this is how i cope with the finale

hi!! as you may have realized, i’ve been going kinda mia the last weeks. i’m actually taking a small hiatus for numerous reasons: i’m right into my finals, and i really wanna pass so i can keep living in Paris ; i also had problems with getting internet into my new apartment and i still have no wifi access (fuck me). on top of that, i’ve been feeling very depressed recently. instead of letting it swallow me, i’m trying to develop healthy coping mechanism, like going out, making projects, keeping myself active (also sleeping a lot). and i started reflecting on myself intensely too, and thinking about how i wanna come out, my identity, getting in touch with my vietnamese roots, my transition, etc. it’s a lot of work for me and that means i physically and emotionally cannot spend as much time on tumblr interacting with people. so yeah, i’ll go back to tumblr once i can, see ya ( ´ ▽ ` )ノ

Top 10 moments when ACOMAF shattered my heart in the best way possible

Okay, now that I’ve spent my whole week just living and breathing about ACOMAF… re-reading ACOMAF… and just thinking about it obsessively and telling ALL my friends about it… I feel like now it is a good time to post this. I’m going to post my top 10 moments in ACOMAF where MY HEART BROKE. And I hope you guys can agree–because this fandom is one soul, and we ride and die together.  

10. When Feyre comforts Rhysand after waking him up from his nightmare.

Like first of all, OW. It just breaks my heart over and over to think about what Amarantha did to Rhys, and what scars it left behind. 

But… what broke my heart more was this:

“But–but how many nights had I wanted someone to do the same for me?” 

AND I’M JUST LIKE FEYRE SUFFERED ALONE IN THE SPRING COURT 

Because some stupid High Lord of the Spring Court just pretended to be asleep whenever she vomited her guts out, and pretended everything was all fine and dandy. You claim to love her, and yet, you let this happen. tamlin u shit bag

9. Lucien and Feyre reunion after Feyre goes to the Night Court. 

You gave up on me.” 

Look, guys, I know Lucien is not a bad person. Deep down, he is a good, troubled person who has a lot of his own scars, and I know that he does consider Feyre to be his friend and he does care about her. But he also chooses to yield to Tamlin at the end of everything. He does fight for her, but he doesn’t fight enough against Tamlin. Now, this could be because Tamlin does instill a lot of fear in Lucien–which, if it’s true, it is not a healthy friendship, even if Tam is Lucien’s High Lord. But it makes me wonder, you know. Where is our fiery Lucien, who once spat at Tamlin’s feet? I really do hope that Elain will help him change for the better. Or that he comes to this realization from himself. Man, I love Lucien, but he’s going to have to do a lot more to redeem himself. 

Because, see, even Rhys thinks that Lucien would’ve stepped in.

And this breaks Feyre’s heart, that her friend wouldn’t do this for her. And she would’ve fought for Lucien until the end, no doubt about. 

“I thought so, too” HA HA HA LET ME LIE IN MY OWN PUDDLE OF TEARS

8. The scars that remain with Rhys because of Amarantha. 

The next scene that broke my heart happens during the sexytimes between Feyre and Rhys.

Okay, just re-reading this scene is making me really emotional. So I don’t know if I’m going to be coherent enough to say this. But like, guys. I think this scene is important–and heartbreaking at the same time–because it’s a moment where Rhysand’s scars are acknowledged. Again, it is so rare in YA fiction to see a male character who has been sexually abused, and Sarah explores the scars that remain within Rhysand. And it’s also important because he’s also able to overcome these scars, and find happiness even after the darkest of times.

7. How Rhysand is treated in Velaris vs. Under the Mountain

Okay, so I like how 8 and 7 relate to each other. 

What struck me about this scene was: “no one whispered about him or spat on him or stroked him as they had Under the Mountain”

What really breaks my heart here is that it’s not just Amarantha that violated Rhys. Others did it too, because Amarantha did it, because Rhys was Amarantha’s whore, and therefore, her property. 

And this makes me really sick to my stomach. And it breaks my heart. fuck

6. Feyre realizing how sad she is at the Spring Court before her wedding. 

THIS PHYSICALLY HURTS

my poor baby Feyre 

I spent a good portion of time during the beginning of the novel wanting to wrap her in a warm blanket, hug her, and tell her it’s okay. 

And Tamlin, CAPTAIN OBLIVIOUS, is able to laugh freely. I’m gonna fight him

Even Rhys in Chapter 11 goes: “Months and months, and you’re still a ghost. Does no one there ask what the hell is happening? Does your High Lord simply not care?” (Shall we count this as like an honourable mention moment for when my heart broke into a million pieces… again) 

ha ha ha ha let me DIE my heart can’t take this 

5. Rhysand asks Feyre about her birthday. 

This isn’t a sad scene, but it still moved me and broke my heart because you can obviously tell how much Rhys loves Feyre.

FEYRE’S BIRTHDAY IS THE WINTER SOLSTICE

THE LONGEST NIGHT OF THE YEAR 

“YOU WERE TRULY BORN ON THE WINTER SOLSTICE?” 

YES RHYS MY SMOL SON YOUR MATE WAS BORN ON THE LONGEST NIGHT OF THE YEAR YES YOU TRULY BELONG TOGETHER

But also, like. Rhys seems genuinely sad that Feyre did not celebrate her birthday. Do I foresee belated birthday gift/party in ACOTAR 3? Because yes I will sell my soul for this 

4. Feyre walking away from Rhysand after learning about the mating bond

Okay, no, I totally understand why Feyre is angry enough that she wants some time alone away from Rhysand once she learns from the Suriel that they’re mates. I’ve seen people hating on her for it… but c’mon. Really? You don’t think you’d be angry? Angry enough to walk away? I mean I’d want my own space to think too

But yeah it still broke my heart because Rhysand just calls after her… injured and weakened… ahaha…..ha…. why…

Now we’re rolling into the final 3… and honestly, these broke my heart the most and made me cry. I still want to weep when I think about them. 

3. Rhysand noticing Feyre’s weight loss 

He cares so much about her. *UGLY WAILING* *falls to the floor*

And he makes sure she eats properly. And wants to have breakfast with her. 

RHYSAND YOU PRECIOUS SOUL

cue ugly sobbing, with the snot and everything 

rhysand calling tam out on his shitty behaviour

2. Cassian and Feyre training 

This is still one of my favourite scenes, and I … just. The whole scene leading up to it is an emotional roller coaster–Cassian saying that he’s there for Feyre if she wants to talk about leaving the Spring Court, the whole “I’m fine” thing, and how Feyre just realizes she did everything for Tamlin… and he just…. left her to suffer alone.

He’s ready to take the blow. 

CASSIAN WOULD TAKE THE BLOW. 

BECAUSE HE CARES ABOUT FEYRE AND WANTS TO HELP HER COPE. 

BECAUSE HE UNDERSTANDS.

Rhys is precious, Cassian is precious….. the whole Night Court squad is precious. I just love them so muchhhhhhh. 

And now. .  . okay. 

The final scene had me in full blown tears. 

1. Amren x Feyre 

SHE ASKS RHYS THIS LIKE 3 TIMES

SHE DEMANDS TO KNOW WHERE FEYRE IS 

AND AND AND AMREN ISN’T ALWAYS VOCAL ABOUT HER FEELINGS AND SHE’S SCARY AND SHE’S VICIOUS

BUT SHE LOVES FEYRE

I JUST

IT’S THE MOMENT YOU REALIZE HOW MUCH AMREN–AND THE REST OF THE COURT–ALSO LOVE FEYRE, A FELLOW DREAMER 

I’M DEAD 

D E A D 

LOWER ME TO THE GROUND 

This post also made me very emotional again. Thanks for reading. And if you know want to discuss ACOMAF with me, and the scenes that broke your heart (because there are like 10 million more)… feel free to shoot me a message. 

I’m gonna go read ACOMAF some more and cry by e 

Series Rewrite: Season One - Masterpost

What if Jess never died in the fire? 

You and your little sister, Jess, get dragged into the hunting life, whether you like it or not. How will Jess cope with a life on the road? How will Dean cope with two women joining the hunt for his father? How will Sam cope with trying to protect the love of his life from this terrible world? How will you cope when you realise that all you knew about the world was wrong?

Updated every Tuesday (unless I post that it’s gonna be late) - warnings by episode

Pilot 

Wendigo

Dead In The Water

Phantom Traveler

Bloody Mary 

Skin

Hook Man 

Bugs

Home 

Asylum (drabble) 

Scarecrow

Faith

Route 666 (drabble)

Nightmare

The Benders

Shadow

Hell House

Something Wicked 

Provenance

Dead Man’s Blood

Salvation

Season Finale

Devil’s Trap

Season Two - Coming July 2017

Honestly this season only makes sense to me if The Six Thatchers is “written” by Mycroft, trying to cover up Mary’s murder; The Lying Detective is “written” by Sherlock, his mind palace trying to cope with the fallout surrounding her death; and The Final Problem is “written” by John, an insane horror dream after he’s been shot and is bleeding out. It’s the only way I can make all the pieces fit together.

5

Derek x Reader

Requested By @dontyouwishyouhadlove


You smiled at the little gift Derek had sent, it was a picture of the two of you, a few Hale siblings and cousins were squished in as well, you could never remember all their names. It was just like Derek to add to your hoard of photos, in fact you wondered if he sent you the pictures so they’d survive, he was forever bending or accidentally washing photos and bits of paper so it wouldn’t surprise you.

When you pulled up in the drive your front door swung open and your brother launched himself down the porch so he could yank open the door.

“I’ve missed you so much!” Scott sighed and you chuckled as you ruffled his hair.

“You saw me at gradation.” You chuckled and he rolled his eyes.

“Yeah and then we’ve had to wait for months so you could finish up there and come back home.” You groaned as he yanked you out of the car and into the house.

Keep reading

Reasons why self dx is good from the pov of a professional
  1. Therapists/Specialists are not omnipotent. There are a lot of different mental disorders and disabilities that you could literally study for five years and still don’t know everything about. If you don’t know enough about a condition to see its signs in a person (which many therapists actually don’t because the only thing they really know about illnesses that are less common are the DSM/ICD criteria for it. However, these criteria are not enough for a diagnosis and sometimes even too vague to pick up the signs for an illness in a person. I honestly don’t want to know how many people are misdiagnosed with a common mental condition but actually have a rare one that’s just pretty similar to the common one) than you gonna miss a lot as a therapist. And many therapist do miss a lot.
  2. Therapists are biased. Therapists are only people. Just like normal people, they are not immune against stereotypes and prejudices. Because specialists hardly ever teach you at uni but only in special courses that you have to take in order to specialize as well, we actually learn a lot of stereotypes and prejudices because the people teaching us interpret the information they have in a wrong way because they don’t know more about it. A person who is currently studying to become a therapist needs to be aware of that and do their own research in order to get useful information, however most aren’t even aware of how wrong the things that they’re learning are because they have, like everyone else, the bias to trust people like professors that they actually know a 100% what they’re talking about (even though many actually ADMIT that they don’t know anything about it). This is another bias that’s pretty common in people, widely researched and again not something therapists and specialists are immune to.
    If you, for example, know that autism isn’t common in girls, then you won’t look for it  in girls and are likely to oversee the signs because you think that autism is too rare in girls. And additionally, to recognize autism in girls, a specialist needs to be aware that the symptoms show differently in afab and amab people which again, many “specialists” don’t because that’s not taught in class. You need to teach things like that to yourself or actually specialize on the condition.
  3. Literally every disorder that is known today is still being researched. And probably will not even exist like this in a few years anymore because the research might show that some symptoms are more important than those on the DSM V/ICD 10 that we have right now or they’ll maybe even find out that something that they diagnosed as one condition is actually two conditions (for example, for decades schizoid personality disorder was diagnosed as autism because both conditions create similar symptoms in many points. However, research showed that they differ in very important points and are actually two different conditions. I don’t even want to know how many people were misdiagnosed and mistreated because of that.)
  4. Therapists only have a limited view on their clients. They can’t look inside your head, they can only try to form an image of them by doing a metaphorical puzzle - they  have to look for the small things, the signs and symptoms and put the together in a way that actually makes sense and matches the symptoms of a disorder. If you don’t tell them everything - which you won’t (frankly because you don’t even remember everything when talking to your therapist or because you view some information as useless and don’t give it to your therapist that would actually be vital for the right diagnosis), - you can be sure that there will always be holes in your diagnosis. There will always be something that your therapist won’t take into account. That doesn’t mean that every diagnosis by a professional is wrong, therapists are often right. However, you know yourself better than anyone else. If you realize that you do/feel something that your therapist oversaw, than you are probably right and it might be worth digging into (even though I would advice talking about it with your therapist or someone else who knows you well enough to form an oppinion about it).
  5. Not everyone has access to a mental health specialist. (I should repeat this thirty times so that everyone gets it). Depending on where you life, you might not have enough money to afford a therapy. You might loose your complete health insurance or some of it if you go to a therapist more than three times, even if you’re not diagnosed with a condition (it’s like that in my homecountry). Getting diagnosed or attending a therapist literally makes it easier for people to instutionalize you against your will because speaking up against it gets interpreted as a person “not having insight in their own condition" by neurotypicals (even though they might have last beeen in treatment a deade ago… They don’t care, they say that the said person is insane because they say that they need treatment and when they deny it, it just prooves their point) [you would not believe how many therapists I already met who actually think like this].
    Our society is still hugely biased against mentally ill people. Getting a diagnosis can be expensive or impossible for other reasons. Not in every country you can attend a therapist without getting an official diagnosis (some people might do “off record”-diagnoisis, meaning that they confirm that you have a certain condition but don’t give you a diagnostic paper because they know how this can affect you. However, this highly depends on how the therapist is paid - if they only receive payment for diagnosed conditions, then they have no choice but diagnose you).
  6. Self-dx can be just as accurate and good as professional dx. There are a lot of free ressources all around the internet, libraries and so on that are actually written for professionals. Reading and applying these things is what maks a professional a professional. It’s exactly how you turn into a professional - your professors hand you the ressources, the rest is your own job. It doesn’t make much of a difference if you read all the books that you need for yourself or if you attend courses at college/university. The only difference is that professionals know a lot about other areas of human behavior and thus are better at evaluating how strongly it differs from normal behavior and in which points a person exactly differs. That doesn’t really have a big impact on the diagnostic process though, it’s just important for a general understanding of this weird species we call homo sapiens. If you feel better about it, you can read those ressources, too, but I wouldn’t deem it nesscessary.
  7. Self-dx actually helps improvement. If a person is not able to consult a specialist, it doesn’t really do any good for them to sit around and wait until they have the oportunity to do so (if that ever happens, which is again not the case for everyone). Because mental illnesses/conditions are just like physical ones - if you don’t treat them, they get worse and worse and worse. Mental health issues lead to different neurons firing in the brain, strengthening different synaptic patterns and thus patterns of thinking and behaving. The longer a person uses their synaptic connections, the more intense they become while others that aren’t use weaken. Not intervening means not stopping this process. And depending on how long a person has been following some of those patterns, they might take twice the time to “rewire” themselves or might even be unable to do so ever.
    It is important to treat mental illnesses as soon as possible in order to prevent further damage. Being against self-dx is being against people who don’t have a possibility to get help helping themselves which is frankly the only thing that might save them or give them the chance to live their life how they want to. Knowing about what illness you have is important in order to know how to cope with what. Sometimes it’s even essential to know what you need to cope with in the first place (e.g. my autism diagnosis… I was born autistic and didn’t know that I was autistic. The first thing I had to learn is what exactly makes me different from other people which I couldn’t know because I didn’t even know that I was different. I didn’t know what exactly made me feel bad, what stressed me out, and so on. But finally having a diagnosis, finally knowing what I’m dealing with helped me improve my life a whole damn lot.) 
  8. Self-dx is not a short process. I’ve always known that I wasn’t neurotypical, that’s for sure. However, it took me years to finally figure out which conditions I actually have and which are just results of other conditions I had. In order to do that, I needed to research everything that was somehow related to anything that I could be affected by. Self-dx takes time and extensive screening of information because, guess what, mis-self-diagnosing is just as unhelpful as professional mis-diagnosing. Only that it’s much easier to figure out if you’ve wrongly misdiagnosed yourself and went about it the wrong way than actually getting a specialist to admit that they misdiagnosed you (because therapists actually like to forget that they’re not omnipotent themselves).
  9. No one actually thinks that self-dx should replace professional-dx. Nobody actually wants to deny that professional diagnosis are valid by self-dxing. They don’t want to make fun of a disorder or “try to be edgy by having a mental condition”. Just like od-people don’t have the condition to be cool or edgy. The only difference is that od-people have a sheeet of paper that a human signed and that is saying “you have this disorder, congratulations, here is why I know”.
  10. Neurodivergent people actually know that they are neurodivergent! Everyone who has been diagnosed with anything later in life that they actually had since they were little should understand that not the diagnosis makes you have a condition but that actually having a condition gets you your diagnosis. Everyone remembers signs and symptoms they showed prior to their diagnosis. And it’s the same for self-dx people. Only because they didn’t have the chance to get a professional to check their claim, it doesn’t mean that they never noticed that they are mentally ill or in which ways they are. Neurodivergent people are not dumb. They actually know that they’re not neurotypical. So of course they start to look for an explanation, for a label in order to understand what they’re dealing with! And who are you to decide if the label they picked is right or wrong? You don’t know them. And even if it’s wrong… than they will definitely notice and not stick with it becaue “this condition is so much cooler than the one I actually have omg like autism is far more edgy than bpd”. Nobody who seriously self-diagnosed would say anything like that because that’s not the resaon you put so much effort in your self-diagnosis!! It’s because you want to know what’s going on with you and how to cope with it.
    (Being against self dx is actually further pushing the narrative that neurodivergent people don’t know that they aren’t neurotypical which is frankly such a harmful and toxic rethoric that is used against everyone who says that they’re mentally ill [because how bad can it be if you notice, right?] and those who have made enough progress that they wouldn’t consider themselves ill anymore [e.g. instutionalization, as mentioned above]. What is even worse about the rethoric is that in order to get diagnosed [and to diagnose yourself], you have to actually notice how the condition influences your quality of life. If it doesn’t have any impact on that, then you aren’t considered mentally ill. You probably all see now how this is actually the opposite of the rethoric that many people still push and believe in)


Honestly, I could probably continue this list forever, but I’ll stop now. If you feel like you have anything to add, just do it! It’s important to speak out for our self dx friends.

In which Harry is a stripper…

3943 words / Mature

The boy who delivered our drinks was only wearing a flimsy, black apron, which was tied carefully around his waist. With the tray perfectly balanced upon the palm of his hand, he began to pass our drinks out, a huge grin on his face, and his cock just inches from my face.
I turned to the rest of the girls with wide eyes.

“Special occasion?” He asked, a thick Irish accent.

“I’m getting married!” The bride to be piped up, as smug as ever.

“Congratulations!” He beamed. “Sad to see you off the market, Gorgeous.”

All the girls sat around our table let out almighty giggles, swooning and fanning themselves, whereas I was too busy trying not to turn back in his direction and stare at his groin. I figured he was used to it in his line of work, but it still felt a little intrusive.

“What’s your name?” Katie barked at him.

“Niall.” He replied. “I’ll be your waiter for the evening. You need anything, just give me a shout.”

“What about your number?”

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anonymous asked:

i have a bit of a seething hatred for jj but i actually really appreciate isabella? shes quite lovely and you know she puts up with 115% of jjs bullshit bc she loves him so much. shes such a supportive fiancee and i get the feeling that jjs parents absolutely adore her.

I think a lot of the hatred around JJ stems from him being unaware of the insensitive, and frankly rude, things he says and does. Like the part where he used “lady” as a degrading term towards Yuri and the time where he approached Victor and Yuuri to talk about another competitor’s successful jump. While that “ladies first” comment was a dick move, an act of douche-baggery, and offensive, I feel like JJ didn’t really mean for it to come across that way. Like in NO way am I excusing him for it but JJ as a person is very lax with his words and attitude for most of the time. He’s got a diva personality, he’s flamboyant as fuck, and he likes teasing people and being included in things. The desire to be included but obviously not mixing well with the rest of the competitors probably evoked more of a desire in him to be included; resulting in him making some insensitive, teasing remarks to just get a reaction out of people and to be at least SOMEWHAT included in their conversation. 

I really do like JJ because the real, unfiltered/uninfluenced JJ we see in his flashbacks when he proposed to Isabella and when he broke down in front of his parents is so damn relatable. He carries a nation’s hope and he’s put the pressure on himself to succeed so he can be WORTHY of returning Isabella’s love. 

The thing is I don’t think JJ truly believes that he deserves Isabella when he first proposed. His proposal had a condition. He wouldn’t marry Isabella UNTIL he won the GPF. In this way, I believe JJ does struggle with dealing with relationships and really understanding that Isabella would love him anyways. Just like how he needs to understand that he doesn’t have to be all up in everyone’s shit to be included or to be friends with everyone. That he doesn’t have to have a king’s attitude to be admired. He doesn’t need to prove anything but he thinks he does.

But JJ crumbles. He’s put up such an attitude of “I’M AN UNDEFEATABLE KING” that he has not allowed himself to be human. Even Victor admitted that JJ was a top candidate for gold because of just how INHUMAN his routines were. He hasn’t made ANY mistakes during the times we’ve watched him skate so when he finally does, he doesn’t know how to cope with it at all. But we see him pick himself up and embrace himself again and I find that beautiful. And of course, it was so touching to see Isabella stand with him through thick and thin. She’s crying, laughing, and celebrating with him every step of the way and I feel like that’s what a true fairy tale romance for a king looks like. 

so anyway lance is the one in the groupchat to randomly send something at like 3 am 

hunk is the one to respond immediately and strike up a conversation w him

pidge read the messages but they dont reply to anything

keith complains they’re all blowing up his notifs

shiro reads the first couple messages, disappears, shows up again to send a singular dad joke at 5 am after everyone else finally fell alseep, refuses to answer whether or not he himself slept

       Traits & symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder in Bum

Hello there! I’ve been meaning to do this post for so long, but decided to wait for the season to end instead.

Since so many people have their doubts on whether Bum has an accurate portrayal of BPD or if he even has that disorder, I’ll try to explain that over here as best as I can, coming from an actual person diagnosed with BPD and a psychology student.

We are gonna go through the DSM V criteria along with other traits that I consider worth mentioning.

Please bear with me!

Keep reading

THE LOVE MAKING

OKAY OKAY HERE IT IS… 

YES THEY DID IT THREE TIMES!!!

First, Doumeki had to penetrate him because yessss!!! Finally fingering!

But, seriously, Doumeki?? only one finger?? you like it tight, don’t you? Oh wait no, it’s two!

Originally posted by mariexavgeropoulos

Then he let his dick out free… ohh, finally after years 

AND THAT ASS WANTS IT BADDD!!!

Originally posted by ba1n3s

Here, in these panels.. I love how Doumeki turns Yashiro’s body to face him, like he wants Yashiro knows that it’s him, that it’s okay and Yashiro should not run from his desire. He desperately wants Yashiro to face the love in front of him and accept it. 

Originally posted by swarklysam

and it’s in..

they did it…

and it feels sooo gooood

it feels like love

Originally posted by n0thinggoodeverstayswithme

BUT BUT BUT YASHIRO WANTS TO TURN AROUND AGAIN.. HE TRIES TO PUSH DOUMEKI WITH HIS HAND BECAUSE IT FEELS SO GOOD HE CANNOT COPE WITH THAT. IT FEELS TOO MUCH FOR HIM TO HANDLE.

But Doumeki grabs his hand fast and puts it out above Yashiro’s head and kisses him hard. 

IT’S GETTING INTENSE I’M JUST.. 

Originally posted by vieilleotaku

AND GOD, DOUMEKI CANT EVEN STOPPING. 

Originally posted by fabulousnerdgurl

ANNNDDD YASHIRO WANTS MORE… HE INITIATES THE NEXT ROUND

AND I’M JUST

Originally posted by thebluefoodofpercy

Not your typical #transformationtuesday but here we go.

This isn’t an easy post but I have now overcame the struggle of coping with gaining weight after reaching my lowest EVER.

This weigh gain HAD to happen.

It was NECESSARY for my personal growth and karmic lesson.

I feel like I spent months loathing over this situation thinking “wtf…how… why..?!”

It felt like a HUGE failure to me.

My old friends, shame & guilt had returned.

It made me want to disappear until I was “skinny again”.

What had gone wrong?

I finally got my answer: I hadn’t learned that lesson.

And what happens when you don’t learn the lesson? THE SITUATION KEEPS COMING BACK!

I understand that I am no where near where I started in the beginning of my journey.. but this was difficult for me to process.

I feel like this situation came back to test me to see if I had really learned those lessons I thought I had overcame.

Some of lessons learned:

🔹Weight is just a symptom of a deeper pain

🔹Don’t let others walk away with your worth or power

🔹We cannot control certain situations but we can control how we react to them

🔹Your intention sets the mood for the journey

🔹 Our bodies are like the seasons, and
constantly changing (infancy, childhood, youth, middle age, old age, weight, size) but the one thing that remains unchangeable is our soul. Our sense of identity. Who we are at our core.

It is now that I am able to move forward with new wisdom and knowledge.

I get it. I see the bigger picture.

This wasn’t a failure. It was a test of the truth. #gainingweightiscool

anonymous asked:

"listen i know i can’t just show up at your apartment at six in the morning but i need coffee and no one makes it like you do" OR "we broke up after i left and moved away and months later i find out you rushed to the airport to stop me but you were too late" with Percabeth?

There are a lot of things Percy expects to see at six in the morning outside his place in New Athens. Campers who are in trouble. Campers who aren’t in trouble, but are being little shits. Lost gods that he can slam the door on. Maybe even his brother, whose sense of timing after spending time on the bottom of the ocean isn’t always great.

Annabeth Chase?

He’s not sure anything could have prepared him for Annabeth Chase.

Riptide is in his hand and ready to be uncapped before either of them say anything, his senses on red alert because the only reason his ex-girlfriend would be standing in front of him right now is if some sort of terrible disaster had struck the town.

Her hand snaps out, gently pressing his wrist down. The touch of skin on skin is like fire through his veins, and just for a second, Percy forgets how to breathe.

“No!” Her face is pink in the hazy dawn light. “No I - ugh, sorry, there’s nothing wrong. This was a bad idea, I should - I’m going.”

“Wait–” He takes a stumbling half-step towards her, just barely suppressing the urge to reach for her. The memory of her hand on his wrist still throbs, and he’s pretty sure it’s not something either of them want to repeat. “What - uh, how can I help? Did you need help? What do you need?”

The awkwardness hangs so thing in the air, they practically have to chew through it to speak. Annabeth looks briefly like she’s considering not even trying, before her shoulders slump. She rubs the back of her neck, looking up at the sky, and that’s when Percy notices the dark circles under them.

“Coffee,” she sighs. “I might have been up all night working on some plans, and I really need to get them done, and then I’ve got knifework with the campers later and I really don’t want to accidentally stab them. Plus I’m pretty sure that Chiron wants to meet with me about incorporating some different habitats into our next expansion and I wanted to draft up some ideas for that and–”

Once upon a time, he probably would have put his hand over her mouth and dragged her inside.

Once upon a time, he might have calmed her down with a kiss instead of his hand.

Right now, all he can really do is stand there, half-amused, half-concerned (all affection), waiting patiently for it all to come out. She finishes with something about needing to call her dad, and her face is definitely bright red now. For a moment (and it’s not the first moment), Percy forgets all about the fights and the screaming, the endless nightmares caught between them.

For a moment, he loves Annabeth Chase and it’s enough.

“I can do coffee,” he says, leaning against the doorframe with a grin. “If you cancel that meeting with Chiron and give yourself a break.”

The moment stretches as she blinks at him, turning that over in her mind. Once upon a time, it would have gotten him a laugh and a smack on the shoulder, a begrudging agreement as they both wandered inside.

Annabeth frowns, and the moment shatters. “I don’t need you to baby me, Percy,” she says tightly. “I’m an adult. I can make my own decisions.”

Irritation flares in his chest. “I know you’re an adult, I’m just worried–”

“How about you worry about yourself and your little excursions into monster territory, and leave my coping mechanisms to me?”

They stare at each other. The irritation twists into something darker, and it’s only those little excursions, the main outlet for the rage that burns inside him, that keep him from exploding in her face.

“Do you want coffee or not?” he asks finally. He sounds like a dead thing.

“I’ll get some at camp,” she says, and is gone before either one of them can start yelling.

anonymous asked:

What is your opinion on season 4 so far?

this is probably confusing, but stay with me: i don’t “really” consider us in season four yet! 

su was originally renewed for three seasons: all ~52 episodes, give or take turning an ep into a series of shorts. that’s how they were written - while the overall story is more important than the format, we can expect whatever happens at the end of season ‘five’ to be more of a “finale” than the end of season ‘four’, because that’s really just the midseason finale of season three (like ocean gem for season one). 

cartoon network arbitrarily decided to split the seasons: cutting s2 in half, and the same with s3, so they could make the ‘happy announcement’ that su had been renewed for two more seasons… but it’s the same number of episodes, just a confusing season split, for some reason. you still get 155-ish episodes.

(i made a chart!) 

due to how it was originally written, and since i think it’s unfair to compare a 52 episode-season to a 26 episode one, i still think of this as the first half of season three. with that in mind, we have a lot of very interesting setup: 

while hindsight will allow us to reflect on it as a whole, this half-season is the one that feels the most like steven’s season to me. 

he needed a good while to cope with the recent events like bismuth, jasper’s corruption, really everything about rose. he’s taken his time to try to re-connect with people, vent and figure things out (this has been a very frequent theme: the kindergarten kid, know your fusion, mindful education, future boy zoltron, onion gang, gem harvest, the zoo arc, storm in the room, tiger philanthropist and room for ruby all deal with this to an extent). he particularly wants to know how to feel about rose, in order to figure out how to feel about himself.

Originally posted by m-adz

in addition to seeking answers and closure by himself, he’s needed a lot of help. from connie, garnet, amethyst, greg, pearl, human contacts, peridot and lapis. he’s just… incredibly frustrated, and he still feels like he can’t help as much as he wants to (the kindergarten kid, mindful education, the zoo arc, but also as a larger theme). things are a lot more complicated, and he’s felt very alone. this has lead him to rush into things (like the zoo arc) and desperately seek any avenue for information about rose. it’s come to the point (storm in the room) where he’s just had to tell himself how to feel, in order to feel ok again. 

he’s also repeatedly tried to connect with people, and help in any way he can (onion gang, future boy zoltron, gem harvest, rocknaldo, tiger philanthropist, room for ruby), but also realized it’s partially to help himself feel less alone (onion gang, gem harvest, tiger philanthropist). in the middle of that, he’s been exposed to more of gem culture, homeworld gems and even seen the diamonds at a particularly vulnerable time (steven’s dream, the whole zoo arc, room for ruby). after all this time, he still wants to help. he’s trying to figure out how, while living his life and finding more friends.

Originally posted by sapphirerose818

he’s got a lot to deal with. i think he’s more ready to face that than before (mindful education, the zoo arc, storm in the room, room for ruby)… but he still doesn’t have answers, and he’s agitated the crystal gems won’t tell him everything (again, the zoo arc, but this is a bigger theme in general). we’ve seen they want to help (steven’s dream), and want to make efforts to make him feel better (tiger philanthropist). 

in the middle of all of this, you have gems like peridot and lapis falling into sort of a status quo situation where they - and lapis in particular - sort of stay away from the crystal gems without addressing bad blood, because she’d rather just live peacefully. the show has made several points out of how she’s not thriving (gem harvest, the new crystal gems, room for ruby), and how she’s still deeply flawed, frustrated and occasionally quite angry at both others and herself (all three eps i just mentioned). i believe that will come to a head, even if she’s trying to live normally and doesn’t really ‘want’ to be a focus (not to mention if jasper comes back). 

Originally posted by pastfuturevision

Originally posted by doafhat

it seems that in any season, the ‘second half’ has more payoff in general. sure, there’s coping with what happens in the midseason finale, and occasional attempts at restoring some semblance of normality… but things are going to change, especially leading up to the season finale - aka the “serious corner” rebecca sugar said she would write us into, as she said she was “shooting for the moon” in the upcoming half. if you’re a ‘plot’ kind of person, that’s probably gonna be more up your ally. personally, i’m still curious about the rest of this half-season: “lion” episodes are very interesting… assuming lion 4: alternate ending is still next, i’m excited for that. 

i also think something is gonna be shaken up in the midseason finale, as usually happens (mirror gem/ocean gem, message received/log date). it could be a lot of things: the return of jasper, the rubies, new forces from the diamonds, possibly with steven heading towards some kind of epiphany or learning a new (big) truth, or lapis becoming tired of this life and finding something to take her out of retirement… or maybe something completely unpredictable! there’s a lot of things in progress, and it’s hard to say where it’s going. 

there are many other things i could have mentioned, that might become important (how often steven’s guilt for rose’s actions is brought up, how yellow diamond is planning something, how we’ve learned more about jasper, how peridot’s become a stronger metalbender, how amethyst’s become pretty happy in general, garnet’s worries, ect), but this is the kind of stuff that’s gonna be much easier to reflect on once we’re past midseason. 

for now, i like this season a lot. i particularly think it’s been better at tying steven’s issues and trauma into both human and gem episodes, and that the whole mess around rose is fascinating. 

Originally posted by stevensstars

How I learnt to study

During High school I was one of those students who never really had to work for my marks, I had the uncanny ability to leave my assignment till the night before and still manage full marks that is ..till I got to university, my first year was a disaster I was barely passing my units I was stressed and depressed, what got me through high school was clearly not working in university. So to stop my second year in university from being a disaster as well and to save my gpa I decided to learn how to study from scratch!  spoiler: It worked and my marks have tripled since I adopted these habits. So here are the things I started doing!

- I invested in school supplies that I NEEDED and not just for aesthetic, example I bought tons and tons of basic cheap notebooks because I knew I was going to do a lot of writing and things like flashcards. My rule of thumb was if its functional its perfect.

- I attended every lecture and every class no matter what the time was! This is essential as it saves time later when you are rushing around trying to catch up. 

- I tried to stay up to date no matter what! Before I would let lecture after lecture pile up but ever since doing this, my study life has been much easier to cope with. 

- UNDERSTANDING EVERYTHING YOU LEARN FROM THAT WEEK, I cannot stress how much this has helped me. If I am learning about a topic in week 5, I have to understand it fully in week 5, not when I am in finals week and stressing out. I use resources such as textbooks and the internet to help me understand or I will ask my teacher. The important thing is I understand it fully.

- Be organised!  Know when you have an assignment due, there are so many ways to do this. Handheld planner, wall planner, phone reminders, there is apps such as my study life. Anything that will remind you to get started on the thing before it is too late.

- Review your notes weekly or fortnightly!!! Memory works by relearning, instead of cramming the night before exams, review weeks before.

- Break down your essays weeks before its due, you don’t have to start writing them right away but at least start thinking about them.

- Utilise any free time, for example instead of listening to music on my 45 min bus ride to uni I started listening to a psych podcast or doing my readings for that day.

- Have mental health days, I found out how difficult it is to study and how necessary it is to take breaks. Studying is stressful, have days/half days where you relax and look after yourself.

-Cut down on caffeine, I was a serial coffee addict, Im talking 4 shots a cup three times a day. Cutting down reduced my anxiety and got me sleeping more, which improved my mood and energy.

- Have a study buddy/group, find someone who is serious about their study and have study sessions with them, you get to study and have a social life.

- Find a study schedule that suits you, don’t feel pressure to get up at 5 am if you find it easier to study at 6pm.

- Have a study place, that you know you will study in! It can be your local library, your desk, your bed. Anything that you find will work for you!

78/100 Days of Productivity

03/19/2017 || Domingo en fuego

I think I lost my halo.
12 years of school are coming to end. I don’t know how to cope with this! April 6th is my last “official” school day and in may my 5 final exams(Abitur sort of a levels) start and after that I am done! There is no more me sitting in school! I can barely picture me applying for university.
Over all these years I have lost my halo… and I need to gain it back!
(Look at my chubby feet crawling into the photo!)