurt as much as you but seeing him thrive with her, was much worse.

You placed your empty coffee mug on the counter top and picked up your bag as soon as you heard a car pull into your drive. You slipped on your white converse and headed out for another long monotonous day, which is your life. You climbed into the passenger seat in silence and clipped in your seatbelt. “Y/n…” he sighed, as he did every morning. “Brett, please spare me the lecture I’ve had a rough night okay” you shrugged, refusing to look up. “What did we agree on?” he patronised. “I need to at least try to move on” you whined sadly. He noticed by the twinge in your voice, let alone the chemo signals you were giving off that you were in so much emotional pain and it killed him to know there was nothing he could do to help someone, who doesn’t want to be helped. It sounds stupid when you say it out loud; that scrolling through Liam’s and Hayden’s Instagram pictures was enough to get yourself crying to sleep. Seeing them happy didn’t make you angry or bitter, it made you feel immense melancholy. Brett somehow managed to fill some of that void, he was your best friend and you couldn’t help but feel like shit for the way you treated him. When you first started dating Liam it was fun and exciting to watch Liam get jealous and overprotective when you hung out with his natural enemy but you didn’t think of how it was hurting him, being apart of a stupid game you enjoyed with love-struck eyes. “You don’t understand what it feels like” you muttered, knowing he could hear you behind all of your sadness. “You’re right I don’t, but I’ve watched my best friend go through it for the past six months. Not only that, I’ve watched her wallow in her own self piety” he said truthfully. “That’s not fair and you know it!” you snapped, in shock of his honesty. You knew it yourself but you didn’t want to admit it or hear someone else tell you what a complete loser you were being. “Y/n, you need to let him go because you’re not the only person you’re hurting by being like this” he shook his head. “How selfish of me, I feel so much better now, thank you for that beacon of hope” you rolled your eyes. “There you go again, taking it out on the people around you. Me and your other friends have been nothing but supportive of you. God, sometimes you make it so hard to be around you” he said involuntary, followed by a sigh after realising what he said really hurt you. “Pull up here, I’ll walk” you said, already taking off your seatbelt. “Don’t be stupid” he said with a faint laugh. “I’m not joking, fucking pull up” you shouted. He shook his head again and pulled up and within a second you were out of the car and you had begun walking down the street. Brett opened the window and began to apologise and call your name, but you simply ignored him and began to dial someone who was bound to give better advice.

“Come in” Lydia smiled. You were surprised she was actually at her house for once on a Saturday afternoon. You missed hanging out with her and the pack but things got too hard and complicated after you and Liam broke up, especially after he started dating Hayden. You missed them. You followed behind her into her bedroom, she was like an unbiological sister you just seemed to click with each other. “Malia and Kira will be here soon, we miss having you around” she said with a pout. You didn’t even open your mouth before she spoke again, “Somethings wrong, you’re still struggling to cope with the breakup” she judged accurately. You were going to deny it, but what was the point? You couldn’t cope, there was no point attempting to block it out all of the time. You also couldn’t help but think about what Brett said, he was right, you let the whole situation fuck you up so badly that you didn't appreciate the people trying to help you. You had just about enough time to catch Lydia up on everything that had been going on before the other two arrived. “Y/n!” Kira beamed as she ran in and hugged you. You returned the smile and hug. Malia walked in with a huge grin, which soon dropped after she smelt how upset you were. “What’s wrong with you?” she asked bluntly as she pulled you into a hug, it was her own way of showing concern. “You still love him, don’t you?” she asked uncharacteristically sympathetically. You simply dropped your head and nod. “I’m sick and tired of feeling like this” you claimed, your voice shaky and cracked. “I know it feels like the end of the world now, but trust me you’ll move on. But first you need to learn to have fun again” Lydia said, placing her hand on your shoulder. “I don’t need to have fun, I need to forget about Liam” you retort. “You should speak to him” Malia suggested, causing you and Lydia to stare blankly at her. “Absolutely not” you shook your head. “You should, maybe you need closure after how it all ended. Maybe after than you can finally move on” Kira agreed. “Not in a million years” you retaliated and Lydia agreed.

“I cant do this” you mumbled pacing back and forth. “You can and you’re going to” Malia stated. “Are you sure you want to do this?” Scott asked. You couldn’t answer, you wanted to but had no idea how to fabricate the thoughts in your mind. You couldn’t even answer Scott, how the hell was you supposed to handle Liam? “I feel sick” you wined. “Its now or never” Stiles agreed. Stiles was like a supportive big brother, he wasn’t fond of you and Liam dating in the first place and he just wished you’d get over it, so things could go back to how they used to be between you all. You couldn’t help but feel like you were the sole cause of the drift between you all, your stupid teenage hormones and mixed feelings had to ruin everything. “Here goes nothing” you breathed out, before heading off. “Where is she going?” Lydia asked as she joined with the others. “To find Liam” Kira answered. “You’re kidding!” Lydia raised her voice unintentionally. “We all agreed it was the best thing for her to do” Stiles tried to diffuse. “If she gets hurt, it’s on all of you” she exclaimed, before slamming her books on the table and sitting down with a sulk.

You turned the corner, between the two school busses, the place Liam first asked you out on a date. He was all sweaty from his Lacrosse game and you were starry eyed from watching him play with the rest of the pack. That sentimental place was now where Liam and Hayden make out between classes and to no surprise, there the two of them were, shoving their tongues down each other’s throats. It took Liam no more than a second to smell your familiar smell and hear your heart beating at an unnatural speed in your chest. When they pulled apart, Hayden had that giddy smile on her face but Liam’s was firm and regretful. Her smile dropped when she realised you standing there, with an awkward look and sad eyes. “I’ll catch up with you later” he mumbled. “Are you sure?” she asked, as if it was the most traumatic thing for him. You didn’t mean to roll your eyes or for her to see you do it. “I’ll catch up” he repeated, after smelling the anger radiate from her. She reluctantly trailed off, after giving you a disapproving look. Hayden wasn’t a bad person, you two just put the barriers up for each other, before giving friendship a chance. You weren’t jealous of her, you just felt stupid for introducing her to Liam, for them to drop you and start dating each other. You walked over nervously, while he stood there biting his lip and not looking at you. “Hey” you said, attempting to break the ice. He gave a small nod, the guilt cutting his vocal cords. You had been waiting for this moment and the time had finally come, and the first thing you chose to say was hey? How pathetic. “I’m not here to beg for an apology or because I’m clinging on to the last shred of hope that we will get back together. In fact, I’m not entirely sure why I’m here. I guess I just need closure for everything that happened” you admitted, which felt so good to say. “Uhm sure, what did you want to know?” he rubbed the back of his neck, he had never been good in awkward situations, but he owed it to you to at least try more than that. “Why did you leave me?” you leant your back against the school bus because your legs suddenly felt weak. “Y/n, come on” he mumbled, he had been avoiding that question for months. “Just tell me, you know yourself you cant cause me anymore emotional pain than you are right now” you said, which sounded more careless than you felt. “I’m not doing this” he exclaimed, holding his hands up in defeat before beginning to walk away. “That’s it Liam, do what you always do and walk away. Its all you’re ever good at” you shouted after him bitterly. He paused for a second, before turning back around to face you for the first time. “I left because I didn’t love you anymore” he shouted without thinking. He winced after hearing your heart break, it sounded like your ribs had snapped in two, but on the surface you looked like any other heart broken teenager. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it-” he began saying, feeling like a complete asshole. “You did mean it, behind every angry outbreak there’s truth. I cant believe I feel like this, for loosing someone who was never really mine” salty tears were already pouring down your face, which you could taste after every word you said. He stared at you blankly, he had no idea he could have done this to someone he had sworn to love and protect forever. “The truth is I should never of cared. But I did care. I cared a lot. And I still fucking care” you wiped the tears with your sleeve, no longer trying to scan his features for signs of remorse. To move on, you needed to put yourself first and stop wishing he would care as much for you as you did for him. “I am so sorry Y/n” he said, tears even welling in his eyes. You used to be best friends before all of this and now look at the pair of you. “Talking to you, brings back so many memories I’ve been trying to forget and I realise now. I realise that I cant let go of them- but I can take that and move on. There’s no point pretending I’m not hurt because I am but maybe that’s what I need” you rambled. “I don’t understand-” he said, confused by your sudden thought. “Someday this pain will be useful and Brett’s right, I need to stop feeling sorry for myself. The truth is, I came here hoping to leave with a friendship because I cant let you go and maybe one day we will have that, but for now all I’m going to say is- goodbye Liam” it killed you, but it was liberating getting that off your chest. “What do you mean goodbye?” he asked, he too feared loosing you even though he didn’t show it. You slowly exhaled and cracked a genuine smile for the first time in months. You gave him a sincere pat on the chest before walking away. You weren’t saying goodbye to him, but the memory of what it was. By no means did you get the closer you wanted, but you now knew what you needed to do.

Two Months Later

Moving on, the newest chapter in your life. There’s no point in pretending that life is now suddenly filled with rainbows and sunshine, it was hard but as time goes on your heart slowly mends itself. There were some nights were you cried and screamed so hard your body ached and you had to cover your mouth to stop anyone from hearing and there were some were you were happy, for yourself and for Liam. You still thought about him, but in a different way. You missed him but you no longer craved his attention. He taught you why storms were named after people, for the way they can destroy you so easily but also for the beauty of letting them in. You no longer woke up with a dry throat from crying or with a never ending headache but with a smile on your face. You survived heartbreak, one of the deadliest feelings someone can experience and you were proud of that. It may not seem like much to some people but you were beginning to conquer something you never thought you could.

You picked up your coffee and slipped on your shoes as you exited the house for school. You climbed into the car with a radiating happiness. “Someone’s in a good mood” Brett laughed as he pulled off your drive. “Who wouldn’t be happy on a Monday morning at 8am?” you joked. “I’m glad you’re back, as in the real you and not the total antisocial loser you were being” he claimed, while taking a sneaky sip of your drink while you were looking out of the window. “You don’t even miss her, even a little bit?” you asked. “Not even remotely” he said, not long after he arrived outside of your school. You thanked him, as you did every morning and stepped out of the car. “When are you getting your own licence?” he said, pretending to look at his watch. “You’ll totally miss me when I get my own licence” you retort. “I will” he admitted. “See you later” you smiled, which he returned. You walked over and joined Scott, Lydia, Kira, Malia and Stiles at your usual bench in the morning. “I love your top, so cute” Lydia exclaimed, examining your outfit. “Thank you, cute dress” you returned as she stood up to give you a twirl of her outfit. You looked up to see Liam and Hayden walking hand in hand from across the pitch. You smiled and gave a small wave, which shocked Hayden but she returned genuinely, soon after. Liam gave you the look, to show his gratitude for how you were choosing to be. It wasn’t forced, it was natural. You were coming to terms with everything and you were looking forward for what was going to come next or who. Life felt so much better without the negativity you were clouding your vision with, You had the love and support of your friends and with that you could do anything.

Different to what I usually write, but did you guys like it? Let me know. Requests are closed for the meantime x

The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that Eiffel is not simply someone who enjoys a good film; he is a man who uses stories as his fundamental way of understanding the world. Everyone creates narratives of their lives to some extent, but in Eiffel, story is at the centre of how he approaches the world.

  • Episode 51 really demonstrated how important stories are to Eiffel. There isn’t really a logical reason why making an NPR-esque radio show recapping everything that’s happened would be at all useful in working out what the aliens want. But that’s what Eiffel does, because a part of him believes that if he turn the events into a story, it will somehow make sense to him. 
  • Eiffel wants to tell the history of the Hephaestus like an exciting adventure of “brave men, women, and A.I. autopilot programs”, rather than the chaotic uncertain mess it is.
  • Even at the very beginning of the show, he doesn’t really believe that anyone listens to his audio logs, but he’s kept recording them and seems to really enjoy the storytelling aspect. He even sends his logs out into space for no apparent reason other than that he was bored and he likes the idea of someone hearing what he has to say. 
  • By recording the logs, he casts himself as the protagonist in a science-fiction story. This gives him a sense of control. He may not have any power over the star, or the working of the Hephaestus, or the plans of Goddard Futuristics, but he has control over the stories he tells himself about his life.
  • The only way he is able to talk about his past is by turning it into a fairy story, a tale that begins with ‘Once upon a time’ and has a 'good old-fashioned monster’.
  • The constant references aren’t just a way to keep himself entertained- they are a coping mechanism. By comparing everything and everyone around him to familiar stories/characters, he is trying to understand the situation they are in. In fiction, he finds a certainty that his life doesn’t currently have.
  • Even Eiffel’s Team-What’s-Wrong-With-Handcuffs mentality has its origins in a black-and-white morality learned from fiction, from narratives in which there are good guys and bad guys, and there are certain things the good guys don’t do (like napalming three people). I think heroes like Batman who have a firm personal code of conduct probably appeal quite a lot to Eiffel.
  • However there’s also a bad side to this approach. It’s partly this story-focused attitude that led to his lack of understanding in Episode 51. Doug sees himself as “not a bad guy” (as opposed to ‘Evil Incarnate Incorporated’) and so he struggles to acknowledge that he is hurtful to people around him. In his worldview, ‘good guys’ don’t do bad things.

anonymous asked:

Sense the SDCC thing, I've been seeing a lot of art and fics that are dragging Kara/Supergirl. Like I get that some people are upset at the actors but the characters have nothing to do with any of this. I started watching the show because I read the comics when I was a kid, I just loved Supergirl as a hero. It's really kind of upsetting. They're treating a character like shit because they don't like something the person who portrays them did.

So this is a long dissection of the current Supergirl fan behavior, but if you’ve been wondering what the hell is going on, you might be interested in reading these concepts.

I understand why you’re upset. I am too, because Kara is such a wonderful character. I don’t think I’ve ever liked a character as much as her.

But there are two things you should realize when seeing this:

1. They never really cared about Kara to being with. Your loved Kara-focused content isn’t changing or leaving, because these people were not making the Kara content. They were likely initially making Supercorp Lena-focused content.

2. It’s not even about her.

I think what a lot of people who are newly joining this SDCC homophobia discussion are missing is that a lot of the most vicious backlash is not from people who are uniquely upset over this issue (though there are certainly people who are- and understandably) but from people who have had consistently overzealous reactions of hate toward actors and characters alike, save their fave (pretty much Katie Mcgrath/Lena Luthor).

On tumblr, and very noticeably in this fandom, there are sections of fans who seem to genuinely enjoy hating things. It’s a sport.

They’re having fun sending the most hurtful things they can think of to actors, and are the quickest to begin making vicious memes and jokes surrounding a negative event, before there has been a consensus within the community of how bad the “sin” was.

The “punishment” begins before the jury is out, and trying to defend those in the situation feels like trying to put a bullet back into a gun after it’s been fired. 

(Maybe it’s more like stepping in front of a bullet, because once these few have decided that the target is guilty, they won’t stop, and anyone who disagrees with them is guilty, too. Blogs and actors alike.)

This is partially why my discussion of the SDCC event had a “are they homophobic” slant (other then that I believe the nature of the event itself- if it was homophobic- hinges on the feeling behind the words, unlike most other instances of homophobia. It’s complicated and some people understandably disagree so far, but it’s really how I see it and I’ll be talking more about it a little later in different posts).

People started calling Melissa and Jeremy homophobic right away. Started targeting Kara as a character. Started “spite shipping” Lena and Reign. 

Or alternative to these options- immediately fan re-casted Kara as someone else to still be able to ship Supercorp. 

From where I stand, if you can so easily let go of this characterization of Kara, you never really cared about her as a character to begin with. If you don’t know that this was The™ person to play Kara Danvers, you’re likely more invested in the role she plays for Lena than for her as herself. 

And regardless of gender, I am uninterested in ships in which one character exists for the sake of another. (Lena existing purely for the sake of Kara’s development squicks me, too)

Recasting a woc as Kara doesn’t sit well with me either, for that reason. It’s a similar concept to how Maggie must exist as her own complex and valued person, apart from Alex, because she is a character of color.

I can’t really read the minds of these people, and I guess I could be wrong, but it’s hard for me to imagine actual Kara fans recasting her in this way.

Essentially, a lot of these people, or at least a very vocal minority, are so quick to accept that something horrible has happened because they want an excuse to hate them. 

They like it. 

Maybe it’s because they’re upset with the way society is and want someone to suffer for it. Maybe it’s because they have unresolved anger in their lives. 

But as it stands, it appears as if these people are using moral rightness and social activism as an excuse to be as mean as they want.

And like @youngbloodbuzz said in the link above, you start to look at their past behaviors in a new light. Were they genuinely upset at characters? Actors? Did they really feel like a travesty was occurring? That someone needed protecting?

Or were they just looking for reasons to call someone a “stupid cunt”?

It’s like they’re genuinely thinking, “It’s okay for me to make fun of someone’s physical appearance, call them intense names, make memes about how horrible they are innately, and send them death threats because they said something problematic once that a lot of people will hear.”

Sometimes they’ll call it “coping”, and maybe some people truly believe that makes it okay. But coping mechanisms are not above reproach.

If I hurt someone because I’m upset about something- even if I hurt someone because they did something wrong- it doesn’t erase the fact that I hurt them. We are still responsible to how we react to bad situations. We are still responsible for not reacting in an overly inflated way. 

Sometimes people will focus on how those that they’re attacking have more of a responsibility to be good people. That they are but mere bloggers, screaming into the void. They can’t possibly be accountable for how they behave. 

“I’m tired of talking about how bad the fans are, we should be focusing on what they did wrong!”

It creates an atmosphere in which an honest mistake from a well known person is much more crucifiable than the purposeful cruelty of the fans. We’re discouraged from criticizing popular blogs because the person they’re attacking has a wider audience and larger consequences for mistakes, as if popular bloggers don’t reach and influence thousands of people and as if we aren’t allowed to shape the way our own community functions.

Meanwhile, people who genuinely value morality and social activism fall prey to this thinking. They’ll even join in on the action, because they think it’s a moral act. 

Rebellion, somehow. Righteous fire. 

It’s a twisted mindset that spreads because people are afraid to be on the wrong side of morality.

Even people who really think the reaction is “too far” are quiet about it because they agree with the fact that what the offending celebrity did was wrong, and see that the level of vitriol for them now is overwhelming.

This is how I imagine that people who believe Melissa and Jeremy’s words to be homophobic but who do not think a couple of mistakes makes someone pure evil are relating to the current tumblr dialogue: 

“Wow this thing was homophobic!”

“Huh, yeah, I agree. Maybe not intentionally, but yeah.”

“That means this person is homophobic!”

“Uh, well, not sure I’d go that far-”

“Oh and look at this other somewhat problematic thing they did a while ago”

“Hmm well that’s bad, but not everyone outside of social activism gets that that’s a bad thing, so I can see-”

“Wow did you hear that this person also has an opinion about the show that I disagree with! What the fuck is wrong with them?”

“Oh. Well I actually agree with them in that situation but-”

“Omg they think that their character is like this! Do they know them at all??? What kind of terrible actor doesn’t know their character?”

“Well that’s a pretty common way that people are reading this character. Just because you-”

“Here’s some conjecture about their personal life that I imagine happened that paints them in a bad light.”

“Well, you don’t know that, but either way you shouldn’t be diving into their personal-”

“Oh and here’s a totally real story from an anon about someone they know who knew this person in the past and says they were a jerk at this one point-”

And it becomes too much. If you don’t really love the actor, really love their character, you either extract yourself from the group or you ignore the opinions you disagree with. 

It becomes quite clear that these people want to feel this way and won’t be changing any time soon.

And the more there seems to be a consensus about the issue, the less willing people are to speak out, for fear of rejection.

The Spiral of Silence theory is a good way to explain it:

To avoid isolation, people tend to refrain from publicly stating their views on controversial matters when they perceive that doing so would attract criticism, scorn, laughter, or other signs of disapproval. 

Conversely, those who sense that their opinions will meet with approval tend to voice them fearlessly and at times vociferously. 

Indeed, speaking out in such a way tends to enhance the threat of isolation faced by supporters of the opposing position, reinforcing their sense of being alone. 

Thus a spiraling process begins, the dominant camp becoming ever louder and more self-confident while the other camp becomes increasingly silent.

Importantly, the spiral of silence occurs only in connection with controversial issues that have a strong moral component. What triggers a person’s fear of isolation is the belief that others will consider him or her not merely mistaken but morally bad. Accordingly, issues that lack a moral component or on which there is general consensus leave no room for a spiral of silence.

Additionally, I believe that if someone does speak out against the (perceived) majority, it is most likely to be someone who is very strongly opposing of it.

A person who believes “It isn’t homophobic at all! They are innocent!” is more likely to voice their disagreements than “Okay I agree with your assessment of the situation but I think maybe we’re being too harsh…”

So the “minority”- who could technically very well be the quiet majority (people with middle-ground opinions just don’t get as many followers)- stays quiet. 

They might even change their minds to agree with the “majority”, over time. 

Believing that the mindset of the group that you belong to is wrong is psychologically uncomfortable, so it is not uncommon for someone to try to adjust their thinking to fit those they feel connected to.

So, eventually, the only people who are speaking at all are those “majorities” who hate these people. Or those who act like they do for notes.

And then this thinking escalates amongst those still talking about it (remember: because it’s fun for them and they want to milk it for as long as possible) and it quickly translates to hating their character, once they’ve temporarily run out of material to be angry with the actor for.

So, back to your concern, how long until, “it’s hard to look at Melissa as Kara right now, because of how I fear she might feel about gay people” becomes something like “Mon-El is abusive, but Kara can choke so whatever” ?

(And on that note, one should consider how much they really wanted to protect Kara Danvers’ characterization from Mon-El’s influence, and how much was just a part of their hate-hobby.)

Maybe it won’t go that far. I hope it doesn’t. I hope people come to their senses about this.

But it’s escalated even since yesterday, when I started making this post. The language being used to describe Melissa when she is speaking normally, about normal things that some people have a difference of opinion on, is abhorrent. 


So if you’re just trying to enjoy fandom in a peaceful and creative way, I encourage you to watch how the people you interact with react when something negative happens.

Are they disheartened? Crushed? Are they considering leaving the show and it’s fandom? Writing serious essays about how they’re hurt?

…Or do they come alive?

Are they incredibly angry, and then making jokes immediately? Memes and edits and creative content more so than they do on a peaceful day? Do you get the sense that they aren’t going anywhere, for a long time, even though they don’t seem to enjoy anything about the show?

Then you might be better off unfollowing them.

Of course, not everyone who makes a joke about negative things is thus enjoying it. It makes people feel better to make light of situations as well as to express anger, and doing so doesn’t necessarily mean that they’re drama-seeking.

And sometimes people slip into the mob more than they would like to have, retrospectively. Say cruel things that they regret later. 

It happens, and tumblr can be a persuasive and pervasive place. 

If you follow someone who initially reblogs some slightly overly hateful things, but who then backs off after the first wave, they probably aren’t the kind of person who is fueled by anger. 

I’ve seen a lot of people I considered to be level-headed get wrapped up in overly aggressive, black and white thinking during the initial reaction to events.

But then sometimes, a couple of weeks later, they’ll post a tentative “Anyone else still wanna kinda like this thing, even though we said it was bad before?” and they’ll get enough approval via reblogs to feel like it’s okay to go back to normal.

Some blogs quietly sort themselves out, in the end.

And if you’re one of those people who goes overboard occasionally, I get it. 

You’re hurt and you didn’t realize that the basis for the fan reaction that you were involved in was morally shallow. That the people you were supporting were not righteously furious, but using righteousness as an excuse to be furious.

But remember the message here: people make mistakes. It’s the patterns that really tell you who they are.

And I think we can be better. Have better patterns, as a group.


In the end, I encourage you to point out when a reaction is too harsh, toward anyone. Even if it’s difficult. Even if you agree that what the person did was pretty bad.

Agreeing that “black and white thinking” is bad can feel like you’re lowering your standards for morality. But I promise, you can still value the things that you value and loathe the things that go against it, without condemning someone’s entire personhood based on a mistake or a handful of mistakes regarding those things.

Even big mistakes.

People are complicated. We are all made up of really good things and really bad things.

It’s easy to believe that someone is wholly bad when they screw up.

The hard part, the part that will ultimately ground you and help you mature, is realizing that someone can have some really bad parts within them and still be good people. (I encourage you to remember that when thinking about yourself, as well.)

The trick is recognizing the difference between when people are making honest mistakes that unintentionally hurt people, and when they’re willfully behaving a certain way because they want to hurt people (or don’t care that they will). 

And further, between when people are lashing out because they’re hurt and when people are inventing hurt to be able to lash out.

These distinctions will help you realize who you can guide or trust to work their issues out on their own when they slip up, and who you should distance yourself from.

Some very vocal portions of the fandom are, unfortunately, the latter.

anonymous asked:

All I want,,,,, is missing earth with the paladins,, jus give me pidge and lance talking about their favorite show and "man I wonder how many episodes I've missed" and then now they both know that the other likes the show all they do is make references. And hunk and shiro talking about earth food and hunk going out whenever possible to get earth food to make everyone feel a little better and keith talking documentaries and missing earth's horizon and all of them bonding over missing earth please

Yes to all of this.

Give me Pidge and Lance speculating about what’s happening in the newest season of their show back on Earth and eventually creating their own alternate canon and developing their own plot.  

Give me Lance and Pidge trying to give shitty explanations and renditions of what has already happened in their shows to Hunk, Shiro, Keith, Allura, and Coran so they can rope them in to acting out characters/voices in “new episodes” that Pidge and Lance create.

Give me a Hunk who bakes and cooks to cope with his stress and anxiety about being in a completely foreign environment with no guarantee of when (or if) he’ll see home again.  And who shares his coping mechanism with Shiro, who has to deal with the added pressures of being leader and fighting against aliens that are the very cause of his trauma.

Give me a Hunk and Shiro who work together to develop recipes that taste similar to the paladin’s favorite foods back on Earth.  Who teach the others how to recreate the recipes, giving them all an activity they can do and reminisce about together, and who recreate family dinners like the ones they had back on Earth.

  Give me a Keith who is surprisingly good at explaining how things work back on Earth to Allura and Coran because not all of the documentaries he watched were conspiracy documentaries.  Keith rambling about his conspiracies to Coran, who takes him seriously and even tells Keith about weird rumors and theories back on Altea.  Keith telling random facts he can remember from documentaries to Allura, who wants to learn more about the planet her paladins came from.  

Give me a Keith who info dumps what he can remember from his documentaries to the other paladins, who absorb it all eagerly and offer whatever facts they can remember since they’re all scared of forgetting about things on Earth.

anonymous asked:

may i request Bakugou finding out about fem! reader's secret love for him after she dies in a tragic accident? make it as angsty as you want~ i totally understand if you don't want to write it

Something I noticed about new age reader fanfiction is that people really love seeing themselves die in it… me too fam LMAO. ♡☆ 
this got long lol and i suck at angst but enjoy writing it

Bakugou Katsuki
[ “Today, we will take a moment of silence for our fellow student ____, who was in heroics class 1-B. She was involved in a villain-related accident, and passed away yesterday. Please be respectful and quiet.” ]

Bakugou breaks his pencil suddenly, shocked about the announcement over the intercom. What?? She’s.. she’s gone?! No wonder why she didn’t answer any group texts yesterday. Something starts to nag in the back of his mind, trying to get his attention, but he ignores it, focusing instead on everyone else in the class. This is no time for him to be showing grief.

[ “Thank you for your participation. Please continue in your studies.” ]

The first to start sobbing is Mina, which is something that catches him off guard. Momo and Jirou rub at her back, unable to find words to comfort her. Mina just curls in on herself, and Aizawa-sensei lets her and some of the other girls leave the room to calm down.

“Man, that must be extra hard on her. They became really close due to their quirks.” Denki whispers to Kirishima, Sero nodding along. “Mina talked a lot about how she admired her. I’ve talked to her a few times as well”

“Do you guys wanna take her out for ice cream later or something?? She is part of squad, after all.” Sero suggests towards Bakugou, and he props himself on his desk with an elbow.

“Whatever.” is his only reply. He feels choked up

“Oh wait, Bakugou! Didn’t she switch to work under Best Jeanist after a while??” Kirishima asks, then notices the broken pencil in his hand. “Are you okay??” Bakugou feels his temper flare, feeling a bit threatened.

“Stop being nosy! I’ll kill you,” He bites, and Kirishima apologizes. Bakugou just turns his attention towards the blackboard, fed up with his little group of followers.

The walk to the ice cream shop is filled with a lot of silence, which has Bakugou wanting to just go back to the dorms. Mina’s back to joking around, but it sounds more like a coping method than genuinely her persona. Bakugou excuses himself to go use the bathroom at the shop, feeling a little suffocated over everything today. 

“Bakugou-kun,” He turns to face Mina, who’s looking at him with a serious expression, unlike herself. He raises a brow, letting her know he’s listening. “I just… Wanted to give this to you. I feel that since you’ve known her for a while you deserve to read it.” She hands him a small notebook. The edges are worn, and the pages are slightly yellowed. It looks like it’s been through a bit. He takes it from her.

“[July 7th]
Today I was invited to go hang with some people from 1-A! Even though Monoma-kun talks a lot of negative things about them, I find them really fun and great. Ochaco-chan complimented me on my haircut, so I was really happy that people thinks it looks nice- I was worried that I looked a bit off, haha☆. 

Other than that! Bakugou-kun was really nice to me today?? Or nice for him, at least. I don’t think he really realizes it, but he’s really handsome when he’s not screaming. But I think every Bakugou-kun is handsome, anyways.♡
Plus Ultra!”

Bakugou squints at the journal entry. After scouring through multiple pointless entries about lessons and how much super rare steaks Tetsutetsu can eat in one sitting, they start to slowly turn into other things– things about him.

“[August 28th]
Today’s really warm for the end of August! I went swimming with Manga-kun. He’s a really good friend of mines, I’m glad I met him! While we were talking, he asked me about Bakugou-kun!!! He told me that I happen to stare at him a lot, how embarrassing!! But he’s right– ever since the sports festival, my eyes just kind of wander towards him.

Recently, while working under Best Jeanist, I’ve gotten really close to Bakugou-kun. He’s actually really smart, despite showing off more of the Brawn part. He even told me about some strategies for battling. I kind of hope him and I can get closer at some point! I really like him♡♡♡♡… But I don’t think I’m his type lol.
Plus Ultra!”

That feeling nags at his head again, and makes him close the book quickly. What the fuck. What the hell is wrong with him?? Yeah, he’s really upset that she’s gone– everyone is! That was…

He recognizes the feeling of tears running down his face, and wipes them away like they were scorching his skin. Bakugou Katsuki doesn’t cry. He’s not a wimp, crying is for wimps, he…

He sits up, flipping through the book quickly, aggressively.

“Bakugou-kun kind of complimented me today! I’m glad!”

“Bakugou-kun says he’s not my friend a lot, but he still hangs out with me around the office! lol”

“I hope Bakugou-kun feels the same way about me, too…”

The ink of one of her doodles gets ruined by a few tears. The nagging in his brain gets to be too much to handle

“You fucker, why didn’t you tell me?? Why did you run away from telling me?” He whispers, white knuckled by how hard he was holding the notebook. “I would’ve responded, I would’ve agreed! And now you’re dead, and I…”

He feels weak. Everything feels wrong.

How The Moon Signs Should Chill Tf Down
  • Aries: Chill with the raged passion - sometimes people have different perspectives, and whilst you're not wrong, becoming heated and aggressive isn't going to make you any more right
  • Taurus: Chill with the stubbornness - it's nice to let go of silly things because they just waste energy, no one is gonna judge you for being wrong, so don't waste energy trying to make something right if I can't be! 1 and 1 can't be 5!
  • Gemini: Chill with the chilling - I know you're just trying to get through things the best you can, but sometimes things get worse when you don't care enough, so go the extra mile to show your friend you're sorry instead of 'letting it all brush over'.
  • Cancer: Chill with the reasoning/bargaining - some things just happen, some people just leave, and sometimes people are to blame. But that doesn't mean you can make who is to blame (even if it's you) feel bad, and it also doesn't mean it can change. Let go and move onto happiness.
  • Leo: Chill with the pride - pride is great and we should all have pride because we're all awesome, but occasionally pride (in the sense of knowing you are right on perhaps a subject or matter) can get in the way of friendships or other things.
  • Virgo: Chill with the blaming - whether it's on you or someone else, some things don't need blame. Things just happen and we must find a way to cope, not put someone at fault. It'd be better for you and whoever involved to move on rather than look back and point fingers.
  • Libra: Chill with the worrying - I know it upsets you when people think wrong of you or think you did them wrong, but I promise this situation means nothing and is probably a big fuss over nothing. You don't have to feel guilty.
  • Scorpio: Chill with the meddling - you can get easily caught up in others lives and emotions, and whilst you make a great rock, it's not on you to support them constantly, especially if you may be doing more damaged. Withdraw and look after yourself.
  • Sagittarius: Chill with the achieving - this has to be the most productive and intelligent (not just academically) moon I know. You do so well and what you aim for and I want you to know you're allowed a break! Go relax, tiger!
  • Capricorn: Chill with the calculating - risks are there to be taken and I know sometimes that scares you, but I also know living your life in the caution zone won't make you happy. Try a risk you want to take and cling to it like you mean it!
  • Aquarius: Chill with the helping - I'm sure I'm not the only one to notice that actually Aquarius is one of the most friend-oriented and helpful moons, and whilst they can take time to themselves, they outta do it more! Take a chill day!
  • Pisces: Chill with the excusing - you have a habit to excuse others actions whether against you or not. You are allowed to feel wronged and not like someone if it's justified, so let your inner lion roar!